Drug Policy

[UPDATED] The Hakken Child Abduction Story Apparently Started With a Simple Marijuana Arrest


ABC Action News

UPDATE: Det. Daniel Seuzeneau, who it turns out is the public information officer for the Slidell Police Department, and not the officer who arrested Joshua Hakken, emails: "Mr. Hakken, as far as we know, was not at an anti-government rally. I never made that statement and don't know where that came from." 

It's been 24 hours since Joshua Hakken allegedly broke into his mother-and-law's house in Tampa, tied her up with zip ties, and left with his sons Cole and Chase–who are two and four years old–in his mother-in-law's car. Florida law enforcement authorities say the "anti-government" couple of Joshua and Sharyn Hakken are now on the run with Cole and Chase in tow. Law enforcement agencies in Georgia, Alabama, and Louisiana have all issued child abduction alerts, as well as disseminated pictures of the Hakken family. 

Over the course of those 24 hours, we've learned a thing or two about the Hakkens from law enforcement and the media. The story taking shape is both tragic and infuriating, as it appears from an interview with officials in Louisiana that the couple's problems do indeed stem from Joshua Hakken's 2012 marijuana arrest. 

Here's what we know at this point about the chain of events that led the Hakkens to "abduct" their own children:

  • Joshua Hakken, an engineer from Tampa, Florida, was arrested at an "anti-government rally" in a hotel in Slidell, Louisiana, on June 17, 2012; and charged with "Possession of Marijuana, Possession of Drug Paraphernalia and Possession of a controlled dangerous substance in the presence of a minor."
  • According to Det. Daniel Seuzeneau, the Slidell police officer who arrested Joshua Hakken a public information officer for the Slidell Police Department, Hakken "was under the influence of narcotics and also had narcotics inside his hotel room and he was speaking kind of out of his mind a little bit." 
  • Seuzeneau says that Department of Children and Family Services was called, the kids were taken, and Hakken was jailed for "maybe a week or so but not very long."
  • The children were placed in temporary foster care in Louisiana.
  • Allegedly armed with a firearm, Joshua Hakken tried to "abduct" his children from the foster care facility, and then left when he could not get inside.
  • According to multiple media outlets, a judge in Louisiana gave permanent custody of the Hakken children to Sharyn Hakken's mother in Tampa on Tuesday of this week. 
  • On Wednesday, Joshua Hakken broke into his mother-in-law's house shortly after her husband had gone to work, restrained her with zip ties, and left with the kids. Several hours later, his mother-in-law broke free and called the police. 
  • The Amber Alert issued by Hillsborough County (Florida) Sheriffs Department says the Hakkens "are anti-government," have "attempted a previous abduction at gun point in Louisiana," and "are considered armed and dangerous."
  • Joshua Hakken is facing two counts of kidnapping, two counts of interference in child custody, two counts of child neglect, one count of false imprisonment, burglary with a battery, and grand theft auto. If he was armed when any of that happened, Florida's 10-20-Life law could come into play. 

While I haven't been able to figure out anything about the "anti-government" rally Hakken was allegedly attending in Slidell, or what happened between June 2012 and Wednesday of this week, his and his wife's political beliefs are hardly the danger that law enforcement officials are making them out to be. From The Tampa Bay Times:

In February 2012, someone writing as "SailingBull" posted to the website for Adam vs. The Man, a forum "about challenging authority, sticking it to the man, and giving the millennial generation a voice."

"My name is Joshua Hakken," he wrote. "I am a father, a registered professional mechanical engineer and a veteran of the USAF. I am absolutely devoted to life, liberty, the rights of the individual and the Constitution of the United States of America. "

After saying that he had noticed that "things here in Florida have not added up for quite some time," he concluded, "in these crazy times, maintaining open communication lines for ideas, observations and news is absolutely crucial if the 'good guys' are to be successful in surviving to maintain the fight of ideas."

That same story includes several quotes from neighbors about how normal and pleasant the Hakkens are, save for a rather careless habit of smoking pot in their driveway. 

NEXT: City Fast Food Workers Protest Low Wages

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  1. They are heavily emphasizing the “anti-government” down here. Not sure if they’re legitimately fringe kooks or people who are known LP voters. It’s very distressing to hear, though, sitting here thinking, “Hey, I’m pretty anti-government, too.”

    My cellphone keeps sounding off with a very loud siren for Amber alerts. No idea how that’s happening.

    1. It is happening because that government you are not supposed to be afraid off told service providers they would do this, even if ther customer didn’t want it, or else. But yeah, after crap like that, it is the people that think government is out of control that are the problem…..

    2. They should just go ahead and call them anarchists, for the full demonization effect.

      1. Anarchists!?!?! Demonization effect?!!? Just go ahead and call them anti-Christs, OK? They are the same thing, right?!

    3. I think Verizon has rolled it out across the network, whether you care to have it or not.

  2. I’d do the same goddamned thing.

    1. Dam straight I would too!!!

  3. They are emphasizing ‘anti-government’ and ‘armed and dangerous’ to justify blowing them away when they find them. For the good of the children.

