Which Presidential Candidate Resembles Which Star Wars Character?

Besides, obviously, Donald Trump as Darth Vader. And Lincoln Chafee as C-3PO.

Meredith Bragg/Reason

Now that the trailer is out for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, which will be released in December, we can finally ask some tough questions. Chief among them: Which presidential candidate resembles which Star Wars character?

It seems a cinch that Donald Trump approaches Darth Vader, at least in terms of domination of every living thought so far on the Republican side. Trump is essentially force-choking his GOP rivals the way the Sith Lord dispatches with annoying crewmembers.

And to the extent that C-3PO's main function is to smooth etiquette and customs, let's call him the Lincoln Chafee of George Lucas's trillion-dollar franchise. Chafee's main claim to fame at this point in the race is his lack of scandals and lack of centrality to the main plotline.

But beyond that, where do we go from? Work it out in the comments, readers, and lay waste to the premise like a Tusken Raider with a hangover.

Related: Bill Kristol Defends Galactic Empire 

Comments

[F. Mattress Boy, Jr.]

Michelle = Chewbacca

WHAT DO I WIN

[commodious spittoon]

The opprobrium of all Right Thinking People who recognize that First Lady Michelle is a beautiful, empowered, and inspirational Person of Color who should be cherished for making the lightbringer the man he is today.

[Agammamon]

Don't forget classy and a stylish dresser too!

[commodious spittoon]

She's a beautiful woman in so many ways, most of them not in a physical sense.

[Agammamon]

Or an emotional, spiritual, or philosophical sense.

[commodious spittoon]

It's mostly just conceptual. Conceptually, she is very beautiful.

[Troy muy grande boner]

And in a hairy sense. Like hairier than Warty's back sense.

[Zeb]

Honestly, except for the expression she likes to wear on her face, she isn't bad for a middle aged mother. But Chewbacca still fits.

[Agammamon]

I agree - she's not an unattractive woman.

But she's not classy, stylish, empowering, or inspirational, or any of the other fawning things sycophants say about her.

[SQRLSY One]

Hillary-Bob is most like Princess Lay-a-me-please because she is so HOT!!!

My favorite fantasy is getting "done" by Hillary-Bob and Billary-Bob and "Iron Pants Maggie" all at the same time, but "Iron Pants Maggie" up and died on me... "Iron Pants Maggie" being dead might not subtract all that much from the fantasy, though, I suppose, on 2nd thought...

Ya wanna join me & the crew?!?!?

[gaoxiaen]

She puts Eleanor Roosevelt to shame.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Like Chewbacca, Michelle is always armed.

[Crusty Juggler]

She's a beautiful woman in so many ways, most of them not in a physical sense.

I completely disagree.

[Juice]

Chewie dies in the next movie.

[Granny Weatherwax]

He gets a moon dropped on him? Or is that just the books...

[Cavadus]

That's just the books but Disney shit-canned the entire EU (good riddance) so that's all pretend now. All of that old non-canon material is labeled "legends" now.

I think there are, like, four canon books now or somesuch. Tarkin, Dark Lords of the Sith, Aftermath, and some comic book thing IIRC.

[gaoxiaen]

I can't believe that Chris Christie as Jabba the Hutt wasn't first.

[PS]

I kinda think that Hilary is one of those guys in the Mos Eisly bar who is wanted and has the death sentence on 12 systems.

[Swiss Servator]

+1 You had better watch yourself!

[DEATFBIRSECIA]

For some reason I keep seeing Rand as Jar Jar Binks.

Not sure why.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Rand is the coolest character in Star Wars history: Wedge.

Gary Johnson is Biggs, the guy with the kickass stache who dies in the first movie.

[commodious spittoon]

I thought Lando is the coolest cat in Star Wars.

[Agammamon]

Lando is the smooooooooothest cat in Star Wars.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHtT0x6_MDM

[Paul.]

Lando drinks Colt 45.

[Zeb]

Works every time.

[Pathogen]

Every time you're down to your last $1.30, and *need* a beer...

[Agammamon]

Colt 45 and two Zig-Zags, baby that's all we need.

[SQRLSY One]

Whatcha got in that them thar Zig-Zags, boy?!?!?!

[buybuydandavis]

I was thinking Rand as 3CPO.

[Migrant Log Chipper]

This ^^^^

[Muzzle of Bees]

3CPO

Lolololololololol!!1!!

