This Isn't the Way the World Ends, Obama Names Kerry to State, No Warrants for Emails: P.M. Links

• In case you weren't sure, the world has not ended.

• But unless we put armed guards in every single school in America, the NRA thinks the world just might end.
• As had been widely speculated, President Barack Obama has named Sen. John Kerry to succeed Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
• The part that requires the government to get probable-cause warrants to access private emails has been stripped from federal privacy legislation.
• Thanks to the fiscal cliff impasse shoving aside the farm bill, the feds may have to follow protectionist dairy regulations that could cause milk prices to more than double.
• A student came up with an idea to surprise his schoolmates by coming to school dressed as Santa Claus. But because of the secretive way he wrote about it on Facebook, authorities panicked and thought he was threatening violence.
• Port strikes could hit coastal cities along the Gulf of Mexico and Atlantic as negotiations between longshoreman's unions and the U.S. Maritime Alliance break down.

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Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

In case you weren't sure, the world has not ended.

Wait, that was today?

[A Serious Man]

Wouldn't it be on Mexican time? In that case it may end yet. In fact, I hearby declare this the Reason Hit and Run End of the World Confession thread. Any secrets you don't want to take with you you may disclose here.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Even the Mayans way back when knew that the only time zone worth a shite is the eastern time zone. EST REPRESENTS! That's my secret.

[GILMORE]

Yo man, East Coast in the house, we know what time it is, knowwhatimsayin'

but you gotta give mad props up to my peoples in the GMT; mad science, old school...

[wareagle]

I hate EDT. Grew up in Central, moved to Eastern for 20 years and never got accustomed to it, back to Central which is the true time of all the gods. And non-gods.

[Francisco d Anconia]

If you don't live on Mountain time, you are worse than Hitler.

[Groovus Maximus]

**pricks FdA with a gom jabbar**

[BlogimiDei]

Jihadist!

-Muad'Dib

[Francisco d Anconia]

Okay Kyle MacLachlan.

[Sudden]

I live in the Jimmy Buffet time zone, where it's always 5 o'clock....

or at least it would be if Postrel were still around.

[SIV]

EDT is CST

[Xenocles]

"EDT is CST"

You need to turn your map 180 degrees.

[SIV]

D'oh!

[Episiarch]

I once went to a Bon Jovi concert.

(cringes)

[GILMORE]

You give everything a bad name

[C. Anacreon]

Whenever I hear that song I think it would make a great Band-Aid commercial. Played over shots of caring mothers treating their kids' cuts and scrapes with the title bandages, then the refrain,
"You give love, with Band-Aids."

[Dr. Frankenstein]

My first concert was Heart.

[Enough About Palin]

Rolling Stones 1975 "It's Only Rock & Roll" Tour. Front and Center.

[heller]

Bob Dylan

[SIV]

CDB

It was either free or a buck at a local community college and my friend's parents dropped us off into the thick fog of marijuana smoke. I was 12.

You older cosmotarians would probably like my 2nd one better: Harry Chapin.

[heller]

2nd was Rolling Stones, 3rd was Sonic Youth.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Eric Clapton in Indianapolis (August '85?). Clapton, Donald "Duck" Dunn bass, Steve Cropper guitar, and Phil Collins pounding the skins. It was the first time I got high. Good show.

[wareagle]

Foreigner. With Cheap Trick as the opening act. Back when arenas had no seats on the floor. Good times.

[PapayaSF]

It may have been my first, or near to it: Hawkwind, with opening acts Kiss and Suzi Quatro.

[SIV]

That sounds like a good show and I hate KISS.

My 3rd was a great card. Blondie and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers opening for The Kinks in 1977.

[Zeb]

Rush, motherfuckers!

[BlogimiDei]

The Bestie Boys - 1986 The Summit in Houston

[BakedPenguin]

Iron Maiden - Number of the Beast tour.

[Groovus Maximus]

The Cure.

[Mad Scientist]

The Soul Merchants!

[JW]

Jethro Tull, when I was 15.

Queen still ranks as one of the best shows I ever saw.

[Brian Combs]

Stevie Ray Vaughan at Austin Aquafest circa 1985.

