Matt Welch on Real Time with Bill Maher: Government Shutdown, Ted Cruz, Obamacare, Income Inequality, Corporatism and More!

On Friday, Sept. 27, I appeared on HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher, always an interesting experience. You can watch the results below:

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  • Sunken Idaho||

    If only you put Reich in a sandwich bag and threw it into the river.

  • General Butt Naked||

    And don't forget to tie a brick to his face.

  • Irish||

    I feel like Robert Reich is still a little pissed about that time Willy Wonka enslaved his people and forced them to make chocolate.

  • Finrod||

    Bwahahahahahahaha.

  • ||

    I got 5 minutes in and burned out on hearing all the "Yay my team! Boo the other team!" stuff. Kudos Matt for sitting at the same table with those nincompoops. Personally I could not stomach it. I cant stand the sight of, or sound of either Maher or Reich.

    Fuck teams. Either you believe in self-ownership and all that follows from it or you do not. I would like to see someone nail those fuckers down on that sometime, get them to admit outright that they dont believe people own themselves. Collectivists and superstition all around.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Was this the one where Maher joked about the Republicans not caring about dead Mexicans vis-a-vis Fast & Furious? Because I got that far (about 10 seconds) in the last video of his show that I watched.

    Pro tip Bill: even if what you said were true, the Democrats don't really seem to give a fuck about those dead Mexicans, either. The guy in the White House sure as fuck doesn't.

  • ||

    No, but he was just as disingenuous with "Obama did reach across the aisle! He did try to unite people, but you cant if the other side doesnt reach back!"

    I remember hearing him tell the whole nation, and indirectly the republican leadership, " You can come along for the ride, but you have to sit in the back seat and shut up.".

    His entire presidency has been "we won, stfu and do as we say.".

    Dead Mexicans vis-a-vis Fast and Furious? That is hilarious as Obama and Holder are accessories to their murders.

    As I have noted before, the left NEVER argues in good faith. EVER.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Link?

    " You can come along for the ride, but you have to sit in the back seat and shut up.".

    That sounds like a whopper.

    See below:

    Throughout the debate on health insurance reform, Republican concepts and proposals have been included in legislation. In fact, hundreds of Republican amendments were adopted during the committee mark-up process. As a result, both the Senate and the House passed key Republican proposals that are incorporated into the President’s Proposal.
    Review a few of the Republican initiatives included in legislation passed by Congress:

    Includes personal responsibility incentives: Allows health insurance premium to vary based on participation in proven employer wellness programs
    (Sources: H.R. 3468, “Promoting Health and Preventing Chronic Disease through Prevention and Wellness Programs for Employees, Communities, and Individuals Act” (Castle bill); H.R. 4038, “Common Sense Health Care Reform & Accountability Act” (Republican Substitute bill); H.R. 3400, “Empowering Patients First Act” (Republican Study Committee bill); H.R. 3970, “Medical Rights & Reform Act” (Kirk bill), "Coverage, Prevention and Reform Act")

    http://www.whitehouse.gov/heal.....ican-ideas

    I have to call bullshit when it gets that thick.

  • everyone||

    The buttplug is an expert on shit!

    Palin's Buttplug| 9.2.13 @ 5:57PM |#

    If everyone agreed with me I would quit posting.
  • ||

    Fuck you.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0YH6UQNbBo

    There is your link you lying shithead.

    Have I mentioned that you never argue in good faith? EVER.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    It was nice of him to come out and illustrate your point so perfectly.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    I pointed out several examples where Obama requested and received GOP ideas for the ACA. In fact, "hundreds" of GOP amendments were taken to markup.

    That is hardly telling the GOP to "shut up".

    Did the GOP drive the economy into the ditch? Of course they did. Pointing out the fact that they don't call the shots now is academic.

  • Sevo||

    Palin's Buttplug|9.29.13 @ 8:22PM|#
    "I pointed out several examples where Obama requested and received GOP ideas for the ACA."

    Yes, you slimy turd, he said 'here it is. If you want to suggest a change that suits me, I'll think about it.'
    Go fuck your daddy.

  • Francisco d Anconia||

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    Oh and, fuck you asshole.

  • ||

    No response? You got your link, where is my apology?

  • anon||

    Wait, you actually expected The Shriek to apologize?

    Unrealistic Expectations.

  • ||

    Heh. No, I expected what I got, silence. Like I said, never in good faith.

  • General Butt Naked||

    He apologized but you couldn't hear him over the slurping sounds of voracious felatio that occur when shrike hears mention of Dear Leader.

  • Tejicano||

    Palin's Buttplug|9.29.13 @ 6:52PM|#

    Link?

    I don't know why this surprised me. I couldn't see why Shriek would call out anybody on something which would be so easily backed up in neon. Then I remembered that nothing it does is in good faith and it would simply ignore it and limp along as if everybody was on its side.

