A.M. Links: Obama Signs USA Freedom Act, FIFA Scandal Widens, Marijuana Church Gets Tax-Exempt Status

• 

  Credit: White House / Flickr.com

  President Barack Obama has signed the USA Freedom Act into law.

• As the FIFA corruption scandal widens, Interpol has issued wanted person alerts for two former senior officials of the soccer organization.

• Condemned Texas inmate Lester Bower Jr. is scheduled to die today by lethal injection after spending 30 years on death row. At 67, he will be the oldest inmate put to death in Texas history.

• Indiana has granted tax-exempt status to the First Church of Cannabis.

• "Greece threatened to miss a loan repayment to the IMF this week, opening the way for possible default, just hours before creditors were expected to present an ultimatum offering Athens funds in return for economic reform."

• Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal will officially launch his 2016 White House bid on June 24.

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and don't forget to sign up for Reason's daily updates for more content.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

President Barack Obama has signed the USA Freedom Act into law.

Phew. Safe again.

[WTF]

The terrorists nearly won!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Hello.

"President Barack Obama has signed the USA Freedom Act into law."

I liked it better when it was called the Constitution/Bill of Rights.

[Bobarian (sexbot hand model)]

Something something old white slave owners...

[jester]

No. He fucking 'sighed' it into law. He has that kind of power.

[Jerryskids]

President Barack Obama has signed the USA Freedom Act into law.
.
He hasn't said yet what he has decided the law means, has he? More money for Head Start? A new airport for Des Moines? A declaration of war on Tonga? Coconuts are now covered by the Migratory Bird Act? Who knows what the law might possibly mean when he gets done with it?

[Fist of Etiquette]

...Interpol has issued wanted person alerts for two former senior officials of the soccer organization.

Interpol? Soccer? All we need for this story to be less American is discotheques and month-long paid vacations.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

...and Speedos.

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

The Shame of Switzerland finally resigned.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Reluctantly.

I'm sure sponsors had a say in twisting his arm.

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

79 years old - I think he won the Corruption Olympics. 4 decades of theft, bribery, kickbacks, etc.

[Cdr Lytton]

Like Kristen's comment yesterday about the Myers.

[Rhywun]

And the fun has just started. Russia and Qatar are going to feel mighty foolish for all the money they blew to buy the World Cup.

[Rhywun]

Or he knows that the investigation has nearly reached him already so fuck it.

[jester]

He was the guy with the gold from exterminated Jews' teeth?

[Bee Tagger]

They're doing a hostel-to-hostel search.

[Bee Tagger]

Maybe some unnecessary letter Us and Es.

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

Centre your honourable words at the Lycee?

[Rasilio]

And Umlauts, everything is more badass with Umlauts

[Agammamon]

Blacker than the blackest black times infinity.

[Bee Tagger]

... and open discussion of politicians' mistresses.

[Lord Humungus]

Will Smoking Pot Get Rid Of Your Intestinal Worms?

The 400 members of the Aka tribe, indigenous to the Congo River basin in Africa, are some of the last remaining hunter-gatherers in the world. Collectively, they're also pretty into smoking marijuana, which might help them keep their bodies rid of harmful intestinal parasites, according to a recent study published in the American Journal of Human Biology. To the researchers, this may offer a different explanation for human drug use: an unconscious drive to rid ourselves of parasites.

[Rich]

You know who else had a drive to rid himself off parasites ....

[Brett L]

Gaia?

[Catatafish]

Epi? Oh, you said "rid himself of."

[straffinrun]

OJ?

[Bobarian (sexbot hand model)]

I don't believe he was unconcious when he did that.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

That guy in that movie who was like, "No way!" And then he took that thing and was all like, "Aaaaarrrgggghhh!!!" And the parasites were all, "Ee eeeee eee eeeeeeeee!!!!" And the the guy went BAMBAMBAMKABLAAAM!!! And he killed the parasites and everyone was all like, "Yaaaaaaaayyy!" That guy?

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

No, the other guy!

[Bobarian (sexbot hand model)]

Are we talking about Nathan Fillion?

[Aloysious]

Agent Smith?

[Dweebston]

+1 it's the smell

[Beautiful Bean Footage]

Reasonoids?

[mr lizard]

Space Marines?

[Agammamon]

Uh, sir - some lawyers are here to see you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zSxQnZ3TM8

[Brett L]

Huh. And here I thought the bath-dodging some potheads engage in was merely a conscious lifestyle choice.

[Florida Man]

Simpsons bonobos did it!

http://www.evoanth.net/2015/01.....t-illness/

[Fist of Etiquette]

Indiana has granted tax-exempt status to the First Church of Cannabis.

Jesus' not here, man.

[WTF]

"No, I'M Jesus, you owe me for the landscaping!"

[Rich]

Indiana has granted tax-exempt status to the First Church of Cannabis.

Where the *hell* is Loretta Lynch?!

[PBR Streetgang]

During the state level RFRA brouhaha in Indiana I recall being told that the Hoosier state was a theocracy ufit for business or the NCAA. This story seems inconsistent with what the media said a few months ago. Is there an explanation?

[Dweebston]

Opposition to RFRA was mostly puerile nonsense by anti-Christian ideologues?

[Lord Humungus]

This explains a lot:

New Jersey Residents Advised Not To Eat Fish From The Sewer

Not that it ever seems sanitary to eat a fish found on the sidewalk, but this week's deluge has reportedly pushed a bunch of New Jersey fish out of their pond and stream homes and sent them up through the sewers, and officials are warning residents not to consume them. You know what they say: give a man a fish and you'll feed him for for a day, but give a man a fish found in a sewer drain and he'll have diarrhea for a lifetime.

Newark's Health and Community Wellness Department went so far as to issue an official alert yesterday after news reports showed residents catching fish swimming upstream on a flooded street. Authorities say the fish may have come in contact with bacteria and other contaminants during their journey through the sewer. That ain't good eatin'. "This is a dangerous practice and residents are urged to refrain from trapping, catching, and eating any fish caught on the streets," Dr. Hanaa Hamdi, the department's director, told reporters.

[Warty]

LAZY NEW JERSEY JOKE TIME

Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm in New Jersey but then I roll down my windows to smell the smell and if it smells bad then I know I'm in New Jersey because New Jersey smells bad. ZING

[Fist of Etiquette]

It's funny because it's true.

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

*rimshot*

[WTF]

LAZY CLEVELAND JOKE:

Cleveland

[Warty]

HEY GUYS DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE RIVER THAT CAUGHT ON FIRE BECAUSE CLEVELAND IS DIRTY AND POLLUTED AND ITS RIVER CAUGHT ON FIRE AND THE BROWNS

[WTF]

Hey, hey, I had the decency not to bring up the Browns.

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

"You think Cleveland is Cool?I have never heard anyone say they are going to Cleveland on vacation"

/Joakim Noah

[Florida Man]

Burn! Also Swiss, did you get a chance to try Hendrick's yet?