[gaoxiaen]

I see Rand Paul like Han Solo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p79C2O3E9n0

[Atanarjuat]

Rand Moff Tarkin.

[Swiss Servator]

*Grand Moff Narrowed Gaze*

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

The Empire brought order, Nick! And it decentralized power from the Senate to regional governors.

[buybuydandavis]

For a safe and secure society!

[Fist of Etiquette]

I suppose Carson is Lando. You racists.

[Jerryskids]

Carson as Jar-Jar Binks would be racist. If the Star Wars movie had had a Jar-Jar Binks, of course. I'm not saying that Jar-Jar was actually a real Star Wars character.

[buybuydandavis]

I had Biden as Jar-Jar.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Star Wars = the most overrated franchise in cinema history.

Discuss.

[PapayaSF]

I think of "overrated" as applying to critical opinion. By that measure, Star Wars is not. Most critics are not fans, beyond "Good as a popcorn movie" praise.

[Bill Dalasio]

Essentially the first two were brilliant. After that the franchise sucked royally.

[Crusty Juggler]

Don't encourage the nerds, Mrs.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Walker fizzled out so unceremoniously that I guess he's Boba Fett.

[brady949]

Nah, people actually like Boba Fett.

[Episiarch]

"Boba Fett? Where?"

(knocks Boba Fett into Sarlacc)

Yeah, that sounds more like something that would happen to Uncle Joe, to be honest.

[PapayaSF]

If only Evita Peron were in Star Wars, we'd have a place for Hillary.

I am still at a loss for a Sanders character. I just think of him as one of my fellow hippy/countercultural types from college in the '70s, who somehow managed to not learn anything since then.

[Doctor Whom]

Yoda he could be if badassery and pithy wisdom he had.

[Bill Dalasio]

If only Evita Peron were in Star Wars, we'd have a place for Hillary.

I don't know. Hilary certainly looks like Palpataine.

[PapayaSF]

Zing!

[buybuydandavis]

Oh, yeah.

Hillary as Palpatine. That is by *far* the best match.

I think someone beat us to it. Thought I saw the comparison the other day.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Jim Webb is Lobot. (the second coolest character in SW history)

[Fist of Etiquette]

New Jersey Democrat Chris Christie? Porkins, of course.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

He's gonna eat that ass like a pie.

And good on you for not going with Jabba. Porkins is the answer of a true geek.

[Agammamon]

Jabba built a petty crime empire - that's Christie all the way.

[buybuydandavis]

Jabba is clearly from Joisey.

[Loki]

Could apply to Hillary too.

[Bill Dalasio]

Really? I was thinking Jaba.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Everyone was. That is why I am exceptional and the rest of you are unremarkable.

[Fist of Etiquette]

RAND SHOT FIRST.

[Citizen X]

It goes without saying that Christie is Jabba.

[Fist of Etiquette]

If you vote Sanders out, he shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

[Fist of Etiquette]

And, really, how many different types of landspeeder do you really need?

[Doctor Whom]

When sarlacci are hungry in this galaxy?

[lap83]

Hillary

[Juice]

yes

YES!

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

I knew it.

For some reason, I associate it with Bloomberg instead. Hillary makes more sense, but I keep imagining Bloomberg making that sound.

[lap83]

Has anyone ever seen Bloomberg and Hillary in the same room?

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

That is weirdly uncanny. Now if it just had a fake Southern laugh too.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Hillary

[lap83]

I fear for the sanity of the person who created that

[Pathogen]

She is improving her algorithms for plausible human emulation, soon she will pass the Turing test.. I fear the rise of the machines..

[Marshall Gill]

Thank Science my guns are in the other room. After just a couple of minutes of that cackling I was thinking maybe I should just go ahead and kill myself. Even though I turned the video off, I am still haunted by that sound.

[Paul.]

I see Nick is taking his style cues from Buzzfeed.

[Agammamon]

Its pretty obvious that Jar Jar is Biden.

Can't possibly imagine how anyone could possibly think he was suitable for his position - check

Talks like an idiot - check

Keeps doing inappropriate things - check

[Paul.]

It seems a cinch that Donald Trump approaches Darth Vader, at least in terms of domination of every living thought so far on the Republican side.

You're shitting me, right? Hillary is Darth Vader. Trump is Jabba the Hut- a crude and shrewd businessman willing to make deals and make a bit show. If Hillary gets elected in 2016, then we can start referring to her as Palpatine.