    1. Hopefully in full view of the children so that they’ll see what happens when one disobeys AUTHORITAY. /progtard

  4. He abducted his own children from the government.

    Here’s to hoping they make it to some place without extradition.

    1. The Netherlands?

  5. So the government goons abduct his children and imprison him for the non-crime of smoking a weed, and then charge HIM with interference in child custody and false imprisonment? Huh?

    1. Of course. Everything belongs to the state, including your children. You’re lucky when they let you keep them, as long as you toe the line. It’s the same as your property. Isn’t government grand?

  6. Jesus. At this point, anybody who’s not “anti-goverment” is a dangerous lunatic.

    1. I wish the media would dig into this stuff a bit more. If they’re screaming anti-government and all it means is that they are libertarians, that’s fucking bullshit.

      It’s entirely possible that they are whackjobs, but the fact that they’re potheads and maybe not the greatest parents ever doesn’t justify the kids being taken away, or this current insanity.

      You’ve got to think that if there was more bad to say about the parents, we’d be hearing it.

      1. The media doesn’t give the slightest fuck about reality. At all. An they are statist to the core. Of course they’re going to spin this this way.

        1. As a member of the media, I object to that characterization, Epi.

          1. That’s just what a statist hack would say.

          2. Okay, “Mainstream Media”.

          3. I apologize, Mike. Realize that my comments about the media automatically contain a default disclaimer that Reason media personnel are exempt from such blanket statements. Because, obviously, you are not like some CBS correspondent. You’re only slightly retarded instead of being completely retarded. And I mean that in the best possible way.

            1. Don’t apologize. An ALPHA never shows weakness.

              1. Give him a break. He is a recovering Omega.

              2. Shut up, loser. Don’t make me mount you to prove my dominance. Unless you want me to…

                1. Wow, this thread got to sodomy much faster than usual.

                  1. H&R is all rum, sodomy, and the lash.

                    1. Hey! I didn’t get any rum!

                2. mount me instead!

                  1. Mountings all around! Line up!

                  2. He has to mount Riggs. DUH

                    1. Good, more rum left for me, whilst they is a mountin’!

                    2. I’ll just take the lash, if that’s OK.

            2. Well, there are former reasonoids who shouldn’t be exempt from such blanket statements.

          4. Yes, present company excepted, of course. In my comment, I was thinking local media, anyway, since I’m in Tampa.

        2. The media doesn’t give the slightest fuck about reality. At all. An they are statist to the core. Of course they’re going to spin this this way.

          Sells more air time this way. Who cares that the lives of actual people may be affected.

          1. I’m a little concerned that the built up could result in some unnecessary shootings. There are kids involved, too, which makes that even worse.

            1. There really isn’t anyway this is going to end well for anyone involved.

              1. I get that feeling too. I think I’d put my money on murder-suicide when the net starts to close.

              2. No, RBS, this will end very well for some Hero Cops, prosecutors and CPS officers. And possibly the MiL since she can sell her story to Lifetime or similar media.

                Also, Patrick Kennedy and the other anti-pot crusaders are salivating.

            2. They don’t give a shit.

              Really it’s just a matter of time before they’re assassinating random innocent pedestrians on live TV with mechanical dogs.

              It’ll be the highest rated show on Fox.

      2. Dude the mass media in this country is part and parcel of the government.

      3. All the gun forums are blocked here, but according to Google, there’s a user named SailingBull from Tampa at Glock Talk and theKTOG.org. Might be worth digging through to get a clue on any views.

        1. Going through em now. Thanks for the tip.

      4. How on earth does smoking a bit of weed in front of your kids make you a bad parent anyway?

        1. Drugs are bad, mkay?

          Plus it will lead to other things, like heroin and believing you should have sex with jazz musicians.

    2. But, but … anarchy!

  7. This is awful… the system is going to grind these people up and destroy them, and use them as propaganda to expand its power, much like a despot drawing and quartering traitors in public and then displaying their decomposing remains in gibbets for the public to gawp at.

    1. My wife and I quit smoking when we had our son for this very reason. Well, she quit before me but anyway. All it takes is one asshole with a fucking badge and your life is ruined.

      1. Meanwhile people literally starve their kids to death or chain them in the basement and no one notices. These worthless fucks are too busy out picking on smokers and various other undesirables who might not be properly indoctrinating their children.

        1. Well when you consider the mountain of debt (taxes on future generations) that are being piled up would you expect anything less? The children of today have to be indoctrinated into becoming good little servile taxpaying (that’s the important part) sheeple who will simply submit.

      2. And it is terribly inconsistent too (don’t know if it’s more by state, or just dumb luck. I suspect that is varies a lot by state). I know several people who were busted with pot when they had young children and were never threatened with having their children seized.

