Hillary Clinton Announces Candidacy: 'I'm Hitting the Road to Earn Your Vote'

"Everyday Americans need a champion. I want to be that champion."

Youtube

Hillary Clinton is running for president. She made it official in a just-released campaign video that calls attention to all the mundane things that normal, well-adjusted people will be doing next year instead of seeking the power to control millions of people's lives.

The video is here.

Wait, that's not it! Sorry. Here it is, I promise.

Her campaign website is also live. "Everyday Americans need a champion," it says. "I want to be that champion."

Clinton is expected to easily win the Democratic Party's nomination, though the general election is (at this point) expected to be a close contest, according to Nate Silver.

On the Republican side, Sens. Ted Cruz and Rand Paul have already declared, and Marco Rubio is expected to join the race on Monday. Chris Christie, Jeb Bush, Lindsey Graham, Rick Santorum, Bobby Jindal, Ben Carson, John Bolton, Newt Gingrich, Donald Trump, and many other crazy people may also run. 

Keep checking Reason for all the latest campaign news as this ignoble spectacle continues, eventually giving way to a coronation for one dynasty or the other.

Comments

[Lord Humungus]

You know who else wanted to be the champion of their nation...

[Bam!]

The Cleveland Browns?

[Almanian!]

+1 letdown

[AlmightyJB]

Lou Reed?

[Hamster of Doom]

Cedric Diggory?

[Ayn Random Variation]

The Viper?

[Vampire]

Cobra?

[Statutory Ape]

Manny Pacquiao?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

The female U.S. beach volleyball players at the Olympics...wait, what was the question?

[Dweebston]

Quit eye-raping women. Eye-rape culture is a real and tragic thing.

[Robert]

The Champion?

[Steve G]

Rocky IV?

[Scarecrow Repair]

Jim Thorpe?

[Chumby]

Kurt Vonnegut? But just in the morning.

[Scarecrow Repair]

Wheaties!

[Gene]

Phil Mickelson?

[Anomalous]

Roger Ramjet?

[Jerry on the sea]

Apparently Hillary is not ready to earn the vote of people living in fly-over country, as it seems that all people from the ad are from some liberal enclave in the NE. I also noticed that the white male factory worker does not have any tattoos.

[AlmightyJB]

Of course there is also the women who is movin,g so her daughter doesn't have to go to a shitty school. Moving from? Moving to? Hmmm

[SugarFree]

I thought Chelsea Clinton and her teeth were finished with school.

[Sevo]

'I'm Hitting the Road to Earn Your Vote'

And erasing emails as I go!

[Old Man With Candy]

I love the Arab countries where they throw shoes. "She is on videotape, she is afraid of shoes, hahahaha!"

Mockery. Just sheer mockery if you're going to say anything about her. She's a parody of herself.

[Agile Cyborg]

Hillary is an existential pillory. Though, I'm strangely uncomfortable mocking old white ladies. I want to have naughty dreams about them and then wake up sending them back to their retired fishing husbands with my cum dripping from their wise vagina's. I think adults frequent this place so bring on the hell's bells, bro.

[SusanM]

Yes, but is it art?

[Agile Cyborg]

Art is a shock wave of the mind. When thoughts collide with multiple parallel realities and all that strange energy masses into an atomic inversion on the astroband. I'm not entirely sure what an astroband is though, to be entirely honest. But I ran across that word in the fields of my imagination and I decided to input that collection of letters onto this screed. So, yea, I confess cum dripping from old girl vaginas is the shades of arts...

[SusanM]

So....yes?

[Agile Cyborg]

Sure, Susan. Absolutely. How is this insane and wonderful perversity not some form of escalated art in magical lofts? No matter what that crazy man called SugarFree sez below...

[SugarFree]

There is no such thing as art. It's just your ego shitting out ideas you should have forgotten.

[Agile Cyborg]

You posted an artistically detailed account of how to suck a clit made from ice below and you say the world isn't a place where art can possibly exist ever in the history of the universe. I think your artist is tied up and starving in an icy closet buried deep in your sweet soul, precious boy.

[SugarFree]

There is no art, but the artist remains. An icy closet is too good for him.

[Agile Cyborg]

God-forsaken Machiavelli!!!!!!!!!! Curses!

[SusanM]

Why do I get the feeling this is some sorta Obi-Wan/Darth Vader type of relationship here?

[Hamster of Doom]

Shhhhhh. Just enjoy.

[Rich]

That is pure poetry, SF!

[Vampire]

All this talk about art makes you want to fart. No, don't you freakin start, and stop trying to be bad, because your name isn't Bart.

Keep touching me and you'll get hit in the dick with a dart. If I feel bad enough for your pain, I'll make you a pop tart that I happened to put in my shopping cart.

