Ted Cruz

Watch Matt Welch on Real Time with Bill Maher Tonight at 10 ET!


Don't look now, but, well, look later tonight on HBO as I join fellow co-panelists Robert Reich and Monica Mehta, as well as actorvist Tim Robbins and neuro-pharmacologist Carl Hart, to talk current events on Real Time with Bill Maher. Among the topics in play: Ted Cruz, government shut-downery, Obamacare, debt limits, income inequality, the Nairobi mall massacre, drugs, and the NSA. Should be a hoot; make sure to make disparaging comments about my physical appearance in this comments string.

Great moments in Reason people on Bill Maher: Nick Gillespie makes Rachel Maddow sad.

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  1. No beard, no dice.

  2. Bill Maher, Robert Reich, and Tim Robbins in the same room? Better bring a gas mask Matt so you don’t suffocate from all the smug in that studio.

    1. Lack of oxygen will be the prominent concern. Ahh, but alas.. the EPA has the right to regulate those three, now….

  3. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have the interpersonal skills necessary to be in the same room with some of those people (assuming interpersonal skills are what keeps you from slipping into a mode of wanting to do bodily harm to someone).

    1. You don’t need skills, you need whiskey, or tequila if you’re in the mood for fighting. I hope Matt slams a few double shots back before he goes in there and gets America on their asses. Get some shit on your boots, Welch! This opportunity may never come back to play out again.

      1. “…Welch! This opportunity may never come back to play out again.”

        If he doesn’t just sit there quietly, nodding his head and smiling every time the tame chimps in the audience laugh and clap, he won’t be invited back…

        1. Better to make a memorable impression than to work towards getting invited back, IMO.

  4. actorvist

    What did we ever do to you, Matt?

    1. I suspect the squirrels keep dropping the *h* off that term, every time he types it…

  5. God I don’t know if I’ll be able to watch it with Reich and Robbins. I mean sometimes Bill Maher is actually funny and the show is worth a watch, but then there are the shows where the stupid is so thick that it’s completely unwatchable.

  6. I bet Suderman is jealous. It would be a perfect opportunity for him to pretend he’s a libertarian and bash those meany tea-baggin’ Rethuglicans.

  7. Matt, you are appearing with certifiable cretins. If I were to see them, I would projectile vomit all over my tv.

    1. No kidding. Maher by himself can create poisonous levels of idiocy and smug; can’t even begin to imagine where those levels would go once those Stooges start playing off each other.

  8. Maher, Robbins, and Reich?

    Why the fuck are you even bothering, Welch?

    1. Because they figure that extra strength circle-jerk of smug/douche stupid will clip his and cool his jets…

  9. Good luck, Matt. I’m hoping you crush Reich so thoroughly that he won’t get his contract renewed by the Lollipop Guild.

  10. You couldn’t pay me in orphan children to work my paladium mines to watch that Matt.

    Oh, who am I kidding, I’ll watch it after you post the video on HyR.

  11. I am sure the Peanut Gallery would be more comfortable yucking it up on the Mike Huckabee Show.

    1. Reality: no one here watches Huckabee except to ridicule. This is obvious to anyone who reads this blog. Huckabee is social con. Social cons are generally treated with contempt here.

      Conclusion from above dumbass? We’d all rather watch Huckabee.

      Reasoning? Because…we don’t…care for…Reich, Robbins, etc… Huh?

      What’s it like to be so fucking stupid you have to remind yourself to breathe?

      Enough with the reminders.

      1. Don’t bother. If PB’s intelligence doubled, it would still be stupid. It’s not worth the effort.

      2. But you have to be an idiot SoCon to win the GOP nomination for President.

        1. Which is why moderates like Romney and McCain won the last two nominations.

          Einstein nailed it when he said “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

          You have no limits. That’s for darn sure.

          1. Both McCain and Romney are SoCons – solidly anti-choice, anti-contraception, anti-gay, and anti-drug.

            1. You know, I keep thinking Shreek here can’t say anything more stupid than he has before, then he outdoes himself.

    2. I am sure shriek would be more comfortable yucking it up at his favorite Team Blue glory hole.

  12. One thing I’ve got to give Madcow credit for. She’s quite adept at spinning fallacious arguments from false premises. She can also take down straw men like nobody’s business. Never really seen her move the goalposts much, but that’s because she usually controls the narrative by rarely allowing herself to debate someone competent like Nick.

    1. The amount of butthurt she displayed when Jon Stewart dared to suggest that she was a media partisan and not a journalist was delicious. It showed just how self-deluded she really is.

      1. Leftists are willfully self-deluded. I mean, look at all the contradictory premises they keep in their heads.

        Not taking is giving.

        Not giving is taking.

        Money is wealth and wealth is money.

        Government is us.

        But government is controlled by the corporations, so government needs more power so it can control the corporations that control it (us) so the people can control the corporations that control the government that is us.

        It’s enough to make your head explode.

    2. Yes, I remember the dumb twat’s summation of a Republican budget, which cut Obama’s budget by something like 10% (Massive cuts! Children will starve!):

      “Republicans think that the main problem with America is that the rich don’t have enough money.”

