Feds Wrong About Breakfast, State of Emergency in Ferguson, New Star Wars Trailer: P.M. Links

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  • Why didn't anybody tell me that chocolate-covered strawberries are part of a balanced, nutritious breakfast?
    Credit: ninacoco / photo on flickr

    Today in "The government shouldn't be telling us how to eat": The belief that skipping breakfast causes people to gain weight, something in federal dietary guidelines, may be a bunch of hooey.

  • A new state of emergency has been declared in Freguson, Missouri, over unrest there.
  • Those Virginia alcohol agents who were involved in the bloody arrest of college student Martese Johnson outside a bar are back on the job. The Alcohol Beverage Control Department said the agents did nothing wrong.
  • Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) and former Republican Florida Gov. Jeb Bush did not have kind responses to Hillary Clinton's college funding proposal, calling it a tax hike.
  • How far are the other Republican candidates for president distancing themselves from Donald Trump?
  • Democratic Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen Kane will publicly discuss the criminal charges against her (leaking grand jury information) at a press conference Wednesday.
  • Ever wonder what the Star Wars logo looks like in Korean? Turns out they released a new trailer for the upcoming movie overseas.

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  1. A new state of emergency has been declared in Freguson, Missouri, over unrest there.

    Second worst sequel of the summer.

    1. Hello.

    2. Now the unrest has hit Freguson, too? Not enough it rampaged through Ferguson, no. Gotta hit Freguson, too.

      Damned Missouriganders!!!

      *shakes Fist….realize what I’m doing….shakes own fist*

    1. Unfortunately, in huge sections of the planet the primary difference between moderate Muslims and radical Muslims is the difference between imprisonment or extra-judicial decapitation. They have a disturbing tendency to throw people in jail in supposedly ‘moderate’ Islamic countries like Indonesia for ‘crimes’ like blasphemy and apostasy.

      And that’s when they’re not beating gay people with canes like they do in Aceh province.

      Note to self: Next time I’m searching about gay caning, make sure to specify that I’m talking about ‘Indonesian gay caning’ because just typing ‘gay caning’ into Google gives some odd and colorful results.

      1. colorful results

        I see what you did there.

      2. Well, at least they’re not as bad as Christians. Do you know what Christians do in Dogdick, GA? Buttplug is afraid to even leave his house.

        We have to stop the teahadist Christians first.

        1. One word: Crusades.

          *BOOM* mic drop

          1. Are those still going on? Darn, that explains it.

            1. I killed two infidels just this morning! The Pope gave me $500 per head!

  2. Democratic Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen Kane will publicly discuss the criminal charges against her…

    Spoiler alert: She will be the victim.

    1. Aren’t spoilers meant to surprise? It’ll be more surprising if she doesn’t employ that overused tactic and actually accepts responsibility.

    2. Who is Kathleen Kane again? I’m losing track of all the scumbags.

      1. Isn’t that a hockey player for the Blackhawks who is in trouble for some mysterious incident with a 20 yr old woman in buffalo?

  3. The Alcohol Beverage Control Department said the agents did nothing wrong.

    First rule of lying. Never, ever back down from your claim, no matter how outrageous.

    1. I Didn’t Do It, Nobody Saw Me Do It, There’s No Way You Can Prove Anything!

      1. Taken Out Of Context! Contractual Due Process!

    2. Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter-accusations.

  4. HuffPo is trashing its own brand?in Arabic, at least:

    An Algerian columnist recently warned of a growing trend that could bring Islamic civilization crashing down: the selfie. More young Muslims are taking selfies, he noted, a symptom of “the diseases and the viruses of the Western world” making their way into Arab lands.

    “I consider my article as an open letter to all the Islamic Ummah’s youth,” the piece said, excluding the approximately 1 in 10 Arabs who are not Muslim in the process. “It is a call to stop adopting such sick behaviors that come to destroy our traditions and the basics of human cultural identity.”

      1. That’s definitely haram.

    1. sick behaviors that come to destroy our traditions and the basics of human cultural identity

      But enough about Epi

    2. It is a call to stop adopting such sick behaviors that come to destroy our traditions and the basics of human cultural identity.

      Better not search “arab selfies” on xhamster then.

    3. Is it OK if I photograph myself decapitating a gay man or stoning my daughter to death?

      1. Well, did the prophet tell you to do that? Huh, infidel?

      2. No. Because all images of the human form are haram

        Jeez. Do I have to explain everything to you?

        1. Shit. I thought that haram was when I have lots of extra women stashed away in case I get bored. I always thought of the word as being a positive thing. Now you gone and ruined it for me.

    4. Does he explain for the benefit of the rest of us how this is sick and a destroyer of traditions?

      Or is this one of those things that because bronze-age nomads didn’t have no digicams that it’s inherently bad?

      1. The more I listen to the left and the radical Islamists, the more I see how they could sort of join forces.

      2. How is it with thee, Lawrence? Am I in this?

        Did you take his picture?

        Yeah.

        [smashes camera] You are using up your nine lives very quickly.

        Charming company you keep.

        Auda? He’s a bit old-fashioned. He thinks these things will steal his virtue. He thinks you’re a kind of thief.

      3. Cameras steal your soul, infidel.

    5. It is a call to stop adopting such sick behaviors that come to destroy our traditions and the basics of human cultural identity.

      Uhmmmmmm….. Who’s doing what now?

    6. It is a call to stop adopting such sick behaviors that come to destroy our traditions and the basics of human cultural identity.

      Like marrying your 11-year-old cousin.

      1. And beheading people in public. In his defense, he may not be the jihadist type, but this quote diseases and the viruses of the Western world is kind of damning.

      2. And beheading people in public. In his defense, he may not be the jihadist type, but this quote diseases and the viruses of the Western world is kind of damning.

        1. Squirrelz are a Western Plague upon the Ummah!

    7. Photographs steal your soul!!!

  5. The Alcohol Beverage Control Department said the agents did nothing wrong.

    Having a badge means never having to say you’re sorry.

    1. The monopoly on force helps a little.

  6. It’s class war vs. race war yet again:

    Why has Coates fixated (if that is not too strong a word) on this quotation in particular, as if there were not a hundred other racist Calhoun quotes to choose from? Perhaps because it shows Calhoun trying to substitute race for class, and that is precisely Coates’s own game.

    1. Aren’t all nations problems? Aren’t all families? Aren’t all people?

      Likely the fight was always muddy and dizzying. Likely nothing was ever clean.

      We don’t always get to choose the means through which we acquire knowledge. Ignorance is not a weapon.

      And this is why I hate Ta Nahesi Coates. Everything he writes is so abstruse that he never actually seems to say anything. He’s the great pseudo-intellectual of our time – a man who writes a great deal of words without ever coming to a valuable conclusion.

