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Civil Liberties

Justice Department Sees No Need For a Warrant To Snoop Your Email

J.D. Tuccille | 5.8.2013 7:17 PM

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The latest news in the ongoing saga of just how frigging snoopy our overlords in Washington, D.C., are won't surprise anybody who has been staying abreast of news of the nosy. After all, we already know the federal government is inducing communications companies to spy on customers by promising not to enforce privacy protections and by threatening to fine online companies that make it difficult for the feds to grab our data. So, it's little surprise that the legal eagles at the U.S. Department of Justice think that full Fourth Amendment protections just don't apply to online communications. 

From CNet:

The U.S. Department of Justice and the FBI believe they don't need a search warrant to review Americans' e-mails, Facebook chats, Twitter direct messages, and other private files, internal documents reveal.

Government documents obtained by the American Civil Liberties Union and provided to CNET show a split over electronic privacy rights within the Obama administration, with Justice Department prosecutors and investigators privately insisting they're not legally required to obtain search warrants for e-mail. The IRS, on the other hand, publicly said last month that it would abandon a controversial policy that claimed it could get warrantless access to e-mail correspondence.

The U.S. attorney for Manhattan circulated internal instructions, for instance, saying a subpoena—a piece of paper signed by a prosecutor, not a judge—is sufficient to obtain nearly "all records from an ISP." And the U.S. attorney in Houston recently obtained the "contents of stored communications" from an unnamed Internet service provider without securing a warrant signed by a judge first.

The American Civil Liberties Union points out that the DOJ takes its position on warrant-free access to email "even after a federal appeals court ruled that doing so violates the Fourth Amendment."

In 2010, the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals decided in United States v. Warshak that the government must obtain a probable cause warrant before compelling email providers to turn over messages to law enforcement. But that decision only applies in the four states covered by the Sixth Circuit, so we filed our FOIA request to find out whether the FBI and other agencies are taking advantage of a loophole in the outdated Electronic Communications Privacy Act (ECPA) that allows access to some electronic communications without a warrant. Distressingly, the FBI appears to think the Fourth Amendment's warrant requirement doesn't always apply.

Different U.S. Attorney's offices appear to be following different standards, the ACLU continues, even when they officially insist that they're following the Warshak standard.

Basically, the feds will scoop up every bit of information they can, subject to as few limitations as possible, until somebody makes them stop.

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NEXT: Deputy Charged for Smuggling Illegal Immigrants

J.D. Tuccille is a contributing editor at Reason.

Civil LibertiesScience & TechnologyFourth AmendmentSearch and SeizureInternet
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  1. Episiarch   12 years ago

    Basically, the feds will scoop up every bit of information they can, subject to as few limitations as possible, until somebody makes them stop.

    And who can make them stop? A federal appeals court has made its ruling, now let it enforce it. I mean, I would bet a ton of money that the feds already do egregiously unconstitutional shit all day long and just hide that from the courts.

    1. robc   12 years ago

      encryption.

      Encrypt every email, phone call, text message you send.

      Yeah, that wont protect you if the person on the other end wants to decrypt them, but dont make it easy on the fuckers.

      Note: I only do, partly, 1 of these three. My txt msgs are encrypted on my phone. They arent over the wire, because no one I send to is using it too, but it will automatically if they are using it.

    2. CE   12 years ago

      Wouldn’t my email be part of my “papers and effects” that the Feds are prohibited from searching without a warrant?

      Oh wait — there’s no paper, and no material effects…

      1. SweatingGin   12 years ago

        Because fuck you, that’s why.

        It’s right there in the constitution.

  2. Res Publica Americana   12 years ago

    Encryption is a godsend.

    1. Night Elf Mohawk   12 years ago

      This. It’s not as ideal as the government’s butting the hell out, but if I want to send emails they can’t read, it’s pretty straightforward.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

        Remember the clipper chip? The NSA saw this coming back in the 90’s.

        1. Night Elf Mohawk   12 years ago

          I remember that it imploded, at least in part due to the availability of PGP and the like.

          1. Mr Whipple   12 years ago

            Yeah,

            They can have my Escrow Key when they pry it from my cold dead keyboard.