[Zeb]

I think that is much better. Trump as Vader and Christy as Jabba is just too facile and obvious.

[Paul.]

If there was no Trump, Christy would be the shoo-in for Jabba. But Trump is the ULTIMATE Jabba by personality alone.

[Paul.]

I mean, for god's sake, he had a reality show where he threw people into a pit to fight it out... I mean, COME ON FOR CHRISSAKES!

[HazelMeade]

Concur. Plus, he owns the Miss Universe pagent, which is all about oppressed women in bikinis.

[Paul.]

Boom.

[PapayaSF]

+1 for Paul. This makes more sense. We still need a role for Sanders, though.

[HazelMeade]

Anakin Skywalker in episodes 2-3. An idealist who is destined to be corrupted by power, if he ever gets it.

[Loki]

Nor only that, but an idealist who believes that government can fix all of society's ills if only the right Top. Man. (himself, natch) is in charge. I think you've nailed it.

[Hugh Akston]

I could never tell, was C-3PO the top or the bottom?

[Paul.]

I'm pretty sure he was catching, not pitching.

[Agammamon]

R2-D2, however, gives it up for free.

[Paul.]

R2-D2 is the consummate ladies-bot. He comes on as sexually non-threatening, and as a result gets more bumper than a bodyshop.

[PapayaSF]

So... Kasich?

[Rich]

Nice.

[Zeb]

He's a robot, he can do it however you want. Just watch out the golden shower doesn't short his master circuit out or the Central Scrutinizer will get you and send you to prison for some serious sodomy.

[Hugh Akston]

Uh well I was referring to his relationship with R2-D2, but clearly that hot oil bath he got in Episode IV gave you some...ideas.

[MikeP]

Walker fizzled out so unceremoniously that I guess he's Boba Fett.

Farmer. Worried about having the units on the south ridge repaired by midday. Afraid that Jeb has too much of his father in him.

Fizzled out.

Uncle Owen.

[Paul.]

Rand is the Storm Trooper who agrees that "these aren't the droids we're looking for".

Bernie Sanders is C3PO.

Jim Webb is Gredo.

[Paul.]

Jeb Bush is Boba Fett.

[Paul.]

GOD It's like you guys have never done this before!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Well, I know who Yoda is.

[Paul.]

My mom?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Obviously.

[buybuydandavis]

Ron Paul is Yoda.

[Notorious UGCC]

If I had to compare these candidates to Star Wars characters, I'd say they're like the members of the Borg collective.

Hey, why did it suddenly get quiet, as if I'd committed some kind of nerd faux pas?

[Doctor Whom]

Just recite the litany against fear a couple of times.

[Agammamon]

Good going Harry, maybe Gandalf'll let you out of school early.

[cavalier973]

Harry? YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

And libertarians are the Reavers?

[Notorious UGCC]

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, like millions of nerds face-palming themselves.

(Which is really nasty considering where their palms have been)

[JD the elder]

I'm going to fly my huge geek flag and point out that AFAIK it's canon that the Empire had an explicit policy of human supremacy. So not exactly an enlightened liberal regime.

[Agammamon]

So, just like the Democrats then?

[Pathogen]

Spaarti Creations operated on a similar premise to planned parenthood..

[Careless]

Canon where?

[GILMORE?]

Gillespie has redeemed himself with that photo alone

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

WHERE MY FORCE GONE?

[F. Mattress Boy, Jr.]

Hillary Clinton is Elan Sleazebaggano.

[PapayaSF]

I think that's Justin Trudeau.

[F. Mattress Boy, Jr.]

I don't have a good match for Elan Sleazebaggano, honestly. I just wanted to point out that George Lucas thought "Elan Sleazebaggano" would be a good name for a character in one of his movies.

[Paul.]

Yes, @billkristol, the Empire was a Deathstar-based jobs program & child-Ewok tax credit away from 5% annual growth

Well done, Nick... well done.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy and Spock.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Hillary: Vader

Trump and his supporters: Sandpeople

JEB!: Grand Moff Tarkin

Christie: Jabba

Rubio: Luke

Walker: Biggs

O'Malley: the impudent officer that Vader chokes

Carson: Lando

Fiorina: Leia

Rand: Han Solo

Bernie: Obi-Wan Kenobi (they're both grizzled old bullshiters)

Webb: R2D2

Huckabee: C3PO

[Paul.]

