PATRIOT Act Provisions Expire, American Student Stops ISIS Suicide Bomber from Entering Mosque in Saudi Arabia, May Deadliest Month in Baltimore in 40 Years: A.M. Links

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  The Senate allowed a number of provisions of the PATRIOT Act to expire at midnight last night, thanks in large part to the efforts of Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.)

• A Wichita State University student visiting Saudi Arabia is credited with preventing an ISIS suicide bomber from entering a mosque there, but the student, Abduljalil Alarbash, as well as his brother and cousin, were killed when the bomber set himself off.
• A heat wave in India has killed 2,000 people so far, and is expected to last four or five more days.
• May was the deadliest month in Baltimore in more than 40 years.
• A new Google Chrome extension replaces the names of Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio with "Florida Man" in headlines, and replaces references to "Florida Man" with Bush or Rubio. Jeb Bush approves.
• Secretary of State John Kerry is in the hospital in Geneva after crashing his bicycle while in France.
• Vice President Joe Biden's son Beau Biden died of brain cancer this weekend, aged 46.

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Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

The Senate allowed a number of provisions of the PATRIOT Act to expire at midnight last night...

Terrorists, start your terror engines!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Hello.

Trying to be first is like attempting to be the 9th caller through.

[Idle Hands]

Why does Rand Paul want to shit on the children? Did he learn nothing from Boston Strong?

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

Terrifying!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Terrifying is Toews in a tough Game 7!

[Fist of Etiquette]

I can't count on the Ducks for anything.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Same thing with Mallards.

Stupid Mallards.

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

Sometimes you get used to him, being a Hawks fan - then he just reminds you - "hey, I am extraordinary".

[AceDroman]

Go Bolts.

[Slammer]

What time is the ISIS ticker tape parade up Broadway?

[mr lizard]

Now is a great time to troll them to see if they actually shut down

[straffinrun]

Terrorists, stop seaching search engines.

[some guy]

And I'm sure an executive order went out to immediately cease and desist all collection activities, right? Right.

[Idle Hands]

Wanted: A Theology of Atheism

I'd come for Sunday Assembly, a godless alternative to church founded in London in 2013. A cheerful woman with a name tag stood and promised a crowd of about 40 people "all the fun parts of church but without any religion, and with fun pop songs." The band led us in secular "hymns" like "Walking on Sunshine" and "Lean on Me." The day's guest preacher, a Ph.D. candidate from Duke, described his research on bonobos and the biological roots of our species' instinct to help one another ? the "seeds of a nature that is good," he told us.

Palm. To. Face. Cannot stop laughing.

[SugarFree]

Talk about missing the point.

Sunday is for sleeping in, fellow atheists. And brunch, if you swing that way.

[mr lizard]

You know who else liked to swing at brunch?...

[Xeones]

The cast of Portlandia?

[Restoras, BHS]

Jeremy Clarkson?

[mr lizard]

The action you took at that specific location has been observed

[Libertarian]

King Louie?

[mr lizard]

You too have been witnessed commiting a past-tense activity in the defined location

[Rasilio]

I heard there was this church in Nashville that likes to swing

[Idle Hands]

you really should read the whole thing, it's quite the page turner.

[WTF]

Who doesn't like brunch?

[Xeones]

Hitler?

[Medical Physics Guy]

Protesters seeking to disrupt white spaces!!!1!

[Rhywun]

An activist tweeted that some Sweet Melissa's patrons shoved and threatened protesters; one table apparently yelled, "Our breakfast matters."

Someone's a wag.

[Mike Laursen]

Amen.

[MJGreen]

Homer Simpson taught us this 20 years ago.

[Florida Man]

"Look at me! I don't believe in stupid religion, but I'm going to copy it to show you how I don't care!" Idiot.

[OneOut]

Is thast you Jeb ?

Rubio ?

[Fist of Etiquette]

You'll be listening to an endless loop of Katrina and the Waves IN HELL, YOU HEATHENS.

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

Welp, now I'm ready to be baptized

[SIV]

Hobby supplies

[BardMetal]

What exactly are the fun parts of church?

[SugarFree]

Sexual access to children?

[Catatafish]

Dude, come on. Everyone knows the congregation doesn't get that benefit.

[B.P.]

Rudderless people seeking out community traditions when those have mostly collapsed. But I'm sure they feel all transgressive about it. If you're going to be an atheist, just do so.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Note that oppressed women spend so much more than they earn.

The Female Economy

Women now drive the world economy.

Globally, they control about $20 trillion in annual consumer spending, and that figure could climb as high as $28 trillion in the next five years. Their $13 trillion in total yearly earnings could reach $18 trillion in the same period.

...Women make the decision in the purchases of 94% of home furnishings?92% of vacations?91% of homes? 60% of automobiles?51% of consumer electronics...

[Idle Hands]

Women have their own money now? how cute.

[Catatafish]

I'm no mathematician but apparently roughly 1/3 of what they spend actually ISN'T their own money.

[What's that smell?]

It's very simple really. All married men know that her money is her money and your money is her money.
So the "income inequality meme is for single broads.

[Rasilio]

Yeah this is pretty much true.

Even if that is not how your marriage is supposed to work, if you spend any money on any thing or make any financial decisions she will damn well make sure you regret it one way or another.

[AlexInCT]

That's why I got rid of mine. No more regrets and my finances are finally in order.

[Slammer]

$28 trillion

That's a lot of sammiches

[some guy]

But if women are buying sammiches now, then who is making them?

[Ted S.]

Robots, since the restaurants can't afford to pay the $15 minimum wage.

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

Robots, they're just like the White Walkers.

*overly detailed explanation to follow*

[Ted S.]

I thought they were like Adam Lanza.

[straffinrun]

And they have to pay for it by doing unspeakable things to their husbands. Perverts.

[Fabi]

If only.

[Lady Bertrum]

I'm calling this a microagression!!11

(the truth hurts)

[Hey Nikki!]

Yeah, it's totally never been a feminist complaint that women had to manage households instead of making money outside the home

[mad.casual]

No SUV is built to accommodate a mother who needs to load two small children into it.

Yeah, my wife cries into her cereal every morning over this problem and then drives to work in her SUV.

Considering that you can't keep our 2-yr.-old from climbing in or on virtually any vehicle and buckling himself in, I can only imagine these women must've lost both legs and any car-shopping abilities in a war and then given birth to twin 25 lb. retarded leeches that can't sit in a stroller and have to be handled constantly.

The only way I can make sense of this statement is if they envision the average woman driving around and $82,000 'The Homer'.

[B.P.]

There are some real head-scratchers in that article when they start talking about the utility of consumer goods.

[C. Anacreon]

lol wut?

The whole reason for SUVs (unless you seriously go off-roads or into snowy mountains) and Minivans is so women can load their children in to the back seats without bending over. Otherwise these vehicles don't make a lot of sense.

I had this explained to me by a mom once when I asked why the SUV, when the actual legroom, MPG, and handling is better in a regular old sedan. She said in regular cars women would have to stick their asses way up into the air ever time they put the kid into the car seat. No thank you. In the SUV you load the kids at eye level, and any lady cellulite stays hidden as God intended.

[Idle Hands]

St. Paul school district to use food truck to deliver free food to children in need:

St. Paul Public Schools bought the food truck last year to increase participation in its Summer Food Service Program. It starts rolling out meals June 15.
The federally funded meals typically are served at places where children are likely to gather, such as libraries and community centers, as well as some schools, but many hungry kids don't make it to those locations.
About 80 percent of St. Paul students eat school-prepared lunches during the school year, but only 20 percent take free summer meals, said Monica McNaughton, assistant director of nutrition services.
About three in four St. Paul students qualify for free or reduced-price school lunches because of low family income. The summer meals are free for anyone younger than age 19.

I don't even know anymore.

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

Bureaucratic empire building

[mr lizard]

Gotta feed the workers for the Somalian Road Corporation

[Idle Hands]

But isn't that why we have food stamps?

[mr lizard]

Sigh, it was meant to be a purely somal1111a road!!!zzzz joke

[Injun, as in from India]

Free sh1t - delivered to your door step!

[thom]

A school district providing nutritious meals to its students... The horror!

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

Nutritious? You obviously haven't seen what they serve.

This is nothing more than making high numbers of meals served so that they can collect their subsidies.

[Ted S.]

School lunches are nutritious?

[Injun, as in from India]

Our "elected" "public official" Michelle Obama made those meals nutritious. How could you forget?

[Steve G]

Over the fucking summer? Aaaand that's in their charter where exactly?

[WTF]

It's under the FYTW clause.

[Marshall Gill]

Clearly, thom, believes that if libertarians are opposed to subsidized government meals we must be also opposed to children eating.