      1. I will give him this, he’s a better and less irritating writer than ESB, but his eyes aren’t as pretty so I find him less intriguing.

        1. I will give him this, he’s a better and less irritating writer than ESB,

          That’s not very hard.

          1. Depends. To what are we referring?

        2. Are all of his teeth alive?

        3. Are all of his teeth alive?

      2. A lot of heat and much less light.

      3. But.

        He wears a hat.

      4. He has a conclusion and it involves reparations. It’s his justifications that suck.

        1. It’s not really a conclusion though, since a conclusion has to involve some sort of progress towards the conclusion. It’s a vague desire and he then invents a bunch of weird justifications that make no sense, as the linked article makes clear.

          My favorite part is his claim that white people benefit by ‘exploiting’ black people. If that were the case, then why would welfare exist? Moreover, why would there be such high rates of black unemployment? Surely if the goal was exploitation, lots of unemployed African Americans is the exact opposite of what we want, since we end up giving them welfare payments while not gaining any goods from their supposed ‘exploitation.’

          White people gain absolutely nothing from black people being poor. Everyone would be better off if black people were better educated, richer, more successful, and were contributing more to the American economy. There is no reason white people should want to keep blacks poor since that actually harms us too.

          1. Your observation is pedantic but I’ll agree.

          2. Logic privilege.

          3. You’re not being nearly creative enough, dude. White people gain all kinds of shit from black people being on welfare, like feeling like white saviors at the expense of black dignity.

            1. feeling like white saviors at the expense of black dignity

              Only when it’s not their own money

            2. We have a specific name for those people: Liberals.

          4. Did any of you consider if it’s even OK for you to comment about Coates?

            1. Holy crap. I’m so sorry.

            2. It is not okay for any of them to comment about Coates, and I deem this entire thread as Racist (that’s right, capitalized).

          5. Ta Nahesi Coates’s inability to write a proper conclusion, while SEEMING like he’s writing a proper conclusion is among the reasons why I think that the rumors of late that he’s going start writing comics for Marvel just might work. He writes words pretty, he already does work that focuses on simulacrums of “justice,” and the guy does actually to be a nerd when not complaining about race if you look at his Twitter (although he’s good also bitching about race and social justice in comics, because the hot new thing for folks to do). Given the sales of that one issue of Spider-man back when Obama got elected wherein the President-elect appeared, they obviously need to find a writer like Coates to script THE AMAZING OBAMA-MAN as he fights for social justice in Ferguson and beyond…

            1. “inability to write a proper conclusion”

              The new Chris Claremont?

      5. a man who writes a great deal of words without ever coming to a valuable conclusion.

        Well, at least he always knows then that if he needs it, a job will be waiting for him at Salon or New Republic.

      6. in his defense, there’s no evidence that he can think clearly enough to avoid it. He’s a twit.

    2. I believe that I am too ensconced in my white privilege to read Coates, but I assume anyone who disagrees with him is racist.

      1. This sentence is racist…just because.

    3. You were almost five years old. The theater was crowded, and when we came out we rode a set of escalators down to the ground floor. As we came off, you were moving at the dawdling speed of a small child. A white woman pushed you and said, “Come on!” Many things now happened at once. There was the reaction of any parent when a stranger lays a hand on the body of his or her child. And there was my own insecurity in my ability to protect your black body. And more: There was my sense that this woman was pulling rank. I knew, for instance, that she would not have pushed a black child out on my part of Flatbush, because she would be afraid there and would sense, if not know, that there would be a penalty for such an action. But I was not out on my part of Flatbush.? I turned and spoke to this woman, and my words were hot with all of the moment and all of my history. She shrunk back, shocked.

      Well, it’s official: I also hate Ta-Nehisi Coates now. I was mostly ambivalent before, but fuck this guy.

      1. I like that everything in the universe is racial to Coates. Nothing is not related to race.

      2. Wow, what a cunt.

    4. “It’s class war vs. race war yet again”

      “Awww… can’t we have both!?”

      /progressive spoiled brat

  7. How much of a loser was Pat Quinn? So much of a loser that even in Illinois, even with a rigged ballot question, he couldn’t get reelected.

    Madigan said:

    “Now let me just explain this: there was an advisory question on the ballot in November of 2014 concerning the minimum wage. And the thinking was that if somebody came to vote for the advisory question on the minimum wage, their political thinking would be such that they would vote for Gov. Quinn. Well, there were 650,000 Illinoisans who found their way to vote for the advisory question on the minimum wage, but couldn’t find their way to vote for Gov. Quinn. And that’s where I would say that Quinn lost the election, not Rauner won.”

    1. They only get away with cheating when it’s close. There are only so many boxes of ‘misplaced and uncounted’ ballot boxes they can ‘find’ before it strains credulity.

    2. Unpossible. I was assured in the aftermath of the 2000 election that a voter who would support candidates and positions that leaned one way by definition would vote the same way for the executive. The science was settled 15 years ago.

    3. And he sucked with the Maple Leafs [sic] too.

      1. nice

        #GoWings

      2. I’m sending this comment to Don Cherry.

        1. “Now I’m not knockin’ the Russians, but….”

          /Don Cherry

  8. “The belief that skipping breakfast causes people to gain weight, something in federal dietary guidelines, may be a bunch of hooey.”

    You can pry the black forest bacon from my cold, dead hands

    1. “You can pry the black forest bacon from my cold, dead hands”, not from my hands you can’t.

    2. Why is bacon only OK for breakfast? Eat it whenever you feel like!

      1. I just like it at breakfast time the most because I’ve gone all night without bacon.

        1. I prefer it late at night when I’m high. Can’t get much better than that…

    3. I don’t know about that, but it definitely causes me a big time dearth of energy around 10am if I skip breakfast.

    4. The original study was talking about a real breakfast–eggs, sausage gravy and biscuits, grits, sausage, bacon–not cereal or oatmeal.

      1. All these things are the food stuffs of chronic masturbaters! Kellogg’s Corn Flakes is the only wholesome breakfast.

        1. You can do a lot with bacon grease.

          1. If you have a real popcorn popper, try making popcorn with it. I did once and it was pretty darn good…

          2. I cooked steak with it last night.

        2. I’m talking about science, not hokey religions.

  9. The belief that skipping breakfast causes people to gain weight, something in federal dietary guidelines, may be a bunch of hooey.

    Especially if it’s the Skip’s Scramble.

    1. Don’t order the Skip’s Scramble.

  10. Today in Accompilshed Female Athletes of Eastern and Central Europe, I give you Olympic Gold and European Silver (twice) medal winner in Taekwondo,

    Milica Mandic (from Serbia).

    To give you heads-up right now, there are no swimsuit shots!

    1. I had a classmate from Serbia named Milica. It’s pronounced ‘Militza’. I appreciate your series, BTW. Sometimes in my spare time I peruse that part of the world’s… video offerings.

