Teenage Girls in Nigeria Carry Out Suicide Bombing, EPA Warns of Thousands of Deaths from Climate Change, Bill de Blasio Looking to Hire 1,300 New Cops: A.M. Links

• 

  "Soylent Green"

  Two teenage girls in Nigeria carried out a suicide bombing, the fourth in the last month in Maiduguri, the birthplace of Boko Haram.

• The Environmental Protection Agency warns 57,000 Americans could die by the year 2100 because of climate change and, specifically, poor air quality.
• New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio is looking to hire 1,300 new police officers in his $78.5 billion budget. Russell Simmons called him a "bitch" on policing.
• The six police officers in Baltimore charged in relation to the death of Freddie Gray while in their custody all entered pleas of not guilty.
• Maryland Governor Larry Hogan announced he had an advanced form of cancer.
• The rapper Puff Daddy was arrested by campus police at UCLA on a charge of assault with a deadly weapon.
• Modern humans and Neanderthals may have interbred in Europe thousands of years later than previously believed.

Follow Reason on Twitter, and like us on Facebook. You can also get the top stories mailed to you—sign up here.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

The rapper Puff Daddy was arrested by campus police at UCLA on a charge of assault with a deadly weapon.

Street cred.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Hello.

"The Environmental Protection Agency warns 57,000 Americans could die by the year 2100 because of climate change and, specifically, poor air quality."

Talk about justifying their jobs for the future.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

That is a spurious claims, sir! No one in the history of government has ever used unsubstantiated numbers in order to justify their existence!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

See. 57 000! YOU NEED US!

[X[redacted]s]

That's a thousand people in each state!

[John Galt]

Ha ha ha!!!

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Well done.

[hamilton]

That's like, 9/11 times 19.146!

[John Galt]

I see complete bull like 57,000 and I think the time to disband the EPA is long past due.

[Zeb]

And how many people will die because of the ineffective yet economically damaging policies that are supposed to "fix" climate change?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

56 999.

If they can save just one life.

[Charles Easterly]

Oh, nice.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Bravo!

[Chip the Chipper]

This is what the debate should be about, but no one will make it and people are too dumb to get it. Think of how many lives the industrial revolution saved and how many it extended. Did we get some pollution? Sure, but I would wager that the positives far outweighed the negatives.

[WoodchipperFocus(ed)]

Currently the greens are pushing every catastrophic theory they have to get momentum before the Paris summit. I've noticed weekly articles in the FT as well.

[robc]

The seen and the unseen.

Bastiat was a freakin genius.

[StupendousMan]

This x1000. It infuriates me when people cry and gnash their teeth about climate change while ignoring all of the amazing good industrialization and fossil fuels have enabled.

Those who advocate climate change mitigation via government are also advocating more expensive energy at a minimum. This will mean a slowing of innovation in all industries, except the climate alarmist industry. The result will me less innovation, vast portions of humanity stuck in poverty, the nearing semi-post scarcity world could easily be pushed off far into the future causing suffering on a massive scale that need not exist.

Many of these morons actually decry consumption! Consumption is life. More consumption is flourishing life. As many here have said, climate alarmist and environmentalist of all stripes are anti-human.

As I've said here, they are stupid. They are unable to process multiple ideas and concepts then develop ideas or plans of action. And these are generally the same people who think they can centrally plan economies.

[Gilbert Martin]

Didn't you get the memo?

There is no such thing as positive externalities - only negative ones.

[perlchpr]

Well, and I was just thinking "57,000 by 2100 just isn't really that many." Even the EPA themselves only set the value of a human life at $9.1m, back in 2011. Which works out to ~$518b, but over 85 years. And the cost of preventing global climate change is certainly going to be way more than $6b / yr.

Sorry, folks. You're literally not worth it.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

That article is no fucking help. What is it saying - that 57,000 people will die a year in 2100, or that 57,000 people will die over the next 85 years? Because the latter is laughably pitiful. And the former is hilarious BS. The EPA is so wise that it knows what technology and medical advances will exist in 2100? How remarkably prescient.

[R C Dean]

My God, man, that's 670 people per year! Almost 1/6th as many as die from drowning! Its a holocaust!

[Warty]

The deadly weapon was a kettlebell, no less. Functional fitness, brah.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Puffy got super aggressive with his squat-and-thrust motions.

[Restor-woodchipper-as]

Warty, you might like this...

I just started training in the gym where she trains (it's associated with my CrossFit gym) - very cool, IMHO.

[Restor-woodchipper-as]

Warty, I'm trying this again as I SF'ed the link...

[Sevo]

Firefox says that's an 'untrusted connection'.

[Restor-woodchipper-as]

it's fine - I had the same problem and that's why I SF'ed the first link attempt.

Try http://www.fios1news.com, Lower Hudson Valley, there is a link to a video in the Sports section, or you can try searching for the reporter, Jared Smith

[Warty]

Olympic lifting is a fun game. I should put in the time to get better at the full versions of the lifts. I just do power cleans and power snatches most of the time, and mostly because they're fun.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

"power snatches"

Reminds me of that Playboy Chyna spread or the Hope Solo Fappening pics.

And now I want a roast beef sandwich for some reason.

[Restor-woodchipper-as]

When I started CrossFit I had never been exposed to those lifting movements. Now it's my favorite part and it's just shocking to me, at 50 years old,nthat I look forward to it so much.

[dan'o, waster of ammo]

Good job referring to puff daddy by his first chosen name. By the third or fourth version (p diddy, then just diddy etc) people shouldn't be expected to pay heed. In retribution to what that asshole did to hip hop, news of his arrest brings me great pleasure.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The Environmental Protection Agency warns 57,000 Americans could die by the year 2100 because of climate change and, specifically, poor air quality.

Unless you buy their magic rock.

[straffinrun]

Is that magic rock? Tuuurn it up!

[Charles Easterly]

All the way to 11?

[thrakkorzog]

I would like to buy your rock.

[John Galt]

"Don't have a magic rock? You're going to die."

That kind of fear mongering con-artistry usually gets countless spineless fools buying whatever snake oil the flim-flam man is selling.

[Charles Easterly]

Let music be your magic power rather than flim-flam men (or women, or transgender....).

[Lord Humungus]

Russian 'Uber for Boobs' Start-Up Tittygram Sees Business Boom

To send a Tittygram, customers pay $9.95 and a model writes their message ? maximum 35 characters ? on their breasts, which are never fully shown and have no nipples in sight, and sends it on. The model's face is not visible either.

The site, which launched at the end of March, has proved so popular that staff are working 24 hours a day and 2,000 photos have been sent out already, Tittygram CEO Vladimir Gritsenko told The Moscow Times on Monday in a phone interview from the Volga River city of Ulyanovsk where the company is based.

Most people use Tittygram to send birthday wishes or congratulations messages, he said. One message on the site has a drawing of Albert Einstein's head on a left breast and the equation E=m*c2 on the right breast.

[Florida Man]

When do we get "dick-o-grams"?

[Injun ? Wood Chips and Salsa]

Aargh. You just gave Anthony "Carlos Danger" Weiner a startup idea.

[hamilton]

Maximum 10 characters, however, 45 character messages can be acommodated if you first send us a Tittygram and give us a moment.

[The Last American Hero]

Ah, using the 10 characters per inch font.

[hamilton]

well, it's cold.

[Timon 19]

I WAS IN A POOL!

[Enough About Woodchippers]

I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.

[perlchpr]

Pools? It's hard, they're heavy.

[Enough About Woodchippers]

When do we get "dick-o-grams"?

It's called SnapChat

[Notorious G.K.C.]

"Don't forget our appointment on Thursday. I wrote it somewhere you're bound to pay attention."

"Having a wonderful time, wish you were her."

[Charles Easterly]

Her?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

We Earthlings call that a "joke," Data.

[Charles Easterly]

Oh.

[Zeb]

Doesn't seem much like uber. Uber for Boobs suggests something else to me.

[Lord Humungus]

I would prefer to ride them...

(and that's why there are no libertarian women)

[Woodchip-o-Matic 5000]

Awesome, but I, too, fail to see the Uber connection here.

[Fist of Etiquette]

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio is looking to hire 1,300 new police officers in his $78.5 billion budget.

Number one requirement? No mayoral back turning tendencies.

