Ready for Hillary? Take Our Quiz and Find Out!
Test your knowledge about the Democratic frontrunner.

Yesterday, former senator and secretary of state Hillary Clinton officially entered the race for the presidency. Clinton has been a part of our national public life for more than two decades now, but how much do you really know about the candidate? Take our quiz and find out!
1. Hillary Clinton's husband is former president and '90s icon (a) Bill Clinton, (b) Kurt Cobain, (c) Urkel, or (d) Andrew Sullivan.
2. Clinton nearly won the Democratic nomination in 2008, but she alienated much of the party base by (a) supporting a disastrous war, (b) cozying up to Wall Street donors, (c) being a political insider at a time when the country was hungry for someone new, or (d) doing these things while a Republican was president.

3. This time around, Clinton's chief rival for the nomination is (a) Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren, (b) Maryland Gov. Tommy Carcetti, (c) singer-songwriter Jimmy Webb, or (d) a powerful but inchoate sense of unease.
4. Though she didn't formally enter the campaign until yesterday, Clinton's supporters have been beating the drums for her candidacy much longer. Their slogan is (a) Ready for Hillary, (b) Resigned to Hillary, (c) Preparing for Chelsea, or (d) What Difference, At This Point, Does It Make?
5. Clinton herself recently deployed the slogan #GrandmothersKnowBest. The context was a debate about vaccines, but her larger point was that (a) the state of medical knowledge has been in decline for two generations now, (b) she has reconsidered the value of gendered stereotypes in politics, (c) you should ask your right-wing grandmother who to vote for, or (d) she's heard about hashtags.

6. Clinton's firm public commitment to marital equality began (a) when she was grown in a pod at an Islamo-Marxist think tank, (b) when her husband briefly flirted with the idea of not hassling gay people in the military, (c) when some right-wing maniac signed something called the Defense of Marriage Act, or (d) two years ago.
7. Clinton's proudest political accomplishment is (a) reforming American health care, (b) liberating Libya, (c) something about a travel office, no one remembers the details, or (d) getting out of Arkansas.
8. Clinton began her political life as a Goldwater girl, then started hanging out with the decentralist radicals Saul Alinsky and Carl Oglesby. She played a role in bringing down Richard Nixon, and her early writing on children's rights was cited approvingly by the godfather of anarcho-capitalism, Murray Rothbard. From these facts we can conclude that (a) she's really Rand Paul, (b) all that later stuff about ClintonCare and the Iraq war and propping up Wall Street was a big misunderstanding, (c) you're gonna sell out too someday, or (d) LIBERTARIAN MOMENT, HERE WE COME!
Answers:
There are no answers. There are only questions. You make the path by walking. Be here now.
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Well played, Reason, well played.
"(a) she's really Rand Paul"
+1 self irony
http://tinyurl.com/oqp4ny7
LIBERTARIAN MOMENT, HERE WE COME!
We can dream
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http://www.work-mill.com
Just do her greatest hits:
Luckily for Clinton, this is patently untrue.
The American people don't like politicians who put the kibosh on their free stuff.
The American people are a bunch of free riding ticks.
So, lie Hillary. You go, girl - lie like a rug.
^ This is hilarious. Really, top stuff.
+1 Zoe Barnes.
I love when retards like her or Tony trot out "trickle-down economics". That's just another way of them saying they don't like the outcomes that capitalism produces.
I was young and inexperienced. And the scope was dirty. Sorry.
1. Urkel
2. Letting her personality show
3. Her hair
4. How could it get any worse?
5. Do what I say or I'll hit yo with this book.
6. When she married down.
7. Exposing the vast right wing patriarchal conspiracy
8. Conclusion: Lizard person
I'm confused. Are these reasons to vote for her, or to not vote for her?
I'd totally vote for a lizard person. Hells yes.
I, for one, would welcome our lizard person overlords.
What choice do you have? None of the GOP candidates are Libertarian so you have to vote for Hillary.
I see what you did there, HAHA.. wait you are serious?
I wonder if we can look forward to some campaign ads in which teenage boys compare voting for the first time to losing their virginity to Hillary Clinton.
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit
Lena Dunham is not a teenager. I think you mean '24 year old fat hipsters talk about losing their virginity to Hillary Clinton.'
A subtle distinction, but it's there.
Also, why does it need to be teenage BOYS you cis-heterosexist rape denier? This is the 21st century, Hazel, and we don't use gendered terms around these parts.
What kind of parts, or can't you say?