        1. It basically falls upon the whim of the CPS social workers.

          1. It basically falls upon the whim of the CPS social workers witch finders.


        2. They probably didn’t show the proper deference to the suthority of the cops who busted them for pot or to the CPS shitstains who initially interviewed harrassed them about it.

  8. All people will see is “dangerous lunatic abducts children.” Fuck whoever decided to take these people’s children away for a simple pot arrest and fuck the people who allowed it to happen. And fuck Daniel Seuzeneau.

    1. THIS is what Facebook is for. Get out there early and let all your friends know what the “right” opinion is. At the very least they’ll think twice. Especially parents who could fuck up in their life at some point and worry their kids will be taken from them.

  9. It is a bit of a stretch but in some ways this goes right along with the seeming rash of cop and DA killings that have happened in the last week. You keep fucking with people and throwing them in jail and taking their kids and trying to run every little bit of their lives and eventually said people will start fighting back. It is the traditional criminal element at first. But eventually it does spread and it is one hell of a problem to stop when it does.

    1. If only that were true, John, but I think this is just a fluke.

      1. You know what changes it? The economy. When people are making money and doing well they have something to lose and are much more compliant. These fucks are so stupid they don’t understand that. As the economy gets worse, people are going to be more and more willing to stand up because they will have less to lose.

    2. We can only hope.

    3. I’m finding an analogy with the Dorner case.

  10. The sad thing is it actually is really stupid and irresponsible to do this considering the charges.

    two counts of kidnapping, two counts of interference in child custody, two counts of child neglect, one count of false imprisonment, burglary with a battery, and grand theft auto. If he was armed when any of that happened, Florida’s 10-20-Life law could come into play.

    How much time do you think you’re going to get with your kids if the cops ever catch up with you? These people are permanently fucked no matter what. Ugh, sadface.

    1. Yup. He might as well have gone and shot the family court judge and a couple of particularly loathsome CPS workers. He wouldn’t have been any more fucked and at least it might have given the other assholes pause the next time they decided to screw with someone.

      1. Seriously, he broke into a house, armed and tied up a woman who was home alone. A prosecutor here got a criminal sexual conduct conviction out of those same facts.

        1. what the fuck grandma? I’d have given the kids over and never said a word.

          1. Well it makes you wonder what her role in all of this was. Something tells me grandma did not have a good relationship with mom and dad.

            1. That was my first thought. Someone should look into it.

            2. And you know she’s going to be the subject of a made-for-tv movie about this.

              1. I think the grandma probably suggested they tie her up so she could have deniability about being involved. It bought them (hopefully) enough time to get away.

      2. He might as well have gone and shot the family court judge and a couple of particularly loathsome CPS workers… it might have given the other assholes pause the next time they decided to screw with someone

        Plus he would have at least accomplished something then. Since the media is hell-bent on portraying him as a dangerous lunatic anyway, since in their eyes snyone who doesn’t actively fellate the government is by definition a loon, he might as well have gone for broke. “Go big or go home.”

  11. Does anyone else keep reading their name as “Harkonnens?”

    1. are they from Finland?

    2. Well, he is rather fat.

    3. If he can just make it back to Giddy Prime he will be okay.

      1. Giddy Prime

        Now that’s a funny mis-spell.

        1. They should’ve used that in the Harvard Lampoon parody, Doon

          1. Was Maude Dweeb in that one?

  12. If I handed my (crying hysterically) 2 and 4-year old boys off to adult strangers to feed, dress, bathe, and tuck into bed, I’d be arrested for trafficking.

    1. Remember the Catholic church is evil because of child abusing priests. But the state, which operates foster homes and public schools that result in the molestation of thousands of kids every year is as pure as the driven snow.

      1. It’s a good thing we have a government, isn’t it? That’s the only thing that prevents children from being abducted by dangerous, heavily armed, power-mad baboons.

        1. It is not that we don’t need a government. It is that the government is a very dangerous thing. It is like fire. It is good to have a fire place. But you really don’t want it getting lose in your house. The government should be used to do certain essential things that only it can do and nothing else. When it gets into other ares only bad things result.

          1. Any evil that anarchy has, government has too. And government has the additional downside of making people accustomed to petty little atrocities like this.

            1. It’s almost like the world is occupied by people, some of whom are giant assholes and the level of government really doesn’t affect that.

        2. Uh, I’m pretty sure people’s kids are abducted by cops all the time. Duh!

          1. I think that was Warty’s point.

            1. Yeah, I know, just playing along.

      2. That’s the amazing thing. So many people who quite rightly criticize the Catholic Church for it’s handling of child abuse cases will fail to put any blame on the state generally for all of the awful deeds committed by its agents or promoted by its policies.

        1. It’s totally different, because…Christfags!!11!!!

      3. STFU, John. The presence of Evil Organization A does not preclude the existence of evil of Evil Organization B.

  13. They probably went to a tea party meetup, or something similar. Somebody at the meeting said – gasp! – that they were going to “take back our country!” OMFG ANTI-GOVERNMENT CRAZIES!!!

    I love how the media just ran with the label, without a single fucking clue about what it’s based on.