[Injun ? Wood Chips and Salsa]

Those 1300 cops will not have unlimited pensions and will have 401-k style retirement plans instead.

Just kidding!

[invisible furry hand]

A well-respected far north Queensland tourism operator who died last month in a car crash has been unveiled as an American drug fugitive who faked his own death more than 40 years ago.

more

[Florida Man]

Badass

[Notorious G.K.C.]

I'll watch the movie when it comes out.

[mr lizard]

Vintage 1970s Floridians were truly remarkable. There's probably quite a few who saw the writing on the wall, and had to get out of the country.

[Restor-woodchipper-as]

The documentary Cocaine Cowboys is amazing.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Wait, you're telling me Australia is a haven for felons?

[Lord Humungus]

Drummer's flatulence costs Washington, D.C. nightclub

A drummer's fart has cost a D.C. nightclub $500.

Why? The emission was so offending that a window at the city's Madam's Organ Blues Bar was opened to lessen its impact, thereby breaking a no-windows-open-during-live-music city ordinance, according to the Borderstan news Web site.

"(The drummer) opened the window to let (a) fart out," said club owner Bill Duggan in the report. "He cracked it open for five minutes, then the inspector showed up."

A city Alcohol Beverage Regulation Administration inspector spotted the band playing "directly in front of one of the establishment's ground floor windows" between 1:30 and 1:33 a.m. on June 22, 2014, according to the report.

[invisible furry hand]

Even worse, he let the drum solo out

[John Galt]

Drummers are awesome.

[Injun ? Wood Chips and Salsa]

The drummer should get into an elevator with the city inspector for the 95th floor of a tall building, let out a fart, and wait to see if the city inspector breaks any elevator regulations.

[The Last American Hero]

He still gets more tail than the bass player.

[SugarFree]

Everyone hates the bass player.

[Charles Easterly]

"Nobody invites the bass player to the party after the show."

[MoriahJovan]

No. Just ? no.

[Lord Humungus]

Greek offer to creditors stirs angry backlash at home

Greek lawmakers reacted angrily on Tuesday to concessions Athens offered in debt talks and parliament's deputy speaker warned the proposals might by rejected, puncturing optimism that a deal to pull Greece back from the abyss might be sealed quickly.

Euro zone leaders welcomed new budget proposals from Athens on Monday as a basis for further negotiations to unlock billions of euros in frozen aid and avert a default that could trigger a Greek exit from the single currency area.

Stock markets also cheered, with European shares extending the previous session's sharp rally and climbing to a three-week high on hopes of a deal. But the euro fell on fears the plan would struggle to win approval in Greek parliament.

[LynchPin1477]

Can't they just wrap this up already

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Maybe in a pita?

[Swiss Servator, Holzhacker]

Grape leaves.

[LynchPin1477]

Looks too much like a cigar. BAN IT

[invisible furry hand]

Nikki Haley is the wrong sort of non-white, says Salon

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Right. The left isn't obsessed with race.

Riiiiight.

[John Galt]

Racism is left's favorite vehicle to deliver themselves into positions of dictatorship.

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

Almost all of the actual racists I've met in my life were "progressive".

In 2001 she identified as "white" on her voter registration card. And in 2011 Haley was an outspoken champion of legislation designed to prevent voter registration fraud.

I literally thought she was of European ancestry. She kind of looks Italian.

[Injun ? Wood Chips and Salsa]

She's a Sikh Injun. Sikhs are the among the toughest bada$$es of India.

[crab_apple]

Weird, I thought she was half white, but I guess not. Our mayor is a Sikh and he seems like the most logical of all the progtard city council peoples.

[Tonio]

I'm sure they'll give her a pass on that just as they forgave Sen. Elizabeth Warren for her claims of Native American ancestry, right?

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

Depends on how many of her opinions are based on logical fallacies and pure emotion.

[VG Zaytsev]

And in 2011 Haley was an outspoken champion of legislation designed to prevent voter registration fraud.

Because everyone knows that real minorities support voter fraud.

WTF?

[Florida Man]

I tried to read it. I really did, but I couldn't finish it. Nikki flip flops on race. Oh really, a politician that panders to the audience. I've never heard of that.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Ah, yes, a Democratic Party operative (named Harpootlian, of course) declared that (wink, wink), she should be using her *real,* Indian name on official documents, not "Nikki."

Which proves Republicans are racist, I guess.

Oh, and becoming Christian means you just want to be white.

Never mind that there have been Christians in India since way before the USA was a country.

[Woodchip-o-Matic 5000]

According to tradition, Christianity was brought to India by Bartholomew and/or Thomas, the Apostles.

Progs just don't understand that someone might actually believe in a religion or its teaching, so they assume it's social signaling or some sort of pandering. (Projecting, I suspect)

[Notorious G.K.C.]

When you keep the projection angle in mind, a lot of the stuff progs say about their opponents is truly chilling.

[Lord Humungus]

You know who else was the wrong kind of non-white... wait that doesn't work very well.

[mr lizard]

Blanka?...

[straffinrun]

Hadoken!

[Woodchip-o-Matic 5000]

Dhalsim

[pogi chipperwoodspecialhell]

Seven of Nine?

[Tejicano]

Funny how so many people never seem to get where the "Aryan race" comes from.

[Tonio]

Arya Stark? [ducks]

[Florida Man]

I've never we looked it up. Where does it come from?
(I'd look it up but I'm at work and I don't want that in my history)

[invisible furry hand]

It comes from the Sanskrit word for "noble" and was used by Indo-Iranians. The word Iran is the Persian word for land/place of the Aryans.

[Florida Man]

Ah. Thanks.

[Restor-woodchipper-as]

So, how the hell did an Indo/sanskrit word become associated with blond haired, blue eyed Germanics?

[invisible furry hand]

According to Wikipedia, this is what started the change in meaning:

In the United States, the best-selling 1907 book Race Life of the Aryan Peoples by Joseph Pomeroy Widney consolidated in the popular mind the idea that the word "Aryan" is the proper identification for "all Indo-Europeans", and that "Aryan Americans" of the "Aryan race" are destined to fulfill America's manifest destiny to form an American Empire

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Damn, Widney's heirs ought to go all Marvin Gaye heir-style and claim IP infringement on Mein Kampf.

[Tejicano]

Linguists have proven that European and Indian languages come from a common location, mainly being southern Asia - India in other words. That pretty much makes an iron-clad case that many or most European peoples came from India. At least the dominant cultures started there.

Quite possibly or probably those were the ruling class while the bulk of the original inhabitants were fair skinned and fair haired. I cannot claim to have followed the anthropology of that so well.

[Tonio]

Which is why that family of languages are called Indo-European.

[Injun ? Wood Chips and Salsa]

You do know that the Aryan Brotherhood includes people of Indian ancestry as honorary members, right?

[VG Zaytsev]

Haley is not the first Indian American Republican politician to make such accommodations to her identity. Bobby Jindal, the Republican governor of Louisiana, converted from Hinduism to Christianity and rarely uses his full name, Piyush Jindal.

How dare those darkies, what do they think they, individuals?

but whitewashing isn't quite what Nikki and Bobby might hope. Aside from skin color, and other physical markers of race, which some of us don't have the ability to forgo, race in America is anchored to white supremacy. Assimilating into whiteness, by changing our names, our religion and in some cases even our physical appearance (for those who can), may allow some of us to pass for another race, but it does nothing to challenge the very systems of structural inequity that ensure that while we may "pass" we are never far from the consequences of being brought right back into the racial hierarchy.

Funny that nowadays all the people trying to pass as a different race are white people claiming to be minorities.

[Matrix]

So when white people convert to Islam or Buddhism, is that just cultural appropriations? (I would add Judaism [as in my case], but Jews are already considered 'white' by race-baiters and SJWs when it will help their argument)

[Azathoth!!]

Since she's caucasian regardless of any dance Salon or anyone else does, I'm really not sure what their point is.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Modern humans and Neanderthals may have interbred in Europe thousands of years later than previously believed.

Poor australopithecus. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

[invisible furry hand]

Well how do you think STEVE SMITH was conceived?

[Fist of Etiquette]

It was hinted that he is the last of the pure Neanderthals.

[Swiss Servator, Holzhacker]

I would defer that question to Pro L'.

[SugarFree]

Bite mark analysis from recovered victim chunks prove that he is a Gigantopithecus.

