Bear Grylls Investigated Over Water Slide


This looks like a job for… local government!
Credit: Bear Grylls

Even the seclusion of his private island cannot protect Bear Grylls from the reach of local government. The outdoorsman and television personality is under investigation after installing a water slide on his property.

Grylls recently tweeted:

"New slide attached at home on our island! You hit the water very fast!!!!"

The link showed an image of a steep metal slide that plunges into the Irish Sea.

Authorities of Gwenydd, the jurisdiction in which Grylls' island is located, were alerted by the Man vs. Wild host's tweet and questioned if he may have violated some local code. A spokesman for the Gwenydd Council confirmed to The Independent, "Officers from the Council's Planning Service are investigating this case and will be discussing the matter with the site owner."

The spokesman admitted that the local council does not actually know whether or not installing the water slide would have required any governmental oversight, but they "are still looking" through the codes.

According to The Independent, one elected official questioned the impact the slide would have on the aesthetics of the area."I don't believe you should be allowed to erect a slide in an area of outstanding natural beauty such as St Tudwal's Island before going through correct procedures," said Wyn Williams, the councillor of the region. He also expressed concerns over the slide's safety. "As far as I'm aware, he uses it about two-to-four hours a day and it's used by the family itself. When the tide is in, that's not too bad. When the tide is out, there's quite a lot of rocks."

Reportedly, Grylls paid £95,000 ($147,886) for the stony 20-acre island. He and his family are its only inhabitants. 

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  1. The spokesman admitted that the local council does not actually know whether or not installing the water slide would have required any governmental oversight, but they “are still looking” through the codes

    IOW, someone has a jealous and must try to use the power of government to punish someone who has something they wish they had, but don’t.

    1. I’m sure they’ll find something.

      1. Somewhere, Les Stroud is laughing maniacally from a pay phone, while Grylls is desperately trying to explain he was just tilting the camera to make it look steeper than it really is.

        1. Funny scene, though I expect Stroud is more likely writing a song about it next to a campfire and asking if anyone brought chocolate.

          1. and an empty pringles can.

  2. Is drinking your own piss a requirement before sliding down it? Or do they piss on it it make it wet before you slide down it?

    1. Is drinking your own piss a requirement before sliding down it?

      No, you must drink elephant shit juice…

      1. Can’t you just eat some juicy grubs first?

        I’m not hanging out with this bear dude, I don’t care how cool his slide is.

    2. Pft, his love of a Ke$ha refresher is so tame.

      Look upon him and despair.

      1. Ack. Urp. I enjoyed Stroud’s Survivorman, but Gryll’s Man vs Wild turned me off waaay before this kind of… Sorry, “crap” is far too mild a word.

  3. That’s a pretty cheap island

    1. Was thinking the same thing. Maybe it’s so cheap because the landowner isn’t allowed to do anything with it. Like put in a slide.

      1. Nah, it’s because it’s in the fucking Irish sea. Not exactly the Caribbean.

    2. Xactly!

    1. Ewww…..

  4. The scale and pointedness of the petty tyranny Limey authorities are known for is simply unmatched in the civilized world.

    1. I dunno – a lotta places in the US trying to catch up.

      “We never shoulda broken up with them – let’s turn ourselves back into Britain!”

      1. Oh, there certainly are places in the United States that are God-awful with this sort of shit, but Britland’s just leaps and bounds ahead.

        God save the Queen, I guess.

  5. Fuck Great Britain.

    1. We need to be more like Europe.

      1. Nature should never be preserved. There are slides to be built. Yellowstone could use a strip mall or two for that matter.

        1. Bear Grylls owns Yellowstone too?

          1. And Yosemite! In fact, I saw him on his own personal rollercoaster in Kings Canyon.

        2. If they wanted to ‘preserve nature’ then maybe the fucking Nannies should have bought the fucking place so they could fucking make sure it was managed according to the will of the Mass. Instead, soneone else owns it, its none of their fucking business, so they and you can fuck off and choke on your own rectitudinal vomit.

          1. What he said.

  6. He owns his own island? That is getting close to bond villain territory.

    1. Private Islands Online

      Cheapest one is in Nova Scotia, $30K.

      1. What is the cheapest one warm enough for palm trees?

        1. $600K by my searching.

          1. 100 grand an acre. And ten foot elevations? That ain’t much in a hurricane.

            1. May I suggest a luxury submarine?

          2. the island was once home to an old cottage

            Which I’m sure was completely destroyed by some hurricane.

            Looks like a friggin’ death trap to me. Nice to visit, but…

            1. If you don’t want it, I’ll take it. I bet I could build a hurricane-proof house. If you don’t plan on adding too much more infrastructure, it would be great.

              1. lol, good luck with that. The island is just a big sandbar and hurricanes have been known to just erase sandbars. Sure, you could build something that could resist the winds of most hurricanes but you aren’t going to build a foundation that is strong enough to stabilize the sand in the face of major wave action for any reasonable amount of money.

                1. Spending an unreasonable amount of money on a feat of engineering to live in a secluded home far away from people sounds like a great problem to have.

                  1. agreed…no people but yourself sounds amazing….can i leave my wife on the main land?

          3. The more I think about it, the best bet would be a good solid mooring and a nice comfy ship that could be sailed out of the way of hurricanes.

      2. You’d still need a boat.

        1. “We’re gonna need a bigger boat…”

    2. The big problem with private islands is water. As in, drinking water. As in, where are you going to get it, and do you know how expensive that is?

      1. You get water from the hurricane, obviously.

      2. Good God, man! That’s what the GOVERNMENT is for!


      3. not just water, but pretty much everything has to be shipped inat exorbitant cost.

      4. This isn’t a tropical island. Rainwater retention probably will have you sorted, at least mostly.

  7. Thankfully there’s only 1 week of his stupid reality game show left.

  8. That slide doesn’t look like a job for local government, but at low tide, it might be a good way to dispose of one.

  9. upto I saw the check saying $7450, I didnt believe that…my… brothers friend was like realey bringing in money parttime online.. there sisters roommate has been doing this for under 23 months and resantly repayed the mortgage on their place and bourt themselves a BMW. this is where I went

  10. “As far as I’m aware, he uses it about two-to-four hours a day and it’s used by the family itself. When the tide is in, that’s not too bad. When the tide is out, there’s quite a lot of rocks.”

    I’m going to take a wild guess and say that they (like most people with a brain) probably don’t use the slide when the rocks are visible because most people don’t want to be impaled on big pointy rocks. That sort of thing tends to take a lot of the fun out of water slides.

    1. Most people with a brain probably wouldn’t point a slide over pointy rocks in the first place. If it’s exposed in low-tide, it can probably still fuck you up in high-tide.

      1. Well the government still cant risk the possibility that some people might have brains. That would be unfair to the nation of retards they’ve fostered.

    2. but how can they be sure unless the government intervenes?

      also, the fact that government-man so factually asserts that said minor celebrity spends *two to four hours* a day on a *fucking waterslide* is painfully absurd. i assume he got his data from the Ministry of Waterslide Behavioral Analysis, Department of Crap Celebrities Statistical Division.

      1. It’s over some rocks because Grylls needs to risk his life at least once per day when he’s home, or he’s just out of sorts.

        Interesting that Grylls is his real last name. “Bear” is just a nickname, though.

  11. Glad to see the US is not the only country that governmetns stick their big noses where they have no business.

    1. This bot gets it!

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