[Catatafish]

The gin or the Christina? I'm jealous either way.

[Florida Man]

They're both quite tasty.

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

No - I shall remedy that next time I am out and about.

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

Er....the gin that is.

[Florida Man]

*looks around*
Your wife visits this site sometimes, huh?

[The DerpRider]

May I suggest mixing that Hendrick's with St. Germain? Tasty.

[Florida Man]

Hmm. I'd never heard of St Germain. I'll keep an eye out.

[Shpip]

First Blush

2 1/2 oz Hendrick's
1 oz St-Germain
1 oz fresh lemon juice
2 dashes Peychaud's Bitters

Add all to a shaker half-filled with ice. Shake vigorously for 20 seconds, strain into a cocktail glass or coupe. Optional garnish: one mint leaf

You will thank me for this later.

[Pro Libertate]

Leave that place, Warty, while you still can.

[WTF]

Why would he leave? Warty rules with an iron fist Doomcock.

[Timon 19]

Question for Warty/those familiar with the Doomcock:

How big is it really and which direction does it point?

[R C Dean]

How big is it really

Too big.

which direction does it point

Directly at you.

[Xeones]

As the Doomcock exists in 17 dimensions, only 4 of which can be directly (and unfortunately) experienced by humans, it is impossible to say with certainty where it is pointed at a given moment.

[Timon 19]

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[John]

Warty is going to end up like Charlton Heston in the Omega Man.

[Idle Hands]

No Warty is going to hooded leader of the troglodytes trying to kill Charlton Heston, he is an anarchist after all.

[Pro Libertate]

No, he's Heston, but he won't stop killing, and no Christ-like sacrifices by him. He also is unmoved when he sees the destroyed Statue of Liberty, mostly because he's more interested in Nova.

[Azathoth!!]

No, he's Heston, but he won't stop killing, and no Christ-like sacrifices by him. He also is unmoved when he sees the destroyed Statue of Liberty, mostly because he's more interested in Zira.

FTFY

[Warty]

Soon. Soon.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Their number 1 export is crippling depression!

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

+ 23 "Our economy's based on LeBron James"

[Free Society]

At least we're not Detroit.

[Colonel Slanders]

That's right FS, Cleveland ain't shit. I AM from Detroit!

[Rich]

Which exit?

[gaijin]

Coney island whitefish?

[SugarFree]

"This one is so chewy."

[MJGreen]

Go Whitefish!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal will officially launch his 2016 White House bid on June 24.

Is officially any less less inspiring that unofficially?

[jester]

Would you ever buy something that wasn't "the Official" whatever of the whatevereth whatever?

[Injun, as in from India]

For the record, this Indian doesn't like Bobby Jindal.

If Paul get the nomination, I will vote for him. If not, it will be the LP candidate.

[Bo Cara Esq.]

Cato Institute Fellow: Paul and Rubio offer better chance at beating Hillary than Bush and Walker

"A recent CNN/ORC poll finds 75 percent of Republican partisans prefer that their party nominate a "presidential candidate who can beat the Democratic candidate," while only 25 percent prefer a nominee who agrees with them on issues that matter most to them. This clashes with partisans' reported preferred candidates for the Republican nomination. Numerous polls find disproportionate support among partisans for former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush and Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker; however, U.S. senators Rand Paul and Marco Rubio perform better in general election matchups against likely Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton."

http://www.cato.org/publicatio.....ry-clinton

[jester]

Beating Hillary...c'mon, even Bill never did that.

[Injun, as in from India]

Rand Paul? NO NEVILLE CHAMBERLAIN!

/neocon

[Brett L]

My Monster Magnet Pandora station tried to play Hotel California this morning. Fuck you, Pandora! The Eagles? Because I also liked Eagles of Death Metal? Eat a bag of dicks, Pandora programmers. You ruined my morning.

[This Machine]

+1 Stoned Jet Fighter

[gaijin]

Has your Temple of Dreams been destroyed?

[The DerpRider]

And replaced with Temple of the Dog?

[Warty]

Fuck I love Monster Magnet. THIS IS MY LAST CRUSADE

[EDG reppin' LBC]

I was so high at a Monster Magnet concert one time, I was floating about 8 feet above the crowd. Good concert.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You don't like Pandora's fucking music, get your own fucking cab!

[Catatafish]

The Space Lords are not pleased.

[Ted S.]

Listen to classical music instead. :-p

[Brett L]

I'm pretty sure Dopes To Infinity qualifies as classic metal now.

[Ted S.]

There hasn't been anything new in music since the death of Josquin des Prez.

[Rasilio]

Not even from Lou Reed?

[bacon-magic]

Did you have an urge to build a cage around the sun?

[jester]

Put him to death...before he beats the system by dying of natural causes.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Greece threatened to miss a loan repayment to the IMF this week, opening the way for possible default...

IMF is going to be stuck mowing Greece's lawn as the Greeks walk away.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Meh. The IMF is what the Mafia would like if it bothered to draw up a fake charter.

[some guy]

I blame the obstructionist Republicans.

[jester]

I say: man-on-boycott Greek yoghurt.

[Lord Humungus]

It's time to start the Rand Paul 2016 death watch: Why he may be finished already

To put it gently, that is not the current situation Paul finds himself in. On the contrary, Paul now finds himself in a GOP with an ascendant neoconservative wing, one that is especially cocky because, despite being utterly discredited by the Bush years, it never truly lost its hold over the party overall. Instead of hitting the campaign trail to talk about liberty and innovation and Big Brother and states' rights, Paul finds himself having to explain why, no, invading Iraq in 2003 was still not a good idea; and, no, the reason ISIS exists is not because President Obama wasn't trigger-happy enough. It's like he's at a big Thanksgiving dinner and all anyone wants to talk about is religion and politics.

This isn't the only reason why Paul is reportedly having a great deal of trouble raising money. But it's definitely in the top five,

TRIGGER WARNING: SALON

[Brett L]

Rand Paul is losing! Stay on the plantation! Its suicide to leave and it would just be a futile gesture!

[Pro Libertate]

"Who is this Rand Paul person? He is a Republican, therefore de facto icky, but he strangely appeals to me. I am so confused. Norman coordinate."

[Ted S.]

Gotta love the concern trolls.

[WTF]

They must be terrified of Paul.

[jester]

He should change his money bombs to money jihads?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Just look what your money bomb reference triggered.

[Charles Easterly]

Isn't that the guy who saved the Earth from Martians a few years ago?

[Fist of Etiquette]

That was Slim Whitman.

[Charles Easterly]

+1 Bouffant hair-do

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2bL18UsUzw

[R C Dean]

Paul now finds himself in a GOP with an ascendant neoconservative wing,

Aside from media-amplified blather from long-time neocons taking advantage of Obama's abysmal foreign policy incompetence to say "See? We were right all along.", what basis is there for this?

