Watch Matt Welch on HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher Friday at 10 p.m.!


Lessons were learned. |||

On Friday at 10 p.m. American time, I will be making a second trip to HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher, where I will join panelists Baratunde Thurston and Arianna Huffington in talking about such topics as the Benghazi select committee, the return of Monica Lewinsky, the mass Nigerian girl-kidnapping, Islam, and more. Should be a hoot.

You can see my previous appearance on Real Time at this link, and submit a question for the "Overtime" segment here.

NEXT: Feds Prosecute Medical Marijuana Users in Washington City Where Cannabusinesses Openly Operate

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  1. Does Bill Maher have a nut chair on this show like he did on Politically Incorrect? And are you in the nut chair?

    1. All libertarians get the nut chair. Everywhere.

      1. Do you still get the nut chair if you don’t have nuts? I’m thinking Varys here, not a woman or libertarian necessarily.

        1. Or a frequent reader of Balko.

          1. You still have nuts, but Balko has kicked them up into your abdomen…

    2. Nut chair is where Bill Maher sits.

    3. It depends on whose point of view you consider nutty. But the one he put’s the dissenting opinion is one furthest away from Maher, the viewer’s far left.

      1. I’m assuming that’s to mitigate the odds of Maher getting punched in the face.

        1. More than likely it is so they can cut out the absolute dumbfounded looks of the commentator that occurs when anybody else on panel opens their mouth. As if to say how can you pay bills, live on your own, be educated and read the news semi-regualarly and have such a childish notion of how the world works. Or maybe that’s just projection.

    4. Does Bill Maher have a nut chair on this show like he did on Politically Incorrect? And are you in the nut chair?

      Yes. Penn Gillette once noted Bill Maher’s nut chair. Penn looked around before the show started, and wondered to himself, “Huh, who’s in the Nut Chair?”. Curious, he leaned over to Maher and said, “Psst, hey, who’s the resident crackpot tonight?” Maher just smiled.

      Conclusion: If you have to ask…

  2. No.

    It’s just too painful to view Maher’s hideously disfigured face.

    1. More painful still is to listen to the hideously disfigured stuff that comes out of that face.

  3. Maybe if I could just watch Matt I would, but if I have to watch and listen to Maher as well, I’ll probably pass,

    1. As fucked up as Maher’s opinions are, at least he doesn’t pretend to be anything he isn’t ala John Stewart. He’s also not afraid to call a spade a spade.

      1. Yeah, Maher may be a brat, but he’s better than Stewart.

        Stewart hides behind his comedic credentials to evade criticism. “You can’t seriously be criticizing me. I’m just a comedian!”

        Also, Maher doesn’t use deceptive edits like Stewart. That isn’t to say he doesn’t use deception, but Maher avoids unfalsifiable positions. (Example: Allowing Bill Frist to kick his ass on the efficacy and safety of vaccines.)

      2. He used to refer to himself as libertarian, so there’s that.

        Although in fairness, he does have a libertarian streak on the drug war, NSA surveillance, and even dare I say a libertarian temperment in areas not concerning money (he was one of the few people leftists who actively declared that people still have a right to be an asshole after the Donald Sterling fracas).

        1. I actually think there was a time when Maher was a legitimate libertarian (A little bit flimsy, but he’d barely pass the libertarian purity test.)

          But like most people, after Bush was elected, he lost whatever bit of libertarianism he had left and hitched his wagon to the socialism train.

          Maher might have sincere concerns about government and political correctness, but he’s more concerned with the fashion statement that comes with being on the Left.

          1. So, anti-Bush = socialism?

            1. DUR DUR

            2. Maher was kind of pro-Bush (or at least pro-war on terror) for while, wasn’t he?

            3. “So, anti-Bush = socialism?”

              It’s pronounced Boooooossssshhhhpig!

        2. He was a lot more libertarian on Politically Incorrect.

        3. Even after all the articles, I’m unaware of what direct relevance the Sterling case has to libertarianism (though I can understand why Reason wrote about it).

      3. Maher identifies himself as a libertarian.

        1. Obama identifies himself as a constitutional law scholar. Don’t make it so.

          1. Actually, Harvard Law School did that.

            1. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

          2. Indeed. He’s certainly not viewed as such by lawyers or legal scholars, having no publications or ever holding a tenure-track position. Not that anyone cares about such things.

