Public schools

Federal Government Cracks Down on Junk Food in Schools


oh petty new world
Reason 24/7

There's no problem too out of their jurisdiction for the feds to try to fix.

From Fox News Latino:

Kids looking to get a sweet treat at school will soon be out of luck.

School vending machines and cafeteria lines will no longer offer high-calorie sports drinks and candy bars — diet drinks, granola bars and other healthier items will be put in their place.

For the first time the Agriculture Department will make sure all foods sold in the nation's 100,000 schools are healthier by expanding fat, calorie, sugar and sodium limits to almost everything.

That includes snacks sold around the school and foods on the "a la carte" line in cafeterias, which never have been regulated before. The new rules, proposed in February and made final this week, also would allow states to regulate student bake sales.

They get the authority from the "For the Children" clause of the Constitution, which is between the "President as Dad" and "Because We Said So" clauses.

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  1. There’s no NON-problem too out of their jurisdiction for the feds to try to fix.


  2. I believe they are able to do this because they put it as a condition on money. Chalk this up as another reason to end federal aid to education. If they didn’t give out money, they couldn’t do this shit.

    1. He who pays the piper…
      Well, don’t let ’em.

    2. Problem being, John, is that the Mimi’s are everywhere. If it wasn’t the Ag Dept, it would be some upper-middle class soccer harpy in the PTA, who would hector everyone to apathy over snacks at school. Her little snowflake won’t be exposed to 2nd-hand glutuen, not if she has anything to say about it. Nosireebob.

      Fairfax and Monkey Counties would be ground zero for this shit.

      1. Yeah. As much as I would like to blame this on the feds, the states are no better.

        Basically a good portion of the country is nuts.

      2. Maybe Mimi could be the dominant to submissive Renata Salecl.

        Or is Mimi a closet submissive, too ?

    3. Expecting schools to follow the first, second, and fourth amendments, however….

  3. This is completely appropriate. Since public schools are run, administered and designed by the State, it makes sense for them to attempt to mold their charges into the perfect Socialist. It also makes sense for any parent who gives two shits and can beg, borrow or steal enough to provide an actual education outside the State to do so.

    I am glad when the institutions which take my money through a threat of force produce shitty results for those who benefit from theft from me.

    As always, if you get into bed with government you should expect to get fucked.

    1. And of course we do it to compete with those yellow devils across the Pacific in China, Japan, and Korea. So there is a definite a socialist and nationalist bent to this.

      And you know who else tried to fuse socialism and nationalism together?

      1. Franco?

      2. The Borg?

        1. and whatever happened to Hugh?

          1. Remember? He crashed the collective of a few ships and let Lore take over as some kind of robot dictator, and he briefly turned Data evil.

            1. Best. Episode. Ever.

    2. Or, this may just be another federal program to train children to grow up to be gray market entrepreneurs.

  4. In high school I seem to remember having Jolt Cola (All the sugar and twice the caffeine) in the vending machines.


    1. One of my first scientific surveys was ascertaining the total sugar content and relative caffeine content (by order in ingredient list) of all of the sodas offered by the vending machines at my high schools.


  6. They get the authority from the “For the Children” clause of the Constitution, which is between the “President as Dad” and “Because We Said So” clauses.

    It’s actually the “he who pays the gold makes the rules” clause. If schools didn’t demand the federal government finance their cafeterias to begin with, the federal government wouldn’t have any input on what they serve there.

    1. Of course, if you say you don’t want the federal money, people will claim you want the kids to starve.

    2. That definitely makes this the right thing to do.

  7. Ed, you forgot the “Fuck You, That’s Why” clause.

  8. granola bars and other healthier items


    I love the retarded old hippie beliefs about what’s healthy. My first job was at a health food store when I was a teenager, and one of the first things the owners said to me was that granola was the greatest scam ever; it’s super cheap fucking baked oats with a ton of carbs and no protein that they charged a ton for. They literally mocked the people who would come in and buy it. I learned a lot from those two old fucks.