            Anyways, GnuPG pretty much put an end to that.

            1. CE   12 years ago

              They already have it.

              1. Mr Whipple   12 years ago

                Highly unlikely.

    2. Mr Whipple   12 years ago

      Enigmail fits in nicely with Thunderbird. And if you are using KDE desktop with a linux distro, KGpg interfaces nicely with KMail.

      Of course, there is always Tormail for true end-to-end.

      Just make sure you don’t have FinFisher on your system.

      1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

        I’ve found that spanging goes nicely with thunderbird.

      2. SweatingGin   12 years ago

        First time i saw anything on FinFisher (and I work in tech, usually am up on these things.)

        Apparently I need to do some serious security checking on my computers.

        1. Mr Whipple   12 years ago

          What’s up with the squirrels?

          1. SweatingGin   12 years ago

            Honestly, I’ll read up on it tomorrow, but the price in the intro to the Wikipedia article seemed shockingly low,

            1. Mr Whipple   12 years ago

              The second link I posted is a full pdf report with the latest. Some of it is a bit over my head, and there doesn’t seem to be much about how it infects Linux distros.

        2. Mr Whipple   12 years ago

          http://tinyurl.com/bumqf7z

        3. Mr Whipple   12 years ago

          Full report [.pdf]

          http://tinyurl.com/cnk9s7s

  3. americanexile   12 years ago

    Hope and change, baby!

    1. Sevo   12 years ago

      “Hope and change, baby!”
      But it’s *all* Bush’s fault! See, Bush makes Obozo do this stuff. He just does!

      1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

        See below…

  4. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    …the U.S. Department of Justice think that full Fourth Amendment protections just don’t apply to online communications.

    If the Founders wanted our electronic communications free from warrantless scrutiny, they should have enumerated that in the Bill of Rights.

    1. Suthenboy   12 years ago

      Would email fall under the definition of ‘effects’?

      1. Night Elf Mohawk   12 years ago

        Isn’t their “argument” that if a third party has the info then you don’t have an expectation of privacy and the 4th doesn’t even apply?

        1. Libertymike   12 years ago

          If the founders wanted our electronic communications to be subject to warrantless scrutiny, they should have given that power to Congress.

          1. Night Elf Mohawk   12 years ago

            Did the Constitution give Congress the power to investigate counterfeiting?

  5. Palin's Buttplug   12 years ago

    Unfortunately the Bushpigs set 4th Amendment violations as accepted law in the 2003-2008 timeframe with retroactive immunity from prosecution.

    And yes, then Senator Obama voted in favor of.

    Fuck them all in this case.

    1. Smilin' Joe Fission   12 years ago

      Fuck them all in almost every case.

    2. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

      I was in Manitoba during those years and have heard nothing about that.

      Could you possibly tell me more about these “Bushpigs”?

      1. fish   12 years ago

        Could you possibly tell me more about these “Bushpigs”?

        Yeah…they’re like total CHRISTFAGS.

        1. Irish   12 years ago

          When a Bushpig and a Christfag mate, they produce a Beckerhead or a Wingnut depending on what chromosomes they pass on.

          1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

            When a Bushpig and a Christfag mate, they produce a Beckerhead or a Wingnut depending on what chromosomes they pass on.

            I don’t believe in evolution so I am dubious of your assertion.

          2. Palin's Buttplug   12 years ago

            A Beckerhaed lacks any chromosome at all.

            1. Boisfeuras   12 years ago

              You have a few to spare though.

        2. Palin's Buttplug   12 years ago

          What would this place be without my superlative vocabulary?

          1. Anonymous Coward   12 years ago

            Vastly improved?

            1. Francisco d Anconia   12 years ago

              Vastly improved?.

              FIFY

              1. Irish   12 years ago

                Vastly improved?.!

                1. Palin's Buttplug   12 years ago

                  Jealous bitches.

          2. SweatingGin   12 years ago

            A carceral panopticon?

          3. Alack   12 years ago

            I will admit to liking “Christfags”. Not for all Christians or Republicans or conservatives, but there are times when it seems like a good way to describe someone.

