Food Trucks

"We Serve Bacon in Our Restaurants for One Reason: We Are a Christian Nation. Not a Jewish or Islamic One. QED."

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Thus proclaimeth Bryan Fischer, whose Twitter bio reads "Director of Issue Analysis, American Family Association [AFA]; Host of Focal Point radio program on AFR Talk network; Tweets are my own."

The AFA bills itself "as one of the largest and most effective pro-family organizations in the country with hundreds of thousands of supporters." It was started in 1977 by Donald Wildmon as the National Federation for Decency. Wildmon, now retired, and the AFA are probably best known for culture war battles involving Andres "Piss Christ" Serrano and Robert Mapplethorpe, but also memorably accused Mighty Mouse of snorting cocaine in the form of flower petals back in 1988.

For the record, I eat bacon because I like the way it tastes. Sure, like everyone else who was raised Christian, at first I ate it just as a screw-you to the other Abrahamic religions. But nowadays, that's less important to me…

Hat tip: Yair Rosenburg (follow him on Twitter).

Bonus question: Do you think statements such Bryan Fischer's are one of the reasons why 77 percent of Americans agree that religion is losing influence on American life? And in asking this, I mean no disrespect to believers (an overwhelming majority of Americans still affiliate with organized religion, particularly some sect of Christianity). yet this sort of truly inane and a propos of nothing statement is rightly off-putting to all but (possibly) Oscar Meyer shareholders. Nobody is asking that faith be hidden under a bushel basket, but who really wants to be associated with statements such as Fischer's QED regarding pork products?

Back in 2008, when Reason TV reported on the Battle of the Bacon Dogs in Los Angeles, we didn't appreciate the theological dimensions of the struggle. Instead, we chronicled the struggle of Elizabeth Palacios, a vendor who ended up spending 45 days in jail (!) for daring to sell tasty treats without all the proper licensing. Check out Drew Carey on the beat and meet one of the greatest villains in all of Reason TV's history: an Los Angeles County Health Department official who is the Blofeld of bummerdom:

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  1. Bo bait

    1. and John bait

        1. If you are what you eat then I need to go check the mirror for bacon lines.

          1. That vertical line in the middle of your chest?

            More so than any award on earth; earned never given.

  2. pro-family organizations

    As opposed to all those anti-family ones. Why don’t they just say what their real agenda is for crisakes.

    1. If you expect self-conferred political terms to convey meaning and not just bring about the desired emotional reaction, then that ship sailed a while ago.

    2. As opposed to all those anti-family ones.

      All those state CPS bureaucracies?

  3. Mark your calendars folks, it’ll be long time before another article is tagged under ‘Food Trucks’ AND ‘Religion’

  4. Why doesn’t Reason just have a rolling sidebar of stupid tweets? It’s a neverending source of material.

    1. You can do that yourself. just look up love Obama.

  5. File this under “idiot says idiot things to get other idiots to react”. Then he called up his buddies at Westboro Baptist Church and had furious phonesex.

    1. And the thing is, most Jews don’t give a shit what’s served in restaurants. Those who do, eat at kosher delis.

      Still, I look over across the pond and see the many, many attempts by Muslims to use pressure upon the harried governments of Europe to ban things innocuous as piggy banks, and I wonder if a little turnabout isn’t fair play.

  6. Please proof read at your headlines at the very least.

    1. Nick probably got toasted this weekend and was about to miss his deadline.

      1. Nick’s not here, man.

  7. “Sure, like everyone else who was raised Christian, at first I ate it just as a screw-you to the other Abrahamic religions.”

    Is my sarcasm detector off? Because I’m thinking he’s serious.

    1. My first priest would put bacon bits onto the Communion wafers. Admittedly, I don’t know how that affected the transubstantiation of a Jew’s body…

      1. Which denomination?

        1. Eporkscopalian

              1. Gammon Catholic

            1. I’m not a canonist, but I’ll go out on a limb and guess that this was not permitted.

              1. “What a devout congregation you have, Reverend! I am seeing people in line for Communion, 2, 3 or more times in a row!”

