Hillary Clinton

Saddest Hillary Clinton Email Revealed in New Data Dump!

Relax, you don't have to pick just one, but emails reveal weak grasp of reality among global power players.

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Yesterday, the State Department released thousands of pages of official emails written to and by then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who is currently running for president.

One of the following is an intentional joke. The other? An unintentional joke. Each is simultaneously funny and deeply disturbing. You be the judge of which is which.

And this:

Hillary Clinton's Private Server

This latest batch of emails, from a few months in 2009, shows a secretary who, among other things, struggled to use a fax machine. They also show a significant amount of interaction with such compromised figures as Sidney Blumenthal and also that some people (such as Obama admin figure David Axelrod) who have said they didn't know anything about Clinton's private server set-up clearly did.

Business Insider has a roundup of the "funniest" emails. Among them, an entreaty to do a puff piece in Parade whose author, the journalist Leslie Gelb, guarantees the secretary's handler that Clinton "will like it."

If no man is a hero to his valet, no former Secretary of State can be a hero to a nation that reads through her emails. Whether this batch does real damage to Hillary Clinton—as opposed to simply (and rightly) embarrassing the hell out of her—remains to be seen.

But for the rest of us, these things are required reading. Whether you're for another Clinton presidency or dead-set against that, the emails are worth sorting through. They detail the pettiness and closed-door stupidity, banality, and general lack of contact with reality that characterize day-to-day politics at the very highest level. And they show that among people whose power is global in reach, the grasp of reality is quite limited.

Search the emails yourself at the State Department's website.

NEXT: Jacob Sullum on John Roberts' Modest Arrogance

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  1. Best & brightest here… sheesh.

    1. Hillary: Ah, so you don’t approve of his ( Rand ) plans to defeat me, then.
      Dem donor: I do not, Ma’am. Damn his eyes! Damn his britches! Damn his duck pond!
      H: Well, hurrah for that!
      D: I care not a jot that you are the wife of a certified perjuring rapist!
      H: Ah, thank you, sir.
      D: It minds not me that you dress like a mad parrot and talk like a plate of beans negotiating their way out of a cow’s digestive system. It is no skin off my rosy nose that there are bits of lemon peel floating down the Potomac that would make better candidates than you.
      H: Well, bravo!
      D: The fact is, you *are* running…
      H: Yes, I am…
      D: …appointed by God, and I shall stick by you forever, though infirmity lay me waste and ill health curse my every waking moment. (falls into the chair dead )

      1. Well played, sir.

      2. You owe me a new, coffee-proof keyboard. And possibly for the operation to remove said coffee from my sinus cavities.

  2. The 99 percenters should notice Hillary’s front person is an actual, honest to God, Rothschild.

  3. no man is a hero to his valet

    And familiarity with this woman certainly breeds contempt.

  4. It’s nice to know our rulers type as well as John:

    From: H
    To: Sullivan, Jacob
    Cc: ‘cheryl.mill

    1. Sent: Sat Jun 13 06:34:25 2009
      Subject: Startegy memo
      Can you pis bring w you today two clean copies of the startegy memo you, Cheryl, Sandy and Derek worked on so I could
      talk w you about today and plan a conf call to discuss tomorrow. Thx.
      Also, Tom Donilon told me there would be a dinner Thursday night w Kissinger, Scocroft, Zakaria, Brezinski and principals
      and that he wouldn’t me to frame and lead off. So we have to get the ducks lined up.

      1. Those are intentional elisions. John’s are hilarious typos. She can’t even pull off charmingly casual.

      2. Kissinger, Scocroft, Zakaria, Brezinski before principals

        1. How does Zakaria end up in that list? Seriously, the man is a lightweight.

          1. CNN…Clinton News Network

  5. Search the emails yourself at the State Department’s website.

    So, I click the link and bring up a random email:

    – talked to [Redacted] who is back to really wanting an ambassadorship
    – [Redacted] wants to come see u privately this week.

    WTF happened to “I want the public to see everything”? This is truly bullshit.

    How’s the subpoenaing of Hillary’s server administrator going?

    1. Most transparent administration in HISTORIES!!!!

    2. If you want the un-redacted version, get ahold of the Chinese Embassy, they’ve gottem all.

  6. That Mikulski email – wow. She’s doing it on a blackberry but that’s equal to the worst I’ve recieved from people – to which I’ve replied “WTF?”.