[Lord Humungus]

Wherever there is a hole, Man is sure to fill it.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

STEVE SMITH LIKES THIS COMMENT...

FILL YOUR HOLE LAST.

[pogi chipperwoodspecialhell]

It explains the origins of the French.

[Tejicano]

Some will be drawn to fill the hole. Others will want to taste it. THAT explains the origins of the French.

[Bee Tagger]

Russell Simmons called him a "bitch" on policing.

Meow. I've heard of stop and frisk, but stop and frisky?

[invisible furry hand]

OK, which one of you said this:

"Deep inside me there's a serial killer lurking somewhere. But I keep him amused with cocaine, Formula One, booty calls, and coruscating cross-examination."

[Florida Man]

Watch F1?!? No thank you. I'll watch NASCAR like GAWD intended!

[Restor-woodchipper-as]

I like both...

I just wish NASCAR would loosen up on the rules and get rid of the stupid restrictor plates for Daytona and Talladega. The obsession with three-wide all the time is stupid. Also, shorter races, please!

[Florida Man]

I wish stock car would go back to stock cars. It would be so much cooler if you could buy a version close to the car that won the big race.

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

The headlights on those cars are painted on. That's just fucking dumb. There are real race cars in the world, but you won't find them in NASCAR.

[Restor-woodchipper-as]

I don't even think they are painted on - they are just decals.

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

Yeah I was being generous. They're stickers.

[WoodchipperFocus(ed)]

Really? When we moved to Asia I tried to like F1, but they do all they can to make the sport uninteresting.

[X[redacted]s]

Salon interviewed Episiarch?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Following the link, it was a "successful British attorney."

I would say Rumpole.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

And incidentally, we see that some Britons - at least the psychopaths - watch NASCAR.

[Elspeth Flashman]

+1 Penge Bungalow Murders. I actually gave away all my Rumpole. I have read them so many times that I can almost recite them.

[Matrix]

Someone was asking why politicians weren't on the list. Most politicians originally started out as one of those top 10 anyway.

[Lord Humungus]

How a 16-year-old tricked the New York Times into reporting that Dylann Roof blogged about My Little Pony

That's right: the shooter of nine people was a "brony"?a male devotee of the children's TV show.

The only problem? It was all a complete fabrication by Wareing, a British 16-year-old with a Hotmail email address who never met or communicated with Roof, he told Fusion today. He never found a Tumblr account belonging to Roof, and the My Little Pony detail was created out of thin air, he said.

The Times article in question, by Pulitzer-winning investigative journalist Frances Robles, has since been edited to remove those details.

[mr lizard]

Limey Troll...quite splendid indeed

[Rufus J. Firefly]

But hang on. I thought only Fox misreported.

[Illocust]

Good on that kid. The more times the big names get embarrassed the more likely people take what they say with a grain of salt and maybe the big guys try and fact check once in a while.

[Illocust]

Also, kudos to the kid for doing this and still wanting to be a reporter when he gets older. He's got the right philosophy for the business if he's already pointing out lack off research on the part of others.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

It's time to take My Little Pony out of the state capital!

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

The Times article in question, by Pulitzer-winning investigative journalist

Well there's yer problem right there.

[Injun ? Wood Chips and Salsa]

Luckily for the NYT, they only misreported a "My little Pony" story unlike Rolling Stone.

[Tonio]

Epic trolling. Well-done, British teenager.

[Don Mynack]

I once wrote some hilariously wrong information about a celebrity on wikipedia that ended up in that celebrity's obituary in the Guardian. See if you can spot it.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2008/sep/04/usa

[Bee Tagger]

The Environmental Protection Agency warns 57,000 Americans could die by the year 2100 because of climate change and, specifically, poor air quality.

I hope I'm one of the several billion to live another 85 years.

[The Shrubber's Woodchipper]

All efforts must be made to prevent the deaths of 670 people per year with respiratory health so poor that they will succumb to the assumed poor air quality that will result from the assumed climate change. If your health and well being suffer from the efforts made to save these poor souls, well, those are the sacrifices we make to live in a civilized society.

[mad.casual]

If your health and well being suffer from the efforts made to save these poor souls, well, those are the sacrifices we make to live in a civilized society.

No expense will be spared in reducing the number of people who will succumb to poor respiratory health in the next 85 years from 57,000 to 55,000 or even 53,000!

Then, a decade from now, we can look ahead to a century where 57,000 people will die from poor respiratory health and feel like we've really accomplished something other than just mortality displacement.

[Copernicus would chip]

Wouldn't you think that if they are just going to make up bullshit numbers, they'd at least make up some scary numbers? What a joke. Like Dr. Evil demanding ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The six police officers in Baltimore charged in relation to the death of Freddie Gray while in their custody all entered pleas of not guilty.

Well, that's good enough for their superiors in the department. REINSTATED!

[Thymirus]

New York City's budget is a third greater than Britain's entire defense budget. The hyper-authoritarian, omnipresent tendencies of its government worsen with each passing year.

[Lord Humungus]

And by least appealing, they mean 47% would:

In U.S., Socialist Presidential Candidates Least Appealing

These dynamics can affect 2016 candidates' efforts to attract American voters in the upcoming primaries as well as the general election next year, particularly because the field is shaping up as one that will have some diversity in terms of race, gender and, particularly, religion.

Five declared candidates are Catholics -- Republicans Jeb Bush, George Pataki, Marco Rubio and Rick Santorum, and Democrat Martin O'Malley. Two are women -- Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton and Republican Carly Fiorina. Republican Ben Carson is the sole black candidate in the race, while two candidates are Hispanic -- Republicans Rubio and Ted Cruz.

Independent Bernie Sanders, who is seeking the Democratic nomination, is the only Jewish candidate in the race. And while a large majority of Americans are willing to vote for a candidate of his faith, Sanders' self-identification as a socialist could hurt him, as half of Americans say they would not vote for someone with that background.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Americans need a candidate with a strong name. Like Maddox Steel or Rocco Metallia. Patches Smeltsiron (because he used to patch bodies with iron). Something like that.

[straffinrun]

Stalin?

[Copernicus would chip]

Bulk VanderHuge, Butch Deadlift, Splint Chesthair, Flint Ironstag, Thick Mcrunfast, Blast Hardcheese, Punch Rockgroin, Dirk Hardpec, Gristle Mcthornbody, Crunch Buttsteak, Slab Squatthrust.....

[pogi chipperwoodspecialhell]

+1 Space Mutiny

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Most Americans couldn't give a flip that a candidate is Jewish. Of those who *do* give a flip, most will use his religion/ethnicity as a reason to vote *for* him.

[Tonio]

....but, when he drops out, or doesn't get the nomination, it will be inaccurately blamed on anti-semitism, not honestly admitted as the abject failure of socialism to gain traction with the American people.

[commodious spittoon]

His sin is coming out and saying it. Most Americans are happy having their socialism served in gravy.

[Igor]

The strange thing is that I actually do see a fair amount of 'soft antisemitism' here in New York and certainly in Connecticut.

Not of an intensity that would push a sane person over the edge to violence, but a definite level of disdain; low-grade sniping, offhand 'dissing', certainly falling well within the scope of "microaggressions".

[Don Mynack]

If its acceptable to vote for a candidate because of their race, it is not also acceptable to vote against said candidate for the same reason?

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

Sanders' self-identification as a socialist could hurt him, as half of Americans say they would not vote for someone with that background.

One's proclivity towards socialism is not a "background", it's a set of thoroughly debunked and highly unjust ideas.

[Tonio]

"Background" implies lack of choice - like being raised Jewish. Political preference is very much a choice, and an ongoing choice. Each time one votes one expresses a choice.

[Injun ? Wood Chips and Salsa]

All the people on my Derpbook feed who support Sanders are academics with PhD's - people who live in a bookish fantasy world.

[SugarFree]

"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them."

? George Orwell

[crab_apple]

I've seen a small amount of millennials as well, at least the ones who aren't psychotically starry eyed ready for Hillary.

[The Last American Hero]

No mention of Jindal.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

"The rapper Puff Daddy was arrested by campus police at UCLA on a charge of assault with a deadly weapon."

He's not only a punk but a punk with a punchable face.

[Lord Humungus]

Stuck in a drain: This Chinese girl demonstrates why you shouldn't text while walking

A skinny Chinese teenager was left stuck after her entire leg got wedged in a storm drain.