    What a pointless piece of shit you are Shriek.

  • Acosmist||

    Oh man, linking to this forever when you say anything. You got your fucking link, you little shit.

  • Paul.||

    Pro tip Bill: even if what you said were true, the Democrats don't really seem to give a fuck about those dead Mexicans, either. The guy in the White House sure as fuck doesn't.

    You can't court us and deport us!

    Obama administration: Si se puede!

  • Paul.||

    What about TEAM FREEDOM?

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    "A filibuster is the political version of twerking".

    Maner on Ted Cruz similarities to Miley Cyrus attention whoring.

  • everyone||

    Maher - the Mark Twain of the 21st century. Shrike is right again!


    Palin's Buttplug| 9.2.13 @ 5:57PM |#

    If everyone agreed with me I would quit posting.
  • VG Zaytsev||

    Remember when Buttplug said that about Wendy Davis's filibuster?

    Me neither.

  • Finrod||

    Because if you switch the teams around, then it's All Different, even if they're doing the exact same thing.

    In fucked-up liberal world, anyways.

  • Warrren||

    Sorry man, but there's no way I'm watching that.

  • Rhywun||

    I haven't watched him since the Bush years. The smugness and lies were insufferable then, I can't imagine it now.

  • Warrren||

    Ever since he's got enough notoriety to be asked to give his opinion on other shows he really bought into the "hey I'm an intellectual heavyweight" shit.

    He's just an mal-informed clown with delusions of grandeur. Always was, just turned up to 11 now.

  • SIV||

    Maher's ABC show was great. He balanced the guests and went for the laughs.

  • Warrren||

    Unfortunately he often brought on idiot comedians that would stop the discussion in its tracks with some dipshit joke.

    Which I guess was part of the business model but it made the show intolerable.

  • Paul.||

    Are you suggesting he doesn't balance guests? It's five of Maher's friends, and one "crackpot".

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    I AM NOT CLICKING ON THAT!

    You cannot trick me into watching Bill Maher!

  • Warrren||

    It's actually a video of Obama admitting to being the mastermind behind all the scandals.

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    Not even if he admitted to fucking underage republican boys!

  • Warrren||

    There's a cute kitten doing something funny.

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    Okay.

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    Hey, you lied!

  • Tejicano||

    He merely mis-phrased it. He meant to say that there was some retarted pussy doing something you might consider amusing in a couple years.

  • Paul.||

    *slow clap*

  • WC Varones||

    Matt Welch endorses $3.6 trillion budget.

  • Len Bias||

    As much as I love reading what Welch and Gillespie have to say, I can only really stomach watching Gillespie on these things. Welch always plays nice in a hostile environment and gets mowed down, whereas Gillespie stands his ground and owns the other side.

    I get that Welch wants to be the good cop, but there's no point in doing where no one likes good cops.

  • ||

    Welch argues in good faith and makes the mistake of relying solely on the strength of his arguments. Among reasonable, civilized people this would suffice.

    For mendacious shitheads like Maher he should just sit and listen, smile, then break Maher's nose.

    When I establish a new Libertarian nation, Welch will be at the top of the 'invite' list.

  • Len Bias||

    Good point. I forgot to add that Welch does sometimes appear on shows where people respect each other and actually listen, and he does really well on those.

    Maybe wearing The Jacket would give him the strength to stand up to Maher.

  • Warrren||

    The Jacket chooses you, you don't choose the Jacket.

  • Paul.||

    When I establish a new Libertarian nation, Welch will be at the top of the 'invite' list.

    When I establish my new libertarian nation, I'm going to hold an election and throw anyone who shows up in jail.

  • Brett L||

    Completely OT, but fie on the NFL. If they aren't going to let scrambling QBs take hits (but make moves) at the sideline, or let defenders tackle people, I'm out. The Texans-Seahawks game is about the fifth game where I've seen a fast running QB fake for the sideline and pick up a first-down because the defenders can't hit the guy without drawing a flag. Just put flags on the receivers and QBs and call it a day.

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    Yet another step towards the pussification of America.

    Vagisil anyone?

  • BakedPenguin||

    Oh, you're just angry about your fantasy team.

  • Brett L||

    Please, I gave up on them ages ago.

  • sloopyinca||

    I got fucked because Peyton Manning was so good he got to sit the 4th Quarter. Now I had to have lost 7 or 8 points right there...while Tony Fucking Romo was racking up 6 or 7 in garbage time. Now my matchup for the week went from a 75% probability to 59%.

    Talk about your first-world problems.

  • Brett L||

    I feel like Peyton was just giving Chip Kelly a little welcome to the NFL. "Oh, 'the Blur offense'? Does it look like this?"

    But seriously, refs, the Broncos don't need any help in the end zone, so how about not calling pass interference when the defender isn't even touching the guy?