[C. Anacreon]

Aerosmith 1975

[Troy muy grande boner]

AC/DC, 1988 Festhalle, Franfurt Germany

[Francisco d Anconia]

The Police/Joan Jet/REM/Madness, 1983 at the Vet.

[Episiarch]

I like Heart. If that's your confession you're going to need to get a hell of a lot more depraved than that, like the time I went to see Armageddon in the theater.

[Dr. Frankenstein]

I liked the first Transformers movie. And as a Chicagoan I like both deep dish and thin crust pizza.

[Episiarch]

You're dead to me. Dead!

[Dr. Frankenstein]

We're all going to be dead that's the point.

With that, See you all in Hell. I'll save you a seat at the bar. Here's to the next end of the world. From what I understand sometime after Pope Benedict dies.

[Jerry on the road]

At least you didn't go see Pearl Harbor, or did you?

[Episiarch]

If I had, don't you think that would have been my confession?

[Jerry on the road]

Not if you also bought the deluxe box set edition.

[Episiarch]

The Collected Works of Michael Bay: Criterion Collection

[Fist of Etiquette]

Why don't you go watch some more episodes of Girls?

[SIV]

PWND!

[Archduke Pantsfan]

I saw "The Core" on opening night.

[Wastelander]

Stones. Philly. '97 or '98. Blues Traveler opened. Nosebleed seats. Traded a pair of slacks for my ticket. Had been sold on the concert with the promise that said ticket was "2nd row". True enough, it was the second row in that particular section. Slacks were polyester anyway. "Sympathy for the Devil" alone made me a net beneficiary in that trade.

[The Bearded Hobbit]

Iron Butterfly for their "Inna-Godda-da-Vida" tour. Buffalo Springfield was the opening act but one of the drummers missed the bus and was late. The pre-warmup band did a 45 minute cover of "Spoonful" while they were waiting.

Good times.

... Hobbit

[C. Anacreon]

Aerosmith in nineteen seventy-five

[Heroic Mulatto]

My first concert was Weird Al.

[mad libertarian guy]

I'm sure that my concert of "note" is FAR worse than anyone here.

I once went to . . .

gulp . . .

cringe . . .

Wham.

[Mad Scientist]

I hope the chick you were dating was worth it.

[SIV]

What a heteronormative statement to make, especially to a guy who saw Wham.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Also, to win arguments on the internet, I sometimes compare my opponent to Hitler.

[Enough About Palin]

You know who else did that?

[R C Dean]

That Godwin fellow?

[Randian]

Piers Morgan.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Greg Gutfeld?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Enough About Palin?

[C. Anacreon]

Bob Crane?

[CE]

That's okay, to win arguments on the internet, I sometimes accuse my opponents of comparing the actions I'm defending to things Hitler did. Somehow that preemptively defeats them, even if they have a good point.

[Ska]

A made out with a Catholic chick at the Passion of the Christ while sitting behind a pair of nuns. Yes, I felt her up too.

[RBS]

A bunch of us dressed up as the crew of the Challenger(post explosion) for Halloween.

[Episiarch]

How is that a confession and not bragging?

[nicole]

Um, because The Passion is snuff?

[Episiarch]

So let's see: he got a chick to go to a snuff film where he made out with her and fingerbanged her (I'm assuming) and did it behind some nuns. THAT'S BRAGGING.

[nicole]

Have you ever seen The Passion? Nothing that involves seeing the passion is a brag. My whole confession could be that I saw most of The Passion.

[Episiarch]

He didn't see The Passion, he was busy making out. See how utterly wrong you are here? You can't out think me, nicole, for I am a man and you are but an illogical female. You can't emote your way out of this. Stop crying!

[nicole]

Oh goddamn you. I wasn't going to bring this up, but you know who else liked Bon Jovi? My mom. That's right, I said you love Twilight.

[Episiarch]

I'M GOING DOWN IN A BLAZE OF BELLA

[Auric Demonocles]

Bill Belichick.

[A Serious Man]

I saw it with my dad when I was 12. The only time I cringed was when he was being flogged with the cat-o'nine-tails whip and when they actaully nail him to the cross.