              2. How is the body of Christ not long pig?

              3. “It is a grave abuse to introduce other substances, such as fruit or sugar or honey, into the bread for confecting the Eucharist.”

                http://www.vatican.va/roman_cu…..um_en.html

                1. How is the body of Christ not long pig?

                  I saw that. Right there.

      2. I’d think if he was a Catholic priest, he was putting the bacon someplace else.

        1. That’s the sausage.

    2. It looks very much like sarcasm to me. I’m astonished anyone would think it wasn’t.

  8. I think the one thing we can all agree on is that anyone who spells it with a Y is going to hell anyway.

    1. I think the one thing we can agree on is that all of the “family” fundies would vote for Rand Paul…eh?

      1. Turd.Burglar.

  9. Bryan Fischer is the person who claimed scientists are unable to figure out what keeps electrons and protons from flying apart and destroying all matter.

    But he figured it out. It’s Jesus!

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendly…..her-jesus/

    1. I’m picturing a guy in sandals and a robe furiously grabbing at quarks to bring them in line.

      1. He is omnipresent. Heh.

    2. Bryan Fischer is the person who claimed scientists are unable to figure out what keeps electrons [- charged particles] and protons [+ charged particles] from flying apart and destroying all matter.

      Uhm, I think you mean protons from flying apart from each other in the nuclei of atoms. Physics FAIL.

      1. Ah, so he’s from the “God is science bond-o”. Have a dent or crack in your theory? Slather some God on there.

  10. Freedom Bacon!

    Of course, this being the 21st century, they are making a beef bacon for pork deprived: Schmacon.
    http://www.schmacon.com/
    God fucking bless America!

    1. God Bless the free market! Bringing bacon to the kosher and halal masses!

      *wipes tear of joy*

    2. I remember seeing fake bacon in Jewish friends’ houses back in the se– uh, I mean a little while ago.

      1. Beef seems like it would be less fake – did you see turkey bacon, way back, er…recently?

        1. Here in NYC, many of the bodegas serve turkey or beef bacon exclusively on their sandwiches. It is so common that we ask before ordering at places we are not familiar with.

          Slightly OT, my sister-in-law and her family are Chabad Lubavitch. We took a giant family cruise (21 people, oy vey) last month and many of us were surprised and delighted that her oldest son (16yo) is questioning the faith. He is calling himself ‘Joey’ rather than ‘Yossel’ and at my behest, he ate bacon for the very first time. He loved it.

          1. “Here in NYC, many of the bodegas serve turkey or beef bacon exclusively on their sandwiches. It is so common that we ask before ordering at places we are not familiar with.”

            Someone needs to tell this to Baylen Linnekin and the BaconDog Sellers of LA …

        2. Turkey ham is great. Almost no fat.

          1. Turkey “ham” is not ham.

            No salty tears for YOU!

  11. So Fischer is saying that America is an oppressive theocracy that imposes religious laws on all its subjects, and the only reason bacon is legal is that it doesn’t violate the religious laws of the ruling theocrats?

    1. I don’t think Fischer even knows what he’s saying. He just knows his audience will eat it up.

  12. The guy in this article is pretty clearly doing a tongue in cheek response to this incident

    http://www.nydailynews.com/new…..-1.1915158

    Where a diner removed a sign advertising bacon after a complaint by one muslim person calling the sign religiously offensive.

    1. Eagle-eyed college students quickly noticed that the bespectacled educator seductively posing with a folder is, in fact, Japanese XXX-rated actress Mana Aoki.

      So many questions. Basic math – college students? If they obviously recognize her, why so they feel the need to recall the books?