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

+1 Bastiat

[Rhywun]

Buttering 'em up for cradle-to-grave State. What's not to love?

[Fabi]

When school is in session it kinda makes sense. Otherwise, fuck no.

[Slammer]

"The scoops are on their way"

[Libertarian]

"About three in four St. Paul students qualify for free or reduced-price school lunches because of low family income."

I had no idea St Paul was such a mess. It's the Detroit of the midwest!

[Catatafish]

How is that number even remotely possible? Unless the St. Paul School District is a tiny section of Somalia dropped into the middle of the city, I refuse to believe that 75% of the students fall under the poverty line.

[Marshall Gill]

Put that line high enough and no problem!

[Catatafish]

Touche'.

[PapayaSF]

Yup.

[What's that smell?]

Ever hear of "gaming the system"?
Another popular game is to have your kid classified as"special needs" and let the gravy train roll! BTW in some districts, pregnant is an accepted classification of special needs.

[mamasan]

What happens to all the nutritious meals the low income parents prepare with the Food Stamps provided to them? I am just curious about where all the fucking money goes for food stamps that the kids are not being fed.

[C. Anacreon]

And the food banks, too.

Kids get free meals at schools, families get free food at the food banks, plus food stamps, plus welfare and plenty other ways to actually pay for food, and yet the kids are starving. Why doesn't anyone ever ask about that? Oh, you'd be a heartless teathuglican then.

[Azathoth!!]

The kids are fat.

And now you know why.

Free lunch. Freestores. Foodstamps.

Kids are swimming in oceans of crappy food--if our recent food drive is any indication.

[Jimbo]

What about a truck to deliver blow jobs to us folks who are paying for all this stuff? Huh, how about it?

Can I get an Amen?! (oops, wrong thread)

[Lord Humungus]

Tarpon Springs neighbors baffled by house, trees covered in aluminum foil

They've asked resident Piotr Janowski: Is he installing new insulation, pest control, antennas? He explains that it's an outdoor art project, inspired by Florida's beauty.

Someone called his landlord and code enforcement. A city arborist inspected the trees, some of them also wrapped in foil, and concluded they were not in danger. Code enforcement is still trying to determine if the project is violating any ordinances, said police Sgt. Ed Miller.

"This is art," Janowski said. "In their thick, bureaucratic books, I'm sure they have nothing against this.

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

"This is art," Janowski said. "In their thick, bureaucratic books, I'm sure they have nothing against this.

Please refer to section 9, part 8.3 "FYTW".

[Ted S.]

Christo did it decades ago.

[mr lizard]

I doubt they posses the flexibility for those contortions.

[BardMetal]

Why did I read that as "tampon springs"?

[Florida Man]

Because you don't fish?

[Bobarian (sexbot hand model)]

Because you're fishing with the wrong bait? It is on a line, though.

[Florida Man]

Ewwwwww!

[Libertarian]

Because you're not from the Tampa area (i.e. a Tampan).

[Elspeth Flashman]

because you work for Tampax?

[Xeones]

Florida.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Secretary of State John Kerry is in the hospital in Geneva after crashing his bicycle while in France.

Symbolic.

[Idle Hands]

John Kerry blames Obama for telling him to quote "break a leg" in the Iran negotiations earlier this week.

[The Bad Captain Madly]

Well, whaddaya know? There is a God after all!

[Libertarian]

Won't somebody with the appropriate skills photoshop Kerry's mug onto the Jigsaw character? Please? PLEASE?

[R C Dean]

In a hospital for a broken leg?

What a pussy.

Has to cancel a business trip for a broken leg?

What a non-essential supernumerary.

[GILMORE]

Also= I thought he'd been flown back to the US. I thought there was some note about his special flight arrangements

or rather, he's flown back today.

http://www.foxnews.com/politic.....ike-crash/

these AM links were dated before noon!

Also = British Healthcare: Sexist, or just Incompetent?

[Lord Humungus]

House bill would require gun owners to have liability insurance

House Democrat Rep. Carolyn Maloney (N.Y.) has introduced a bill that would require gun owners to carry liability insurance.

The Firearm Risk Protection Act, unveiled Friday, would require gun buyers to have liability insurance coverage before being allowed to purchase a weapon, and would impose a fine of $10,000 if an owner is found not to have it. Service members and law enforcement officers, however, would be exempt from the requirement.

"We require insurance to own a car, but no such requirement exists for guns," Maloney said in a statement. "The results are clear: car fatalities have declined by 25 percent in the last decade, but gun fatalities continue to rise."

Wait wut?

[Florida Man]

I didn't realize I'm not liable for damages I do with my firearm. Whelp, I'm off to shoot randomly into buildings.

[Injun, as in from India]

Service members and law enforcement officers, however, would be exempt from the requirement.

Select militia, whatever, whatever...

[Injun, as in from India]

We need to more pirates to combat global warming.

As you can see, along with the decline in piracy, there has been a rise in global temperatures.

[Bobarian (sexbot hand model)]

It is clearly the overall drop in criminal activity, and not just pirates that is causing global warming.

If you cared about the planet, you'd go out and rob a bank.

[some guy]

law enforcement officers, however, would be exempt from the requirement.

So... the people who need it most don't have to have it? Makes NY sense.

[Injun, as in from India]

Makes NY sense.

It's like the shoulder thing that goes up.

[gaijin]

Listen, and understand. That gun control fanatic is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are disarmed.

[Monty Crisco]

Perfect. Imma use this.

[mr lizard]

Ummm terminator 1 & 2

[Monty Crisco]

Duh. Just never thought to apply it to anti-gunners, as perfectly as it fits.

[Puddin' Stick]

And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are disarmed.

Or dead.

[WTF]

We also need to require insurance to exercise your First Amendment rights as well, since you may be found liable for slander or libel. Fucking idiot.

[PapayaSF]

Doesn't AIDS kill more people? My Swiftian counter-argument is that gay men should be forced to carry insurance in case they infect someone.

[Jimbo]

Sometimes a persons mouth just starts spraying stupid shit. It just "happens," all on its own. We need to make sure the kids are protected.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Service members and law enforcement officers, however, would be exempt from the requirement.

Because?

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

Aw c'mon, you know why

[Xeones]

Hitler?

[Libertarian]

Dammit, I said, "Hister!"

/Nostradamus

[WTF]

Oh, I thought it was Mr. Hilter.

[Steve G]

Oh look, a market that doesn't exist, so let's just create it [only to make insurance companies richer]

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

+1 Buffett

[Agammamon]

Service members and law enforcement officers, however, would be exempt from the requirement.

I don't get it - why servicemembers? None of them are allowed to carry a service weapon except when on duty (and store it in the armory, not at home) and the military is sure as hell not going to accept liability for off-duty accidents with privately owned weapons.

Unless they're expecting this to force the brass to make a blanket firearms ban for AD servicemembers?

And the police exemption only makes sense if there's a guarantee that the police agency will take on that liability.

[Atanarjuat]

Because fytw. Gun control isn't meant to curtail the violence of state actors.

[MJGreen]

Because they're heroes, and it's obvious to everyone that this is intended to hurt gun owners. So if you don't exempt service members, you're hurting our country's heroes.

[Suthenboy]

Car fatalities declining has nothing whatsoever to do with insurance. Technological improvement of vehicles is solely responsible.

If there is one thing you can count on, it is gun grabbers being liars.

[DesigNate]

Fuck that cunt.

I hope she got the sweats when she heard that Texas passed Open Carry on Friday.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Best 2016 analysis!

http://bit.ly/1JjxRe7

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

I believe

[Marshall Gill]

Huckabee? Unpossible.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

The cash donations Hillary simply has no answer for
...While Clinton was secretary of state, her department approved $165 billion worth of commercial arms sales to Clinton Foundation donors. That figure from Clinton's three full fiscal years in office is almost double the value of arms sales to those countries during the same period of President George W. Bush's second term.

The Clinton-led State Department also authorized $151 billion of separate Pentagon-brokered deals for 16 of the countries that gave to the Clinton Foundation. That was a 143 percent increase in completed sales to those nations over the same time frame during the Bush administration. The 143 percent increase in U.S. arms sales to Clinton Foundation donors compares to an 80 percent increase in such sales to all countries over the same time period....

[Longtorso, Johnny]

As just one of many examples, in its 2011 Human Rights Report, Clinton's State Department slammed Algeria's government for imposing "restrictions on freedom of assembly and association," tolerating "arbitrary killing," "widespread corruption" and a "lack of judicial independence."