The unnamed teenager had been walking down a street in Mianyang City, in southwest China while using her mobile phone to text a friend.

Unfortunately she wasn't looking where she was going, and when she stepped on a drain her legs went straight through the grill leaving her wedged.

Onlookers tried to help, but after realising that she was completely stuck, called emergency services who arrived and freed her after a 45 minute ordeal.

[Slammer]

Did she yell or text,"Herp! Herp!"?

[invisible furry hand]

No, but amused observers texted "ROR"

[Elspeth Flashman]

I see what you did thele.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

And she continued texting all the way through! What determination!

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Mr. Rogers lied to us!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJmiYNFa1w4

[Rhywun]

she wasn't looking where she was going

I'm nearly at the point where I will just shove such people out of my way. They're a plague on modern society.

[commodious spittoon]

If you're at the head of a line of cars in a turning lane, you have an insuperable civic duty to pay attention to the signal.

[Lord Humungus]

This Survey Says That Marijuana Prices Are Crashing in Colorado

It's been a little over a year since Colorado began allowing stores to sell marijuana for recreational use and the market continues to grow rapidly. But there are clouds (ahem) on the horizon.

Nicholas Colas and his team at Convergex, a global brokerage company based in New York, surveyed a number of marijuana stores in Colorado last week to get a better picture of the state of the nascent market.

What they found was that prices are declining faster than some had expected, while the number of people visiting the stores has increased.

I'll take Free Markets, How Do They Work for $200

[mr lizard]

You know what else $200 will buy you?...

[invisible furry hand]

Your mother?

[mr lizard]

Left that pitch right over the plate just for you... Now leave my heat lamp alone.

[Lord Humungus]

A ride on the Lizard Ship?

[mr lizard]

Actually during the early exploratory phases they were going for $20. But then we implanted memories about anal probes for the lulz.

[Lord Humungus]

First Class then?

[straffinrun]

Reading Railroad?

[Swiss Servator, Holzhacker]

*applause*

[Zeb]

The stores need to compete with all the people selling in the informal market that doesn't have taxes, etc. Not surprising.

[Injun ? Wood Chips and Salsa]

"Mexican Drug Cartels hardest hit."

"Gang violence goes down."

"People aren't constantly high and life goes on pretty much as usual."

[Azathoth!!]

Ain't gonna be no dime bags soon--gonna be dime bales

[Slammer]

Walmart, Sears will drop all Confederate flag merch

Sears?

[Thymirus]

It's extraordinary that a retailer as titanic and wealthy as Walmart would so readily seek to cater to the sensibilities of grievance-mongering prohibitionists.

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

I wouldn't say it's extraordinary. They know which way the winds blows.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

What do Lynyrd Skynyrd (the ones still alive) think of this?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

They don't need Wal-Mart around, anyhow.

[Chinny Chin Chin]

Hm, I'm pretty sure this has to be incorrect.

See: I'm constantly being told that CORPORASHUNS have no souls, and are legally obligated to maximize gains for their shareholders. Responding to consumers by removing offensive inventory from shelves will hurt the bottom line, so shouldn't be happening.

[Tonio]

No, no, CCC (SWIDT?), you're getting the wrong message out of this. The fact that those retailers ever sold that merchandise, and only stopped when doing so became completely untenable, is proof that they are soulless. /proggie

[Bam!]

Sears is that fictitious store from "Man of Steel."

[Lord Humungus]

Nuts dispute behind US-bound flight diverted to Belfast

The flight from Rome made an unscheduled landing in Belfast on Saturday.

Jeremiah Mathis Thede, a 42-year-old with dual Italian and American nationality, was charged with endangering the safety of an aircraft, disruptive behavior and common assault.

Police told Coleraine Magistrates' Court on Monday that the trouble began soon after takeoff when Thede demanded "nuts or crackers."

He was given some nuts but later asked for more, and the situation escalated until the pilot became concerned about Thede's erratic behavior.

[Thymirus]

Hypersensitivity to behavior which doesn't conform to a generic, uniform, and mediocre model is increasingly common. Apparently, rowdy behavior and impolite remarks are sufficient cause to redirect commercial aircraft, lest, I suppose, a precious snowflake somewhere on an airliner suffer mightily the impact of a slightly elevated volume of speech, profane words, and a terrifying barrage of peanuts. "Assault peanuts," maybe? "High-capacity peanut bags"?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Wow, an article with the words "nuts" and "Belfast" in the headline, and it's not about an Irishman!

[Tonio]

Moar persecution of Christians, by.... (wait for it, people) other Christians!

Pope Francis asked forgiveness Monday for the Catholic Church's persecution of members of a small evangelical church in Italy whose leader was excommunicated and followers branded as heretics during the Middle Ages.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Avenge, O Lord, thy slaughtered saints, whose bones
Lie scattered on the Alpine mountains cold;
Even them who kept thy truth so pure of old,
When all our fathers worshiped stocks and stones,
Forget not: in thy book record their groans
Who were thy sheep, and in their ancient fold
Slain by the bloody Piedmontese, that rolled
Mother with infant down the rocks. Their moans
The vales redoubled to the hills, and they
To heaven. Their martyred blood and ashes sow
O'er all the Italian fields, where still doth sway
The triple Tyrant; that from these may grow
A hundredfold, who, having learnt thy way,
Early may fly the Babylonian woe.

[Tonio]

WTF?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

John Milton, On the Late Massacre in Piedmont, philistine.

Oh, and the poem was written in 1655, so good job keeping up with current events and the latest moral-equivalence talking points.

[John Titor]

This Pope can't even apologize correctly. He could have also apologized for the Cathars at the same time and gotten a twofer.

Oh wait, the Waldenians actually have a descendant church, while the Cathars were just exterminated.

[Lord Humungus]

42-year-old man with 29 Miley Cyrus tattoos wants to get them removed after singer called them ugly

Carl McCoid got divorced in 2010 and subsequently covered himself with 29 Miley Cyrus tattoos.

But now, according to the Mirror, the 42-year-old wants to undergo laser tattoo removal to get rid of the ink honoring the 22-year-old pop singer.

"There's a dude that holds a record of the most pictures of my face," Cyrus said in an interview in 2013 when she was promoting her album Bangerz. "He has like 18 pictures of my face and they're really ugly."

He plans to remove the three portrait tattoos he has of Cyrus first. That leaves his knuckle tattoos that spell out Cyrus' name and one on his hand that says "strategic hot mess."

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I'm gonna drench my body in Matt Welch tattoos.

[sarcasmic]

She's ugly.

[OldMexican]

She's ugly now. But she wasn't ugly at all back when she was, you know... sixteen.

[sarcasmic]

She's always been ugly.

[Enough About Woodchippers]

I adore her breasts and nipples.

[straffinrun]

Miley seems more of a mushroom tattoo lover. *Thwack! Nice imprint.

[Woodchip-o-Matic 5000]

Well, yeah, if you get 19 tattoos of an ugly person, they will be ugly.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

That guy pays more honor to people named Cyrus than the Old Testament.

[Lord Humungus]

Dear white allies after Charleston: Please understand this about your privilege

The Charleston shooting is a textbook example of White Privilege. Let's start with the manner in which the cops apprehended Dylann Storm Roof, the murderer and domestic terrorist.

Note that at the time of his arrest, Roof was an armed and dangerous fugitive, who heartlessly gunned down nine church members ? and still received the utmost care when he was taken into police custody. The cops gave him a nice bulletproof vest to assure that he wouldn't receive any damage on his way to the station and genteelly guided him out to the squad car. When the cameras flashed, he was clean and spotless, with every hair of his Lloyd from "Dumb and Dumber" cut in place.

If he were black, he probably would have ended up like the innocent, unarmed Cleveland couple, Timothy Russell and Malissa Williams, who fled in a similar manner as Roof, but received no love or restraint ? just 137 shots for being on the wrong side of privilege. And this is the norm; there's a collection of contemporary cases that display similar results.

[mr lizard]

Has anyone heard about the actual apprehension? Like did they just waltz into his mother's basement and throw the cuffs on? Or like show up in full laser tag mode, and then firmly ask him to come out?

[Zeb]

I think they stopped him in a car? i could be misremembering.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

He appears to have surrendered peacefully and without any conflict.