[Bo Cara Esq.]

Cato Institute: Time to privatize the TSA

"Private airport screening is a successful approach used by other nations. All major airports in Canada use private screening firms, as do about three quarters of Europe's major airports. That practice creates a more efficient security structure, and allows governments to focus on aviation intelligence and oversight. Over a decade of experience has shown that the nationalization of airport screening under the Bush administration was a mistake. Let's learn from reforms abroad, and bring in the private sector to boost the quality of our aviation security system."

http://www.cato.org/blog/after.....vatize-tsa

[jester]

The TSA loves privates. Should work.

[Bo Cara Esq.]

Yes, the TSA is quite fondle privates.

[Injun, as in from India]

Privatize them, and let doctors delegate testicle and breast exams to them. It will turn out cheaper in the long run.

[Idle Hands]

Wasn't the excuse for the tsa, originally because of skyrocketing insurance costs due to 9/11 would make flying completely unaffordable? Or was it just because TERROR!?

[Free Society]

Just terror! Insurance companies are not exactly convinced that things get safer with government monopolized security personnel and protocols in place.

[Idle Hands]

I don't know where I picked up the insurance thing, maybe because it sounded retardedly plausible. Never underestimate the power of terror!

[Monty Crisco]

Yeah, that must be why they were so overwhelmingly opposed to Obamacare....

Waitaminit....

[Puddin' Stick]

Everyone loves subsidies and mandates for themselves...

[Rich]

Self-Driving Cars Will Cause Motion Sickness 'Often' to 'Always,' Study Finds

Oops!

[Ted S.]

One wonders whether the study is from a group that has a vested interest in seeing self-driving cars don't become reality.

[Rich]

Or from Big Dramamine.

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

Big Barf Bag?

[Rich]

Nice band name.

[Charles Easterly]

... and alliteration.

[Xeones]

Isn't that the name of Warty's failed restaurant chain? I tried to tell him that real chili can NOT have noodles in it, but you know those Ohioans...

[Florida Man]

Oh no! People who already get motion sick in cars will keep getting motion sick in self driving cars! Better rely on choo choos.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The key for those people is to keep their eyes on the horizon, even when they're not driving. Me? I plan to be sound asleep when the time comes to have the car itself drive me to and from work.

[Florida Man]

OMG! Brain wave. Put beds in these cars and sleep in them the night before work. You can wake up at your job!

[Fist of Etiquette]

You can wake up at your job!

Easy there, tiger.

[Florida Man]

I hate getting up early. Anything that gets me more sleep, I'll gratefully accept.

[Pro Libertate]

You know, there's going to be an awful lot of sex in automated cars. . .while they're driving, I mean.

[Florida Man]

You know it it, brother!
*high fives ProL*

[Florida Man]

it
*chugs coffee*

[Fist of Etiquette]

Goddamn Floridians.

[Pro Libertate]

Yes, but we're insanely influential. Where do you think the degradation that is reality TV got its start? Seriously, watch COPS sometime. The shit is all in Florida.

[Florida Man]

As a nexus for vacation our culture is spread far and wide. Like herpes.

[MJGreen]

I'm gonna sit back and have my bowl of cereal. Then maybe jack it once or twice.

[Florida Man]

Well you already have the bowl.

[Agammamon]

Obviously you've never seen Its Always Sunny or you'd no not to eat cereal in the car.

[Pro Libertate]

Often to always? Pray tell, how is being the not-driver in an automated car different from being a passenger in a human-operated car?

[Injun, as in from India]

NEXT STEP: Invent a self-driving car powered by human vomit.

[Pro Libertate]

Powered by human fear.

[gaijin]

First Church of Cannabis.

What's to prevent anyone from creating a First Church of [me]? We could all be tax exempt!

[Rich]

It's SO easy to join!?

[gaijin]

For He had created...creation.

The metaverse! I'm in.

[Free Society]

crazy eyes she has...

[Free Society]

Tarvu (sometimes referred to as Lord Tarvu, Our Saviour, Master of The Tarvunty, His Brilliance, Giver of the Word, Giver of Words, Tebbu, Thebbu, Thaddu, Ah-Haut, Tinvu, Tarh-Shenty, Sheppartarvi, Mr. Invisible, Tarvoobi, Mr. 9, His Loveliness, Friend of Amzamiviram, Octunatatov, The Dude, Uvrab, The Non-Worrier, The Negative Barvu, Saviour of the Seas, Lord Belly-Fonty, Octish Warrior, Lord of Octopuses, The King of Sex, He-Him, Mike Fantastic, The Tipperarian) came to Earth (Erbu) 3,000 to 3,500 years ago. His followers set up, what is now one of the oldest and largest religions in the world - Tarvuism.

The Dude Abides. Amen.

[Elspeth Flashman]

Scientology had a problem with being considered tax exempt for this reason. Or a reason similar to it. (I do some tax-exempt law too, just fyi).

[R C Dean]

I continue to be baffled by how an tax exemption for churches isn't a per se violation of the Establishment Clause.

[Elspeth Flashman]

It seems like the SCOTUS filter is: traditional religion = not a cult = OK to give deduction /exemption. And religious orgs are considered public organizations, give back to the community, etc. But this (religious group exemption) is obviously not the same sort of public organization as a library group, amateur sport club, and so on.

[R C Dean]

I think the SCOTUS filter is more like:

The Constitution only prohibits the government giving special favors to religions we don't like. Or, at least, that we can get away with saying we don't like.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Source: ADP? (Automatic Data Processing)

ROSELAND, N.J. ? June 3, 2015 ? Private sector employment increased by 201,000 jobs from April to May according to the May ADP National Employment Report?. Broadly distributed to the public each month, free of charge, the ADP National Employment Report is produced by ADP?, a leading global provider of Human Capital Management (HCM) solutions, in collaboration with Moody's Analytics. The report, which is derived from ADP's actual payroll data, measures the change in total nonfarm private employment each month on a seasonally-adjusted basis.
....

Strong dollar, low oil prices dampen strong jobs report.

[WTF]

Welcome to Retardation: A Celebration. Now, hopefully, I'm gonna dispel a few myths, a few rumors. First off, the retarded don't rule the night. They don't rule it. Nobody does. And they don't run in packs. And while they may not be as strong as apes, don't lock eyes with 'em, don't do it. Puts 'em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming "No, no, no" and all they hear is "Who wants cake?" Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.

[jester]

Up the minimum wage and weaken the dollar. There is a way to pay for everything.

[straffinrun]

Don't forget to ignore employment numbers and focus on unemployment numbers.

[Charles Easterly]

- And only count some of the unemployed while you're doing that, because counting those who have given up looking for work would paint a more truthful and even bleaker picture.

[jester]

Who needs employment when he's getting a check without working?

[Charles Easterly]

My pride?

[Cdr Lytton]

Such an old fashioned sentiment. Join the 47% who lack such dignity.