  • Ted S.||

    Peyton Manning is going to get his comeuppance in the playoffs.

  • Ted S.||

    I'd have figured you only draft players who went to An Ohio State University for your fantasy team.

  • sloopyinca||

    I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response, Ted.

  • Brett L||

    I think he had Aaron Hernandez since Urban Meyer thought AH was an okay guy.

  • Ted S.||

    I see the NFL has those "Hispanic Heritage Month" signs up around the league. You think they'll promote Aaron Hernandez? ;-)

  • Brett L||

    Well, Hispanics are known to be "passionate" and "hot-blooded". It would be like demonizing Ted Kennedy for driving his car off a bridge and leaving a girl to die inside. He was Irish, he was drunk, things happen.

  • sloopyinca||

    They need to do a "Cajun Heritage Month" and put "Foosball" signs around and have Kathy Bates do PSA's and shit.

  • sloopyinca||

    Hey, nobody gave John McKay shit for recruiting OJ Simpson.

  • Warrren||

    In the ARI@TB game there were two flags for PFs even though both defenders laid a clean hit.

    This is going to ruin the game. It may take me awhile to give up on it but I'm on that path.

  • Brett L||

    That and the "targeting" rule in college. I saw at least 2 15 yard penalties for textbook clean hits.

  • Emmerson Biggins||

    That is at least undergoing some exponential decay as the season progresses. Still not good. But there is hope there.

  • juris imprudent||

    This is actually a FIFA plot to make soccer look more manly.

  • Emmerson Biggins||

    Ya. I'm kinda done with it. "hitting to hard" is now a penalty. All the pretense they are piling on to rationalize it is just bullshit. Fuck them.

  • Irish||

    This is hilarious.

    Chad PergramVerified account
    ‏@ChadPergram

    Protester Cathryn Carroll yells at Hse R's on Senate steps "You weren't elected. Obama was elected. Not you." R's note they were elected

    This woman is apparently a professor of English at a college. Truly academics are our best and brightest.

  • The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc||

    Buh, buh GERRYMANDERING!!!1

  • ||

    Follow that link then click on the link at the bottom where Carroll talks about race.

    I got as far as her saying "....and I was like...uh...like.."
    Thats where I clicked the page closed. The person who hired her to teach English should commit seppuku immediately.

  • ||

    I got a bit farther... she's talking about how to integrate race into her English 101 class at a community college.

    Ugh.

  • Sevo||

    "This woman is apparently a professor [...] at a college."

    Yes, I'd say so.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    So. I got sucked into watching this Breaking Bad marathon. They should have put this show out of its misery a couple of seasons ago. Walter should have put Hank in an unmarked grave long ago, but he pleads for Hank's life when there is absolutely no conceivable alternative to killing him. Then that whole idiotic shitshow at the house where he tries to get what'shername and the kids to run off with him? Not to mention the eighty million dollars in cash buried out in the desert.

    My disbelief isn't that stretchy.

  • The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc||

    Walter should have put Hank in an unmarked grave long ago, but he pleads for Hank's life when there is absolutely no conceivable alternative to killing him.

    That's actually an important plot and character point: Walt isn't completely ruthless since he regards his family as off-limits. That's his weakness.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Additionally, he desperately wants his immediate family to come with him - which he knows is a non-starter if they learn Hank is dead because of his activities.

  • The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc||

    Certainly he was deluding himself if he thought that his son would just forgive him for murdering his uncle.

    Really, the show should have just ended with Walt dying in the cabin with a barrel of useless money, a fitting end result of his hubris.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Yes, that would have been fitting. Still, they've done pretty well, I want to see what they came up with.

  • Cytotoxic||

    You may as well give up on watching TV.

  • Sevo||

    "You may as well give up on watching TV."
    Good plan.

  • ||

    Yes, because people always act rationally.

    What exactly was unbelievable about poor decisions driven by personal emotions, or a devious and highly intelligent person amassing a giant fortune through exploiting a black market?

    "He didn't act like I would in my head stories" isn't the same as "this is implausible".

  • Paul.||

    What exactly was unbelievable about poor decisions driven by personal emotions,

    I know, right, it's like Brooks has never watched C-Span.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    If they aren't going to let scrambling QBs take hits (but make moves) at the sideline, or let defenders tackle people, I'm out.

    "Put a fucking dress on 'em."

  • The Late P Brooks||

    Walt isn't completely ruthless since he regards his family as off-limits.

    That may be so, but keeping him around was begging for trouble.

  • The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc||

    I think he was hoping that he would be dead by the time Hank found out. And he almost pulled it off if Hank hadn't have decided to take a shit in their bathroom.

  • The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc||

    Well how about that: Saturday Night Live makes fun of Obama and Obamacare.

  • ||

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    Okay, I'm going in.

    I gave up watching BSG when Starbuck got all fucking pissy. A good friend and also my wife insist I gut it out.