      4. But I can only listen to so many rants about “Socialism is great, just look at Sweden.” What I really hate about his show is how he gives so much weight and time to the people who agree with him who say idiotic things, turns it over to the voice of reason for one sentence, makes a joke about what they said so the audience can laugh with him and then moves on. I haven’t watched in a long time, but he never gave time to anyone he thought might show him up on a subject.

        1. You obviously don’t watch Real Time. Sometimes there are two conservatives on and they both get plenty of time.

          A month or so ago Duncan Hunter Jr (the son) got plenty of time and the audience applauded him. He is a new R in the House.

  4. You should show up really, really stoned, Matt. Then they can really treat you like the “pot-smoking Republican” they think you are.

  5. Always enjoy watching Matt on TV, but it sounds like this will be 3 on 1 on every issue, especially Benghazi.

    1. Yeah my instant response upon reading the headline was “Oh, no, why would you do that to yourself?”

      On the other hand I truly do appreciate folks like Welch who suffer through places and people like this in the slim hopes of getting the message of liberty out, though. I wouldn’t have the patience for it myself.

      1. Welch has been Hannitized recently, for crying out loud.

        Nothing can be worse than that. And yes, Bill Maher is more libertarian than Sean Hannity.

        1. Welch has been Hannitized

          PB is down to sticking random non-words together again I see.

  6. I can just imagine it:

    Matt shows up with a ton of facts and well thought-out opinions…and everyone will ignore him.

  7. I can’t wait for Maher to school Welch on what it means to be a “real” libertarian. Rumor has it he scored even higher than PB on the libertarian purity test.

    1. I would donate real money to Reason if Matt calls Maher a “cocaine and hooker libertarian” that only wants those things to be legal because he enjoys them.

      He doesn’t give a shit about economic liberty and even chastised libertarians for “ruining it” with their “creepy obsession with free market capitalism”.

      1. Maher is the textbook example of the terrible conflation of license with liberty that America seems to have totally embraced.

        1. ^This.

          My love of liberty is not merely the result of my similar love of hookers and blow. I always feel guilty about the hookers and blow afterwards, but never about the defense of liberty.

          1. Wuss. REAL libertarians are never guilty. About anything.

            /True Scotsman

          2. Why do you feel guilty about the hookers and blow? Do you indulge too much? Do you harm someone in the process? Are you married?

      2. For the record, I will donate money if Welch manages to combine the two greatest episodes of Real Time into a single sequence by simultaneously mocking the audience for being trained seals (a la Hitchens) and getting the mayor of some shitty city in I think Pennsylvania to put up a macho act and challenge you to a fight (a la Gillespie).

        1. “That’s not being facetious…You’re audience, who will apparently clap at anything, is frivolous.” – Christopher Hitchens.

          1. To be fair, TV show audiences are often instructed to clap at everything.

            1. They probably weren’t instructed to “boo” at Hitches, who likewise probably wasn’t instructed to flip them off.

              But it was perfectly beautiful nonetheless.

              I miss Hitchens.

  8. I know this is getting to be a very rare type event these days, so I need to post it here:

    Cops shoot 93 year old woman dead in her home

    1. There are almost no details in that article, but suppose she had a gun for whatever reason. If she was in her own home why would that be a crime?

      Cops can enter a person’s home and shoot them for holding a gun?

      1. The officer has been put on paid administrative leave

        That’s not how you earn paid time off at your job? You should consider a new line of work Serious Man.

        And for the record, the officer of the peace made it home safely that night and nothing else happened and that’s all that matters.

      2. Someone placed an anonymous call about a gun. Which means they can do anything they want. Because fuck you, that’s why.

        1. Didn’t the Supreme Court just settle that an anonymous tip justifies anything that the cops need it to?

          1. Pretty much.

        2. If you’re a cop, and you have an enemy, do you just anonymously call 911 and report a “suspicious person with a gun” at their residence while on patrol, make sure to be the unit stationed nearby, and then kick down the door guns a blazing to murder your rival?

          Because if that’s how things go, I may have to reconsider a recent graduate of the academy whose gf I was planning on stealing.

          1. Please. Don’t. Give. Them. MOAR. Ideas.


          2. Well if it’s LAPD, he’ll probably end up shooting the Hispanic ladies down the street instead of you.

      3. He got mad because she didn’t have a dog.

      4. Cops are heroic individuals that risk their lives for public safey, but it’s a scary world out there so they are justified in shooting a 93 year old woman because that’s what heroes and real men do.

      5. No details in the article? You must have missed this:

        Hearne is a town of about 4,500, located 60 miles southeast of Waco.