That point is such bullshit anyway because the closest analogue is to John Allan Muhammad the Beltway Sniper who was black and Muslim. He was captured unharmed and brought out in a bullet proof vest to protect him from any angry mobs of citizens.

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

But we're dealing in non-factuals here.

If he were black, he probably would have ended up like the innocent, unarmed Cleveland couple, Timothy Russell and Malissa Williams

It's possible to imagine that a black guy would have been more roughly handled. Are you denying that my imagination is capable of imagining his white privilege? Check your white privilege and open your mind up to the possibilities. And then hone in on that one non-factual possibility like it were a fact.

[Certified Public Asshat]

She forgot free Burger King

[Thymirus]

Does anybody of repute give a single shit about Salon's retarded, let's-engineer-society-in-the-image-of-Pripyat, pinko ramblings?

[Zeb]

Here is the problem with all the "privilege" shit. It's just not privilege. That is how people should be arrested and handled by the police: using the minimum violence necessary. It seems pretty clear that police do often act more aggressively when dealing with black people. But that's doesn't mean whites are privileged. It means that blacks are getting treated poorly. When people frame it as "white privilege" it makes it seem like the answer is to treat white people more like they treat blacks when that is completely the wrong way around.

[straffinrun]

Liberty, respect, money etc. it's all zero sum to them.

[crab_apple]

"What the honorable member is saying is that he would rather that blacks continue to be murdered by cops, provided that whites would also be murdered by cops."

[cavalier973]

If you open the door for a white person, somewhere else a black person gets a door slammed into his face.

[Irish Says Enough Woodchippers]

And in this case the murderer surrendered peacefully and did not resist at all. If he'd fired on cops or tried to run, there is a very good chance he would be dead. As it stands, they're actually complaining that the cops didn't beat someone who they arrested without incident.

[Woodchip-o-Matic 5000]

Yeah, if he surrendered peacefully and they still shot him, that would be murder. But when progtards talk about "white privilege," they don't want all people treated with respect without regard to race, they want whites to be treated worse.

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

The left doesn't care about injustice, they only care that injustice isn't always distributed "equally".

[Zeb]

Yeah, I'm sure that if he tried to run or acted aggressive at all things would likely have gone differently for him.

[Acosmist]

They beat Eric Frein, so, yeah, trivially refuted.

[Tonio]

As it stands, they're actually complaining that the cops didn't beat someone who they arrested without incident.

^This. Cannot be said enough. They are pursuing policy counter to their own intererests, and are too clueless or dishonest to realize or admit that.

[Irish Says Enough Woodchippers]

I wonder what these people are going to say when he is sent to the electric chair because he made the mistake of committing a mass murder in a southern state.

Will it still be white privilege if he's killed after undergoing a trial rather than being extrajudicially shot by cops?

[Zeb]

They will have moved on to something else by then, probably.

[Tonio]

Oh, they will cheer. At least the rank and file will do so on FB, conveniently forgetting their oh-so-principled stances against the death penalty. Their pundits will studiously ignore that.

[spqr2008]

I'm not a huge fan of the death penalty, but in this case, where it was clear that Roof is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt, let him fry.

[Woodchip-o-Matic 5000]

What the fuck privilege is this moron derping about???

Of the several mass shootings over the past few years, this is the only white-on-black racially motivated one. It is receiving universal condemnation from everyone on every side of the political spectrum. The suspect in this case was apprehended, but sometimes they are killed on the scene and other times they commit suicide.

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

In fact the rate of white-on-black crime is so minuscule that it's hard to measure.

[Tonio]

Well, excluding that perpetrated by the po-po, of course.

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

Well, excluding that perpetrated by the po-po, of course

I wonder what proportion of white on black crime is committed by the police?

That's even harder to measure. But it's not exactly fair to compare the rate at which government murders people to the rate at which private citizens murder each other. Private citizens can't even begin to compete with the gubmint's murdery inclinations. And in any case, the defining feature of such murders are the costumes of the perpetrators not the color of their skin. A white cop's qualified immunity is what leads him to so casually murder people, not his whiteness.

[Zeb]

A white cop's qualified immunity is what leads him to so casually murder people, not his whiteness.

This is certainly true in almost all cases. I don't think black police are any less prone to the us vs. them mentality either. While I do believe that there is a problem with how police treat black people in many cases, I don't believe that personal racism of individual police is a significant part of it.

[Zeb]

That's probably part of white privilege too.

I wonder what proportion of white on black crime is committed by the police?

[VG Zaytsev]

I heard that he tried to kill himself but was out of ammo. And too stupid to execute suicide by cop.

[Tonio]

Dear Whiner: Please understand this about your whining. The more you whine about "privilege" and other nonsense, the less motivated I am to continue doing the hard work of speaking out against actual racism. That doesn't mean I'm going to support idiots like David Duke, or turn against you, but rather exit the discussion and stay gone from it.

[OldMexican]

The Charleston shooting is a textbook example of White Privilege. If he were black, he probably would have ended up like the innocent, unarmed Cleveland couple, Timothy Russell and Malissa Williams, who fled in a similar manner as Roof.

Ha ha ha, no they did not! They didn't deserve to die, but Roof surrendered without a struggle.

Maybe this White Privilege thing means whites are not the suicidal kind.

[Lord Humungus]

Hillary Clinton is going to lose: She doesn't even see the frustrated progressive wave that will nominate Bernie Sanders

Clinton's trade talk is of a piece with her entire 2016 campaign. It's also of a piece with Obama's 2008 and 2012 campaigns. Clinton insiders make no secret of her desire to emulate him. Obama's 2008 campaign had three hallmarks. One was its fundraising. Obama was the first Democratic presidential campaign to outraise a Republican on Wall Street and the first of either party to crack the code of Internet fundraising. The second was its massive, web-driven, volunteer effort, probably the biggest of any presidential campaign in history.

The third was its message, at once fiercely populist and reassuringly centrist ? and vague. Much of it came from chief strategist David Axelrod who opined that for too long Democrats had been mired down in issues. His campaigns were famous for selling personalities rather than platforms, for finding ways to reconcile our conflicts in the biographies of his candidates. It worked for Obama. "Yes we can," audiences called out. "Do what?" few bothered to ask, or thought they had to.

[Irish Says Enough Woodchippers]

"It worked for Obama. "Yes we can," audiences called out. "Do what?" few bothered to ask, or thought they had to."

I asked this because I'm not a retarded progressive who fell for an obvious personality cult, but maybe that's just me.

[Injun ? Wood Chips and Salsa]

There is some truth to that. I think Sanders is being underestimated. He has a chance in the primaries.

In the general, you never know. Sanders is dangerous. People don't understand economics and markets. They consumed the hope-and-change kool-aid readily, and something like that may just happen again.

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

He has a chance in the primaries.

The Democratic nomination process is geared so heavily towards establishment candidates with established political machines that if anyone other than Hilary gets the nomination, I'll eat my left shoe.

[Zeb]

Given the competition so far, I think you are right.

[The Last American Hero]

Good progressives. Let the hate flow.

[Woodchip-o-Matic 5000]

The Democratic primaries next year will be as messy and insulting as the Republican primaries were in 2012. The media has largely ignored how far to the left the Democratic base has shifted in the last nine or so years.

I suspect Biden or O'Malley will eventually end up with the nomination, but the winner will come out of the primaries as damaged as Romney was a few years ago.

I, for one, am breaking out the popcorn for this shitshow

[Slammer]

I am an adjunct professor who teaches five classes. I earn less than a pet-sitter

The significance of the inclusive fees campaign lies in its implicit question: how will the schools hear our voices over the silence of the tenured?

Even more daunting than the dearth of dollars is the fragmentation of the adjunct's time. Recently, an editor at the University of Oregon School of Law asked if I'd be a conference panelist. Can I travel, yet still clock enough hours at my second job to stay above the threshold for health insurance?

Every day I live two people's lives, and it's fatiguing. Every day I need more time with students while being pulled away from them.

The best that could come of the adjunct crisis is a teaching community broadly committed to the civility and inclusivity we've been missing. This could lead to a new kind of education, based not on ranking, not on status, but on genuine guidance for living with decency and respect on this planet.

Pet sitters!

[invisible furry hand]

In late March, I started a retail job. It offers real days off, and I expect to be eligible for health and dental benefits soon.

Problem solved.

[Illocust]

So why doesn't she become a pet sitter then? It's a no education required job.