    Here goes. From the beginning...season 1, disk 1...

  • anon||

    I gave up watching BSG when Starbuck got all fucking pissy.

    Good thing, it only gets worse.

  • ||

    I gave up watching BSG when Starbuck got all fucking pissy.

    The first episode of the miniseries, you mean?

    I did like BSG a lot, though.

  • Warrren||

    Gave up on BSG at the end of the first half of the fourth season. If you got that far you can guess why.

  • The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc||

    So you missed out on the mutiny plot? Because that mostly redeemed Season 4 for me.

  • Cytotoxic||

    That was the only good part of S4. The rest of it can DIAF.

  • The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc||

    It really crashed hard with the finale and it did have some stinkers for episodes, but fuck it, it was still one of best shows of the past 15 years.

    I'll keep on defending it.

  • ||

    Basically my view. You subtract all the crap from all the good stuff, and you still end up with a pretty high net good.

  • Warrren||

    The Cylon stuff, while a cool idea really became unsustainable as the show went on.

  • The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc||

    Well when you keep telling the audience that the Cylons have a PLAN you better damn well come up with an adequate plan for them.

  • Warrren||

    Yeah, "The plan." While watching it I was thinking it was a massive behavioral experiment.

    For some reason the Cylons wanted to put the humans under a massive amount of stress and watch what happened.

    Maybe BSG was a reality show for the Cylons.

  • Cytotoxic||

    This.

  • Rhywun||

    Dittoes.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    Really, the show should have just ended with Walt dying in the cabin with a barrel of useless money, a fitting end result of his hubris.

    Or he could have shipped out on a tramp steamer with his barrels of cash, bound for a grass shack on some South Seas island, after cashing out of the game a winner.

    And they all lived happily ever after.

  • Paul.||

    Hey now, you've been reading my fantasies. Where'd you get the password?

  • sloopyinca||

    What the fuck is a "Breaking Bad"?

  • ||

    Your White Privilege card is revoked.

  • sloopyinca||

    I tried to watch the first episode and couldn't pull it off. I probably need to try it again once the entire series is on Netflix.

    I've lately resorted to watching entire series before changing to another. I'm currently a little over halfway through Dragnet for no reason whatsoever. What have I learned? That the smug morality of police is a timeless thing.

  • ||

    I actually have only seen about 20 minutes of it.

  • sloopyinca||

    Only 20 minutes of Dragnet? I hope it was the first episode where the evils of drugz were exposed to America.

  • ||

    I meant Breaking Bad (which I think you know). However, I have seen about that much of Dragnet, too.

  • General Butt Naked||

    The scene with the scientist dude was pretty funny.

    He talks about how lsd is taking over then goes on a 2 minute rant about how awful an lsd experience is. Well, if it's so goddamn bad you won't need a law against it.

  • sloopyinca||

    I know, right? Those two girls that had a bad trip said they'd never do it again. Funny that they made that decision free from coercion.

    They're just lucky they found out before it was made illegal. Otherwise Friday and Gannon would have had them thrown into juvenile hall to get their ass kicked by hardened punks.

  • General Butt Naked||

    I just watched on and later friday is explaining how bad it's become and how terrible this new drug is while smoking a goddamn cigarette. Jesus.

    Then the cops get their goddamn law and they had to film them standing behind a desk to hide the ginormous boners they got thinking about busting kids getting high.

  • Ted S.||

    I've been told the 1950s Dragnet was much less preachy.

  • sloopyinca||

    I prefer my 50's TV to be wholesome and fun. Like Leave It To Beaver or The Niggar Family.

  • Paul.||

    Your White Privilege card is revoked.

    Waaaait a minute!

    *checks wallet*

    I never got a white privilege card!

  • The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc||

    A legitimately good television show. While it is slightly overrated because of the massive hype, a lot of critics are just needless contrarian about it.

  • Brett L||

    One of the best first 3 seasons of TV ever. After El Pollo Locos got into the game it went downhill.

  • Warrren||

    I got bored of it like 3 eps into season 2. My bad?

  • Brett L||

    Nah. Everyone has their own breaking point.

  • ||

    That was a Bad pun.

  • sloopyinca||

    So it's basically the TV antithesis of your FFL team then?

  • Brett L||

    I'm the NY Giants of the league. Even I shouldn't be as bad as I am.

  • Warrren||

    Strangely it's Tom Coughlin's fault in both cases.

  • Irish||

    One of the best first 3 seasons of TV ever. After El Pollo Locos got into the game it went downhill.

    This is nonsense. The last two seasons are the best the show's ever been.

    I'm horrified that someone can be so wrong about something. Your opinions about T.V. shows are as bad as Tony's opinions about politics.

  • The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc||

    Yeah, I don't know how anyone can say the show got worse after they introduced Gus Fring and Mike.