    1. I usually reply with “did you type that with your feet?”

      1. Mine is usually “were you drunk when you typed that?”

  7. Unfortunately it will make little impact.
    Rather than vote on her skills and experience, people will vote because she’s a woman.

    1. She hasn’t ovulated in years!

    2. How do you know she’s a woman? After all, I am reliably informed by Top People that Caitlyn Jenner is a woman, though “she” lacks a complete set of X chromosomes, functional mammary tissue, ovaries, uterus, vagina and all other physical markers we typically associate with “woman.”

      So, it stands to reason that “woman” is an essentially meaningless term in any biological sense, and is defined solely by adherence to cultural stereotypes.

      More ludicrous, the self-same crowd that tells us that the only way we can identify “women” are by the individual’s adherence to a set of cultural stereotypes, also tells us that gender-defining traditional cultural stereotypes are terrible and must be broken down by giving our children gender-neutral toys, clothes and pronouns.

      We are all, apparently, just undefined humanoids of no particular sex. The regrettable inability to reproduce asexually is just a flaw that will eventually be corrected.

      So what’s this “woman” thing of which you speak?

      1. The Snuke.

    3. in a sense, you’re right: They’ll vote for her because she’s a woman whose husband decides everything. That husband being someone who’s not eligible for another term as prez, but whose adminstr’n they liked.

      1. +1 Ma Ferguson

    4. The first lesbian president. She went to an all women’s college and look at what she married.

  8. The best of these emails (over at dailymail) is Hildebeast having ZERO idea how a fax machine works.

    1. To be fair, what the fuck does PC LOAD LETTER mean?

      1. Player characters, as a free action once per turn, can load up to five sheets of paper in the manual feed tray.

        1. At-will, Encounter, or Daily?

          1. Utility at-will, but only through a feat.

      2. It means: Load Letter sized paper into the paper cartridge.

  9. Her email was seriously hrod17@clintonemail.com?

    Seriously??

    1. And people were signing their emails xoxo?

      What the fuck kind of clown show is this?

      1. The whole enterprise is incestuous and unprofessional.

      2. clowns to the left of me
        jokers to the right
        here I am, stuck in the middle with you

        1. Are you threatening to cut off her ear? I’m pretty sure this is a serious threat.

    2. Maybe the other 16 are hers too, but were used for more nefarious things, and were successfully erased. Only slightly tongue-in-cheek.

      1. Jest tell them all to bite your shiny woodchipping ass.

    3. Since there are several other email addresses you can find in the “To:” line I believe they may employ a practice of giving different individual people or groups different email addresses to contact her. The server can funnel them into a single mailbox that she reads from.

      One advantage of this system being that if the address leaks to a third party they can shut just that one box down without giving out a new addresses to every one of her contacts.

  10. The saddest thing about Hillary Clinton’s emails is that she had her own mail server and still 23 people got her preferred email address before she registered it. #hdr22@clintonemail-dot-com

    1. Yeah, I’m pretty sure she just doesn’t know how email addresses work and saw everyone else using numbers.

      1. Given the fact that she’s using two different emails in the pics, maybe she just forgets her password every time and makes a new account.

        1. Well, this keyboard is filled with coffee now.

        2. How many email accounts does one person really need?

          1. and some kids dont even have one email account!

  11. no former Secretary of State can be a hero to a nation that readers through her emails.

    Am I parsing this wrong?

    1. I think “readers” should be “reads.”

  12. Keep in mind they no doubt scrubbed the emails they found embarrassing. What do you suppose is in those? I mean besides instructions on where to leave the suitcase full of money at midnight is it possible we find her desperately pleading for someone to explain to her how to heat water in the microwave?

    1. She couldn’t figure out how to dial out of the office on the landline?

      1. Not colorful enough. How about she got lost on the way to the bathroom, accidentally locked herself in a storage closet and was stuck in there so long she peed down her leg.

        The embarrassing part is the closet wasn’t locked. It just didn’t occur to her to try the knob.

        1. That last part explains a lot about Bill.

        2. Well, when was the last time she had to open a door for herself?

    2. … they no doubt scrubbed the emails they found indictable…

      FIFY

  13. The one from Mikulski was stellar writing right there.

    My Lord.