That year, the Algerian government donated $500,000 to the Clinton Foundation and the next year Clinton's State Department approved a one-year 70 percent increase in military export authorizations to the country. The jump included authorizations for almost 50,000 items classified as "toxicological agents, including chemical agents, biological agents and associated equipment." The State Department had not authorized the export of any of such items to Algeria the year before.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Foreign governments gave millions to foundation while Clinton was at State Dept
......In Algeria and Tunisia, rapists can avoid prosecution for raping minors if they marry their victims thanks to Article 326 of the Algerian Penal Code and Article 227 of the Tunisian Penal Code. And thanks to the penal code in Morocco, the severity of punishment for rape depends on whether the woman was a virgin or not. In all three countries, marital rape is not recognized as an offense, and both same-sex sexual relations and consensual extramarital relations are illegal, which can discourage survivors from reporting assaults, for fear they will be in legal trouble themselves. ...

[PapayaSF]

The amount of material for anti-Hillary ads is just staggering: millions of shady dollars, connections to foreign dictators, her attacks on women, the missing emails, and on and on. Some people think that because Bill got elected despite a series of scandals that she will too, but I don't think it's the same. He is Slick Willy, but she's unpleasant and unslick. I don't think she can pull it off.

[mr lizard]

The NRA should do a troll endorsement... And by numbers she is probably the 2nd most pro-gun industry candidate behind Old Barry

[sarcasmic]

Pastor shot dead by cops who say they were trying to SAVE him from flood: Wife questions officers' claim he attacked them because he didn't want to leave his truck

Nehemiah Fischer, 35, was fatally shot by an Oklahoma Highway Patrolman who was trying to rescue him and his brothers from floodwaters on Friday
Police hold that the brothers attacked the two troopers, but Fischer's wife, Laura, says the men would never do that
Laura says she wants to see any dash cam footage that would shed light on the situation
The two troopers involved have not been named or placed on administrative leave as of Sunday
Fischer was an assistant pastor at a church in Tulsa and owned a construction company

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....d-him.html
"Get out of the truck! We're trying to save you! Do what I say or I'll shoot!" *BLAM BLAM BLAM*

Failure to obey.

[Idle Hands]

Well they did save him from drowning, really they should probably be given metals for out of the box thinking.

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

Lead? Cold steel?

[Bobarian (sexbot hand model)]

Depleted Uranium.

[mad.casual]

Polonium.

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

*curls up in fetal position, clutching kicked nuts*

[This Machine]

*begins quaking with inchoate rage*

The fuck is wrong with these -

*takes deep breath, heads to garage to clean rifle, hums "Won't Get Fooled Again"*

[Injun, as in from India]

Cops: etGay outyay ofyay ethay ucktray!
Pastor: What did you say, officer?
Cops: etGay outyay ofyay ethay ucktray, ownay!
Pastor: What are you saying?
Cops: Obeyyay usyay ownay!
Pastor: What?

*BLAM* *BLAM* *BLAM*

[Injun, as in from India]

Online cop speak translator

[Old Man With Candy]

Manziel can't even throw a water bottle to hit his target

Cleveland Browns precision passing.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

I feel let down somehow.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Odds on Johnny Football becoming Johnny Hasbeen?

At least Johnny Hockey is making good on his name!

[Old Man With Candy]

I think we have the next Art Schlichter on our hands!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Wow. Manziel has a ways to go before reaching those heights!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Dr. Utopia will take care of everything!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUzJHaN9a40

[Fist of Etiquette]

May was the deadliest month in Baltimore in more than 40 years.

Do you want police all up in your grill over every little thing or do you want them cowering in the patrol cars? Because there's no middle ground. Apparently.

[Ted S.]

I want them cowering in their patrol cars.

[straffinrun]

You better hope the Freedom act doesn't get passed with comments like that, civilian.

[Lord Humungus]

Self proclaimed vampire back in jail after several attacks

A self proclaimed vampire is now in the Escambia Jail. Josephine Smith was arrested on aggravated battery charges with a deadly weapon after stabbing her boyfriend with a pair of scissors Tuesday. This isn't Smith's first run in with the law. Back in 2011, Smith attacked an elderly man at an abandoned "Hooters" in St. Petersburg. St. Petersburg police say she told the elderly man she was a vampire then started to bite him, ripping pieces of his face off with her teeth.

Around noon Tuesday afternoon Earl Wynn says Josephine Smith was using scissors to alter clothing. He says Smith had been drinking and was upset about being unemployed. They got into an argument and Smith stabbed him with the scissors.

"I got stabbed with scissors most likely probably accidentally it happened. I love her she's a sweet girl. She's actually the sweetest person I've ever met," said Earl "Toby" Wynn.

[SugarFree]

Smith attacked an elderly man at an abandoned "Hooters" in St. Petersburg.

Why do people even bother trying to write fiction?

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

Are you not inspired?

[SugarFree]

When you can't out pace reality, the urge to write withers. It's like being Cassandra, but CNN always scoops you before you can even send an email in warning.

[Idle Hands]

Well there's probably better service there than your standard occupied hooters.

[SugarFree]

Georgia Hooters Waitress Donates Kidney to Longtime Regular

[Injun, as in from India]

The patriarchy is now coming after the women's kidneys.

[Idle Hands]

He must have been a good tipper.

[mr lizard]

The Day Walker may have his hands full down here

[Fist of Etiquette]

...ripping pieces of his face off with her teeth.

She knows neck blood goes right to the hips.

[Xeones]

Florida.

[Elspeth Flashman]

Yeah, she won't last long in jail though, because her evil henchman will get her out, or something.

[Palin's Buttplug]

How Comedians Became Public Intellectuals

Which is to say that there are two broad things happening right now?comedy with moral messaging, and comedy with mass attention?and their combined effect is this: Comedians have taken on the role of public intellectuals. They're exploring and wrestling with important ideas. They're sharing their conclusions with the rest of us. They're providing fodder for discussion, not just of the minutiae of everyday experience, but of the biggest questions of the day. Amy Schumer on misogyny, Key and Peele on terrorism, Louis C.K. on parenting, Sarah Silverman on Rand Paul, John Oliver on FIFA ? these are bits intended not just to help us escape from the realities of the world, but also, and more so, to help us understand them. Comedians are fashioning themselves not just as joke-tellers, but as truth-tellers?as intellectual and moral guides through the cultural debates of the moment.

http://www.theatlantic.com/ent.....ls/394277/

Peanut angst to follow.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

I wasn't aware that writing dick jokes qualified as leading the life of the mind.

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

That is as sophisticated as our troll's minds get...

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

*trolls'*

[Ted S.]

One can argue that "troll's" is correct, since the trolls are all sock puppets of one another.

[Palin's Buttplug]

So you conservatives think comedians only do dick jokes?

Wow, the fantasy bubble is growing.

[Andrew S.]

You impress me, PB. You really do.

There's a song I know in Japanese. There's a line in it that translates to, basically, "It practically takes a genius to be as dense as you." Your special ability to completely fail at reading comprehension at every point, it takes talent, man. Good on ya.

[tarran]

It's not any more the product of genius than a termite mound is.

With sufficient industry, even non sentient creatures can impact their environment in dramatic ways.

[WTF]

Welcome to Retardation: A Celebration. Now, hopefully, I'm gonna dispel a few myths, a few rumors. First off, the retarded don't rule the night. They don't rule it. Nobody does. And they don't run in packs. And while they may not be as strong as apes, don't lock eyes with 'em, don't do it. Puts 'em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming "No, no, no" and all they hear is "Who wants cake?" Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.

[Xeones]

I'm getting kind of sick of y'all comparing the 'plug to a mentally retarded person. Ain't no retarded person on earth deserves to be lumped in together with that mendacious twit.

[MJGreen]

And that's Colbert at his best.

Retard jokes are funnier than political commentary.

[Steve G]

They're sharing their conclusions with mocking the rest of us the ideas they disagree with

FTFY

[Libertarian]

Lenny Bruce did it. George Carlin did it. Wow, it's a hot new trend.

[Marshall Gill]

Yes, but did either Bruce or Carlin do it with government cocks in their throats like that hilarious comedian Jon Stewart?

[Agammamon]

Or with as little self-awareness of their own racism as Sarah Silverman and company?

http://townhall.com/tipsheet/l.....a-n1700572

[Rufus J. Firefly]

He really let her have it.

Good.

[Suthenboy]

"Noir says. "Are there white people who don't want black people to own guns? Yes, and their names are Mayor Bloomberg and Dianne Feinstein?last I checked, the NRA advocated gun rights for everyone."

He left Sarah Silverman off of the list. She should be first.

[MJGreen]

It's hard to think of someone more in a bubble than Sarah Silverman.

I like her, but she has no good idea of what anyone outside of LA and NY are like.