  • Brett L||

    Because they went off the rails. It was too big. I like the character of Gus, but it went from something reasonable to something (for me) unbelievable. The little gay guy could totally have run the lab.

    Like Homeland, which the wife is watching now. If they would have fired the crazy chick and sent the Manchurian candidate to, say, Ft. Leavenworth or Ft. Knox, the show never happens. I just can't believe. Also, 3 seasons appears to be the cap on my attention span.

  • RyanXXX||

    Dude, the show has always been "big". It's a Shakespearian tragedy. You didn't think the plane crash that directly resulted from Walt and Jesse's actions in Season 2 was "big"?

  • Irish||

    The entire point of the show was to take Walt from family guy to a small time producer to a king pin and then break him down.

    Complaining that Breaking Bad got too big is like complaining that Macbeth got too big when he was made king.

  • sloopyinca||

    Anybody gonna be in Portland this coming weekend? I'm gonna be there Thursday and Friday night and am looking for something to do.

  • Warrren||

    Hippie/hipster punching?

  • sloopyinca||

    Nah, I've got an auction on Friday. And I've been ordered that there are to be no arrests the entire time I'm there. So basically, all casinos are out but a normal amount of drinking will be acceptable.

  • Warrren||

    No arrests?

    Go to a museum? Those are still things, right?

  • sloopyinca||

    Meh, I guess it's better than watching the Bills-Browns game that night.

  • Warrren||

    Punching yourself in the balls would be more fun than that.

  • Finrod||

    Shockingly, the Browns beat the Bengals today, and the Bills beat the Ravens.

  • Protagoronus||

    I had some ridiculously good Peruvian food there. Think the restaurant is called Andina.

  • Cytotoxic||

    First I had to put up with people not liking GoT, then STID, now there are people who don't like BB? Please tell me you're all trolling me. You can't have taste this bad.

  • ||

    STID?

  • sloopyinca||

    Star Trek II: The Wrath of The Second Kahn.

  • ||

    Oh, yeah. That movie sucked. And I haven't even seen any other Trek except for Abrams's.

  • Warrren||

    Super-Tranny Invades Detroit.

    A she-male detective/fixer type sets up shop in the Motor City.

  • sloopyinca||

    I'd probably watch that. It can't be as bad as New Girl.

  • Warrren||

    She's cute and zany!

  • sloopyinca||

    [blows brains out]

  • The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc||

    So absolutely ADOKRABLE!

  • sloopyinca||

    Please, for the love of God, STOP!

  • ||

    It's amusing how polarizing she is.

  • Warrren||

    Oh you! {rests chin on hands, tilts head}

  • Finrod||

    I like Zooey, but I refuse to watch any sitcoms for any reason whatsoever. Zooey was really good in Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, though.

  • sloopyinca||

    I thought STID was adequate.

  • The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc||

    A lot of it I actually liked or admired: the cast, the set designs, and the special effects.

    But the plot was a total mess, with a few key parts ripped off from Wrath of Khan and cheaply shoehorned in to the movie. That was not cool Abrams.

  • RyanXXX||

    I know. It's genuinely really hard for me to like or respect people who don't share my taste in TV, at least at first.

    Yesterday I was rewatching the latest episode of Breaking Bad and some dude walked in and said "eh, I could never get into that show." As if I asked for his fucking opinion on the best TV show of all time. As if his stupid fucking opinion mattered. I don't plan on hanging with that guy if I can help it (he's only a friend of a friend anyway)

  • Irish||

    ^^ I hope this is a joke post.

  • ||

    Same. He sounds like a really fun guy to hang out with.

  • RyanXXX||

    No, I'm serious. I realize it's a flaw in my character. But at the same time I'm surrounded by people who watch Duck Dynasty and have never read a book for pleasure in their life. They can shut their fucking mouths

  • sloopyinca||

    Dude, Duck Dynasty is quite possibly the seventh sign of the apocalypse.

  • Irish||

    DON'T YOU TALK SHIT ABOUT DUCK DYNASTY!

    I've only watched like three episodes, but I thought it was a little bit of a guilty pleasure. Nothing wrong with stupid entertainment.

    Plus the main guy's wife is really cute. That's always a benefit.

  • sloopyinca||

    I will admit to watching Pawn Stars, but Duck Dynasty is a bridge too far.

  • sloopyinca||

    I'm hoping Julio Jones doesn't have a big night. I could get out to a solo lead in my division of the J sub D memorial.

  • Brett L||

    I had a RB (Marcel Reese) for Oakland get me fewer points than STEVE SMITH (who is raping his way through a bye week). That's how bad my team is. I'll play in the lower league next year. 16 teams is too many, and I'm too shitty at fantasy football.

  • sloopyinca||

    16 team FFL is an endurance test. It's like the Ironman compared to a marathon and one must be strong of skill as well as will to succeed at it.

