Ferguson

Here Is the Ferguson-Inspired Nickelback Song You Didn't Know You Wanted

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So this exists and 2 million people have watched it since it was released in September: 

The natural impulse of any sentient being here is to deploy some serious anti-Nickelback snark, tear apart the poorly thought-out political philosophy in the lyrics, and then try to locate some ear bleach.

But actually, the fact that these mass culture dingleberries thought that a song based on the unrest in Ferguson was a good idea is kind of encouraging. And heck, Nickelback isn't the only act getting in on the Ferguson bandwagon. Even the great MC Hammer has bestirred himself.

Here's what Nickelback's lead yahoo, Chad Kroeger, told Yahoo!Music when the album was released last month:

Wiederhorn: Another new thing on No Fixed Address is you've written what might be your most poignant political song, "Edge of a Revolution." What motivated you to go that route?

Kroeger: I don't know if North America is on the edge of a revolution, but I wanted it to feel that way in the song, since it feels that way in so many other parts of the world. You turn on CNN and it's like, "Wow!" We'd have it on for 15 minutes and we'd have to shut it off because it was so depressing. The state of affairs in the world these days is so dismal. And I think that's where the song definitely came from. While we were working, the [shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri] was a major story and there was rioting like crazy. So it definitely felt like the seeds of revolution were being planted.

OK, so this is not exactly a sophisticated critique of the militarization of police, the racial bias in our criminal justice system, or the insularity of law enforcement. That's OK. If you're looking for that stuff, Reason can help you out.

Instead, consider this a barbaric yawp driven by a cultural swell of disapproval for the kind of behavior exhibited by the police in Ferguson, both in the shooting of Michael Brown and the aggressive response to the protests after the fact. And just try to ignore the fact that the video—after a churn of Guy Fawkes masks, anti-NSA invective, and little floating nuclear symbols—confusingly ends with uniformed children chanting and thrusting their fists forward in unison. Because…freedom?

Also relevant: Scientific proof that Nickelback sucks ass, and Why does everyone hate on Nickelback so much?

All the godawful lyrics below: 

"Edge Of A Revolution"

Head high, protest line
"Freedom" scribbled on your sign
Headline, New York Times
Standing on the edge of a revolution

Hey, hey, just obey.
Your secret's safe with the NSA
In God we trust or the CIA?
Standing on the edge of a revolution

Yeah, we're standing on the edge of a revolution
Revolution, revolution, revolution

No, we won't give up, we won't go away
'Cause we're not about to live in this mass delusion
No, we don't wanna hear another word you say
'Cause we know they're all depending on mass confusion
No, we can't turn back, we can't turn away
'Cause it's time we all relied on the last solution
No, we won't lay down and accept this fate
'Cause we're standing on the edge of a revolution

Wall Street, common thief
When they get caught they all go free
A brand-new yacht and a finder's fee
Standing on the edge of a revolution

Same shit, different day
Can't keep fed if I can't get paid
We'll all be dead if the shit don't change
Standing on the edge of a revolution

Yeah, we're standing on the edge of a revolution
Revolution, revolution, revolution

No, we won't give up, we won't go away
'Cause we're not about to live in this mass delusion
No, we don't wanna hear another word you say
'Cause we know they're all depending on mass confusion
No, we can't turn back, we can't turn away
'Cause it's time we all relied on the last solution
No, we won't lay down and accept this fate
'Cause we're standing on the edge of a revolution

We'll all be dead if this shit don't change
Hey hey hey hey

What do we want? We want the change
And how're we gonna get there? Revolution
What do we want? We want the change
Standing on the edge of a revolution

What do we want? We want the change
And how're we gonna get there? Revolution
What do we want? We want the change
Standing on the edge of a revolution

No, we won't give up, we won't go away
'Cause we're not about to live in this mass delusion
No, we don't wanna hear another word you say
'Cause we know they're all depending on mass confusion
No, we can't turn back, we can't turn away
'Cause it's time we all relied on the last solution
No, we won't lay down and accept this fate
'Cause we're standing on the edge of a revolution

What do we want? We want the change
And how're we gonna get there? Revolution
What do we want? We want the change
Standing on the edge of a revolution

What do we want? We want the change
And how're we gonna get there? Revolution
What do we want? We want the change
Standing on the edge of a revolution