[bacon-magic]

+1 Calling out the brainwashing cocksucker

[PapayaSF]

Hell, Will Rogers did it.

[R C Dean]

Undoubtedly with inspiration from Mark Twain, who also did it.

http://www.twainquotes.com/Government.html

[CatoTheElder]

Mark Twain did it.

Going back a little farther: Aristophanes did it.

[Bobarian (sexbot hand model)]

"Sarah Silverman on Rand Paul"

Do I even want to know WTF this might mean?

[Chinny Chin Chin]

Oh dear lord.

The author's understanding of history evidently begins with David Letterman. She should listen to Will Rogers, or read Twain (his public lectures must have been hysterical).

Historians of ancient Rome will also note that the most incisive political criticism came not on the Senate floor, but in the hustle of the forum, where stand-up philosophers played.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

The author's understanding of history evidently begins with David Letterman.

Milennials.txt

[OneOut]

Buttplug you guys even voted one into the Senate on your team.

Proving once and for all that the modern day Democrat Party is a joke..

[Lord Humungus]

Frugality of High Earners in U.S. Shows Long Shadow of Recession

Six years after the worst recession since the 1930s, Americans who earn $100,000 to $249,999 a year still are "making very careful decisions" when it comes to discretionary purchases, said Pam Danziger, president of Unity Marketing Inc., a luxury research company based in Stevens, Pennsylvania. "That's smart for them, but it's certainly not good for the economy."

These consumers -- Danziger calls them HENRYs, or high earners not rich yet -- are "feeling squeezed" primarily because their spending power is curbed by sluggish income gains, she said. They spent 10 percent less on luxury goods and services in the fourth quarter compared with the same period in 2013, according to figures from Unity Marketing.

[sarcasmic]

"That's smart for them, but it's certainly not good for the economy."

Yeah. Because keeping money in the bank where it can be used as capital is such a terrible thing since it is unseen, but purchasing baubles is good because it can be seen.

[gaijin]

We need laws to ensure that those savings can be put to use...for the good of the economy.

/Keynesian Clown

[Ted S.]

Fucking hoarders.

[WTF]

Wreckers and kulaks, too.

[straffinrun]

Doesn't consumption come before production in the dictionary?

[Agammamon]

Yeah. Because keeping money in the bank where it can be used as capital is such a terrible thing since it is unseen, but purchasing baubles is good because it can be seen.

Well, its not as good as *using* it for capital. Of course people won't do that because the current regulatory environment makes that a poor bet for getting your money back.

OTOH, its way better than buying a bunch of shit you don't need in the hopes that the economy will recover and you'll make enough money after the recovery to make up for the short term loss.

It really says something about these people's economic ignorance that they see a ton of people thinking that the 1% interest on their savings account is a better deal than using that money as capital.

[Agammamon]

And don't ask *why*.

[R C Dean]

"That's smart for them, but it's certainly not good for the economy."

Somebody doesn't understand that savings are capital formation, and capital formation is good for the economy.

[Suthenboy]

"That's smart for them, but it's certainly not good for the economy."

The economy. I hear that term bandied about by a lot of people who don't know what it means.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Stop grovelling to civil servants: Column
...As the public sector has expanded, so has the public's dissatisfaction with it. In 1964, before Lyndon Johnson instituted his Great Society programs, 77% of Americans trusted the government. In October 2013, only 12% of Americans said they were "basically content with the federal government," which was just two points higher than the percentage of Americans who trusted Pakistan. In other words, the government that killed Osama bin Laden is only slightly more popular than the country that harbored him. No wonder government employees have low self-esteem....

[sarcasmic]

No wonder government employees have low self-esteem....

If only they would act on that low self-esteem, preferably with a large caliber bullet or buckshot.

[PapayaSF]

Watching porn at work helps them feel better, though.

[Christophe]

Now now, no need to be that drastic. Walking off the job and joining productive society would be plenty, and not worsen our public pension problems.

[Injun, as in from India]

If they have low self-esteem, they should quit their government jobs and find their true self-worth in the private sector where everyone is valued at what they are worth.

[sarcasmic]

They can't. Once you work for the government long enough, your work ethic gets completely destroyed. No private sector employer will hire you (perhaps with the exception of government contractors) because they know you will accomplish very little.

[some guy]

Contractors love to hire former government workers because they have connections in the agencies that put out the contracts. Just like non-contractors love to hire former government workers because they have connections in the agencies that pass regulations. Basically, all big companies fall in one of these categories. It's the little ones that suffer.

Also, why do you hate our Kaptious friend?

[OneOut]

But people keep hiring Bill Clinton.

[Libertarian]

"As the public sector has expanded, so has the public's dissatisfaction with it."

Cause and effect. How does it work?

[Agammamon]

its funny how the more people have contact with the government the less they like what the government does.

If you want to be *liked* in your job, government employees, then I suggest that you force interactions with the public less often.

[Ken Shultz]

"A new Google Chrome extension replaces the names of Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio with "Florida Man" in headlines, and replaces references to "Florida Man" with Bush or Rubio."

Could one of you geniuses in the commentariat make a Chrome extension that replaces "Palin's Buttplug" with "Jack Wipe" and "Tony" with "Jackhole"?

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Replace "Palin's Buttplug" with "Dave Weigel". Is anything more insulting than the truth?

[Mike M.]

Not in this case!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Alright. My turn to ask.

Where the heck is John?

[Ken Shultz]

He's probably on vacation.

[sarcasmic]

My understanding is that he works in some legal capacity for the federal government. Occasionally he disappears for a while. I assume because he's got actual work to do for a change. He'll be back.

[Agammamon]

. . . works in some legal capacity for the federal government. Occasionally he disappears for a while.

CIA black ops bagman?

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Under a 300 lb woman somewhere, trapped?

[Lord Humungus]

+1 Jaws of Life

[sarcasmic]

I larfed.

[Xeones]

I've said it before, but i really don't think it's coincidence that he disappeared as soon as Mama June started stripping.

[Palin's Buttplug]

John is working on the Senator Lindsay Graham campaign kickoff.

[Slammer]

I could of swore I saw the handle once or twice last night in the rand thread

[Monty Crisco]

Yeah, he was in the gun thread too...

[Ted S.]

Ditto: I could swear I saw him show up in one of the weekend threads.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Meanwhile in the UK? be sure not to injure your rapist
..."You must not get a product which is made or adapted to cause a person injury. Possession of such a product in public (and in private in specific circumstances) is against the law." So even in the sanctity of one's home, the statement seems to suggest that care for violent offenders outweighs the rights of potential victims to be safe and secure against attack....

[WTF]

We are witnessing the last gasps of a once-great nation.

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

Those high society pedophiles over there wouldn't want anyone to fight back, now would they?

[some guy]

Booby traps are illegal in a lot of places. I wouldn't be surprised to see that such devices are also illegal in much of the US. Whether anyone would actually prosecute a rape victim in the US is another question.

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

It goes further than that though. They are saying you cannot defend yourself if in the process of doing so you injure your attacker.

[Suthenboy]

Booby traps are a whole different game than what they are talking about.

Yes, booby traps are illegal everywhere in the US.

[Lord Humungus]

German police alerted to armed mob, find asparagus pickers

Police in the town of Ludwigslust said a man called their emergency number Saturday to report having seen "10 to 15 people armed with knives and sticks" on a local road.

Within minutes, six police cars were on their way to the scene. Officers quickly discovered, however, that the group was asparagus harvesters walking along the road with their work tools as they went to take a lunch break.

You know who else was part of an armed mob that the police had to break up...

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

My droogs?

[mr lizard]

The Joker?

[Bam!]

Barack Obama's son?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Quakers rolling oats?

[Libertarian]

The workers weren't shot on sight? You know who else in Germany promoted roaming gangs?

[WTF]

Martin Luther?

[Xeones]

Jan Hus?

[Puddin' Stick]

The workers weren't shot on sight?

Sorry, that's what American cops do, not German ones.

[The DerpRider]

Beer Hall patrons?

[Xeones]

Spartacus?

[Bam!]

US tried Stuxnet against North Korea; Didn't work.

[Injun, as in from India]

The official said the National Security Agency-led campaign was stymied by North Korea's utter secrecy, as well as the extreme isolation of its communications systems.

So ronery...

[some guy]

Honest question. Would Stuxnet even know what to do with Windows 3.1?

[Steve G]

The veritable Millennial of viruses

[Lord Humungus]

Enjoy water? You're drinking dinosaur pee

That glass of water in your hand is dinosaur pee, apparently.

Not like it's unfiltered, but a science YouTube video posted this week raises the interesting tidbit that, since dinosaurs were around for 186 million years and water molecules are everlasting, it's a foregone conclusion that every drop of water on the planet passed through the prehistoric species once upon a time.