      2. Mr Whipple   12 years ago

        Could you possibly tell me more about these “Bushpigs”?

        I think it is a cross between a hog and a bushbaby.

        http://www.namibian.org/travel…..aby_fs.jpg

        1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

          Awwwww…

          I want one!

  6. Irish   12 years ago

    Rep. Steve Stockman is hilariously trolling anti-gunners.

    Here’s a representative examlpe of an anti-gunner’s response.

    1. Sevo   12 years ago

      “Here’s a representative examlpe of an anti-gunner’s response.”
      Bloody shirts just ain’t gonna jump up and wave themselves! They *need* sleazy assholes to do it.

    2. Coeus   12 years ago

      Speaking of trolling, Marcotte has gone completely insane and is now trolling other commenters in her own article.

      Check it now, before she comes to her senses and removes the evidence.

      1. Irish   12 years ago

        ASkepticalLiberal ? 7 hours ago ?
        I often disagree with you, Amanda, but I thought that this was an excellent column.

        I love the image of someone getting up at a wedding and shouting, “He beats the dog!” That would sure give the guests something to talk about while they’re waiting for their salad!

        lilin ASkepticalLiberal ? 5 hours ago ?
        Amanda is often a smart observer, but can’t take any criticism. If you criticize her, she is convinced it has to be through some moral failing on your part. I still remember when she put up a post equating a snuggie to the fall of western society and any ethical standards in the land, and then when people questioned her, she started repeating, “Aesthetics are important!” over and over.
        5 1 ?Reply?Share ?

        Amanda Marcotte ASkepticalLiberal ? 7 hours ago
        Oh go away, you are unbelievably tedious.
        12 6 ?Reply?Share ?

        Pickwick2 Amanda Marcotte ? 3 hours ago
        You know, you really are coming off as an ass today.

        Wonderful.

        1. Coeus   12 years ago

          Amanda Marcotte ASkepticalLiberal ? 7 hours ago ?
          He stroked his unkempt beard lovingly, taking time to scratch the hefty portion of it on his neck, even though he knew it bothered the fleas. “I will graciously let the she-thing know that while her inferior lady brain makes it difficult for her to be as searingly correct about the world as I am,” he muttered while putting another ancient Twinkie in his mouth, “She still occasionally gets something correct. I hear females do enjoy compliments.”

          Amanda Marcotte ASkepticalLiberal ? 5 hours ago ?
          http://25.media.tumblr.com/2d0…

          Sorry that your pompous, condescending mansplaining doesn’t impress me as much as you’ve instructed me to be impressed.

          Amanda Marcotte ASkepticalLiberal ? 3 hours ago ?
          The problem is that you seem to think anyone cares if you’re mad. Au contraire. We are hoping you get so mad you pick up your pompous ball and go play condescending dick in someone else’s sandbox.

          1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

            Just read the full exchange.

            What a bunch of assholes. All around assholes. The guy is fucking annoying as hell, but they gang up like a bunch of bitchy teenage girls.

            Fucking bitter shrews will die alone, and skeptical liberal will die, like he was born, dickless.

            Jesus.

            1. Irish   12 years ago

              Yeah, I hated everyone there. Skeptical libertarian is a bitch of a concern troll who can’t stop whining about how mean the girls on Raw Story are being to him, and the girls on Raw Story are shrill idiots who read the rantings of a dipshit like Marcotte.

              Everyone in that conversation is terrible.

              1. juris imprudent   12 years ago

                Dude, if you insist on destroying braincells you should at least catch a good buzz out of it.

                1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

                  Well, I had to get drunk after reading those comments, does that count?

          2. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

            He stroked his unkempt beard lovingly, taking time to scratch the hefty portion of it on his neck, even though he knew it bothered the fleas. “I will graciously let the she-thing know that while her inferior lady brain makes it difficult for her to be as searingly correct about the world as I am,” he muttered while putting another ancient Twinkie in his mouth, “She still occasionally gets something correct. I hear females do enjoy compliments.”

            I think she might be poaching from some of SF’s fiction. She’s just a corpse rape away from describing Krugman.

            1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

              I think that doc saccharin would take issue with your assessment.

              All that Marcotte did was finally write something honest.

