Police Abuse

To Avoid Cop Rape Just Don't Just Break Any Laws, Says Oklahoma Police Captain


by Phil's 1stPix/Flickr

In less than two months, three Oklahoma police officers have been arrested for allegedly sexually assaulting women while on duty. One of the officers, state trooper Eric Roberts, was accused of raping women he pulled over for traffic violations. In the wake of this, Tulsa news station KJRH interviewed Oklahoma Highway Patrol Captain George Brown about how women can ensure they won't meet a similar fate.  

His response?

First and foremost: Do your part, and do what it takes to obey the traffic laws and not get stopped.

See how simple it is folks?  Just don't give cops the opportunity to rape you! If you simply never come into contact with any cops, then they can't sexually assault (or beat, or kill) you, duh

Captain Brown told The Huffington Post that he didn't mean to imply that all Oklahoma state troopers are rapists waiting to strike and was merely offering general safety tips for women during traffic stops. Full interview here; KJRH distillation of it below. 

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  1. “She was doing 58 in a 55 – that’s just begging for it.”

    1. Driving with the top down?

    2. “69 in a 65”, I think you mean…

  2. Little do you know that those cop rapes were all just part of an official awareness program, kind of like Scared Straight.

      1. A rape joke? In this era of heightened sensitivity? You should be ashamed.

        1. I should be ashamed about a lot of things.

          1. Then again, shame is nothing to be proud of.

            1. But is pride something to be ashamed of?

  3. And the mask slips a little more

  4. something something short skirt.

    1. long jacket?

  5. Do your part, and do what it takes to obey the traffic laws and not get stopped.

    They all want cake.

    1. “Cake”

  6. It’s said that no matter how careful a driver you are, if an officer follows you around for long enough they’ll be able to find something to pull you over for.

    I enjoy the honesty from this guy at least.

    1. It’s said that no matter how careful a driver you are, if an officer follows you around for long enough they’ll be able to find something to pullrape you over for.

      1. Well, combined with that moronic police officer’s statement, yes. That was the point.

    2. True, and remember that any legislature’s job is to create more reasons why someone can be arrested, giving LEOs more reasons to stop someone. Failing to do so means the legislative body is lazy.

      1. We call these new laws “tools”.

        1. Rape tools?

    3. It’s said that no matter how careful a driver you are, if an officer follows you around for long enough they’ll be able to find something to pull you over for.

      A former cop told me exactly that.

      1. It was discussed here on reason a couple of years ago where a cop was giving a talk to journalists, and pulled out his Oxford Unabridged Dictionary of Traffic laws and placed it on the reinforced lectern before him.

        When asked how anyone could possibly know or follow all those traffic laws, his answer was simple: You can’t. Which was the entire point. If the cop follows you long enough, you WILL violate one of those laws and now he’s justified to pull you over.

        1. This applies not only to traffic laws.

          Every law made increases government power and takes some of your liberty.

          How big is the federal register now?

          1. Last time I looked it was about the size of four encyclopedia brittanica sets. Not including executive dept regs, relevant court cases, or FYTW.

    4. What do I do in ANY drive that can warrant pull over?

      Not do a complete stop at a stop sign.

      Turning right into a middle or far lane.

      Turn off my signal before I completely merge into a new lane.

      Drive at least 3 mph over the speed limit.

  7. How do we know those women were breaking any traffic laws?

    Do you think a cop who decides to rape is really going to limit his freak to people he sees breaking the law?

    My guess is that when one of these predators sees someone who looks like a nice juicy victim, he will just follow them till they are in a vulnerable stretch of road and put on his lights.

    Remember, many cops think that they are magical creatures who have the right to murder you without warning.. I doubt *rapist* cops have any more respect for their fellow men than non-rapist cops.

    1. Whoa, it’s only when you are doing your perfectly legal holding of a gun in your own home.

      1. … or a wallet, or a cell phone, or a chihuahua, or a baby, or nothing at all (furtive movement, baby!).