Let's try again:

Hillary: VADER

Trump: Jabba the hut (see above: obvious choice. Business man, throws people into pits to fight it out)

Jeb: Boba Fett (Came on strong early, fizzled spectacularly)

Christie: Doesn't even rate as a character

Rubio: No opinion.

Walker: Biggs

Webb: Gredo

Sanders: C3PO. Obi was too sophisticated and capable. C3PO is the bumbling but amiable robot.

Rand: Han Solo is nice, but Han Solo was winning.

Carson: Lando... I like this.

Firoina: Was tempted to call her Leia, but something about that doesn't work.

Huckabee; I'll switch this from Rand, Huckabee is the storm trooper that agreed these aren't the droids we're looking for.

[Pathogen]

Webb: Gredo

Sooo... Anderson Cooper shot first?

[Paul.]

Pretty much, regardless, Gredo never even knew what hit him, and was out of it before it started.

[F. Mattress Boy, Jr.]

DAMMIT YOU GUYS IT'S GREEDO NOT GREDO

[Paul.]

See, I was never even cool enough to be uncool.

[Careless]

Christie: Doesn't even rate as a character

That's why Porkins was a good choice.

[SIV]

at least in terms of domination of every living thought so far on the Republican side

Libertarian moment?

[Rich]

That was a long time ago in a galaxy far far away.

[bacon-magic]

Let me fix it all for you:
Every Star Wars character that didn't like and was immaterial to the script - are the ones that best describes these miserable p.o.s.'s. (p.o.s.'s ?)

[bacon-magic]

*that you didn't like
bad grammar my is

[Rich]

Yoda?!

[commodious spittoon]

Okay, the Force Awakawaka trailer looks pretty bitchin', although Ford looks like he's reprising his role as Colonel Graff rather than Han Solo. However, that fucking crossguard on Sith Lord McBadguy's lightsaber is fucking retarded and every time I see it I want to box Abrams around the head and face with my fists.

[Agammamon]

'Hey, people say that lightsabers need crossguards to protect the users hand.'

'OK, put one on the new guy's lightsaber - but make sure the actual part that the lightsaber blade can't cut through doesn't start until an inch or two away from the handle.'

[DaveSs]

I can only imagine that such a device would be more a danger to the user than an aid.

If you want a crossguard on a lightsaber, use a material that is resistant to lightsabers.

[mad.casual]

You know who else hated lightsabers with crossguards?

[commodious spittoon]

"And that teen girl flying around on a USB hard drive!"

Hahah

[AlmightyJB]

Nice:)

[gaoxiaen]

He was better in Apocalypse Now.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

You people are unserious.

If you're gonna do something like this do it to the cast of WKRP in Cincinnati.

Boneheads.

[Agammamon]

So . . . Venus Flytrap is Lando?

[bacon-magic]

I watched that show religiously when I was 12ish...can't remember any of it.

[mad.casual]

Same here. I could pick the actors out of a lineup. Most of them. If they were dressed similarly and hadn't aged unusually. Probably.

[OldMexican]

I had a big crush on Jan Smithers.

[AlmightyJB]

Wonder why:)

[But Enough About Me]

Who didn't? (Although the linked photo blows.)

[buybuydandavis]

About the same age for me.

I remember just two things about it. I was a twelve year old boy. Of course I remember those.

[Rhywun]

Bazooms?

[AlmightyJB]

Turkeys can't fly

[NotAnotherSkippy]

As God is my witness, I thought minimum wage could fly.

[Quincy.]

Andy Travis: Jeb

Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: Biden

Dr. Johnny Fever : Rand

Jennifer Elizabeth Marlowe: Fiorina

Les Nessman: Sanders

Herb Tarlek: Trump

Venus Flytrap: Cruz

Bailey Quarters: Walker

Lillian 'Mama' Carlson: Hillary

[PACW]

Spot on.

[IceTrey]

Riiiiiight. Nothing evil about blowing up an an entire planet full of innocent babies. Must be one of those "sins of the father" scenarios.

[Paul.]

This is a curiously written article by the New York Times.

I don't follow Canadian politics particularly closely, but this article keeps suggesting that Trudeau's win was "real" while the Harper wins of the past election campaigns were manufactured and not based on any legitimate support from voters. To wit:

And gone, too, will be the Conservative habit of pushing policies at home that were popular with Mr. Harper's right wing but divisive to the larger electorate

What electorate kept electing Harper... three times in a row?