      That passes for analysis and argument.

      Is it my imagination, or is Madcow on Maher every third fucking show now? What gives? He couldn’t be trying to get in her pants. He already has a penis.

      1. She appeals to whiny, effeminate, emo beta drones, not unlike Maher himself… like free range, fair-trade, holistic shit flavored Scooby snacks…

      2. He couldn’t be trying to get in her pants. He already has a penis.

        He much know that her koochie has teeth and would bite him off at the balls.

  13. Nick, I listened to Penn Jillette talking about his experience on Bill Maher. He was sitting on the stage, looking around, trying to figure out who the token ‘nutjob’ was- as the format of Bill Maher is to have a group of Bill’s friends, with a token right-wing racist nutjob. Jilette continued to look around and finally leaned over and asked Maher “Who’s the nutjob on tonight’s panel?”. Maher just looked at him and smiled and said, “If you have to ask…”

    So, who’s the token Nut Job on tonight’s show?

    1. Shit, Matt, I meant Matt. I saw the picture of Nick and I got all dreamy.

    2. Oh libertarians and their na?ve belief that the left doesn’t think they are nutjobs.

      Newsflash: People who think that John Boehner is an anarchist whose budgets cuts will cause the skies to become permanent night with no ozone layer and acid rain, slavery to be restored, old people and children to die in the streets and society to collapse into Hobbesian primitive anarchy are not going to like libertarians who think the same John Boehner is a statist.

      1. Why are you so angry? Maddow and Maher aren’t partisan. He agrees with some Republicans from 20 years ago. He didn’t change. They changed.

        And if we truly punished failure then Maher would presently be homeless…

  14. Every time I want to respect Maher, I just end up getting more pissed of at him.

    “We we do in America is punish failure. Solyndra, same idea. Not every idea bears fruition right away…”

    If 22 of us are screaming at the top of our lungs that Solyndra and every idea like it is a really fucking bad idea (and unconstitutional) and it fails spectacularly, yes, I’m going to punish it, and punish it hard.

    This wasn’t some surprise that jumped up and bit us. this was written on every proverbial wall we walked by on the way to Solyndra (and every last project like it) and yet the Government doesn’t listen.

    Fast and Furious was a bad idea, it had no constitutional authority, it had no place in our government and on top of that, it failed and failed spectacularly. Don’t just punish it, punish it with fire.

    1. You don’t understand! Freedom means being insulated from failure! You’re supposed to reap the rewards of getting things right while never losing for getting things wrong! Profit without loss! How does this happen? With government! Government is magic!

      1. Like one big orange participation ribbon, for even the most egregious fuck-ups…

        1. As long as you ask permission and take orders, you never face any consequences for your actions, since everything you do is either with the permission or at the behest of authority.

          That is freedom. Er, I mean slavery. I mean freedom is slavery.

          1. We shouldn’t punish slavery. Not every idea bears fruition (whatever that means) right away.

            1. (whatever that means)

              It means that when intentions and results don’t match up, that we just need to try harder and longer with the right people in charge.

            2. I wonder what his position on, say… Wall st. bail-outs were, speaking of punishing failure…

              1. IF he’s like every progressive, then TARP was an absolutely positively necessary evil to stop the zombie apocalypse.

              2. Or Detroit…

            3. You should see the interiorr of the Solyndra building. Lovely Marble floors. Beautiful lighting. Lots and Lots of windows. Air handlers sufficient to blow dry Maher’s hair. Massive, massive waste of my money.

              1. Did you pull something off the wall and take it home when you were there? I would have.

                1. Marble is heavy and I didn’t have the proper tools anyway. My industry actually makes money. 🙂

    2. Maher does seem to put Reason editors on his show.

  15. Here’s a little ammo to use against Reich from ZH:

    It is ironic that nearly five years ago, we first posited that the only result QE would achieve as a result of reflating asset prices to astronomical levels, while transferring (in)finite wealth from the middle class to the 0.1%, would be an inevitable tear in the social fabric resulting, eventually, in outright conflict and/or war (and, ultimately, hyperinflation because the Fed will stop at nothing to reflate the debt, especially in a rising rate environment – even paradropping money from helicopters, something even Deutsche Bank agrees with now). Back then everyone called this (as so often happens) a naive conspiracy theory. Now, even respected strategists are starting to see things our way.


    Ask why we should even bother taxing the rich, or fining JP Morgan, if we are just going to allow them to reinflate their assets at the Fed?

    And, of course, you know he’s going to talk about “infrastructure”. Ask him how long it takes to draw up plans, consult all of the local, state and federal regulations, and get all of the approvals before they can even break ground. And BTW, Colorado has already raised the money to repair their dams and bridges, and this is exactly why they haven’t been repaired, yet. They can’t get out of the planning stage they started over 2 years ago.

    1. Bring a hammer with you and give it to him and tell him to go break some windows.

  16. Welch better not be a pussy like he was on MSNBC. It’s not like Maher’s going to be reasonable in the least.

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