    2. To give you heads-up right now, there are no swimsuit shots!

      Lesbian?

      1. Well, she has a boyfriend but I suspect, prudish. At least from skimming her interview, that’s the impression I guess.

  11. Fun language trivia

    The Swahili word for “temple” or “shrine” is hekalu. It is derived from an Arabic word that means the same. That word is derived ultimately from the Sumerian word egal, which means temple. It literally means “big house”. E means house; gal means big. The word for king is lugal, which literally means “big man.” I presume this is the result of one of Warty’s sojourns through time. Interesting how a word can stay in use and change so little in 5,000 years.

    1. And I will pray to a Big God
      As I kneel in my Big Church!

      1. The Swahili word for prison is gereza. It is derived from the Portuguese word for church.

        Back when Portugal maintained forts in east Africa, they would build a church and a prison inside every fort. So that’s how the words got associated.

        BTW

        Be it known throughout the realm that on this day, Swiss Servator is hereby granted the title of Knight of the Derp Table, in recognition for his courage and sacrifice in donating a kidney. He is the 2nd person in the history of the world to be so honored.

        All hail Swiss Servator, Protector of the Realm!

        Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjDaPOWdx6s

        1. A great honor! (Do I have to howl like a wookie?)

          Who, my liege, is the other Knight of the Derp Table?

          1. PapayaSF. He found an article that had some quality derp.

            http://english.pravda.ru/russi…..urprise-0/

            I really ought to have more consistent criteria for this award. Oh well. You were in the military so I figured this sort of thing wouldn’t bother you.

            1. I’ll find room on my Dress Blues…

              First the IowaHawk Legion of Dumb, now a Knight of the Derp Table! I have made it!

  12. Christ Shackford.

    To reiterate:

    At 8:30 in the morning for four weeks, one group of subjects got oatmeal, another got frosted corn flakes and a third got nothing. And the only group to lose weight was … the group that skipped breakfast.

    1. At 8:30 in the morning for four weeks, one group of subjects got oatmeal, another got frosted corn flakes and a third got nothing. And the only group to lose weight was … the group that skipped breakfast.

      Inequality just makes me sick. It’s so… unequal.

  13. On a personal note, breakfast is my favorite meal of the day, but I don’t believe chocolate should be any part of breakfast.

    1. Agreed

    2. You are more than wrong. You are incredibly wrong.

      Chocolate should be a part of breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacktime, brunch, second breakfast, elevenses, and any other time you eat.

      1. Unless you start breakfast with a glass of whisky.

          1. …and cigars. Before turning to champagne around noon. But only someone surnamed Churchill can really pull this off.

      2. I enjoy chocolate, except dark chocolate, except when that’s paired with mint, but chocolate shouldn’t be anywhere near the breakfast table. Not even in pastries, which are a large part of why I like breakfast. But with syrup-draped waffles, pancakes and French toast, and the aforementioned pastries, there is plenty sweet you can have for breakfast. There is no need to include chocolate.

        1. I enjoy chocolate, except dark chocolate

          The fuck?

          1. Translation: He doesn’t like chocolate.

            He likes chocolate flavored sweetened milk products.

          2. The fuck?

            +1

            1. 1 glass port + 1 bar dark chocolate = Terrestrial Paradise

        2. I just can’t with you and your racist self right now

        3. I enjoy chocolate, except dark chocolate

          Let me guess, you like licorice, except black licorice?

          1. And his coffee sweet and white.

          2. And his coffee sweet and white.

          3. Where the hell did all these dark chocolate-loving phreaks come from?

            Yeesh…

      3. “Chocolate should be a part of breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacktime, brunch, second breakfast, elevenses, and any other time you eat.”

        And keep a bottle of chocolate syrup next to the bed.

  14. The belief that skipping breakfast causes people to gain weight…

    God, I hate this! I don’t like most ‘approved’ breakfast foods and have no appetite in the morning, but through the years I’ve choked down breakfast under the mistaken belief it was ‘healthier’ than waiting until lunch when I’m, you know, actually hungry.

    Seriously, I’m done with listening to other people’s opinions because most people just talk out their asses and don’t know shit!

    1. My understanding (which this study doesn’t address) is that having some form of breakfast serves to avoid the metabolic penalties that come with fasting. Then you try and compensate by eating more during lunch because you’ve practically crashed at 11:30am.

      Of course, the 800lb gorilla in the room is that it doesn’t matter when you eat if you’re eating 2500 calories and sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day. If the difference in your metabolism is from naturally burning 1700cal sedentary to 1800cal sedentary, eating a 250cal breakfast puts you on the losing side of the equation.

      I would love to see this study replicated with people who have an hour-a-day exercise routine. I bet the metabolic changes would begin to outpace a healthy breakfast

      1. Bottom line: there is no one-size-fits-all solution in spite of the goverment’s attempt to impose one. Just because eating a certain way works for one person doesn’t mean it’ll work for everyone. We’re all unique and need to discover what works for us and stop listening to self-professed ‘experts.’

        1. Just because eating a certain way works for one person doesn’t mean it’ll work for everyone.

          Not only that, but just because eating a certain way works for you at a certain time doesn’t mean it’ll work the same when you try it again later.

        2. Sure there is. It’s called the Conservation of Energy and it works everywhere, including your diet.

    2. Sometimes I’m not hungry in the morning, sometimes I am. But even if I’m not, I force myself to eat.

      1. That’s because you’ve been brainwashed, sucker!

        1. Nah, it’s because I don’t like feeling tired and starved around 10am.

          1. That’s why I usually keep a bag of nuts or dried fruit at my desk on the rare occasion I get hungry before lunch. And I’m lucky my job isn’t physically demanding or else breakfast would be a must.

            1. My job is just mentally demanding, but that seems worse to me. A crash like that at 10am probably means that I won’t recover and be really productive again until 2-3pm. Lots of wasted hours.

              1. Sounds like my last 6 weeks.

    3. Seriously, I’m done with listening to other people’s opinions because most people just talk out their asses and don’t know shit!

      Buried the lede, IMO:

      S. Stanley Young, former director of bioinformatics at the National Institute of Statistical Sciences has estimated that for observational studies in the medical field, “over 90 percent of the claims fail to replicate” ? that is they cannot be replicated later by more exacting experiments.

      #IFLS

      1. It’s taken most of my life, but I finally realize this. Seriously, from this point forward I’m doing the polar opposite of whatever ‘they’ say I should do. Had I done that all along I’d be a happier and healthier person today.

    4. I don’t like most ‘approved’ breakfast foods and have no appetite in the morning,

      Thank god someone else on here is normal!