        She was clearly a crackpot. She’s lucky they didn’t burn her out.

        1. She’s lucky they didn’t burn her out.

          Yeah, but this was a local cop, right?

          I’m only asking because I think in the official rule book is that only the feds are allowed to set buildings on fire.

          Local cops, not being as well trained, are only allowed to shoot people.

          Though note: the rules are subject to change without notice.

    2. Seriously, how many people do cops have to shoot before people get sick enough of it? All of them?

      1. As many as it takes.

    3. From the comments:

      Boy, this officer has really bad luck. This is the second time in 2 years that Officer Stephen Stem was forced to shoot and kill a suspect. At least he’s familiar with how internal investigations work. Hope he gets off desk duty soon.

      I can’t tell if this is serious or not.

      1. It’s sarcasm.

      2. I’m guessing not since they avoided the passive voice.

    4. One of the comments has more details.

      Apparently the woman had a gun and didn’t immediately obey when the officer told her to drop it. The second person he’s killed in the last two years.

      1. The first one didn’t have a dog either. Hopefully, everyone in town will get a dog soon.

  9. HBO: Pay for That Dungeons & Dragons Show, stay for the smug uninformed political debates.

      1. Hey, I liked that show.

        1. So did I. That doesn’t change the fact that it was pretty dumb, and about as D&D as GoT.

          1. Well, yeah. I kept hoping they’d get attacked by an Otyugh. But the black acrobat chick was hot.

            1. I just liked when Tiamat would show up and give Venger a hard time.

          2. and about as D&D as GoT.

            There was nudity and incestuous sex in that cartoon? How did I miss that?

        2. Which is why you are here now. People were warning that D&D would turn people into demons libertarians, but no one listened.

      2. In advanced D&D an acrobat is a sub-class of thief.

        Interesting that they made the two girls thieves and the black girl a sub-class thief.

    1. Don’t they usually have a Hollywood Lefty join the panel?

      Who would you like to see Matt debate?

      Sean Penn, ScarJo, Oliver Stone, Michael Moore, Samuel L. Jackson, Seth MacFarlane?

      1. Sweater Vest, hands down.

        But, honorable mention:

        Joan Walsh

        1. Sorry, not Hollyweird lefties, but I had to think outside that box.

        2. Joan Walsh on Television:

          “I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”

          1. Well in the case of Xenomorphs that would probably be true.

        3. Jim Tressel is a Hollywood Lefty? Can sloopy weigh in on this?

          1. I don’t think they were talking about “Punty” McSweatervest.

            1. OH. So – Bob Knight from his Indiana days.

    2. I’ll watch Matt if he’s on Sunday at 9. Otherwise, no.

    3. I’ll admit to enjoying the first episode of Last Week Tonight.

      Although I can see it becoming insufferable in short order.

  10. I thought last time we had a Reason-columnist-appearing-on-Maher thread it was Nick, and we were taking donations for a face-punching (of Maher that is). Are we just worried that Matt really isn’t up to it? I know I am.

  11. I see your alt-text, and I raise you ‘one red floppy-collar shirt with purple tie’ =

  12. Dear Reason:
    Please quit advertising for Bill Maher. He is the enemy. Thanks!

    Love, Anon.

    1. Meh. Considering people who disagree with you enemies is the sort of thing that progressives do. You have to do a lot worse than be an asshole with silly political views on TV to be my enemy.

      1. Oh no, I don’t consider anyone with an opposing view my enemy. Bill Maher is just that fucking dishonest/terrible/etc.

  13. Isn’t it about time to repost the gaming thread again? That way, we can get working on the script for the first all libertarian action RPG.

  14. Harry Reid’s transformation into Julius Striker is now complete.

    Charles and David Koch are one of the “main causes” of climate change, charged Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid on the Senate floor.

    “While the Koch brothers admit to not being experts on the matter, these billionaire oil tycoons are certainly experts at contributing to climate change. That’s what they do very well. They are one of the main causes of this. Not a cause, one of the main causes,” Reid said.

    It wasn’t just climate change: Reid also blamed the Kochs for imperiling an energy efficiency bill currently on the Senate floor, an accusation that comes not long after the Democratic leader blamed the Kochs for stalling Ukrainian aid.

    “Charles and David Koch are waging a war against anything that protects the environment. I know that sounds absurd, but it’s true,” Reid said. “In the Senate now we are considering an energy efficiency bill. Who’s working against that more than anyone else? The Koch brothers.…..06441.html

    Bonus points for the approvingly neutral tone of the Politico piece. No mention of how bat shit insane Reid had become. Just straight up reporting of something Politico seems to think is a serious issue.