  8. Rolling the window down just a crack and not unlocking your doors is a good way to have a drug dog dispatched and signaled to indicate drugs. Good luck keeping your door locked then.

  9. She opened the door with her cleavage exposed. The cop’s dick was out and he had to fire to avoid the danger that was present.

    If you don’t want a dick inside you don’t open your door with your cleavage out.


    1. Smooches.

      It’s good to see him back. I had forgotten the rage he induces in me. Makes even Tulpa look warm and fuzzy.

    2. I’ve opened thousands of doors while in uniform, and no-one has opened the door with exposed cleavage.

      1. I saw it once at a whorehouse in Thailand.

      2. This says more about you than about the door-openers. Still, nothing that a few well-timed asteroids can’t fix.

        1. If someone opens their door, they have no one to blame but themselves when micro-meteorites shreds their clothes and expose their breasts.

          1. Such precision–only imperial sandcasters can be so precise.

  10. That’s actually great advice. Avoid all interaction with cops.

    1. Avoid all interaction with cops.

      So people should drive around cop roadblocks, genius?

      1. My Magic Eight Ball says “Try Again Later”

      2. I have three–no, five–words for you: How Not to be Seen.

        1. I’ve been caught in a couple roadblocks over the years set up cleverly around curves with no visibility and there is no getting around or not being seen and, accordingly, avoiding.

          1. Voice Over: In this film we hope to show how not to be seen. This is Mr. E.R. Bradshaw of Napier Court, Black Lion Road, London SE5. He cannot be seen. Now I am going to ask him to stand up. Mr. Bradshaw, will you stand up, please.

            (In the distance Mr. Bradshaw stands up. There is a loud gunshot as Mr. Bradshaw is shot in the stomach. He crumples to the ground.)

            Voice Over: This demonstrates the value of not being seen.

            1. And now: The Larch.

            2. the value of not being seen

              They figured it out 40 years ago and Americans are just now beginning to catch on.

          2. If you do come upon a road block or drunk driving trap and turn around and head back to avoid it, they’ll assume you’re guilty of something and chase you down — seen it happen.

    2. I already do. I treat them like any large predatory animal. Ideally, I don’t interact with them at all. If I absolutely must, I try not to trigger their fight or flight instincts and exit the situation as fast as possible.

      1. I treat them like any large predatory animal.

        Dear Brett:

        I am writing to inform you that you are today’s winner of the Internet. Please specify a color and the shipping address (no APO, FPO, or PO boxes, please).

      2. My number one rule with large predatory animals has always been that I don’t need to run faster than the critter, just faster than whoever is with me. Doesn’t work with cops/guns.

    3. Confuse ’em is the best method.

      Saw a friend of mine drive away after a lengthy interrogation, even though we were all high as kites. Of course this friend is always cool under fire – or maybe it was the drugs.

    4. The best you can hope for after an encounter with the police is a “tie”, it will usually cost you money and always will cost you time.

  11. If you’ve done nothing wrong you have no reason to fear being raped by a cop.

    But if you are caught jaywalking, well, what do you expect?

  12. Glue some googly-eyes on a dried stack of turds and you’ll end up with a Oklahoma Highway Patrol Captain George Brown.

    How these empty-skulled nitwitbags become cops in the first place is evidence that law enforcement is a vacuum of common sense and intelligence and as such attracts reprobates and the depraved.

  13. Is it time for a Lawbreaker Walk? MY BLOWING THROUGH A RED LIGHT IS NOT MY CONSENT.

    1. “Blowing” through a red light, Warty? Jesus – why don’t you just BEG to get raped.

      OH – YOU JUST DID.

      1. Warty has never been a victim.

        1. I’m guessing that the poor sap who had to review the red light camera footage of Warty v. Cops after the red light blowing incident was the victim

          1. Exactly – they think they’ve “caught” Warty, when, in reality, we know who’s caught whom….

            Pure. Evil. Genius.