Ok, maybe we can look forward to some campaign ads in which some chubby 24 year old hipster trans-women compare voting to losing their virginity to Hilary Clinton.
I had forgotten that tidbit of American political history, thanks for nothing for reminding me about it
Jesus fucking Chitinous Dermal Growth, some of us are eating, here!
"I like my presidential candidates like I like my mother: insufferable and on hormone replacement."
I like my politicians like my mother....dead
Brilliant! I'm going to start using this...
I feel wrong for laughing at that.
(the key is not to say "like I like my mother", because I don't like my mother dead. So just say "like my mother".)
I like my presidential candidates like I like hypothermia...that is, I don't like them.
Maybe Rand Paul will be more like a blizzard for which I'm warmly bundled up.
If the GOP has a clue, they've got someone working on just that.
For some reasons reason I can't see that bunch of humorless burlap sacks doing it.
But I bet Dennis Miller is working on it. I love watching him shit on Hillary. The one kind of scat porn I enjoy.
Okay, speaking of this, did anybody else see Madona kiss Drake recently? How is this not all over Grandma Hillary running for president.
Who is Drake?
The judge ghostwrote this article?
I am going to reserve judgment until Heroic weighs in.
Weighs in with a youtube video.
Well...yeah.
Damn, the staff is really bringing their alt-text A-game today.
THESE ARE GREAT DAYS WE ARE LIVING IN!
LIBERTARIAN MOMENT!
I just got back to the computer.... Are we still in the moment or did I miss it by a few minutes?
Sorry, missed it by that much! *holds up thumb and forefinger 1 inch apart*
Drat.
I was afraid about that.
+99
Forever just over the horizon.
Today is the best day of posts in the 9 (holy shit) years I've been here.
Gallows humor, cupcake. Is that neck a size 9 or 9 1/2? The rope, you understand . . .
I cannot possibly be the only person here who, when someone states they are "ready for Hillary," immediately pictures them bent over with their pants down and cheeks spread.
I envision barricades and heavy ordinance. But then again, I avoid discussing politics with people who'd actually vote for her.
Some people don't consider that a bad thing
Why did I click that? You bastard.
Even after sarc's warning, I still clicked.
You know it's bad when Tosh.0 is eye cleanser.
Even after sarc's warning, I still clicked.
Twice?
Double click mutha fucker! Do you understand it?
He only went blind in one eye at first.
Perhaps the SS Squirrels someone posted a picture of earlier are back from their assorted nuts lunch break.
It appears that not clicking that link at work and letting someone else be the canary was the correct decision.
That's what I usually do.
Big.
Mistake.
I thought about providing a NSFW tag, but I believe it is safe for work.
Plus, if you were reprimanded for it, it would be gay discrimination.
You've got 'em pegged.
Strap-on everyone, it's going to be a bumpy ride.
I see what both of you did there.
And I don't like any of it.
Agreed.
*narrows gaze*
Someone got bent... out of shape.
et tu, Sudden?
I finished my taxes laat night so I was already in that position.
NidhoggRocketman|4.13.15 @ 11:45AM|#
"I cannot possibly be the only person here who, when someone states they are "ready for Hillary," immediately pictures them bent over with their pants down and cheeks spread."
I dunno. I kinda see an old fart on a deathbed with greedy progeny all around; *he's* ready for Hillary!
Is she in a leather ? Whip, chains, stilettos?
Damn, we must be twins, having a psychic moment.
You bad boy
I am ready to feed Hillary legislation in a manner similar the way Albert Spica fed books to Michael in The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover.
As an Arkansas resident, "(d) getting out of Arkansas" is my personal favorite of her accomplishments, regardless of how she feels about it.
While Courtney Love is a waste product, I still find that first question to be offensive. Well done.
I think Chelsea should get more cover stories in fashion magazines. Even compared to her mother, she's extraordinarily accomplished! Who wouldn't be awaiting her opinions with bated breath, given her incredible achievements at hedge funds, NBC News and working for her father's slush fund....I mean charity.
I really like her new logo.
It looks like 9-11.
Its a cloud of cancer-causing smoke?
Brain and ass cancer, yes.
To be clear, I wasn't comparing the logo to the disaster itself. That would be in poor taste, and I'm far too classy for that.
The logo actually looks like a plane flying into the twin towers.
"The logo actually looks like a plane flying into the twin towers."
MOAR PROOF INSIDE JOB!!
if you play her campaign backwards, it says something about satan
Something like this?
Ouch. Keep in mind, her campaign took months to come up with this.