[Hamster of Doom]

Ladies and gentlemen.... Vanilla Ice.

[Eggs Benedict Cumberbund]

What exactly is an atomic inversion in the astroband?

[Agile Cyborg]

Hillarious the Champion. Imbued with the emanating eye of the saber-toothed tiger which has been genetically expired since the ice age.

[Bam!]

Clinton is expected to easily win the Democratic Party's nomination

I still don't believe that. No one seems to want her to be president. They are, at best, tolerating her.

[Agile Cyborg]

Explosion, the future has arrived on the rickety Clinton yacht. Nothing against the aged. Some of the greatest minds are hundreds of years old... but when you are alive and old and offer nothing truly bright for the future of the greatest nature on the planet you should come to my house and eat some ribs, smoke some pot, and put a few brews back and quit trying to run a fucking country.

[AlmightyJB]

I'm with you. I'm not buying it either. I think the media elite has coordinated her already, but I don;t see her generating a lot of excitement outside of that bubble. I guess if her propaganda folk can control the social media shallow, brainless muck that may be all they have to do.

[wareagle]

except they have no one else. Who are they gonna support instead - Uncle Joe, Lizzie, Bernie Sanders? Ironically, at least Sanders is honest about who he is and what he wants, which means he cannot win and which, frankly, screams volumes about people's view when a serious left-winger puts seriously left-wing views right out in the open.

[AlmightyJB]

No. Someone at the last minute nobody knows anything about and who has no real political experience to criticize. Someone the base can project all of their hopes and dreams onto. Someone dreamy that can make Chris Matthews leg tingle. Of course they still have to have attended the "right" schools and been steeped in marxist ideology.

[wareagle]

Black Jesus was a one-time lighting catch. There is no one else. That she lost to a non-entity like BO is noteworthy, but the bench is empty.

[AlmightyJB]

How about Maggie Hassan or Gina Raimondo? Currents Governors of New Hampshire and Rhode Island respectively. Young, Female, have the pedigree.

[Heroic Mulatto]

I wouldn't wish Hassan on my worst enemy. God, fuck you for even putting that thought in my head. I'm going to have to buy a case of ammo just to clear up the feeling of dread that has just now overcame me.

[AlmightyJB]

Just trying to do my part to help the economy by increasing ammo and alcohol sales:)

[OneOut]

No one outside of Illinois had heard of Obama before Iowa either.

They will have to find someone to excite the masses because this one is worn out and has been ridden hard and put up wet.

[NidhoggRocketman]

No one outside of Illinois had heard of Obama before Iowa either.

I had. I watched him on TV speaking at the DNC in 2004. My immediate reaction was, "oh man, this guy is trouble..."

I hate being right sometimes.

[LarryA]

Someone at the last minute nobody knows anything about and who has no real political experience to criticize. Someone the base can project all of their hopes and dreams onto. Someone dreamy that can make Chris Matthews leg tingle. Of course they still have to have attended the "right" schools and been steeped in Marxist ideology.

And someone diverse. "The first ________ president."

Obama has pretty well used up black, and Clinton has female sewed up, but there are plenty of other PC identities available.

In particular, if the Democrats nominate the first openly LGBT president, Republicans will self-destruct. Ds won't even have to campaign.

[AlmightyJB]

There is Kate Brown who's Bi.Looks more like a Warren VP candidate.

[MarkLastname]

I'd say Warren is The One. But she's already said she's not running, and if she keeps that promise, there's really no one else. Sanders is too absurd even for them; Joe Biden '16! God I hope he runs.

[Vampire]

Clinton probably made deals with Warren already and explained she can do more damage at the fed, and face no resistance. Whereas if she was president, she doesn't know the job (which Hillary has some experience) and it would be so much harder to force their agenda.

[John C. Randolph]

They are, at best, tolerating her.

Sure, but just like the last time, they have to play along until someone shows up with more victim cards.

-jcr

[Agent Cupcake]

Sexist!

I had to get that out of th way first.

[Bam!]

Not sure what banner image you get when you go to hillaryclinton.com but the one I got makes it look like Hillary is in an old folks home, waiting for her children to visit.

[Pinky]

There certainly is a lot of Photoshopping in that banner photo. It's pretty obvious that Hillary's hair was not photographed in any light existing in that room at the time everyone else in the room was photographed. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that the person (body) holding the coffee cup is Hillary's Secret Service stunt double and the entire head, hair and face, are Hillary's taken years earlier in a New York advertising company's photo studio.

[SugarFree]

Slate throws a towel down on the floor and starts sucking.

[Agile Cyborg]

How do you suck a clit made from ice?

[SusanM]

Carefully.