    2. Actually, I think this would be a creative strategy.

      1. Making math interactive and fun!

        [insert joke about Asian math skills]

        1. “[insert joke about Asian math skills]”

          … and girth/length or lack thereof

    3. It’s not clear, however, how many of the flawed originals will actually be returned.

      The real question is how many will be returned without their pages stuck together?

  13. I wonder if this guy uses a different version of the Bible in which the Hebrews wandered the food desert for 40 years.

    1. That particular food desert was the statist ideal, what with the people’s utter dependency and manna falling from heaven and all.

      We need a radical libertarian commentary on the Bible. Anyone have a spare weekend to hammer this thing out with me?

      1. It has already been written? I suggest (highly recommend) you try Peter McWilliam’s “Ain’t Nobody’s Business If You Do; The Absurdity of Consensual Crimes in a Free Society”. A LOT of that book addressed how some folks (conservatives especially, in the USA at least) claim that the Bible belongs to THEM. Jesus wanted a family-friendly tax code, and wanted us to bomb the infidels to smithereens, and so on. He (Peter) wrote MANY chapters to show just how WRONG all of that is? Jesus spent a butt-load of time condemning self-righteousness, for example, and never ONCE said anything bad about being gay. ? I was brought up Bible-banger, and have learned better. For a few decades (yes, I am a geezer), I concluded the Bible was basically a collection of worthless myths and fables. Peter McWilliams rescued the value of the Bible for me (saved it for me in my eyes; there’s good shit in there after all). Sad to say, Government Almighty killed Peter McWilliams by taking away his life-saving medicine (THC). See http://www.cannabisculture.com/articles/1660.html ?

        1. ^^^ THIS has answered a lot of questions …

        2. If you don’t think the Bible is full of myths and fables you may have been conditioned into becoming mentally retarded. Setting aside any philosophical questions regarding deities, if you think that 2 of every animal were crammed into a giant boat by an ancient Jew…. you may need to reexamine what qualifies as evidence or even reason.

          1. Well yes, actually I agree with you. It is full of myths and fables. There is value in some of such things though if you take them the right way (usually non-literally, allegorically). Evolution explains how my guts and neurons got to be deployed the way they are, the Bible does not. Science cannot, however, explain why or how I should treat others the way I want to be treated. Religions often manage to collect cultural attributes of value, through cultural evolution. A religion that teaches mass suicide (Jimmy-Jones-types, ya listenin’?) do not survive and reproduce. Ditto religions that teach total sexual abstinence (Shakers). Even religions that teach total intolerance of all others, and not going to last long? They piss too many other people off, then THEY get offed! I just hope that we and they can find at least just enough mutual tolerance that we do not ALL collectively off ourselves!

  14. Now I know what inspired that episode where Kenny got high from snorting flowers!
    It was that degenerate Mighty Mouse!

  15. That sounds liek a plan to me dude. Wow.

    http://www.Crypt-Tools.tk

  16. Do you think statements such Bryan Fischer’s are one of the reasons why 77 percent of Americans agree that religion is losing influence on American life?

    Perhaps for some. Though Fischer strikes me as likely too far into the zone of orthodox neocon bizarro to create a discernible change in thinkers who are probably more concerned about how religious activities impact actual issues.

  17. Surrender my mainstream libertarian credentials: bacon is gross, and it makes me sick in any context other than atop a burger.

    Hot bacon grease, on the other hand, is a magnificent addition to any salad.

  18. Fischer recently penned this beauty were he asserts that atheists should be denied from joining the country’s armed forces.

    http://www.onenewsnow.com/pers…..s-military

    Bonus question: Do you think statements such Bryan Fischer’s are one of the reasons why 77 percent of Americans agree that religion is losing influence on American life?

    Is this a trick question? Surely you don’t think idiotic statements made Fischer and his ilk further the cause of secularism, do you?/s off

    Christians like Fischer and his ilk have performed the nation a tremendous service by providing us with countless examples that clearly demonstrate that religious zealotry makes one stupid.

    1. religious zealotry makes one stupid.