[Injun, as in from India]

Anyone seen Xeones?

[jester]

No. Was it any good?

[Steve G]

INNNNNJJJJJUUUNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

was that what you were referring to...

[PM]

On the other hand...

Don't celebrate the low unemployment numbers. They're masking a really big problem.

Since the end of the last recession, in June 2009, the unemployment rate has appeared to drop from 9.5 percent to 5.4 percent. But the entire drop came from declining labor force participation. None came from the faster-than-population-growth job growth that is expected and required of an economic recovery.

[PM]

Oh, by the way, retard's favorite lie about all the Baby Boomers conspiring against Obama and retiring 10 years early is dealt with in the article.

[Elspeth Flashman]

He's not a retard. He's a lying sack of poop.

[WTF]

They are not mutually exclusive, you know.

[CatoTheElder]

There has been recovery since the depths of the recession, no doubt. But look at the numbers of full-time jobs:

Nov 2007 - 121.9 million - peak full-time employment
January 2009 - 115.9 million - Obama inaugurated
March 2015 - 121.0 million
April 2015 - 120.8 million

Nary a full-time has been created during the recovery: six years on, and the number of full-time jobs is lower than the previous peak. April 2015 was actually lower than March, and PB is celebrating. Compare that with similar period during the last significant recession.

Feb 1980 - 83.2 million - peak full-time employment
Jan 1981 - 83.1 million - Reagan inaugurated
April 1987 - 92.4 million

Six years on, and the number of full-time jobs was up 11%. That's what a real economic recover looks like.
January 1981 - Reagan inaugurates

[R C Dean]

You dig a little deeper, and you discover that population growth means there are more people without jobs, and a little deeper still and you discover that the number of new jobs since the recession tracks pretty closely with the number of immigrants since the recession.

IOW, if you are an American citizen, the labor market hit a floor during the recession and has not come off of it by so much as an inch. Now, we can argue all day (and have!) about whether immigration policy should take any notice whatsoever of the economic impact on actual Americans, but the outcome of this "recovery" is what it is.

This is an economic success?

[wadair]

That's not a weak jobs report--it's flaccid. You keep trying to make the Obama administration look successful, but do the opposite instead.

Progressivism is just bad for commerce. That's all there is to it. Obama's agenda has stifled economic activity with FUD, and no amount of your bullshit will make it look any better.

[Lord Humungus]

George W. Bush outpolls Barack Obama

Americans now have a more favorable view of former President George W. Bush than they do of President Barack Obama.

It is the first time in more than a decade that Americans have expressed a favorable view of Bush, at least according to a new CNN/ORC poll released Wednesday.

Bush is seen in a favorable light by 52 percent of those surveyed, compared with 43 percent who still view the 43rd president unfavorably. Americans are split on Obama, with 49 percent responding favorably and unfavorably.

[Ted S.]

FAKE SCANDAL!!!111!!!

[creech]

Just due to passage of time. I,for one, think more highly of James Buchanan now than I did fifty years ago.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Indiana has granted tax-exempt status to the First Church of Cannabis.

I am reminded of bible verse Cheech 4:20...

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

That is printed on hemp, yes?

[straffinrun]

Zig Zags.

[jester]

I thought it was in Paul's 1st Epistle to the Rastafarians.

[Elspeth Flashman]

what about the Sermon on the Monte Carlo. "Blessed are the reef-makers. . . "

[jester]

The Wedding at Cana(bis)? The Parable of the Friend with Weed? Got-Fried Day?

[Palin's Buttplug]

Source: ADP? (Automatic Data Processing)

ROSELAND, N.J. ? June 3, 2015 ? Private sector employment increased by 201,000 jobs from April to May according to the May ADP National Employment Report?. Broadly distributed to the public each month, free of charge, the ADP National Employment Report is produced by ADP?, a leading global provider of Human Capital Management (HCM) solutions, in collaboration with Moody's Analytics. The report, which is derived from ADP's actual payroll data, measures the change in total nonfarm private employment each month on a seasonally-adjusted basis.
....

Strong dollar, low oil prices dampen strong jobs report.

[WTF]

Welcome to Retardation: A Celebration. Now, hopefully, I'm gonna dispel a few myths, a few rumors. First off, the retarded don't rule the night. They don't rule it. Nobody does. And they don't run in packs. And while they may not be as strong as apes, don't lock eyes with 'em, don't do it. Puts 'em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming "No, no, no" and all they hear is "Who wants cake?" Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.

[Weigel's Cock Ring]

Yes, I'm such a fucking retard I have to post my stupid links twice!

[Bee Tagger]

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal will officially launch his 2016 White House bid on June 24.

Giving me time to forget before the announcement will only help me forget after it.

[Injun, as in from India]

Now there is one more non-white Republican that the New Yorker can unperson in its white-male locker room portrayal of the Republican Party.

[Cdr Lytton]

He'll be the towel boy to show how racist the republicans are.

[Injun, as in from India]

LOL. Good one.

And Fiorina will be shown in a bikini with a bunch of dollar-bills in her underwear.

That should round out the racist, sexist narrative nicely.

[Cdr Lytton]

That's a MAN, baby.

[Lord Humungus]

Hell Is Working at the Huffington Post

The brief history of HuffPost?a mere ten years old?is filled with stories like that. It is essentially Soviet in its functioning. Purges and show trials are common, especially if you've been hired on the basis that you might bring some journalistic firepower to the site. The problem is that any authority those people amass is seen by Arianna as a threat to her position, and so the threats are eliminated. Knowing your place is the best way of getting ahead at HuffPost. (It's no accident that Roy Sekoff?who is almost universally derided in the newsroom as a sexist embarrassment?is, despite his painful hackishness, HuffPost's most enduring employee, since he's also Arianna's longtime ghostwriter and confidant.)

[Rufus J. Firefly]

A faux-liberal, middling intellectual socialite is insecure with her position?

Tickle me surprised.

I'd still lick her lips though. Was that internet sexual assault?

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

Intrawebz Rape!

[Ted S.]

Corollary of Rule 34:

Everybody has something that turns them on that the rest of the world would consider a bizarre kink.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Indiana has granted tax-exempt status to the First Church of Cannabis.

Jesus is just alright with weed.

[Bo Cara Esq.]

Liberal Warns the Democrats: Don't ignore Rand Paul's appeal to 'techie' Democrats (then proceeds to make light of it because can't resist juvenile name calling)

"Every time Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul assails mass government surveillance on the floor of the Senate, it is surprising to see who emerges to praise the erratically unorthodox Republican, from Edward Snowden to Glenn Greenwald to true-blue progressive reporter Marcy Wheeler. This support comes with caveats, of course. But the lefty applause for Paul also arrives at a moment of a distinctly lacking enthusiasm for Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. More importantly, these plaudits align with many of the concerns of a quiet but influential contingent of liberal-leaning techies who might one day become Rand Democrats?or Democrats willing to support some other, future right-wing firebrand with lefty-compatible ideas about civil liberties?much in the way disaffected blue-collar workers became Reagan Democrats. Think of them as the New Randroids"

http://www.slate.com/articles/.....et_it.html

[Free Society]

Democrats willing to support some other, future right-wing firebrand with lefty-compatible ideas about civil liberties

The left's ideas about civil liberties are less than impressive. Group rights, forced association and social justice to name a few.