Also this:

Canadian law bans corporations and labor unions from making political donations, and imposes fairly low limits on personal donations. So the Conservatives used sophisticated software to develop and promote political issues that would draw large numbers of small donations from supporters, even if found little support in the rest of the population.

Many, many small donations from supporters, even if no one else supported him.

So the Liberals nor the New Democrats could get large numbers of small donations, even though under Canadian law, those are the only ones allowed?

They also keep talking about how Trudeau and his Liberals "swept into power"... with the same fractured vote totals that put the conservatives into power.

[Paul.]

Crap, wrong thread.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

The media hated Harper and all the incoherence flows from that.

[Sevo]

The one that looks like Chewbaka.

[The Late P Brooks]

How could anybody but Lindsey Graham be C3PO?

[Pathogen]

What is a "Lindsey Graham"?

[Paul.]

I think he played for Fleetwood Mac.

[AlmightyJB]

I thought Lindsey Graham.was Forrest Gump or Cleveland.

[gaoxiaen]

It's a Paul McCartney in the missionary position.

[tbeard524]

I bought brand new BMW by working ONline work. Six month ago i hear from my friend that she is working some online job and making more then 98$/hr i can't beleive. But when i start this job i have to beleived her
Now i am also making 98$/hr if you want to try just check this out

-------------- http://www.HomeJobs90.Com

[Paul.]

New York Magazine is all about campus sex this month.

And Reason's jealous.

[TheZeitgeist]

Don't know about the candidates and Star Wars, but the political establishment strike me as hapless stormtroopers firing thousands of rounds at Donald Trump from forty yards away and inexplicably not getting one damn hit.

[Agammamon]

Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise.

[buybuydandavis]

more applause

[lap83]

*applause*

[Agammamon]

Star wars shows targeted killings do not work.

http://warisboring.com/article.....dont-work/

[HazelMeade]

Clinton: Count Dooku

Trump: Jabba the Hutt

Sanders: Anakin Skywalker

Biden: Jar Jar Binks

Lindsey Graham: Grand Moff Tarkin

[HazelMeade]

Actually wait, Sanders is Count Dooku, Hillary is Senator Palpatine, from the prequels.

[lap83]

I understand the impulse to compare Democrats with the dark side of the force. The main problem with that is that it implies that they're on some level cool or bad-ass.

[Inigo Carmine]

Ron Paul: Adm. Akbar - "The FED is a TRAP!"

Rand Paul: Lando? Starts out with you thinking he's a cool Rebel, then starts to suck up to the empire because he think's it's the only way he can avoid being destroyed by them.

[HazelMeade]

Liking the Paul = Lando match. Especially since Cloud City is a privately owned and sovereign city-state, which is fairly libertarianish.

[Paul.]

I like it too. Because Cloud City isn't into all the lame-o bummer-head-trip 'sovereignty' shit, so they're incredibly vulnerable to those that are.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

What are these "prequels" of which you speak?

[BiMonSciFiCon]

"Many congressional staffers died to bring us this information."

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'm guessing this was a bet between Nick and Robby as to whether he could get more comments with a Star Wars thread than the PM links.

We are simply nerd pawns.

[Paul.]

OT: Seattle losing "middle income" residents, scratches head as to why, dicks around with 2000 words trying to understand why, comes to expected mealy mouthed conclusions.

The area also relies on four major employers ? Microsoft, Amazon, Boeing and the University of Washington ? which, directly or indirectly, provide about 30 percent of the jobs here, Wenstrup said.

Perhaps they're the only kinds of employers that can easily weather a minimum wage increase? Many middle-income business owners (yes, they exist!) get chased out with increased regulation, decreased options for transportation (middle income earners often drive by car because they can't afford to live in swanky, hip neighborhoods where public transit serves well) and slowly crushing property taxes that the poor don't directly pay, and the rich can easily weather.

http://www.seattletimes.com/bu.....itiveness/

[Episiarch]

Microsoft isn't affected (for the most part) by Seattle's wage hike because they're in Redmond. And probably because most of their workers make far more than minimum wage. Really, what would be pushing middle income residents out is the skyrocketing housing costs. And the fact that you can't get lunch in South Lake Union for less than $12. Or the constantly worsening traffic and absurd road construction. But you know all this.