  14. OK, here’s put up or shut up time, IMO.

    If they show up at your door, I know no one here will call the fucking pigs on them.

    But do you shelter them? Counsel them? Give them money or help them find documents or a safe house? Get them out of the country?

    I wish I could do something to help these people.

    1. I would like to think I would have the balls to help them out. I sure as hell wouldn’t call the police on them. At the very least, I would give them cash on the theory that no one could ever prove I did it.

    2. I wonder if they have a PayPal address or something.

      You wouldn’t want to be charged with aiding and abetting, but how hard is it to set up a charity for the victims of precisely this kind of injustice?

      …that people could contribute to. A charity that could maybe help people in such situations–if you know what I mean.

      1. Will it include dead drops?

      2. Stories like this….I am on this email list called Sovereign Man. It’s all about keeping assets overseas, buying property overseas, and other expatriating type stuff. It was all kind of just for fun and general knowledge. But now….

        Plus, identity documents. I wouldn’t even know how to go about getting quality ids…not like a fake to buy beer for teenagers, like passports and high quality photo ID to start building a paper trail around.

        1. IDS are a real problem. Modern passports are a bitch to fake. And they are going with biometrics so much these days.

          1. I’ve never had to do a fingerprint, eyeball scan or DNA test at the border. The major change to passports has been the inclusion of RFID chips, but those are eminently cloneable.

            Making a passable print version would be much more difficult, but the advanced security features are actually pretty weak.

            1. I read Sovereign Man AND Schneier on Security…you guys just went up in my opinion…right on, next you should subscribe to Hacker News on ycombinator.

        2. Getting dual citizenship isn’t as difficult as you might think.

          And you can get residency documents even easier–which will let you live and work in a country (without being a citizen) while you’re working on your residency requirements (how long you need to be in the country).

          I knew lots of people who became dual citizens in Mexico that way. As recently as when I was there in 2010, you could still buy a house on the beach on the Gulf (waves coming up within 50 meters of your house) for about $50,000 U.S. And you could buy other properties further inland for less.

          If you own property in a lot of countries, it becomes a lot easier to get a residency permit. And once you get the residency permit, you can open a bank account. And once you can do that, as long as you don’t do anything to get yourself deported, that’s pretty much all you need–to stay there indefinitely.

          Incidentally, bureaucracies and such don’t work the same way everywhere else as they do here. If the rule is “x” here in the U.S., then that can’t be changed, but in places like Mexico, just because the law says the bureaucracy can’t do something, that doesn’t mean it can’t be done. That may just mean that you have to know the right people and pay the right fees.

          And you don’t have to navigate all of that yourself. You just hire an immigration attorney, with family roots in the local community. They can maneuver through all that stuff for you.

          1. One of the emails I got from them a guy had bought 50 acres of Chile, on the central coast, for 20,000 dollars.

            1. That’s what I’m talkin’ about!

              1. Actually if I can scrounge up the cash to expatriate, Chile is probably where I would go.

                1. I haven’t been there, yet, but that’s high on my list, too.

                  Go on vacation, first. I’d love to see the area around Barlioche, first, but the Argentinian government is kinda nuts–and it’s really hard for non-Argentinians to buy land within 50 miles of the border (with Chile).

                  So, Chile is really high on my list. You can buy great, remote land along the coast, but I’m really interested in Patagonia.

                  Go on vacation, first! You can book some great trekking tours to Patagonia, and rent a car to explore all that coast. Even when I’m looking at land in Southern California, you never really know what a place is like until you’ve been there.

    3. If they show up at my door in CO, I will tell them they should’ve taken a left at Albuqurque.

    4. I’m a long way from Florida and in the opposite direction of the nearest border for them, that said if these folks showed up at my door, at the very least they’d get a safe nights sleep and a hot meal and if after talking with them for a while I determined that they were really good parents who never should have had their kids taken from them I might very well help them get to the border

    5. I’d give them some cash for sure and maybe feed them or at least give them some food. It would have to be quick though, I have some incredibly nosy neighbors.

      1. I have two kids of my own I won’t risk losing. Plausible deniability goes out the window since I’ve posted on Facebook how they should be left alone with their own kids. Sorry folks. I’ll look the other way, but I’m not risking having my own kids taken away from me. I wouldn’t report them, that’s for sure. Nothing heroic about doing that no matter what the media or government says.

    6. The first rule of Freedom Club is…

      1. Wipe your feet before walking on the new carpet.

  15. How many states take away people’s children for proximity to marijuana?

  16. and he was speaking kind of out of his mind a little bit

    When asked for an example of Hakken speaking out of his mind, Det. Daniel Seuzeneau added, “He kept saying the word Constitution and something about an amendment. I have no idea what any of that means. I asked all the cops on the scene and no one had any idea. It must be some new drug. So we’re taking his kids away. That should end well.”