[Zeb]

But she got her PhD (I assume), so academia owes her a good job, damn it.

[Tonio]

Nailed it, Zeb. Illocust, that would mean her admitting that her degree is worthless in terms of real-world market value, and that society values a good, reliable pet-sitter more than someone with a degree in underwater basket weaving or grievance studies.

[VG Zaytsev]

Also, no one in their right mind would trust a grievance phd holder to take good care of their beloved pets.

[Florida Man]

I'm paying 700 bucks for someone to watch my dogs while I'm on vacation, sooooo who's the dummy now Prof.? Probably me.

[OldMexican]

Re: Florida Man,

I'm paying 700 bucks for someone to watch my dogs while I'm on vacation

That is one long vacation... or you don't shop around a lot.

[Florida Man]

2 weeks

[Injun ? Wood Chips and Salsa]

The best that could come of the adjunct crisis

Never let a crisis go to waste!

Quick! Call the government! We need common-sense adjust regulation.

[crab_apple]

In other words, the "teaching services" you provide are worth less than doggy day care. Let's sit and ponder that for a few minutes.

[VG Zaytsev]

TL:dr - The market values pet sitters more than a baby sitter for twenty something adolescents.

[LynchPin1477]

According to the United Nations, 2,473,018 people died in the United States in the most recent year data is available, 2008

The Environmental Protection Agency warns 57,000 Americans could die by the year 2100

This sounds like it is a total of 57,000 over the next 85 years. So if the current trend of ~2.5 million people die per year, then climate change will add about 0.02%.

If we are generous and assume an extra 57,000 will die per year in 2100, that is still only about a 2% increase.

I find it hard to believe such an effect could be reliably measured in the first place.

By comparison, obesity kills 111,000 per year in the U.S. What we really need is a rationing system. Cap and trade for food.

[Thymirus]

You jest, but I'd wager money there are officials within the relevantly empowered federal agencies already who espouse such ideas in private with a sincere belief in their necessity and efficacy.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

FLOTUS isn't an "official" position...

[Juvenile Bluster]

Since when?

[Citizen Nothing]

Been out in the wilderness for a bit. Anything of import happen in my absence?
But seriously, folks. I'm sorry I missed the epic woodchipper thread, which surely will go down in history with Salty Ham Tears and some of the other classics. But I was posting in spirit!

[LynchPin1477]

Where in the wilderness?

[Lord Humungus]

STEVE SMITH hunting?

...when the hunter becomes the hunted.

[Citizen Nothing]

I had my camping ax with me at all times, but I don't know if that would have helped.

[SugarFree]

If by "helped" you mean "I would have got raped by an ax," then sure, the ax would have helped.

[Monty Crisco]

At least you bothered to get caught up as opposed to the shitweasel Botard who disappeared as soon as those subpeonas flew and then showed up a week later and said "What's with all the woodchipper handles?"

What a dickbag.

[Igor]

Have you noticed that the level of trolling has diminished considerably since the "forestry product recycling machine" brouhaha?

Maybe we could schedule regular subpoenas to keep the roaches out.

[some guy]

Have you noticed that the level of trolling has diminished considerably since the "forestry product recycling machine" brouhaha?

I don't know. Tony mucked up the gun rights thread pretty good yesterday. Of course, his brand of trolling doesn't usually involve idle threats. He prefers to go almost exclusively with straw men, non-sequiturs and goal-post moving.

[some guy]

Oh, he also likes ad hominem and abandoning sub-threads the moment someone provides a link that proves him completely wrong (whatever that is called).

[Igor]

I'm not sure there would really have been much of a thread without him. A discussion doesn't have much mileage when all participants are pretty much in sync on an issue.

[Citizen Nothing]

The wilds of Put-In-Bay and South Bass Island. An annual camping trip with some of my newspaper colleagues. We had a lot to bitch and moan about around the campfires this year.

[LynchPin1477]

Never heard of it, but I see it's part of Ohio. I guess you take what you can get.

[Citizen Nothing]

Quite beautiful, actually. And a fun little drinking town in the mix.

[The DerpRider]

Roundhouse!

[Timon 19]

The Lake Erie Islands are pretty cool, and I should visit them more often.

Plus, Oliver Hazard Perry!!!!

[Zeb]

I think it will go down as a lot more than a classic thread.

Reason deserves a big commendation for being so committed to the open comment forum here. Having read the story from Friday when they were finally allowed to talk about it, I think they handled it about as well as they could have.

[Citizen Nothing]

Preach it, brother! Amen!

[Elspeth Flashman]

I'm with you. I am so glad reason allows the open comments section, as I don't think we could all be so free otherwise. I hope it continues.

[Zeb]

Nick and Matt definitely get it, even if Nick is too cool to wade into the comments. So at least as long as they are around I think it will continue to be as good as it is.

[John Titor]

Nick may be the degenerate product of Baby Boomer wannabe coolness but he's an alright guy.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

James Horner, renowned composer of many classic movie themes, dies in plane crash

James Horner, the consummate film composer known for his heart-tugging scores for Field of Dreams, Braveheart and Titanic, for which he won two Academy Awards, died Monday in a plane crash near Santa Barbara. He was 61.

His death was confirmed by Sylvia Patrycja, who is identified on Horner's film music page as his assistant.

Horner was piloting the small aircraft when it crashed into a remote area about 60 miles north of Santa Barbara, officials said. An earlier report noted that the plane, which was registered to the composer, had gone down, but the pilot had not been identified.''

The Los Angeles native earned 10 Oscar noms in all, also being recognized for his work on two other best picture winners: Braveheart (1995) and A Beautiful Mind (2001). He also received noms for An American Tail (1986), Field of Dreams (1989), Apollo 13 (1995) and House of Sand and Fog (2003).

His lengthy film r?sum? includes The Lady in Red (1979), Wolfen (1981), Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982) and Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1983), Red Heat (1988), Glory (1989), The Rocketeer (1991), Patriot Games (1992), Searching for Bobby Fischer (1993), Jumanji (1995), How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000), Troy (2004) and The Amazing Spider-Man (2012).

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Red Heat (1988)

One of the most underrated Arnold movies or MOST underrated Arnold movie?

[The Last American Hero]

One of. People always forget about The Villian.

[Florida Man]

He had a hide away wrist gun! How do you forget that! Also they took a slam at Clint and his 44. That took balls.

[Rhywun]

He did 2 Star Treks and they lead with crap like Field of Dreams and Titanic? WTF is wrong with people.

[Would Larry Wayne Jones?]

His heart will go on ::recorder solo::

[Mazakon]

The Environmental Protection Agency warns 57,000 Americans could die by the year 2100 because of climate change and, specifically, poor air quality.

More likely, lots of people will die by 2100 and their deaths will be attributed to climate change.

[Lord Humungus]

drowned by the slowly rising seas.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Everyone has a right to safely lie down on the beach and not get up for 85 years.

[Injun ? Wood Chips and Salsa]

drowned by the slowly rising seas.

Wait. Didn't we turn back the rise of the oceans and heal the planet in 2008?

"...this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on earth."

[Citizen Nothing]

Maybe the EPA plans to bury everyone up to their neck on the beach.

[X[redacted]s]

I'm getting chubby because it's too hot to jog. When i die from the diabeetus, that'll probably count.

[invisible furry hand]

I misread that as "I'm getting a chubby". Nothing surprises me here

[Restor-woodchipper-as]

Yeah, that's how I read it too...

[X[redacted]s]

It's too hot for that too. 🙁

[Thymirus]

They'll be suicides caused by being forced to listen to fucktarded federal busybodies spout horseshit about objectively unpredictable eventualities.

[Zeb]

Yeah. They will count anyone who dies from heat, anyone who dies in a flood. Hell, throw in people who die in car crashes in the snow. I'm sure there are some other obvious ones.

[Rhywun]

But if any of them was ever in the vicinity of a lit cigarette they will have to go in the "smoking" column. Suck it, climate change.

[Rich]

The Environmental Protection Agency warns 57,000 Americans could die by the year 2100 because of climate change and, specifically, poor air quality.

"Nothing to cut."

[Rich]

WARTY, BEWARE!

rhabdomyolysis and bilateral peroneal and tibial neuropathies as a result of squatting

[Lord Humungus]

the idea of Warty wearing skinny jeans is... disturbing...

among many other things.