Anyhow, I have long maintained that Gibson is a geuninely talented director and that The Passion is a well-staged, well-done film that's much more personal for people who are actually religious.

[PapayaSF]

Never saw that one, but I think Apocalypto is excellent, and not just because it's a first-rate action film. If it had been done by some no-name foreigner it would have been hailed as a triumph.

[Ska]

It all felt very sacrilicious.

[Episiarch]

See? He just can't stop bragging.

[Heroic Mulatto]

So let's see: he got a chick to go to a snuff film where he made out with her and fingerbanged her (I'm assuming) and did it behind some nuns. THAT'S BRAGGING.

Ska is a he?!?

[Episiarch]

Sometimes.

[protefeed]

If it was lesbian fingerbanging, that would be bragging even more.

[Dagny T.]

Ugh. Idiot. Refresh is my friend.

[Dagny T.]

Disqualified for not knowing the difference between confession and bragging.

[GILMORE]

I cheered when ET was dying. I didn't understand the movie. I thought he was an invader.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

I am T o n y.

[Francisco d Anconia]

I knew it.

[A Serious Man]

I am Mike Riggs.

[Auric Demonocles]

I am Spartacus.

[Jerry on the road]

Just last week I had to relisten to the album Dropped by Consolidated.

[SIV]

Worst...Band...Ever...

[The Bearded Hobbit]

Any secrets you don't want to take with you you may disclose here.

My horrible secret is. . . that I have no horrible secrets.

... Hobbit

[Dr. Frankenstein]

It's the end of the world as we know it. And I feel fine.

[BlogimiDei]

It's time I spent some time alone.

[Generic Stranger]

I drink alone.

Yeah, with nobody else.

Because when I drink alone

I prefer to be by myself.

[Fist of Etiquette]

As had been widely speculated, President Barack Obama has named Sen. John Kerry to succeed Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

So Warren will now be Big Chief Senior Senator? The Dems must be pretty confident with their prospects in Mass.

[Episiarch]

She heap qualified for top man on totem pole.

[Groovus Maximus]

How?

[Episiarch]

Paleface doctor heap unfamiliar with racist sarcasm. Like wigwam, only different.

[Groovus Maximus]

Smartazz awesomebro heap FAIL reading comprehension. **passes peace pipe**

Medicine Man Maximus catch big WHOOSH that flew over head...

[C. Anacreon]

You can't say "squaw" anymore because apparently that is not an Indian word for woman, but more of an equivalent for calling someone a "cunt." People out West have been fighting to change the name of Squaw Valley ski resort for quite awhile now.

[R C Dean]

I'm amazed that the only Native American Senator isn't on the Committee for Indian Affairs.

What a slap in the face to the Amerind Community which she so proudly represents.

[RBS]

Hahaha.

[A Serious Man]

HEEEEYYYYY SEXY LADY: Gangnam Style hits one billion views on YouTube.

And not to be outdone, Pakistani Londong immigrant fishmonger Muhammad Nazir has his own viral video about....One Pound Fish. But the dancers in the video are hot.

[Caleb Turberville]

People listen to "Gangam Style" as comedy, right?...RIGHT?!

[Atanarjuat]

It's kindof the tulip bulb craze, I guess. People listen because other people listen.

[Ted S.]

Some of us try not to listen to it at all.

(I hate K-Crap music.)

[Dagny T.]

K-Crap can be strangely intoxicating. If you hate someone, get his woman addicted to Korean dramas (aka mini-series soap operas). I went through a phase. This probably qualifies as my End of the World confession.

[nicole]

Strangely mirroring my bff...

[Dagny T.]

It helps to have a guide, because some of them are too sappy even for me. Favorite, in case you have time to kill over the holidays, would have to be this one. There, now hopefully someone will bitch at us for talking about such girly stuff.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Oh god...they showed that shit in Thailand when Jewel in the Palace was big.

Every Korean song, movie, and television show I have ever heard or seen sucked giant donkey dick.

It's enough to make a man play Starcraft for 48 hours straight.

[Professor Booty]

Try these:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0364569/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0374546/

[Dagny T.]

