Rand Paul

Rand Paul: A Real Man?

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Interesting single data point on how Rand Paul has impacted the public consciousness post-drone filibuster from a stemwinding typically men's mag style overly thoughtful Esquire magazine feature, "1000 Miles of Men," about writer Tom Chiarella asking hundreds of common folk across this great land of ours: What is a man? 

One response:

At the bar of a Cheesecake Factory, I asked a woman, a lawyer in her late thirties sitting by herself, a regular of some sort or a friend of the bartender: What is a man?

"I'll tell you what I like," she said. "Someone who's willing to say what's on their mind. I don't like dodgy men. I think Marco Rubio is a man. You know. I also like Rand Paul."

I had not counted on the possibility of role models, public figures. "I'm looking for a definition," I told her. "Not endorsements."

"Well, I also like President Obama, for sure," she said, not listening. "I did, anyway. For a while. I lost my interest. Now I just think Rand Paul is braver. He did that filibuster. That was hard. That took courage."

Me in March at Reason on Rand Paul and his three post-filibuster problems.

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  1. You mean a woman might be attracted to someone who displays classical masculine virutes, like courage, justice, temperance, prudence, and strength?

    I’m shocked!

    1. It’s an evil lie spread by the patriarchy!

      Women are only really attracted to effiminate beta boys who are afraid to even approach them.

      1. With product in their hair. Lots of product. That seems to be the new thing. Sort of teenage-ish boy men who are sort of sexually non-threatening and have product in their hair.

        1. You never did the dippy doo? I had a retro-rocker phase.

          1. When you were a teenager, right?

  2. People eat something other than cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory? Why?

    1. In Boston, at least, they make a good burger.

      1. Put me in the skeptical column.

        1. He means good in the sense of if you are looking for an expensive yet tasty laxative, their burgers are just what the doctor ordered.

      2. But you could just go to Five Guys instead.

        1. Damn..Damn DAAAMN!

        2. Why? They are the biggest rip off out there.

          I went in once and got a burger, Fries, and a Drink it cost me $17 and honestly was not any better than a Wendys burger that I could have gotten for $9

          1. I have no idea how you did that. I go about once a week and spend $8.54 on a bacon cheeseburger and fries.Unless you’re getting large everything, in which case you should be feeding about 3 people with that. Both the burger and fries are about 5x better than Wendy’s (and Wendy’s is my favorite of the fast food chains).

            1. Whataburger Wendy’s

              1. where did my greater than sign go? No technology skills

          2. I couldn’t understand the price either until I saw them give me half a bag of fries when I ordered a small.

            Maybe if they didn’t load up their bags with french fries they wouldn’t use up so much product and could offer cheaper prices.

        3. Don’t you mean Five … Men?

      3. Actually the best burger I ever had came from the Cheesecake Factory, they don’t carry it anymore but they called it their roadhouse burger and it was awesome

    2. The bar at the Cheesecake Factory sounds like the worst place ever. I’m not thrilled about expensive chains or restaurant bars. I would try very hard to only go there for the co-worker’s going away party and leave after one drink.

      1. Occasionally I go to the bar at the Ninety Nine. But only because my best friend is the manager of that one.

        1. There’s always the buddy/hot bartendress exception.

          1. It usually turns into a really good deal for me. And the service is always excellent.

      2. Unless The Big Bang Theory is lying to us, there are big breasted blonde girls there who will sleep with ugly nerds.

    3. The only reason I’d go to a Cheesecake factory is because someone else is paying or to heckle my 18 year old brother who recently got a job as a waiter there. The food is adequate, but I should be taken to heaven and back for the caloric content of their average-sized portions, and I am not.

  3. Maybe he should have checked her for an extra chromosome if the people she likes are politicians.

    1. At the bar of a Cheesecake Factory, I asked a woman, a lawyer in her late thirties sitting by herself, a regular of some sort or a friend of the bartender.

      That explains a lot.

      1. Yeah, I didn’t even want to get into the Cheesecake Factory part. Or the lawyer part. Do you think ProL eats at The Cheesecake Factory? Almost assuredly, right?

        1. I’ve eaten there, but only a couple of times. Is there some significance to the place that I’m totally and blissfully unaware of?

          1. They’re functionally the same as The Spaghetti Factory. Which you have probably also frequented. Tell me, ProL, would you say you’re more of an Applebees man or an Olive Garden man?

            1. Hey, no reason to use obscenities.

              I live relatively close to an Olive Garden. People ask me what’s wrong with America, and I don’t spout libertarian or capitalist philosophy. I point to the insanely long lines at Olive Garden. I mean, like all of the time. People waiting 45 minutes to get in. To eat at Olive Garden.