      1. Is that sarcasm? Because I’ve never met anyone else whose opinion and attitude about breakfast aligned with my own. My girlfriend insists I’m an alien…

        1. Thirded. Most breakfast foods are horrible. All I want is a cigarette and a can of Mountain Dew.

          1. Actually, some breakfast foods can be pretty tasty–just not when I first wake up! But I guess that’s a US thing since I enjoyed the types of breakfasts they served when I’ve visited Europe and Russia.

        2. Nah. I’m often not hungry in the morning and usually just ‘snack’ throughout the day.

  15. Well, I’m off to lunch.

    On a related note, my local Habit (hamburger joint) closed and reopened as a Chipotle.

    Can I get a moment of silence? Er, 4 and a half minutes of silence?

    1. I’m going with a moment of evil laughter, actually.

      1. I still came out ahead. I just went off-menu at the golden arches.

              1. That is actually an interesting variation…I tried it because all the kids were doing it, and I wanted to see what the fuss was about.

                1. I heard they serve it at rainbow parties.

          1. It’s going to blow your mind.

            WAIT FOR IT:

            Bacon Jalape?o McDouble

    2. No.

    1. Holy shit I had that record!

      1. Meco did disco versions of a number of movie themes..

        Disco Wizard of Oz, or Disco Close Encounters of the Third Kind

  16. Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) and former Republican Florida Gov. Jeb Bush did not have kind responses to Hillary Clinton’s college funding proposal, calling it a tax hike.

    Republicans want to make college more expensive, especially for women and minorities, just to give more money to big business and the Koch brothers.

    1. Republicans want to make breakfast more expensive, especially for women and minorities, just to give more bacon to big business and the Koch brothers.

      1. I really am going to have to buy more bacon tomorrow after this thread

  17. “At 8:30 in the morning for four weeks, one group of subjects got oatmeal, another got frosted corn flakes and a third got nothing. ”

    So none of them got breakfast

    1. If there isn’t at least one pork product (preferably like 3), it’s not fucking breakfast.

      1. Frosted corn flakes are the donuts of cereal. It actually makes you hungrier. Oatmeal isn’t much better, especially because most people sweeten it.

        1. Plain, steel cut oatmeal makes for a hearty meal that sticks to your ribs. Seriously.

          1. Plain, steel cut oatmeal makes for a hearty meal that sticks to your ribs. Seriously.

            Steel cut oats cooked in whole milk. It’s like concrete that you can digest.

            1. Steel cut oatmeal takes a long time to make, but Trader Joe’s sells a great microwavable version (only about 100 calories and high in fiber) that cooks in less than 3 minutes. If you haven’t tried it, you should.

    2. So none of them got breakfast

      This. Breakfast is eggs and sauteed vegetables and meat. MAYBE some steel-cut oatmeal with a lot of butter in it if you’re a degenerate.

  18. File Under = “If only all police work were this easy

    “A 20-year-old man posted an Instagram video claiming he’s “going to shoot someone on the 1-2-2” Monday ? and then went out and shot a man near 122nd Street, prosecutors said.”

    About 4 p.m. Monday, Steele opened fire at a group of people in the 12200 block of South Normal Avenue ? hitting one man in his heel, thigh and just below his eyebrow, Scaduto said.

    Steele ran off, and got shot in his ankle about 10 minutes later in a completely unrelated shooting, prosecutors said.

    …Prosecutors said the victim didn’t know Steele”

    1. Steele ran off, and got shot in his ankle about 10 minutes later in a completely unrelated shooting, prosecutors said.

      That’s interesting. If it’s part of the same spree how is it unrelated? Is the author indicating that he was minding his own business somewhere else and got struck by a stray bullet?

      1. Its Chicago. You just get shot at a lot.

        1. That can’t be true. They have common sense gun laws in Chicago.

          1. Methinks people are still behind the times on the reality of Chicago gun laws.

            1. Yes Nikki, keep telling yourself everyone else is behind the times when it comes to gun ownership.

              1. Um, I’m suggesting that the “commonsense gun laws” Free Society thinks exist in Chicago probably don’t anymore.

                1. What do I think exists in Chicago Nikki?

                  1. “Common sense gun laws,” according to your comment, which is commonly a euphemism for something other than no registration and shall-issue carry permits.

                    1. “Common sense gun laws,” according to your comment, which is commonly a euphemism for something other than no registration and shall-issue carry permits.

                      Might also be assault weapons ban? Or whatever else remains on the books, you can peruse with that link. Thanks for another ironically inept round of ‘Gotcha’.

                    2. It’s not “gotcha” at all.

                      Someone makes a comment like yours routinely, as if we haven’t celebrated in this very blog the victories in Heller and MacDonald, which were real and meaningful. U.S. gun rights are in an unquestionably better position because of them, and the set of laws controlling Chicago — and all of Illinois — are completely different than they were less than ten years ago.

                      I don’t know why everyone wants to pretend they don’t know this, just to play fucking GEOGRAPHY WAR. It’s really boring.

                    3. It’s not “gotcha” at all.

                      Grade him on a curve, Nikki. Remember that he’s very stupid.

                      just to play fucking GEOGRAPHY WAR.

                      Remember. Stupid.

                2. Nikki, you dumb cunt. Big cities are for faggots, and faggots hate guns. I can’t believe what a dumb cunt you are.

                  1. Nikki, you dumb cunt. Big cities are for faggots, and faggots hate guns. I can’t believe what a dumb cunt you are.

                    Team Troll, together again. Though I suspect you and Nikki are the same petulant little person since you manage to follow each other around the threads quite often and pick petty little fights together.

                    1. Nope. I know both of them in real life.

                      You’d only want to see one of them naked, though. Guess which one. Go on, guess.

                    2. No offense, dude, but I wouldn’t want to see you naked either. Now your kids, on the other hand…

                    3. Nobody want’s to see the Doomcock up close and personal so I’ma go with Nikki.

                    4. Lighten up, Francis.

                  2. Newsletter: Can I get on the list?

    2. “just below his eyebrow”

      Also know as the eye.

      1. The dick is below the eyebrow as well. Come to think of it, most of your body is.

  19. Spot the Not: what you see is what you get

    1. Snakes On a Plane

    2. Cowboys and Aliens

    3. The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies

    4. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

    5. Killer Klowns from Outer Space

    6. Cannibal Women in the Coconut Jungle of Death

    1. I’ll take 6. I know almost all the others (the long #3 i think is too akward to be fake)

      1. Yeah 3 is real. Must be 6

      2. Agreed … 6

      3. #3 is is my top 5 MST3K episodes of all time. It’s real.

    2. Way too Easy: 6

    3. Is it wrong that I’ve seen most of those?

      1. And I believe it’s 6

        1. What you said, both times.

    4. I know 1-5 are real, so that leaves

      6

    5. I know I’ve watched at least three of these films including #5.

      I’ll guess 6.

