Clapper Gets Rappered, Plus Your Two Minutes Hate

Last night's episode of The Independents included a heartfelt plea for Director of National Intelligence James Clapper to be treated at least as seriously a perjury-prosecution candidate as famous baseball players:

And Bernie Maxsmith was back, delivering your best insults in Two Minutes Hate:

No show tonight; make sure to tune into the same time slot for John Stossel's special on gambling hypocrisy.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

I was really hoping to be known for my two minutes of love.

[Hugh Akston]

Well keep working at it and you'll make it to two minutes someday.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Congratulations. You took my joke and made it even less subtle.

[Loki]

This is H&R. Subtlety has no place here.

[Sudden]

Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven

[Fist of Etiquette]

You get credit for one FotC reference.

[Soros' Wank-noose]

He just wants to do somethin' special for all the ladies in the world.

[Swiss Servator, mehr Spr?ngli]

It's business.
It's business time.
Oh.
Ooh, makin' love.
Makin' love for...
Makin' love for two...
Makin' love for two...minutes.
When it's with me, girl, you only need two minutes, because I'm so intense. You say something like, "Is that it?" I know what you're trying to say. You're trying to say, "Aww yeah, that's it." Then you tell me you want some more. Well, I'm not surprised. But I'm quite sleepy.

It's business.
It's business time.
Business hours are over, baby.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

It must be fun being Fox's HR director, handling all those...colorful personalities.

[Carl the Jarl]

It would be really fun if they had a casting couch.

TIWTANWL

[Notorious G.K.C.]

"Here are some examples of harassment that you could get fired for committing. I need a volunteer from the audience...."

/not Bernie Maxsmith, he's too professional

[Sudden]

I can see the microaggression and othering of Kmele you are doing. Your subtle racism is evidence of your privilege.

[seguin]

Bernie Maxsmith, the Angel of Death.

Or the Grim Reader, take your pick.

[widget]

A beige suit with a red tie?

Welch, you're hopeless, but I already knew that.

[Jeff P.]

So much swearing, brute nerdity and sexual belittlement that I had a Grylliade flashback...

[Warty]

Someday you will quote one of my insults on your show, and then you'll get sued for it. It is inevitable.

[BakedPenguin]

Alright, my rudeness and hateful personality have finally been rewarded!

[waffles]

The two minutes hate is the only part of the show I've ever seen. Is the rest worth a damn? Didn't think so/

[Knutsack]

I once knew a waffles that was a runner.

[mr simple]

That's such classic Gilmore.

[Loki]

Does Barry Manilow know that Bernie Maxsmith raids his wardrobe?

[Almanian!]

That was some quality hate, Reasonoids. QUALITY. It makes me proud to comment on the same blog. It's like peeing in the same urinal. Or something.

[Soros' Wank-noose]

I find it interesting that Matt didn't wear his Brach's Neapolitan candy get-up when Bernie was on.

I wonder if, in a scenario where he did wear it, Bernie would have made Matt report to HR after the show for some, uh, "discipline". That seems entirely possible, given Maxsmith's steely vibe when he's on.

[BigT]

It is a bad omen that all the hate is coming from H&R. Is there no one else watching? Will the Independents be sent to the dustbin of TV history?

Stay tuned.