              1. But…but…the breadsticks! Or something!

                ProL prefers Red Lobster.

                1. ProL prefers Red Lobster

                  Huh… I would’ve thought he’d be more of a Golden Corral type of guy.

                2. In Tampa? Are you kidding? Though people go there.

                  For anyone local, I went to Keegan’s in Indian Rocks for the first time a couple of weeks ago. It’s a hole in the wall, but the food was very good. I had some cobia special with poblano mashed potatoes. And a scallop ceviche. Muy happy.

              2. People ask me what’s wrong with America, and I don’t spout libertarian or capitalist philosophy. I point to the insanely long lines at Olive Garden.

                I don’t mind that a restaurant sells the same food and service at all of its locations, but if I go there, its because I just flew into some town and I don’t feel like playing restaurant roulette. Not because it is Wednesday.

                1. I don’t mind that a restaurant sells the same food and service at all of its locations, but if I go there, its because I just flew into some town and I don’t feel like playing restaurant roulette.

                  It’s kind of like Bud Light in that respect.

                2. I don’t feel like playing restaurant roulette.

                  Not an UrbanSpoon fan?

                  1. I guess the internet/smartphones has changed me in that respect. Which would explain why I was last at the Olive Garden for a company Christmas party in 2005 or 2006 that a coworker has since described as “the saddest holiday party I’ve ever attended”.

                3. People pay for the consistency of a familiar name and setting. The brand, if you will. Iy doesn’t necessarily matter if the food is mediocre, it is the consistency people desire. And that is a hallmark of a society in decay: one that prizes consistent mediocrity over the risk of an attempt at excellence.

              3. Olive Garden, Carabbas, Macaroni Grill, all effectively on top of each other on my end of town. All with insane wait times to get in.

                Meanwhile, I can drive across town to the locally owned Come Back Inn, which might, hypothetically, have a 15 minute wait on a busy night, but Ive never had to wait to get in.

                Guess which is the better Italian restaurant? Guess which is the cheapest?

                And Im ignoring a bunch of higher end local Italian places too.

                I dont get people sometimes.

                1. IMHO, Bravo! is the best Italian chain restaurant. I refuse to pay more than $10 for Olive Garden. Same goes for P.F. Changs.

                  1. I apparently offended a goodly number of my coworkers when I described P.F. Changs as a place where poor people took dates to feel fancy and middle class.

                    1. No true. I assume at least a portion of the patrons of P. F. Chang’s are suffering from dangerously low levels of salt and are attempting to ingest as many kilograms as possible in a single sitting.

                    2. And MSG. Don’t forget the MSG.

                    3. P.F. Changs as a place where poor people took dates to feel fancy and middle class.

                      Add in where post-collegiate single women go to feel like they’ve made it and this is a perfect explanation of the whole PF Changs/Cheesecake Factory business model.

                    4. “Add in where post-collegiate single women”

                      My uncle (who is a private practice physician and makes gobbs of money)and my aunt absolutely love P.F Changs. By far the most frugal people I have ever known (they smuggle in cans of soda into Movie Theaters).

                    5. I apparently offended a goodly number of my coworkers when I described P.F. Changs as a place where poor people took dates to feel fancy and middle class

                      They were probably offended because that’s a spot-on description.

                2. My wife and I go to local family-owned Italian places, all of which are tons better than the chains.

                3. Cheaper, better, with little or no wait.

                  There’s a place here–La Casa Della Pasta–that has a very nice seafood pasta special that involves lobster, squid ink, escargot, and other stuff. Very unusual and very good.

              4. I only go to Olive Garden for lunch and when I am visiting my parents. The main reasons I go there is a) to avoid starving before dinner time and b) because my dad has Parkinson’s and I have two toddlers – I am impervious to embarrassment.

          2. It is the most heavily female-dominated sit-down restaurant I’ve ever been to in the terms a of patronage. In the middle of the week for lunch, I was the only male in a full 400 seat restaurant.

            1. This seems true to me, but the one I’ve been to is in our high-end mall. So everything is female-dominated.

            2. Sounds like a great place to pick up chicks. As long as you don’t have to eat any of the food. Of course, NutraSweet was there solely for the food, since there were no sheep to have sex with in the restaurant. No, NutraSweet does his cruising down on the farm.

              1. Organic bestiality.

                1. Is there any other kind?

                  1. What difference does it make?

                    1. GMO sheep have spines that extend and lock you in until they’re satisfied. And lay waste to you.

                      You have to go for the penis destruction or ball shriveling if you’re going to make an anti GMO argument–it’s par for the course.

