Calls for Gun Control in Senate, Teen Shot in City that Already Has Lots of Gun Control, Drug Testing for Everybody in London: P.M. Links

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  • Her hair even looks a bit like Helen Lovejoy's.

    A teen who performed at President Barack Obama's inauguration last week was shot and killed in Chicago, which has very strict gun laws.

  • Former Arizona Representative and famous mass shooting survivor Gabrielle Giffords attended today's Senate Judiciary hearings to present the all-too-familiar "Won't somebody think of the children?" argument for something to be done.
  • London's police chief wants all workers to be tested for illegal drug use, and those who fail should get treatment or be fired.
  • A judge has ruled that Jerry Sandusky's lawyers had plenty of time to prepare his defense, and he will not be granted a new trial.
  • The U.S. attorney's office in Massachusetts may have another PR problem on its hands. They may have arrested and temporarily imprisoned the wrong man in a gang raid. Apparently he looked like a criminal. I bet most of us look like criminals to the U.S. attorney's office.
  • The FBI has raided the office of a Miami doctor who is suspected of helping provide underage Dominican prostitutes to New Jersey Democratic Sen. Bob Menendez. Menendez denies the allegations.

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  1. All govet employees should be tested weekly as long as there are prohibition lawa.

    1. *Hourly* — think of the jobs created!

      1. The only way I can pee this much is if you let me drink beer throughout the workday!

    2. most security clearance jobs do not require drug testing. Top Secret, sure… but below that, nope.

      1. Oh, very well. *Gun* testing, then.

        1. If a gun shows up in your urine test, you really need to see a doctor.

          And I hope it was hammerless.

      2. But the PFCs with rifles need to be drug tested! The guys deciding where they go and who to bomb? Not so much.

      3. Hey Matrix, can I quote you next time I get to pee in the cup. It sure would help if you could tell me where that policy is written, I don’t think telling my supervisor that Matrix said so will be enough.

        1. There is no requirement that someone with a Secret Clearance be tested. Your employer can choose to do so (contractors often do).

          Even those with Top Secret aren’t required but can be subjected to random testing.

    3. my co-worker’s sister makes $85/hr on the internet. She has been fired from work for 8 months but last month her paycheck was $20848 just working on the internet for a few hours. Go to this web site and read more… http://www.ace60.com

      1. I’m gonna do this…

        1. Yul thang yoursef. My ants ex-boifrend does this after getin layed oft. He just blurt himself a Lotus.

      2. Wow, that seems like a really good deal, Voss. How come you’re posting here instead of doing that yourself?

      3. Is that the same co-worker’s sister who likes to pull trains? She used to get a lot more than $85 an hour for that IIRC. I guess she is slipping, so to speak.

  2. Ron Jeremy starring in Critical Condition With Heart Aneurysm, Undergoing Emergency Surgery.
    Undergoing Emergency Surgery? That’s an odd name for a porn star

    1. Porn stars everywhere are at half staff.

    2. Must of had a serious heart on.

    3. Heart Aneurysm is the hottest starlet going; I think she’ll be a mainstream cross-over.

      1. Yes, she’ll get the coveted role of “Stripper #2” in an Asylum comedy.

    4. I just referenced Ron on a thread here a few days ago.

      1. What will you do with this (implied) power to induce aneurisms? At least before you’re burned as a witch?

        1. He might be heavier than a duck.

  3. The FBI has raided the office of a Miami doctor who is suspected of helping provide underage Dominican prostitutes to New Jersey Democratic Sen. Bob Menendez. Menendez denies the allegations.

    He needs to go consult with Spitzer right away on how to weasel out of criminal charges.

    1. Maybe Sandusky’s lawyers can give him the competent representation he deserves.

      1. We could only hope so.

      2. Or Bob Torricelli’s, Jim McGreevey, or Jon Corzine’s lawyers.

        Just don’t use Sharpe James’ or Tony Mack’s attorneys. How embarrassing it must be for a corrupt NJ politician to be convicted.

    2. But the Atlantic Wire assured me that the Distinguished Senator had absolutely nothing to do with his intern being an illegal immigrant and registered sex offender.

    3. But really, who asks Dominican prostitutes for ID?

      1. He should’ve just had a Secret Service agent punch the prostitute in the face when she asked for payment.

    4. What, he didn’t make enough as a doctor so he had to pimp on the side?

  4. Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe should start by testing the Metropolitan Police, or get sacked.

    1. They might end up having to replace the entire force with llamas.

  5. “They may have arrested and temporarily imprisoned the wrong man in a gang raid. Apparently he looked like a criminal.”

    Must have been an opium den full of Chinamen. A heroic US Attorney is understandably helpless against such devious malignity.

  6. Hey you know who else used underage Dominican Hookers? BOOOSH!!!

    Also this proves Menendez is not a Christfag because BOOOOSH!!

    1. Why is Senator Diaper Dave Vitter (R) who was known by DC prostitutes as a “mud blower” for his predilection for shitting diapers for them still in office?

      Oh- I know! He is “family values” GOP and they reelect him!

      1. What difference, at this point, does it make???!!!

        1. I know. Menendez is fair game for a right-wing blog attack but Vitter is off limits as an admitted john.

          EXACTLY THE SAME!

          Just like Iraq and Libya!

          1. Trafficking in underage prostitutes vs. insane, totally legal fetish. Yep, totally the same.

            1. Well consider the boy pedophile Rush Limbaugh and his DR Viagra jaunts? The same?

              What about the boy-bufffucking Holy Catholic Church?

              1. And? Please point to where Reason has defended them. I’ll wait.

              2. What about the boy-bufffucking Holy Catholic Church?

                Hey what goes on between you and T o n y stays between you and T o n y.

              3. Limbaugh is a pedophile? News to me.

            2. Stop talking to it…

      2. Does he also blog wearing urine stained pants?

        1. Who doesn’t?

          1. It depends.

            1. What you did there, I see it.

            2. I see what you did there, tovarische Doktor.

      3. What’s more family values than diapers?

    2. A sockpuppet of a sockpuppet. How tiresome.

      1. Eventually it will be sockpuppets all the way down.

        1. Quit sucking the GOP cock then! Every day it is NO FAIR TO ATTACK BUSH!!! IRAQ was OK! Patriot Act OK! Medicare Expansion OK!

          The GOP is really “small government” – wink wink!

          1. Every day it is NO FAIR TO ATTACK BUSH!!!

            Attack Boooooosh all you want shreek…..accept the mockery that comes with it.

            Remember were libertarians here…even you ….there was a test that you took I understand?

          2. Gosh, PB, how did you know I was secretly in favor of all of those items? Did those scary Christian talibans who will seize power any day now that you hang out with and never tell off let you know?

            Whatever you want to call yourself you’re a schmuck.

          3. IRAQ was OK! Patriot Act OK! Medicare Expansion OK!

            Prove it. Produce links to comments or shut the fuck up.