[Agile Cyborg]

I wager 'strategically', dear. But, even I must admit defeat to the girlzoids (in this case the preeminent SusanM) and their clits and their blueprints of pleasure.

[SugarFree]

First, you set at least four pitons very deep in the craggy thighmeat of the beast. Once secured, run at least 15 meters of 300 pound test rope in a criss-cross pattern through the D-rings of a twat-proof sucking vest and the pitons. Once neither you nor the bearer of the ice clit can escape, carefully perform an orchidectomy on yourself and then insert the torn out testicles, once in each anal opening. Then liberally lube the ice clit with your fierce tears and begin.

[Almanian!]

Not gonna lie - that doesn't sound like a whole lotta fun....

[Agile Cyborg]

Almanian! The sweet name sounds like an Egyptian fucking King that uses millions of tired servants to build pyramids so no big surprise there. 🙂

[MarkLastname]

Actually, Almanian means 'German.' Not sure which language, maybe Turkish, but it definitely means German. Which of course means he murders homosexuals and minorities for sport.

[Agile Cyborg]

The world's first scientific explanation on how Bill Clinton (and boytoys) licks his wife's clit.

[Old Man With Candy]

I hate when that happens.

[wadair]

Slate says:

But Clinton's launch has a much simpler message: This campaign is about you, not me.

Really? Something about her past convinces me that it's not at all about me.

[lap83]

It's about how gullible she thinks the electorate is

[AlmightyJB]

She knows how gullible they are. No one said she wasn't savvy.

[TimothyZ]

Don't underestimate her. If she take this tack and sticks to it, I'd bet the republicans are in serious trouble at best. If Hilary goes down, it's not because of democracy but a misstep of oligarchy.

[wareagle]

I can't do it. Just. Cannot. Click. On. That. Link.

[Robert]

What, the campaign vid? It's actually pretty interesting until the candidate comes on, which is most of the way thru anyway.

[Hamster of Doom]

Hilary, now starring as the Violator.

[AlmightyJB]

Love the Galadriel tease Soave:)

[PapayaSF]

Yes.

[GILMORE]

Second the motion = well played

[wadair]

It's interesting that she says that hard working Americans struggle to get ahead against those who stack the deck against them when she is a deck-stacker if there ever was one. From her extremely "lucky" futures trading, to using her own email server against government regulations, she has benefitted greatly from a deck stacked in her favor. I hope her opponents beat her senseless with this truth.

[PapayaSF]

It is known how the futures scam worked. A corrupt commodities dealer simply assigns winning trades to the favored client, and losing trades to an unfavored client (or clients). It's a clever way of paying a bribe or making a payoff. And in fact Hillary's dealer was convicted of that, though in another case not involving her.

[robc]

The losing trades may also be with a favored client who funnels donations that way.

[Coyote Blue]

Here's her daughter wearing a few thousand in fabric and baubles to demonstrate how 'down with the hard working americans' the C Clan is:
http://www.elle.com/culture/ce.....-may-2015/

[I'm sure she earned it through the sweat of her brow]

[SugarFree]

Except for a few fellow travelers, most of the commenters are giving Horsey Sauce shit. It's warms the dark parts of my dead heart to see it.

[Vampire]

Yummy, mind if I rip your heart out and eat it?

[PapayaSF]

I am always astonished at the partisan vitriol that people are willing to put under their real names as Facebook comments.

[OneOut]

Yes, Chelsea made the comment that she once tried to care about money but just coudn't seem to convince herself that money mattered to her. That was after she was let go from her $600,00 a year job as a journalist.

It amazes me that people like her think that others really believe such utter bullshit. But I guess some do, or at least they never get called on it because they keep living one way and talking another.

[Bill Dalasio]

It's interesting that she says that hard working Americans struggle to get ahead against those who stack the deck against them when she is a deck-stacker if there ever was one.

Exactly.

i'd add that she was actually part of the administration that has held power for the last eight years. If things are "stacked against" normal hard-working Americans, who exactly is it she thinks did the stacking?

[lap83]

Her campaign website is also live. "Everyday Americans need a champion," it says. "I want to be that champion."

God, she's clueless. No one likes you, you evil old hag.

[VG Zaytsev]

Hillary: here to help you whether you want it or not.

[EdWuncler]

I don't know about you guys but I find it a huge coincidence with Clinton annoucning her run for President and Cersei Lannister returning to television tonight. If you think about it, Cersei and Hillary both have striking simularities. For one thing, they both have their power simply because of their husbands. Secondly, both think they are competent while in reality everything they touch turns to shit.

Her fucking candidacy is going to be an effing shit show.

[Almanian!]

Cersei Lannister

Literally didn't know who that was. Ah! Game of Drones! Don't watch. Done and done.

[PapayaSF]

http://www.gameofdrones.com

[Almanian!]