You misspelled "years".
What's Littlefinger doing to that cell phone?
That was the same actor in The Wire, I believe. good catch
I watched some of The Wire only recently and it was bugging me the entire episode where he first appeared, where else I had seen him.
"I know that voice." Eventually, ta-da!
he's a very good character actor. he really feels like an entirely different person in each series.
i only knew him from the Wire and when i saw him in Thrones, i was like, "ah, he does a pretty decent 'subtle irish' accent for a yank"...
of course, he's actually irish... and it was his baltimore-american-accent that was 'good'
His "th" needed some work.
"Tanks, Jimmy."
Lord Baelish, 2016
Look at her logo. It's horrible. Just absolutely horrible. With the homos behind her, you'd think she could hire a competent graphic designer.
A red arrow pointing to the right???
A certain troll is going to be really angry about that.
Have you noticed how all our worst trolls really love horserace politics? It's uncanny.
They have their marching orders.
I see Hillary, but where are all the other horses?
Hospital-Right.
"Preparation H, over there"
I think you are supposed to look at it from the point of view of the H. Then it points left.
It looks like an improved sign for telling you where the hospital is.
As long as you are already at the hospital, it makes perfect sense.
Did she borrow it from here?:
http://cdn1.airplane-pictures....../20933.jpg
Wikileaks is claiming a steal
So basically heavy leaking.
WINNAH!
Excellent.
So good
Beautiful.
*** starts cranking out T-shirts ***
Well done.
How out of touch does one have to be to realize how bad that's going to play?
I guess they don't watch SP in DC?
My first reaction was:
There's ? and ? and ? and [HArrow]
If there were such a thing as gay space-nazis, that would be their 'Swastika'
Looks like a phallus with wings.
Isn't not a boo-boo? I thought it was robbed from mall parking garage - Section H is thatta way . . .
Well, she seems to have the old white lady vote locked up:
http://www.wcvarones.com/2015/.....ppeal.html
That might be enough. Does anyone else vote?
I don't know. My mom (70 years old or so) detests her.
What really drives her nuts is how she claims to be some vaunted breaker of glass ceilings, when in fact she might be the best coat tail jockey of her generation.
My mom who was in that first wave of feminism can't stand that Hillary is pretending she is one of them.
I think I like your mom. My mom is 91 and has dementia. It was funny was John Kerry popped up on TV and she remarked how ugly he was.
So her eyesight still works.
FWIW, after laser surgery, she sees better than I do!
"Clinton's proudest political accomplishment is (a) reforming American health care, (b) liberating Libya, (c) something about a travel office, no one remembers the details, or (d) getting out of Arkansas."
E) Coincidentally becoming partner of a major Arkansan law firm a few months after her husband was elected governor of Arkansas.
You know...coincidentally.
Or how about getting fired from a government lawyer position and having her former boss say she's ethically unfit for elected office?
4. Though she didn't formally enter the campaign until yesterday, Clinton's supporters have been beating the drums for her candidacy much longer. Their slogan is (a) Ready for Hillary, (b) Resigned to Hillary, (c) Preparing for Chelsea, or (d) What Difference, At This Point, Does It Make?
The correct answer is (e) Ban Bossy!
I believe the answer to all is "v) for vagina".
She should totally do the Churchill/Nixon "V" sign whenever she takes the stage, etc.
Gah! Thanks, now I will never see a Churchill picture the same way...
#GrandmothersKnowBest
Now I'll spend the rest of the day worrying about Charlotte.
Hillary as a character of GoT
NO SPOILERS!
That might be an insult to eunuchs everywhere.
Is she not morr of a female Edmure Tully?
Possibly, Walder Frey?
http://cdn3.whatculture.com/wp.....r-Frey.jpg
All the answers are (d), except the last one (you'll hear about the secret marriage to Sullivan right after the inauguration). The answer to the last one is also (d), but it's the (d) from Q4.
Alright, Jesse. I need you and 2Chilly to fight to the death. It's the only way I'm going to be able to decide who I like best.
I like pointing out that when she takes office, she will be less than a year younger than Ronald Reagan when he took office.
I'm sure there are some "doddering old fool" quotes that will be fun to dig out of Lexis/Nexis.
"When"??????
I'm in a pessimist mood today.
Good point. Wasn't Reagan's age a huge campaign thing? She'd be nearly 80 by the end of her second term, and, unlike Reagan, she hasn't exactly aged well. Why haven't we hard more about his in the media? Oh, never mind.
