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Civil Liberties

"We Serve Bacon in Our Restaurants for One Reason: We Are a Christian Nation. Not a Jewish or Islamic One. QED."

Nick Gillespie | 9.15.2014 7:58 AM

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Thus proclaimeth Bryan Fischer, whose Twitter bio reads "Director of Issue Analysis, American Family Association [AFA]; Host of Focal Point radio program on AFR Talk network; Tweets are my own."

The AFA bills itself "as one of the largest and most effective pro-family organizations in the country with hundreds of thousands of supporters." It was started in 1977 by Donald Wildmon as the National Federation for Decency. Wildmon, now retired, and the AFA are probably best known for culture war battles involving Andres "Piss Christ" Serrano and Robert Mapplethorpe, but also memorably accused Mighty Mouse of snorting cocaine in the form of flower petals back in 1988.

For the record, I eat bacon because I like the way it tastes. Sure, like everyone else who was raised Christian, at first I ate it just as a screw-you to the other Abrahamic religions. But nowadays, that's less important to me…

Hat tip: Yair Rosenburg (follow him on Twitter).

Bonus question: Do you think statements such Bryan Fischer's are one of the reasons why 77 percent of Americans agree that religion is losing influence on American life? And in asking this, I mean no disrespect to believers (an overwhelming majority of Americans still affiliate with organized religion, particularly some sect of Christianity). yet this sort of truly inane and a propos of nothing statement is rightly off-putting to all but (possibly) Oscar Meyer shareholders. Nobody is asking that faith be hidden under a bushel basket, but who really wants to be associated with statements such as Fischer's QED regarding pork products?

Back in 2008, when Reason TV reported on the Battle of the Bacon Dogs in Los Angeles, we didn't appreciate the theological dimensions of the struggle. Instead, we chronicled the struggle of Elizabeth Palacios, a vendor who ended up spending 45 days in jail (!) for daring to sell tasty treats without all the proper licensing. Check out Drew Carey on the beat and meet one of the greatest villains in all of Reason TV's history: an Los Angeles County Health Department official who is the Blofeld of bummerdom:

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NEXT: Steve Chapman: Obama's Unnecessary, Unpromising War

Nick Gillespie is an editor at large at Reason and host of The Reason Interview With Nick Gillespie.

Civil LibertiesCultureWorldFood TrucksReligion
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  1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

    Bo bait

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      and John bait

      1. Swiss Servator, Go Genf!   11 years ago

        Bacon = me bait.

        1. Live Free Or Diet   11 years ago

          If you are what you eat then I need to go check the mirror for bacon lines.

          1. mad.casual   11 years ago

            That vertical line in the middle of your chest?

            More so than any award on earth; earned never given.

  2. Steve G   11 years ago

    pro-family organizations

    As opposed to all those anti-family ones. Why don't they just say what their real agenda is for crisakes.

    1. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

      If you expect self-conferred political terms to convey meaning and not just bring about the desired emotional reaction, then that ship sailed a while ago.

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      As opposed to all those anti-family ones.

      All those state CPS bureaucracies?

  3. Steve G   11 years ago

    Mark your calendars folks, it'll be long time before another article is tagged under 'Food Trucks' AND 'Religion'

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      https://twitter.com/FoodTruckJesus

    2. Swiss Servator, Go Genf!   11 years ago

      "Mobile Matzo"?

  4. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

    Why doesn't Reason just have a rolling sidebar of stupid tweets? It's a neverending source of material.

    1. Otisjay   11 years ago

      You can do that yourself. just look up love Obama.

  5. Atanarjuat   11 years ago

    File this under "idiot says idiot things to get other idiots to react". Then he called up his buddies at Westboro Baptist Church and had furious phonesex.

    1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

      And the thing is, most Jews don't give a shit what's served in restaurants. Those who do, eat at kosher delis.

      Still, I look over across the pond and see the many, many attempts by Muslims to use pressure upon the harried governments of Europe to ban things innocuous as piggy banks, and I wonder if a little turnabout isn't fair play.

  6. AreYouReasonable   11 years ago

    Please proof read at your headlines at the very least.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      Nick probably got toasted this weekend and was about to miss his deadline.

      1. Raven Nation   11 years ago

        Nick's not here, man.

        1. Otisjay   11 years ago

          Wuuut?

  7. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    "Sure, like everyone else who was raised Christian, at first I ate it just as a screw-you to the other Abrahamic religions."

    Is my sarcasm detector off? Because I'm thinking he's serious.

    1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      My first priest would put bacon bits onto the Communion wafers. Admittedly, I don't know how that affected the transubstantiation of a Jew's body...

      1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

        Which denomination?