  14. Had that officer been trained specifically not to commit rape? Huh?

    1. This and other questions like it are the questions that need to be asked!

      Clearly, the issue is not enough training money for cops. Fucking civilians – promoting rape by withholding needed training funds. Fucking POS’s deserve everything they get.


      1. They need the ticket revenue to pay for the “How not to rape people on the side of the road” class. Of clues if some women get raped in those traffic stops to raise money for the non rape fund, well something something omelettes.

    2. they simply pulled those women over, like any normal person does

      and no normal woman who isn’t begging to get raped drives with a vagina in a car.

      and all except a kneejerk bigot would recognize that as blatant common sense.

      1. Wanda Sykes clearly had the right idea. “Sorry Officer, I left my pussy at home.”

        “Uh, and my asshole. And my mouth. We’re communicating psychically.”

        OK, probably won’t work all that well.

    3. The coppers want to hit it before the prisoners do- because prison rape is funny to them.

      Breaking a minor traffic law is just a couple jots of the pen from being imprisoned after all that ‘resisting’ you will be doing.

    4. Why aren’t we teaching our cops not to rape?

  15. “Wow, that woman sure looks rape-able. Too bad she’s obeying traffic laws. Oh, well…”

    1. “If only she would swerve!”

    2. This seems very plausible.

    3. But then again… if said cop has his cunning and society-saving eye on some shapely ass all he has to do is give it a week before said shapely ass breaks a traffic law. Said shapely ass is human after all.

      1. If he is a rapist, why would her not breaking the law mean anything?

        1. He has to justify his favorite form of aggression on his favorite kind of law-breaker?

    4. “I think I smell Marijuana!”

  16. It would be tragic if Captain Jackass there fell into a wood chipper. Truly.

    1. That would ruin most wood chippers, brah. No wood chipper worth its salt should be ruined over a lousy cop. I think you’re better off with an industrial metal shredder which would do the job and glow happily after it blew its cop wad.

      1. I dunno, I’ve only ever worked with industrial wood chippers. And since those things would eat telephone poles, I suspect they’d do OK on a human sized mammal.

        But I’m OK with the metal shredder idea, too. By which I mean; Yes. That would also be very tragic.

        1. You meant Continental Biomass Industries, Inc. and I thought Troy-Bilt. My bad.

          I’ve just learned that there are gargantuan steel monsters that indeed eat power poles like Twizzlers.

          1. This would be more effective for groups in donut shops


    2. Pulled pork?

  17. Did any of the safety tips include: *shoot the rapist in the face*?

    1. Are you crazy! Then a cop might get shot!!!!!!

      The appropriate punishment of a cop-rapist is 3 month’s leave with pay. Anything more than that violates the Constitution’s prohibition against cruel and unusual punishment!

  18. So the police categorize people four ways now instead of three:


    citizens targets of opportunity
    citizens time to get your rape on


  19. Where is Dunphy to defend this?

    1. He’ll be along in 4 or 5 hours to make some irrelevant post so he can tell himself that no one could argue with his brilliancy.


      1. Or, as I mis-typed the other day,



  20. it is impossible to obey all traffic laws at all times.Besides,a cop can always say you weaved or were over the line,ect.The best solution is to only be stopped for dangerous driving or a accident.Curbing their power is the only solution.

    1. should have read the comments first

  21. He was in fear of not getting to nut. Looks like a good wad shoot. Justifiable rape.

  22. Cops, do you want to be avoid being shot?

    Don’t pull people over for things that shouldn’t be illegal.
    Don’t use an aggressive tone of voice or posture.
    Don’t try to search vehicles without a warrant.
    Don’t put your hand on your gun.

    Following these four simple tips will help reduce the risk of you being shot.

  23. COPS rapes are perpetrated on location with the men and women of law enforcement. All officers are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law packed with their fellow officers!!

  24. Thugs in Blue. A blow job in the back seat of the cruiser has long been the Highway Patrolman’ s favorite way of “collecting” ticket revenue. Do you remember the photo from 2 years ago of the Arizona State Trooper plunking a woman on the hood of his state patrol car? I do.