    1. I started three responses to this post and deleted them all. I don’t even know what to say.

      1. It’s hard for me to accept that a person could rise to the position that this jackass holds and be able to actually believe the shit that he is spewing. I think that this is poll-tested rhetoric designed to emotionally ping the D base as often as possible in order to mitigate the damage in the coming elections.

        1. That is actually even worse. It would be one thing if the Majority leader in the Senate was insane. That is not good but it is only one guy. It is something much worse for millions of voting Americans to be insane.

        2. It saddens me that the D base believes this. Just as it would sadden me if the R base, or L base (or any base, for that matter) would listen to this shit and nod in agreement. Imagine if [insert Republican here] said that George Soros was the centrally responsible for… shit, I dunno, the decline of the American dream or some shit.

          It’s so dumb it defies logic.

          1. Just as it would sadden me if the R base

            Feel free to be saddened, as the WoT comes right to mind for red team versions of the same shit. Listening to Peter King talk is just about the same thing.

            1. King isn’t talking about Americans.

              1. No, but he uses the same appeals to emotion to manipulate people.

              2. That’s true if “Muslim” and “American” are mutually exclusive, which they’re not.

            2. Funny, considering how much terrorism Peter King has enabled.

        3. I think he not only doesn’t fully believe this, but knows full well it’s not true and still uses it because it strategically works.

          One way to openly define yourself and present a “battle” for supporters to support, is to openly define your enemies.

          The problem with “global warming” (we shouldn’t let them change this to “climate change”) is it’s nebulous – so there’s no obvious enemy (bad weather? consumers? etc?) to be against.

          Boil it down to one person/one organization though – and suddenly you’ve separated yourself from them, and the problems they supposedly cause or contribute to.

          This gives something for your supporters to emotionally invest in – otherwise known as rallying the base.

          & Reid is an immoral POS for doing this (though it’s only one thing in a long line of them….).

    2. I know that sounds absurd

      Ya think, Harry?

      Harry’s just looking for a way to take attention off his BLM shenanigans and he knows the mongoloids who support his TEAM are instantaneously distracted by the word “Koch” like a kitten with a piece of string.

      1. It is no different than the crazy shit the Nazis used to say about the Jews.

    3. Reid has completely lost his mind. Soon enough he’ll be seen slumping over in a senate seat with a drool bib on.

    4. In case anybody is wondering who John is referencing, it’s ‘Julius Streicher.’

      1. Not sure he is smart enough to be Alfred Rosenburg.

      2. Thank you for that.

        A tidbit:

        His publishing firm also released three anti-Semitic books for children

        You know who else tries to release propaganda to children to further a political cause?

        1. Captain Planet and the Planeteers?

        2. Rush Limbaugh


      3. I thought he was referencing Ted Striker from Airplane!

        1. “Looks like I picked the wrong time to quit sniffing glue!”

          1. “picked the wrong week to quit”


  15. OT: Meanwhile some good news out of Wisconson.

    In his 26-page decision, U.S. District Judge Rudolph Randa in Milwaukee told prosecutors to immediately stop the long-running, five-county probe into possible illegal coordination between Walker’s campaign, the Wisconsin Club for Growth and a host of others during the 2011 and 2012 recall elections.

  16. There’s gotta be something else on at that hour!

  17. Matt you should walk out naked- it is HBO after all.

    1. Wouldn’t that be more appropriate for Cinemax?

      1. No, it would be more appropriate for HBO, the network that brought you Real Sex*

        *A show where HBO producers managed to find unattractive people willing to take their clothes off in front of the camera. in case you didn’t get the joke.

  18. How quickly will Maher say “Koch Brothers”?

    1. Really fast, if Matt walks out nekkid.

  19. On Friday at 10 p.m. American time, I will be making a second trip to HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher, where I will join panelists Baratunde Thurston and Arianna Huffington in talking about such topics as the Benghazi select committee, the return of Monica Lewinsky, the mass Nigerian girl-kidnapping, Islam, and more. Should be a hoot.

    That would make things like watching snuff films “a hoot” as well, if this is the standard we’re talking about.

    I am going to refrain from engaging in any activity that may prematurely accelerate the inevitable death of my very precious neurons, including watching a single episode of Real Time With Bill Maher. I want to live to 109 or more, if possible with my mind intact, so I’m taking NO chances.

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