  14. ‘Pls call Sarah and ask her if she can get me some iced tea,’ one message read.

    Of course, this *really* means ‘Pls call my server administrator and ask him to delete that thread.’

    1. No, “call Sarah” is the trigger to kill all her enemies.

      1. no, “request ritual political suicide” is political homicide. Sarah is Sara Palin.

  15. So uh, just how in the hell do you use a fax machine?

    Archaic dinosaur devices that should have been eliminated entirely at least 15 years ago.

    1. I had to use one recently for a hiking permit application. Very easy to do, but still idoitic that I had to print a form off of their website, fill it out, fax it to them (trying several times until their line was open), and then they confirm receipt by emailing me, instead of just letting me submit via their website.

      1. I’m just glad a lot of people in real estate related areas have caught up to the mid 90s.

        10 years ago when we bought a house it was fax fax fax. I almost was able to learn how to use the infernal machine.

        This year buying we didn’t have to send a single fax. Print, scan, email.
        It was wonderful.

  16. I already waste a ridicules amount of my life here. I’m sure as hell not going to waste any more reading the the vapid emails of imbeciles.

  17. So how is someone that has no idea how to operate a fax machine, so strongly support “net neutrality”?

    I got it, she wasn’t wearing her magical pantsuit when she was trying to operate the fax machine that day, and other top men told her net neutrality would make the internet open and freeeee….

  18. knock, knock… it’s just everyday life… better than it’s time for some traffic problem in Fort Lee…

  19. Just imagine how embarrassing the deleted ones must have been!

  20. ‘hdr22@clintonemail.com’ and ‘hrod17@clintonemail.com’… and presumably others?

    I thought the premise for having this server was that maintaining different state-controlled email accounts was too difficult/complicated?

  21. Hillary Clinton may be one of the most corrupt people in America and she will probably be our next president. If that happens it will the last time I will ever vote because it will confirm that the majority of the American people are to stupid to help.

    1. I crossed that threshold in 2012. Now I only vote if I actively support a candidate, and I only vote for that candidate (not the myriad other petty tyrants with the same letter after their name)

    2. My wife, who is generally (and smartly) apolitical, said to me last night (out of nowhere), “If Hillary is our next president, We. Are. Fucked.”

      1. Buy that woman some diamonds!

        1. Because hard, untraceable currency is a girl’s best friend.

      2. she sounds hot

  22. Among people whose power is global in reach and grasp of reality is quite limited.

    You don’t need any grasp of reality in order to charge $275k for a speech about nonsense.

  23. If no man is a hero to his valet, no former Secretary of State can be a hero to a nation that readers [sic] through her emails. Whether this batch does real damage to Hillary Clinton?as opposed to simply (and rightly) embarrassing the hell out of her?remains to be seen.

    But for the rest of us, these things are required reading. …

    Huh? Who are “the rest of us”? Does Nick really think that H&R/Reason readers, as opposed to editors, should spend time on this crap?

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  25. We won’t see the real emails, this is all just a big crap show and is indicative of the Fall of Rome.

    1. Just wait. She will nominate her horse for senate. It’ll be fun.

  26. I don’t…know. If Hillary becomes President, would we really be that bad off? Flippin’ Biden seems to have more on the ball than she does.

  27. I’m not saying my friends and I are special in any way, but if you went through a few thousand of our emails most of them sound reasonable. There is the odd one that is ’10 am?’ ‘yup, that works’, etc. But, most we write because we have something to say that is not incredibly banal. And, most of us are not 100% me-centric 100% of the time.

    Something tells me if Winston Churchill had emails and those were leaked we would see a lot of wit, intelligence, power, probably some nastiness, lots of funny but acerbic comments, and a lot of ideas. We would see power and strength oozing from them. Not, this tripe.

    If people read these and not see a total lightweight then they are so locked into their position it will take a Greek style pounding to get them out of it.

    1. Oh please. Churchill was a syphilitic inbred moron. The fact that he had a capacity for quippery does not detract from his horrendous bodycount (ignore the luck he enjoyed after the Germans permitted Allied escape at Dunkerque, and FDR finagled US entry into WWII: focus instead on his track record in WWI and before).

