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Politics

Klingons No Longer Represented on Indian Trails, North Carolina City Council

Nick Gillespie | 1.3.2014 2:24 PM

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So a councilman in Indian Trail, North Carolina decided to resign in protest to what he viewed as "runaway development."

Oh, yeah, he tendered his resignation in Klingon:

Waddell says he wrote the note in Klingon as "an inside joke," but, reports the Charlotte Observer, Mayor Michael Alvarez

called the letter childish and unprofessional. "It's an embarrassment for Indian Trail, and it's an embarrassment for North Carolina," he said.

Which is like a totally Vulcan thing to say, isn't it?

Full, sad story here.

Hat tip: Mike Hewlett's Twitter feed.

Seems like a good cue for this, the worst fight scene ever (Kirk and Gorn vs. the Audience):

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Nick Gillespie is an editor at large at Reason and host of The Reason Interview With Nick Gillespie.

PoliticsCivil LibertiesCultureScience & Technology
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  1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

    Worst fight scene? Ha! See how well you do fighting a giant lizard man.

    Giant Lizard Man,
    Giant Lizard Man,
    They've given you a translator and
    Taken away your ship.

  2. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    Mayor Michael Alvarez called the letter childish and unprofessional. "It's an embarrassment for Indian Trail, and it's an embarrassment for North Carolina," he said.

    Okay, Prissypants.

  3. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

    You know, Klingon lettering looks a little like katakana.

    1. SugarFree   11 years ago

      Klingon is the Comic Sans of galactic written languages.

      1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

        Today is a good day to type.

        1. SugarFree   11 years ago

          And to make signs for the sneezeguards on the salad bars of our enemies.

          1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

            Klingon military typography is well in advance of that of any other species in the galaxy.

            1. SugarFree   11 years ago

              Articles of speech are for lesser races.

              1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                As are conjunctions, which are dishonorable.

                1. Warty   11 years ago

                  There is nothing shameful in being corrected by a superior grammarian.

                  1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                    Yours is the superior. . .pedantry.

                    1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

                      He is intelligent, but not experienced. His pattern indicates two prepositional thinking.

              2. JW   11 years ago

                Pah! There is no honor is your conjugations!

                1. JW   11 years ago

                  Goddamn it ProL.

                  1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                    Set phasers to conjugate.

                    1. Warty   11 years ago

                      If you are afraid to fuck up a link, you have already fucked up a link.

                    2. JW   11 years ago

                      Inform the Klingons that we're on a mission from God.

                    3. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                      Are you postulating a Blues Brothers/Star Trek mashup? With Kirk and Spock on a mission from God on an Earth-parallel world with Illinois Nazis, the blues, and a world that looks exactly the same as 1970s Chicago?

                    4. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

                      We could always steal this for an episode of ST: TOC. And with a special guest star!

                    5. Kid Xenocles   11 years ago

                      "an episode of ST: TOC"

                      The Orange County?

                    6. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

                      The Odd Couple.

                    7. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                      You know, Kirk and Khan, trapped in 1970s New York, forced to live together. It's been mentioned in Variety.

                    8. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

                      But they aren't so trapped that they couldn't catch a bus to Chicago to help out a stranded Spock who somehow makes it back to the future at the end of the episode without being able to bring them back too. Or maybe they hitchhike with hippies instead of catching a bus.

                    9. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                      Definitely a two-part cliffhanger.

                    10. JW   11 years ago

                      I can think of no better movie now, or for the rest of human history.

                      Besides, Belushi already played Kirk on SNL, so it shoud be a snap for him.

                    11. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                      There is a slight parallel here--Elwood/Spock, Kirk/Jake. "How much for your space women?"

                    12. JW   11 years ago

                      "We're putting the bridge back together."

                    13. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                      Who is the Penguin, though? T'Pau?

                    14. SugarFree   11 years ago

                      You have brought dishonor upon the syntax of your ancestors. May your cadences never be heard in halls of Klingon Academy of Dreary Poetry again.

                    15. JW   11 years ago

                      Your uumlats are weak and kitten-like.

                    16. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                      You dare be diacritical?

                    17. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

                      If you were any other man, I would flame you where you stand.

  4. Hugh Akston   11 years ago

    Nick, hating on TOS is a dangerous occupation round these parts. But it has earned you a special place in my heart. DS9 4eva!

    1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

      I loved DS9, but come on--you think Sisko would've known how to build a bamboo cannon?