    1. They are loaded in sugar. It is basically baked oatmeal with a whole lot of sugar. NTTAWWT.But it is hardly healthy.

      1. They are loaded in sugar. It is basically baked oatmeal with a whole lot of sugar. NTTAWWT.But it is hardly healthy.

        “Healthy” is a highly subjective term filled with all manner of pseudo-scientific garbage. As you state, much of what constitutes “granola” is simply carbs and fats (nuts), but because it’s considered “natural”, well that means it’s filled with Jesus’ goodness. The Twix that has less calories is “empty calories”, as though the body stores fat based on some measure of vitamin and mineral content of the food.

        Nutrition is the perfect field for con-artists.

    2. What is that smell in health food stores?
      The one around here where I get my homebrew supplies has that same distinctive smell that all health food stores have. It’s not unpleasant, but it’s not something I’d seek out. Is it something in particular? A combination of things? What the fuck?

      1. I think it is wheatgerm.

        1. I think you might be right.

      2. Patchouli and ass.

      3. I don’t know; I was responsible for cleaning the store so it didn’t smell of anything because I took my job seriously. There are a myriad of things it could be, because health food stores can vary widely. When I worked for the two old fucks, they sold all kinds of meats and cheeses and other stuff, but then it was bought by a vegan couple who removed all the meats and most of the cheeses and some other stuff, and totally changed a lot of what the store offered.

      4. It’s coming from the bathroom. Those people eat a lot of fiber, you know.

    3. one more example of the food pyramid mentality that treats all carbs as gold and all fats as deadly. One thing few american diets have is a carb deficit.

    4. What if you eat granola not because it’s supposedly healthy, but because you like it?

  9. For The Children is going to produce a generation of busy body hating libertarians. Keep plotting your own demise authoritarians. At least the Nazis new to give their young recruits the best portions, and you are too stupid to even know that.

    1. Nazis knew. I’m just raging homophone today.

      1. rajving

          1. Who doesn’t appreciate a train wreck?

        1. Nah, I kinda like “I’m a raging homophone,” said as much like the Hardly Boys as possible.

    2. I remember being fairly apolitical in elementary school. (We all liked Reagan well enough) As a parent I’m seeing a huge number of passionately anti-Obama kids these days. You’d think that Democrats would care more about their reputation with future voters…

      1. My grandmother told me that when the progressives fell out of power the last time, people had gotten so sick of their shit that if you walked down the street and proclaimed yourself to be a progressive a mob would form and lynch you. I am sure she exaggerated.

        Still, it shows that these people know no limits, they cant help themselves.

        A psychiatrist friend of mine told me not a week ago that sociopaths will keep pushing until you either kill them or they get what they want. That is the progressive mentality.

  10. When I was in high school we still had vending machines with soda in them and you could buy candy from the student store. I guess I can tell my future children I was among the last to enjoy such freedoms?

    1. Jack Daniel’s T-Shirts in high school. No one in authority gave a fuck. I was there to witness it and just take it for granted as the norm.

      1. There was an upperclassman when I was a freshman who had a “Captain Quaalude” t-shirt. It wasn’t even looked at twice by the teachers. And I really, really wish I had that t-shirt.

        1. I had one with a big pot leaf on the front with the caption “Will Work for Weed.”

          No one cared.

        2. Now that I think about it, I think I still have it.

        3. Not to mention my blood drenched Judas Preist Murders in the Rouge Morgue beautifully printed and bought at Spencer’s. I got compliments on it from the vice principal for that one. Today, the busy bodies that run the schools would use it as evidence in my case file.

          1. Then there’s my White Zombie concert shirt with a glow in the dark zombie on the front, and “666 Muthfuckah” on the back.

            Wore that to work in a kitchen and they made me turn it inside out because I was scaring the waitresses.

          2. That’s an Iron Maiden song you twit!

            1. So it was. And just how many brain cells did you allow to survive your teens? Too many, apparently.

              1. I had several Iron Maiden shirts, and I really started the war on my brain cells in earnest in college, not high school.

                (takes huge rip from bong, sips martini, pops a Vicodin)

                I’m still waging it.