            1. Well quit lying that the GOP is “small gov”!

              Just fucking stop it!

              1. Yeah, those two guys who say it here really should stop it.

              2. Well quit lying that the GOP is “small gov”!

                Prove it. Produce links to comments, or shut the fuck up.

          4. “Quit sucking the GOP cock then! Every day it is NO FAIR TO ATTACK BUSH!!! IRAQ was OK! Patriot Act OK! Medicare Expansion OK!

            The GOP is really “small government” – wink wink!”

            Says Captain Obvious. Is this the fucking GOP headquarters? Your precious Democrats will get reamed just as much around here as the Republicans.

        2. What do you mean, eventually?

    1. In the Shadow of Kilamanjaro?

    2. And judging by their faces… they’re embarrassed about it.

  7. Driving dogs to appear on Top Gear.

  8. A teen who performed at President Barack Obama’s inauguration last week was shot and killed in Chicago, which has very strict gun laws.

    Not strict enough! Did you hear we’ve had over 40 homicides already this year? And you know why the media is telling me that’s happening? NEEDZ MOAR STRICTER!

    1. Oh, but they’re all coming from those bad NON-regulated gun-loving places.

      So obviously we have to enact the sort of tight national gun-control regulations that make Mexico so safe.

      1. Oh, but they’re all coming from those bad NON-regulated gun-loving places.

        Where responsible gun owners are shooting each other…er…everyone…er…wait…

        1. Don’t you hate how people in gun-rights jurisdictions don’t commit their crimes in their own hometowns, but go into gun-restricting jurisdictions to commit crimes and bring their rates up, just to discredit gun control?

          1. It’s a vast right-wing conspiracy.

    2. Nicole, don’t you know anything? Chicago lacks DEFENSIBLE BORDERS. Guns can just get up and march into Chicago whenever they feel like it. No, guns have be banned everywhere. Except for government agencies, law enforcement and retired cops.

      1. I’d be in favor of putting up a wall around Chicago so that nobody can get out.

  9. Marcotte: Guns are used to hurt women, therefore they can never be said to save them.

    It’s particularly outrageous for Trotter to float this line of nonsense so soon after the headline-grabbing murder of Kasandra Perkins. Having guns in the house didn’t save her, and if Jovan Belcher hadn’t been able to unload nine bullets into her by simply grabbing a gun on hand, it’s likely she’d still be alive.

    She’s right. Nicole Simpson would still be alive if OJ hadn’t have shot her with that knife.

    1. Seriously, why does anyone link to these people? It’s like responding to shriek–only encourages them.

      1. I’m making a resolution to only link to one such article every few days.

      2. Seriously, why does anyone link to these people?

        Marcotte? For the comedy and shrill whining emitted from todays modern self actualized womyn.

      3. Seriously, why does anyone link to these people? It’s like responding to shriek–only encourages them.

        Because they increasingly drive policy. For example, our secretary of state has been quoted thus:

        “Women have always been the primary victims of war. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in combat. Women often have to flee from the only homes they have ever known. Women are often the refugees from conflict and sometimes, more frequently in today’s warfare, victims. Women are often left with the responsibility, alone, of raising the children. Women are again the victims in crime and domestic violence as well.”

        1. Makes sense to make them eligible for front-line combat duty then.

          Is that the reason for this quote?

          1. Yes, because apparently it will be safer for them there.

          2. Is that the reason for this quote?

            Nope, it was said at a conference for domestic violence.

    2. Things only count if they’re headline grabbing. If it didn’t come to Miss Marcotte’s attention, it’s not worth knowing about.

    3. It’s particularly outrageous for Trotter to float this line of nonsense so soon after the headline-grabbing murder of Kasandra Perkins. Having guns in the house didn’t save her, and if Jovan Belcher hadn’t been able to unload nine bullets into her by simply grabbing a gun on hand, it’s likely she’d still be alive.

      Yeah, Belcher wouldn’t have killed her if there wasn’t a gun around. Not as if he could have grabbed a knife and cut her head off or anything. Nope, guns are magical killy-mcdeath instruments that corrupt the minds of those who touch them.

      1. Belcher was an NFL linebacker. Not hard to see him managing to beat her to death either.

        And note that of any of those potential causes of death – knife, fist, or gun, the gun is the only one that’d be equally effective across the vast physical gulf between the two.

        1. So you’re telling me that this guy could beat up his girlfriend?

          I dunno, they seem evenly matched to me.

      2. Not also the double standard: it’s virtuous to exploit dead children if you’re doing it to ban guns; but to use a victim as a suggestion that we need to find a way to let potential victims defend themselves, that’s just evil.

    4. The Violence Policy Center’s research showed that in 1998, the year they studied, 83 women were killed by an intimate partner for every woman who used a gun in self-defense.

      Despite these stats having nothing to do with each other, she’s still admitting that women use guns to protect themselves. Isn’t the current logic “if it saves even one life…”?

  10. I think someone need to go to Fist of Etiquette’s home to check on him.

    1. He’s completely drunk; he just sexted me. He’ll be fine in the morning. He does this sometimes.

      1. If the rest of us can post while drunk, why can’t he?

        1. Yeah, this isn’t “drunk”, this is “obliterated on wine coolers and Sterno”. And he called me “Warty”, which frankly is pretty offensive.

          1. Cough syrup and Vicodin, if you simply must know.

        2. What don’t I do drunk?

          1. Attend AA meetings, hopefully.

            A guy I knew once drove his car into the side of a building where his wife was attending an AA meeting. Drunk, of course, which is why he was out in the parking lot instead of inside.

            1. I just don’t do that at all. AA is for quitters.

              1. My name is EAP and I haven’t had a drink in at least five minutes.

                1. Hiiiiii, EAP!

                2. EAP…..Enough About Palin…..or Elvis Aaron Presley?

  11. Nothing good ever comes from Saskatchewan

    1. Their work suggests the 45p proposals could cut consumption by 2.4%, which after 10 years would result in 10,000 fewer deaths and more than 300,000 fewer hospital admissions.

      But of course it is not an exact science with the researchers admitting they can only give “best estimates”.

      But let’s go ahead anyways!

    2. Evidence from Saskatchewan, which has a slightly different policy as there are different minimum prices for different types of drinks, has shown that a 10% rise in price leads to an 8% fall in alcohol consumption.

      “In related news, they also found it leads to about a 20% increase in alcohol smuggling.”

      1. Or drinking at home.

  12. Last night Jon Stewart eviscerated Glenn Beck’s planned Libertopia ‘Galt’s Gulch’ in Texas with his own words. (see the Daily Show)

    Watch Beck say that in his new “Libertarian” paradise certain retailers would not be allowed (like Ann Taylor and The Gap), beer drinking and Springsteen concerts would be forbidden, and that “public wholesomeness” would be the rule in the media!