              1. Coeus   12 years ago

                That is how she honestly views all her detractors. I’ll bet, anytime anyone mentions Duke Lacrosse, she mumbles “stupid neckbeards and their rape-enabling standard of reasonable doubt” under her breath.

              2. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

                You don’t like the idea of Marcotte being a huge SF fan and badly wanting to emulate him?

                1. juris imprudent   12 years ago

                  Look, if Marcotte was really going to emulate SF she would be writing about pegging the neck-beard with her steel spiked dildo.

                  Otherwise, don’t insult SF with such comparisons.

      2. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

        Call the police

        These people really do think of authority figures as magical talismans.

        “Hello, police. I’m calling from across the country because the last time I was in your city my friend told me that her fiance kicked her dog. Their address is… Why are you laughing?!”

        1. Libertymike   12 years ago

          One guy, upset that a female poster called him an asshole, tried to establish his bona fides by noting that he hates libertarians and MRAs.

          Had to check some urban dictionaries to learn that MRAs are men’s rights activists.

          1. Irish   12 years ago

            It really is religion to them. ‘What I said is of no relevance! LOOK! I HATE THE HERETICS! BURN THE HERETIC!’

          2. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

            I think the MRA people are obnoxious for a separate set of reasons, but why any man would want to join the marxo-feminist camp is beyond me. What a squirming worm of a little man.

            1. ant1sthenes   12 years ago

              Men need to help educate other men to understand that there are less demeaning ways to go about getting laid.

    3. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

      I don’t use the twitter, how do you find the replies that people have made?

      It’s thirsty Wednesday and I need salty tears.

      1. Irish   12 years ago

        It’s pretty tedious because none of them actually responded to his post, they just retweeted it and then whined on their own pages. You’d have to click on the people who retweeted and look at their pages, which would be an annoying hassle.

        Don’t worry though, I’ve got you covered! Apparently twitchy did a post about this and there are some nice, salty tears on there.

        1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

          That’s what I tried, but gave up because it was a pain in the ass, as some (a lot) people genuinely want to win an AR.

          Thanks for the link…

          *isn’t the hash tag thing just about the most annoying thing in the universe #hatetwitter

          ARRGGGG!

          1. Irish   12 years ago

            My favorite:

            @ReElectStockman You really are an unpleasant blowhard of a man, aren’t you?Reprehensible of an elected official to encourage gun violence.

            Yes, clearly giving someone a gun is going to ‘encourage gun violence.’ This is why America has 100,000,000 gun deaths ever year. Because everyone who owns a gun uses it to kill.

      2. Palin's Buttplug   12 years ago

        I have a twitter account although I have only “tweeted” 2-3 comments.

        I mainly set it up as a placeholder.

        1. Irish   12 years ago

          Apparently a lot of people use twitter just to follow people and get news. Like a third of twitter users never actually tweet, they just follow other people.

        2. H. ReardEn   12 years ago

          Is there high demand for the screen name ‘Palin’s Buttplug?’

  7. Paul.   12 years ago

    The U.S. Department of Justice and the FBI believe they don’t need a search warrant to review Americans’ e-mails, Facebook chats, Twitter direct messages, and other private files, internal documents reveal.

    Is this an old post from 2002? Because the Obama administration is in charge now.

    1. Smilin' Joe Fission   12 years ago

      When Obama said most transparent, he was referring to your privacy. You shall have no privacy, you shall now be transparent to the government. MOST TRANSPARENT ADMINISTRATION EVER.

  8. L13   12 years ago

    “if you’re not doing anything wrong….”

    I wish I’d been born about 40 years earlier, so I could hope to have died by now. The full-speed forward rush to a fascist dictatorship in this country by the great mass of the population is the greatest tragedy I can imagine in human history. The “shining city upon a hill” is quickly become the worst gulag in the swamp.

    1. Smilin' Joe Fission   12 years ago

      The Ohio state speech Obama made blew me away. The mask is now completely off.

      1. Suthenboy   12 years ago

        Same here. All of his speeches are full of collectivist bullshit, but that one was bad. I kept thinking that if he had given that speech in my grandfathers day he would have been dragged out into the street and strung up on a lamp post.