                1. Having a kid pretty much sold me out.

            2. Still a cool short though, and unforgivable I recall it being Judas Priest.

        4. I walked around with my cock hanging out, dripping green goo, up hill both ways through the snow, and ain’t nobody gave a fuck!

          Jesus christ you guys sound like a bunch of whiney geezers ; D

          1. Did you ever get the green goo treated? That can’t be good for you.

          2. Envy is never a pretty sight. Green goo encapsulate that perfectly.

        5. Is there some modern equivalent of the quaalude that one can acquire relatively easily?

          1. Hard to get now, but if you are looking for a good buttfucking pill, candy flipping works well to smooth out the rough edges.

            1. …looking for a good buttfucking pill…

              What is this I don’t even…?

              1. That was the purpose of quaaludes. Loosens mental and physical inhibitions.

                1. Yeah I was just trying to finish off the last few drugs on my to do list, not for anal sex or anything. My gf just enjoys anal, and is pretty straight laced as far as chemical substances.

                  1. Quaaludes are good for just chilling too and I liked them for just that reason. Draw backs, sometimes mild nausea, but if you ever puked up your guts after consuming mushrooms, ludes are a cakewalk. ore like any pill on an empty pill in that respect. Guys use to stock up on them for more of a personal party drug to share with before fucking than as a social party drug. Hence my classification.

                    1. ludes are a cakewalk. ore like any pill on an empty pillstomach in that respect.

                      In the War on Brain Cells I’m fucking Napoleon. Thank you, high abv French Canadian brews.

          2. You can still get barbituates of various kinds, but what’s mostly replaced it is benzodiazepines.

            1. I used to love quaaludes when I was younger. The benzodiazepines have nowhere near the same effect. The ludes would give you a floaty, disconnected sureal feeling, while the benzodiazepines just kind of mellow you out.

              1. That’s why the DEA went to the mat to get production of them stopped.

                1. Yeah, God forbid someone might be getting high and enjoying the experience. It must be stopped at all costs!

              2. Sadly, I’m too young to have experienced the joys of quaaludes, but maybe up the dose on the benzos. Because they’re my favorite thing after opiates, for sure.

        6. I had a t-shirt that said “I’m not as think as you stoned I am” on the back. The closest I ever came to getting in trouble for it was one prudish teacher told me it wasn’t entirely appropriate, but I wasn’t sent to the principal’s office or explicitly told not to wear it or anything.

          Of course, it probably helped that I was in Honor’s classes, was getting at least decent grades, and was a senior, which meant I was going to be gone soon anyway. If I had been part of the burn out/ stoner crowd I’m sure they would have taken it more seriously, but they pretty much knew it was just a joke.

    2. When I was in 5th grade walking home from school I would sometimes pop into a corner store for some cheap candy. This ended when the crossing guard too it upon herself to tell us not to go in. I was a lot more compliant back then than I am now.

  11. (holds hand to forehead, peers off in middle distance)
    I predict many new delis very close to schools!

    1. Those places are like prisons. They really don’t let the kids off campus until the school day is done, and then based on them suspending kids for the Facebook posts, really not until graduation.

      1. How long before they try taking back diplomas for grads with offensive facebook/or otherwise posts?

        I have learned the trick to predicting what they will do next: simply the most over-the-top thing I can think of. Worst idea possible.

      2. Yea, they really don’t let you out of the building unless you have a parent give the ok. That’s not to say I didn’t know people who would sneak out for lunch, or even have a pizza delivered. Friend of mine thought it would be funny to crawl out the window during lunch. He didn’t expect us to lock it behind him. Much hilarity followed.

    2. I predict many new delis very close to schools!

      “Not if I have anything to say about it there won’t!”

      –State representative Fuckface, lambasting predatory capitalist minimarts and delis exploiting the children.

      1. Food desert!

        1. Did someone say food dessert?

  12. I assume it will soon be a felony to put a Pepsi and a Snickers in little Johny’s brown bag lunch?

    Now that I think of it, round here that Snickers would be confiscated and put in the trash because some student has a peanut allergy, so no students are allowed to bring peanut anything to school.

    No PBJ for you!