"While most of the water molecules in your 8 ounce glass have never been drunk by another human, almost every single molecule has been drunk by a dinosaur," the video by CuriousMinds says.

"So drink up and enjoy your dinosaur pee."

[Bam!]

Also, fish have sex in it.

[Shirley Knott]

Where the heck did this idiotic meme that 'water molecules are everlasting' come from?
Water molecules naturally dissociate into H+ and OH- ions, which recombine randomly.
If that's "everlasting", then the dinosaurs are immortal; every carbon atom in a living being likely came from a carbon atom in a molecule in a dinosaur.
The science education in this country is appalling. As is information retention and basic reasoning ability.

[Pope Jimbo]

A carbon atom from a dinosaur dick.

And that carbon atom is in your tongue. That's right. You have dino dick in your mouth right now!

[Ted S.]

I'm glad I'm not the only one to notice that.

[R C Dean]

Water molecules naturally dissociate into H+ and OH- ions, which recombine randomly.

I did not know that. At what rate/over what time period would it take for all the water on earth to be disassociated/recombined?

[tarran]

According to the Wikipedia article about once every 10 hours a water molecule experiences an energy input sufficient to break it up, BUT, with a recombination rate measured in picoseconds per reaction, most molecules immediately reform.

My guess is that over the course of a million years, every water molecule on Earth will have broken down and the resultant ions will have combined with their counterparts from other water molecules rather than back together to form to original molecule.

Ice, on the other hand is a totally different animal.

[tarran]

Here's the link to Wikipedia.

[Shirley Knott]

Worth noting that these figures are for pure water, in which state little if any of the water on earth has spent all time. Both acids and bases provide plenty of "spare" H+ and/or OH- ions, and thus the recombination figures change significantly.
Very little, if any, dinosaur urine would be neutral pH, one might safely suppose.

[PapayaSF]

And all your food is grown in topsoil, which is earthworm poop.

[Suthenboy]

"molecules are everlasting"

No, they are not.

"it's a foregone conclusion that every drop of water on the planet passed through the prehistoric species once upon a time."

No, it isn't.

The vast majority of water on earth is chemically bound up in the crust. Most water is going through a cycle of being bound and unbound.

Also, water is constantly being created and destroyed through metabolic processes and combustion.

[PapayaSF]

Eh, on Earth, how often does that last happen? I think most water just circulates.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Jeb Bush approves.

I'm confused. Does Jeb Bush really approve or is it Florida Man who approves? Oh, wait, I don't use Chrome anyway, as Google has enough of my information already.

[Atanarjuat]

Holy fucking shit, a billionaire team owner turned down public money and is paying for the stadium himself!

Wait a minute, did I hear that right?

Did I just hear a billionaire sports owner say he's going to pay for his own stadium?

Did I just hear him tell state politicians that he's not going to sit around and wait for them to wade through their bureaucratic red tape and sign off on the $30 million they promised for a new stadium?

Did I just hear him tell the city to keep the $15 million it was going to kick in for the new stadium?

Did I just hear him tell the county to keep the $20 million it was going to contribute to the new stadium?

Did I just hear him say that he'll even pay fair market value for the land where the new stadium is to be built?

To the last point, there was some talk of eminent domain being used when the city was considering providing the land.

[Atanarjuat]

More, for you lazy fuckers like me who don't actually click the links.

it didn't take long for him to realize that building his own stadium ? and buying and developing the land around that stadium ? is a good business move. With a privately financed stadium, Orlando City gets to keep every penny of the profit ? naming rights, ticket sales, signage, advertising, concessions, parking, etc.

The best part of all: Central Floridians didn't have to pay a bloody cent.

[Florida Man]

I'm assuming, since your link is pay walled, this is about Orlando city soccer. I actually went to a game Saturday. I had more fun than I thought I would. I'm not much of a sports fan.

[Andrew S.]

Yeah, it's about Orlando City.

The owner of the Miami Dolphins is putting $400 million of his own money into remodeling Sun Life Stadium, which was built with private money in the first place 30 years ago. Of course, he's only doing that because the state refused to give him the cash, but hey, it works.

[Atanarjuat]

Yeah. For some reason it wasn't pay walled for me. Apparently Orlando soccer went from podunk to the 2nd highest attended team under this guy's reign. Probably helps that there are lots of Haitians and other furriners in the area, though.

[Florida Man]

I say a good demographic mix and a solid turn out. Also some serious fans; mask, flags, colored hair, lots of Kaka shirts. And, don't tell my wife, lots of eye candy.

[Rhywun]

The NY Red Bulls would kill for those numbers. I've been to a few games and they always claim it's sold out (capacity is around 25K) but I always see thousands of empty seats.

(For comparison, Seattle routinely gets over 40K a game.)

OTOH, I was very surprised that the brand new NY team is pulling in over 27K at Yankee Stadium.

[Timon 19]

Let's wait until Orlando has missed the playoffs for the 5th straight year and they've been out of the Citrus Bowl for a while.

Novelty does a lot for attendance.

[Rhywun]

NYC (either team) should by all rights be pulling in better numbers than freakin' Seattle. The market is loaded with people from soccer-crazy countries. I know they tend root for Mexico or Honduras but you would think they could make room for a home team too.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

That's the thing I never understood. If these businessmen were so smart, wouldn't the smartest move be to own your stadium outright rather than have to deal with bureaucrats in perpetuity? Sure, you get your subsidy up front but in the long run you don't have total control on matters. Always begging, threatening to move, demanding this and that...bah.

By using your own money like a real man you're Master of your Domain.

[Rhywun]

No city wants to lose football or baseball - it's probably the easiest way to line your pockets there is.

[Puddin' Stick]

If that were the case, lobbying wouldn't be the multibillion dollar business it is today.

[Atanarjuat]

For those suffering under the paywall, there are some great quotes in the article. Apparently this is one sportswriter who is not a lefty hack.

Obviously, the Brazilian-born Augusto da Silva and the English-born Rawlins don't understand how American sports teams do business. In America, sports teams kick and scream and whine and cry and threaten to relocate if their communities don't use taxpayer dollars to build them palatial new arenas and stadiums.
"I guess I didn't understand that," Rawlins cracked when I told him that privately financed stadiums are as un-American as a balanced budget.

[Xeones]

Florida?

[Lord Humungus]

Japan's deflation battle reflected in sagging blow-job market

On Friday, data released by the internal affairs ministry indicated that Japan's annual inflation rate for April was zero.

The report showed that Prime Minister Shinzo Abe's economic revival plan is being hampered by falling prices, particularly for fuel and consumer electronics.

The report did not mention blow-jobs, but, according to Takarajima (July), prices for such services in Tokyo remain low as the overall commercial sex industry continues to face hard times.

A writer for the magazine travels to the Otsuka red-light district of Toshima Ward to discover that the fee for an oral session at a "pink salon" starts as low as 2,000 yen.($16).

[hamilton]

Low inflation = More fellation

Finally, the libertarian bumper sticker we've been waiting for. (Well, after "Ass Sex, Guns, and Mexicans").

[mr lizard]

It beats Roads, Rape, and Chaos

[straffinrun]

Sticky wages.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Mrs. Clinton and the 1 Percenters
To be a member of the hated, reviled, filthy, wicked "1 percent," one needs a household income of about $400,000 a year....

...Sometime National Review contributor Peter Schweizer has a book out this week bearing the straightforward title Clinton Cash, in which he documents the coincidence between the financial contributions of foreign interests to Clan Clinton and favorable treatment by Hillary Rodham Clinton's State Department. Mrs. Clinton has been doing a fair Elizabeth Warren impersonation of late on the issue of executive compensation, which has led a few critics to point out that at approximately $300,000 an hour, Mrs. Clinton as a maker of speeches out-earns all of the highest-earning American executives on an hourly basis or a daily basis.

[jester]

Elizabeth Warren should copyright her speeches and if Hillary's speeches share the essence of her speeches she can sue her ass. Just an idea.

[R C Dean]

The words "Elizabeth Warren", "Hillary", and "share the essence" should never be found in close proximity.

That is all.

[Puddin' Stick]

Maybe I should create speeches I think Hillary would give and copyright them... then demand licensing from Hillary.

10% of 330K/hr is what? 😀

[Lord Humungus]

Greece's Tsipras Warns Bell May Toll for Europe

While Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras wrote in French newspaper Le Monde that any intransigence wasn't the fault of his four-month-old administration, a senior German lawmaker said it was down to Greece to adhere to reforms agreed to before Tsipras took power. An international official, who asked not to be identified, said creditors were discussing a deal to be presented to Greece as a way of ending the impasse.