  • Brett L||

    Yeah, I guess I've only played in 8-10 team leagues where you can always pick up enough sleepers on waivers to be competitive.

  • TondoJondo||

    Sounds like a solid plan dude.

    www.Got-Privacy.com

  • Warrren||

    Is TondoJondo new? Who did he defeat?

  • SForza||

    LardoSardo has been Sardomized. Sadly, I can't remember the actual names of the two DingleBingles who preceded LardoSardo.

  • ||

    Fucking vending machine ate my money

  • General Butt Naked||

    Did you try shaking it?

  • ||

    My candy actually dropped into the receptacle properly. The problem was that there is a mini Pringles can stuck in such a manner that the door won't open. It doesn't look like it can be dislodged by hitting the machine and even if it could, I didn't want to make a scene.

    That said, I have actually gotten several free candy bars out of it in the past* so it's kind of a wash.

    *not on purpose

  • sloopyinca||

    What does the NAP say about vending machines not properly dispensing candy that was paid for? You have essentially signed a contract with the vending machine owner when you put money in. Are you not entitled to enforce that contract by force, if necessary, and bust that motherfucker open and get your Kit Kat?

  • ||

    Kit Kat was actually what I intended to buy, as it happens. I want to win a Valuable Prize.

    But they didn't have any stocked so I went for a Mallo Cup (or something) instead. Never had one before -- I was feeling dangerous!

    Also, a few months ago I tried Necco Wafers at my mother's suggestion. What. The. Fuck.

  • BakedPenguin||

    I had some Necco wafers once. ONCE.

  • Warrren||

    Somebody must be eating them. But I've never seen it happen.

  • sloopyinca||

    What the fuck is wrong with your mother, and does she hate you?

    You know what I really miss? Marathon bars.

  • ||

    I actually have a pack of Neccos sitting on my desk. The pink ones that taste like Pepto Bismol are my favorite. Come at me bros!

  • General Butt Naked||

    I want to win a Valuable Prize.

    You know that stuck candy bar is the fucking winner, don't you? You'll see the vending machine dude on teevee with a big fucking check any day now.

  • sloopyinca||

    All the more reason or him to go get a crowbar and take what he contracted to purchase.

  • ||

    What the fuck is wrong with your mother, and does she hate you?

    Well, she admitted that she just wanted to see my (predictable) reaction to eating that shit.

    You know what I really miss? Marathon bars.

    I wish they had Lion bars stateside. There are some stores with imported ones but they're stale and expensive.

  • sloopyinca||

    I wish they had Lion bars stateside.

    That looks like a Kit Kat that developed a nasty tumor.

  • ||

    Yeah, it's kind of like a combo of Kit Kat and Hundred Grand.

  • General Butt Naked||

    I just googled lion bars, and those motherfuckers look good. Damn good.

  • ||

    I know. You could almost say I lionize them.

  • SForza||

    Necco stands for New England Confectionery Company, which began in 1901, before anyone actually knew how to make good candy. They've never updated their recipe, so they're still god-awful. But hey, oldest continuous POS candy in the United States.

  • General Butt Naked||

    What does the NAP say about vending machines not properly dispensing candy that was paid for?

    Damn, totally did not see this post before making my comment below. Great minds and all that...

  • General Butt Naked||

    This actually makes for a good libertarian question. If someone or something is holding property that is rightfully yours, what immediate recourse should you have to alleviate your situation?

    I think it would be okay if you shot the machine. That mini pringles can is the same as a home invader holding a gun to your head so he can steal your teevee.

  • sloopyinca||

    I'm in agreement.

    ...and on that note, Tulpa will accuse me of being a psychopath that wants people who wash up on islands raped and murdered.

  • ||

    I dunno about whether this is a "libertarian position", but while I agree you have the right to take some steps to claim what is owed to you, proportionality comes to mind. Shooting the machine seems a bit out-of-proportion.

  • sloopyinca||

    I guess you really didn't want anyone to give you a break, did you?

  • General Butt Naked||

    Shooting the machine seems a bit out-of-proportion.

    If you act like a victim, vending machines will treat you like a victim.

  • Paul.||

    My candy actually dropped into the receptacle properly. The problem was that there is a mini Pringles can stuck in such a manner that the door won't open.

    You should get a cagey but charming Raccoon to help you get it out.

  • Emmerson Biggins||

    Why do they do NFL games in Europe? They aren't ever going to like it. Just stop.

  • sloopyinca||

    I'll never understand that. Why not go to China instead? Those guys can't get enough of American stuff while the Euros couldn't possibly care less.

  • Sevo||

    ..."while the Euros couldn't possibly care less."

    NOT true; that's the yammering class' claim. Try to get into a Mickey D's in Paris.

