Crime

Solved: The Case of the Corpse's Missing Watch (A Cop Stole It)

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Watch
Minzoblate / Wikimedia Commons

Hey gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands. Authorities discovered the body of a man in Detroit a few months back. He was wearing a fancy German-made watch, according to The Detroit News. The watch was stashed away in an evidence locker; the case itself went cold after Sgt. Alex Vinson, lead investigator, failed to even determine the identity of the man. Then the watch went missing!

After the case was re-opened, police discovered that the watch had been stolen from the evidence locker and replaced with a cheaper replica.

That mystery, at least, has been solved:

This week, while Vinson was in Idaho for advanced police training, fellow homicide detectives decided to reopen the case.

The detectives wanted to take another look at the watch — but when they removed the victim's belongings from the property room, the watch wasn't the same one that was photographed at the start of the case. Instead, it was a cheaper model, [Police Chief James] Craig confirmed.

Craig added the FBI helped police recover the watch, which Vinson was wearing during the training session. Vinson returned to Michigan Wednesday, and was read his Miranda rights by Internal Affairs officers.

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  1. Jail? Bail? Oh. professional courtesy. Paid vacation.

  2. “Not on my watch,” said Chief Craig. Then he put on his sunglasses.

  3. What a nice, heartwarming story to end a dreary Monday.

  4. The really sad part is that it took the “detectives” a few months to think that maybe an expensive watch might have a serial number they could track to see who purchased it.

  5. How did the watch get itself out of the evidence locker? That’s an amazing watch.

  6. shoot a dog: no problem.

    Shoot a person: paid vacation.

    Steal a watch: Read him his rights!

    1. It’s hard to spin a story that the watch deserved to be stolen.

      1. It might have been stolen by someone else — someone who had not had advanced training and therefore could not defend himself against the inevitable watch thieves.

      2. Come on, man, did you see that watch? It was practically asking to be stolen. Besides, what’s the dead guy going to do with it? Huh?

    2. Exactly! WTH is going on?

    3. Ya, it’s like that other guy that got busted for creepin on the drivers license database.

      If all the puppy killers and baby burners were prosecuted, I’d be willin to overlook a little soft graft like this. Call it an extra perk for being the kings men.

  7. Who watches the watches?

    1. This guy. He’s the “watch commander”.

      Good thing is, now he gets to do some “time”.

      I guess he “knocked off” the evidence locker.

      He used his digit to replace the watch with an “analogue”.

      I wonder how the German watch denotes “nine” o’clock.

  8. This case has me all wound up. You can’t treat an expensive item like this as if it were a second hand timepiece.

    1. I’m really ticked off about this as well. The evidence locker should be guarded by a vigilant watch!

  9. Solved: The Case of the Corpse’s Missing Watch (A Cop Stole It)

    THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS!

  10. I was so sure it would turn out to be Bugs Meany.

  11. i assume it was a Lange?

    1. I’ve been wondering why the Germany thing was mentioned. Maybe it was a $20k A. Lange and they don’t want to advertise that so they just say a “German” watch. Or maybe it’s like a $300 gold quartz that says “Made in Germany” and, this being Detroit, they think that’s an expensive watch.

      1. Please. Nobody with the money goes to Detroit. Detroit is the place you leave when you get money.

  12. It will be interesting to see how this pans out. James Craig is, so far, not ‘business as usual’ for police in Detroit. I have my hopes up. But I could be disappointed. The fact that they talked about ‘reading him his rights’ is certainly a good sign…

  13. (A Cop Stole It)

    No worries, folks; nobody did anything useful like investigate the homicide that led to this situation. Rest assured, Detroit’s Finest will not do anything to put themselves in Harm’s Way(tm).

  14. At least the guy wasn’t shot by the cop before he stole the timepiece…call me an optomist.

  15. If you think that watch is nice, wait ’til the police execute a search warrant at Vinson’s home. Fairly certain that place will be packed with evidence-locker goodies.

  16. Maybe this watch stealing cop is a “good cop” if such can exist? Maybe he has been set up by the thin blue line guys that don’t like him. Just an idea.

  17. Pawnbroker: I’ll give you 50 bucks for it.

    Louis Winthorpe III: Fifty bucks? No, no, no. This is a Rouchefoucauld. The thinnest water-resistant watch in the world. Singularly unique, sculptured in design, hand-crafted in Switzerland, and water resistant to three atmospheres. This is *the* sports watch of the ’80s. Six thousand, nine hundred and fifty five dollars retail!

    Pawnbroker: You got a receipt?

    Louis Winthorpe III: Look, it tells time simultaneously in Monte Carlo, Beverly Hills, London, Paris, Rome, and Gstaad.

    Pawnbroker: In Philadelphia, it’s worth 50 bucks.

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