What P.O.S. Politician is Complaining About Public Urination, Fare Jumpers, and the Kids These Days?

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What P.O.S. politician said the following during a bitch session about the kids these days?

"It is not acceptable to equate vulgarity with modernity, sloppiness and negligence with progress…. Living in society entails, in the first place, accepting rules that preserve respect for decency and the rights of others."

Other horrible, horrible displays include:

— Graffiti and vandalizing of parks, monuments, trees and gardens.

— Loud music that disturbs neighbors' sleep.

— Fare evasion on public transportation.

— Children throwing rocks at cars and trains.

Hmm… who could it be?

Hint: It's probably not who you think it is.

The answer is after the jump:

It's the totalitarian world's answer to Keith Hefner: Raul Castro.

According to the AP, the 82-year-old wheezed

"All this takes place right in front of our noses without inciting public condemnation and confrontation," Castro said.

To his credit (I guess), Raul Castro also denounced official corruption (less money for the Castros) and dinged the continuing use of Cuban pesos, which are worth less but more abundant than toilet paper in the island prison.

More here.

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    1. The difference is that Castro isn’t a total dictator.

    2. Honestly, my first guess what Christie, then Bloomberg. Sad state of affairs I suppose.

    3. Bloomberg may not have said it, but you know he thinks it.

    4. I guessed my mother.

  1. Hey! Get off of what was at one time a lawn!

  2. I’m…confused. Are these really such awful things to say? Fare evasion and vandalism are bad. Politeness is good. Not feeling outraged.

    1. That’s just because you’re not a cosmotarian. See to us, vulgarity is modernity, sloppiness and negligence are progress.

      We need to stand up for our rights to vandalize parks, throw rocks at cars, and defecate on public transit after not paying the fare. It’s the very essence of freedom!

      1. defecate on public transit after not paying the fare.

        Never eat from the lobster roll food truck on Mondays.

      2. Vulgarity in the pursuit of sloppiness is no vice.

      3. Wasn’t there a big argument about vandalism last week? A bunch of people thought it wasn’t vandalism if you can just wash the chalk off.

        1. And a lot more people said it wasn’t vandalism that affected the banks property since they don’t own the sidewalks.

          1. And that it should be a civil offense, not a criminal one. Damn you no edit button.

        2. Yup, and a bunch of other people thought 13 years in jail for writing on a wall in a water-soluble medium seemed legit.

          1. I didn’t partake, but I didn’t see anyone say that besides strawmen. I did see people say that since it was in chalk it was fine.

    2. I don’t get the knotted thong here, either. That it’s Castro making the observation doesn’t make him wrong on everything.

  3. “dinged the continuing use of Cuban pesos, which are worth less but more abundant than toilet paper in the island prison.”

    I hear Zimbabweans won’t take them in change.

      1. ^That made me laugh so hard that it hurts. Well done.

  4. Living in society entails, in the first place, accepting rules that preserve respect for decency and the rights of others.

    If Bloomberg did not say this, I’m sure he wishes he had.

    1. What exactly is wrong with it? Spend a little time in Detroit, and you’ll see what he means.

  5. Fare evasion and vandalism are bad.

    OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

  6. “All this takes place right in front of our noses without inciting public condemnation and confrontation,”

    Is this a call for Taliban-style guardians of public morality?

    1. Maybe more of a group of Christian “white knights”. Like the group who used to supervise school dances and enforce sex-segregated bathing at the swimming hole. Good, wholesome, Christian thugs. Maybe if they wore all white to show their purity…

        1. Well, they could be Catholic. Kind of a radical Knights of Columbus organization.

      1. Raul Castro just wants you to leave room for the Holy Spirit when you’re dancing, Brett — can’t you do him that small favor?

  7. Seriously though, I bet Bloomberg and Castro have frequent lunch dates.

    1. Castro’s gotta learn that crap from somewhere.

  8. Also annoying, the kids cruising the beach in their ’57 Chevys.

  9. I would hope Gary Johnson and the LP leadership stands behind these remarks. From other political parties, these are faux beliefs and sham words designed to get votes and are forgotten ten seconds after the lever is pulled.

    1. I could live on the crumbs he leaves behind.

      1. Use the MAC system.

    2. I liked him in O Brother, Where Art Thou.

      1. Well, as soon as we get ourselves cleaned up and we get a little smellum in our hair, why, we’re gonna feel 100% better about ourselves and about life in general.