    This is a fucking self-proclaimed anti-GOP “libertarian”….

    Somewhere, our ‘John’ has a Beckerhead hard on.

    1. As opposed to cities where smoking is outlawed, prostitution is illegal and foodtrucks are banned?

      1. Point is some douchebag like Beck cannot claim to be LP any more than a statist douchebag like Michael Moore.

        But Moore does not.

        Beck does.

        They both suck ass carbuncles.

        1. WTF is wrong with you? THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE! THIS IS NOT A REPUBLICAN WEBSITE!

          1. Seriously, why are you bothering with this fucking shitbag? He already knows, dude. Your response is exactly what he gets his rock off on.

            1. I’m an optimist.

            2. Mike M. – you are the biggest GOP rent-boy on this site!

              (maybe John is – close call)

          2. Wait; I thought this was a Republican website. What exactly are you trying to say?

    2. Clearly the second paragraph is proof that Beck is not an actual Libertarian.

      1. It has been reiterated around here enough that Beck is not a Libertarian. Not sure why we need to discuss that.

        Buttplug still thinks we are all Republicans, and that he is a Libertarian. Pretty funny stuff.

        1. Hey, Buttplug took a TEST. It told him he was a LIBERTARIAN. All that brown on his nose that smells like Obama’s ass is a complete coincidence, and probably a trick from BOOSH.

          1. If you can name something that either Jon Stewart or Glenn Beck said, you might not be a libertarian.

            /Foxworthy

      2. Beck is no more a libertarian than Maher. It’s like these fuckers are incapable of picking up a goddamn dictionary.

    3. It’s nice to know that there’s a real Libertarian on the case. Thanks Shriek.

      1. Yes, he passed his own test to prove it.

        1. Nice line, I must admit.

          Sadly, libertarianism has not advanced an iota since I voted for Harry Browne back in 1996.

          The more the LP sucks up to the GOP the more irrelevant it becomes.

          1. The LP does not suck up to the GOP. The Paul school of Libertarianism simply thinks that the best road to influence for the LP, is through the GOP.

            Not anything different to what the progressives did with the Democratic party, and at least it is having some success.

            How many Libertarians in Congress from the LP? 0

            How many Libertarians in Congress from the GOP. 3

            Paul could be right.

            1. Thank you for the earnest reply.

              The Pauls are anti Right to Privacy. I can’t excuse that.

              1. “Right to Privacy?” Are you referring to human abortion?

                1. Exactly. Anti-privacy. Now give me all your emails and phone records.

                2. Ron Paul said that ‘Lawrence v. Texas’ was wrongly decided.

                  The Texas police went into a private home without a warrant and arrested a gay male couple for sodomy.

                  That is fucked up.

                  No excuse.

                  1. “Ron Paul said that ‘Lawrence v. Texas’ was wrongly decided.”

                    Why, because he thought the states should ban sodomy or because he thought the Constitution gave them the power to do so?

                    1. “Why, because he thought the states should ban sodomy or because he thought the Constitution gave them the power to do so?”

                      Too fine a distinction, does not compute with buttplug purist.

              2. Fail your test, do they, idiot?

                1. So if someone is anti-war, anti-prohibition, anti-government-surveillance, pro-gun-rights, and pro-economic freedom but believes that cutting a baby out of his or her mother’s stomach and tossing him or her in the trash constitutes an act of violence and should not be legal, they aren’t libertarian? You realize that libertarians don’t think murder should be legal, right? The American pro-abortion movement is a direct descendant of the socialist eugenic movement. Nothing could be less libertarian than killing a baby.

                  1. Ah, sorry. I mis-read and thought Rights-Minimalist Autocrat was you, answering half-sincerely. I never heard about the Texas bu-fu case.

              3. We’ll talk about the kid’s right to life and the importance of being willing to accept the consequences of your actions (i.e. laying down and making a new human) later, I guess.

                You can be as private as you want about it, and it’s still fucking murder.

    4. Somewhere, our ‘John’ has a Beckerhead hard on.

      No need to be jealous shreek. John worships Glenn from afar he’s not stalking him like you are.

    5. Shriek, you really need to get over the fact that Glenn Beck doesn’t want you to suck his dick.

  13. From breast-slapping and gold thread face-lifts, to vaginal whitening soaps and olive oil penis enlargements, Thais are doing anything for beauty.

    1. The penis mightier?

    2. You know in all fairness, a little bit of olive oil properly applied does make my penis bigger. At least for a minute or two.

      1. I guess I should be happy that we get to cook with the olive oil in our house, since my penis is already big enough. Olive oil is expensive!

      2. Just don’t apply any when using a rubber.

  14. New hook-up app called Bang with Friends allows you to anonymously proposition your Facebook friends for sex.

    1. What’s the point?

      1. So are the friends you are propositioning just supposed to say yes or no to “Would you bang a friend?” (without knowing who was asking)

        1. From the article:

          Step 1. Sign in with Facebook

          Step 2. Pick friends you want to bang. We’ll only let them know its you if they’re also interested.

          Step 3. If you both are interested we’ll send an email to allow you to start a conversation.

          Step 4. Bang!

          1. We’ll only let them know its you if they’re also interested.

            I realize I am not in the target market for this but…isn’t that going to be a problem for most people? A lot of people? Some people?

            1. So you get random message asking if you want to bang but don’t know who wants to bang you until you decide you want to bang?

              1. That’s what it sounds like.

              2. I’m guessing you pre-determine which of your Facebook friends you want to bang, and others using the app do the same. If you’ve checked person A off and person A has checked you off, the app lets you both know you’ve mutually checked each other off. And then you can get each other off.

              3. Think of the mischief one could cause with access to a roommate’s account.

            2. so you get a message that says “someone wants to have sexy time” and you then pick from a list of your friends to see which ones match?

              1. Correct response, you select all your friends. That way, you’re sure to find out who is trying to get in your pants. Then you publicly shame them.

                1. I was about to point that out. This assumes honest answers will be given to maintain anonymity. So it’s not truly anonymous.

              2. Wow. Someone found an actual use for Facebook.

            3. Until this app supports killing and marrying, it’s dead to me.

              1. In that order?

          2. Step 1. Sign in with Facebook

            Right there is where I end reading that article and go somewhere else.

    2. Why would I want to do that anonymously when I already do it non-anonymously?

      Dee Reynolds: Why would you want to have sex with someone you can’t see?

      Dennis Reynolds: Well, Dee. I think the real question is, why wouldn’t you want to have sex with someone you can’t see?

    3. allows you to anonymously proposition your Facebook friends for sex.

      How is it anonymous if they’re on your friends list?

      1. Because requests are only sent when both parties state their interest in one another. So only people who want to have sex with each other see each other’s names. Of course, you could just lie by checking off everyone on your list and seeing exactly who wants to have sex with you.