      1. Best soundtrack ever

    6. You’re losing your touch, Derpy Hooves. This one’s too easy. #6.

    7. Damn, too easy. I changed one word for 6- coconut from avocado.

      I found Snakes on a Plane to be more enjoyable than Citizen Kane. I feel there is mash-up opportunity there.

      1. “Avocado” comes from the Nahuatl (Aztec) word for “testicle”, so it makes sense.

    8. Hate to admit it’s 6. Should be ‘Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death. I didn’t even have to look this up…:-(

  20. Good Day Orlando anchor walks off set, has a fit over too many Kardashian stories.

    1. He really needs to save that shit until they change the rabbit’s name and gender.

  21. I bet Shackford is anti-breakfast because he is trying to bang some chick who is also not in to breakfast. You can’t sneak that hullabaloo past me.

    1. Megyn Kelly hates breakfast?

    2. We’ve all played that game.

      Girl: I support feminism.
      Rufus: Me too!

      /looks around maniacally with a Mutley laugh.

      1. Girl: I’m big into castration.

        Rufus: Me, too!

    3. Seeing as how Shackford is gay, banging some chick is probably not his motive here.

      1. He’s sandbagging everyone. I think someone called it “the long con”…

      2. no, see, this is a new inside joke now.

      3. Yeah right. Next you gonna say Lou Reed is dead.

        GTFOH.

  22. Today in “The government shouldn’t be telling us how to eat”: The belief that skipping breakfast causes people to gain weight, something in federal dietary guidelines, may be a bunch of hooey.

    If you quit eating breakfast, and you don’t eat more during later meals to make up the calories, and you work out at least as much, you will lose weight.

    Basic physics.

    1. At this point, this just seems like flamebaiting.

      Just because a physicist sticks his finger up your ass doesn’t mean your prostate is fine.

      1. No, it’s just a good second date.

    2. Breakfast literally means “breaking the fast,” which is when you first eat after the prolonged fast of sleep. So if you skip breakfast and don’t eat until lunch, lunch is breakfast. In other words, breakfast is unavoidable unless you commit suicide by not eating.

    3. That’s just not how your body works. It does not extract all possible nutrition from food and retain every bit it is able.

  23. Florida = Sometime Murder Aint Just Murder – Sometimes, its Witchcraft Too

    “All three victims had their throats slit and were bludgeoned with what was believed to be a claw hammer, Morgan said, and Richard Thomas Smith, a Department of Homeland Security employee, was also shot in the head, perhaps to incapacitate him before the murders.

    “Initial research has led us to believe it was a ritualistic killing,” Morgan said. “The method of the murder … and our person of interest has some ties to a faith or religion that is indicative of that.”

    The crime appears to have been part of a witchcraft practice linked to the July 31 “blue moon,” a reference to the second of two full moons that appear in a calendar month, Morgan said.”

    Take that, True Detective Season One

    1. I read about that, but to the sheriff’s credit he said he didn’t want to defame any particular practice.

      btw, no link

      1. AHHH!! THE WITCHES BROKE MY LINK

  24. The newest libertarian says: Fuck off, slavers!

    1. Stop interrupting his fun.

      And congratulations

    2. So cute – congratulations!

    3. Congratulations!

    4. Is that number 2? boy or girl?

      1. Yes #2. 2nd boy.

        1. Nice. Congrats!

    5. Congrats!

      Also, my buddy’s wife over the weekend posted a picture of their new daughter on FB wearing a onesie that said “Feminist in Training.” Someone else wrote, “She’s got s pouty lip because of the pay gap between men and women.”

      I guess everyone starts them young…

      1. That reminds me of the rape whistle baby shower commercial
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o92M92omEH0

        Congrats Brett, btw

        1. Was I not supposed to laugh?

        2. What the fuck was that? Was it real, or a parody? I know it’s a serious issue, but geez…

        3. What? Are you supposed to blow it if you see a rape foul?

          1. TWEEEET. Number 37. Offsides. Unnecessary roughness. 500 foot penalty at all times. Second down.

            1. If it’s Brady, we might want to test his balls.

    6. Congrats!

    7. LOL Congrats!

    8. No, fuck you, kid!

      Congratulations!

    9. Dude – is he suckling in that pic?

    10. Excellent, visible areola. *masturbates*

    11. Congrats. Judging from the crud, he’s only a few minutes old!

    12. So you haven’t fucked up your DNA by hanging out here? Well done, amigo!

    13. You poor, dumb bastard. Congrats!

    14. Congrats! Must have been that in-womb training.

    15. Congratulations!

  25. Pancakes and waffles? That’s just wrong. It’s like mashed potatoes and mac and cheese on the same plate. No.

    1. It’s like mashed potatoes and mac and cheese on the same plate. No.

      As a kid (and i’ll confess to doing it as an adult once or twice), this was my go-to at Golden Corral. Mashed potatoes on one side of the plate, mac and cheese on the other. French fries for dipping.

    2. Whaaaaa-???? Why are those wrong together? I do that all the time!

      1. It’s carb loading and it will make you fat – eventually.

          1. Ha. Funny because that actor is the brother of a friend. I’ve met him a few times. Nice guy – my brush with the nearly famous.

            1. I’m envious. Andy Daly is arguably the funniest person on the planet.

          2. You’ll become a Browns fan?

            1. Browns fandom is highly correlated with obesity, it’s true.

              OBESITY: NOT EVEN ONCE

  26. An accurate description of Minnesota?

    As always, this is what Minnesotans deserve. It is the Soccer Mom state. Minnesota is one giant Toyota Sequoia with happy stick figures on the back windshield, cutting you off at every highway merge. People there only vote Democrat to appear sensitive and open-minded, despite having hearts blacker than Scrooge himself. If you are from Iowa, you are treated like an undocumented immigrant if you walk into Minnesota. This state in a frozen, undead wasteland, and yet people there regard the rest of the world with complete and utter disdain. It’s never made sense to me, and it never will. It is a hateful place, full of Stepford wives and mute husbands. You’ll find more personality in a crate of pickled fish.

    Of course, I need to correct:

    People there only vote Democrat to appear sensitive and open-minded, despite having hearts blacker than Scrooge himself.

    1. Haven’t been to Minnesota yet, but this sounds exactly like my experience when I attempted to move to Maine. I only lasted a week before I had to return to the friendly, welcoming people who inhabit California. People in New Hampshire were nice, though…

      1. People in New Hampshire were nice, though…

        Therefore, we have never met.

      2. People in New Hampshire were nice, though

        Were you really in New Hampshire? Were those people really from New Hampshire or were they just living there?

  27. I have a question: how come libertarian urbanites have been unable to win municipal office in the big cities? The libertarian moment is upon us, and the millenials Reason loves are urbanites and in many of those big cities the Republicans are practically non-existent and the Democrats suck. So how come they haven’t been able to take advantage of the political vacuum? Are Detroit and Chicago libertarians too close to racists and socons?