    1. In North Carolina the kid has his lunch taken away for not meeting standards.

    2. I heard a story on the CBC recently about a school in Canada where they were also banning things that look like peanut butter (soy butter, almond butter, etc.) because it might give the false impression that peanut products were allowed. We have a long way to go to reach peak stupid.

      1. “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”
        – Albert Einstein

        There is no such thing as peak stupid.

        1. And here comes ‘Tony’ to illustrate the point.

      2. This nation really has lost it’s fucking mind. Completely.

        We’re ruled by cringing, anxiety-ridden phobophobiacs with unchecked power.

        1. I agree. So many people can’t tell the difference between its and it’s these days.

        2. I think Stossel did a show on that once, about scaring ourselves to death. Over everything. I still remember the great Alar scare. And acid rain. And the disappearing ozone hole. Funny how people can perpetuate serial scare stories that prove unfounded and still retain credibility for their next effort.

          1. Hey, Meryl Streep testified to Congress that alar on apples would kill us all. You think you know more about pesticides than Meryl Fucking Streep ?

      3. I have no doubt that there are a few kids out there who really do have deathly peanut allergies. But that number whatever it is is way below the number of people who claim that their kid does. How is it that no one ever heard of this condition until like 20 years ago? Why were kids not dropping dead in the 60s before anyone cared about peanuts?

        Sorry but I think most of these kids’ problem is not allergies but neurotic parents.

        1. Yup, most of these “allergies” are anxiety-driven panic attacks.

        2. John,

          Allergies negatively correlate with germ exposure at a young age.

          The helicopter moms (and dads) are setting up their snowflakes for problems with their obsessive cleaning and not letting them play in the mud with froggies and pests.

        3. I got bit or stung by some bug in the yard last year. And I’ll be damned if the internet forward I received telling me to take a benadryl and put liquid handsoap on the infected area didn’t do the trick. I didn’t run off to the fucking hospital or stab myself with my epileptic neighbors epi-pen. But I swear it happened to some broad’s snowflake he or she would have died because that helicopter mom would have had them in the ER where the diseases and psychotropic drugs live.

          1. I saw a guy accidentally stab himself with an epi pen once. I would have to be pretty bad off to want to do that. The guy ended up hyperventilating from it.

            Some people really do have allergies that will kill them. But most people don’t.

  13. I live down the street from a high school. I’m really looking forward to finding more discarded candy wrappers stuffed into my bushes as the kids will be bringing more snacks from home.

    1. Better than finding discarded condoms.

      1. This is true. I guess I’ll thank the Ag department now.

  14. State schools offering unhealthy crap as food is not a more free situation than state schools offering healthy food.

    1. Banning things and enforcing less choice is not less free!

      Derpity derp derp DERP!

      1. There is a limited number of choices schools are able to offer in any circumstance. Replacing candy bars with granola bars does not reduce the number of choices, it just makes the available choices healthier.

        When I was in school all you could get was crap, because it was cheap, and schools weren’t required to do anything else.

        If anything this increases choice because children might not end up constrained by the symptoms of diabetes.

        1. If anything this increases choice because children might not end up constrained by the symptoms of diabetes.


        2. “There is a limited number of choices schools are able to offer in any circumstance. ”

          That’s not what this is.

          1. The diet I had in high school should be criminal. If you don’t learn to eat well when you’re young, you tend never to do so. We don’t entrust parents with teaching their kids algebra, so I don’t know why we should entrust them with teaching them good eating habits in an environment where most of the available options are crap.

            1. We don’t entrust parents with teaching their kids algebra

              Huh? I think Salman Khan would beg to differ, dumbass.

              1. The existence of innovative alternative forms of education doesn’t have anything to do with the point that we require children to get educated because we can’t be sure–strike that, we know for certain–that parents won’t universally provide for their children’s education.

                And people whose opportunities in life are determined from birth by parentage are not anyone’s idea of free market agents.

                1. we require children to get educated because we can’t be sure–strike that, we know for certain–that parents won’t universally provide for their children’s education.

                  What do you mean “we”, White boy?