        1. Still wouldn’t consider that anonymous. Rejectionless (theoretically) but not anonymous.

        2. Considering half (or more) the un-married women on my fbook (including those in long term monogamous relationships) constantly make “am I hot or what?” picture-posts on a semi-weekly basis I’d expect them all to do anything short of having sex with everyone of their fbook friends in order just to find out who wants to.

          1. With or without duck face?

    4. Do both parties have to have it installed?

      1. I think so, otherwise a girl could just check ‘yes’ when she gets a message and then publicly ridicule the loser who’s perving on her via Facebook when it reveals who it is.

        1. She can do that anyway by checking off everyone on her friend’s list.

    5. Look here are the rules for hooking up with someone online.

      Me: Pictures please, and not the ones that are 15 years old.

      Her: Send pictures.

      Me: Arrive at meeting place for lunch, see that the pictures were 15 years old.

      Me. I have to use the restroom, be right back.

      Me. Go outside to car and drive away.

      1. Online dating is really easy. I think you’re doing something wrong.

        1. Not quite, I’ve done it a lot and had a lot of success at it. And if I were to ever be single again, I would go right back to it. There is no way you can get the potential selection of available females anywhere like you can online.

          That was a joke, but it did actually happen to me once. Although I was too nice to drive away. I just left after lunch and never had anymore contact with the person again.

          1. I just left after lunch and never had anymore contact with the person again.

            Should’ve angled for a bj in the parking lot first.

    6. This might be the hook to get me back on Facebook.

  15. And now we trot out poor, pathetic Gabbi Giffords to parrot the party line.

    1. Shame is she was a cool Harley/gun-toting attractive liberal woman before her brain got pocked by a madman. So cut her some slack.

      This shit is getting out of hand. There can be nothing done about it nor should there be.

      1. I’m not the one trucking her ass around the country to generate cheap sympathy for my statist agenda.

        1. Or pulling the string in her neck to make her talk.

          *zip*

          “Gunz err BAD! BAd!”

          1. *slips Gabby a treat*

          2. Hey, she’s got her hero astronaut hubby with her, which makes her authority unassailable. Do you hear me? HERO MOTHERFUCKING ASTRONAUT.

            Sass her and you’ll find yourself looking at the ass end of an airlock.

            1. SOMEBODY is gonna go after their mailbox!

            2. Don’t you astronauts’ weak spot? They have bones like toothpicks.

            3. Look there’s astronauts, then there’s NEIL FUCKING ARMSTRONG.

        2. Blame Mark Kelly then. She could barely read her 80 word statement.

          I agree with you anyway. She is being used for political purpose.

      2. I did cut her slack until she started playing the poor martyr card. That’s just douchy.

        1. I have to wonder how much of her faculties she retains and how much she just does what people tell her to do.

          1. That is actually a very good question, Zeb, and that is hard to concretely determine. Memory, speech, and cognitive abilities are all testable and falsifiable, but how much of “her” is actually intact is anyone’s guess.

            Depends on how much of her frontal lobe and pre-frontal cortex is damaged, if any, since that is the seat of personality. As much as I despise her for voting for ObamneyCare, her speed of recovery is nothing short of remarkable. I just wish she wasn’t a literal puppet for the latest batch of freshly baked Grievance Industry.

            1. If you turn up the contrast, you can actually see the strings.

          2. I wonder this about most politicians.

          3. I wonder about that, too. When I heard her today I just got incredibly disgusted.

            I wish that the other side could trot out a gunshot victim who is pro-gun. Maybe have a bunch of people with half-their heads blown off come in and voice complaint about the gun grab. Well I can dream can’t I?

            1. Another point that crosses my mind when I see her taking this anti-gun tack – it has been published as fact that she owned the exact same model of Glock as the one as Lougner used in the shooting. So if these guns are so evil – does she still have it and why?

      3. Shame is she was a cool Harley/gun-toting attractive liberal woman before her brain got pocked by a madman. So cut her some slack.

        Surviving an attempted murder doesn’t grant a person moral superiority or clarity. Otherwise, we should be getting more Bloods, Crips, and Latin Kings to testify about the evils of guns in front of Congress.

        1. I would not at all be surprised to see this. And with absolutely no sense of irony attached.

      4. So she was for my right to defend myself until something bad happened to her?

        That does not get slack.

        Similarly, if her change of mind is because of organic damage, I feel no need to pay it any mind, as it has just as much weight as the policy preferences of the average 8yo paraded about by the current .gov.

    2. Why is Gabby Giffords sitting next to Dr. Evil?

  16. London’s police chief wants all workers to be tested for illegal drug use, and those who fail should get treatment or be fired.

    I’m sure the unions will find a way tone down the law. Make them sit in rubber rooms while getting full pay. Creating a long process so that it costs $250,000 to fire a worker. Giving a one-year severance package.

    1. London’s police chief wants all workers to be tested for illegal drug use, and those who fail should get treatment or be fired.

      They did some background check on the chief and found out that his brother owns the treatment centers.

  17. Roger Ebert may have set the standard for scathing movie reviews with his review of ‘North’, but Richard Roeper may have challenged him with his review of ‘Movie 43’.

    Since 1999, I’ve been carrying a blue pill in my pocket, holding onto it for the moment when I’d truly need it. The pill, I was told, would instantly erase the memory of any movie ? but just the one movie, just the one time…
    Midway through “Movie 43,” I knew the day had come. As the credits rolled with the inevitable blooper scenes of actors breaking character and inexplicably laughing when nothing funny is going on, I swallowed that pill, hoping to erase instantly all mental images of what had just transpired.

    It didn’t work. The !&$@*! thing didn’t work!

    1. Actually, I felt Berke Breathed did the best one when he had Opus as a movie reviewer say “this movie did for film what Jonestown Kool-ade did for kid’s drinks”.

      1. It was Flavor Aid people!

        1. I’M JUST QUOTING OPUS.

    2. Hmm, never heard of it. Quick glance looks like it’s one of those insider-insider movies, produced by a guy who’s friends with a bunch of Hollywood actors and decides to do an Altman-esque improv short-film do-waddle that seems funny on the surface (and can be if done right) but usually just ends up leaving everyone with a “huh” kind of feeling.

      1. It currently has a 4% on Rotten Tomatoes.

        1. I see these films this way, I may love my favorite celebrities, but do I need to listen to their banal conversations they have with people at a dinner party?

          Usually: No.

          These kinds of things tend to be made by people who are convinced their behind-the-scenes conversations and musings are so profound, the rest of the country will sit riveted while watching.

          1. And they tend to be really fun to make, if not to watch.

          2. Reading the above review, you’re actually giving it too much credit. It sounds like they wanted to make an “edgy” film, and wound up making something that manages to be nasty and vicious without being funny.

    3. From “National Lampoon’s Animal House” to “Stripes” to many of the Judd Apatow R-rated comedies to “Ted,” I’ve long been a fan of rude-crude-lewd films ? IF they’re also smart and we care about the characters and there’s a lit bit of an emotional investment in their fates.