Dear God in heaven - that's better than I could have dreamed!

[PapayaSF]

It's not my thing, but I sort of know those guys.

[Fatty Bolger]

With Hillary and Fauxcahontas running it will be more like Game of Crones.

[GILMORE]

+ Hagtastic

[Eggs Benedict Cumberbund]

Yea but Cersei has some nice tits.

[Almanian!]

Can't wait to not vote for this bitch. The fact that we're at a point in this country where Dubya and Obo were both elected twice, and Hillary FUCKING CLINTON has a better than even chance at a party's nomination.....

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

Fuck both teams and their drone voters. I just want to be left alone. Can a brother just get left alone?

No...

[sarcasmic]

You can ignore government, but it won't ignore you.

[SugarFree]

Kind of like an evil Santa Claus.

[Almanian!]

Or Old Man With Candy - just when I think I'm out they PULL me back in!

[Chumby]

Old men woth candy pull themselves back in. Just sayin.

[GregMax]

If you don't have anything it wants it will ignore you.

[EdWuncler]

You can't be left alone because it's for your own good.

[Bam!]

I suspect we'll see something like this play out... again.

[EdWuncler]

+1

[lap83]

"Dear Lord Jesus, I do not often speak with you and ask for things, but now, I really must insist that you help me win the election tomorrow because I deserve it and Paul Metzler doesn't, as you well know. I realize that it was your divine hand that disqualified Tammy Metzler and now I'm asking that you go that one last mile and make sure to put me in office where I belong so that I may carry out your will on earth as it is in heaven. Amen."

[Agile Cyborg]

What sort of pie would Hillary make?

[SugarFree]

Hair and beans.

[Hamster of Doom]

Testicles and the tears of her enemies.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Clinton is expected to easily win the Democratic Party's nomination, though the general election is (at this point) expected to be a close contest, according to Nate Silver.

Anyone want to bet she doesn't even get the nomination?

She was the shoo-in 8 years ago and got her lunch handed to her by a nobody.

[sarcasmic]

I'll take that bet. The loser gets to declare on the Mourning Lynx that they are the other's bitch, every morning, for a week.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

She's way favored. I should get odds, but I'll take that bet straight up if you make it the PM links. (I'm not up that early.)

[sarcasmic]

I don't do PM links. I'm driving home from work when they're posted.

[Rich]

Anyone want to bet she doesn't even get the nomination?

Before I commit to the action, we need to tighten up the terminology.

Does "not getting the nomination" include withdrawing from the race "so as to not be a distraction" or "to avoid putting my family through this"?

[GILMORE]

"Anyone want to bet she doesn't even get the nomination?

She was the shoo-in 8 years ago and got her lunch handed to her by a nobody."

Totally different scenario.

She'll get the nom without any effort. In fact, that seems to be the plan, since statistics show, "the more people see of Hillary, the less people like her". why announce on a Sunday? So that she wont' dominate the headlines and ruin people's day. She wants to be the stealth candidate that remains little-mentioned.

There's no one in the dem field to challenge her, and her candidacy has been teed up for the last 3 years. Unlike the post-bush scenario, there is no fired-up base. there's a bitter sense that they want to cling on to power, and no one is a more bitter-clinger-to-power than this crusty old hag.

I think Rand could beat her in the general if the GOP doesn't completely spend every waking moment trying to buddy-fuck-him (which i believe they will)

[Francisco d'Anconia]

We are 18 months out. The one thing I can say about long-term political predictions is...they NEVER turn out as predicted.

[GILMORE]

Yes, but i think the window for any dem challenger to appear and build a case for themselves is closing.

your point would be well-made, but for the fact that the DNC is basically acting like theres simply *no one else* even planning to try. If fauxcahontas were being more cagey about her plans, i'd give your point more credit. but she's pretty clear she's not going to run.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Perhaps. Time will tell. I'll be shocked if she's the only democratic candidate, but I've been wrong before.

What happens when she shits the bed with a scandal next June?

[Beautiful Bean Footage]

Obfuscation and spin on the part of the weakstream media.

[PapayaSF]

Hillary once defended a child rapist in court, and got him off by attacking the character of the victim. That woman is alive and still resents what Hillary did to her. A campaign ad with that woman, plus the interview clip of Hillary laughing about getting the rapist off, would be a nuclear, Willy Horton level attack, but I'd be shocked if no one did it.

[Chumby]

People supporting her know age is evil so I'm not sure it would affect her numbers much.

[Chumby]

...know she is evil...

[Bill Dalasio]

True. But, elections aren't decided by either side's supporters, are they. They're generally decided by people who make up their minds between the candidates.

[MarkLastname]

Obama wasn't a nonentity even two years before the election. He was low in the official hierarchy, but he was already something of a celebrity and was already regarded as the Dems' boy wonder.