How long into her presidency before she has her next transient ischemic attack? Let's set up a pool. I say, 1 year 7 months.
How long into her presidency before I have my first?
20 minutes?
Might be a plus during the debates:
Mr Pau, your rebuttal.
RP: Well, that may be fine for old worn out, dried up, ignorant sluts like yourself Jane Hillary.
Because it's sexist to treat a woman the same way you'd treat a man. Or something.
I heard bringing up people's ages is sexist. But I don't see how she will bring a fresh take to the white-house, the first true grandmothers perspective we've ever had at the highest elected office in the land. Plus I hear sex at 70 is better than it was at 20.
My 20 year old self would have an argument with my 70 year old self about THAT assertion.
Does that mean she'll refer to Bill as "Daddy"?
Is there a particular body position I need to be in to be truly ready for Hilary?
I recommend the fetal position, weeping about the future of our country.
Lips attached to ass should be good enough.
I think her supporters have that down.
"The Hilary Centipede"
I think he means lips attached to your own ass, kissing it goodbye.
The recovery position. Making sure you don't choke on your own vomit is going to be very important in this campaign season.
That position is for unobstructed deep throat, right?
"I care about you and your epiglottis, girl."
On back, holding legs apart and in the air, 'cause Hillary's ready to piledrive you!
All I got to say is Hell no and get ready for a sickening display of buttpig cankle licking. Ewwww, I need a strong drink to wash that thought away...
She'll rule with an iron vagina.
Lubed up for Hillary...lol
thatwasdisgusting.com
I meant that to be below - it ruins the joke to put it here.
It's a good thing I had no food in my mouth. Asshole.
You know who else ruled with an iron vagina?
Mecha-Streisand?
Marie Hematite?
*** bites lip ***
Margy?
Rosey from The Jetsons?
+1 "Stop this crazy thing!"
Queen Victoria?
Brigitte Helm?
Madonna (the second one)?
Melissandre, The Red Queen?
Katya Kazanova?
Bozhe moi!
The problem with an iron vagina is that no matter how much you keep it lubed up, it still rusts after 70 years.
Imagine Hazel's imaginary 17 year old trying to break the rusted hinge on her iron vagina free.
Didn't Soundgarden do a song about that in the '90s?
I'm gonna break
I'm gonna break myyyyy
I'm gonna break my rusty hiiiiiiiinge
And cuuuum
I like Johnny Cash's version better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtbuUlSGXzc
OH MY GOD
Hillary needs a snazzier logo, something with more potency. Obama got it right:
http://s30.postimg.org/5c71pn6.....domain.jpg
Her logo should be of two cankles standing on the neck of the American public. At least that way it shows she's trying to be honest for once.
How about her cankles wrapped around your waist?
What is wrong with you? Good God man.
In other words: "A cankle on your neck. Forever."
Lubed up for Hillary...lol
thatwasdisgusting.com
"Depend(s) on Hillary!"
+1 or ewwwwwwww, maybe both
Hillary'll inspire us all when she visits one of DC's fine nursing homes to share tips for concealing diaper odor with the resident seniors at jello time.
"Clinton's proudest political accomplishment is (a) reforming American health care, (b) liberating Libya, (c) something about a travel office, no one remembers the details, or (d) getting out of Arkansas."
I had the Today Show on the TV this morning while getting ready for work (because I'm an idiot) and they did a piece on Hilary's whistlestop bus tour to meet the people or whatever. The hagiographer started off by saying the bus would leave her HOMETOWN of Chappaqua, NY, and head to Iowa.
Uh huh.
Also, if you go to Hilary's wikipedia page, there is this hilarious photo:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H.....Center.jpg
Fun fact: wherever you are in the Clinton Presidential Center, that doll on the left is looking right at you.
From the comments I've seen on HuffPo, it seems that HIllary has the old white women on Facebook vote locked up.
It appears that everyone else in the country hates the old bag with a passion.
I was out of town yesterday, so I didn't get the full derp effect. But one Facebook post really did stand out at me:
"I'm taking my daughters to her inauguration".
BARF
Bill Clinton likes this.
I still don't think she gets elected. People who don't like her really don't like her. Even the BBC interviewing people in NYC found a lot of indifference or hostility to her.
Gays also love her, despite the fact that she only became gay friendly when it turned convenient for her.
"she only became gay friendly when it turned convenient "
I see what you did there.
You mean like every single democrat that isn't actually gay themselves?
Goddamnit, didn't we just have an election?
I'm already wishing that Ebola thing had happened. At least it would distract from this shit.