      Sounds awesome.

    4. I liked Ebert’s line about the Adam Sandler film Mr. Deeds, which he described as “not so much a remake as a desecration.”

    5. “I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don’t shine.”

      ?From Ebert’s review of “The Human Centipede”

      1. To be fair to Ebert, Human Centipede wasn’t a movie: it was borderline obscenity. I honestly have no idea how that so-called film was able to be shown in a theater. It made A Serbian Film look like the Godfather.

        1. Human Centipede wasn’t a movie: it was borderline obscenity.

          A documentary, actually. You have no idea what Slovakian medical schools look like…

          1. You have no idea what Slovakian medical schools look like

            I imagine the Slovakians haven’t advanced past leeching and vivisection.

            1. Hostel is also a how-to clinical for would-be and nubile surgeons.

              Medical Fun Fact: Leeches are routinely used for reducing swelling in joints after limb reattachment at the point of re-articulation.

              Another: For many patients with ESRD, cardiac overload, and certain types of blood sarcomas, “bleeding” (lowering blood volume the old fashioned way) is also still used.

              1. Maggots are used for gangrene, aren’t they?

                1. Maggots are used for gangrene, aren’t they?

                  Yeppers! And they are cheap, effective, and do no damage to healthy tissues.

                  1. It warms the very cockles of my heart, it does.

        2. The Godfather is overrated.

          1. Does it assert itself? The odd thing, that is very much a valid criticism in spite of the source.

            I saw Godfather III in the theater and thought it was awful to God, but when it ended, everyone around me stood and clapped. It was almost as horrible a what the fuck moment as realizing Barry was going to get a second term.

      2. Ebert’s takedown of Rob Schneider is still a classic.

    6. I don’t think I’ve ever slow clapped a single thing in my life, but after reading that my hands just spontaneously started hitting palms together.

    7. Roeper’s just ripping off Arrested Development.

    8. As the ads for “Movie 43” promised (threatened?), you can’t un-see this thing, so please: Stay away. Even if you might think that sitting through “Movie 43” would be an adventure along the lines of experiencing “Showgirls” or “Howard the Duck,” you’ll be filled with regret five minutes into this atrocity. There’s camp-fun bad and interestingly horrible bad, and then there’s just awful.

      You leave Howard the Duck alone!

      *sobs*

      1. I’m sure he isn’t going for reverse psychology here, but this actually increases my desire to see Movie 43. On DVD, of course.

        I skipped that recent Will Ferrell and Zack Galafalapopadopolis comedy, and that Marky Mark Teddy bear one, figuring “I’ll probably laugh once or twice in 100 minutes.” But the same feeling that compelled me to check out The Room is telling me I have to see Movie 43.

        1. Or, as I wrote about Dondi, “So bad it’s not even ‘So bad it’s good'”.

      2. The guy in the Howard the Duck suit was also the dwarf in In Bruges. Also on his resume, he portrayed the bag of weed from the fantasy sequence in the first Harold and Kumar. Versatile.

    9. …Jackman’s character has a realistic-looking scrotum dangling from his chin ? which seems to escape the notice of everyone but Winslet.

      South Park already did it.

  18. “A teen who performed at President Barack Obama’s inauguration last week was shot and killed in Chicago, which has very strict gun laws.”

    CA, which probably has the tightest gun-grabbing laws, seems unable to enforce the laws on the books! How can that be?! Pass a law, and everything’s Bob’s your uncle, right?
    “Guns illegally owned by 20,000 in state”
    http://www.sfgate.com/crime/ar…..234266.php

    1. Obviously they are not gun-controlly enough.

  19. It’s very brave of Mrs. Giffords to allow herself to be used by opportunitsts. It takes great courage to do what she’s doing.

    1. Her brain got scrambled, pal.

      1. Yes, and you are on record saying you would have pulled the plug on her after three hours of triage. Have you notified her friends, family, and husband of your noble stance?

        I’m quite sure her medical bills are still piling up. Just like those old people, right Shriek?

      2. Not as much as mine from sucking that Obama cock.

      3. Also, fuck you, cut spending.

      4. Her brain got scrambled, pal

        Then that makes it worse.

    2. Her self-esteem must of been very high after she made her well intentioned superiors feel so very proud today. We must all feel the good about our dear leaders who work so hard to protect us and provide us with the true guidance.

  20. Well surprise, surprise, surprise (although not really): Jim Nabors marries long-time partner in Washington.

    1. He had to wait for Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell to be overturned.

    2. Too bad Rock Hudson is dead.

      1. Also how long will it take for Nick Gillespie to include it in one of his hipster posts?

        1. This needs to be added to the drinking game.

          Cosmotarians. DRINK!

          1. In Nick’s defense you should see the bills of those billionaires he has sold out to who are paying for his drinks.

            http://cdn.wwtdd.com/wp-conten…..ar-tab.jpg

            Who wouldn’t bargain for a cosmo at those prices?

            1. I have a hunch that daddy can cover it. He’ll just sell a Ferarri driver.

          2. Eh… I wasn’t accusing him of being a “cosmotarian” but being a hipster. I find his pop culture references annoying.

    3. He’s 82, his hubby is 64. Cradle robber!

    4. Thank god my Grandmother passed before learning of this. She’d have been devastated.

  21. I now have a new found respect for cats. Birds are assholes. Wish the cats were big enough to take out these damn geese that shit everywhere.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01…..ss&emc=rss

    1. Birds are pretty disgusting. Flying rats.

    2. “We’ve been discussing this problem of cats and wildlife for years and years, and now we finally have some good science to start nailing down the numbers,”

      Um..problem? Why is this a problem exactly?

      1. Eating meat is murder. Hunting is barbaric. Cat’s need learn these things.

        1. Dear god man, do you know that fish are out there eating other fish EVERY DAY! We must take action to stop this unjustified slaughter.

  22. Observe the Farktards scramble to excuse NBC getting caught yet again:

    whitman00
    2013-01-30 01:44:52 PM
    Fox News and 1000 right wing radio programs edit tape 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for years on end with the sole purpose of twisting the facts to make Democrats and liberals look bad.

    HotWingConspiracy
    2013-01-30 01:46:44 PM
    Maybe just go ahead and stay quiet if the only thing you can come up with is “SECOND MEDMENTS” at a hearing about dead kindergarteners.

    bugontherug
    2013-01-30 03:51:36 PM
    There is a consequential difference. People who distort the news at NBC get fired or otherwise disciplined. Not so much for those who distort the news at Fox.

    1. NEEDZ MOAR DENIAL

    2. at a hearing about dead kindergarteners

      Well that explains the complaints. I just assumed it was a hearing about gun control.