Oh, Prof. Booty (awesome name), you just reminded me of one of the greatest movies ever: Untold Scandal! It is marvelous. There is plenty of nudity, and sword fighting, and beautiful costumes, and Dangerous Liasons-style sexual shenanigans. I don't actually know what more you could ask for in a film. Untold Scandal!

[Heroic Mulatto]

Both of those look pretty good. Maybe they'll break the giant donkey dick trend?

[SIV]

I got nothin'

[Ted S.]

One of the NYC-area channels that I get on DirecTV is an ethnic/brokered station that has two hours of Korean programming every evening. The drama that airs on weeknights is invariably sappy, from what I've seen. They show history-themed serials on the weekends, which at least seem to have good production values. (I wonder just how much color the clothes had in real life.)

[Xenocles]

It actually is a parody of sorts.

[Zeb]

The song and video are obviously intended to be humourous, so I would hope so. I think it's pretty funny.

[Ska]

Not sure I want to know about Pakistani Londong.

[Anonymous Coward]

This is the one true Gangnam Style. The fat dork with glasses can kindly fuck off.

[Caleb Turberville]

It's nice that Obama has named Kerry to succeed Hillary. I knew this administration could suck harder if they'd only put their hearts into it.

[iggy]

This is the worst cabinet the country has ever had. Easily.

[Caleb Turberville]

It's like Obama is assembling the Dream Team of incompetence. All he needed to do was get rid of Hillary (who, let's face it, didn't totally buy in as a team player) with somebody who actually couldn't less popular if he tried: John Kerry.

[SIV]

Bill Kristol preferred Susan Rice. I call this a "win".

[21044]

^^This^^

[The Other Kevin]

Can't wait to see Kerry in hard-nosed negotiations with Putin. Also, windsurfing.

[BakedPenguin]

"I was winning the negotiation before I lost it."

[Sam Grove]

"the feds may have follow protectionist dairy regulations"

That's not the grammar I know.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The feds hate protectionist regulations almost as much as they hate artificially raising the price of things. Actually, exactly as much.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The part that requires the government to get probable-cause warrants to access private emails has been stripped from federal privacy legislation.

Like they're not reading your eCards already.

[Episiarch]

Like we didn't know this was going to happen.

[Auric Demonocles]

So they passed a Constitutional Amendment?

[Jersey Patriot]

Who still uses email?

[nicole]

This morning we had the SI Swimsuit Edition, and this afternoon, behold: superhot French rugby players. You're welcome, half-a-dozen of you.

[Enough About Palin]

That is some Grade-A gay shit right there.

[Episiarch]

THIS IS WHY THERE ARE NO FEMALE LIBERTARIANS

[Enough About Palin]

Right, because straight guys nude arm wrestle all the fucking time.

[Episiarch]

You looked at the pictures? That's totally gay.

[nicole]

Duh. And straight girls have naked pillow fights all the time. What's your point?

[A Serious Man]

True. Sororties and fraternities really take the whole "Greek living" thing a bit literally.

[Episiarch]

They...don't? Yes they do. Of course they do. Nude. Right?

[nicole]

Sometimes we wear underwear, what with all the jumping and bouncing.

[Enough About Palin]

"And straight girls have naked pillow fights all the time."

Pictures or it didn't happen.

[iggy]

I see straight girls have naked pillow fights all the time. Admittedly, that's usually because I'm forcing them to at gunpoint.

This is why we need stronger gun laws. So freaks like me can't exercise my perversions.

[CE]

Just search the Internet.

[protefeed]

Pictures or it didn't happen.

Just google it. Though how you would determine if they were straight or not is beyond me.

[Ted S.]

Austria's young farmers

There's calendar for men, and a calendar for women, regardless of whether you're gay, straight, or bi.

The only thing there isn't is one for Warty.

[Warty]

Yes there were. There were goats in that calendar, you idiot.

Also, February Girl is the winner.

[Francisco d Anconia]

And a chicken.

[Tonio]

Thanks, Nicole.

[Groovus Maximus]

Don't ever say I didn't do anything for you, Tonio.-)

Pavel's Tumblr.

Pozhalujsta, moj drug.-)

NSFW!!!!

Also, it's 00.26, 12-22-12 in Donets'k, the world, so far, seems in no danger of ending.