    1. An older guy I know from the local gun store told me a story once. In the mid 90s, after the OKC bombing, he got pulled over for some mickey mouse bullshit. He did the whole “Am I being arrested? Am I free to go?” litany and in disgust the cop asked “What the hell are you one of those constitutionalists? (said in a tone of utter disgust)” He answered (going off script) “Why yes I am. Are you one of those anti-constitutionalists?”

  17. He seems to be a competent sailor. And a gun enthusiast. Hopefully he makes it to South America.

    Here “SailingBull” starts to go off the rails with chemtrails: http://www.bilco.org/2012/04/1…..st-always/

    1. He could sail up to any beach in Mexico and stay there for a really long time before anybody that mattered ever asked them for a visa.

    2. A pair of brain surgeon they are certainly not.

      Still, stupid people have a right to have a family too, and the poor dumb fuckers were provoked into this.

      1. Agreed.

    3. A competent mechanical engineer and sailor with strong anti government tendencies, I’m reasonably certain there are some folks down Columbia way who can offer him a good paying job.

      1. My Pa tells me there are a few sea-accessible rivers in Guatemala that have suspiciously large non-Guatemalan populations. That’s another option.

    4. And the USAF/chemical weapons quote will now be plastered all over NBC, CNN, et al.

      Is the dude really a USAF vet?

      1. Apparently not. He was in the USAF academy for two years and had to be medically discharged.

    5. Could be affiliated with these folks, too. More chemtrails.


      Their facebook page is interesting as well. Cant paste the url here, though.

    6. This is interesting.


    7. Wow. Here’s a 2010 post by SailingBull on that secular homeschool site, in a thread asking “what made you decide to homeschool?”

      It’s hard for me to pick one choice from above:
      Health reasons: our oldest is deathly allergic to peanuts, not something I trust public school teachers to police.
      Philosophical reasons: I believe in limited public anything… especially education. if the goverment is providing it, two things are certain: it’s inferior, it costs at least 10 times more than it’s superior private competition.

      I want my children to have a superior education: see above.
      I cannot afford private school and don’t know if I’d send them to one if I could.

      1. That sonofabitch! Take his kids. NOW!

  18. My Mom and Step-father (mentioned yesterday) smoked pot around us all the time. I hated it. But I was smarter than telling on them, though the DARE cops kept encouraging us to. Even then, I knew that I could not put my fate in the hands of the state to secure my well being.

    Yes, my father was abusive, and very much so… so much I sometimes wished I had killed him when he attacked me or my mother, but he still was not mightier than judge who would hand me over to some child molester.

    Even my dad smoked, and though I hated that too, he never raised his hand at me. I might have ended up with him, but hell… the judge awarded my Mom custody even with the abusive asshole she was living with. And even after they violated custody agreements and took me out of state for a year (kidnapping) I still had to stay with them.

    1. Ain’t family courts and their feminist misandry grand?

      1. people try to assure us that things have changed, but most of the time the mother is still awarded custody. There are times when the father has custody and the mother has to pay child support, but I’d say that margine is like 20:1. Hell, I’d almost wager that a grandparent or aunt is more likely to be awarded custody in a situation where the mother pays child support more often than if the father is awarded custody.

        1. And sadly, mothers are just as likely to be dead beats as fathers. And worse, kids who go to their mother are much more likely to be molested. Kids generally don’t get molested by the old pervert at the park. They get molested by their mother’s fucking boyfriend. That fact doesn’t fit the narrative so the media never touches it.

          1. You’re right about dead beat moms. I would bet the percentage is much higher. But that is usually because the woman is such a fucking loser, the state could not, in good conscience, automatically award her custody. So it would be no surprise she would not pay child support.

            1. It is much higher. Not even close. If by some miracle the father is awarded custody, his child support will be much lower, if it exists at all. And she’ll probably flake on it. Oh, and if she does flake, she is not likely to lose visitation rights, like a man does when he’s behind on his child support. Which of course, is not paid in the form of grocery vouchers or tuition, but cash to mom’s pocket.

              1. Yeah, pretty much. My dad kept a receipt book with him and always made sure it was well documented when he gave her child support. I don’t think he ever missed a payment.

                Nowadays, it’s routinely garnished from wages.

                1. Plus if her lawyer was a real shark, the guy can be physically unable to pay it, then he goes to prison. Which is functionally like the return of debtor’s prison.

                  1. There is a minimum payment, which is based on minimum wage. I know, I used to work in Child support. There were calculators used to determine how much a person has to pay based on the combined income of the two. Then the one who makes higher based on the percentage of the two incomes has a higher portion of child care. So then they take the percentage of the non-custodial parent and make that person pay out of their paycheck on it.

                    It probably depends on the state. I’m sure each one has its own metrics.

                2. And a lot of the time when it is garnished from wages, it goes straight to the state.

    2. meant to say step-father was abusive, not my father. My father never laid a hand on me that I could remember, even when I deserved a good ass whooping.

      1. If I had an ex wife who was married to some shit bag who beat my kid, I would probably end up in prison for at least maiming and maybe double murder.