      1. I feel better already. I have no problem with banning dead kindergartners.

    3. The hatred between proglodytes and, well, everybody else who is not on their dole is as high or even higher than that which existed between the North and the South in the Civil War. With their constant agitation and political push for more power this is not going to end well.

      1. Some animals are more equal than others.

        1. After overthrowing the democrats the republicans morph into donkeys? I’ve seen that story unfold a dozen times in my life. It’s a wonder I don’t get tired of reading Animal Farm. But I don’t think by ending badly, what they are agitating will be contained within electoral politics. If they agitate for scrapping the Constitution which is getting a serious hearing in their circles there will be blood in the streets.

          1. Note to DHS, no desire for blood in the streets. Just wished something would undercut this giant push, something that would undermine their morale like a home team quarterback fumbling the ball undermines the shouting in the bleachers, like, say, the president suffering a coma inducing stroke and they are suddenly stuck with backing quarterback Joe Biden. Wait, forget that analogy DHS. Erase, erase, don’t submit!

            1. “Do it to Julia!”

      2. I’d love to see the nation split up between the red states and the blue states as an experiment. Divorced politically. Two separate systems of governance. Allow migration. How long do you think before the blue states were begging for admittance to the red?

        I’d give it a dozen years before full blown destitution.

        1. However there are very few truly blue states. If you look at a map of the breakdown by state, very blue California contains more red than blue. It’s the winner takes all philosophy of the EC that put the Narcissist in Chief back in office.

    1. It’s gonna be me. Except in a double-wide.

  23. why anybody in this room needs to have one of these assault-style weapons or military weapons* or high-capacity clips.

    My weapon defends me against petty criminals and thugs of the politically protected class, and my weapon did not kill your child.

  24. lol will they ever realize that silly laws are for honest folk lol.

    http://www.Im-Anon.tk

    1. We do foreplay and I give him oral sex to get him in the mood.

      Hey, hey, hey, let’s not blame this wonderful, sweet young lady for her boyfriend’s problem. She already understands what 99% of men want, it’s his problem, not hers.

      1. Yeah, I’m not really seeing where any blame can be placed on her.

        1. Well you see, what would really get him off is some math. Sex-math, yeah!

          1. Vector calculus makes my pants tight.

            1. ‘Vector calculus’ isn’t a synonym for ‘thousands of pizzas and a lack of exercise’.

            2. Because you crap yourself in fear at something you can’t understand?

              1. I see a cross product and I fill up my Depends and then I have to have a time out. It’s a reflexive reaction, unfortunately.

                1. It’s LaPlace Transforms that do it for me.

            3. Floquet’s Theorem and Density Functional Theory = 6 to midnight.

          2. “Sex-math”

            6 + 9 = fun

            1. 15?

              You’ve been hanging out with pedo-bot too much lately.

              1. Well the wife turns 45 this year so I amy have to trade her in for three 15 years olds:) We’ve been talking about moving to Tennessee so that might be ok. Hell, that’s old by Elvis standards:)

                1. Actually I prefer women closer to my age. I wouldn’t even want to be in the same room with three 15 year olds much less anything else:) My head would explode.

        2. Is she fat? Or, worse, Canadian?

    2. Maybe it isn’t. Just as there are men with, shall we say, hair triggers, there are men on the other side of the spectrum that have tremendous difficulty reaching orgasm. It just doesn’t get mentioned very much.

    3. I seem to recall reading in Savage Love that it is likely this guy strangles the hell out of his cock when he masturbates.

      1. And as such, oral and/or vaginal stimulation just won’t cut it.

        And now you know the rest of the story.

      2. I seem to recall reading in Savage Love that it is likely this guy strangles the hell out of his cock when he masturbates.

        I had that same problem in my teens, and yes, that was the issue. Dude probably spanks it dry with a kung-fu grip. Throw a little lube in the mix and quit watching so much porn, and the issue resolves itself.

        1. That’s pretty much what Dan Savage suggested.

    4. Some men are used to self-pleasuring in a high-friction style ? for example, with a rough towel

      What. The. Fuck? Who is out there yanking it with a towel? Steve Smith?

      1. STEVE SMITH MASTURBATE USING HIKER, NOT TOWEL!

      2. Some men are used to self-pleasuring in a high-friction style ? for example, with a rough towel

        You use the towel as an improvised condom. /Sandusky

  25. A judge has ruled that Jerry Sandusky’s lawyers had plenty of time to prepare his defense, and he will not be granted a new trial.

    The hail-mary of every defense lawyer: “I sucked during trial, therefore, unfair trial!”

    1. And yet they never return the client’s money?

  26. an Altman-esque improv short-film do-waddle that seems funny on the surface (and can be if done right) but usually just ends up leaving everyone with a “huh” kind of feeling.

    And they got paid a bunch of money to do it.

    “So long, suckers!”

  27. The FBI has raided the office of a Miami doctor who is suspected of helping provide underage Dominican prostitutes to New Jersey Democratic Sen. Bob Menendez. Menendez denies the allegations.

    Denies he had the prostitutes, or denies they were underage?

    1. He was sure they were Puerto Rican.

    2. Denies he had the prostitutes, or denies they were underage?

      Yes.

    3. Denies being from Jersey.

  28. Rick Reilly, Douchebag…

    http://espn.go.com/espn/story/…..-birth-mom

    1. Is there some rule that prohibits sports-writers from writing about… sports?

  29. London’s police chief wants all workers to be tested for illegal drug use, and those who fail should get treatment or be fired.

    I guess it’s good to be reminded from time to time that no matter how much it seems like things suck in America today, it sucks even more just about everywhere else.

  30. Alright, as vile as he is, I have to give credit to Epi for the best HnR quote I’ve seen in a long ass time:

    You’ve made one of the classic blunders, ProL, the first of which is never get involved in a pizza dispute on H&R. But the second, only slightly less known, is never go up against an Episiarch when Princess Bride quotes are on the line!

    1. Damn straight, bitch!

      1. It got bonus points because it was directed at Pro “Ancient” Lib.

        1. That will be enough of that! Pro’L Dib roams these threads of the H&R-straad betrode a colossus. All hail Pro’L Dib!

          1. Oh yeah? Well where is your Kwisatz Haderach right now?

            1. He forgot where he left his bifocals so he can’t read the computer screen.

            2. He is the Kwittheshitz Hadenough! His crust is a killing crust!

              1. It certainly is; killing to taste.

              2. I am he one who can be offended many ways at once.

            3. While you were typing, I replaced your car with an exact duplicate.

  31. few things more pathetic than giffords making a “for the kids appeal”. ironic, when there are plenty of kids killed in homicide heavy chicago, where they have such laws.

    40 yr low in homicide rate despite ever expanding gun rights, and the grabbers STILL don’t get it

    1. Dunphy, those Chicago murders were inner city children of African descent, probably on drugs, in gangs, or both, and therefore don’t matter.

      REMEMBER SANDY HOOK!