[Warty]

Holy fuck, that's gross. Rhabdomyolysis is bad news.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Solar storm may allow views of polar auroras for some in United States

A severe solar storm slammed Earth on Monday afternoon, increasing the chances of fluctuations in the power grid and GPS. It also pushes shimmering polar auroras to places where more people can possibly see them.

Federal forecasters said the Northern Lights may be able to be seen Tuesday night as far south as Iowa or Pennsylvania.

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration said a potent blast of magnetic plasma shot out of the sun on Sunday, travelling faster than usual, hitting Earth with the biggest solar storm since March, maybe since September 2005.

NOAA space weather physicist Doug Biesecker said there are no reports of damage, but the electrical grid and GPS probably had current fluctuations that they could handle.

He said the storm could last a day or longer.

[invisible furry hand]

Two teenage girls in Nigeria carried out a suicide bombing, the fourth in the last month in Maiduguri, the birthplace of Boko Haram.

Who wants to bet this wasn't voluntary?

[Injun ? Wood Chips and Salsa]

No man. There is no compulsion in Islam.

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

The future does not belong to those who slander the Prophet Muhammad!

[Notorious G.K.C.]

"Two teenage girls in Nigeria carried out a suicide bombing"

Fuck those child-killing terrorist bastards right up the ass.

[Teenage Girl]

Eewww!!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Now, now. Don't you be generalizing like that.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Huffington Post: Send us photos of Confederate monuments across America

In the wake of last week's racist massacre at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina, there has been an increasingly vocal uproar calling for South Carolina to stop flying the Confederate flag on the grounds of the state capitol.

But symbols of America's shameful history of slavery persist elsewhere around the country, far beyond South Carolina. The Edmund Pettus Bridge in Alabama -- site of the famous "Bloody Sunday" civil rights march in 1965 -- is named after a Confederate general. Jefferson Davis, the president of the Confederacy, is memorialized in the names of counties, roads and public places. Even U.S. military installations bear the name of Confederate officials.

Until last year, Alexandria, Virginia, required that certain new streets bear the name of Confederate leaders.

We want to know if this legacy still exists in your town. Take a photo of a place in your town that bears the name of a Confederate leader and send it to us at [e-mail]. Or put it up on Twitter or Instagram with the hashtag #HeritageOfHate. Be sure to include where the photo was taken and which Confederate leader the place is named after. We'll post some of the submissions here.

Watch them overreach and try to purge all memory of the Confederacy from the country.

[Thymirus]

Of a good dozen people I regularly hold sociopolitical conversations with, none oppose Confederate banners being displayed. Four of them are black, and one's Japanese-American. That sample is my anecdotal evidence. Fuck the Huffington Post.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I hate the Lost Cause bullshit and regard the Confederacy as fundamentally based on an evil concept that you can own human beings as property.

That being said, some of the most brilliant generals in modern history fought for the Confederacy and that's absolutely something I think a mature and enlightened society can be proud of and be okay with naming military installations and monuments after.

[Tonio]

And Sherman was a war criminal if we're being honest about things. Which isn't to defend the Confederacy on moral grounds, but to point out the double-standard at work here.

[OldMexican]

Of the fact that Lincoln was willing to compromise on the slavery thang if only the Southern states stayed in the Union and implemented the tariff like the good northern industrialists wanted them to?

[John Titor]

The Civil War really should have been a big sign to Europe that warfare was changing. Minie bullets vastly increased battlefield deaths. You have generals like Lee, Jackson and Sherman who end up innovating tactics that were highly influential on 20th century warfare.

[Irish Says Enough Woodchippers]

There are very few people who actually care. If you were to poll people, maybe a majority would say it's inappropriate, but it's not something the majority of people spend any time worrying about.

This is a small minority freaking out so loudly that people think they're larger than they are.

[RAHeinlein]

From HuffPo this AM:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/.....lp00000592

[Rhywun]

There's a guy in Brooklyn near me who became slightly notorious for hanging the unambiguous symbol of hatred, racism and treason off his balcony rail where it's visible for miles around. For the lulz. Sounds like something one of us peanuts would do.

[chipper me timbers]

trying to figure out what's wrong with treason. Especially compared to hatred and racism.

[Certified Public Asshat]

Where is Sarcasmic?

Nobody messes with this mother's babies! Brave rabbit's epic battle with a snake after catching it trying to eat her bunnies

A protective mother rabbit fought off a big black snake as it was trying to devour its young - before engaging it in an epic tussle.
The amateur video of the fight between the snake and rabbit has gone viral on YouTube, being viewed more than 1,6million times.

[Lord Humungus]

+1 Watership Down

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Snake, come on back if you ever wanna try again
I kicked your ass, and this is one thing you won't wanna tell your friends

[sarcasmic]

That's one badass rabbit. Hope the snake is OK. I like rat snakes.

[The Shrubber's Woodchipper]

I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it? Well, it's always the same. I always tell them--

[Would Larry Wayne Jones?]

fought off a big black snake as it was trying to devour its young - before engaging it in an epic tussle.
The amateur video

Not a partial description of a STEVE SMITH incidence?

[Thymirus]

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2.....n-contest/

New low: ISIS reportedly gives away sex slaves as 'prizes' in Koran contest

ISIS has already committed countless unspeakable acts on Yazidi and Christian girls and women in Iraq, but the terrorist army may have reached a new low with a twisted new contest in which female slaves captured in war are given away as "prizes" to fighters who show the have mastered the Koran.

Last November, ISIS reportedly unveiled a menu of sorts for women and children for sale with women 40 and 50 years old sold for just $40, girls between 10 and 20 years old auctioned for $129 each, and children under 10 commanding higher prices. A Human Rights Watch report issued in April documented continued organized rapes, sexual assault, and other horrific crimes against Yezidi women and girls kidnapped from their homes and held as captives in Iraq and Syria.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Given that the US essentially created ISIS, I'd say that it's at least impossible for us to create an even worse group while fighting ISIS, but...

[Restor-woodchipper-as]

And, since the US created it and ISIS is utterly abhorrent and evil, teh Stars and Stripes should no longer be the US flag as it represents and institution of pure evil.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

This is sub-Bond-Villain levels of evil.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Left-wing academics are so full of compassion and understanding

This house flies a Confederate flag.

I don't live in South Carolina or even Maryland. I live in a small town in Central Pennsylvania, 50 miles north of Gettysburg -- the site of the most famous victory of the Civil War. Yet even here, a few hundred feet from my front door flies the unambiguous symbol of hatred, racism and treason.

Normally, this would elicit some fleeting contempt and I would go about my day. But with the slayings in Charleston very much on my mind, I found myself getting angry... very angry.

Angry at this person, this "neighbor" of mine. Angry at the culture that permits such blatant hatred. Angry at the media who provide cover for the ignorant. Angry at the teachers who perpetuate historical falsehoods. Angry at myself for not being angry before.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

You see, I study traditional culture. More specifically, I study the ways in which today's culture manufactures and reinforces traditions through mass media. Folklorists have a unique disciplinary perspective for this sort of analysis because there was this period of time when the field was mired in "romantic nationalism." The "true character" of a people was said to be rooted in the culture of the volk and was glorified and incorporated into more modern political movements. Like Nazism. So folklorists have a keen interest in serving as the sort-of keepers of cultural authenticity, if you will. If anyone should be highlighting the ways in which "traditions" are being manufactured, distorted and consumed, it is us... me.

[snip]

I hate Gone With the Wind. I hate everything about it. I hate its portrayal of the Civil War. I hate its portrayal of Southern aristocrats. I hate its popularity. I hate that it's become an iconic movie. I hate that it was ever made in the first place.

Gone With the Wind is Birth of a Nation with less horses. The movie, and its position among the American cinematic pantheon, has done more to further the ahistoric Lost Cause bullshit than any other single production. Because that's the fundamental problem with the Lost Cause narrative: it's not true.

What I find most amusing is that this guy didn't know what to hate until he was told to do so by the media.

[Irish Says Enough Woodchippers]

And yet more evidence of my thesis that most people don't give a shit, here's the top rated comment:

"Jonathan Marquise ? Top Commenter ? West Springfield High School
perhaps if you had a real job, and produced something in society, you wouldn't hate so many things.
Reply ? Like ? 672 ? Follow Post ? about an hour ago"

[Je suis Woodchipper]

he wins everything.