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

          Eporkscopalian

          1. Swiss Servator, Go Genf!   11 years ago

            *narrows gaze*

          2. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

            NO. Roman Catholic.

            1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

              (Catholicious?)

              1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

                Gammon Catholic

            2. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

              I'm not a canonist, but I'll go out on a limb and guess that this was not permitted.

              1. Swiss Servator, Lucerneriffic   11 years ago

                "What a devout congregation you have, Reverend! I am seeing people in line for Communion, 2, 3 or more times in a row!"

              2. Cdr Lytton   11 years ago

                How is the body of Christ not long pig?

              3. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

                "It is a grave abuse to introduce other substances, such as fruit or sugar or honey, into the bread for confecting the Eucharist."

                http://www.vatican.va/roman_cu.....um_en.html

                1. Aloysious   11 years ago

                  How is the body of Christ not long pig?

                  I saw that. Right there.

                2. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

                  What's wrong with you?

      2. Ted S.   11 years ago

        I'd think if he was a Catholic priest, he was putting the bacon someplace else.

        1. Harvey_birdman   11 years ago

          That's the sausage.

    2. DarrenM   11 years ago

      It looks very much like sarcasm to me. I'm astonished anyone would think it wasn't.

  8. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    I think the one thing we can all agree on is that anyone who spells it with a Y is going to hell anyway.

    1. Rhywun   11 years ago

      Bacyn?

    2. craiginmass   11 years ago

      I think the one thing we can agree on is that all of the "family" fundies would vote for Rand Paul...eh?

      1. JPyrate   11 years ago

        Turd.Burglar.

  9. Svenster   11 years ago

    Bryan Fischer is the person who claimed scientists are unable to figure out what keeps electrons and protons from flying apart and destroying all matter.

    But he figured it out. It's Jesus!

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendly.....her-jesus/

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      I'm picturing a guy in sandals and a robe furiously grabbing at quarks to bring them in line.

      1. Christophe   11 years ago

        He is omnipresent. Heh.

    2. Loki   11 years ago

      Bryan Fischer is the person who claimed scientists are unable to figure out what keeps electrons [- charged particles] and protons [+ charged particles] from flying apart and destroying all matter.

      Uhm, I think you mean protons from flying apart from each other in the nuclei of atoms. Physics FAIL.

      1. seguin   11 years ago

        Ah, so he's from the "God is science bond-o". Have a dent or crack in your theory? Slather some God on there.

  10. Bardas Phocas   11 years ago

    Freedom Bacon!

    Of course, this being the 21st century, they are making a beef bacon for pork deprived: Schmacon.
    http://www.schmacon.com/
    God fucking bless America!

    1. Swiss Servator, Go Genf!   11 years ago

      God Bless the free market! Bringing bacon to the kosher and halal masses!

      *wipes tear of joy*

    2. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

      I remember seeing fake bacon in Jewish friends' houses back in the se-- uh, I mean a little while ago.

      1. Swiss Servator, Lucerneriffic   11 years ago

        Beef seems like it would be less fake - did you see turkey bacon, way back, er...recently?

        1. l0b0t   11 years ago

          Here in NYC, many of the bodegas serve turkey or beef bacon exclusively on their sandwiches. It is so common that we ask before ordering at places we are not familiar with.

          Slightly OT, my sister-in-law and her family are Chabad Lubavitch. We took a giant family cruise (21 people, oy vey) last month and many of us were surprised and delighted that her oldest son (16yo) is questioning the faith. He is calling himself 'Joey' rather than 'Yossel' and at my behest, he ate bacon for the very first time. He loved it.

          1. Entropy Void   11 years ago

            "Here in NYC, many of the bodegas serve turkey or beef bacon exclusively on their sandwiches. It is so common that we ask before ordering at places we are not familiar with."

            Someone needs to tell this to Baylen Linnekin and the BaconDog Sellers of LA ...

        2. gaoxiaen   11 years ago

          Turkey ham is great. Almost no fat.

          1. Entropy Void   11 years ago

            Turkey "ham" is not ham.

            No salty tears for YOU!

  11. Ken Hagler   11 years ago

    So Fischer is saying that America is an oppressive theocracy that imposes religious laws on all its subjects, and the only reason bacon is legal is that it doesn't violate the religious laws of the ruling theocrats?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      I don't think Fischer even knows what he's saying. He just knows his audience will eat it up.

      1. Swiss Servator, Lucerneriffic   11 years ago

        Along with the tasty bacon!

  12. VG Zaytsev   11 years ago

    The guy in this article is pretty clearly doing a tongue in cheek response to this incident

    http://www.nydailynews.com/new.....-1.1915158

    Where a diner removed a sign advertising bacon after a complaint by one muslim person calling the sign religiously offensive.