                  1. Every civilized society everywhere.

                2. Something strange has been going on in government schools, especially where the matter of reading is concerned. Abundant data exist to show that by 1840 the incidence of complex literacy in the United States was between 93 and 100 percent, wherever such a thing mattered. Yet compulsory schooling existed nowhere. Between the two world wars, schoolmen seem to have been assigned the task of terminating our universal reading proficiency.

                  Seriously, read a book before you open your syphilitic chancre-ridden mouth and annoy us with your schoolboy stupidity. John Taylor Gatto has posted the full text of his book The Underground History of American Education on his website, which anyone can access for free. You have no excuse for being so ignorant of thus subject. Incidentally, Peterson makes many of the same observations and arguments as Gatto in his more recent Saving Schools, lest you argue that Gatto is some sort of fringe kook.

                  Now, kindly shut the fuck up and allow the adults to have an informed and educated discussion about the topic.

                  1. You will get no argument from me that education needs vast amounts of reform. But it will be a difficult task to convince me that compulsion isn’t necessary given that not all children are born to responsible or financially able parents.

                    And I’m not sure what the weasel words “wherever such a thing mattered” are supposed to indicate. The country’s literacy rate was lower in the 19th century and has only increased with time. Feel free to enlighten me, but surely he’s not saying that since literacy didn’t matter to, say, slaves in 1840, they don’t count?

                    1. Though I will note the irony that one of Gatto’s big complaints is that schools feed children unhealthy crap.

                    2. Though I will note the irony that one of Gatto’s big complaints is that schools feed children unhealthy crap.

                      And why does that happen, Tony? Keep reading….you’re so close!

                    3. If you’re trying to slur Gatto as a racist, you’re even dumber than I thought.

                    4. No I’m wondering where he gets his information and what he means by that. If we’re talking universal literacy rates, it has only increased with time, and as far as I know there isn’t actually reliable data pre-1870.

                      I’ve read criticisms of Gatto that he doesn’t source well, which he defends by calling sourcing the methodology of the academic establishment. Not buying that.

                    5. it will be a difficult task to convince me that compulsion isn’t necessary given that not all children are born to responsible or financially able parents.

                      $ cat
                      10 So, people
                      20 can’t be trusted to educate
                      30 or feed their own kids,
                      40 so government must do it.
                      50 And the government is made up of
                      60 people, who
                      70 GOTO 20

            2. Criminal? I fucking hate you. How ’bout we lock YOU up? It’s not really fair, but fuck you, majority rules. Right?

              1. If someone forced you to take a drug that made you fat and diabetic and likely to die earlier than you would otherwise, but it happened all at once, you would call that a crime.

                1. “If someone forced you to take a drug ”

                  Which has nothing to do with school lunches, which no one is forced to do anything with.

            3. Just because your parents were retards who didn’t understand algebra doesn’t make that the case for everyone else.

            4. “The diet I had in high school should be criminal. If you don’t learn to eat well when you’re young, you tend never to do so.”

              So when are you reporting to prison? Obviously you no capability to learn to eat healthy.

              Some parents don’t trust themselves enough to teach their kid’s algebra and send their kids to public school. Some parents prefer to hire trained professionals and send their kids to private school. Some parents homeschool. “We” are not involved.

        3. If anything this increases choice

          So, removing options increases choices. Holy shit.

          1. Replacing options does not affect the choice equation.

            1. Um, yes, it does.

              Are you really so stupid?

        4. Granola bars are not healthier than candy bars.

          1. Indeed, that the mongoloid argues they are shows why no one should take it seriously.

    2. Ah, the usual Tony derp. “having choices is not freedom, having all your choices made for you is REAL freedom”

      Fuck off.

      1. There is no such thing as unlimited choices. In the closed environment of a school, you can increase the quality of the choices but not the number. What’s wrong with that?

        1. only in govt does the merchant dictate to the consumer what he/she can have. And people wonder why govt makes such a mess of everything it infects.

        2. Once again, you completely miss the point. No one is saying “unlimited choices”, but nice strawman.

          The problem is with the government dictating what schools can and cannot offer as choices. I know the whole “personal responsibility” thing is lost on you, but bear with me.