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        A structurally unstable cannon which was more of a danger to the operator than the target? Not the best thing to point to.

        1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

          It worked, didn't it? And don't give me Mythbusters, because they were using Earth bamboo, not artificially constructed-so-Kirk-could-build-a-cannon bamboo.

          1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

            So a leap of faith that "oh this must be a gift from the superadvanced aliens ant not schmuck bait" is a postive mark?

            1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

              Well, they told him and the Gorn that they could make weapons. And they left everything sitting out, too.

              1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

                For the record, I haven't watched any episodes since I was a small child, so all of my arguments are for the sake of trolling.

                1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                  I suggest you go watch the episode. Study it. Make it your own. Then produce a fan video making it into a romantic comedy.

                  1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

                    Or I could do something more productive with my time, like work on my writing. That I can actually monetize.

                    1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                      According to my boys, there is no career more financially rewarding that posting videos on YouTube.

                    2. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                      Than posting, I mean.

                    3. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

                      And you'd want me stealing their audience if they're making so much off of it?

                    4. SugarFree   11 years ago

                      Writing? Gorn/Kirk fic has some real money it. As Kirk learned, once you go cloaca you don't go a-back-a.

                    5. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

                      I don't do derivitive works.

                    6. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                      You know, the Gorn wasn't ever identified as male. Yeah, the translated voice sounded kind of raspy dude-ish, but maybe the Gorn smoked and batted for the other team. It's not like Kirk couldn't convert a lesbian lizard.

            2. Kid Xenocles   11 years ago

              If he didn't try something crazy the Gorn would have overpowered him. Kirk couldn't match him with a melee weapon.

              1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                I dunno, the Gorn was kind of sluggish in that lizard suit.

                1. Kid Xenocles   11 years ago

                  Kirk's diamond cannon only knocked the Gorn down. It doesn't matter how fast you can punch if your blows don't hurt the guy.

                  1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                    I was thinking stabbing. You know, with a spear.

                    1. Kid Xenocles   11 years ago

                      Can you stab harder than a bullet? I know there are a lot of variables here, but I can't fault him for seeking a stand-off weapon even if it was unlikely. If it failed he could have just ran away and put something else together.

                    2. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                      With superior agility and given the difficulty of building a cannon from scratch, not to mention the lack of food and water. . .yeah, I'm stabbing the lizard with a diamond-tipped spear.

                    3. Kid Xenocles   11 years ago

                      You're going to stab this? I mean, look at the effect of the gun blast. The Gorn looks stunned more than anything; you can see one of the bullets sticking halfway out if its arm.

                    4. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                      What do you expect from a bamboo cannon?

                    5. Kid Xenocles   11 years ago

                      Do you think you can stab harder than that? Because I don't. That's my point.

              2. Azathoth!!   11 years ago

                What's really sad is that the Gorn had folks watching him, too--from his ship. The Gorn had their own space empire of sorts--and yet, when push came to shove he opted to just go all dinosaury.

                1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                  Someone should shoot a fan film of that episode from the Gorn perspective.

                  1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

                    I suppose Kirk would be portrayed as a cheater for his move at the end.

      2. SugarFree   11 years ago

        Sisko prefers a Colt Python, but like a space version or something.

        1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

          What is this, some sort of horse-snake hybrid?

          1. SugarFree   11 years ago

            The Greeks called it a Hippohiss.

            1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

              Not Hippothon?

              1. Warty   11 years ago

                No, you idiot, that's what Epi's mom's gangbang series is called.

                1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                  I thought that was Hippopotass.

        2. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   11 years ago

          Sisko prefers a Colt Python Malt Liquor, but like a space version or something.

          The Galaxy's Finest Malt Beverage.

          1. Francisco d Anconia   11 years ago

            Racist!

          2. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

            SynthaColt.

      3. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

        Sisko probably would have have just beat him up with a baseball bat.

      4. Kid Xenocles   11 years ago

        He built a space sailboat, so probably.

        1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

          Which went at warp speed.

          1. Kid Xenocles   11 years ago

            I know, right? He also punched Q.

            1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

              Hard not to like DS9 right there.

              1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

                Sisko had no qualms about standing up to omnipotent aliens.

    2. MasterDarque   11 years ago

      DS9 was the best of Treks, followed by Voyager/STNG

  5. Almanian!   11 years ago

    derp

  6. Rich   11 years ago

    Mayor Bill de Blasio shovels his sidewalk

    What a nice progressive father!

