Feds' Plot to Stop Small-Town Cookies Backfires Into International Demand


Apparently, the Elyria, Ohio, school district made a darn good cookie. So good, these pink-frosted confections were declared Cleveland's "Best Cafeteria Cookie" a few years ago. This back-to-school season, though, federal food police decided to put an end to the award-winning treat. Now, the plan to keep people away from their sweets seems to have backfired: People from around the U.S. (and even Canada!) are demanding the cookie.
The bad news, which The Chronicle-Telegram broke last week:
[A federal] edict calling for school districts to provide more fruits and vegetables, lean proteins and whole grains to students along with fewer calories, fat and cholesterol has resulted in the loss of the pink cookie.
"We can't have them in the cafeteria for sale, period," said Scott Teaman, food services director with Sodexo Inc., the district's contracted food provider. "The guidelines for snacks are very strict, and there is no wiggle room."
It's not surprising the pink cookie does not meet the revamped food guidelines. Much about it hasn't changed in nearly four decades — that's how long the pink cookie was on the menu.
A local ABC affiliate explains that "the cookie, which contains real butter, exceeded the number of calories allowed per a la carte item, according to the National School Lunch Program."
The bakers refused to change the recipe, and even Elyria's mayor stood by them:
You can't change the recipe of the pink cookie. It's like eating diet potato chips. It's not right. … I grew up eating them. They are a comfort food. It's one of those things that's special to our community.
If the feds thought that by banning the pink cookie in school they'd prevent people from gobbling them down, they were wrong. The bakers are still permitted to take special orders, and the chorus of dismay at demise of "the perfect cookie" has grown from local "cult followers" to nationwide curious sweet-tooths, and demand has skyrocketed.
"The [school] district has received at least 100 calls and emails from Illinois, Hawaii, Minnesota, New York, Montana and Canada from people who want to taste or have something to say about" the cookie, according to yesterday's Telegram.
The district is now trying to figure out the logistics of shipping the cookies around the country, but won't begin baking until after Labor Day. They're also thinking about making the cookie smaller, so that it contains less calories, and can be reintroduced at the school.
In case you want to make your own cookies in defiance of federal nannying, or you just want to know if it lives up to the hype, here's the recipe.
Editor's Note: As of February 29, 2024, commenting privileges on reason.com posts are limited to Reason Plus subscribers. Past commenters are grandfathered in for a temporary period. Subscribe here to preserve your ability to comment. Your Reason Plus subscription also gives you an ad-free version of reason.com, along with full access to the digital edition and archives of Reason magazine. We request that comments be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment and ban commenters for any reason at any time. Comments may only be edited within 5 minutes of posting. Report abuses.
Please
to post comments
"The guidelines for snacks are very strict, and there is no wiggle room."
Strictness is the hallmark of government big and small.
I'd like to see the guidelines for math and English.
Actually retardation is the hallmark of gov.
Nothing in the universe more evil than a moron with authority.
herp-a-derp - kids need lower fat and MORE GRAINZZZZ.
If there's delicious food somewhere, you can bet that Montanans want to try it. ... And don't care what it costs to have it shipped, like just about everything else.
And don't care what it costs to have it shipped
What do you do for that half of the year when the roads and rails are impassable?
Drone delivery of course!
Please. They almost never close the roads here.
There are only two seasons in Montana, anyway: winter and road construction.
I've been through a few times, always during that two week period where it doesn't always get below freezing at night. Road construction is an understatement.
You caught me... It's mostly just winter.
We never get to say winter is coming because it never really goes away.
what about hunting season?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNUr__-VZeQ
Just cut them in half, like Solomon.
^^^this^^^
Then they will pass a law making it illegal to cut cookies in half.
It's people like you, dodging the intent of the law, who are to blame for the proliferation of stupid laws. Just submit and everything will go a lot smoother.
malicious compliance, my favorite kind of compliance.
Drop the cookie, put your hands up, and you won't get shot.. maybe.
The PTSA used to be in charge of the school store at my son's high school. We would sell school supplies and snacks (candy and chips) at lunch, before and after school. It was a significant money maker that kept us from having to brow beat parents with the usual crappy fund raising schemes. The kids willingly spent for things they could easily obtain at the 7-11 down the street as we had an open campus. Then came the regulation that you couldn't sell any candy over 1.75oz, which effectively eliminated all of them but the lowly Hershey bar. It took all of 30 seconds to decide to change to "Fun Size" bars. Problem solved. It was quite a sight at Target on the day after Halloween as I wheeled out two carts filled with fun-sized treats at 50% off! I was responsible for a $15,000 increase in the school store earnings that year...for real! Of course now Michelle has ruined it all... 🙁
How about mini-cookies?
Know who else wanted to control what the children ate?
The witch in Hansel and Gretel?
Ariel Castro?
The Wookie?
Willy Wonka?
My orphan manager?
Jack Merridew?
Mrs. Mann?
Your mom? My mom? Any mom ever?
Mr. Bumble?
I ALREADY DID OLIVER TWIST, DANG IT!
Hiter?
Eddie Money?
Candy Maldonado?
Am I getting warm?