      2. WTF is wrong with your mom? Is she still married to the abuser?

        Sorry to hear your story. That sucks man.

        1. No. She left him after 13 years of marriage. I was probably 16 at the time, I think. I went to live with my Dad when I was of the age I could decide for myself (12 or 13).

          No, my mother’s current husband is much, much better.

          Last I heard about my former step-father, he’s living out in the woods somewhere, addicted to meth, and probably going to die soon. Good riddance.

        2. Unfortunately “battered wife syndrome” is an all too real thing. I had a neighbor who was living with an abusive alcoholic boyfriend a couple of years ago.

          It started with emotional/ psychological abuse (it usually does) and eventually escalated into a physical assault one night. She still didn’t get a restaining order against him or press charges. Fortunately in the state of CO a third party can get a protection order on someone else’s behalf, and in the case of domestic violence the victim doesn’t have to formally file charges if there are witnesses to the incident (there were), so my wife filed the protection order and he had charges pressed anyway. Haven’t seen the SOB since. Not sure if it’s because of the restaining order or the fact that I said I’d beat the shit out of him if I ever saw him again*.

          *If you want to get on my bad side, abuse a woman, child, or animal.

          1. Yeah, the experience has definitely given me some perspective. I know, first hand, what it is like to live in an abusive home. I want no part of it now or in the future. I think I only ever raised my voice once to any of my exes, but that was after I already broke up with her and she threw something at me and broke something of mine. I’ve argued, but never yelled

            If I get in a situation where I feel my anger getting the better of me, I just leave. I don’t want to be like him. and because of that, I don’t think I could ever use coporal punishment on any of my kids, even though I don’t have a problem with it, in theory. And any time I hear or see it happen, I cringe.

      3. It’s stories like yours that make me hate the world a little more every time I hear them. But, they also make me thankful that I had awesome parents who went relatively easy on me and only beat me when I really deserved it. Still, it’s nice to see that you were able to come out of that mess intact.

        1. Well, I had good people around me that kept me away from the bad path, particularly my grandmother.

    3. My father (also abusive) smoked (pot) around us all the time when we were younger and frankly it never bothered me a bit. Honestly I much preferred it when he was high to when he was drunk, it was when he was drunk that he was violent, when he was stoned he was actually rather pleasant to be around.

      1. Yeah. I would much rather be around the worst stoner than a violent drunk.

        1. well, some stoners are pretty stupid, and do some really stupid shit. I’ve seen people blow smoke in their kids’ faces, or even make them take hits.

          But yeah, that’s still a bit better than punching and kicking a small child… or throwing them down the stairs of an cheap apartment complex (you know.. those metal and concrete ones) in my case when I was 5.

      2. He wasn’t pleasant to be around much at all. My Dad acts like a complete idiot when he was on the stuff. I guess the propaganda of it had gotten to me, and just seeing it personally in my life.

        I’d been around it almost all of my life until I was on my own at 18. Occasionally was someone using it while I was around.

        Alcohol, however… that is my drug of choice. I was never an angry drunk. I range from the happy, giggly kind to the sad and depressed kind. Only once did I become paranoid, but a bottle of Jack in about 30 minutes will mess most people up, I’m sure.

    4. That’s such a messed up situation to be in.

      Sorry you had to go through that.

      I left for boarding school when I was 14–worked my way through. Otherwise, God only knows what might have happened.

      It’s amazing how libs and progs are so obsessed with the government protecting the most vulnerable members of our society, but their agenda never seems to get around to fixing our family court system or foster care.

      1. the only ones who should apologize are the judge and that asshole who abused me.

        I was able to get out of that situation, but my little sisters still had to endure him since he was their father.

  19. If the cops and DA are smart, they’ll hold a press conference swearing that they will drop all charges if these people take their kids to the nearest police station and begin the process of resolving this issue. Hell, go so far as to have the Governor sign a pardon for them on live TV.

    Threatening them with charges that will ensure they never see their kids again isn’t the best way to bring this to a safe and amiable resolution. The cops are driving these people to either kill or be killed. I can’t see it ending any other way unless they back off.

    1. Well, on the one hand, the state did leave them with family. They could have left them with child molesters or some other child abusers. If this turns south and the parents are killed, hopefully the kids survive and are put back with the grandmother. If they were to choose foster care with strangers, then it’s like playing russian roulette.

      1. How much to you want to bet that the grandma is some crazy religious bitch who called CPS in the first place?

        Maybe she didn’t like her daughter’s pot smoking habit and thought it was her duty to sue for custody of the kids to protect them from the Demon Weed.

        1. That’s my working theory, though not necessarily the religious part.

          1. statism is a religion.

    2. If the cops and DA are smart

      Well that is your first problem right there.

    3. They will never back off of anything. It doesn’t matter how many people get killed, their authority boners are at stake.

      1. Just like the paper delivery women and the random dude driving to work that got lit up in the Dorner manhunt.

        Funny. That seems to have almost totally disappeared from the LA media. Meh, I guess it’ll pop back up when the taxpayers get the $10M settlement bill while the cops all keep their jobs.