[Warty]

Are they better than your boyfriend Gregor Edmunds, though? I just need to know if you're leaving him, that's all.

[nicole]

I am, Warty. The last guy('s ass) is too perfect.

[Fist of Etiquette]

But because of the secretive way he wrote about it on Facebook, authorities panicked and thought he was threatening violence.

Santa Claus is a religious icon that has no place in a school. TAKE HIM DOWN.

[Auric Demonocles]

For those too lazy to RTF247:

"Students of cchs ur in for a big surprise tomorrow ."

That's apparently the threatening passage.

[Auric Demonocles]

GIVE ME AN EDIT BUTTON REASON!

Including the part that cut chopped off due to Reason's inequality phobia:

"Students of cchs ur in for a big surprise tomorrow [angle bracket]let the games begin[angle bracket]."

[A Serious Man]

Argentine woman wants to marry the man convicted of murdering her sister.

[Auric Demonocles]

Maybe she got off on an accessory charge?

[PapayaSF]

That is even more screwed up than the standard "I've fallen in love with a locked-up killer I've never met" crap.

There's probably a "single women voting for Obama" joke in here, but I'll pass on it.

[Zeb]

Apparently she thinks he's innocent. So that's a bit less screwed up than it might be.

[Eduard van Haalen]

OK, I see Antonio Banderas as the wrongfully-convicted prisoner, Salma Hayek or Eva Longoria as the woman who believes in his innocence and wants to marry him, Matt Damon as the Special Forces operative who springs Banderas from prison, and Michelle Rodriguez as Damon's romantic interest/fellow-commando. With Zack Galifianakis as the comic-relief - let's make him an American tourist.

But that's just off the top of my head. It all depends on who we can get.

[Zeb]

Yeah, that sounds about right.

[A Serious Man]

Pronunciation Nazi Pat Sajax cheats Wheel of Fortune contestant out of prize money over missing 'g' sound in puzzle answer.

[Ted S.]

At least he's not going to lecture you on how you need to know more about Canada.

(And I'm sure it was the producers who would have told him not to accept it.)

[CE]

In fairness to Pat, he IS running a game based on spelling correctly.

[PapayaSF]

It's a close call, but yes, I'd go with Sajak on this.

[Auric Demonocles]

She had already spelled out the G.

[Episiarch]

DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT PAT SAJAK

[Emmerson Biggins]

I now consider Sajak a turd burglar.

[Dr. Frankenstein]

That's Alex Trebek.

[Omni]

My favorite Wheel of fortune moment...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnxx1mWN-B0

[21044]

John Kerry, jeebus! If selecting Joe Biden wasn't a good enough reason to doubt Obama's executive decision making abilities, John Effing Kerry as SOS!

Biden and Kerry, some of the only US national level politicians that make Niel Kinnock look good.

There is a good quality, I guess you'd call it, about Biden though. If Obama puts him in charge of anything it is a good indication that Obama cares not about the success of whatever project Biden was selected to "lead".

[BakedPenguin]

It really does seem like the most vital characteristic of his staff is "don't make the boss look bad by comparison."

[Mad Scientist]

I'm much more cynical than that. I believe Obama thinks John Kerry would be good at the job.

[21044]

If you are right, we're eff'd.

[Mad Scientist]

This is the same guy who defends Eric Holder. Why would he have any problems with John Kerry?

[SIV]

Obama's best cabinet pick by far. Bil Kristol is whining that Kerry is too "non-interventionist".

[PapayaSF]

Kerry's another rich leftist who feels guilty about the history of the United States and wants us to be some sort of giant multicultural Scandinavia, so he's on Obama's wavelength.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Port strikes could hit coastal cities along the Gulf of Mexico and Atlantic...

I would just bypass the ports and deliver goods directly inland. Take that, longshoremen!

[Tonio]

WTF, Fist?

[Episiarch]

He's joking. He's always joking. In fact, never take him seriously. I suggest ignoring him. I do, every day.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

[Episiarch]

I'M IGNORING YOU RIGHT NOW.

[Resto Druid FTW]

LOVE. THAT. MOVIE.

[Stormy Dragon]

Is it bad that I love the network television version of the movie for all the silly replacement swearing?