HR Director: Legally, I have to pay you something, but, uh, minimum wage maybe?

Mac: Minimum wage?

Charlie: Are you kidding me?

Mac: That's great.

Charlie: Absolutely.

Mac: That's more than we expected.

Charlie: That's a government salary right there.

[Meriwether3]

This won't be popular, but here we go.

Darth Vader is the violent, genocidal, imperialist, win at all costs, 2nd in command. Therefore, he is Clinton.

Emperor Palpatine is the conniving, insider, works in the shadows, double-crossing mastermind. We won't find out who it is until the "election" is over and the Capitol building is in flames. Bush? Cruz? Christie? We won't know until it's too late! BUT it is definitely Christie.

Boba Fett is the opportunitist entrepreneur bounty hunter who is in it for himself, who also inspires a vast army of clones. So, sadly, Donald Trump (shudders).

Hans Solo is just like Boba Fett, except with a soft touch and heart of gold. So, sadly, Bernie Sanders (shudders).

Obi-Wan is the wise, self-sacrificing patriarch, who gets cut down early but keeps popping up as a ghost, and has been in hiding for at least the last 8 years, so maybe Joe Biden?

Admiral Ozzel was Vader's second in command, a sycophantic, arrogant, weak minded, and ultimately disposable star destroyer commander. So, Bush....

[Fist of Etiquette]

Rebuttal: WRONG.

[Meriwether3]

meh.

[Bill Dalasio]

Strictly, I'd say Kristol has a stronger case than he gives. Just not for the reasons he suggests.

We know history is written by the victors. And. obviously, the Rebel Alliance and the Jedi were the victors in Star Wars. But even from their slanted presentation, the best you can say is that there wasn't a good guy in the story.

The Old "Republic" wasn't a republic in any meaningful sense of the term. It was a confederation of local elites, many of whom were completely undemocratic in their own right - Queen Amidala, Princess Leia. There was obviously an active slave trade (one that at least appears to have been stamped out or discouraged by the Empire). And local minorities were forced to go into hiding. The entire system was kept afloat by an unaccountable military and quasi-religious order that claimed neutrality while actively taking part in local political disputes.

This religious order made it a key point to root out and kill members of a rival religious sect based on the claim that they were evil. When push came to shove, the leadership of this cult showed himself perfectly willing to kill someone accused in cold blood, even when a fellow member of the order tried to raise issues of the rights of the accused and rule of law. Later, a fellow member of the order tried to deceive an initiate of the sect into murdering his own father, the same member who tried to raise the classical liberal issues previously.

[Bill Dalasio]

(continued)

And then we look at the Rebel alliance. Who were the key members? Well, essentially you had the muddle-headed initiate, a debutante and a common criminal whose main concern seems to be hiding out from his creditors. Oh, and the farmboy and debutante flirt a lot of the time with an out-and-out incestuous relationship. Instead, the debutante decides on the crook.

The Empire might not be the good guys. But it's hard to make the case that they're the only bad guys.

[Meriwether3]

Very well put.

[PapayaSF]

+1

[DaveSs]

A few points:
Queen Amidala was democratically elected to serve a limited term. The Organa family was more of a hereditary ruling family. Each planet had its own ways.

Slavery was forbidden in the Old and New Republics. It existed in the Outer Rim Territories which was at best only nominally under Republic control. The Empire made slavery of certain non-human species its policy (along with any humans who protested the policy)

While the Senate allowed the Jedi a fair amount of autonomy to act against threats to the Republic, the Jedi were citizens of the Republic and subject to its laws.

[GILMORE?]

I can't bring myself to watch the whole thing, but the concept appears funny

Playing Dungeons & Dragons with Vin Diesel

OT = kudos for his stellar performance as "groot"

[commodious spittoon]

Kidding aside, did you see Riddick? I'm maybe not the best judge of such things since I loved and still have a soft spot for Pitch Black, and remember thinking Chronicles wasn't a complete waste of time, but I thoroughly enjoyed and occasionally rewatch Riddick.

[GILMORE?]

Nope. I saw Pitch Black on a transatlantic flight and thought it was so good I watched it twice to be sure and it was even better the second time around. A genuinely entertaining and well scripted thriller. Hit way above its weight.

Have not seen any of the other films... not for any reason other than just was never in the mood (and maybe i was afraid that reboots would ruin my memory of the first film), but now that you mention it I find Riddick and give it a watch.