The current 'boy wonder' of the party seems to be Liz Warren, and I don't think she'll go back on her word and run; it'd make her look like too much of a bitch.

[OneOut]

But she is going to be "drafted" by "the people" and it would be irreaponsible for her not to answer the call of the little people crying out from the wilderness for someone to lead them into the light.

It would be her duty to answer the call.

[Ayn Random Variation]

"She'll get the nom without any effort. In fact, that seems to be the plan, since statistics show, "the more people see of Hillary, the less people like her". why announce on a Sunday? So that she wont' dominate the headlines and ruin people's day. She wants to be the stealth candidate that remains little-mentioned."

You're correct, but like Kerry, who always went down in the polls when he showed his face, they're too damn egotistical to stay in the shadows. It's all about power and fame and the adoration of the crowd with them.

[OneOut]

"I think Rand could beat her in the general if the GOP doesn't completely spend every waking moment trying to buddy-fuck-him (which i believe they will)"

It has already begun.

Karl Rove's PAC has already spent 1 million on an ad trying to tie Rand Paul with Obama. The gist of it was that Paul was with Obama's foreign policy in the Middle East.

[Jerry on the sea]

After watching the Clinton clip, here is some soothing Hitch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cf8CUgAj_84

[Dweebston]

Odds he was sauced during this interview?

Trick question, he was always sauced.

[wareagle]

the poster child for cronyism wants to "help" ordinary Americans. Reagan sounds more right with each recitation of that "I'm from the govt...." line.

[Coyote Blue]

Seen floating through the prog-spere: Hillary's all we got!
http://www.forwardprogressives.....need-face/

"Even if we break this down to its simplest form, ignoring any mention of who is or isn't running for president, then the question really comes down to: Who do you want potentially replacing four Supreme Court Justices in the next 8 to 10 years ? a Democrat who supports same-sex marriage, abortion rights, health care and the separation of church and state, or a Republican who opposes all of that and then some?"

[wareagle]

the Court has leaned for a long time and abortion is still here. It was this Court that made O-care the law. SSM will resolve itself and the separation remains. Sorta kills the rationale for Hillary.

[Ayn Random Variation]

I love that anyone not a Democrat is "against" health care. Yeah, fuck all them doctors and hospitals and shit.

[GILMORE]

MEDICINE IS FER COMMIES

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Nothing says "Champion of the Everyday American" like ignoring them for the next month after your campaign launch

[SugarFree]

She cares nothing about your patriarchal concepts like time.

[Hamster of Doom]

It's a damned shame Ann Richards is dead. I think it'd be worth the bullshit of a presidential election if our contenders were Rand Paul vs. Ann Richards.

[Rich]

Clinton's press office left an embarrassing typo in its press announcement, saying that she had 'fought children and families all her career'

Even supposing it *is* a typo, an indication of the reckless hubris of these clowns.

And notice how the Democrats are always "fighting" for whatever. Not "working", mind you, or negotiating -- but "fighting". No wonder they're such warmongers.

[Rich]

What a nasty video. "I'm hitting the road to" stir up class warfare!

[Dweebston]

It's literally all they've got. If Clinton ran on her foreign policy bona fides, she'd be torn apart both by the right over Benghazi and by the left over her marginal right-leaning war footing. Social justice is buttoned up for the left but isn't winning her voters in the squishy middle, let alone the right who abhors what's being done to small businesses. So she's got economic populism and envy. After two terms of Obama there will be nothing reconcilable between successful and middle-class Americans, and her base.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Rand Paul releases Clinton attack ad

[Rich]

"Take our country back."

What a RACIST!

[Agile Cyborg]

So, Hillary without Bill. I actually thought she handled Bill's sexual play world fine like a thoughtful closeted swinger type, but beyond that what would wife Hillary be without prez Bill in a general sense like a farmer's market type world?

I wager Hillary is a reasonably intelligent, sensual, open-minded woman who likely has a boytoy or two and approves of her husband's dalliances because she plays and he talks with her about his sexual play pastimes. But Hillary is a relaxed Marxist and so are all the gents and ladies running her logarithmic ads all the places and beyond.

Hillary will be defeated because her feminism will never allow her to be seen as loving men. She will lose because men cannot connect with her. It's that simple.

[american socialist]

"Other than the prospect of watching the heads of right-wing cultists heads explode, is there a compelling reason for people who believe in social democracy and limited government to vote for her?"

...although I would say that watching people who use the most bigoted and sexist language to describe her tell us the end is nigh (for the 3rd time in the 21st century) if she gets elected is at least a legitimate talking point. I really would have to think about it.