[A Serious Man]

Needs more Peppermint Patty.

[Fist of Etiquette]

And then there's this.

[21044]

Or via Canuckistan

[CE]

But the NAFTA Superhighway was never finished!

[The Immaculate Trouser]

And the Grand Jury Prize For the Best Example of Respect In this Respectful Gun Debate On the Left That We've All Come To Respect Goes To...

One of the most annoying things that happens post-massacre is the gun nuts who can't even wait until the bodies are cold to seize on this opportunity to do their very favoritest thing in the world: wank on endlessly about about the various features of their favorite killing machines in excruciating detail, hoping you're impressed by what manly man men they are.

Got that?

[Episiarch]

I can't repeat this enough: TEAM BLUE is the literal personification of the concept of projection. If TEAM BLUE is accusing someone of something, it is an ironclad guarantee that they are doing it themselves.

[nicole]

The rationale for this is their claim that this information is necessary to discuss gun control, but of course, it's actually done in an effort to shut down productive conversation.

HAHAHAHA seriously though, no more Amanda Marcotte. I always forget she writes at Raw Story now and click through completely unsuspecting.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

I'm a generous soul; it pains me to keep such talent and insight tucked away for no one else to see.

[nicole]

You don't need to know absolutely everything about internal insurance billings or the practice of medicine to support health care reform. You don't need to know everything about the molecular structure of drugs in order to support FDA regulation of them. We hire experts to do this stuff and give them general parameters to work with. That's how regulation works.

I'm definitely starting to think peak retard is a myth.

[Episiarch]

I used to think sage was hyperbolic, but this kind of shit is changing my mind. The lack of self-awareness is...shocking. It's actually shocking. How does a person become like this?

[wareagle]

by never questioning what they hear all through childhood into young adulthood. By focusing on intentions rather than results and by equating politics with religion, wherein believing one's own dogma requires treating others' dogma as utter bullshit.

The true believers of any faith think everyone else is doomed to hell, evil, or both and probably worse. Same with the Team crowd.

[nicole]

But I'm the one who's supposed to still be shocked. You're supposed to be un-shock-able.

[iggy]

Protecting your rights against people who are taking advantage of dead bodies means that you are taking advantage of dead bodies.

Redefining words is also a very common progressive trait. How do you think they came to be called progressives.

[Anonymous Coward]

Amanda Marcotte, like most idiots, is fixated on her pussy.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

Most idiots are fixated on Marcotte's pussy?

Truly a terrifying existence.

[Anonymous Coward]

Even now, we're working on weaponizing it. It will be our final line of defense against dread Cthulhu (who should be waking up in a little under 8 hours, assuming the Mayans were on Pacific Time).

[Coeus]

And the comments are excruciating. Now she's basically given them permission to be wrong about every fact possible, so they act proud for calling for non-nonsensical laws.

[Caleb Turberville]

http://www.avclub.com/articles.....rin,90186/

Spin magazine ceases print publication. I did like their Kurt Cobain photography.

[SIV]

I didn't know Spin was still around. I used to read the very short Byron Coley pieces at the news rack.

[Ted S.]

Weren't they part of the HIV-doesn't-cause-AIDS nonsense back in the early 1990s?

[Caleb Turberville]

What causes it then?

[RBS]

The Government, duh.

[Caleb Turberville]

The government could be that evil, but never that successful.

[Ted S.]

I have no idea what they claimed as an alternative. I only remember the college radio station subscribing to Spin and browsing it a couple of times. One of the end-of-year issues congratulated themselves for a poll with increased support for the idea that it's not HIV that causes AIDS.

[Caleb Turberville]

The good thing about college students, though, is that they're probably already taking a microbiology course, anyway...Probably. It's just a matter of time before their misconceptions are corrected.

[RBS]

Are you trying to summon Terry Michael?

[GILMORE]

I think you're thinking of the former president of South Africa, Mbeki? He said AIDS could be averted with a warm shower.

[GILMORE]

The Latest Mass Shooting Occurred While NRA Officials Were Prepping To Go On Stage

http://www.slate.com/blogs/the.....efore.html

This is really what we need more than anything... another area for the Government to completely have a shit-tizzy over and decide to wrap their grubby mitts around.