They're also thinking about making the cookie smaller, so that it contains less calories, and can be reintroduced at the school
Here we go again. Let's force the people to have 3 cookies instead of one 32 oz. sugary drink, derp.
Government is THE perfect example of always doing the same thing over again no matter how many times it doesn't work.
The logical response of the children and their parents would be, "Gee, maybe we should get government out of education altogether if this is what they make us do."
But instead, the response will be for "smarter, more sensible regulations." And round and round we go.
mmmmm, FYTW cookies.
Which parts of the Constitution empower the government to do this again? Serious, what tortured logic is relied on to go from enumerated powers to cookie prohibitions and dietary codes?
The all encompassing FYTW clause, of course.
Wickard v. Filburn.
tldr; Any action you take has an impact on interstate commerce, which the Federal gov't is allowed to regulate, according to the Constitution.
Then there's the Obamacare decision, which expanded that to include all actions you don't take.
So, as Hyp said, the FYTW clause. Figured.
There's so many FYTW clauses, though. We assumed you wanted the specific one for this situation.
I suppose you are correct. I just tend to think of the Commerce Clause as the original FYTW. Sort of the Joe Kennedy Sr of them all.
In one of the Federalists, 13 I think, Alexander Hamilton explains that the best reason for having a Union is uniform school cafeteria guidelines.
Close - it was 14
Ladies and Gentlemen, The Child Nutrition Act of 1966:
Big Daddy Iowa expects his bitches to trick their ass off for those caucus votes.
Sebastian . I just agree... Helen `s artlclee is astonishing, I just bought Chevrolet when I got my cheque for $6747 this-last/month and would you believe, ten k last-month . without a doubt it is the nicest work Ive had . I actually started 8-months ago and straight away made myself over $78, p/h .
100% free registration------- http://www.jobsfish.com
Enumerated powers? Ha! So quaint!
The government has unlimited powers, constrained only by the BoR. As far as our rights go? They enumerated in the BoR.
Fuck you, that's why.
But the ninth and tenth amendments are in the BoR...
The BoR only consist of portions of the first amendment and the third amendment. The rest are the BoP (bill of Patriarchy)
Oh, right. It's hard to remember that, being a man and all.
It's in the Spooner clause to Article V, which notes that the people who threaten you with violence get to determine what you do irrespective of ink on a piece of paper.
I may have a try at baking some of these this weekend.
Send a dozen to the white house while you're at it. See if they get the reference.
Do they list the recipe? I'd rather donate money and make them myself than have to suffer the waiting.
Yes, I said suffer.
the recipe is in the link in the story, but they left out the pink icing recipe.
Derp. I don't usually explore links while I'm at work; they're ban-happy here. Thanks.
I'll just have to make my own pink icing! With blackjack! And hookers!
And despite having this marvelous cookie, Elyria is still a shithole. Not as bad as its neighbor Lorain, but close.
When I lived in nearby Avon, I frequented a motorcycle shop in Elyria - Kennedy's Cycle. Best thing about that place. Otherwise, it was Mrs. Havisham's Younger Sister - not quite as dead as her older sister yet, but catching up as fast as she can.
Anyhoo - now there are TWO things to like about Elyria!
Can't wait until some kids get busted for hawking these cookies behind the building after school.
"hey, I heard you have the stuff"
"yeah, all natural, top quality. You can't get the real thing from anybody else"
"OK, how much for a dozen?"
"$50 for 13"
FREEZE MOTHERFUCKER! HANDS UP! HANDS UP ASEHOLE!
They're also thinking about making the cookie smaller,
I'm wondering how stupid someone has to be to take more than a millisecond to come up with that plan. But these empty skulls are "thinking" about it still.
They're wondering about ways to make the debate go away so that people will stop bitching and they can get on with their bullshit jobs suckling on the taxpayers' teat.
Wouldn't it just be simpler if the government provided us all with a list of things we can eat, can do, and can think? After all, each list would have only one or two items on it and that way, we would all be compliant little robots and not cause trouble.
For all it's derided, in my experience institutional food is well above avg., certainly compared to homemade. Jean Shepherd even noted that US Army food was better on the whole than the home cooking most were used to. I've had some bad institutional food, but usually it's pretty good. There's something to be said for the ability to save $ by buying in bulk, to use full time professionals in production, and the rapid feedback you get from customers exposed to the product repeatedly in a short period.
my son was an E5 in an Army Difac in Korea. He learned a lot about cooking for large numbers of people, and came home with some good recipes.
This is what happens when you take federal money.
Hum. Never thought I'd seen a Streisand effect on food in action.
my roomate's sister makes $83 an hour on the computer . She has been unemployed for 7 months but last month her pay check was $13403 just working on the computer for a few hours. pop over to this site.......
???????? http://www.netjob70.com
"so that it contains less calories" Fewer calories, professional writer.
Nothing in the universe dumber than cretin with authority.
The feral gov strikes again.
Olivia . you think Elaine `s st0rry is inconceivable, last week I bought a top of the range Ariel Atom since I been earnin $9671 thiss month and-over, ten-k this past-munth . it's by-far the most comfortable work Ive had . I began this six months/ago and immediately began to bring in more than $71, per hour .
Get More Info------- http://www.jobsfish.com