[lap83]

"..although I would say that watching people who use the most bigoted and sexist language to describe her tell us the end is nigh"

As a woman I'm offended by the implication that Hillary should be insulted less just because she's the same gender as me.

[Hamster of Doom]

^This. Fuck that slaver. She can take it.

[Ayn Random Variation]

Come on, everyone knows women, minorities, gays and religious people who aren't Christians and Jews are so helpless that they need white liberals to speak for them.

Now shut up, get back on the reservation, hop in your Prius, and take your kids to soccer practice.

[american socialist]

You think it's ok to use sexist and bigoted language? Fuck off, toots... You so sound like some old hag that needs a dick.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Around these parts, we prefer such sentiments to be expressed in song, you fucking cunt.

[lap83]

"You think it's ok to use sexist and bigoted language? "

I think that the sexism card doesn't work on someone who's an extremely horrible representative of their gender.

"Fuck off, toots... You so sound like some old hag that needs a dick."

Well, I'll give you a C+ for effort, but sorry. I'm not going to curl up and cry like the women you're used to.

[american socialist]

Pleeze... My wife is the boss and I know it. I'm just saying that I'm more inclined to vote for Billary the more her crazy and boorish detractors employ their Special rhetoric. Don't worry I'm not a fan of someone that all of us right-wingers know is a total hag bitch cunt.

[GILMORE]

"crazy and boorish detractors"

as opposed to her 'supporters'?

[Eggs Benedict Cumberbund]

Beta male

[Chumby]

lap83

Amsoc is used to helpless women. He basically stated that when his wife signed the mortgage she wasn't capable enough to understand what she was dping and thus got taken advantage of by those slick-talking male finance agents. Luckily for her he was able to step in and hire an attorney to make it all go away.

[Marshall Gill]

I'm not going to curl up and cry like the women you're used to

This is why there are so few women libertarians. Because they are so awesome!

[Beautiful Bean Footage]

You think it's ok to use sexist and bigoted language? Fuck off, toots... You so sound like some old hag that needs a dick.

You think it's ok to use identity politics to divide people into tinier and tinier slivers of groups to make them afraid and hateful of each other, instead of seeing them as, I dunno, people?

Fuck off, idiot. You sound like some pasty 20 something living in his mom's basement that can't get a job or any pussy and takes out his rage on his situation on the streets of Hyrule or Pandora instead of in the real world like disaffected youths used to.

[Hamster of Doom]

Toots. I mean... toots.

I'm not satisfied. All the words you could have gone with, and you pick the soft option. Agile Cyborg is throwing around words like "pillory" and "spongemob" and you offer us this limp effort? Way to go for the short reach, yo.

Overall score: 1/10

[GILMORE]

I love how the socialist thinks "spitting on people" shows moral superiority

[Heroic Mulatto]

All you need to know about american sociopath.

[Win Bear]

You think it's ok to use sexist and bigoted language?

Using gender-appropriate swear words and insults is neither sexist nor bigoted. I mean, it hardly would make sense to refer to Hillary's penis when insulting her (or would it?).

[Eggs Benedict Cumberbund]

You sure about that, I mean she might really be part hyena with a vestigial penis, there is also the Snuke so really who knows what is down there.

One things for sure, she is a cunt.

[Agile Cyborg]

I forgot all the rape shit going round all the vectors.

Since all the men are rapist from birth and colleges are cages of victims I must formulate that Hillary cannot be elected without rapists.

[american socialist]

Other than the prospect of watching the heads of right-wing cultists heads explode, is there a compelling reason for people who believe in social democracy and limited government to vote for her?

[MarkLastname]

"who believe in social democracy and limited government"
Um, you do know what the definition of social democracy is, don't you? 'Cause those two terms are antonyms.

[Eggs Benedict Cumberbund]

He just forgot to pay his mortgage?

[Agammamon]

Your asking *us*?

[BigT]

"Other than the prospect of watching the heads of right-wing cultists heads explode, is there a compelling reason for people who believe in social democracy and limited government to vote for her?"

Because when the phone rings at 3 am, whom do you want taking that call from our ambassador in Libya?

Oh, wait...

[Libertarian]

"Because when the phone rings at 3 am, whom do you want taking that call from our ambassador in Libya?"

One would hope that if HC gets the nomination, the R's will produce a campaign ad pointing this out. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

[BigT]

This could be one in a very long string of 'reminder' ads that highlight her failures and scandals. Cattle futures, arrival 'under fire', "I do not recall" x 50, "I proudly cast my vote for Iraq war", "we were poor", you've got mail, etc. I'd gladly help write a few.

[Chumby]

Hey Amsoc

There are the shoot-the-moon anarchists that support the worst candidate each election believing that this will lead to a collapse, which will result ib a reset and potentially anarchy. So there's another reason to vote for her.