I suspect despite all the hemming and hawing, they'll just kick the can just like they have everything else. Dems will blame GOP for being 'obstructionist'. Wheee.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

At this morning's D.C. press conference, NRA executive Wayne LaPierre did his best to place a relatively small frame around last week's tragedy in Newtown, suggesting the deaths of 20 elementary students and six school staff members was a problem mostly about school shootings specifically, and not gun violence in society at large.

What a dumbfuck. "Gun violence", as with all other forms of violent crime, have decreased substantially since the 90s and continue to decrease.

[Ted S.]

So gun-rights people should never speak up because somewhere else, somebody might be using a gun to commit murder?

[RBS]

Is that really a "mass" shooting?

[nicole]

It is now.

[R C Dean]

That was my question. Was this a random spree killing, an unusually energetic exchange of views on drug marketing, or what?

[RBS]

"It's yet unclear exactly when the shooting began. Gawker, which was one of the first national outlets to flag the shooting,"

Responsible journalism at its best.

[GILMORE]

RBS| 12.21.12 @ 4:59PM |#

Is that really a "mass" shooting?

naw, more of a "Pee-Aay" thing.

And any use of a firearm within the next few months will be a sign of the rampant out of control gun violence in america

[The Other Kevin]

Well, we heard a LOT about gun violence in the last 7 days. It was all over the news. Therefore, there must be a lot of it, and it must be on the rise.

[Professor Booty]

SUMMER OF THE SHARK

[fish]

So what? 40 shot and 8 killed is an average warm Chicago weekend! Society seems to soldier on through that.....the staff at Slate really needs to take a Valium.

[Killazontherun]

Makes you wonder. If you leave out Chicago, how much would the rate of violence and number of deaths be decreased in the stats?

[BakedPenguin]

Even in Chicago, murders are about 1/2 of what they were in the 1990s.

[GILMORE]

Majority of Rich Want Themselves Taxed More

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/.....37266.html

Majority of Me wants to kick Majority of Rich in the balls and take their money because they dont deserve it. I will crush their faux-monocle under my boot!

[Ted S.]

Since I'm too lazy to clich through to the article, does it contain the address for donations to the Treasury?

[Caleb Turberville]

That's a scam. They divert the monies to a giant hole in the ground in Joshua Tree national park...The Money Hole; maybe you've heard of it?

[Ted S.]

I've heard of The Money Pit, but Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House is better.

[kibby]

Yes, yes it certainly is.

[Dagny T.]

That is such a load. Ask their accountants if they claim all the deductions they qualify for.

[Sevo]

GILMORE| 12.21.12 @ 4:58PM |#
"Majority of Rich Want Themselves Taxed More"

But every time they give money away, it is NEVER to the government. They always give it to an organization that delivers actual results.
State vs revealed preference; Buffett's a goddam hypocrite.

[Anonymous Coward]

67% of those polled by American Express Publishing and the Harrison Group (article fails to explain who these groups are or why I should trade my perfectly-shaped shits for their statistics) say that their taxes should go up. However, 64% of this same sample says their tax burden is too high.

In other words, without more information, this poll smacks of methodology failure and this article can best be described as phoning it in.

[CE]

The part that requires the government to get probable-cause warrants to access private emails has been stripped from federal privacy legislation.

No, I think this is wrong. I just checked, and the 4th Amendment hasn't been repealed.

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

[Auric Demonocles]

Dang, you beat me to it.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

"Gosh, it sure is a drag to have to defend my principles!"

So, I had a weird night. Usually, wingnuts' online barely-concealed pleasure at hearing about nasty violence towards women and their tendency to see everything, even horrible crime, as an opportunity to score points rolls off my back. But yesterday afternoon, a small story broke on local media and started to roll out to national media about the son of a Democratic congressman pleading guilty to taking his girlfriend's head and bashing it against a trashcan, causing a broken nose and a skull fracture. This opportunity to relish the details of a nasty attack against a young woman while simultaneously pretending that they've outed feminists for "hypocrisy" (getting to hit women is apparently the new getting to say "n*gger" for the right) sent them around the bend, and much jerking off appeared to have happened. Alas, it made my night really weird.