      I hold no brief for any modern-day politician (they are all parasitic scum, and if they turned out to be genetically different form homo sapiens, I would not be surprised: if it were possible to eradicate the will to power from the human genome, I would be all for it)… but hagiography of Churchill shows a spectacularly shallow understanding of history.

      Bear in mind’ Churchill and FDR handed almost half a billion people to Stalin at Yalta.

      Churchill was a ‘wit’, but he was a prefixed-wit: the prefix rhymes with ‘truck’, and is not ‘duck’.

      1. Churchill was a luckwit?

      2. They named cigar shape/sizes after him. That’s gotta count for something.

  28. It doesn’t matter. Her support comes from those who believe she’d be a marionette prez, Bill pulling the strings.

  29. The white house standing her up and not telling her about a meeting makes me respect Obama just a little bit. Like .000001% now.

    1. It bumped your respect for Obama all the way into the positives?? Dayum.

  30. VEEP is nonfiction!

  31. And Les Gelb is willing to cut off what few cojones he’s still got left to give her veto power over his own words? Well, there goes another nail pounded into the coffin of the fourth estate. Then again, it is only Parade, and not something as esteemed at the NY Ti?never mind.

    1. It’s called the Fourth Estate because it is part of the ruling mechanism: Gelb is doing precisely what his job actually entails (as distinct from what the media tells the proles it entails).

      Plus, the term was coined (if memory serves) by Edmund Burke, who was an idiot who thought that parliaments could make perpetually-binding promises (e.g., the law of 1688 that Burke claimed bound every Englishman – 100 years later – to the heirs and successors of William and Mary).

      Paine’s masterful takedown of Burke should be required reading for anybody who thinks that the Press (and court intellectuals) are anything other than an echo-chamber for the political parasite-classes.

  32. the smartest woman in america (which means every other woman in america is dimmer than her) and she can’t fax. dems find this all plausible.

  33. What this shows – irrefutably – is that the scum who live in palaces at others’ expense are not superior to us: they’re no better-fitted to make long-tailed decisions than the average high school sophomore.

    That should be reason enough to refuse to invest them with power. The fact that positions of power attract sociopathic megalomaniacs is more important, since there is no system design that can prevent it (and this overarching problem is made much much worse by the cognitive shortcomings of the median voter [see OECD’s PIAAC Surveys and be horrified).

    Incompetent, juvenile, sociopathic megalomaniacs, empowered by the collective votes of people ill-equipped to run even their own lives[****]: little wonder that behind-the-scenes political life is indistinguishable from an episode of “Saved By The Bell”.

    This is why anybody who thinks “House of Cards” is worth watching, is a moron. Watch “The Killing Season” (on Australia’s ABC, currently): it shows the left tentacle of the Australian parasite class, behaving like a pack of 15-y-o schoolgirls. (Full disclosure: my younger sister was a senior advisor to Gillard when she was Prime Minister).

    [****] the proportion of eligible voters who voted for the successful candidate in US Presidential elections, averages 29%; the average level of abstention is ~35%. Autrement dit: with 3 exceptions since the Civil War, more people have voted ‘none of the above’ than voted for the winner of the most powerful office in the world.

    1. One of my reserve Marines on orders out here is active in the Republican Party in his state. He shared his thoughts on the importance of political operatives and how lieing to further the cause is worthwhile. Being the kind soul I am I fuck with him daily now; curious if at any point he catches on I’m doing it to prove the point because you can is a shitty reason to be an asshole.

  34. She’s the product of an Ivy edumacation.

  35. Never forget –

    Hillary Clinton supports the war on women who smoke weed.

    She’s very very sexist

    1. She also personally leads the war on Bill’s women.

  36. Teflon…

  37. Hildabeast: Aptly named by – wait for it -….the Obama’s, Barack and Mooch themselves.

    If you go back in time to Travelgate, her actions then demonstrate her individuality……..I’m being kind here……..

  38. After reading what’s said about her e-mails, it’s a good thing she can’t read ours! No, wait, I guess they can…

  39. In your article you are assuming Hillary gets embarrassed.

  40. If you read the emails, especially those which entire sections redacted, you know her claim about not using private email to discuss classified info is a flat out lie. If she is talking, she is lying

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