    1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      It's a photo op moment. NYC pols will do a lot of things for a few minutes while the flashbulbs go off, then wander off again.

    2. Jerry on the boat   11 years ago

      Why does De Blasio take away jobs from hardworking sanitation department workers?

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        If you can find one, I'd love to meet them.

        1. Cdr Lytton   11 years ago

          Try the afternoon prayer meeting with their chaplain?

  7. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

    worst fight scene ever (Kirk and Gorn vs. the Audience)

    Fuck you.

  8. MP   11 years ago

    Well, if you're going to show the worst fight scene ever, might as well show the best, too.

    1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

      Lies. That was not Gymkata!

    2. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

      Believe it or not, people were belittling the talents of Carpenter. Not his later stuff, the good stuff. Here, on this very blog comments section.

      1. JW   11 years ago

        Someone dares to insult Kah'penter? Who are these traitorous cowards!? Whose house do they fight for? Tell me now so that I may gut them in two with my bat'leth!

        1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

          Surprised Carpenter never got asked to do a Star Trek movie, now that you mention it. Escape from Romulus or maybe Big Trouble in Little Vulcan.

          1. JW   11 years ago

            They No Longer Live would be a big hit on Kronos.

            1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

              With a longer fight scene. "I have come here to chew gagh and kick ass, and I'm all out of gagh."

              1. JW   11 years ago

                PUT ON THE VISOR!

                He'd see the signs all over the place:

                THINK
                DO NOT OBEY
                PET THE KITTY

            2. SugarFree   11 years ago

              Assault on Outpost 13

              1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                Village of the Dishonored.

                1. JW   11 years ago

                  Cranial Ridges of Laura Mars
                  Starman Dies!

                  Oddly, Dark Star would be unchanged.

                  1. SugarFree   11 years ago

                    Only it would be a giant tribble and a photon missile instead.

                    1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                      This gives me another mash-up idea: Tribbles vs. Ewoks. Tribbles win, of course, by fucking the Ewoks to death.

  9. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   11 years ago

    Why didn't the Gorn just use the lightsaber he visibly had on his belt?

    1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

      Kirk distracted him using Jedi mind-melding techniques he learned from Dr. Spock's famous baby book.

    2. SugarFree   11 years ago

      Lightsaber? Is that from a movie or something?

    3. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      He used to have four arms... Then he learned not to turn that thing on.

    4. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

      THAT WAS A UNIVERSAL TRANSLATOR!!!!!

      1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

        Is that what Trekkies call lightsabers?

        1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

          In pieces, all species are equal.

          1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

            Did Yoda say that?

            1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

              I just can't imagine in in the Frank Oz voice, so probably not.

              1. SugarFree   11 years ago

                In Frank Oz voice, I can imagine it not.

            2. Restoras   11 years ago

              No, if Yoda said it the quote would be "In pieces are equal all species".

  10. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   11 years ago

    Also that was hardly the worst fight scene Shatner has ever filmed. Ahem...

  11. Raston Bot   11 years ago

    In the director's cut, it's explained in painful detail that the Gorn was female, could not understand the alien overlord's instructions, and thought Kirk was trying to make awkward human love to her.

    1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

      That's ludicrous, because, if true, Kirk would've had sex with the Gorn to win. Then he would've slugged it.

  12. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Dorks. You're all a bunch of dorks.

    1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      And your point is?

    2. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

      ^this^ to the nth power

    3. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   11 years ago

      NERDS!!!!

  13. John C. Randolph   11 years ago

    a totally Vulcan thing to say, isn't it?

    Embarrassment is an emotion.

    -jcr

  14. Sevo   11 years ago

    Guys,
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaB_G1WNT70

  15. CapitalistRunningDog   11 years ago

    A true Klingon would have defeated the rest of the council in ritualized combat! (Unless he was an Original Series Klingon, then he would have poisoned them.)

    1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

      The problem with honor duels is that both sides have to have honor. We'd just shoot the Klingon.

      1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

        You don't need honor when you have a PhD in archeology.

        1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

          That's what the Klingons really meant by honor--terminal degrees. People just didn't understand that. They are really just grumpy academics.

  16. Ted S.   11 years ago

    He should have ended the resignation letter with, "Shaka, and the walls fell."

  17. 0x90   11 years ago

    Gorn

    It's got a sort of woody quality about it.

  18. JuiceHog   11 years ago

    Because he's in love:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HU2ftCitvyQ

  19. thorax232   11 years ago

    ...lol?

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