      1. what some cynics refer to as “misdemeanor homicide”

    2. Please Kill yourself, faux-pig.

      1. smooches!

  32. 40 years ago today. First public performance of KISS, wearing little to no makeup.

    1. 40 years ago

      I wonder why they need that makeup.

  33. Oh look, the heroine of Tucson found a camera.

    Imagine my shock.

    1. The hero of Tucson
      The gal they call Gabe

  34. Yet another triumph of “multiculturalism”

    In ultra-Orthodox Jewish communities across New York state, women wear long skirts and long-sleeved, high-necked blouses on the street; men wear suits and white collar shirts, buttoned to the neck; and girls are told the precise color and thickness of the stockings they can wear to school.

    And these aren’t just recommendations ? community modesty codes are strictly enforced. Not just by social custom, but by a self-appointed, shadowy group of men who police a predominantly Hasidic neighborhood in North Brooklyn, according to a report in the New York Times.

    “They operate like the Mafia,” Rabbi Allan Nadler, director of the Jewish studies program at Drew University, told the Times. “They walk into a store and say it would be a shame if your window was broken or you lost your clientele,” he said. “They might tell the father of a girl who wears a skirt that’s too short and he’s, say, a store owner: ‘If you ever want to sell a pair of shoes, speak to your daughter.'”

    1. Religion is the #1 enemy of freedom. The state is just a mere reflection.

      1. How do the Jewish modesty police match up to the Obama death panels on the Buttplug Freedom Index?

      2. Religion is the #1 enemy of freedom. The state is just a mere reflection.

        Actually, despite being an atheist, I can easily see how religion has been a kind of “vaccination” against statism. If 90% of the population is going to believe in infallible beings, I’d prefer it if those said beings are not also the ones in charge of the soldiers and tax collectors.

        1. It depends on the country. I’d agree with him about, say, Saudi Arabia, but not about random western European countries.

          In the US, it depends on the state. Arkansas, yes. California, no.

        2. P. J. O’Rourke’s rules for a successful society #1: never let the people with all the money and the people with all the guns be the same people.

        3. Scientist and other government “experts” are becoming the new priest. if you question anything they say you must be some sort of troglydite.

          1. I noticed with the rise of secularism and atheism, people seem to now worship politicians with universities filling the role of monasteries.

      3. Yes because there is a direct correlation between increasing secularism and reducing the size of the state everywhere.

      4. Horseshit. Religion is not a necessary component of a totalitarian state. Statism is the #1 enemy of freedom.

        1. I think quite a few statist beliefs stem from religion.

          Negative views concerning prostitution, gambling, abortion, alcohol, homosexuals to a lesser extent drugs, if not coming directly from religion, are propped up by it.

          1. But religion is not required for those views either, FdA. The former Soviet Union, with the exception of surgical abortion which was legalized in the Duma in 1953, fully supported negative views, if not outright prohibition, of all the above. And the former Soviet Union is the de facto standard of an officially atheist, secular government.

            1. Not to mention those Catalonian Anarchists were quite puritanical despite their atheism.

              Not to mention our current secular left is quite supportive of banning lots of stuff.

            2. Point taken.

              But I’ll betcha the Soviet view on most, if not all of those issues originated from the religious beliefs in place before the rise of the atheist Soviet State. Whether they’d admit that or not is another matter. I’m fairly certain the Supreme Soviet didn’t sit down with parliament and hammer out positions on those issues based upon logic and reason. More than likely they fell back on what everyone was comfortable with.

              1. But I’ll betcha the Soviet view on most, if not all of those issues originated from the religious beliefs in place before the rise of the atheist Soviet State.

                Wow, the atheist version of the BOOOOSSSHHHH!!!!!! defense.

                1. Defense? I’m not defending shit. An opinion based upon observation.

                  Who said I’m an atheist?

                  And regardless, Mr Smarty Pants, please provide another theory as to where the aversion to the things on my list originated, or why reasonable people haven’t dispensed with their hatred and condemnation of them. (And don’t start on the abortion issue, as I’ll agree it’s the only one that’s defendable.)

                  1. Defense? I’m not defending shit.

                    I didn’t claim you were.

                    And regardless, Mr Smarty Pants, please provide another theory as to where the aversion to the things on my list originated, or why reasonable people haven’t dispensed with their hatred and condemnation of them.

                    It isn’t incumbent on me to provide a theory to come up with why they disliked those things. It is, in fact, your responsibility to prove that these ideas originated as an organic outgrowth of prior religious ideas.

                    All I was saying with my post is that statement quoted is the BOOOOSSSSHHHHH!!!! defense applied to the crimes of atheist regimes. Which is precisely what it is.

                    1. Okay, so it’s a BOOOSH defense because I claim their views were most likely formed because of their history/prior experience. Got it.

                      I posed a theory. If you happen to disagree with it, please feel free to argue why. If you don’t have anything to say, please feel free to not say anything.

          2. The worst government is the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
            H L Mencken

            “Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.”
            C S Lewis

            1. Or better yet:

              “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

          3. Hey, us atheist pro-lifers do exist you know.

            1. Hey, us atheist pro-lifers do exist you know.

              I am pretty sure most atheists would reject an argument that implies that only religion can provide any sort of morality.

              I don’t think the desire to ban salt and plastic bags is because of Southern Baptism.

    2. The Mafia? Aside from allegedly threatening to break a window, if the shop-owner is in an Ultra-Orthodox neighborhood and his clientele is Ultra-Orthodox Jews, then it sounds like the only threat is exactly “social custom.” They’re basically threatening not to give him business.

      And the alleged “threat” is being reported third-hand, filtered through a college professor and two notoriously full-of-shit, anti-religious propaganda outlets.

      1. There’s a couple cases of them breaking into people’s houses. They can do that in New York, cause no one has a gun. Here they’d be dead religious police.

        And one of these guys was a “therapist” for wayward youths (you know the delinquents that like to watch teevee, and talk on the phone) that was diddling the kids. He got 103 years.

        1. Dude, there are plenty of guns in New York. Believe me. And I’m not impugning your information, but I would genuinely like to see the cite for Orthodox Hasidim breaking into peoples’ houses to enforce modesty or for any reason other than common petty crime.

          1. Sorry, I was reading a different article.

            http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01……html?_r=0

            In this article, the Brooklyn DA, mentions the break-ins.

            And yeah, you can have a gun illegally in NY, but if you shoot an intruder with it you’d be fucked for life. For an orthodox jew with a family and a business, it’s probably not worth taking out these fucks. Here though, a burglar getting shot would warrant a perfunctory investigation, at best.

      2. They’re basically threatening not to give him business.

        You think blacklisting a store isn’t in the Mafia’s repertoire? And in a case like this, it’s backed by the threat of violence, not custom. If custom was that strong, there would be nothing for the modesty police to do.