[Chumby]

Oh, and she voted for the Iraq Invasion. I know how you like big government programs that cost trillions and result in the death of innocent lives. So there is that.

[american socialist]

As I said, I'm not inclined to vote for her and certainly not for any of her Republican challengers. I accept your premise so why don't you take a chill pill?

[Hamster of Doom]

Said the guy who went all RAWR RAWR *toots* RAWR LOOK AT ME *you need dick* SO EDGY.

Because he's chill like that, y'all. Smooth as butter on a bald chihuahua.

[Chumby]

Those are both quality and legitimate responses to a question you asked. Guess another instance of a prog not like hearing truth

[Ghetto Slovak Goatherder]

The funny thing about all this is the progressives are sort of like the right-libertarians.

During each election cycle it seems Republicans want libertarians to vote for them because lesser of two evils, team blue is terrible, libertarians won't win anyway.

Well, look at this comment on NYT from a progressive:

"Thanks but no thanks. I did my part for history twice, and all it got me was more war and a happier Wall Street. This time Im staying home. You cannot force Hillary Clinton down my throat by telling me the Republicans are worse.

I voted for Obama largely because of his vote against the Iraq war; that told me, I thought, that a young and unseasoned politician still had the courage to stand against the tide.

My vote is precious to me; it cannot be bought; it isn't bestowed where the stink is least. The Clintons will always go where the money is. They don't need me."

[Agile Cyborg]

I think the Ghetto is fomenting sponge rage. And those sponges are right and left spongemobs. and the Ghetto Slov here has unpended all sorts of rage dictionaries into glowing peripheries of Slov. So for this game to exist in the world of the great beyond the Ghetto Slovs must survive and earn the swords of dove calls... seem strange? not really since politics is the strangest fiction man has ever fucking created... no movie, tv tube, or book can replicate what these dummies do to fuck with our lives longterminable...

[Agile Cyborg]

The irons c(law)s of humans (do not fucking ask me how I typed that shit high sweet dicks and vaginas) are no respecter of persons who wish to live live free on Slov Ghettos... hmmm... my brain is working here in the tidal waves of all sorts ins and outs and SLOV GHETTO doesn't seem free, but ... let us insert on your touchscreen a microdot hyperloop into interdimensional space worming its way to the greatest bar where all the 'real' stars hang out... None of this holywood shit.. like real stars.. named by real geeks from the last centuries... let's all drink with those fucking burning piles of dimensional fodder,,, you don't want your dick or vagina on a real star but traveling into that strange bar near andromeda and the light galaxies might make a great fucking and awesome picnic, little bears.

[Ghetto Slovak Goatherder]

I'm... I'm so humbled.

[Hamster of Doom]

"Spongemobs" needs to be a part of our vernacular.

[lap83]

Spongemob square pants?

[Vampire]

Noooo!!! Smashedspongemob sheisser pants.

[lap83]

btw, I love your username

[Hamster of Doom]

Thanks.

[Eggs Benedict Cumberbund]

Yea its pretty epic. Right up there with Lord Humunguous and Doctor Whom (my personal fav)

[Dixon Sider]

There are too many good names here; I can't pick just one.

[Ayn Random Variation]

"I voted for Obama largely because of his vote against the Iraq war; that told me that I'm an idiot, since Obama wasn't in Congress during the vote."

[Win Bear]

The funny thing about all this is the progressives are sort of like the right-libertarians.

Democrats aren't all progressives. And what Obama said he wanted to do was arguably closer to libertarianism than what McCain or Romney were promising. Obama's problem wasn't his political program, it was his incompetence and dishonesty.

In any case, the right choice for a libertarian voter is probably not the candidate that promises the most libertarian program, but the candidate that is most likely to produce gridlock: political incompetence and lack of power is easier to identify than dishonesty.

On that scale, Hillary is a bad choice because she probably would get things done: mostly, crony capitalism and starting wars.

[ianthefish]

Isn't that the sweetest fucking thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

[Vampire]

To bad that person would still want someone to be elected that will enslave others to their liberal agenda through violence ( that they themselves don't have to take part in ).

[Lord Humungus]

And the nation let out a collective yawn...

[John C. Randolph]

Campaign slogan: "It's my TURN, you goddamned peasants!"

-jcr

[GroundTruth]

At least that's more honest that the "Ready for Hillary!" bumper stickers that I see here in the People's Republic of Taxachusetts.

[GroundTruth]

btw, can we get a faux Hillary bumper sticker made up to look like her's, but with the slogan "Ditch the Bitch!"?

[BigT]

You need to paste a target sticker right next to the ready for hildebeast.

[VG Zaytsev]

The real Hillary announcement.

[Libertarian]

"Everyday Americans need a champion. I want to be that champion."