  25. Here we have two terrible ideas that might just be solutions for each other:

    Campus Rape, err, Affirmative Consent Apps and

    Rapey cops.

    Just tell the cop you never have sex until you have documented affirmative consent, and whip out your, umm, phone. Give him a choice between going on the record as having sexy-time on worky-time, and see what he does.

    Also, the Campus Rape app is a guaranteed boner-killer.

    Everybody wins!

  26. should have read the comments first

    Come on, show a little backbone, wouldja?

  27. Now that I know what steps my daughter needs to take to avoid being raped by cops, maybe Reason can run an article about the steps she can take to avoid being raped by immigrants.

    1. (1) Buy a handgun.

      (2) Practice with the handgun.

      (3) Keep the handgun, err, handy.

      (4) Use the handgun as circumstances indicate.

      Anything else we can help you with, “Taco” (if that’s your real name)?

      1. Yeah my daughter isn’t old enough to handle a handgun. What’s your next snarky suggestion?

        1. Have your daughter become an underage sex slave to one of the heros in blue. Many immigrants, especially the Muslim terrorists, don’t like pork so they tend to stay away from cops and lowering the odds of being raped (by an immigrant). And the ones that are indifferent will find difficulty unlocking the gimp cage where she would be imprisoned, thus saving her from (immigrant) rape.

  28. You know it’s funny, my increasingly civil libertarian girlfriend has gone, in one year, from “Cops are great, there are only a few bad apples” to an almost anarchic “All police forces must be disarmed, reduced to tiny armed reaction forces and glorified meter maids, all victimless crime laws repealed.”
    Just from a steady diet of these stories. Yum yum.

  29. I read the headline and I thought, “That has to be click-bait. It can’t possibly be as bad as it sounds!” But, no, the headline isn’t even exaggerating. Good lord.

    1. I would give the chief a tepid defense in that when you watch the video, he does say some surprising (but in the end, unhelpful) things about how you can interact with the cops. No, you DON’T have to roll your window down, you can slide your license and registration through your cracked window. A cop will RARELY ask you to come back to the cruiser unless a more serious infraction is in play.

      However, while interesting, it doesn’t help in reality.

      If a cop has designs on raping you, those things could actually hinder you, not help you.

      Officer: Ma’am, I’d like you to come back to the cruiser for a moment.

      Woman: No can do.

      What on earth does anyone think will happen next?

      1. What on earth does anyone think will happen next?

        She will resist arrest, of course. And we all know where that leads…

  30. They weren’t raping them, they were just performing a Terry Stop, and the male penis is the logical appendage to use to inspect the female vagina for weapons and contraband. You lunatics all have it in for the police!

  31. At least this control junkie got fired and is facing prosecution:

  32. Just so I’m clear on this, if someone says that unfettered unencumbered immigration is a bad idea because immigrants have been known to establish a rape culture and held their white victims in sexual slavery for decades, that person is a raaaaaaaycist and is guilty of generalizing from few specific incidents. On the other hand, if someone says that giving increased powers or armament to police is a bad idea because a few police raped a few women, that person is NOT guilty of generalizing from specific incidents.

    Am I properly stating the libertarian position here?

  33. My buddy’s mother makes $83 /hour on the computer . She has been fired from work for 7 months but last month her income was $16557 just working on the computer for a few hours.
    you can check here ———- http://www.jobsfish.com

  34. This article is flat out regurgitation of Huffpo, and is flat out false:
    Full interview: http://bit.ly/10jCZg4

    fact check:

  35. I feel so ashamed to live in such a backwards a** state.

  36. This article is such an embarrassing example of the Internet lynch mobs. The police captain said nothing about rape. There’s no indication he was even interviewed about the rape. And at no point does he ever deliver the line about following the law in the first place. The news anchor attributes it to him. Pathetic. How does Elizabeth Nolan Brown even have a job as a reporter?

  37. Makes total sense…in fact, its also how I keep from getting shot.

  38. He should have added don’t call 911, since that’s what happened in some of these cases.

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