    1. Probably cause the LP doesn’t put up people for a lot of local elections.

      1. Ha!

        However this does emphasis how weak libertarian urbanites are even in the areas that libertarians claim they are the strongest at.

    2. Minorities (especially inner-city) vote largely as a block and largely on identity-type politics. It amazes me that the D’s are able to continue to convince them that D is good for minorities when that’s so obviously false…. But they do….

    3. Machine Politics. Duh

      1. The only way to defeat the Dem Machine to emphasis how much they love Weed, Mexicans and Ass-Sex.

        1. Maybe you don’t understand.

          Machine Politics is about patronage. Money. Handouts. Controlling all the municipal jobs and making sure “your people” get put in charge of every new project, and every institution that hires people in your district.

          Its not about superficial political beliefs, its about raw muscle and money.

          1. You sarcasm meter needs to be recalibrated.

            I was making a crack about how Reason goes on about the libertarian moment and social tolerance yet they are totally unable to defeat those machine politics. There is a bit more to it than not being a socon. And that getting rid of free shit is going to upset people on the dole.

        2. Also = hipsters are irrelevant to urban politics.

          1. Dammit, I thought they were the key!/ Nick Gillespie

    4. Because the big cities are filled with poorly educated people who fall for the ‘I’ll give you free shit’ routine over and over.

      Libertarians, as a voting block, are hugely outnumbered in the cities – which trend liberal.

      Unfortunately, while we’re a larger minority outside the cities where, you know, you have to work for a living, the conservatives are the majority – and while a huge chunk of those people lean (l)ibertarian, most of them have no idea that we exist so they vote R.

      1. While there are a lot of conservatives who lean libertarian, hell a lot of them might even be libertarian, but like you said, they don’t even know we exist, there are some real issues I run into when talking to them about politics. Most of them wholly support:

        1. The drug war

        2. The police state

        3. Foreign wars

        I’ve found it fairly difficult to convince most of them why they are wrong on those issues. Although, they are usually polite and will listen, unlike most liberals who will either go ape shit or just refuse any debate.

        1. Generally their illibertarian views are driven by fear. I get the best results when either 1) showing them how their fear results in the same or similar policies to Progressives; and 2) showing them that their fear is unfounded/misplaced.

          Drugs are scary to them because little Johnny is going to do drugs at school and coked up potheads are going to break into our house and kill us at night.

          Police are good because their suburban police generally ARE good, cops tend to go after those coked up potheads and leave us well intentioned suburbanites alone and laws are made to be followed

          Wars are good because there are evil people out to get us, we either engage them there or they come here, and american exceptionalism (aka murica, fuck yeah!)

          If you engage them on their own premises, they respond very well.

    5. They really aren’t into libertarianism. Hipsters or urbanites or whatever want gay marriage, and they want to smoke pot, and get the money out of politics, and stop the Christian theocracy. Some of that may sound vaguely libertarian, but they think gay marriage is a right, pot should be taxed to maybe pay for healthcare (but ban cigarettes), along with taxing the 1%, and more public accommodation laws.

      You also have the poor who think if we could get drugs off our streets and more programs to help the poor and maybe think WWJD and of course tax the rich then we will make America strong again.

      Neither urban group has much in common, except they typically vote democrat, and have virtually nothing in common with libertarian thinking.

      I’m sure you know that, I’m not sure why so many reason writers don’t.

    6. It’s hard to wake up before the polls close.

  28. “Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) and former Republican Florida Gov. Jeb Bush did not have kind responses to Hillary Clinton’s college funding proposal, calling it a tax hike.”

    Shame on them for pointing out the obvious!

  29. There is a new sci-fi comedy cartoon series called Rick and Morty. I like it for the most part, although the writers try to sneak in lefty propaganda here and there. For example:

    There is an episode where the bumbling dad gets transported to Pluto, and the aliens there hail him as a hero because he says Pluto is a planet. However, in the series, greedy alien businessmen are hollowing out the planet by mining and causing it to shrink. So I guess the human who says Pluto is a planet is supposed to be a parable for so-called climate change deniers.

    There is another episode where the family dog is given superior intelligence and takes over the world, making humans pets. After seeing a human struggle with illness, the dog decides to leave for a planet where pet insurance is mandatory. Obamacare parable?

    And last night, the episode was about a hive mind that assimilated people like the Borg or the Body Snatchers. In the show, it was revealed that some of the victims had been scum bags before being absorbed and transformed into productive citizens and that the assimilation brought world peace to the alien planet. There was a strong hint that benevolent tyranny is better than messy freedom. A parable for forced tolerance?

    Maybe I read too much into these things. It’d be nice if they poked fun at Team Blue once in a while.

    1. It’d be nice if they poked fun at Team Blue once in a while.

      That involves actual thought processes and is not simple enough for a cartoon. Cartoons are all about the feelings (usually) and that goes well with a left viewpoint.

    2. Maybe I read too much into these things.

      Perhaps, but knowing how prog the entertainment industry is and how much they think that being socially aware (read: Democratic Propaganda) is good, we very well may be not be.

    3. You may be reading too much into these things – or maybe not. In any case, these stories sound way more complex and interesting (even if frustratingly wrong) than anything produced during the Animation Dark Age.

    4. However, in the series, greedy alien businessmen are hollowing out the planet by mining and causing it to shrink

      Some variation on that theme has been part of almost every movie out of Hollywood for the past couple decades.

      Now, every time I watch a movie, I just sit waiting and thinking ‘where’s the lefty agenda, I know it’s coming’. It’s nearly ruined watching movies for me.

  30. Can The US Win A Space War?

    Hillary Clinton remains silent on this key planetary-security issue.

    ALMANIAN 2016 – HE WILL FUCK ALIENS UP OLD SCHOOL

    1. This is why I co-op…..hired you.

      You are doing the Lord’s work, GILMORE.

      1. You have almost 2 votes now. God damn Citizens United!

  31. Looks like San Diego is ready to over-charge their taxpayers:

    The proposed financing plan requires city and county taxpayers to cover 32 percent of an estimated $1.1 billion in stadium construction costs, with the Chargers, the NFL and revenue from personal seat licenses covering the other 68 percent.

    1. What a joke. The Chargers weren’t going to leave. The NFL has created this “vacuum” in LA just so that other teams can threaten to leave and extract concessions from their local politicians.

      1. The Raiders are probably going to LA, but they’re the Raiders.

        The Rams and Chargers have prettly clearly been using LA to get more $$$ out of local taxpayers.