  • sloopyinca||

    I'm just talking American sports (or "sport" as they like to call it). They love our culture and can't get enough of it, but they will never, ever give two shits about what we do for fun.

  • Snark Plissken||

    Americans don't like hockey?

  • Atanarjuat||

    Some might, but here in north Florida we don't give two shits about hockey.

  • Finrod||

    They actually had NFL Europe for 15 years or so. They ended up disbanding it because the only place the teams thrived was in Germany-- literally, by the end 5 of the 6 teams were in Germany.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    There you have it. All tied up with a pretty pink bow.

  • Sevo||

    Is this the open thread? Sorry, no opinion on Braking Bad; haven't listened to it.
    Anyhow, the intent of rent control in San Francisco as Feinstein proposed it was to make sure 'poor' people could still live in SF, as if that was a goal worthy of anything. In fact, that lying piece of shit wouldn't admit it was simply pandering to the majority of SF voters who rent.
    So now we have the Tenants Union (who have made a career of keeping people from buying homes) supporting the oh, so poor tenants of Park Lane ("one month's rent - $10,316") to try to keep the building owner from going out of the rental business.
    It's an iron-clad bet that those folks have a house on the lake at Tahoe, one in the wine country, and prolly one in LA for the heck (mistress) of it. But, hey, that turd Ted Gullicksen might get some contributions!
    "Park Lane tenants protest conversion plans"
    http://www.sfgate.com/default/.....php#page-2

  • ||

    Ken White at Popehat: Seeking Help With A Math Problem

    Carrie wants to add 2 + 6. What number should she count on from [sic] to find the sum? Explain why.
  • Warrren||

    Goddamn I forget to go to Popehat for a few days and they go and post a freaking novel's worth of stuff.

  • SIV||

    On a Friday/Weekend to boot. I'm finally figuring out that site. Clark is a Catholic-anarchist so we're in near total agreement. Ken is really smart and funny and generally on the side of the angels but he is a total "gender-traitor". Like disgustingly so.

  • Dweebston||

    Dunno, I'm a recent follower and don't typically subscribe to the trigger-warning privilege policing blagosphurr, but I thought Ken's post about critics unduly sexualizing the targets of their ire was pretty spot-on. It's ungentlemanly and fucking needless.

  • Ken at Popehat||

    I can't tell if this is satire or sincere, and can't decide which would be funnier.

  • Sevo||

    "Carrie wants to add 2 + 6. What number should she count on from [sic] to find the sum? Explain why."

    I was unfortunate enough to have been graced with the gov't's attempt to improve science education in the wake of Sputnik (yep, I'm that old).
    The fashion had changed a couple of years earlier; we had 'educators' but no one who was familiar with certain subjects.
    Try learning factoring from a Spanish teacher who wasn't at all familiar with the concept of prime numbers.

  • sloopyinca||

    Cris Collinsworth is a fucking douchebag.

  • The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc||

    Finally, a TV show that did not reward obsessive watching by going Cleveland Browns on the fans and letting them down one last time.

  • juris imprudent||

    Let that be a lesson to all of the assholes behind Lost and BSG - this is how you close a fucking storyline.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    Carrie wants to add 2 + 6.

    Math is hard. Let's go shopping.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    Kind of Shakespearean.

    "It's a slaughterhouse. Everybody dies at the end."

  • The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc||

    The great thing was that every death was satisfying in the way it happened. Each character earned their demise in that specific way. Very poetic, really.

  • Irish||

    The instant he walked into the lab, I thought that he would leave spots of blood on some of the blue meth.

    Well, he left some blood on the boiler. I was very close. A little too on the nose, but they had to do something symbolic like that.

  • sloopyinca||

    So who is dumb enough to take the USC job and hope they survive the next two seasons? Has Greg Schiano paid his penance to the moral scolds yet? He'd be a good fit out there.

  • Warrren||

    God yes! Hopefully the Bucs fire that son of a bitch and he can find employment elsewhere.

  • sloopyinca||

    Fuck, I meant Bobby Petrino.

  • sloopyinca||

    Check out this shit.

    FTA: Many varieties of Kit Kat have existed, either permanently or as limited editions, such as those sold to commemorate festivals such as St. Valentine's Day.[citation needed] In Japan, Nestlé has introduced over 200 different flavours since 2000,[32] including ginger ale, soy sauce, creme brulee, green tea, and banana.[33] The flavours are designed to appeal to younger buyers,[34] and are often bought as good-luck gifts as the brand name echoes the Japanese phrase “Kitto Katsu”, roughly translating as “surely win.”[32]

    Fucking Japanese people are weird as shit.

  • ||

    I had an orange one in Poland.

  • sloopyinca||

    How do the Polacks keep their candy bars from melting with the wrappers on the inside?

  • ||

    I don't get it.

  • sloopyinca||

    You know it was clever.

  • ||

    No, I seriously don't get it.