                  2. GMO.

              2. They have some other options. California Pizza Kitchen, for instance.

                1. Sometimes the right wing wall is awesome.

          3. Is there some significance to the place that I’m totally and blissfully unaware of?

            Maybe it has something to do with The Big Bang Theory? Maybe a lot of stupid people assume they hire waitresses that look like Caley Kuoco.

          4. I went once. I’m pretty sure we were accidentally acting out an episode of The Big Bang Theory. It was 4 nerdy guys with advanced degrees working at the same place, going to Cheesecake Factory before watching the premier of the Avengers. We even included an Indian guy, a super tall skinny white dude, and a guy with a master’s in aerospace engineering who is also obsessed with girls (that last one was me).

            We haven’t gone back. Or even hung out in the same exact group, I think.

            1. Terrible show. Talk about the demise of America.

            2. DORK ALERT

            3. It’s premiere. Premier is like a premier aperitif.

              1. My typing has gotten worse and worse lately.

                1. You were a premier typist until the premiere of your worseness.

                  1. I used to be a superior typist. Now I seem to be turning into… JOOOOOOHN!

                    1. Duh, typing is for paralegals

                      /john

                    2. Can I get a paratechnical?

                2. My typing has gotten worse and worse lately.

                  John’s influence here becomes more ubiquitous, I see.

  4. What is a man?

    It’s a dumb and brutish creature whose job is to work hard and take care of women and children, and to take the blame for anything that goes wrong, or that is bad, ever, from the beginning of time until forever. This is especially more true if it’s a heterosexual white male. Those are the worst kind.

  5. You found a woman in a bar who was actually aware of that filibuster?

    1. She just gained 50 pounds.

    1. What is a man?

      According to Plato, a plucked chicken.

    2. “Well, that and a pair of testicles.”

  6. I wonder if any women were interviewed while sitting on their hen perches at the front of a Panera Bread?

    1. hen perches

      I’m gonna have to remember that one. Also, this is why there are no female libertarians.

      1. It’s only one of the zillion billion trillion reasons.

  7. I thought Dr. Dobek was the only man who went down to the cheesecake factory for some scotch. And cheesecake.

  8. I wonder how many people answered, “A miserable little pile of secrets!” and threw a goblet at him.

  9. Real Men have Alt-Text.

  10. a few more IDF…

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..ead_module

    you’re welcome.

  11. OT: Update from a pregnant woman who is “experiencing NO food cravings whatsoever”: “you’re going to think this this is extremely gross, but mayo + Doritos nacho cheese= AWESOME”

    ME: “Don’t kiss me with that mouth. I mean it.”

    1. I’m intrigued by her ideas and would like to subscribe to her cookbook.

    2. If it isn’t Monocle Foods brand mayo your child is already heading down the path to wage slavery.

      1. Well, I don’t want him or her to be a parasite forever. 9 months is long enough.

        1. This isn’t a binary of wage slave or parasite. Why wouldn’t you aspire for your child to be born a robber baron. By consuming copious amounts of Monocle Foods brand artisanal mayonnaise, your baby-mama is setting your child on the path to greatness.*

          *This greatness is potentially impaired by the Doritos, YMMV.

          1. If the child is wearing a monocle on the pre-school playground and taking advantage of the other pre-schoolers by employing them in the family textile mill for 5 cents a day, then you know that the child is headed in the right direction.

            1. If the child is wearing a monocle on the pre-school playground

              If its a boy, he’ll totally have a tuxedo outfit from day one.

          2. If the Monocle Foods Corp. owners ever came around anymore, I’d totally volunteer as a product tester.

    3. My wife is mainly excited about beef and pickles.

  12. The Cheesecake Factory is pretty expensive. However, the Cheesecake Factory restaurants that I’ve been to have been in uppity shopping areas loaded with “working professional” females.*

    *Not the corner type.

  13. Looks like we could have us one of them Aunt Juanita types here. I mean, looking at her, her ethnicity is definitely not pure white bread. So she best be getting her hiney back on that Dem plantation before she gets a good floggin.

    Former Miss America running for Congress

    1. Beauty queens are all Rethuglicans because of the cut-throat nature of pageants.

    2. As Miss America, Harold focused her platform on combating bullying and violence in schools, as well as advocating abstinence from sex, drugs and alcohol.

      her drug-fueled pron tape to be released in 3.. 2..

    3. Not that I think she’s ugly, but really America, that’s the best you could do?

      1. I think you could pick almost any beauty pageant queen anywhere and find a good number of women in that place who are better looking. I think she’s attractive, and certainly not the worst looking beauty queen I’ve ever seen IMO

  14. I find this thread a perfect place for ‘no homo’ because Rand is the Man.

  15. Rand Paul is a real man. The jury is still out on his hair however.

  16. Dude is a complete loser.

    http://www.WorldPrivacy.tk

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