        1. Anonymous Coward   12 years ago

          RACIST?

          HALF-RACIST?

          MUSSOLINIST?

        2. ant1sthenes   12 years ago

          Of course, if he looked at white girl the wrong way in our grandfathers’ day he would have been dragged out into the street and strung up on a lamp post, so that isn’t really saying much.

    2. SweatingGin   12 years ago

      Don’t feel so bad — there’s a lot of bad now, entire generations of statists, new ways of droning, and all kinds of other things. But there are things happening that will make that irrelevant.

      The welfare state is out of money. 18% rule hits in the us. No matter what the progs do, they won’t take more than 18%gdp. Sure, it’s a lot, but they can’t stop themselves. They say spending 23% of GDP is austerity. The state will fall apart.

      We’ll be able to print anything. Gun control is useless, because you can print one, and use it to get a non-printed one.

      Bitcoin makes their taxes irrelevant. As that takes hold, only voluntary exchanges.

      You’re seeing the death of the nation state. It’s exciting. I wouldn’t miss this for the world, be glad you get to be in on it.

      And buckle up.

  9. Anonymous Coward   12 years ago

    General Electric’s Newest Spokesman?

    Agent Smith.

    Because when I think of secure systems and healthcare, I think of denraged, body-snatching, computer viruses in the middle of an existential crisis.

    1. Jordan   12 years ago

      Because when I think of secure systems and healthcare

      That’s what you think of when you think of GE? You’re too kind. I think of a bloated parasite.

    2. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

      What is with big ass companies that don’t sell shit to the public buying ads on teevee?

      Is it to plump us up before the feast, i.e. soften us up when they start stealing tax dollars?

      1. Coeus   12 years ago

        What is with big ass companies that don’t sell shit to the public buying ads on teevee?

        Better off Ted had it right.

        1. Alack   12 years ago

          God, I loved that show. Those commercials alone were better than 90% of sitcoms.

      2. Ted S.   12 years ago

        They’re advertising to the Washington bureaucrats who approve purchasing decisions. Why do you think they advertise on the Sunday morning shows that nobody else watches?

    3. SweatingGin   12 years ago

      If you pick the red sucker, you have to take it and throw into the volcano in mordor.

    4. ant1sthenes   12 years ago

      I don’t get it. Why is a half-elven ruler pimping technology?

  10. Anonymous Coward   12 years ago

    Chris Matthews on Benghazi:

    It’s about the video. Everybody knows it’s about the video. Read the papers.

    Oh Chris!

    1. Sidd Finch   12 years ago

      It’s hilarious how often the DC makes fun of Matthews considering Carlson was his colleague at MSNBC.

      1. Anonymous Coward   12 years ago

        Who better to make fun of you than someone who knows just how big a piece of shit you really are?

    2. SweatingGin   12 years ago

      Did anyone else get a tingly up their leg?

  11. Arnold Rimmer   12 years ago

    A savvy individual could turn this invasion of privacy against the pervert control freaks by filling up their email communications with exculpatory statements.

  12. Dunphy (the real one)   12 years ago

    It really is good advice for people to ENCRYPT and it really is amazing how few do. I can’t recall the last hard drive I searched that had (apparent) encrypted files/volumes, etc. Granted, some encryption programs are pretty good at hiding the mere presence of the encrypted files, but still – over and over again, when I get a hard drive to search, the thing is full of unencrypted goodies. It’s a combination of laziness and hubris. But this is people’s LIBERTY on the line, and they STILL don’t encrypt.

    1. Stilgar   12 years ago

      The People should not have to use encryption or anything else to be secure in their effects from our government.

      Unfortunately, the People also asked Mommy and Daddy to protect them from all that is evil, creepy or just unsettling in this world.

      And there is nothing to say the govt won’t compel you to turn over your key(s).

  13. Irish   12 years ago

    Rep. Steve Stockman continues his troll rampage.

    Right now Jodi Arias is regretting not killing an ambassador or Philadelphia infant.

    Hahahaha. Oh my God. This is what not giving a fuck looks like.

    1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

      I don’t even know what this guy stands for, but I like him.