Good god, it's impossible for me to read that and not think that Don Draper created it. I can hear his pitch to the client. Something about letting the little guy know that Hillary is on your side. And then the double entendre with the last word: "You'll have someone to support you. A champion."

[Robert]

I don't watch a lot of campaign vids, but is this normal? It's like, here's someone preparing to do this, here's someone anticipating that, here's someone running for president...like she's trying to sneak that one in there. Unless this is a trend, it lends credence to the idea that she's not serious about running.

[Chinny Chin Chin]

it lends credence to the idea that she's not serious about running.

Robbie, my lamb, you're the only person in the universe who thinks she's not serious about running.

Everyone else knows she's desperate for power.

[BigT]

OK, Hitlary, make like shit and hit the road.

[John Galt]

Brace for murder rates to spike again.

[Chumby]

I bet more guns are purchased this week than last.

[Rebel Scum]

I hate the thought, but I project a Hillary/Bush showdown. As amusing (by 'amusing' I mean 'sad with comedic undertones') as it may be, it will also be the biggest "Fuck You" both major parties can give to their respective bases. Hello, Political Dynasty, you cold & heartless bitch.

[Libertarian]

It's nice to imagine that such a match up would keep tens of millions of potential voters home, thus robbing the victor of any meaningful legitimacy. However, I fear that it would instead cause both sides to rally the rabble by saying that the election was so very, very important because we MUST keep the other team out of the White House.

[Sevo]

Every election is the most important in history! That's the reason Kennedy stole it from Nixon with the Chi-town dead-votes!

[PapayaSF]

I love it that the campaign is selling "Ready for Hillary" dog leashes. A little foreshadowing for us peons.

[Robert]

Makes me think of that character from The Hidden saying, "I want to be president."

[Troy muy grande boner]

[slaps her ass as she walks by] "Hey toots, why don't you shut your yap and champion me up a sammich.

[Libertarian]

And so it begins..............

http://freebeacon.com/politics.....las-vegas/

Hundreds of posters criticizing Hillary Clinton have begun cropping up in areas around New York City and Las Vegas, according to numerous photographs obtained by the Washington Free Beacon.

[Rich]

Obviously those people just hate her for the color of her skin because she self-identifies as a woman.

[GILMORE]

i'll give them points for borrowing from the "Hope" iconographic palette, and making into the rightfully-totalitarian looking shit that it is.

[Hamster of Doom]

We need a JokerHope version.

[sasob]

"Everyday Americans need a champion. I want to be that champion."

Isn't that essentially what the mofo who presently occupies the office has been telling us for the last seven years or so?

[Chumby]

I think protesters show up at every campaign event dressed in a blue dress and a beret.

I still think Chelsea needs to intern for Mr. Lewinsky.

[AbeFrohman]

They're ripping that logo of hers to shreds already.

[Sevo]

Anybody seen Zeb tonight?
Over on the Wiki thread, s/he was claiming that advertisers influence editorial content, so Wiki shouldn't sell ads.
Maybe; I'm seeing 'Hag for Prez' ads and I don't think Shrill has influenced the editorial content here at all.

[Win Bear]

I'm confused: is Hillary wearing a Halloween mask of Hillary for her own campaign announcement? Whatever it is, it sure looks scary.

[fixuzol]

Google pay 97$ per hour my last pay check was $8500 working 1o hours a week online. My younger brother friend has been averaging 12k for months now and he works about 22 hours a week. I cant believe how easy it was once I tried it out.
This is wha- I do...... ?????? http://www.netjob80.com

[Sanjuro Tsubaki]

If she hits the road, that's fine with me, but she won't be getting my vote. Dumb b*****.

[John C. Randolph]

I really wish we still had Christopher Hitchens around to shred Hillary Clinton.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekXEfjdUWV8

-jcr

[David_B]

One thing we already know for certain, the next 16 years are going to be as bad, or worse than the previous 16 years, no matter who wins the presidential election. Because we all know that it doesn't really matter who we vote for, as the agenda is already set, and no matter who gets into office, the agenda will continue to play out as planned.

[GregMax]

Hillary is an empty pantsuit.

[cfskyrim]

One word, seppuku

[yanakav]

Google pay 97$ per hour my last pay check was $8500 working 1o hours a week online. My younger brother friend has been averaging 12k for months now and he works about 22 hours a week. I cant believe how easy it was once I tried it out.
This is wha- I do...... ?????? http://www.netjob80.com

[rohupojebo]

Google pay 97$ per hour my last pay check was $8500 working 1o hours a week online. My younger brother friend has been averaging 12k for months now and he works about 22 hours a week. I cant believe how easy it was once I tried it out.
This is wha- I do..... ????? http://www.netjob80.com