      Is it the religious zealotry that makes them stupid, or are stupid people more likely to be drawn toward religious zealotry?

    2. Not only ‘denied from joining’ but atheists aren’t even genuine Americans…

      Military service should be reserved for genuine Americans – and genuine Americans, like the Founders, believe in God.

      So intolerant in scope it’s literally laughable.

    3. “clearly demonstrate that religious zealotry makes one stupid.”

      Is this why the majority of Americans believe in heaven and hell?

      Or, is that not zealotry? I have to keep up with the new normal embellished by our Christian majority…

      1. Is this why the majority of Americans believe in heaven and hell?

        Or, is that not zealotry?

        That depends. Are you asking because you literally don’t know what a zealot is or because you are One man! Alone! Betrayed by the country he loves.

  19. Why are Christians allowed not ..to say inane things without the woodshed threat by secularist?
    Free speech is an equal opportunity basher so why not try teeing up say the hindus or budhist for a change?

  20. Why are Christians allowed not ..to say inane things without the woodshed threat by secularist?
    Free speech is an equal opportunity basher so why not try teeing up say the hindus or budhist for a change?

  21. Do you think statements such Bryan Fischer’s are one of the reasons why 77 percent of Americans agree that religion is losing influence on American life?

    By that logic, Amanda Marcotte must be held responsible for at least 3 Great Awakening-style religious revivals.

  22. “Sure, like everyone else who was raised Christian, at first I ate it just as a screw-you to the other Abrahamic religions. ”

    Hmm. Isn’t it amazing how a person thinks their own shortcomings are like “everybody else”.

    Personally, I would doubt if 10% of Christians ever ate bacon to piss off another religion!

    Oh, and my family was Jewish (1/2 at least!) and pork, bacon and spare ribs were some of the favs. I’d say only a very small percentage of jewish folks don’t eat pig.

    1. That sound you here is the sarcasm whooshing over your head. Put down your big business charts and concentrate.

    2. That sound you here is the sarcasm whooshing over your head. Put down your big business charts and concentrate.

      1. *hear*

        damnit

  23. Reminds me of a line from Mozart Was A Red: “All this time I thought people smoked because they enjoyed it.”

  24. From: http://theweek.com/article/ind…..or-muslims “The ubiquitous Serrano ham legs hanging in restaurants and homes across the country are the legacy of public displays of pork-eating ? prohibited by Judaism and Islam ? by new or pretending Christians hundreds of years ago.

    “Those never seen eating pork became suspects of the Inquisition,” says historian Sebastian de la Obra, director of Casa Sefarad, a museum of Sephardic culture and tradition in the Andalusian city of Cordoba.

    The Spanish expression “hacer sabado,” or “Saturdaying,” refers to housecleaning and washing by converted Jews, who left windows and doors open to prove they weren’t observing the Sabbath, the Jewish holy day of rest.” So Bryan Fischer is only 522 years out of date.

  25. yet this sort of truly inane and a propos of nothing statement

    I call people and their statements insane all the time….mostly it is hyperbole.

    Anyway to say that restaurants in the US sell bacon because the prominent religion which has deep roots in our laws, culture, and morality does not prohibit its sale does not seem insane to me at all.

  26. Christianity is a Jewish sect. Jesus, if he existed, was Jewish, not Christian.

    1. ^ this.

      Also, Jesus being married, far from being the scandal popularly depicted, would have been normal and expected for a 1st century rabbi. An unmarried 30-year-old preaching would have been responded to with “go away kid, you bother me”.

      1. And also, as a Torah keeping Jew, Jesus would likely have been thoroughly perplexed by these New Testaments.

        We could conceivably call the New Testament, the gospels of Paul,influenced by Greco-Roman mythology directed at his Greco-Roman audience.

        We might then be much more acurate in renaming Christianity to Paulianity.

  27. Um, no, restaurants serve bacon because it’s popular and people buy it. If it wasn’t, they wouldn’t.

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