  13. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

    OT: HA HA HA!

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      Eagle-eyed college students quickly noticed that the bespectacled educator seductively posing with a folder is, in fact, Japanese XXX-rated actress Mana Aoki.

      So many questions. Basic math - college students? If they obviously recognize her, why so they feel the need to recall the books?

    2. Vulgar Madman   11 years ago

      Actually, I think this would be a creative strategy.

      1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

        Making math interactive and fun!

        [insert joke about Asian math skills]

        1. Entropy Void   11 years ago

          "[insert joke about Asian math skills]"

          ... and girth/length or lack thereof

    3. Loki   11 years ago

      It's not clear, however, how many of the flawed originals will actually be returned.

      The real question is how many will be returned without their pages stuck together?

  14. lap83   11 years ago

    I wonder if this guy uses a different version of the Bible in which the Hebrews wandered the food desert for 40 years.

    1. Knarf Yenrab!   11 years ago

      That particular food desert was the statist ideal, what with the people's utter dependency and manna falling from heaven and all.

      We need a radical libertarian commentary on the Bible. Anyone have a spare weekend to hammer this thing out with me?

      1. SQRLSY One   11 years ago

        It has already been written? I suggest (highly recommend) you try Peter McWilliam's "Ain't Nobody's Business If You Do; The Absurdity of Consensual Crimes in a Free Society". A LOT of that book addressed how some folks (conservatives especially, in the USA at least) claim that the Bible belongs to THEM. Jesus wanted a family-friendly tax code, and wanted us to bomb the infidels to smithereens, and so on. He (Peter) wrote MANY chapters to show just how WRONG all of that is? Jesus spent a butt-load of time condemning self-righteousness, for example, and never ONCE said anything bad about being gay. ? I was brought up Bible-banger, and have learned better. For a few decades (yes, I am a geezer), I concluded the Bible was basically a collection of worthless myths and fables. Peter McWilliams rescued the value of the Bible for me (saved it for me in my eyes; there's good shit in there after all). Sad to say, Government Almighty killed Peter McWilliams by taking away his life-saving medicine (THC). See http://www.cannabisculture.com/articles/1660.html ?

        1. Entropy Void   11 years ago

          ^^^ THIS has answered a lot of questions ...

        2. Free Society   11 years ago

          If you don't think the Bible is full of myths and fables you may have been conditioned into becoming mentally retarded. Setting aside any philosophical questions regarding deities, if you think that 2 of every animal were crammed into a giant boat by an ancient Jew.... you may need to reexamine what qualifies as evidence or even reason.

          1. SQRLSY One   11 years ago

            Well yes, actually I agree with you. It is full of myths and fables. There is value in some of such things though if you take them the right way (usually non-literally, allegorically). Evolution explains how my guts and neurons got to be deployed the way they are, the Bible does not. Science cannot, however, explain why or how I should treat others the way I want to be treated. Religions often manage to collect cultural attributes of value, through cultural evolution. A religion that teaches mass suicide (Jimmy-Jones-types, ya listenin'?) do not survive and reproduce. Ditto religions that teach total sexual abstinence (Shakers). Even religions that teach total intolerance of all others, and not going to last long? They piss too many other people off, then THEY get offed! I just hope that we and they can find at least just enough mutual tolerance that we do not ALL collectively off ourselves!

  15. Vulgar Madman   11 years ago

    Now I know what inspired that episode where Kenny got high from snorting flowers!
    It was that degenerate Mighty Mouse!

  16. userve32   11 years ago

    That sounds liek a plan to me dude. Wow.

    http://www.Crypt-Tools.tk

  17. Agile Cyborg   11 years ago

    Do you think statements such Bryan Fischer's are one of the reasons why 77 percent of Americans agree that religion is losing influence on American life?

    Perhaps for some. Though Fischer strikes me as likely too far into the zone of orthodox neocon bizarro to create a discernible change in thinkers who are probably more concerned about how religious activities impact actual issues.

  18. Knarf Yenrab!   11 years ago

    Surrender my mainstream libertarian credentials: bacon is gross, and it makes me sick in any context other than atop a burger.

    Hot bacon grease, on the other hand, is a magnificent addition to any salad.

  19. The Unknown Pundit   11 years ago

    Fischer recently penned this beauty were he asserts that atheists should be denied from joining the country's armed forces.

    http://www.onenewsnow.com/pers.....s-military

    Bonus question: Do you think statements such Bryan Fischer's are one of the reasons why 77 percent of Americans agree that religion is losing influence on American life?

    Is this a trick question? Surely you don't think idiotic statements made Fischer and his ilk further the cause of secularism, do you?/s off

    Christians like Fischer and his ilk have performed the nation a tremendous service by providing us with countless examples that clearly demonstrate that religious zealotry makes one stupid.