          If someone thinks that offering granola bars and diet soda is a great idea, they are free to petition the school to allow them to place a vending machine with those items in it along side the candy bars and energy drinks. That way, the kids have what we like to call “a choice”. You see, choices allow us to take responsibility for our actions and learn from our mistakes. If all the decisions are made for us, we bear no responsibility for the outcomes. Now, I know that sounds like your perfect world, but many of us are actually grown ups and would prefer to not have a nanny from birth till death.

          Now seriously, go fuck off.

          1. Why is there a right for children to have candy bars in schools? Why isn’t there also a right for them to have foie gras and sushi? Candy bars are not an inherent part of the schooling experience. I don’t get your argument.

            1. Damn, you’re dense… not even a dent in your DERP-ARMOR.

              I never said candy bars are a right, you mendacious fuck. I said that they have a right to choose what they want to eat. And I will goddam guarantee you that the average school age kid is going to chose a delicious candy bar over a bland health food snack any day of the week.

              It’s like you can’t figure out what the “choice” word that we keep using is. Here let me help you out.

              Hope this doesn’t hurt your brain.

              1. Okay, so children have a right to choose what to eat. But you’re saying they have a right to choose candy bars. Why is that the case? Why shouldn’t they have to choose between healthy options?


                And I will goddam guarantee you that the average school age kid is going to chose a delicious candy bar over a bland health food snack any day of the week.

                only furthers my point. Of course they’ll choose the junk food. That’s why they’re fat and sick. Junk food is designed to be delicious and addictive. But children raised to eat healthy food often don’t develop a taste for the junk in later life.

                Since when did children become autonomous free agents anyway? We’re talking about the context of a public school where they are told exactly where to be at what time for much of the day. And you’re bitching about candy bars?

                1. “Why shouldn’t they have to choose between healthy options?”

                  Because that’s the exact opposite definition of “the right to eat what you want”.

                  Are you really this stupid?

            2. Why isn’t there also a right for them to have foie gras and sushi?

              If children were exposed to delicious food such as that, they wouldn’t grow up to be masochistic, neo-Puritian harridans.

          2. And “personal responsibility” is only as successful as the outcomes, and the outcome of the current system is lots of fat diabetic children. Or do you mean “personal responsibility” in the usual way: “not my problem, fuck off”? In which case you have the astounding claim on your hands that somehow the country’s children all got fat and diabetic due to an unexplained simultaneous decline in personal responsibility.

            1. utopians have long believed they could dictate outcomes. They can’t and they provided the evidence to prove it. People learn about good choices by first making bad ones but you folks are so intent on making sure no snowflake ever learns anything that you just bake bad results into the system.

              Children got fat because 1) society is far more sendentary than it used to be, kids included, 2) white kids are increasingly opting out of sports, except for maybe soccer, furthering the exercise deficit, 3) a lot of parents are just plain lazy and feed their kids processed stuff of questionable nutritional value; alternatively 4), they believed the ridiculous govt food pyramid and carb them to death.

              1. So with the existence of all of those pressures in life, two points come to mind: 1) It would seem that requiring healthy food in schools is if anything a minor attempt to chip away at the problem. And 2) personal responsibility is obviously a failed strategy.

                Children do not learn to eat healthy by first eating crap. They just get addicted to the crap.

                1. personal responsibility has not failed; govt has gone out of its way to minimize it at all costs. We had hearings not long ago about how female law students were too stupid to get birth control pills for themselves.

                  Kids didn’t start getting fat in numbers until recently and govt fingerprints are all over that – anyone have recess anymore? Anyone required to take PE?

                  Schools seemingly want to do everything but teach, or at least distract as much attention from teaching as possible lest folks discover the cluster they pay for. We survived just fine with school lunch that had chili, burgers, chicken, fish, and a host of other things that the food police today would wet themselves over.

                  1. Schools have cut athletic programs because school budgets have been cut, not by progressives who believe in public education, but by people who want to prove themselves right that government can’t do anything.