        1. Damn! We’re in a tight spot!

        2. Damn! We’re in a tight spot!

        3. Jacking up banks. I can see how a fella’d derive a whole lot of pleasure and satisfaction out of it.

          1. Almost makes me wish I hadn’ta been saved

            1. Well, sir, I’m Jordan Rivers, and these are the Soggy Bottom Boys,
              out of Cottonillia, Mississippi.
              Songs of salvation to salve the soul.
              Uh, we hear that you pay good money to sing into a can.

              Well, that all depends. You boys do Negro songs?

              Um… Well, uh, sir, we are Negroes.
              All except for our accomp… accomp… the fella that plays the guitar.

              Yeah, well, I don’t record Negro songs. No, I’m lookin’ for some old-timey material. People can’t seem to get enough since we started broadcasting it on the Pappy O’Daniel Flour Hour, so thank you for stopping by, but…

              Sir, the Soggy Bottom Boys have been steeped in old-timey material.
              – Heck, we’re silly with it.

              – That’s right.

              Right. We ain’t really Negroes..

              All except for our accompanist.

        4. Now remember folks: Jesus Saves. George Nelson, withdraws!

    3. Coming together to produce the next Miley Cyrus.

      However, pop star Avril Lavigne insisted that she was adamant she wanted her nuptials to Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger to be ‘over the top’.

      Oh well, at least he didn’t take a real woman out of circulation.

    4. That guy is living the life.

    5. Hot, yes. Hottest? That picture

      http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix…..34×866.jpg

      says her skin is not aging well.

      1. And her hair is kind of greesy looking. Seen pics of Olivia Wilde look hotter slumming in some nasty looking gym bottoms and her hair in sloppy tangles. When a women is still hot looking like that, she is hot.

        Hell, here it is:

        http://www.wwtdd.com/2013/06/j…..ide-store/

    6. Meh. These ladies are nowhere near as hot as the women he dated in his youth. It’s disgraceful what passes for arm candy these days. He should do us all a favor and settle down. Get off my lawn and so forth.

      1. When I was growing up real fake breast had real silicon in them and the women that had them looked like they were peeled off the detail work of a stoner’s van and had come to life. They were balloons ready to pop inside of chest cavities if you jiggled them too hard, but, man did they look massive. Not like these soft gel based fake tits that look no better than the real ones they have these days, I tell you.

  10. For around $3, you can see what Cuba Havana looked like just after the Castro’s took over (although the movie is set during the Batista regime).

  11. We need to stand up for our rights to vandalize parks, throw rocks at cars…

    Snowballs. We throw snowballs at cars, remember? When we’re not scrawling anti-capitalist graffiti all over the walls at Bank of America, that is.

    1. In chalk. Don’t forget the chalk part.

    2. SOME OF THOSE SNOWBALLS MIGHT HAVE HAD ROCKS IN THEM!!!!!!!!

      1. Rocks of chalk?

    3. I nailed a cop car windshield (doing about 45) with a snowball during my high school years. It was followed by a lot of running, hiding, and oh shitting.

    4. Snowballs?

      *draws weapon, racks slide*

  12. “All this takes place right in front of our noses without inciting public condemnation and confrontation,” Castro said.

    A perk to living in a Communist paradise without private property. You don’t care if property is vandalized. Why should you. It’s not yours. It’s not anyone’s.

    1. Worse. It’s everyone’s, so let someone else deal with it.

      1. When it belongs to everyone it belongs to no one.

        1. Yeah, same thing.

    2. Yeah. Raul needs more self-awareness.

  13. Only four rows of ribbons? That guy couldn’t qualify to pour the coffee at the Pentagon.

    1. But he might be allowed to empty a trash can! Well, as long as he didn’t look at the contents.

  14. OW, MY EYE!!!1!!!!

  15. Living in society entails, in the first place, accepting rules that preserve respect for decency and the rights of others.

    The Jacket is right! What a square, man! Thinking that kids should have some respect for basic rules governing social interaction, up to and including not destroying property and committing acts of theft.

    1. That is totally not the way I took this article.

  16. Far be it for me to step on today’s Two Minute Hate on Dread Cosmotarianism, but I think Nick is commenting on the irony of an old man ruling over a country built on murder and human misery complaining about petty crimes.