[Je suis Woodchipper]

I don't think this writer knows what traitor or treason means.

[Tonio]

Nor does he seem aware of the pardons and amnesty granted to the CSA troops.

Most Confederate soldiers signed an oath of allegiance in order to gain status as a United States citizen. In 1863 President Lincoln issued a proclamation to grant pardon or amnesty to Confederates. President Johnson issued an amnesty proclamation on 29 May 1865. Under the 1865 proclamation, former Confederates who had not been pardoned in 1863, could receive amnesty. First they had to take an oath to defend the Union and Constitution, and obey federal laws and proclamations regarding slavery. These were similar to that issued by President Lincoln in 1863. The pardons issued in 1865-1867 were normally not to Confederate soldiers, but to other individuals who supported the Confederate cause.

[Certified Public Asshat]

I don't live in South Carolina or even Maryland.

What?

[Irish Says Enough Woodchippers]

Those are the places hick racists live. It is said that at the Summer Solstice, the entire population of Charleston dances around a titanic burning cross while chanting incantations passed down to them from the Dark Mage, Nathan Bedford Forrest.

[Tonio]

Maryland, while not part of the Confederacy, used to be considered a Southern state. They did plantations and slavery. The Mason-Dixon line, demarcating the South from the North, is the Maryland/Pennsylvania border.

[Certified Public Asshat]

Right, but still, unless I am blind I do not see confederate flags flying allover Maryland.

[Tonio]

Try some of the more rural areas to the South and East of Baltimore and DC.

[Je suis Woodchipper]

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/.....9314.html#

Bernanke wants to keep Hamilton on the $10, lose Jackson from the $20.

I agree with Bernanke that Jackson would probably be happier not associated with Federal Reserve Notes. Keeping Hamilton on the Fed Reserve Note works for me since he's a pansy.

[straffinrun]

Absolutely. Put Jackson on a Bitcoin. Oh, wait.

[The Last American Hero]

Pansy? Be careful, one of his descendents may challenge you to a duel.

[hamilton]

hey, fuck you, buddy!

[Woodchip-o-Matic 5000]

If you think Colonel Hamilton was a pansy, sir, you know nothing about him. You, sir, are a scoundrel and our differences can only be settled in an affair of honor.

As an alternative to actually dueling, however, I propose you read Ron Chernow's biography of Hamilton. He was a lot of things, but pansy wasn't one of them.

[Je suis Woodchipper]

Chernow's synthetic narrative of Hamilton was adapted into a Broadway hip-hop musical.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

NBC cancels 'Hannibal'

NBC is closing the book on Hannibal.

The network has canceled Bryan Fuller's Silence of the Lambs prequel series after three seasons. The full 13-episode third season will run its course on Thursdays at 10 p.m., concluding Aug. 27.

Sources tell The Hollywood Reporter that there may have been a rights issue at the center of the decision to end the series as Fuller had wanted to introduce Clarice Starling in season four, with the rights to the character previously portrayed by Jodie Foster said to be unavailable. Producers Gaumont TV are currently exploring options to find another home for the series, with EP Martha DeLaurentiis confirming as much via Twitter.

"NBC has allowed us to craft a television series that no other broadcast network would have dared, and kept us on the air for three seasons despite Cancelation Bear Chow ratings and images that would have shredded the eyeballs of lesser Standards & Practices enforcers," Fuller said in a statement. "[NBC Entertainment exec] Jen Salke and her team have been fantastic partners and creatively supportive beyond measure. Hannibal is finishing his last course at NBC's table this summer, but a hungry cannibal can always dine again. And personally, I look forward to my next meal with NBC."

All the best, most original shows get cancelled. While 'Glee' gets 8 seasons.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

They thought the fans would eat it up.

But the series left a bad taste in the audience's mouth.

It was half-baked.

[SugarFree]

I've heard that they couldn't secure the rights to Silence of the Lambs, so they had no where to go for a fourth season. I haven't found any verification of that.

It's too bad, I would have liked to see what they could have done with Buffalo Bill and Clarice.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

There are some rumors that Amazon wants to buy the rights but I've read the same thing regarding the Starling character. Plus, Fuller is now signed on as a showrunner for American Gods (which I'm very excited for but a little nervous that HBO pawned off onto Starz).

[SugarFree]

Starz did OK with Outlander, didn't interfere too much with the production and didn't try to force it to be Game of Thrones.

It was still a product of it's source material, so Starz didn't make it better, either.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Haven't read the Outlander books but I actually enjoyed the show. It has its faults but overall the production value and the acting was quite good. Those last couple of episodes were pretty rough. I've actually never seen a "Viewer Discretion Advised" warning of the type that they put up before the finale.

[MoriahJovan]

I love me some bodice rippers and I am a very patient and forgiving reader, but I chucked Outlander after 50 pages. Couldn't even make it to the spanking scene.

[OldMexican]

The Environmental Protection Agency warns 57,000 Americans could die by the year 2100 because of climate change and, specifically, poor air quality.

It is fortunate that our immortal robot selves will be there to witness that event and prove the EPA right.

[OldMexican]

Modern humans and Neanderthals may have interbred in Europe thousands of years later than previously believed.

It certainly does change the landscape for a lot of families and their photo-albums

"See here, darling? That's your grand-grand-grand-GRAND pappy Ugh! And here's your aunt Ginny!"

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

A racist gun walked into a church and shot people.

Good riddance to the Confederate Flag, but it wasn't a piece of cloth that killed nine people in Charleston, it was a gun

There was a time when Americans needed guns, to wage a civil war that transformed the country and a war of independence to get rid of the British when our King George III got a little ahead of himself.

But that time has long gone.

Guns in civilian hands are now as anachronistic as any racist flag, a constant reminder of a violent, divided America.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....n-gun.html

[sarcasmic]

Piers Morgan is an authoritarian coward who is only in the states because he faces arrest if he goes home to jolly old England.

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

Piers Morgan is an authoritarian coward who is only in the states because he faces arrest if he goes home to jolly old England.

I thought he moved back to England already after setting himself up as one of the most reviled "journalists" in America.

[sarcasmic]

Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought he was still in the states, dodging a phone hacking scandal across the pond.

[invisible furry hand]

Piers Morgan made some silly comments about Australian cricketers. He then doubled down by agreeing to face six bouncers bowled by an Australian fast bowler. Enjoy...

[OldMexican]

Guns in civilian hands are now as anachronistic as any racist flag

You should all be fortunate to have someone like Morgan to tell you that guns are obsolete because...

...

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

"...when our King George III got a little ahead of himself."

Tells you everything you need to know about the political philosophy of Piers and his ilk.

[mad.casual]

In all fairness to Piers, our leaders have all but done away with the very notion of the last well-organized group of armed rebels to be a serious threat to the hegemony.

While I certainly agree that the Constitution enshrines the right to bear arms and maintain a well regulated militia, it is anachronistic.

Civil War II will/would be so much more one-sided than the first, it's not even sad.

[OldMexican]

The rapper Puff Daddy was arrested by campus police at UCLA on a charge of assault with a deadly weapon.

He started to sing. Somebody could've gotten hurt!

[Elspeth Flashman]

OT: Guess who gets to write a bar journal article about medical marihuana act, employment law, and ballot proposals for legalization!?

[Woodchip-o-Matic 5000]

Hitler?

[OldMexican]

Dr. Ben Casey?

[Tonio]

Congrats, Elspeth.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

A gay Mexican?

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

(congrats btw!)

[invisible furry hand]

Well done. Make sure to give us the details when it's published so we can make saucy jokes about it

[Elspeth Flashman]

Thanks all! I'm _really_ excited about it. So I definitely will make updates.

[OldMexican]

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio is looking to hire 1,300 new police officers in his $78.5 billion budget.

But if he wasn't such a cop-hater, he would've asked to hire 1,301 new police officers! So he still has his principles!

[Enough About Woodchippers]

Modern humans and Neanderthals may have interbred in Europe thousands of years later than previously believed.

Back when we humans were not racist.

[X[redacted]s]

PFF. STEVE SMITH NOT IMPRESSED WITH BARELY INTER-SUB-SPECIES BREEDING.

[adolphowisner]

This will be the down fall to the greatest country on the planet. too many leaches think they are entitled to other peoples earnings. ????? http://www.Workweb40.com