      I love the people (who are undoubtedly bloody-shirt waving anti-gunners) excoriating him for using deaths to push a political agenda. Self-awareness, it’s not what’s for dinner.

      1. Irish   12 years ago

        I love the people (who are undoubtedly bloody-shirt waving anti-gunners) excoriating him for using deaths to push a political agenda. Self-awareness, it’s not what’s for dinner.

        The first person who attacked him for ‘using a tragedy for political purposes’ had this to say on May 6:

        Danielle ?@DCPlod 6 May
        Jesus Christ. It’s starting to feel like there’s fewer kids who *haven’t* shot and/or killed someone by accident.

        http://www.nbcnews.com/id/2739…..YcmO7WsiSo ?

        Well, gee. That almost makes her seem like a hypocrite.

        1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

          I knew that it’d be easy to find the hypocrisy, but not that easy.

          Two days?

          Jesus.

    2. Anonymous Coward   12 years ago

      I’d vote for just based on the fact that he makes snarky comments Twitter.

      1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

        Considering that one of two indistinguishable parties will inevitably win every election in this country, voting for the lulz is the only legitimate reason for skipping work one tuesday a year.

      2. Coeus   12 years ago

        And it’s hilarious watching some of the snarkiest liberals on the planet pretend to be offended.

        1. juris imprudent   12 years ago

          Pretend? Are you kidding – they are HUGELY offended that someone can snark them like that.

    3. Ted S.   12 years ago

      Holy shit that’s funny.

      To be honest, though, I followed the Jodi Arias trial even less than other high-profile trials, which I barely followed. So I don’t know what the media take was: was Arias the sort of person that they absolutely had to convict, like Casey Anthony, or was it “OMG she’s getting railroaded!” the way they treated Amanda Knox?

      1. Coeus   12 years ago

        She claimed abuse, so the feminists and their leftist brethren are claiming railroaded.

      2. Generic Stranger   12 years ago

        I think it was the former, judging on the bit I saw about her conviction on the nightly news.

        1. Ted S.   12 years ago

          Oh, nice. We’ve got competing narratives on this one. 🙂

          1. Coeus   12 years ago

            Could have something to do with the ridiculous (but mostly mainstream) sites I go to for lulz.

            All I know is, after reading a bit about it, I’m gonna have to be more careful about who’s face I ejaculate on in the future.

      3. Anonymous Coward   12 years ago

        First, she said she had no idea how her ex-boyfriend wound up dead with two bullets, twenty-seven stab wounds, and a slit throat. Then she said armed intruders did it. Finally she settled on “he was comin’ right for her” and “he made her do sexual things, therefore, homicide.”

        Obvious to say, the state was not impressed.

      4. Francisco d Anconia   12 years ago

        Honestly, who is Jodi Arias? Never heard of her before today. Killed her boyfriend or something? Why would anyone care? What’s the hook?

        1. Irish   12 years ago

          It was a graphic murder and she left him in her bathtub for like 5 days. Plus she’s pretty attractive. Standard tabloid news fodder.

        2. Heroic Mulatto   12 years ago

          Why would anyone care? What’s the hook?

          Mormonism, kinky sex, she’s fairly attractive.

    4. Jordan   12 years ago

      Haha holy shit. This guy is the master of trolling.

  14. SweatingGin   12 years ago

    Stockman (R-4chan)

    This should be some fun lulz to watch.

    1. juris imprudent   12 years ago

      (R-4chan)

      That made me laugh out loud.

  15. Agile Cyborg   12 years ago

    Yes, on another note- it’s odd. Something shady is going down on this secret tracking shit. I sent a local Sheriff an irritated note last year… One of his repugnant low-life scumbag deputies (who was later fired for threatening to kill the employees at a bank my wife worked at) killed one of my friend’s close relatives… over a perceived weapon that didn’t exist on a late night drunk in front of his house. We were partying in Columbus Ohio pretty hardcore and got the news about 11 o’clock at night… super buzz kill. The Wapak-trained scum shot the fellow in the back and killed him instantly… No news anywhere.