    1. Loki   11 years ago

      religious zealotry makes one stupid.

      Is it the religious zealotry that makes them stupid, or are stupid people more likely to be drawn toward religious zealotry?

      1. Entropy Void   11 years ago

        Yes.

    2. Agile Cyborg   11 years ago

      Not only 'denied from joining' but atheists aren't even genuine Americans...

      Military service should be reserved for genuine Americans - and genuine Americans, like the Founders, believe in God.

      So intolerant in scope it's literally laughable.

    3. craiginmass   11 years ago

      "clearly demonstrate that religious zealotry makes one stupid."

      Is this why the majority of Americans believe in heaven and hell?

      Or, is that not zealotry? I have to keep up with the new normal embellished by our Christian majority...

      1. mad.casual   11 years ago

        Is this why the majority of Americans believe in heaven and hell?

        Or, is that not zealotry?

        That depends. Are you asking because you literally don't know what a zealot is or because you are One man! Alone! Betrayed by the country he loves.

  20. Fajitagringo   11 years ago

    Why are Christians allowed not ..to say inane things without the woodshed threat by secularist?
    Free speech is an equal opportunity basher so why not try teeing up say the hindus or budhist for a change?

  21. Fajitagringo   11 years ago

    Why are Christians allowed not ..to say inane things without the woodshed threat by secularist?
    Free speech is an equal opportunity basher so why not try teeing up say the hindus or budhist for a change?

  22. The Immaculate Trouser   11 years ago

    Do you think statements such Bryan Fischer's are one of the reasons why 77 percent of Americans agree that religion is losing influence on American life?

    By that logic, Amanda Marcotte must be held responsible for at least 3 Great Awakening-style religious revivals.

  23. craiginmass   11 years ago

    "Sure, like everyone else who was raised Christian, at first I ate it just as a screw-you to the other Abrahamic religions. "

    Hmm. Isn't it amazing how a person thinks their own shortcomings are like "everybody else".

    Personally, I would doubt if 10% of Christians ever ate bacon to piss off another religion!

    Oh, and my family was Jewish (1/2 at least!) and pork, bacon and spare ribs were some of the favs. I'd say only a very small percentage of jewish folks don't eat pig.

    1. Mock-star   11 years ago

      That sound you here is the sarcasm whooshing over your head. Put down your big business charts and concentrate.

    2. Mock-star   11 years ago

      That sound you here is the sarcasm whooshing over your head. Put down your big business charts and concentrate.

      1. Mock-star   11 years ago

        *hear*

        damnit

  24. Robert   11 years ago

    Reminds me of a line from Mozart Was A Red: "All this time I thought people smoked because they enjoyed it."

  25. PeterElfvin   11 years ago

    From: http://theweek.com/article/ind.....or-muslims "The ubiquitous Serrano ham legs hanging in restaurants and homes across the country are the legacy of public displays of pork-eating ? prohibited by Judaism and Islam ? by new or pretending Christians hundreds of years ago.

    "Those never seen eating pork became suspects of the Inquisition," says historian Sebastian de la Obra, director of Casa Sefarad, a museum of Sephardic culture and tradition in the Andalusian city of Cordoba.

    The Spanish expression "hacer sabado," or "Saturdaying," refers to housecleaning and washing by converted Jews, who left windows and doors open to prove they weren't observing the Sabbath, the Jewish holy day of rest." So Bryan Fischer is only 522 years out of date.

  26. Corning   11 years ago

    yet this sort of truly inane and a propos of nothing statement

    I call people and their statements insane all the time....mostly it is hyperbole.

    Anyway to say that restaurants in the US sell bacon because the prominent religion which has deep roots in our laws, culture, and morality does not prohibit its sale does not seem insane to me at all.

  27. David_B   11 years ago

    Christianity is a Jewish sect. Jesus, if he existed, was Jewish, not Christian.

    1. GamerFromJump   11 years ago

      ^ this.

      Also, Jesus being married, far from being the scandal popularly depicted, would have been normal and expected for a 1st century rabbi. An unmarried 30-year-old preaching would have been responded to with "go away kid, you bother me".

      1. David_B   11 years ago

        And also, as a Torah keeping Jew, Jesus would likely have been thoroughly perplexed by these New Testaments.

        We could conceivably call the New Testament, the gospels of Paul,influenced by Greco-Roman mythology directed at his Greco-Roman audience.

        We might then be much more acurate in renaming Christianity to Paulianity.

  28. GamerFromJump   11 years ago

    Um, no, restaurants serve bacon because it's popular and people buy it. If it wasn't, they wouldn't.

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