I just found out! I'm Ready for Hillary! Aaaaaahhh!!! sooo excited!!!
Stop that, you're going to call the cankle licker.
Licking cankles takes more skill than you are prepared to admit. You can't just start licking them, you know. You got to warm them up first, play a little Indigo Girls, splash an Australian merlot on them, tell them that no one would ever guess there had been a separate ankle and calf. The, and only then, can you take that first long, slow lick, starting at the callous of the heel and working your way to the underhang of the kneepit.
You're a master!
It's just common sense, really.
*barf*
I held it together until the underhang bit...
Leading to the climax.
There are no answers. There are only questions. You make the path by walking. Be here now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfCPih_PQDQ
my dislike of that band has not diminished in 20 years
they were like the worst of the latecomer 'seattle-copycat bands'. It was like someone in England thought they could just "dress like Nirvana, make similar sounds" and they could completely make up for the lack of talent and songwriting.
They rivaled "Creed" for being the worst thing on earth
Creed is most definitely better than Bush. Bush really, really sucks.
If I was force to listen to either of them, I'd choose Bush. Or death. But not Creed.
*forced*
Glycerine
Nuff said.
It's still better than anything by Creed. You know, I think I'll choose death on this one.
Bush is just forgettable crap, but it fades into the background. Creed is actively offensive.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!!!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!!!!!
Dang double post.
Yet I would trade 1990s music for today's music any day.
You can do that, you know.
That better not be Oasis.
I can't wait for Hillary to announce her team of economic advisers. Robert Reich needs a boost.
What you did there, I see it
It takes a very special person to believe in the mantra that businesses do not create jobs.
Maybe Tony is really Reich:
Maybe Tony is really Hillary.
She'd never leave this much of a "paper" trail.
As usual, I did NOT see what was done there. I'm laughing now.
You have to look very close otherwise you'll miss it.
Goddam it. Did you have to mention that name?!?!? Next thing ya know you'll be proposing Schumer for Attorney General. ARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!
The Dems can't pull that one off. They'd have to replace the first black woman AG. Not happening. And she's definitely the authoritarian type that Hillary loves, so yeah, not happening. They'll have to reserve another spot on the merry-go-ground for Moobz.
He'll join the team shortly.
His resume dwarfs the competition.
But there are those among Team Hillary that think little of him.
"White Dwarf" is racist!!!!!
"Bring our the imp."
Goddamn it.
'out'
Very few can measure up to Robert Reich's stature of intellect and success.
Least of all you.
He's master of his domain over at Cal. Although, short people got no reason to live
You, know I didn't think about it at first, but the "Ready For Hillary" slogan really plays well into my campaign ad idea about young men comparing voting to losing their virginity to Hillary Clinton.
"I'm 17. I've just eaten a pinata full of Viagra and anti-emetics. I'm ready for Hillary."
I so hope that doesn't happen. Think of the feminist harping about double standards when this scandal comes to light.
Everyone giggled at Monica and made fun of her.
The nation would stand and applaud the bravery and fortitude of any young man who had the mettle to go in for a box lunch on Hillary.
Actually, it makes perfect sense, if you're referring to young men losing their anal virginity to Hillary.
We haven't seen buttpig all day because he's been too busy erecting his new life size image of the Canklebeast.
I swear that half of the positive comments about Hillary on HuffPo have to be him. About 90% of them contain the words 'But Bush!'. Seriously.
You know who else was Hitlerish?
Franco?
HEY!
Charlie Chaplin?
Santa?
"6. Clinton's firm public commitment to marital equality began (a) when she was grown in a pod at an Islamo-Marxist think tank, (b) when her husband briefly flirted with the idea of not hassling gay people in the military, (c) when some right-wing maniac signed something called the Defense of Marriage Act, or (d) two years ago."
(e) around the time Bill started pressing her for a threesome
Over-The-Hillary Clinton is just going to prolong Obama's Marxist agenda (with her own, anti-feminism, special touch; which, in my opinion, is beyond ironic 4 obvious reasons).
Was anyone else thoroughly inspired by Hillary's campaign's image of Rosie O'Donnell cuddling with Larry the Cable Guy? I didn't know they were dating, but for some reason it seems appropriate.
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My neighbor took the "Obama 2012" bumper sticker off her Prius and put "Ready for Hillary" in its place.
I am looking for an appropriate retort and we can be all matchy-matchy:
'Ready for Tyranny?'
'Oh, no. Hell, no. Are you CRAZY? '
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