    4. Especially since law enforcement are legally allowed to lie they don’t even have to keep any promises.

  20. “It’s been 24 hours since Joshua Hakken allegedly broke into his mother-and-law’s house in Tampa, tied her up with zip ties, and left with his sons Cole and Chase–”

    Riggs, what the fuck is a “mother-and– law?

      1. Yeah, not really seeing the typo here.

      2. So she’s Judge Dredd? Awesome!

        1. Stop or my Mom will issue a warrant!

  21. stupid question: why did CPS take the kids away from the mom too?

    1. Yeah, I wondered that myself.

    2. Maybe she stood by her husband instead of being a victim?

  22. I certainly would like to here more about this so-called “anti-government” rally.

    Let’s imagine for a moment that perhaps, as seems totally reasonable, that one of this issues being protested at this “anti-government” rally was the drug war, and specifically the prohibition of marijuana.

    In the course of this event said protests display marijuana and bongs and maybe smoke some marijuana in a public display of civil disobedience. Then they get arrested, as you might expect for an act of civil disobedience.

    And then Child Protective Services takes they kids away? And they lose PERMANENT custody?

    We’re talking about punishing someone for exercising his first amendment rights with permanent loss of custody of his children.

    1. This bears repeating.

  23. I certainly would like to here more about this so-called “anti-government” rally.

    Let’s imagine for a moment that perhaps, as seems totally reasonable, that one of this issues being protested at this “anti-government” rally was the drug war, and specifically the prohibition of marijuana.

    In the course of this event said protests display marijuana and bongs and maybe smoke some marijuana in a public display of civil disobedience. Then they get arrested, as you might expect for an act of civil disobedience.

    And then Child Protective Services takes they kids away? And they lose PERMANENT custody?

    We’re talking about punishing someone for exercising his first amendment rights with permanent loss of custody of his children.

    1. An excellent point.

    2. This is the problem with the Family Court system and their minions. They can pretty much do whatever they want, whenever they want to whoever they want to do it to as long as their is some fact that gives the court jurisdiction.

    3. What are these “1st Ammendment rights” you speak of?

  24. OT: Home for lunch. Country ham and swiss cheese on pumpernickel bread, with some sweet and hot mustard. One cup of Easy Mac, because I fucking like Easy Mac, and washed down with Diet Dr. Pepper. The last of my Thin Mints to follow.

      1. Is there any other way?

        1. in a DQ blizzard? is also acceptable… although that’s frozen too, so no there is no other way.

    1. That’s a lot of bread. Are you sure you’re a former fatty?

      1. You’re a former fatty like you’re a former alchoholic. It’s a constant battle.

        1. No it isn’t. Squat more. KAMPF MIT DEM EISEN.

          1. It’s right there in the video. Kampf. Means battle. Struggle. Combat.

            I do need to do more with the iron. I mainly just walk/run and do bodyweight stuff.

            1. No shit. Kampf with something that’s worth kampfing with.

          2. I’m convinced that squat vs deadlift is just a matter of what you hate more: your knees or your lower back

            1. You. You, you are beyond saving. Leave us.

              1. After herniating a disk last summer I moved from squatting and deadlifting heavy (4×6-8 reps) to squatting higher rep with about half the weight, but more like 4×16-20.

                Am I an apostate? Meh, I don’t care. I like my spine and being able to walk more than I like any of you.

                1. That’s easier than doing it right, yes.

                  1. Sometimes when I’m going for a HIIT-style workout, I don’t use any weight at all!

                  2. These people cannot be saved Warty.

                    1. I don’t want to save these Crossfit types, I just want them the fuck out of my weight room. No, you cannot flail around on the goddamn bar like a hooked fish and call it a pullup. Get out.

                    2. I despise flailing pullups – and all other bastardizations of good form – as much as anyone I’ve ever known.

                      (For the record my herniated disk was not a squatting or deadlifting injury, my dumb ass took the sled on the 45* leg press as far down as I could, over and over and over again.)

                    3. The leg press is almost as retarded and useless as the leg extension. I’m willing to bet more people hurt their backs on the leg press, like you, than DL’ing or squatting.

                    4. Leg extensions are good if you ever find yourself in a seated ass-kicking contest.

                    5. Don’t worry, they’ll all either blow out their knees on the 115th front squat or rip off their Achilles by box jumping after deadlifting.

                    6. A few will expire from rhabdo aka “holy shit i’m pissing coke!”

                2. ^THIS^

    2. I started doing a low/no carb thing on Monday. So I’m going sliced salami, brie, mixed nuts, and some veggies. I’m hungry.

      1. You’ll feel like shit until your body realizes it’s supposed to metabolize glycogen from fat, then you’ll be fine. Eat more fat.

        1. Thanks. I’m doing it ’cause the wife and her friend started it. I have no information, and we’re making it up as we go. I’ll eat more fat.