"The lack of an agreement so far is not due to the supposed intransigent, uncompromising and incomprehensible Greek stance," Tsipras said in the article published on Sunday. "It is due to the insistence of certain institutional actors on submitting absurd proposals and displaying a total indifference to the recent democratic choice of the Greek people."

[Rufus J. Firefly]

In one defense of Greece, every single damn member of the EU breaks ceilings and thresh holds set. Always have and always will. There are no angels in the EU. The difference is they've always managed to get their economies (somehow) back into the various ranges set.

[Citizen Nothing]

So my son has landed his clerkship at, of all places, the U.S. District Court, Eastern District of Kentucky. I think it's a sign -- something about Rand Paul, or bourbon, or both.

[Swiss Servator, Kaffee bitte!]

"Rand Paul Bourbon"

[Citizen Nothing]

Yes.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Hillary Clinton: Just an Everyday American with a $25 Million Income
Recent news of the Clintons' $25 million jackpot in 2014 makes it tough for Hillary to push her core campaign theme with a straight face. Indeed, widespread laughter will greet her efforts to champion "everyday Americans" against those who allegedly make too much money. "The deck is stacked for those at the top," Hillary Clinton said Tuesday, not mentioning that her household income puts her in not just the top 1 percent of tax filers but the top 0.1 percent. "There's something wrong when CEOs make 300 times more than the typical worker," Clinton told Iowa voters last month. However, as Sean Davis noted Tuesday at TheFederalist.com, "she did not elaborate on whether there's something wrong when non-CEOs who run tax-exempt organizations make 380 times more than the typical worker."...

[Lord Humungus]

Man drives down US 1 in Florida with missile; no one blinks an eye

"With Obama in Miami, I was having second thoughts," Madden said. "I thought people would see me driving around with a missile and it might cause some trouble."

But he had nothing to worry about.

"When a police car pulled up beside me, I'm thinking 'This is it,'" he said.

But the officer didn't stop him. And it didn't faze the McDonald's worker in the drive-thru lane either, when he pulled up to order a diet Coke, Madden said.

"I had to say to her, 'Do you see what's beside me?'" he said. "But she didn't react. She just said, 'You want a small or large?'"

[Idle Hands]

This is why we need the Patriot Act.

[Idle Hands]

This is why we need the Patriot Act.

[Libertarian]

This can't be said enough.

[mr lizard]

Ya for those who aren't Florida Man's neighbors. This incident doesn't even touch our attention span down here.

[Florida Man]

*looks up from welding chain-gun to air boat*
What's that you say?

[mr lizard]

Get back to work mammal. Your Rampage ain't gonna start itself.

[Florida Man]

Sorry Sir.
*sweatily continues welding*

[Agammamon]

RAAAAAMPAGE!

[Steve G]

Mmmm, been wondering what to do w/ my demil'd minigun. thx!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

God, I love America.

[Xeones]

Florida.

[PapayaSF]

News outlets should be fined for articles like this, that merely say: "nine-foot tall missile" and don't provide a picture or more details.

[Lord Humungus]

enough of my wang.

[Puddin' Stick]

Ask and you shall receive.

Picture.

Details?

[PapayaSF]

Sidewinder! Thanks.

[LynchPin1477]

Something rolling around in my head: I've been reluctant in the past to get involved in any politician's campaign. I don't like the idea of officially aligning myself with someone that is almost certainly going to end being a disappointment. But I have to say that after this weekend, I'm strongly considering volunteering for Paul's campaign. This is the first time in my memory that there is a truly viable candidate that seems serious about trying to limit government. The stakes are high enough that I think I can overlook Paul's less-than-ideal aspects.

[gaijin]

was thinking the same thing while watching cspan

[Andrew S.]

That's where I am at this point. I don't like some of what Paul's done lately to cozy up to the SoCon side of Team Red. But dammit, he's our best chance to at least undo some of the security state and police state aspects that have just exploded under the Dubya's first, second, third and fourth terms.

If he doesn't get the nomination, I'll abandon all hope and jump ship to the libertarian side again.

[PapayaSF]

Not to diss Paul, and Scott Walker has his flaws, but he actually has a better record of reining in government. The GOP field is better from a libertarian point of view than it has been for a long time.

[tarran]

There are three elements to a successful president:

1) A clear vision of where he wants to go
2) Executive ability: the ability to persuade or force his staff to execute his vision
3) Legislative and Judicial support.

While Rand is head and shoulders better than anyone else on 1, he's going to get creamed on 2 and 3. If he gets elected, I think it's almost certain he'd be a one term guy.

On the other hand if he were to stay in the senate and work to create a powerful liberty/small government caucus, he could spend a decade or two building and shepherding it, and bite by bite alter the course of the executive branch in a much more meaningful and permanent way.

As for walker, he definitely has 2. 1 is pretty suspect though.

[PapayaSF]

Walker/Paul could work, and Paul runs in 2024. 16 years of those two, and the Republic might survive. Of course, the left would turn into insane zombies.

[Slammer]

Love 'em or hate 'em, new album August 21st

New Ghost song.

[Lord Humungus]

I will wear a swimsuit one day: Manifesto of a righteous fat-ass

There: a headspace of full embodiment, empowerment. Where I wear what I want, when I want, and I always feel at ease. Hell, more than at ease, but good, really good. I thought I'd arrived at this Promised Land by writing about how I got off the broken road of diet culture, calling out destructive portrayals of fat women in the media, and even debating "concern trolls" (a special breed of anti-fat bigotry) on the radio. As I make up an excuse for demurring, I wonder now if I've only been inching along, closer every day, but never quite touching the border.

Perhaps I'd have crossed to the other side, already, if, as a young girl, I'd seen Tess Holliday on the cover of People magazine, her full-body photograph (none of that cropped-at-the face bullshit) beside a caption breathlessly proclaiming her "The World's First Size 22 Supermodel;" featured in Buzzfeed as the Venus on-the-half-shell and starring in her own look book for Torrid. And her body, like all fat women's bodies, is a living metaphor. As activist Virgie Tovar writes, "'Fat' is just the current catchall word for all the things that we as a culture are afraid of: women's rights, people refusing to acquiesce to cultural pressures of conformity, fear of mortality."

[SugarFree]

"'Fat' is just the current catchall word for all the things that we as a culture are afraid of: women's rights, people refusing to acquiesce to cultural pressures of conformity, fear of mortality."

Uh-huh. Sure, that makes sense. Totally.

Or "fat" means "overweight" like is always has.

FAT is FAT

[Slammer]

Where I wear what I want, when I want,

You already can.

and I always feel at ease.

That's on YOU.

[WTF]

Once again, you have the right to have whatever type of body you want to; you do not have the right to require other people to find it attractive.

[Steve G]

Jesus Christ, just put it on Facebook like the rest of you narcissistic, feel-sorry-for-me twats...

[PapayaSF]

She's so righteous about her fat ass that her article is illustrated by a photo of someone else's toes. And she criticizes "cropped-at-the face bullshit," and has a headshot at the end of the article.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

Not that I'd want to hear Michelle Obama's health lectures, but there's no way in fuck she or any other public/media figure should be browbeating us about American obesity rates when the media is in full celebration/enabling mode over one-note hambeasts like Tess Holliday, Rebel Wilson, and Melissa McCarthy. This is the cultural schizophrenia of modern progressivism on full display.

There's a spot in "Supersize Me" where one guy makes the rather shrewd observation that if society treated obesity like cigarettes we'd be fat-shaming 24/7.

[sarcasmic]

US offered Napoleon refuge after he was beaten at Waterloo - where they had been convinced he would end up victorious

Letters written by US representative in Paris in 1815 show passport plan
Envoy also wrote it was 'highly probable' Napoleon would win at Waterloo
Historic battle resulted in the French Emperor abdicated his throne
Uncovered documents were presented to British embassy in Washington

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....rious.html

[Atanarjuat]

The accuracy of US government intelligence-gathering/forecasting has a long history, I see.

[The Late P Brooks]

You can't prove domestic spying has harmed anyone. That's basically the argument I heard on Morning Joke.
"Why would you take away the tools needed to protect America?"

[Injun, as in from India]

-1 Proving a negative

[Pope Jimbo]

And the fact that they can't prove domestic spying has stopped an actual terror plot*? Does that enter the equation.

*FBI sponsored plots don't count.

[Steve G]

I dunno, are violations of my rights considered 'harm'?

[CatoTheElder]

How would anybody know if domestic spying has harmed anyone? The programs are shrouded in the secrecy, and it would be a felony for any victim to discuss their harm even with their own attorney or spouse.