[John]

Maybe if the left would not have abandoned civil liberties, they wouldn't have to worry about it. God forbid anyone do any reflection or criticize the party.

[Free Society]

And that's the other thing. When they do show concern for legitimate rights and liberties, it all evaporates as soon as someone with a D next to their name is the one doing the infringing.

[Injun, as in from India]

The left's supposed love of civil liberties vanished after Obama got in to office in 2009.

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

Why do you continue to do this?

[Bo Cara Esq.]

?

[Florida Man]

Read slate?

[Bo Cara Esq.]

It's cultural stuff is not to bad sometimes (meaning reviews of cable TV shows).

[PM]

Being in complete agreement with the editorial stance of the publication doesn't hurt either.

[Bo Cara Esq.]

Lol

[PM]

I know right? It's exactly like the flagrantly retarded accusations you hurl around here, only actually true. TOP KEK!

[Free Society]

The "cultural stuff" he likes at slate is otherwise known as "cultural marxism"

[Lord Humungus]

Godzilla gets official Tokyo residency papers

Being a busy part of a busy city, you have to expect at least a little bit of a paperwork backlog from Shinjuku's civil servants. As of May 25, though, the cinematic icon is officially a resident of Shinjuku Ward, and to celebrate, the powers that be have even drawn up a special residency document listing the star's name, date of birth, address, and other particulars.

The document reads:

Name: Godzilla
Address: Shinjuku-ku, Kabukicho, 1-19-1
Date of birth: April 9, 1954 [the year of the release of the very first Godzilla film]
Date of becoming a Shinjuku resident: April 9, 2015
Reason for special residency: Promoting the entertainment of and watching over the Kabuki-cho neighborhood and drawing visitors from around the globe in the form of the Godzilla head built atop the Shinjuku Toho Building.
Previous visits to Shinjuku Ward: 3 times; "Godzilla" (1984), "Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah" (1991), "Godzilla 2000 Millennium" (1999)

[Catatafish]

"Mothra - who is of Mexican parentage - sat fuming in the corner of Tokyo's lone taqueria. 'I been here almos' as long, meng.'"

[Florida Man]

The Japanese aren't big fans of immigration. I had a friend who thought Japan was better in every way than America. He looked into immigration and found out they don't allow immigrants. I guess his Mexican wife had to admit there was at least one thing the U.S. Is better at.

[Tejicano]

I would say that, if you have an education or a provable skill, Japan is an easier place to get a work visa than America is.

The lifestyle takes more to get used to but that's a different issue.

[Florida Man]

He wanted to be a citizen. I don't think they allow that. He looked into, so I took him at his word.

[Tejicano]

Ah, citizenship is a big hurdle here in Japan. On top of all the admin and length of residency you have to test at near-native language ability in Japanese.

[Monty Crisco]

Not if you marry a Japanese woman...

[Tejicano]

If you marry a Japanese citizen it makes getting permanent residency easier - not automatic like in the US - but citizenship is still very difficult.

[Agammamon]

No non-Japanese who's ever lived in Japan would ever say its better in every way than America.

A very few, very specific ways - sure. But it kinda sucks otherwise.

[The DerpRider]

This seems appropriate here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cxV8Bf8ND4

[Free Society]

Appropriate anywhere. Bless you, sir.

[Tejicano]

Kabukicho? WTF? Everybody knows Godzilla's statue is in Hibiya which is basically on the other side of town.

[straffinrun]

Kabukicho? I don't remember Godzilla giving head at soap land.

[Tejicano]

He was the bouncer, natch'.

[Elspeth Flashman]

He already has to pay restitution damages to Tokyo though, for all the damage he's done to Tokyo Tower over the years.

[Lord Humungus]

Poll: Hillary Clinton Weakens on Trustworthiness While Jeb Bush Slides Into GOP Free-For-All

Indeed, while Bush has lost ground in the contest for the GOP nomination, Clinton does less well against him in a head-to-head matchup. The gap between them has closed from 12 points to three ? 47-44 percent, Clinton-Bush, among registered voters, vs. 53-41 percent two months ago.

Bush, at the same time, has even greater difficulties with personal favorability than Clinton, and a far weaker home base. He's lost 11 points in support for the nomination among Republicans and GOP-leaning independents who are registered to vote, from a front-running 21 percent in March to 10 percent now, smack alongside Scott Walker and Rand Paul (11 percent apiece) and Marco Rubio (10 percent). Mike Huckabee has 9 percent support, Ted Cruz and Ben Carson, 8 percent each.

[Lord Humungus]

British army tank crushes learner's car

For the second time this year, a British tank has been involved in a public crash while out on exercise in Germany.

This time a tank drove over the bonnet of Toyota which was being driven by an 18-year-old woman who was still a learner driver. The soldiers were able to rescue the woman from the car and no serious injuries were reported.

[WTF]

Someone tell the Brits the war is over.

[Charles Easterly]

"Someone tell the Brits the war is over."

+1 Murphy's War

[Jordan]

Hopefully they haven't crushed any schoolgirls, unlike the U.S. Army in Korea.

[Florida Man]

They rescued her? Like how a cop rescues you from a beating when he throws you into the paddy wagon?

[Fist of Etiquette]

The tank ran over her bonnet and she's not injured? Either that's one thick skull or she wasn't wearing it.

[tarran]

Two countries separated by a common language.

[Cdr Lytton]

Did the tank have one of those "Army Driver. Be the Best." bumperstickers on the back? Those cracked me up on the back of their tactical vehicles.

[Cdr Lytton]

Like this http://tinyurl.com/orsyll4

More readable version on page 2 http://www.darts-dlo.co.uk/doc.....ort_07.pdf

[Certified Public Asskicker]

I was reading the Deadspin Funbag yesterday and this stood out:

I would like to see the success rate of any bar or restaurant featured on these shows. It has to be close to 0 percent. They basically force every episode into the same story arc. This bar sucks! Uh oh, here comes Jon. Oh no, the bar owner is stubborn! But now he's incorporated a couple of new techniques, and maybe things will turn out okay! They NEVER turn out okay. Every time they did an update of Kitchen Nightmares, Ramsay would go back to the restaurant, and it had reverted back to being the same shithole it was before. Any show that rests on the conceit of terrible people changing their ways is bound to prove ineffective in the long run.

By the way, someone (not me) should go photograph all the houses that were built a few years ago on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. I bet those joints look like Athens Olympics venues by now.

So, just giving people things/money doesn't change their underlying behaviors and pull them out of poverty? Shocking!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Duh?