    1. Shhhhh….. it’s best they vent their anger in this way.

      1. True. They’ll be better after their nap.

        1. I DON’T WANT A NAP!

          1. Just wait until your father gets home!

    2. ding ding ding

      Plus a dirty Cuba isn’t attractive to Canadian tourists, and the regime needs those bright, hockey-fueled dollars.

      1. Even with all the graffiti and pooping, Cuba will remain the cheapest way a Canadian can contract AIDS from an underage boywhore. I mean, have you seen the prices in Haiti since the earthquake? Sheesh.

        1. What about the Toronto red light district? It seems to me that there is a huge cruising culture up there.

          Of course, everything I know about Canada I learned from watching Kids in the Hall.

          1. Pish-posh. Every connoisseur knows that poverty whores are the best ones. They just work harder. Why do you think half of England goes to Thailand every year?

            1. I dunno, Sug. Lubricated Canadian hands are surprisingly supple, and you can always come in drag and tell them you’re the queen for that extra bit of enthusiasm from Crown subjects.

              So I’ve heard, anyways. From a friend, of course.

  17. like Johnny implied I’m blown away that a single mom able to get paid $4012 in four weeks on the internet. did you see this webpage… http://www.Blue48.com

    1. Johnny wants you to get the fuck off the interwebs.

    2. $1003 a week? Pssh. I know single moms who would make that in two days dancing.

  18. I don’t get it.

  19. Plus a dirty Cuba isn’t attractive to Canadian tourists, and the regime needs those bright, hockey-fueled dollars.

    I have, no shit, heard people say, “I want to get down there to Cuba to see it before capitalism ruins it.”

    What a bunch of fucking retards.

    They don’t like it much when I ask them how many people have ever jumped on an inner tube and paddled their way from Miami to Havana in search of a better life.

    1. Do you like having TV available as an option? Of course not. Imagine a world where that didn’t exist for anyone, and how glorious it would be.

    2. You Cubans will continue to exist in your communist theme park because FYTW.

    3. Should have asked them if they were planning on coming back to the US on a piece of driftwood or a life raft while being pursued by the Coast Guard — you know, to get the full, authentic experience of life unsullied by capitalism.

    4. Some Americans did put their money where their mouth is in the 1930s and moved to Soviet Russia.

      Historical spoiler warning: virtually all of them ended up getting their nine grams or got disappeared in some gulag.

  20. Imagine a world where that didn’t exist for anyone, and how glorious it would be.

    “Deciding is hard. Just tell me what I need.”

  21. I would have guessed McCain…

    I think the outrage is over that fact that the law says “Thou Shalt not do A…” and people do it anyway.

    It’s not about vandalism, vulgarity, or being rude. These statists are insulted that people aren’t following their rules.

  22. Can I take a moment and ask: when did personal responsibility – i.e. the ability for one to understand that their actions may have consequences upon another person or their property – become such a horrendous thing?

    When was it I wonder when a person (or group of people) decided that – “hey, that guy is successful, let’s get his stuff” or “hey, that guy has something I want, let’s either mess him or his stuff up, or steal it from him” – become acceptable?

    Ignoring for the moment the “God” / morality version of it (which I don’t believe is the root cause, as I know many folks who are not religious or are atheist / agnostic who don’t hold said beliefs), when did (or what motivated) the underlying progression of “your stuff (rights, as the case may be) _should be_ my stuff, and I’m jealous of you, so cough it up” begin?

    Sorry for the shit grammar, but truly, I am curious if anyone can point me to a concrete history of this conundrum. I just can’t comprehend how it is that other people think that a person’s effort / property / rights are theirs to control. Is this what “old fashioned” means now?

    1. I’m gonna guess it happened sometime before Ogg and Scrugg had property and a little after Ogg found a shiny rock to call his own.

    2. Fairly early in the Roman Republic, opportunistic politicians were using class warfare to further their careers.

      “hey, that guy is successful, let’s get his stuff” – pretty well describes Sulla’s Dictatorship.

  23. Fare evasion? Does Cuba have a public transportation system? And if it does, wouldn’t a communist society make it free, like they do healthcare?

  24. I said, “Do you think they give a damn about their bills in Russia?”

    They don’t pay bills in Russia. It’s all free.

    1. In Soviet Russia, cheques deposit you!

  25. So Raul and his Red buddies help create a Tragedy of the Commons…and complain about the forseeable results? Did he propose to reinstitute private property so that there would be people with a stake in enforcing standards in public places? No? Then GTFO, Raul, and take your Commie bastard brother with you.

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