          1. Baconate everything. EVERYTHING.

            Unless you start having gallbladder problems.

            1. Baconate everything.

              No problem, my friend. No problem.

              1. If you have easy access to a Sprouts (or Henry’s I think) they sell uncured bacon ends, which are just the bits and pieces that aren’t the right size for their standard packs of bacon. They tend to be more fat to meat than I would like, but also $1.25/lb. I use it for making bacon bits, mixing with eggs, or just use like pancetta.

                Sprouts’ house bacon is excellent and relatively inexpensive.

                1. Already there. http://pinterest.com/pin/430234570622498778/

                  OK. I’m going to make some lunch.

          2. Yeah, breaking yourself of the “fat is bad” mindset is tricky. Look at a piece of bread, slathered in butter, and telling yourself over and over again that the bread is the unhealthy party is really tricky.

            1. I never had a problem eating fat. It’s the potatoes, rice, and especially pasta that will be hard to quit. Today is Thursday. Spaghetti Thursday. I make the best meat sauce in the world. I WANT SPAGHETTI!!!

              1. Spaghetti is for cheap Wops. You don’t want to be like Episiarch, do you?

                1. doesn’t he eat giant calzones too?

                  1. If they are Chicago-style calzones, yes.

              2. Actually Spaghetti Squash makes a reasonable replacement for Pasta as a meat sauce delivery device

                1. Or as an olive oil and parmesan delivery device! MMMMMMMM

                  1. Spaghetti squash, olive oil, parmesan cheese, and spinach is quite good, actually.

          3. Read Atkin’s books, or Gary Taubes’ second book, I forget what it’s called. Those are pretty easy to read and work as decent primers on metabolism.

            And unless you’re really severely fat, there’s no real need to go too overboard, really. Just cutting out most sugars and most shitty processed carbs that come in a box is enough for most people.

        2. You’ll also be sad forever because there is nothing in the whole world better than carbs. Sad. Forever. But thinner!

          1. I prefer meat to carbs, but carbs are so easy and quick to fix compared to a good low carb meal.

            1. They are that. And now it’s time for my salad…

          2. I think I’ve linked this before, but it’s always worth re-reading whenever Atkins comes up.

            1. Wolves? You’re not tricking me into reading another one of your gay orgyporn stories again.

              1. Did I link you to SugarFree’s blog? No I did not.

              2. How is that different from gay Wartyporn?

                1. Wartyporn is like real life tentacle hentai. Orgyporn does not necessitate mind shattering otherworldly horrors.

  25. My father (also abusive) smoked (pot) around us all the time when we were younger and frankly it never bothered me a bit. Honestly I much preferred it when he was high to when he was drunk, it was when he was drunk that he was violent, when he was stoned he was actually rather pleasant to be around.

    Yeah. You never hear anyone talking about what a horrible childhood they had due to their parents being pot heads. Nobody ever says “yeah, my dad used to get really baked and then wail on us.”
    At worst, smoking weed will make them mildly neglectful.

    1. Yeah, but that mildly neglectful can still leave a kid with a lot of resentment, Hazel. Which, agreed, is far better than abusive, but still not ideal.

      1. Um, all sorts of parents are non-ideal. I’d wager there are very few if any ideal parents out there.

      2. Have you ever met someone who has a lot of resentment at their parents because they smoked weed?

        1. Not really, a friend of mine was consistently annoyed that her parents left their weed out when her grandmother was coming over. She felt like she was constantly picking up after them.

          That’s about the worst of it. Oh and my mother resents having to quit smoking pot because my father gets “weird” when he gets stoned.

  26. Since they face life in prison, I sincerely hope they take as many cops out as possible.

    The cost for the government to do something like this should be as high as possible.

  27. Upon reconsideration, I think we should not jump to conclusions about the grandmother. She couldn’t have just handed the kids back without incurring huge liability. So perhaps the breakin/restraint/kidnapping was real; or perhaps it was just to give her plausible deniability and provide a few hours head start and a clean-tagged getaway car for the Hakken family.

    Wishing the children well in this, and tentatively the Hakkens.

    1. Bingo. It might be that the best scenario for the whole bunch still available is for the grandma to get the kids. Which could not happen if she cooperated with the abduction.

  28. lol, how far do these rednecks think they are going to get? lol.


  29. We Are All Anti Government,Therefore We Are All Criminals And Will Be Dealt With Appropriately….Now Go Back To Sleep.

  30. This story infuriates me. The left wingers have absolutely demonized this man and fabricated a whole series of LIES and for what? A little personal stash of some marijuana? GODAMIT! FREE THE WEED and QUIT MAKING FKNG CRIMINALS OUT OF GOOD PEOPLE!!!

    Now the government has them labelled as ARMED AND DANGEROUS so why? So they CAN FKNG KILL HIM!

    And this is the land of the FREE and HOME OF THE BRAVE?

    God I hope he can get away! This country is going down the toilet at an exponential rate of speed!!!

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