        1. That explains the most recent Ferguson conflagration.

  32. Spot the Not: wacky causes

    1. The Simplified Spelling Society- they protest spelling bees

    2. The Flat Earth Society

    3. The North American Man Boy Love Association

    4. The Fart Retrieval League

    5. The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement

    6. The Animal Liberation Front

    Derpetologist is a Senior Fellow at the Dipshit Doodlebug Institute, Chair of the Derpetology Department at St Windowlicker University, Chancellor of the Royal Derp Society, and Editor-in-chief of the Journal of Pure and Applied Derp.

    1. 4. I’m pretty sure all the rest are real things.

    2. #4.

      As ridiculous as the others are , #4 is beyond the pale.

      Plus, anyone who’s watched South Park knows that NAMBLA is a thing.

      1. All this focus on entering the Army must have distracted you here – these two entries are below your usual standard.

      2. Yes, it is. Passing that on from a friend.

    3. Well, we know NAMBLA is real, because we have been recently accused of being allies of theirs, due to wanting to legalize prostitution. I’ve heard of 5 and 6, and 1 seems like something people would do, and I know the name of 2 has been used, so yeah, going with 4.

    4. Busted again. 4 is from a George Carlin bit.

      And Now a Message from the National Institute of Apples:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlwUwPuj6NE

  33. Vice joins Salon.com and Gawker in unionizing.

    http://blogs.wsj.com/cmo/2015/…..-unionize/

    Could Reason.com be far behind?

    Welch and Gillespie better watch out for pinkos!

    Fifth column!

    P.S. Why would anybody believe anything Vice writes about unions anymore?

    1. What? I thought that Welch and Gillespie ARE pinkos. Oh wait, cosmos don’t count as pinkos? I need clarification on this rule.

      1. Cosmos are culturally anti-social conservative.

        Pinkos are pro-retard.

    2. Wait, an unionized writer is one who is not dissociated?

  34. I’m going with 5.
    1 seems legit – something something everyone’s a winner something
    2 is probably real; some poll of Russians had like 30% of the population believing the sun revolves around the earth (insert Yakov Smirnoff joke here)
    3 is real and weird
    4 could be a decent source of methane probably
    6 is real and scary

    1. 5 is real. The problem is that none of those assholes have offed themselves yet. If they would start doing that, I’d send large donations their way.

      1. God.

  35. NEOLIBRULZ!!!

    The Right’s New Clothes: How Old Neoliberal Ideas Have Been Charming the Latinamerican Youth

    “Some people want the right to healthcare, to education, to employment, to a place to live. The UN now wants to provide universal right to the Internet”, she says scornfully, even though she had just said that technology is key to changing the world.

    I get the impression the author thinks there’s a contradiction there…

    Anyway, this piece contains one of the few semi-coherent definitions of the term “neoliberal” I have seen, to the extent one can exist:

    “The defenders of classical liberalism were also defenders of political freedom, but this strain called ‘neoliberalism’ defended essentially the non-intervention of the state in the economy, without a particular preoccupation with political freedom and came shamelessly to support dictatorial governments like Pinochet’s in Chile”, says Prado.

    …but that definition conflicts with its usage in the headline, where it is used in the good-old OMG SCARY fashion.

    1. Hey, whatever happened to the ‘left libertarians’? Are those guys still around? I haven’t heard the term in a while. There for a while it seemed really trendy.

      1. I don’t think they ever go anywhere. Bleeding Heart Libertarians seems busy being really angry at Bernie Sanders for not being open-borders.

      2. One would hope that everyone involved kind of realized they aren’t really libertarians and they packed it in. But no, they’re still around. Nowadays I think they drop the ‘left’ part of the label like Steve Chapman or Dalmia et al, or they forgo the libertarian label altogether so as to not be confused with those infernal Ron Paul types of libertarians.

    2. “The defenders of classical liberalism were also defenders of political freedom, but this strain called ‘neoliberalism’ defended essentially the non-intervention of the state in the economy, without a particular preoccupation with political freedom and came shamelessly to support dictatorial governments like Pinochet’s in Chile”, says Prado.

      Hayek shamefully was a useful idiot for Pinochet, but I think it’s somewhat hilarious that a) Pinochet’s economic reforms actually worked as can be seen by Chile’s success over the last 30 years and b) the left supported far worse mass murderers than Pinochet and are still useful idiots for Islamists and Castro.

      Where would you rather live: Chile after Pinochet’s reforms or Venezuela after Chavez’s reforms?

      1. I think Hayek was less a useful idiot for Pinochet than someone who saw Pinochet as (bad as he was) a dictator who wouldn’t even *be a contender* for the top 10 list of horrible human beings of the 20th century. Yet he was the one dictator who was willing to separate his desire for political control from economic control – simply being content to maintain his share of an ever increasing pie rather than the usual practice of hogging an ever increasing share of a shrinking pie.

        1. We should also bear in mind that Friedman and Hayek and others had a fairly legitimate fear about the communist take over of the world at the time and this predisposed them towards support for some reactionary figures and policies that wouldn’t normally comport with their political philosophy. Grain of salt.

          1. Let us not forget how Mises thought that Mussolini was preferable to Communism while having no love for Fascism.

      2. People had toilet paper under Pinochet I assume. “You can have capitalism without freedom, but you can’t have freedom without capitalism.” As one Pinochet supporter is reputed to have said…and he’s right on that one I think.

    3. I like how we can put “neo” in front of anything and thereby make it evil.

      Neo-progressive. There I said it.

      NEO-PROGRESSIVE!!!!!!

      1. C’mon, Keanu Reeves isn’t that bad an actor.

    4. Best part:

      The packed two-thousand-seat theatre of Pontifical Catholic University of Rio Grande do Sul (PUC-RS), in Porto Alegre, explodes with laughter and applause for Gl?ria ?lvarez, a 30-year-old Guatemalan child of a Cuban father and Hungarian-descended mother.

      Gee, why would a young woman descended from a Hungarian and a Cuban have a distaste for socialism? It is a mystery.

      1. Bah! All Brazilians are commies.

        Porto Alegre is in a really nice area. And look how close it is to Uruguay. That’s what is wrong with this woman, she’s been sneakin down to Uruguay and getting all hopped up on the devils weed, it’s let the devil get in her mind and now she’s turned to speaking out against Commie Pope.

  36. People going buck-wild in Turkey

    2 Women Attack US Embassy, Kurds and Commies Setting off Bombs

    While I understand the PKK-terror aspect, the Turkish commies have been really going pretty bizzerk the last few years

    1. Women attacking US embassy… Commies and ISIS. Wow, I really want to live in Turkey, sounds like paradise.

      Is there anyway that the Commies and ISIS can kill each other off? Maybe we should just stay out of this.