                    Yeah our public school system is crap and produces bad outcomes, but it doesn’t have anything to do with personal responsibility. Other countries have much better outcomes with just as much compulsory schooling as we have. They just invest in it better.

                    1. “Schools have cut athletic programs because school budgets have been cut, ”

                      Except that’s a blatant, easily disproven lie.

                      ” They just invest in it better.”

                      We spend more per child than anyone else on earth.

                      The failures are the people using the money, i.e. bureaucrats and teachers.

                      You yourself admit it can be done, and since it’s not the parent’s or kids responsibility to run schools, the failure irrefutably falls on the faculty.

                      I’m glad you agree schools are crap and government/faculty is to blame. You finally pulled your head out of Obama’s crotch.

      2. If you ignore the sockpuppet, you hurt it. Ignore the sockpuppet.

        1. If I don’t ignore it, I hurt you.

          And I don’t really like you.

          1. That’s a completely valid and frankly, expected, attitude. Still, can’t we all agree that we hate ProL the most?

            1. …I will agree to this.

        2. I know, Epi, I know. I’ve learned my lesson with Tulpy and the Plug, but because Tony occasionally has moments of intelligence and reason, I still feel like I can maybe reach him and get him to spit the state’s cock out and use that intelligence and reasoning to think for himself.

          It’s a losing battle, but I still feel compelled to fight it.

          1. Nope, you’re right, Epi… I’m done. That false choice up there is stupid even for PB. Sorry I ever doubted you.

    3. But state schools not allowing something is.

    4. I guess it’s impolite to ask why the state tolerates parents who are either too stupid or too incompetent to feed their own kids. You would think having the state take care of two of the three meals for the day would open a lot of room on that EBT card for buying decent stuff.

      1. Should the state lock these parents up? What is your point? Because it sounds like “‘those people’ are lazy parasites and I just thought I’d reiterate that” without further clarification.

        1. my point is that subsidizing bad behavior guarantees more bad behavior. Maybe the state should stop making it easy for parents to be absent unless, of course, that is a feature of the system rather than a bug.

          1. Well this article is all about subsidizing good behavior. So instead of providing incentives to provide healthy food to children in schools, you want government to show up at everyone’s home and make sure there are two parents there?

            The point of public services for children such as education is that children don’t get to choose to have good parents.

            1. I don’t want the state subsidizing behavior period. It’s not the state’s role and it’s a huge reason why so many people think the govt tit is theirs for the taking for everything.

              I would start with having schools improve their core product – education. That means stop hiring high-paid admins who sit far away and focus on teachers. Speaking of teachers, I would hold them accountable. People know who the good and lousy ones are just like in any workplace.

              There was a time before school lunch, certainly before school breakfast, when kids brown-bagged. No one starved, not even the black kids. Amazing what people will do when you expect shit from them.

              1. Sorry, I can’t do much with this, except to say, of course you want the state subsidizing behavior. You want the state telling people to stop at red lights and go at green lights, and not to murder you for that matter. Those are all behaviors that taxpayer money is spent to incentivize.

                1. “You want the state telling people to stop at red lights and go at green lights, and not to murder you for that matter”

                  No, you stupid fuck, I want the citizens to tell themselves that.

                  It’s interesting that you admit here that you cannot behave properly without being told to.

                2. “Those are all behaviors that taxpayer money is spent to incentivize.”

                  And that’s wrong too.

    5. Yeah…..’offering’

      You really are the king of mendacity. Fuck you Tony.

  15. As unconstitutional, nannyist, and petty as this is, is it really anything more than a slippery slope marker? Who cares if Jack and Jill can’t by Ding Dongs in the cafeteria? They’re going to be indoctrinated with so much other stupid shit anyhow, this just seems trivial at this point.

    It’s when they start with the “snack free zone” within 500m of the school that we’re talking some real liberty abuse. And I do see that coming.

    1. you are answering your own question. The slope is the reason to care. Each step down it only ensures that one more will follow. You gonna wait till we’re at the bottom of the hill to speak up?

  16. They get the authority from the “For the Children” clause of the Constitution, which is between the “President as Dad” and “Because We Said So” clauses.

