Slow Down


Credit: Seluryar / photo on flickr

Houston, Texas, police officer David Carter has been fired after a local TV station found he'd been writing speeding tickets while off duty and mailing them to the vehicles' owners without ever pulling them over. Carter claimed to have "paced" the vehicles in his personal vehicle.

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  1. If you’re a cop and want to take your work home with you, just beat the shit out of someone while shouting at them to stop reaching for your off-duty gun. That’s not a punishable offense. If your problem is that you can’t reach your ticket-writing quota while on the clock, then you need to find another line of work.

  2. Aside from the issues of being off duty and not pulling anyone over, vehicles used for pacing have strict calibration requirements his POV almost certainly does not meet.

  3. “To Whom It May Concern,

    As you know, your local municipality, after a riveting leadership retreat in which we watched Minority Report, has determined that it is in the county’s best interests to employ mentally handicapped “savants” to predict criminal behavior. One our of retards has determined that you committed a speeding infraction on a specific date without a specific time.

    Cheers and get bent,
    The Police”

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