  • sloopyinca||

    Next time Hugh Akston is on here, you can ask him.

  • Sevo||

    "No, I seriously don't get it."

    Open Other End.
    Got it now?

  • Warrren||

    A lot of people have had an orange one in New Jersey.

  • ||

    I consider that a foreign country. It's comforting.

  • SIV||

    Do they make an anchovy-flavored Kit-Kat? I like anchovies.

  • Paul.||

    Fuck you. Green Tea Kit Kats are awesome. My daughter brought me back some from Japan.

  • Irish||

    Homeland is an unbelievably unrealistic show, but you can tell they're trying to be realistic. This kind of annoys me.

    In this episode, they have one of those T.V. silencers that makes your gun magically go "PEW PEW PEW" and kill everybody in one shot no matter where you hit them. I don't know how they're still pretending to be serious. If you're going to be ludicrous, just go for it.

  • sloopyinca||

    You can say that again.

  • SIV||

    A suppressed .22 RF is probably the finest offensive concealable small arm on Earth. If you can make fast accurate headshots hitting the holes and soft parts that is.

  • JeremyR||

    It takes 3 shots to kill a squirrel with a .22

    Color me skeptical that they are good for killing people with.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    You, sir, are a terrible fucking shot.

  • Irish||

    Homeland is an unbelievably unrealistic show, but you can tell they're trying to be realistic. This kind of annoys me.

    In this episode, they have one of those T.V. silencers that makes your gun magically go "PEW PEW PEW" and kill everybody in one shot no matter where you hit them. I don't know how they're still pretending to be serious. If you're going to be ludicrous, just go for it.

  • Warrren||

    Ha ha! You double-tapped!

    As to dumb shows my wife insisted we watch all of Burn Notice.

    I only started watching it because of Bruce and even he wears on a person after seven seasons.

  • Irish||

    The trained CIA operative who keeps going crazy went on a crazy rant again, this time in public. You would think they'd fire her for good one of these days.

  • sloopyinca||

    Banjos tried to get me into Voyager. That counts as dumb, right?*

    *I wanted to kill Janeway ever minute she was on the screen. That show would have been great with a captain worth a fuck.

  • Irish||

    Tom Paris annoyed the hell out of me too. So did Neelix.

    That show would have been great if they replaced half of the cast.

  • sloopyinca||

    OK, Neelix was annoying as hell and Paris was a douche. But Janeway's voice just made me want to punch a disabled child in the face.

  • Irish||

    Paris was a douche. But Janeway's voice just made me want to punch a disabled child in the face.

    Imagine how bad those lizard kids that they had must have turned out.

    I've always wondered. If they could turn Janeway and Paris back to human beings, why couldn't they take the lizard babies and turn THEM back into human beings? They basically just abandoned their children to a life of slow starvation when other options were available.

  • sloopyinca||

    The Federation didn't give a flying fuck about individuals who weren't Federation officers. Hell, everybody learned than from TNG.

  • Warrren||

    I only watched a few but Neelix was the worst.

    In a table top he would have been the GM's pet NPC or the character of the self-involved drama-tard.

  • sloopyinca||

    Holy shit, did Collinsworth just comment on Talib that "when players end up in New England all of their problems go away"?

    Wow, talk about a total lack of awareness.

  • General Butt Naked||

    Any of you ever read anything about the INSLAW scandal?

    Crazy shit.

  • Incredulous||

    I watched about 8 minutes and then my head exploded.

    i think my head started expanding when Maher started bullshitting about how elections have consequences and therefore Obama should be a dictator while the House should just STFU. Hey Maher, you dipshit, House Republicans were elected too. And, by the way, Obamacare doesn't even resemble the law that was passed through bribery and abuse of senate rules. Then, my head expanded further when Maher and Reich started accusing Republicans of extortion and trying to end the government if they didn't get their way. Hey Maher and Reich, you dipshits, the House passed a fucking budget that funds everything except the bastardized illegal monstrosity of Obamacare! Then, Maher started bullshitting about how Obamacare was passed to lower the deficit (when even the CBO using the rosiest scenario admits that it raises the deficit) and my head just fucking exploded.

    So, now I'm just using my brainstem but still capable of more rational thought than everybody but Welch in the clip.

  • Finrod||

    That's about 7 more minutes than I would have lasted.

  • Dweebston||

    It's less infuriating (to my mind, anyhow) to put it in context: Maher's is a show about truthiness, not truth, and he's paid to behave as the humorous voice of reason for an audience who see reasonable opinion as a spectrum between Harry Reid and Matt Damon: see, there's room for dissent! But not too much, and not without a fair bit of concern-troll posturing and fawning over the BHO.

  • Ken at Popehat||

    Not sure if this is satire or sincerity, and can't decide which would be funnier.

  • Ken at Popehat||

    Sorry, that got left in the wrong place.

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