    All of which fall under Article 8: the Fuck You, That’s Why Article.

  17. We shorely wouldn’t want to do anything about all the fat kids in America

    1. Who is we? I’m not doing anything to for or against the kids. If I had a kid I would be responsible for his/her up bringing not the state.

  18. On the plus side though, maybe this kind of shit will condition kids to despise the federal government at a young enough age to insulate from the 12 years of indoctrination and brain washing they’ll be subjected to. It’s too late for my generation, but maybe, just maybe the generation that’s growing up now will have a fighting chance.

    Yeah, right, fat chance!

    1. I keep thinking there will be a generation that will finally decide to be nonconformist. But I am starting to lose hope. Maybe entertainment has just gotten too good. Maybe no generation will ever want to rebel as long as they have their video games and cell phones.

      1. Actually, it will happen:

        The big argument for socialism is that it would eliminate scarcity by distributing stuff equally around. And in the past when standards of living were lower, that argument was persuasive.

        In a post scarcity utopia, most people wouldn’t be interested in submitting to other people’s authority since it would not profit them at all.

        Of course, the socialists advance another argument that socialism, by removing power from the hands of individuals and concentrating it in the hands of top men (with the optional proviso that the top men are answerable to the voters) reduces the risk faced by the average person for harms like poisoned food or gunshot wounds or pate fois gras.

        That argument gets more powerful to people who are comfortable and have more to lose.

        My guess is, however, as their track record of failures build up, that sectors of the economy and institutions of society will begin to slip out of state control and back to private hands. And once they go there they won’t go back.

        I really think the Obama administration represents the height of a defunct philosophy, seemingly all powerful, but overstretched and on the verge of collapse.

        1. Damn so Star Trek was wrong.

        2. “Actually, it will happen:…”

          Maybe, but Ithink we are a long way from rock bottom.

      2. Well considering that there is no state religion then they already nonconformist.

        I kid but I kinda hate the term “nonconformist.” I mean if everyone “nonconforms” then is that a form of conformity? And aren’t nonconformists rather conformist in their nonconformity?

        I could make a similar rant about antiestablishment and antiauthoritarian…

    2. No chance. People get upset when you take something away from them that they know is perfectly harmless while telling them it’s for their own good. If you’re never exposed to the harmless thing, you have no reason to be outraged when it’s forbidden.

      1. True, the kids who haven’t started school yet are probably still fucked, but the ones that are already in, say, middle school (that’s about where a lot of kids start to question random authority) might have some slim hope. Although I it’s still a long shot.

  19. I don’t see what’s controversial about public schools being required to serve healthy food. I would oppose rules saying kids couldn’t bring their own junk food to school, but given that schools do serve food, why shouldn’t it be healthy instead of crap? They weren’t serving crap before because they wanted to express their freedom, they were doing it because they were incentivized to for various reasons.

    1. I don’t see what’s controversial about public schools being required to serve healthy food.

      Define “healthy”. Remember that the government has been pushing various forms of the food pyramid that encourage people to pig out on carbs, and have a conniption fit when doctors like Adkins come along with low-carb diets.

      1. Government is capable of defining healthy as long as the standards aren’t written by food industry lobbyists (or what libertarians call “free speech”). Imagine no government–we’d all be under the impression Coke and cheese puffs were the height of healthfulness. (Or Brawndo perhaps?)

        1. so absent the wisdom of govt, no one would be able to differentiate junk food from the good stuff. Authoritarian much?

          By the way, the govt developed the food pyramid which no reputable dietician would endorse.

        2. Just because you’re too stupid to view media critically doesn’t mean others are as moronic as you.

          1. But what of the people who are moronic? Do their children deserve to grow up to be unskilled menial laborers with diabetes because of who they happened to have as parents?

            1. People had no problem distinguishing junk food from good food long before government got involved. Sugar and carbs have been known to be unhealthy for at least 150 years.

              People didn’t start believing carbs were healthy until government started pushing that bs.

  20. Sounds like a solid plan dude.

  21. food safety of school is very important, eating green food, protect students’ health.wholesales in China

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