    2. Paging tarran…tarran to the red courtesy phone!

  37. So the hospital where my son was born does a monthly “boot camp” for expecting dads, and recent dads take their kids back to give advice and answer questions for the expecting fathers. I took my son on Saturday, and there was a part where they asked what the most frustrated we’d ever been with the kid was, 1-10. I said 10, because there have been times when the thought has occurred to me that at least in prison they’d let me sleep. But there was this other guy there with a 4 month old daughter, and his answer was “Well, I only really get mad about injustice. So I’d say I’ve been to about a 4,” then he babbled about not understanding what his baby was trying to tell him and how Oprah had had a guest on who interpreted babys’ cries and he recommended watching it. Long story short, I have never actually met a neutered beta male before. It was surreal. He was so fucking proud of it, too.

    1. And here I was, about to give you shit for even participating in such an event!

      1. It’s actually very useful, if actual gendered males show up to help. If only because I learned not to bother buying burp cloths, but to buy disposable diapers which are cheaper, larger and more absorbent instead.

    2. There is a species of beetle where only two kinds of males get to mate. The first are the big, strong males who can fight off any rival. The other are the small, weak males who pretend to be female so the big, strong males will ass fuck them and waste their sperm. Then the small, weak males go mate with the females while the big males are resting.

      I’ve oftend wondered if there is a similar pattern in people.

      1. Apparently this guy did get to mate at least once, although I kind of wonder if the kid was his.

      2. They are called Rove Beetles. Another species known as PUA beetles attempt to woo females by wearing little hats and making backhanded compliments.

        1. I found a scientific paper describing beetles engaging in homosexual activity in order to “get rid of old, less effective sperm before they encounter females”

          Why didn’t that guy with the article about straight males hooking up go with this reason! It’s brilliant!

    3. “Well, I only really get mad about injustice. So I’d say I’ve been to about a 4,”

      I’m amazed at how you kept from bursting out laughing on the spot

      1. I would have done my best seriously-concerned face, and been like, “Injustice? Is your kid already showing signs of being a racist?”

        I can be pretty bad sometimes. I once convinced a guy corned beef was made by feeding cows corn.

      2. I didn’t. Fortunately, I was one of several, but dipshit didn’t even notice. I think it was a speech he had either given before or rehearsed endlessly.

      3. I got in trouble for laughing a guy at my gym a couple months ago. He asked the CF coach to change the music during our workout because the song was misogynistic (Blurred Lines). I larfed. I got scolded. I larfed again. He doesn’t like me and avoids speaking to me. boo-hoo.

        These people carry around their nonsense and expect the rest of us to care. No.

      4. Well, I only really get mad about injustice. So I’d say I’ve been to about a 4

        My wife gave birth to my three fantastic boys. So, by my math, she’s grown three more pairs of testicles than you’ll ever own.

        1. #REKT

    4. What a fag.

      And not the Jesse – or apparently now the Shackford – type.

  38. Question for HM and any other linguists: I read a study a while back that said that tonal languages are rare among people who live in deserts because speaking a tonal language in a place with low humidity causes your mouth to dry out quickly. The gist was that speaking a tonal language is like singing and so causes the mouth and throat to dry out faster. Thoughts?

    1. Paging HM…

      1. Mentioning BOOTY usually works

        1. He as a thing for cone shaped breasts, if that helps.

      2. Heroic Mulatto! I beseech thee! Awaken from thy unholy repose! Heroic Mulatto! I summon thee! Accept this offering of antique ass-shaking! Awaken! Arise! Awaken!

    2. That reminds me of the study claiming that plosives (I think) were rare in languages of people from high-altitude mountainous regions because the thin air would cause one to want to conserve their breath. Without having read the study your citing, both strike me as the worst sort of Just-so story research. Furthermore, as someone who speaks a tonal language with a high degree of fluency, it hasn’t been my experience that speaking it was inherently more drying than speaking a stress-based language. If anything, I would point to vowel quantity as a potential factor for mouth drying. So, if you look at Mandarian Chinese, it has 1 open vowel. Now compare that to English, which can have up to 4 open vowels.

      In short, the claim doesn’t have a lot of face validity, imo.

        1. Heh, heh. PNAS.

          1. Such a snob.

        2. Ah, figures that there was an Everett behind it. Thanks. I’ll read it when I get a chance;now, I have to light the grill and cook up some chicken.

          1. I got burned by you for citing him a while back. I guess he’s determined to make a name for himself with some wacky discovery.

            1. I got burned by you for citing him a while back. I guess he’s determined to make a name for himself with some wacky discovery.”

              The primary investigator is his son.

          2. Your open vowel theory makes more sense. If mouth drying affects language structure, you’d expect desert languages like Arabic to have fewer open vowels, but instead, it has lots of ahs like “father” and aas like in “cat”.

            Busted?

            1. So women have dry mouths because they can’t shut up. Makes sense.

      1. Booty worked.

      2. I have to consult experts sometimes as my research is limited to Bullshitish, Crapenese, and Derpskrit.

    3. Having just returned from Beijing, I can verify that drying out quickly is not a serious problem there in August.

      1. Fun fact I learned recently: Kublai Khan invented Beijing.

  39. So speaking of Pope Francis, Latin American commies and free shit I’ve been reading a bit about the Argentine Dirty War.

    The Montoneros sounded like such lovely people:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montoneros


    The Montoneros and the ERP in turn attacked business and political figures throughout Argentina, and raided military bases for weapons and explosives. The Montoneros killed executives from General Motors, Ford and Chrysler. On 16 September 1974, about 40 Montoneros bombs exploded throughout Argentina.[22] They targeted foreign companies and ceremonies during commemorations of the military revolt that had ended Juan Per?n’s first term as president.[23] Targets included three Ford showrooms; Peugeot and IKA-Renault showrooms; Goodyear and Firestone tire distributors, the pharmaceutical manufacturers Riker and Eli Lilly, the Union Carbide Battery Company, the Bank of Boston, Chase Manhattan Bank, the Xerox Corporation, and the soft drink companies, Coca-Cola and Pepsi-Cola. The Peronist guerrillas also held up at gunpoint two trains in a Buenos Aires suburb on 16 September.[24] The Montoneros discouraged foreign investment more directly by blowing up the homes of their executives. For example, in 1975 the homes of five executives of Lazar Laboratories were bombed in the suburb of La Plata in Buenos Aires.[23] The violence was widespread.

    1. With them, the Peronists and the Military Juntas, Argentina was in the midst of such a Libertarian Moment in the 1970s!

      And libertarian writers on US Foreign policy and the Cold War (*cough* Sheldon Richman *cough*) will typically ignore these facts and turn it into a Manichean tale of Noble Anti-Imperialist Democrats vs. Reactionary CIA Stooge Fascists.

  40. I saw a report today about a man who was shot dead after he vandalized some cars. A staple of sci fi and fantasy is a society where the death penalty is enforced for minor crimes. These days, it’s not much of a fantasy.

    1. I posted the link in another thread.

      To be fair, he drove his car through the windowfront of the car dealership first its not like he keyed some dudes Camaro.

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