[Kaptious Kristen]

Article by ex cop about how awful cops are. He's pretty much saying what we say about 99% of cops give the other 1% a bad name, though his breakdown is 85/15.

http://www.vox.com/2015/5/28/8.....ce-officer

[tarran]

Of course he bitches about racism WHILE MISSING THE POINT THAT UNPUNISHED ABUSE IS THE PROBLEM!!!!!!111!!!!

[This Machine]

Exactly what I was thinking. But it's Vox, after all.

[sarcasmic]

Funny how they never speak up while they're still on the force.

[Injun, as in from India]

Well, Serpico got his retaliation and all cops learned from it.

[Idle Hands]

The one thing that annoyed me was how he called the system racist. When in fact it fact I believe it to be more socioeconomic, all you have to do is watch cops to realize they have no problem fucking up poor white people.

[Monty Crisco]

WaPo article on po-po shootings:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....story.html

Blacks killed by cops:100
Whites killed by cops: 171

[WTF]

Racist!

[GILMORE]

This is as about as relevant to the "epidemic" of Police-on-Black-violence as 'actual rape statistics' are to Campus Rape Culture.

meaning, not at all.

#BlackLivesMatter, #ToniMorrisonMath

[Rhywun]

Well, being a racist is the single most horrible thing you can be in America. Nobody would pay attention if he just called them all murderers.

[The Late P Brooks]

May was the deadliest month in Baltimore in more than 40 years.

A direct result of pro crime policies. That policeman is the last line of defense between you and the savages. Don't tie his hands!

[WTF]

If we don't allow the police to get away with murder, we will descend into complete lawlessness and chaos!!11!!!!1!

[Lord Humungus]

White progressives' racial myopia: Why their colorblindness fails minorities ? and the left

But the golden age wasn't golden for people who weren't white. Yes, African American incomes rose and unemployment declined in those years. But black people were locked out of many of the wealth-generating opportunities of the era: blocked from suburbs with restricted covenants and redlined into neighborhoods where banks wouldn't lend; left out by the GI Bill, which didn't prevent racial discrimination; neglected by labor unions, which discriminated against or outright blocked black members.

Conservatives look back at those post-World War II years as a magical time when men were men, women raised children, LGBT folks didn't exist or stayed closeted, and the country was white. Progressives point to the government support that created that alleged golden age, but they too often make it sound rosier than it was for people who weren't white. In fact some of those same policies of the 1950s helped create the stunning disparities between black and white family wealth, which leaves even highly paid and highly educated African Americans more vulnerable to sliding out of the middle class.

[Andrew S.]

You know, if you're that much of a masochist, I recommend finding a nice woman into S&M rather than reading Salon articles. For one thing, it's better for your mental health.

[This Machine]

You know, if you're that much of a masochist, I recommend finding a nice woman into S&M rather than reading Salon articles. For one thing, it's better for your mental health.

"Whoever fights derp should see to it that in the process he does not become a derp. And if you gaze long into the derp, the derp will gaze back into you."

[Lord Humungus]

I like abusive women but at my age it's hard to find one who doesn't mind hanging out with a married man.

[Puddin' Stick]

Here's a Salon article you should keep on file.

"Richard Nixon, hero of the American Left"

He's justifiably reviled by historians, but Nixon's politics were far more progressive than we give him credit

[Lord Humungus]

Undercover DHS Tests Find Security Failures at US Airports

An internal investigation of the Transportation Security Administration revealed security failures at dozens of the nation's busiest airports, where undercover investigators were able to smuggle mock explosives or banned weapons through checkpoints in 95 percent of trials, ABC News has learned.

The series of tests were conducted by Homeland Security Red Teams who pose as passengers, setting out to beat the system.

According to officials briefed on the results of a recent Homeland Security Inspector General's report, TSA agents failed 67 out of 70 tests, with Red Team members repeatedly able to get potential weapons through checkpoints.

Warning: Auto Start Video

[Andrew S.]

The last known failure rate from a few years ago was 70%. Didn't know they'd gotten this much worse since.

What should be the response to this: Disband the TSA, go back to pre-9/11 security.
What will be the response to this: MOAR MONEY FOR THE TSA!

[Andrew S.]

Oh. And speaking of more $$$ for the TSA, a lobbyist who convinced Congress to spend hundreds of millions on failed body scanners will have a job with Congress overseeing how much $$$ is apportioned to the TSA.

[OneOut]

The body scanner company which has the government contract is owned in part by the guy who once ran the TSA. I can't remember his name but he left TSA right at the same time the contract was approved.

Not that that surprises anyone here,

[Steve G]

Any 'red team' would be a kickass job IMO. I got briefed by a cyber red team guy recently...HOLEE FUCK was it eye-opening and pretty damn cool. That is all I can say.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I watched 'Nixon in his own words' the other day. Nice guy.

Other than that, it was interesting to note that despite him trying to muzzle the press, they forged ahead and continued to do their jobs by investigating Watergate and demanding he hand over his private, secret tapes.

Today, Obama is at odds with the press acting similarly to Nixon, but the difference is the press seems extremely timid - perhaps even beaten down - to investigate various scandals. The equivalence to the Nixon tapes are Hillary's emails but I don't see the media demanding she hand them over.

[WTF]

That's because the press and the Democrats are on the same team.

[PapayaSF]

Yup.

[R C Dean]

They're not "beaten down". They are Democrat operatives, with only a handful of exceptions.

[sarcasmic]

True Detective star Vince Vaughn says guns should be allowed in schools because barring them is like banning forks 'to stop making people fat'

Hollywood star said banning guns won't stop school shootings in America
Defended gun laws to protect against 'corrupt and abusive' Government
Also argued for legalisation of drugs as prohibition doesn't stop users
Admitted he's been stuck making 'assembly-line comedies' for too long

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....e-fat.html

[Andrew S.]

One thing about comedy, there are some libertarians in that field. Vaughn, Penn Jillette (and Teller), Drew Carey... and a couple of others I'm forgetting I think.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Adam Carolla fits.

[Injun, as in from India]

When are the progs going to start calling for a Vince Vaughn boycott?

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

Salon in 3, 2, 1....

[WTF]

I've always liked Vince Vaughn.

[sarcasmic]

I've always like him, though I think most of his movies were doubleplus ungood.

[WTF]

Yeah, a lot of his movies are shit, but he usually was worth watching in spite of the material.

[Steve G]

Whoa, whoa, whoa; I know you're excluding swingers and made from that list...?

[Rhywun]

Swingers is great. I am impressed that he admits to being in a lot of crap since then.

[R C Dean]

I'm . . . challenged by Vince Vaughan in True Detective.

Harrelson and McConaughey were just so damn good in the first one, and I just don't think Vaughan can play in that league. Here's hoping to be surprised.

[MJGreen]

I don't think any of the new cast can match what the first season did, but they're all pretty solid. Vaughn is quite good as a villain.

[Drake]

All the women in Ranger school have now been kicked out or recycled. It's almost like men and stronger than women or something.
http://www.foxnews.com/politic.....er-school/

[Lord Humungus]

SexXXisSSSttt!!! *hisses*

[Lady Bertrum]

Well, some men are stronger than some women. More accurately, the strongest men are stronger than the strongest women.

[R C Dean]

More accurately, the strongest fit men are stronger than the strongest women.

[Injun, as in from India]

The solution is to lower standards so that we have equality.

[Crusty Juggler]

Peer reviews are sexist. The Rangers must change their ways, and of course no longer lead the way.

[Steve G]

There are women capable of doing this stuff out there, but it'll just take a little longer to groom, find, & filter them from the candidate pool. It may not happen in the next cycle or two, but it'll eventually happen. If the SJW's who want to force this to happen can just have patienc.... oh, nevermind, we've gotta fix this inequality now!!!

[R C Dean]

There are women capable of doing this stuff out there,

At the highest levels needed for elite ground forces? No, there really aren't.

[Steve G]

At the "highest levels", depending on what you mean perhaps not, but to pass Ranger School, yes there are women capable of passing Ranger School. I could pick a half dozen chicks who would make it, they just aren't in the military right now.

[The Late P Brooks]

An internal investigation of the Transportation Security Administration revealed security failures at dozens of the nation's busiest airports

Completely unexpected.

[Lady Bertrum]

Let's use RICO to prosecute climate change deniers, mmmmkay?

http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....story.html

[Drake]

And not the Clinton Foundation?

[OldMexican]

Photo Caption:

The dome of the U.S. Capitol is seen behind the emissions, and a smokestack, from the coal-burning Capitol Power Plant, in Washington, D.C., March 10, 2014.

Those emissions are entirely made of water vapor.

And yet they call us the "anti-science" crowd.