The few episodes I watched of Kitchen Nightmares made clear these were people who had no business owning restaurants. It's not rocket science to run a restaurant. Basic concepts of keeping the kitchen clean, being customer oriented, cooking fresh, not stealing from the cash, communicating like a human being should be naturally part of a person in such an enterprise. But that takes hard work and discipline to accomplish and the majority of those people clearly didn't have it. They had other issues independent of the business that condemned them to failure.

[Ted S.]

You were reading Deadspin?

[Jordan]

It's sad how even that has become nothing but another SJW soapbox.

[John]

All institutions that are not explicitly right wing, will eventually become left wing. Leftists are totalitarian fascists and will subvert and destroy any institution they are allowed to infiltrate.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

Jalopnik and Foxtrot Alpha are mostly free of the SJW disease, but that's about it. The latter in particular has some real gems--Denton must have been out of the office the day they hired that site's key writer.

[Certified Public Asskicker]

Drew Magary is generally funny, but he also lets his Prog Flag fly on occasion.

That's why I found it amusing that him/Gawker media in general wouldn't connect the dots on why giving people more money doesn't fix their lives.

[John]

Every one of those shows gives a six month followup. And about half of the places take the advice to heart and are doing better and the other half quickly regress to what they were.

My wife used to watch those shows and from what I saw you could divide the subjects up into three groups; people who were too lazy to run a restaurant, people who worked hard but were too stupid to run it and too bullheaded to listen to advice, and people who worked hard but had no idea what they were doing but were willing to listen. The third group usually recovered. The success rate is most certainly not zero.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I think the odds of long-term success were a little worse than that, John.

http://www.grubstreet.com/2014.....rates.html

[John]

But what are the odds of any restaurant or bar being a "long-term" success? Pretty low. And what is long term? As I am sure you know working in the industry, the definition of success and doing well for a few years and staying afloat until your landlord cancels your lease or the competition becomes more trendy.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Yeah.

Side tidbit. Ramsey invested in a chicken BBQ restaurant here in Montreal on fashionable Laurier st.

It closed.

[John]

At some point guys like Ramsey have stopped being chefs. I am sure at one point Ramsey was a hell of a chef. But he doesn't do that anymore. It is one thing to own a restaurant or two and still be the executive chef and be down in the trenches most days. When you start owning multiple restaurants on different continents and doing TV shows, you are no longer a chef. You are a business executive and TV personality. Nothing wrong with that but people shouldn't call you a chef anymore.

[Rasilio]

In the food industry they treat the title "Chef" with similar reverence that most people treat political offices so anyone who could have ever claimed the title chef gets to keep it for life

[Timon 19]

Bourdain seemed to come to terms with that pretty much immediately with the No Reservations show.

Or at least that's how it seemed to me.

[John]

He has Timon. He freely admits that he is no longer competent to work at his friends' restaurants. He did a No Reservations a few years ago where he and some big name French Chef friend of his went back and worked one night as line cooks at La Halles, the New York restaurant where Bourdain was executive chef when he wrote his book. It about killed him. The French guy, who is an executive chef at one of the best restaurants in the world ran the grill station to perfection. But Bourdaine barely hung in there. He also says that it is physically very hard to be a restaurant chef after you hit 50. The job is just that physically demanding.

[Timon 19]

I saw that one. Thought it was a fantastic episode.

Eric Ripert was the Frenchie.

[Elspeth Flashman]

I watched the show too, it was fun. I have to admit I like Ramsey and what he gave was common sense advice. It's not like he was trying to turn every place into a haute cuisine place: just do what needs to be done, stay within your budget, and you can keep customers and be successful.

But I also like Ramsey on Hell's Kitchen when he was a total asshole.

[sarcasmic]

Bar Rescue Updates

Running Total Of Episodes That Have Aired - 22 of 78 Bars Have Closed, 54 of 78 Bars Are Still Open, 2 Bars Sold

[Certified Public Asskicker]

So Taffer really does embrace solutions.

[WTF]

His solutions also generally embrace providing said bars with tens of thousands of dollars in free improvements.

[sarcasmic]

Changing the concept and training the crew doesn't hurt either.

[WTF]

Yup, doing all the market research for them and creating a new concept to cater to the market demographics in addition to the expensive re-design surely helps.

[robc]

Of the 54 though, most still have crappy reviews. They survive, but you can't fix stupid.

[The Last American Hero]

We need a poliical version where Ramsay can go in and straighten out budgets and civil liberties.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

President Barack Obama has signed the USA Freedom Act into law.

The White House also issued a statement reminding the American people that NSA reform was his idea all along and that they're welcome, despite the meddling efforts of a certain senator.

Guess we really can't expect him to develop a sense of shame now, right?

[Bo Cara Esq.]

He's been publicly for reforming it ever since it was leaked to the public against his best efforts!

[Jordan]

This bill doesn't even count as reform anyway. The dead giveaway is that Obama and the NSA both support it.

[Rich]

Mysterious Red Mark Beneath Painting of Crucified Christ at Newport Church Leads Pastor to Speculate on Jesus' Presence

The Christian Post out-Onions The Onion.

[Ted S.]

It's blood from the afterbirth.

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

I'm betting on rust from the nail holding the painting up

[Free Society]

Indiana has granted tax-exempt status to the First Church of Cannabis.

Kill the non-believers!!! Too soon?

[Bo Cara Esq.]

Did they draw a picture of the Prophet Marley?

[Catatafish]

I'm awaiting the Toshunni and Marleyite civil war.

[Ted S.]

Non-believers should be stoned.

[Rich]

*** giggles uncontrollably ***

[Charles Easterly]

Oh, nice.

[straffinrun]

+1 communion reefer.

[Catatafish]

*golf clap*

[Free Society]

You...you're alright.

[Steve G]

Stealing the hell outta that

[Idle Hands]

Where should poor people live?

There are few states or municipalities that have laws targeted at exclusionary zoning. Three states?Massachusetts, Rhode Island, New Jersey?have "exemplary interventions" to address exclusionary zoning, according to a paper by Rachel G. Bratt and Abigail Vladeck of Tufts University. Montgomery County Maryland also has a similar intervention. Other states, such as Oregon and Texas, prohibit mandatory inclusionary zoning requirements. In places that don't strive to promote integration, segregation is likely to be prevalent.

"The market is going to work to de facto disadvantage lower-income residents," Bratt told me. "The theory is that in order to deal with segregated patterns, you need to have proactive policies to deal with it."

Many affordable housing units in the suburbs are a direct result of court cases, and even enforcement of those programs are lax. In 2009, Westchester County in New York signed a desegregation agreement and agreed to build and market hundreds of apartments for moderate-income minorities after a court found it had misled HUD by applying for funds that it said it would use to integrate housing, and then did the opposite. Four years later, the county had not complied with the provisions.