        Look, the Mafia’s been doing this for years. Don’t pay, they spread the word not to visit your store. If that doesn’t work, then they break a few bones. And if that doesn’t work, then they burn it down.

        But the thing is, they rarely have to go past that first step. So, yes. It’s definitely Mafia like.

        1. What the fuck is “the Mafia?” Are you claiming that street gangs use economic boycott as an intimidation technique? What the hell is illegal, or even threatening, about not shopping somewhere or telling other people not to shop somewhere?

          Pretending that boycott is the first step on the slippery slope to bone-breaking and arson is ridiculous. Do shop-owners have a “right” to everybody’s business now?

          1. Pretending that boycott is the first step on the slippery slope to bone-breaking and arson is ridiculous.

            Who’s pretending? You’re the one who’s pretending that the Mafia never sends a bunch of guys by a store to tell them that business will stop if they don’t meet their demands. A boycott would be because of something they did, not because of what the local enforcers tell people to do. Like I said, if it was just culture, no one would go to that store anyway. “Oh, I heard his daughter wears short skirts, we shouldn’t shop there”. No threats needed. And if you think that these guys are rolling up to businesses, 3 and 4 deep, to threaten to spread rumors, then you’re off your rocker.

            And to top it off, cap just showed you an example of these same guys sliding down that slope.

  35. Mark and Gabby look exactly like a ventriloquist and his dummy in that photo.

    More Mortimer Snerd than Charlie McCarthy.

  36. Wash St seeking pot consultant

    1. legalization still working GREAT. drug dogs now IRRELEVANT. people smoking with impunity. life is good.

      1. drug dogs now IRRELEVANT

        Since they’re out of work I guess the local departments can use the dogs for target practice.

  37. Did they have any of Giffords’ bloody bandages to wave around? Maybe they could have wheeled in some dead kids too?

    1. Nah the smell would be too familiar for them to react appropriately.

  38. Hitler’s Toilet Is in New Jersey
    For half a century, Greg’s Auto Repair has housed the commode from Aviso Grille, the F?hrer’s biggest yacht

    http://www.tabletmag.com/jewis…..new-jersey

    1. That headline writes itself doesn’t it?

      1. LOL

    2. Hitler’s yacht is in Connecticut.

      1. Okay, not really with the yacht thing.

      2. Hitler’s yacht is in Connecticut.

        Berthed right next to low low taxes John Kerrys yacht?

        Wait that’s Rhode Island…disregard!

  39. Mistakes were made, but fatal shooting was ruled justified.

    Cause if a cop makes a mistake that ends up in you getting killed, it’s justified. If you make a mistake that ends in a cop getting killed, it’s the needle.

    1. waaaaah!

      1. Care to provide an example of a non-connected LE or politically connected citizen making a mistake that got a cop killed and not getting charged with murder? Shit, the boys on policeone were advocating it for someone who ran from a cop dog and the dog got hit by a car. Odd how none of them wanted the cop who left his dog in the car charged.

        Or, if you have no examples (and you don’t), just post “waaaah!” again.

        1. i’ll post waah again, thanks. a justified shoot is a justified shoot.

          1. Tell that to Cory Maye.

          2. Just because the DA pretends it’s justified, doesn’t mean it’s really justified. Even though you aren’t honest enough to admit it, police agencies and DA’s/prosecutors who investigate police misconduct rarely act in good faith, and just because the official investigation exonerates the officers doesn’t really mean anything in a moral or ethical sense. Just to be clear, what I mean is that police and prosecutors cannot be trusted to do an honest, impartial investigation of their own. And you know this, and count on it to give a false impression of accountability to law enforcement.

  40. it finally happened. went to a burglary a couple of hours ago and upon my entry to the house, residents were consoling themselves with (with respect to cypress hill) HITS FROM THE BONG!

    awesome. legalization working great. people feel comfortable taking bong hits in front of a cop.

    1. After medical passed in Oregon, I personally know of two people who had their plants confiscated by the cops, the growers then made phone calls to Salem, and…oh man, it’s too fucking sweet…the cops actually returned the cannabis plants to the growers and APOLOGIZED. No hard feelings.

      *sniff*….you dream about such a day, but when it finally happens…*sniff*

      1. the cops actually returned the cannabis plants to the growers and APOLOGIZED.

        I refuse to believe the last word of that sentence without documented evidence.

        1. Well, what were they gonna say? “Here’s your plants back but I’ll get you next time, Gadget…next time.”

          The cops fucked up, got leaned on by some administrators and/or politicians, and possibly got a little taste of sumpin’-sumpin’–money or bud–here or there along the way for their troubles. It’s still hard for me to accept too, but apparently they’re not all diabolical imprisonment machines.

          1. Well, what were they gonna say?

            Typically? Something along the lines of “training was deficient”. Hell, they don’t even apologize when the bust down the wrong door most of the time. If they actually got an apology, that’s awesome. But you’re more likely to get raped by a cop than get an apology.

  41. Some guy from Sports Illustrated was on Bloomberg a little while ago, boohooing about Ray Lewis’ magic deer antler potion.

    The most surprising part of the story is that Lewis has not, so far as we know, threatened to kill him yet.

    1. “The most surprising part of the story is that Lewis has not, so far as we know, threatened to kill him yet.”

      I thought the point about Ray Lewis is that he DOESN’T talk about murder.

  42. The Brits are all insane.

    1. He said: “Great Britain shows the perils of mass confiscation that some people have proposed. It has a higher violent crime rate than the United States and especially high rate of home invasion burglaries.”
      Is it necessary to spell out how absurd that claim is? The United States has 10.2 gun deaths per 100,000 people, the UK has 0.25. That means the US has 40 times more deaths per head than the UK. The “perils of mass confiscation” are clearly demonstrated.

      Apples, meet oranges.

      1. Apparently it’s just somehow better to be a victim of violent knife crime than gun crime, even if the home-invasions and stabbings happen wayyyy more often.

        1. Yup. The only way this logic makes sense is if what they are really afraid of is an armed uprising. Knives are less effective against riot-geared cops than rifles. To the average citizen, it makes no difference. Now, I’m not giving the average gun-grabber credit for logic, but there have to be those pulling the strings that realize that this is the only way this logic makes sense.

  43. A judge has ruled that Jerry Sandusky’s lawyers had plenty of time to prepare his defense, and he will not be granted a new trial.

    Thanks to the Penn State administration, he had a full 15 years to prepare!

    1. Maybe they can get him off because it wasn’t a speedy trial.

      1. Maybe they can get him off if his next attorney is a little person?

  44. a justified shoot is a justified shoot.

    Any time the trigger is pulled by a law enforcement professional the shoot is by definition justified.

    hth

    1. Guy killed me, Mal. He killed me with a sword. How weird is that?

    2. Thank FSM he wasn’t killed by a gun. That would have been a tragedy.

      1. Exactly. This is just violent crime, which doesn’t count because it’s not scary “gun crime”.

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