    It happened in Shawnee, Ohio in a trailer home. I was pissed and sent a level-headed note expressing discontent. I live waaaaaaaay out in the Ohio boonies… Oddly, the NEXT day I viewed a deputy drive by my house which is extremely odd considering I might see a fucking cop once every years out here.

    I wonder how many times this happens in America but few post the news anywhere.

  16. WomSom   12 years ago

    Th eJsutice Dept can suck my left nut!

    http://www.GotDatAnon.tk

    1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

      Finally, an on topic comment from anono-bot. I figured that you’d be all over this story hours ago.

      1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

        I for one welcome our newly sentient, anonbot overlords with open arms.

        1. Ted S.   12 years ago

          I for one welcome our newly sentient, anonbot overlords with open arms.

          I would have thought you had better taste. 🙁

    2. Ted S.   12 years ago

      Roll that beautiful bean footage!

  17. sticks   12 years ago

    OT: anyone see the post at popehat today? or was this already discussed?

    1. Irish   12 years ago

      The diaper one?

      1. sticks   12 years ago

        yeah. I laughed. i guess not much to discuss.

    2. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

      That’s fucking hilarious.

      Has anyone ever gotten the “fill out this survey” to read an article here?

      1. Irish   12 years ago

        This is my favorite type of Popehat post. Well, my favorite type of post is their pro-first amendment posts, but in terms of comedy, this one is pretty great.

        Whenever a spammer tries to contact Ken White about possibly writing for his website, Ken starts talking about his fear of ponies and how he needs help to do battle with them.

        1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

          That picture…

          Christ

          I like how the guy has the name Patrick non-White. Reminds me of this black comic from the 90’s named Steve White. He had a bit where he gets pulled over down south and the cop asks him if his middle name is Ain’t.

      2. sticks   12 years ago

        Ithink I did once. Could have been an other site. I filled out the survey hoping to get a text box at the end to share my thoughts in. no dice.

  18. SweatingGin   12 years ago

    free Charlie Brown. I only read the headline, but it reminds me of this:

    Peanuts, by bukowski.

    “O.K., Lucy. I’ll do it on more time, but that’s it. You hold it this time, got it?”

    1. SweatingGin   12 years ago

      Better link .

  19. Apatheist ?_??   12 years ago

    Fifa committee member from CONCACAF Chuck Blazer is banned under charges of embezzling over $20 mil 2 year after whistleblowing on his predecessor who may well have embezzled over $100 mil. Pretty much every confederation has had people banned for the same shit and Blatter keeps sitting pretty on top lying his ass off about no knowing anything.

    Fifa is corrupt as fuck, they even make the IOC and UN look clean. This is what global government and institutions look like and yet people keep advocating for concentrating power in a smaller and smaller number of places with top men in charge.

    1. Anonymous Coward   12 years ago

      At least he stole the money like a man instead of flopping on to it.

    2. sticks   12 years ago

      I don’t see why there couldn’t be competing organizations that put on international tournaments. Isn’t that the case with boxing? Maybe if there is enough discontent some national teams will organize competitions outside of FIFA. Probably not.

      1. Apatheist ?_??   12 years ago

        When they’ve got tens of millions to throw around in bribes it ain’t gonna happen. And really it’s not going to anyways, FIFA is more powerful than the IOC and the World Cup is at a minimum the 2nd biggest sporting event behind the summer Olympics. It would take UEFA separating itself to do any damage and UEFA is full of the same corrupt fucks.

        1. sticks   12 years ago

          I do see why it won’t appen. But a boy can dream, no?

  20. sticks   12 years ago

    I’m Still loving all the hate over Sanford.

    http://freethoughtblogs.com/ph…..-carolina/

    I figure it doesn’t matter much but a few more nays from SC in the congressional voting record makes me smile.

    1. Irish   12 years ago

      What is the left-wing logic for hating Sanford? Here’s Myers statement about Sanford from that post:

      So the mouthbreathers in South Carolina elected corrupt, lying, slow-witted Christian Mark Sanford to congress yesterday.

      What? How are any of those adjectives different from pretty much every politician? I also like that the dipshit PZ Myers adds ‘Christian’ to a list that otherwise includes nothing but personal insults, as if the act of being a Christian is on par with corruption.