[Idle Hands]

I really don't understand how someone can correctly identify how zoning laws are problematic and yet think the gov. should be handed even more money to fix a problem they created. It's truly mind boggling. How about we let people live where they can afford.

[WTF]

How about we let people live where they can afford.
Because of things like the NJ Supreme Court's Mount Laurel decision, which basically states that "you have the right to live wherever you want, whether or not you can afford it". This is New Jersey's ""exemplary interventions" to address exclusionary zoning". Which makes as much sense as saying "You have the right to drive any car you want, whether or not you can afford it", so Mercedes and BMW must be required to manufacture and sell "affordable" models so low-income people can drive them, too. No, it doesn't make any sense, but New Jersey has been ruled by progs for decades now.

[Rich]

"The theory is that in order to deal with segregated patterns, you need to have proactive policies to deal with it."

Oh, you zany eggheads!

[Warty]

There's nothing like a Section 8 enclave in a rich neighborhood to promote the classless society.

[Idle Hands]

And that has no negative impact on property value whatsoever. It's almost like the market readjusts property values based on demand.

[Florida Man]

They honestly believe if poor people live next to them, the rich will rub off. It's why you put your bad apples with the good. They all get fresher!

[Idle Hands]

Well in their defense cash does cure aids.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

The only place poor people should live is in hell!

/Monocled libertarian owner of slave orphans in Somalia.

[Azathoth!!]

For the social engineering they'd like to have a chance?

One house per block, no houses to be directly across from one another.

Being the poor kid among better off kids can 'rub off' somewhat.

When poor people cluster they can reinforce each others bad decisions as 'normal'. This is how counterproductive cultures spread.

When there's one family among better off people you can get some resentment, but if they're even halfway human, the milk of human kindness will flow. Why? Because the block can help out one poor family. They can't cope with 50.

But this is, for all the good it might do, statism writ large.

[Rich]

Could our brains stay forever young?

While the experiments were carried out in an organism with a somewhat simpler brain than humans ? nematode worms ? they answer an important question about the cryogenic process. Overall there are not many creatures capable of being revived after being cryogenically frozen, and it has never been successfully achieved with any mammal.

So, Ima say "No".

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

While the experiments were carried out in an organism with a somewhat simpler brain than humans ? nematode worms

That's great news for shriek

[Florida Man]

It's like the more complicated something is, the more fragile it is.

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

Your point is completely lost on the average socialist

[Florida Man]

Look with enough laws and regulations, your life will be so much simpler. Give in scruffy. You couldn't possible run your own life.

[sarcasmic]

Freedom means asking permission and obeying orders.

[Lord Humungus]

Chris Hughes, Publisher of The New Republic, to Hold a Fund-Raiser for Hillary Clinton

Chris Hughes, the publisher of The New Republic, and his husband, Sean Eldridge, will hold a fund-raiser for Hillary Rodham Clinton's presidential campaign, two people briefed on the invitation said.

The event will be held on June 30 at the couple's Lower Manhattan home, the people said.

Mr. Hughes, a co-founder of Facebook, and Mr. Eldridge have sought in the last few years to become political players. Mr. Eldridge lost a race for Congress in upstate New York last year in which Mrs. Clinton recorded automated phone calls supporting him, despite the fact that polls showed him trailing badly before Election Day.

[db]

http://fallout.bethsoft.com

[Jordan]

Can't fucking wait!

[db]

Not much longer...

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

Only 33 minutes till I find out how much time I'm going to waste running away from Deathclaws and ghouls

[db]

Prediction: many mutant-years

[Catatafish]

I'm seriously going to break shit if they say "Christmas 2016."

[Rich]

Somebody else please click that first.

[Jordan]

It's Fallout 4.

[Rich]

Well, at least it's SFW then.

[SugarFree]

NO RELEASE DATE?!?

[Catatafish]

Oh what the everloving FUCK? It looks awesome but this has delay, delay, delay written all over it.

[Catatafish]

Maybe they are going to announce at E3 next week?

[db]

GRRRRRRRR.

[Lord Humungus]

How Caitlyn Jenner won Bruce Jenner's Olympic medals

"I'm not dissing him! I just don't want to forget his legacy!" Bell wrote ? in another tweet he later deleted. "He is the greatest athlete of all time! Chill out!"

There's no doubt that it's insensitive for former Nickelodeon stars, news organizations and just about anyone to refuse to refer to someone by the name he or she prefers ? whether that person is Malcolm X, Cary Grant, Muhammad Ali, Chelsea Manning or Jay Z.

But Bell's insensitive declaration raised an interesting point.

Did Bruce Jenner or Caitlyn Jenner win those Olympic gold medals and appear on those TV shows? And if Caitlyn Jenner did, must history be rewritten? Is every source that refers to "Bruce Jenner, record-breaking athlete" ? or "Bruce Jenner, guest star on 'Silver Spoons'" ? now in need of a correction?

[Rich]

Is every source that refers to "Bruce Jenner, record-breaking athlete" ? or "Bruce Jenner, guest star on 'Silver Spoons'" ? now in need of a correction?

YES! Think of the JOBS!

[db]

One word: Prince.

[John]

That is is one of the dumbest things I have ever read. It is so stupid it is hard to even know how to respond to it. It is like one of those really stupid and pointless questions particularly dim but earnest undergrads ask in their into to modern philosophy class.

[Bo Cara Esq.]

How should Kareem Abdul Jabbar's yearly records of note be recorded?

[John]

As Lou Alcinder until he changed his name. The same way Lloyd Free's records are recorded. More importantly, changing the name is not the "rewriting history" the author is referring to. The rewriting history is saying that a woman did those things rather than a man, which is absurd and idiotic.

[Rich]

Footnote: *These things were done by a woman trapped in a man's body.

[Bo Cara Esq.]

We could put *these things were done by someone who had yet to have realized there is only one God and Muhammed is his prophet after Cassius Clay's accomplishments.

[Bo Cara Esq.]

I've seen his records listed as Lew Alcindor, but only in older record books. It seems to me that if its the same person who has just legally changed his name (has Jenner?) the newly recognized name should be the one to use.

[John]

Changing the name is not "rewriting history." The history of 1960s college basketball is no different because we call Lou Alicinder Kareem Abdul Jabaar in the record books or accounts. It is the same person no matter what the name. So that is not what the author is talking about.

[Bo Cara Esq.]

If the person whose legal name is now Caitlyn Jenner was the person who accomplished those things, it seems appropriate to say that, ditto for Lew (not Lou) Alcindor/Kareem Jabbar or Clay/Ali. It seems hidebound to keep the records in a name the person has abandoned and no longer legally applies.

[PM]

Legally changing one's name doesn't retroactively change all of one's public records (in fact, changing even your basic public record information after a legal name change is a gigantic pain in the fucking ass). The Olympic Committee being a private organization, you could always leave it to whatever policy they have.