[CatoTheElder]

In all likelihood, the visible "emissions" are just a cooling tower's cloud on a humid day. It is indeed entirely composed of water vapor. The visible "emissions" are negligibly different from clouds in the sky or fog.

There's a reason why the photo was framed to exclude the top of the "smokestack".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C....._Plant.jpg

[DesigNate]

And after that, we can just execute them.

/Tony

[Steve G]

A new Google Chrome extension replaces the names of Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio with "Florida Man" in headlines, and replaces references to "Florida Man" with Bush or Rubio. Jeb Bush approves

You're welcome?

[The Late P Brooks]

Hillary Clinton got paid ("earned" is too risible) 25 million bucks?

That's okay; at least she didn't get it by making and selling things which improve the lives of ordinary people. That would be dirty money.

[jester]

I thought Beau was the president's dog, not Biden's son.

[PapayaSF]

Both Biden's boys had dog names: the other one is named Hunter.

[Lord Humungus]

Men brace for 'beard patrols' in Iraq's IS-held Mosul

Every time he looks in a mirror, Laith Ahmed is worried. As of Monday, the young Iraqi's hopelessly hairless chin could land him in an Islamic State group jail.

The jihadist group has handed out leaflets in their stronghold of Mosul in recent weeks announcing that full beards become compulsory on June 1 and explaining why shaving is punishable.

"My facial hair is just slow to come out for my age," said the 18-year-old, who like others in this story did not give his real name for fear of retribution.

Do neckbeards count? Asking for a friend.

[jester]

He could glue his pubes to his chin, which seriously, isn't that what they do anyway?

[jester]

The heatwave in India is Bush's fault cuz you know global warming and he hates black people.

[WTF]

Isn't it always hot in India?

[CatoTheElder]

This has been observed for a very, very long time. In the Bhagavad Ghita, Krishna says:

"O Arjuna, I control heat, the rain and the drought. I am immortality, and I am also death personified. Both being and nonbeing are in Me."

Heat waves, floods, and droughts are nothing new to India.

[The Late P Brooks]

According to officials briefed on the results of a recent Homeland Security Inspector General's report, TSA agents failed 67 out of 70 tests, with Red Team members repeatedly able to get potential weapons through checkpoints.

And that doesn't count the TSA and airport employees actively involved in interstate gun trafficking.

[creech]

Why isn't revealing this information so much more enabling terrorists than what Snowden did?
Yet Snowden is an arch criminal in the minds of many who also believe the TSA is our best defense against the hoards of terrorists embedded in the American population.
As far as I know, TSA ....while they have caught many people with guns in their
carry ons ... has not determined that even one of them was a terrorist rather than a forgetful jackass.

[Injun, as in from India]

A heat wave in India has killed 2,000 people so far, and is expected to last four or five more days.

Thanks to capitalism and economic growth, the death toll is only 2000. If this had happened 35-40 years ago during the Glory Days of Socialism, a lot more people would have died.

But if you were to believe a twat like Naomi Klein, capitalism caused this heat wave.

[Krieger's Waifu]

How about that Game of Thrones episode last night?

[WTF]

Shit

[Catatafish]

The funny thing is that some of the stuff that has completely parted with canon translates to the best moments of this season.

[Injun, as in from India]

Ed Krayewski - you SF'd the Saudi mosque story link.

[MJGreen]

A Wichita State University student visiting Saudi Arabia is credited with preventing an ISIS suicide bomber from entering a mosque there, but the student, Abduljalil Alarbash, as well as his brother and cousin, were killed when the bomber set himself off.

Why are we importing these Muslims!?!

[Matrix]

Ignoring a Court Order to send man to a hospital for evaluation, police instead put him on a bus and paid for a one-way ticket to Florida. Police charge then man with "escaping" custody.

That is how crooked they have become.

[Injun, as in from India]

I'm betting that the police will get away with a rap on the knuckle sloppy kiss on the face.

And oh, police unions and government employee unionization in general are not a problem at all.

[sarcasmic]

Unresolved are the consequences that police and jail officials might face for their roles in the relocation.

Training. Yeah. More training. On overtime.

[Coeus]

Shit is getting blatant.

Julie Ann Horvath @nrrrdcore
Shout out to every woc who's had to tirelessly "educate" ppl on Twitter w/o pay, I'm so here for you and #GiveWomenYourMoney today.

Julie Ann Horvath @nrrrdcore
Friends, search #GiveWomenYourMoney and send some money their way because being your authentic self on Twitter as a woman *is* a job, trust.

BlackPussySupreme @Virtuous_Queen_
#GiveWomenYourMoney because I've been working for free my entire life

PayPal [e-mail]

SoulfulQFemme @teeflosignsloud
Women deserve to be rich by the experiences they endure daily & treated with respect AT ALL TIMES. Now, #GiveWomenYourMoney. Thanks.

[Coeus]

and a bonus:

Lauren Chief Elk
?@ChiefElk
Pay me to read you your life and entire history of why you can even exist here. You clearly have not a clue. #GiveWomenYourMoney

Lauren Chief Elk
?@ChiefElk
"I'm white and going to say you're not oppressed because you're cuter than me" bitch, self-actualize your settler status immediately.

[Andrew S.]

"I'm white and going to say you're not oppressed because you're cuter than me" bitch, self-actualize your settler status immediately.

What in the fuck does that last part of the sentence even mean?

[Coeus]

"just because I'm a hot chick doesn't mean that I'm not structurally opressed"

which translates to "just because my life is objectively better than yours, doesn't mean I can't claim victim status over yours because my critical theory classes say I absolutely can".

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

What is this I don't even...

[Coeus]

My carry gun was in my car which was stolen. Replaced the car, now I need to replace the gun. I'm thinking about buying the sig sauer p938 BRG. Any body here got one?

[Injun, as in from India]

What did you have before?

[Coeus]

piece of shit keltec p11. I hated the long trigger pull.

[sarcasmic]

I hated the long trigger pull.

Get something that's not DAO.

[Coeus]

Hence the p938

[sarcasmic]

Or you can compromise with a DA/SA. You have the long pull for the first shot, but that cocks it so the next shot has a short pull. Lots of people don't like them though. They're described as a solution looking for a problem. I don't know. When it comes time for me to get a carry piece, I plan to go to a range first and try out some different triggers and see what I like. What I don't want is to have to fumble around with a safety when it's life or death. That's why I lean towards wheel guns.

[Steve G]

What I don't want is to have to fumble around with a safety when it's life or death

That's one reason Iike my P7M8, but I know it's an acquired taste. I know it sure shoots though; I can outshoot longer barreled pistols all day long.

[Bobarian (sexbot hand model)]

P7 is the bomb-diggity, but expensive and hard to find one anymore.

My brother had the P7M13.

[R C Dean]

They're described as a solution looking for a problem.

The problem is on display constantly, with cops and their Glocks:

A light trigger pull for the first shot leads to accidental shootings.

[sarcasmic]

A light trigger pull for the first shot leads to accidental shootings.

Wouldn't cops look at that as more of a feature than a bug? It's not like they're going to face any consequences for an accidental shooting, and they get to kill someone which is the whole point of seeking out the job.

[Bobarian (sexbot hand model)]

A light trigger pull for the first shot leads to accidental shootings.

What about the 12 accidental rounds that follow out of that gun, and the 75 other accidental rounds from the fellow officers guns?

How do you explain those, smart guy?

/Retorical question -- Good Shoot.

[Catatafish]

Never fired one. I have a Para Light Double Action that appears to be very similar in specs (compact 1911 style). It's in .45 ACP, though still very controllable.

[bacon-magic]

Get a S&W bodyguard. I'm a Sig fan but this is the best ccw out there.

[Coeus]

Everybody says that. But they're huge. I need a cnc for slacks.

[sarcasmic]

They're all DAO as well, and you already indicated that you don't want that.

[mamasan]

What happens to all the nutritious meals the low income parents prepare with the Food Stamps provided to them? I am just curious about where all the fucking money goes for food stamps that the kids are not being fed.

[mamasan]

Wrong thread.

[Stephdumas]

Speaking of a little mention of Baltimore about the mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake who wants Americans to save her skin in big way.
http://www.westernjournalism.c.....n-big-way/

[The Late P Brooks]

The problem is on display constantly, with cops and their Glocks:

A light trigger pull for the first shot leads to accidental shootings.

No
shit.
I'll gladly take that long first pull.
I suspect it was in the specs for the GI issue handgun. My Beretta 92 is DA/SA. The "safety" is a decocker.

[Atanarjuat]

Another example proving partisan hatred doesn't make for good humor.

[Rhywun]

See also: Jon Stewart's entire tenure at the Daily Show.