Police Abuse

NYPD Cops Tell Comedian to "Shut the Fuck Up" After Interrupting to Arrest Alleged Theater Masturbator

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Cops from the New York Police Department (NYPD) stormed in during stand-up comedian Adam Newman's act to arrest a homeless man allegedly masturbating in the theater.

The audience quieted down for the police but like a pro the stand-up comedian tried to talk through the incident and incorporate it into his routine. The cops didn't appear to appreciate it, especially when he asked them if they really couldn't wait until after the set to make that arrest, responding that he should shut the fuck up. Watch below, where the cops come in at about 40 seconds in:

Newman made a comment about the profanity but eventually apologized to the cops. After they left, he noted that usually he'd go crazy on a heckler who told him to shut the fuck up but that it's different with cops, and he couldn't tell them to shut the fuck up, could he?

These cops must not have heard about the civilian complaint review board chairman's desire to see police use less profanity on the job.

h/t sarcasmic

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  1. h/t sarcasmic

    Yay!

    1. inconceivable.

      1. anybody want a peanut?

  2. Weston made a comment about the profanity but eventually apologized to the cops.

    So many do… so many do.

    1. He wisely decided he didn’t want to be tased, beaten, or killed on stage.

      1. looks like someone’s not ready to be a martyr to the cause.

        1. He may have just blown his one chance at being famous.

  3. At least the homeless guy was enjoying the routine up to that point.

    1. He was “allegedly” masturbating, innocent until proven guilty.

      1. he’s probably also allegedly homeless. and, maybe, allegedly a guy.

        1. It is amazing that the article just excepts that as truths though. What does it actually mean to be “homeless”? what does it actually mean to be a guy? these are the types of questions that I felt this article missed a golden opportunity to dive into.

          1. what does it actually mean to be a guy?

            Based on the latest Four One Uno, one need merely to declare yourself as such.

    2. I think that we need nothing less than a large federal program (maybe cabinet level even) to provide safe places for the homeless to masturbate. It isn’t fair that rich white guys get to yank it somewhere warm while they have to risk frostbite.

      Check your chicken chokin’ privilege!

      1. I thought that’s what public libraries were for.

    3. “Cops from the New York Police Department (NYPD) stormed in during stand-up comedian Adam Newman’s act to arrest a homeless man allegedly masturbating in the theater when the cops came upon him“.

  4. “I will shut you the fuck up.”

    *snaps glove*

  5. So in addition to “Because f*ck you, that’s why,” cops have added “Because shut the f*ck up, that’s why” to their explanatory repertoire. Yay progress.

  6. And I was particularly peeved when the cop said, “your right to free speech stops when I tell you to shut up.”

    Wait, that was when the cop arrested the protester in Oklahoma City:

    http://www.news9.com/story/265…..black-mass

    1. “I am the law!”

    2. I suppose the defendant may have made that part up, just as the cop may have made the accusation against the defendant up. But a cop capable of making such an arrest is capable of blurting out his true attitude, so it’s plausible.

  7. Where is Dunphy?

  8. Yawn. I’m sure the comedians at the theater all used worse language during their acts.

    Someone called the cops on the perv who couldn’t wait until he got home to do his dirty work. They didn’t just bust into the place on their own accord.

    Grow up and join the real world. You sound like a bunch of children on a playground with this non-stop moaning and groaning.

    1. He’s been waiting to get home for a long time.

      Also, fuck you.

    2. I’m sure the comedians at the theater all used worse language during their acts.

      Comedians aren’t paid by, or accountable to taxpayers. Comedians also don’t pretend to operate under a “New Professionalism”. If you don’t like what a comedian says, a comedian won’t use the threat of State violence to silence you.

      Grow up and join the real world. You sound like a bunch of children on a playground with this non-stop moaning and groaning.

      Look in the mirror, bitch boy.

      Also, fuck you.

    3. I don’t think that the profanity was the problem here. It was the cops’ “respect my authoritah” crap.

      1. Shhh! He’s got the straw man on the ropes!

    4. Grow up and join the real world. You sound like a bunch of children on a playground with this non-stop moaning and groaning.

      Tell me, what do you think would have happened if the comedian told the cops to shut the fuck up, besides you jumping on the thread to excuse whatever they did?

      1. Obviously he/she is new here.

  9. After they left, he noted that usually he’d go crazy on a heckler who told him to shut the fuck up but that it’s different with cops….

    It’s always good to confirm that a paid talker’s bravery directly corrolates to the probabilty of him taking an ass-kicking for what he says.

  10. If it weren’t for the fact that your average NYPD officer can’t hit the broad side of a barn from the inside, I’d say that I’m surprised that cop didn’t give him a 9mm “heckler’s veto.”

  11. I’m guessing Doug Stanhope would’ve had a more principled response to the cops.

    1. Fuck off, Lahey!

  12. Hey, if you’re interrupting an act to make an arrest for public masturbation, you should expect there to be some commentary.

    And you should be, what’s the term, grown-up enough to just let it wash over you while you do your job.

    If you’re such an overgrown child that you can’t keep you’re freakin’ mouth shut for 5 minutes during a comedy routine, well, I got nothin’ for you.

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