[Florida Man]

Jenner should have his medals striped for fraud! He was competing in the men's events when she was a woman! Shame!

[WTF]

He should have done this before competing in the Olympics, it would have been a lot easier to beat a bunch of women.

[Pope Jimbo]

+1 Renee Richards

[The DerpRider]

How about Fausto Carmona?

http://sports.yahoo.com/news/l.....--mlb.html

[Rich]

But seriously, John, what is reality?

[VG Zaytsev]

Whatever the collective approves of.

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

"Why should I give a shit?" is the correct question.

Greece melting down, ISIS running rampant in the Middle East, China asserting itself in the South China Sea, Russia in Ukraine, and every other news report is about an aging athlete with body issues. Seriously, great for Bruce/Caitlyn but I really don't care any more than I care about Kim Kardashian's latest case of VD.

[Restoras, BHS]

You forgot the worst part; the US government is $18T in debt with $100T of unfunded liabilities. Oh, and CA and IL will want bailouts. And student debt is $1T.

I'm sure it'll work out ok, though. It always has before.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Heh.

Silver Sppons.

[Cdr Lytton]

There you go:

http://www.olympic.org/cassius-clay

Still listed under Clay, but the athlete profile page for him uses the name Muhammad Ali (which incidentally is also the name of a non-medaling 1952 contender from Pakistan).

[Pope Jimbo]

Progressive school brings sex ed class to local sex shop "Smitten Kitten". Some parents outraged.

http://www.startribune.com/min.....305770831/

Of course they broke a law! Don't be silly.
http://www.startribune.com/aft.....305892001/

City inspector bravely goes undercover and busts Smitten Kitten for city ordinance violations.

[Rich]

Director Starri Hedges, who also teaches the school's sex education class, said she wanted to provide a safe and welcoming environment for students to learn about human sexual behavior.

Emphasis added. Uh, huh.

[Rich]

the visit capped a monthslong sex education class.

Just like a condom capped a teninchlong dildo.

[Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns]

They brought 11 year olds to a sex-shop? This is one of those instances where I think parents being pissed is pretty reasonable, given that no permission was asked for the outing.

[Ted S.]

Alcohol education should be that, since the kids are going to drink anyway, we should teach them to do it responsibly.

Suggest that at any school board meeting, and watch sparks fly.

[WTF]

And include a field trip to a local dive bar.

[Jordan]

Has anybody else whatched Kung Fury?. It's a really well-made parody of 80s schlock.

[R C Dean]

Oh, yeah. Various commenters have been flogging it since it came out.

Wonderful. Just, wonderful.

[Citizen Nothing]

And here we go. My rag, the last of the major family-owned stand-alone dailies, was sold this morning. I, for one, welcome our new corporate overlords.

[Bo Cara Esq.]

Hey, it happened to Don Draper.

[Elspeth Flashman]

Sorry to hear it.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I can't possibly be the only who thinks the EU fears of Greece defaulting is a tad over blown.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

By fears of default I mean it's impact.

[PM]

The EU can't afford to let the rest of its member states know that there are no consequences for defaulting on hundreds of billions of dollars in loans looted from ze Germans.

[Florida Man]

Is this how WWIII starts? Greece can't afford it debts so it starts invading and stealing.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I know that's one angle but not enough.

Germany aren't the only ones who pile cash into the EU and stand to lose some coin. The UK, France and Italy are all net givers to the EU. At some point, it's all just messy numbers. For example, 90% or 120% of government debt to GDP isn't good. And in this way, the big EU members are similar.

http://bit.ly/1SVZgaL

[Injun, as in from India]

loans looted from ze Germans

Nazi war reparations should cancel out the loans borrowed by the Greek deadbeats.

In fact, Nazi war reparations should cancel out ANY wrong that ANY country does to Germany.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Keep note for treasures looted from Italy and Jooooos!

[Sevo]

Depends on how much Greek paper makes up the 'wealth' of various banks. If it's enough to collapse one bank, it could spread.
It was paying a hell of a premium, so someone was buying it.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Maybe. I'm just getting the distinct feeling (political bluffing notwithstanding), the EU is partly scapegoating Greece a little to mask problems in respective economies.

And I by no means absolve Greece for their own economic mismanagement and corruption.

[Mike M.]

There is a very real risk of the EU coming apart at the seams, which probably doesn't mean much to most normal people, but the idea is borderline catastrophic to left-wing big government globalists.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

But that won't be Greece's fault. They may 'trigger' it but it would be misleading to claim it began with them anymore Ferdinand was the sole reason for WWI. There are, as we all know as students of history here on these threads, there's more to a story.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Excuse the poor grammar.

[R C Dean]

I can't possibly be the only who thinks the EU fears of Greece defaulting is a tad over blown.

It depends on the derivatives markets. Those Greek bonds may be (and almost certainly are) supporting many multiples of their value in derivatives.

Derivatives being vaporized is what set off the last financial crisis and recession. So, naturally, we have as many or more in circulation today. And, the central banks have very little they can do to paper over another derivatives collapse, other than just outright money-printing and blatant transfers of vast sums of money to banks and investors to make the derivatives whole again.

Whether the derivatives market has immunized itself against another collapse, I couldn't say, but I haven't seen anything that makes me think it has.

There's good reason to be worried.

[Mike M.]

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal will officially launch his 2016 White House bid on June 24.

Dipshit Dalmia is frothing at the mouth and boiling up rabbits as we speak.

[Warty]

Speaking of dipshits. Fuck off, moron.

[Mike M.]

Go fuck yourself, idiot.

[The Late P Brooks]

My rag, the last of the major family-owned stand-alone dailies, was sold this morning.

Who died?

[Citizen Nothing]

The newspaper industry. Family keeping broadcast properties.

[jester]

Donald Horn of Racine, Wisconsin died yesterday.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I NEVER SAID I WOULD DO CAITLYN.

You got me on Anne.

Always had a thing for Creepella from The Flintstones. Something about a woman who eats tea cups.

[Pope Jimbo]

This is why you never cross the river Tundra.

Nothing good in St. Paul.

[Catatafish]

I honestly didn't think human pectoral muscles could do that. My belief in Thor's ability to crack the world in two is now complete.

[Florida Man]

They mumbled something about TPS reports.

[Citizen Nothing]

Company-wide meeting at 11 a.m. Wheeeeeee!

[Pope Jimbo]

Could be worse. My kid sister moved back from St. Paul to S Mpls. Now I have to deal with her and her nonsense again.

[Pope Jimbo]

She used to work for MPR. Does that answer your question?

She isn't too bad. There are certain subjects that she goes off the rails on, but for the most part she is still pretty normal.

[Catatafish]

"We'd like you to spend some time with our consultants..."

[Bobarian (sexbot hand model)]

It gets cold in Canada in the winter, and what better way to stay warm than snuggling up to a...

skinny, leathery, and reptilian harpy???

Damn, Rufus... Caitlyn is probably the most femine of the bunch.