[commodious spittoon]

Riddick is a back-to-basics reboot. Absurdly scenic and well-imagined, very much in the same vein as Pitch Black but inventive enough to keep you entertained. And to be honest, of the two, I like the supporting actors better. Chronicles is action schlock. Not terrible, and maybe even enjoyable from what I can remember of it, but it's not cut out of the same cloth as the other two. It does establish the immediate setting for Riddick, and maybe more importantly the inevitable sequel.

[commodious spittoon]

I started rewatching Chronicles, and it's pretty crap, actually. But Riddick is quite good.

[commodious spittoon]

Hahah, Dame Judy Dench is a character. Shit, I'd forgotten that.

[commodious spittoon]

Yeah, this is shit. The important thing to know is that, by the end of it, Riddick is left in charge of a huge spacefaring militarist cult called the Necromongers, but none of that is really central to the latter movie.

[commodious spittoon]

So, the second act is what I remembered about it, and it's not altogether terrible. Unsure what the third act has in store.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Vin Diesel is a huge D&D nerd. UUUUUGE.

Chronicles of Riddick was loosely based on his D&D character, hence all the gonzo fantasy shit introduced in that movie and making him this warrior of the universe. While his new movie threw out any loose connections and is a straight up expansion of his D&D character.

[The Libertarian Scientist]

Obviously:
Rand Skywalker
Obi Ron Paulnobi
Tedge Cruztilles
Hanna Solorina

Emperor Hillarine
Trump Vader
Christie the Hutt
Jebba Fett
Grand Moff Sanders
Admiral Lindsey (the guy who gets choked to death by Darth Vader)

[Michael]

I realize that everyone is super excited about the new trailer, but you really picked the wrong franchise for comparison.

Bernie Sanders is a tribble.

[Horologium]

No, Bernie Sanders is Cyrano Jones. Bernie Sanders' FOLLOWERS are tribbles, which multiply uncontrollably.

[Rich M]

I always thought of Trump more as Chewbacca - makes a lot of noise but doesn't really say anything.

Rand Paul would be Han Solo - likes to buck the system and do things his own way.

Chris Christie would have to be Jabba the Hutt - an evil douchebag who, although he hasn't put a bounty on anyone's head (that we know of), did punish his enemies with lane closures.

Hilary Clinton is Empiror Palpitine - if you thought Bush and/or Obama were "Imperial Presidents", you ain't seen nothing yet!

[morganovich]

rand paul also strikes me as a guy who would jettison his cargo at the first sign of imperial cruisers.

i would not trust him to maker a record kessel run though. too much of a puss.

[morganovich]

donald trump is closer to being an inexplicably popular jar jar.

christie is jabba the hut.

valerie jarrett is the emperor.

[Vader]

Obviously, Palpatine most resembles Palpatine.

Or maybe not. Hollywood has not been particularly unbiased in its reporting of His Majesty's career.

[Chocolate Starfish ( . )]

Gotta go with Hillary as Jabba
http://genius.com/4006158
sorry morganovich her ass is bigger thna Christie's.

[BillEverman]

Jim Webb is/was Boba Fett; everybody was all excited because he had a mysterious backstory, and cool rocket backpack and he killed people and...he's gone.

[moschinoonline]

He was fairly respectful. He did referene one of his Hot Air articles about how some guy released from prison shot a cop in the head during the drug war discussion. Not relevant but I'm sure he thought it was. Nick did a nice job. Nothing really new with the exception of a little bio info which was cool.

moschino mcdonalds

[Agammamon]

Personally I think Ep 4-6 still hold up today as serious entertainment. Especially ESB. Jedi is a low point there, sure - but its a low point in a very good trilogy.

Ep 1-2 blew completely. Ep3 was decent, not on par with 4-6 though.

IMO, 1-2 should have been cut down into about 30-45 minutes and spliced into 3. Three is good because you *finally* get an exploration of the circumstances and motivations for Skywalker becoming Vader. The other two - they're just a long, excessively drawn out, prologue.

But, really, 1-3 should never have been made. There are only a tiny, tiny, handful of directors that can come back to a project after 16 years and move it forward. Speilberg sure as shit couldn't.

[MacDaddy81]

Spielberg never directed a Star Wars film. Did he?

[Harold Falcon]

There's a lot of talk he ghost-directed A New Hope.