      You know, for a site called ‘Free Thought Blogs’ they sure do spend an awful lot of time in a state of mindless hatred towards Republicans, while giving Democrats a pass for the exact same behavior. Doesn’t exactly seem like the thing free thinkers would do.

      1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

        There’s a lot of over-compensating, boring, mundane people that think that their atheism somehow makes them special and smarter than others. You’re seeing this misguided arrogance on display here. Those words are the words of a barely functioning moron, whose only spark of intellect is the ability to bleat as the sheep they surround themselves do.

        1. Irish   12 years ago

          PZ Myers is well regarded within his field. He’s not an idiot. It’s just that he thinks his knowledge within his field somehow makes him knowledgeable outside his field too.

          1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

            I checked his bio and he seems like a run of the mill bio professor. Not a complete idiot, but stephen hawking he ain’t.

            He seems to made much more of a name for himself by being a humanist gadfly rather than by doing science.

            1. Tman   12 years ago

              PZ is a leftist, also a brilliant evolutionary biologist.

              Unfortunately he’s part of the Dawkins Atheist crowd who are mistakenly convinced that the biblical creationists are taking over the world, and thus they must KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT FOR TEAM BLUE.

              Ignore the smoldering ruins of the political base from which you project your ideology, just keep up the good fight I suppose.

              1. sticks   12 years ago

                Unfortunately he’s part of the Dawkins Atheist crowd who are mistakenly convinced that the biblical creationists are taking over the world, and thus they must KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT FOR TEAM BLUE.

                There is some tasty drama between PZ and friends and Dawkins and friends and or others. Elevatorgate is the most well known I think. FTBULLIES is another. The two camps are always slinging shit back and forth.

                I’m not sure how much this infighting prevents them from jailing GW Bush.

                1. Irish   12 years ago

                  Elevatorgate has the distinction of being a time when skeptics, atheists and self-proclaimed rationalists all came together over the course of several magical weeks and steadfastly refused to behave like adults.

                2. Tman   12 years ago

                  None of it does prevent the bush jailing, but elevatorgate was easily one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever read about.

                  It was like a black hole of narcissism, resulting in both of the atheist sexes furiously masturbating alone.

                  Way to go kids, you really made everyone want to join the team now!

                  I fucking hate atheists more than I do creationists.

                  Creationists are openly mocked and fail miserably, atheists are rarely challenged and it shows.

                  1. Irish   12 years ago

                    Oh my God, the first time I read about elevatorgate for the first time I laughed until I cried. Everyone involved in that situation was so unbelievably pathetic.

                    My favorite is that Rebecca Watson girl who has to be the most insufferable human being to ever live. If I’ve only heard of you because of the time you trolled Richard Dawkins, you have no right to be as arrogant as that girl is.

                    1. Tman   12 years ago

                      Yeah, it was pretty sad. But also a perfect commentary on the failure of the left to come to terms with individual liberty.

                      Both teams fail to various degrees at preventing their extremists from choosing the direction their ideology sails, but few things are more hilarious than watching feminists argue that atheist men can be creepy.

                      Kids, don’t do teams. Teams are bad, mmmmkay?

              2. John C. Randolph   12 years ago

                I used to have fun with PZ playing whack-a-mole with the astrologits on sci.skeptic, back in my USENET days, and I enjoyed reading and commenting on his blog for some time too, but as he became better known, the blog really degenerated. It’s pretty much the same thing that happened to Little Green Footballs.

                -jcr

              3. John C. Randolph   12 years ago

                PZ’s view of religion is somewhat colored by the fact that as a well-known and outspoken atheist, he does get a fair number of death threats from creationists and other lunatics. This does tend to exaggerate the level of danger one sees from religious nut jobs’ attempts to gain political power.

                -jcr

  21. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

    Late NIGHT fun with the crepes man

    1. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

      on further thought I like this version better

  22. jimmy jean   12 years ago

    he U.S. Department of Justice and the FBI believe they don’t need a search warrant to review Americans’ e-mails, Facebook chats, Twitter direct messages, and other private files, internal documents reveal.www.vendreshoxfr.com

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