Curious that the feminist response to Democrats abusing the shit out of women is always:

1) Exasperation at having to condemn the Dem

2) Defending or engaging in apologetics for the Dem

3) Ignoring the issue and chastising those who notice

It's almost like they don't really care about abuse of women at all.

[RBS]

How is this any different than how this same person most likely reacted to the Newtown shooting?

[Episiarch]

Projection, dude. Projection. Always and forever.

[wareagle]

politics as faith, dude. It's a higher level than politics being personal; it's spiritual with these folks. You don't just disagree with them; you are an apostate.

[Ted S.]

Is that Amanda Marcotte again?

[The Immaculate Trouser]

I'm at risk of becoming a one-trick pony here, aren't I?

[fish]

You aren't...she certainly is!

[Killazontherun]

The best way to think of Marcotte is like this. He skull is a barrel, the thoughts therein are squirmy fish. Our criticisms of her are like a shotgun aimed inside that barrel.

Or, her head is like a tree, and her musings are like fruit hanging very close to the ground . . .

[Heroic Mulatto]

Dear Ms. Marcotte,

If you are writing in the journalistic sense, it's acceptable to use the word "nigger". It won't offend our sensibilities. You don't need to expurgate the word, like a 19th century translation of Classical Greek homoerotic poetry. Do you believe that we will enter a berserker rage at the mere sight of the word "nigger"? In our day and age, such things only occur when Muslims hear of a Youtube video. You can rest easy that the "angry Negro" is a myth, and we won't rush to set your offices on fire.

Seriously, the vast majority of us possess the intelligence to understand the semantic context of words. It is an insult to suggest otherwise. Indeed, the only people who would froth at the mouth with outrage at the mere sight of "nigger" are the boy-haircut, prune-faced, Baby Boomer, White female "ethnic studies" professors at whose feet you received what you erroneously refer to as an education.

Therefore, on behalf of the community of Color, I hereby grant Amanda Marcotte the permission to write the word "nigger" without need for self-censorship. We shall add this qualification on your race card within the week.

Sincerely,
Heroic Mulatto

[VG Zaytsev]

Do you believe that we will enter a berserker rage at the mere sight of the word "nigger"? In our day and age, such things only occur when Muslims hear of a Youtube video.

Or certain libertarians see the word cosmo

[Episiarch]

Aww...somebody's still butthurt. It'll get better, big guy.

[VG Zaytsev]

I'm not butthurt about that. I think it's funny the way that people fly into a rage over that word.

[heller]

No one rages, they just laugh because only yokeltarians call people cosmos.

[VG Zaytsev]

Whatever cosmo.

[SIV]

Or certain libertarians see the word cosmo

When they say KULTUR WAR it's projection.
Every...single...time.

[Episiarch]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Episiarch]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Episiarch]

Aww...somebody else is permanently butthurt. It won't get better, big guy.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Or certain libertarians see the word cosmo

Speaking of Cosmo....

[Groovus Maximus]

She must recently read about "N-word Privileges".

[Zeb]

I hope you actually sent that to her.

[Heroic Mulatto]

I hope you actually sent that to her.

I don't know if it's worth registering at their site.

Besides, she'll just accuse me of not really being "Black/Brown," like every Progressive in history, and Ken Shultz, for not agreeing with her views.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

It's a trap, Amanda! That's his white half talking!

[Heroic Mulatto]

I loled.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

Seriously though, awesome response. Belongs in the same category as W Williams' certificate of amnesty.

[Killazontherun]

LOLPBUH.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Hey HM, can I get a nigger pass, too? I live in Long Beach so it could come in pretty handy. I've got a long weekend, and would like to try it out. Also, if you have any spare gook passes, I would like one of those as well. Thanks!

[Heroic Mulatto]

Sure, just send the prestigious fee to the foundation.

I'll inquire with my wife about that gook pass.

[Heroic Mulatto]

*prerequisite fee

Damn autocorrect.

[Agammamon]

Woah, woah, woah, who made you emperor of black people?

[Cyto]

He's attempting to use the Jessie Jackson / Al Sharpton method of self-anointment.

This particular voodoo doesn't work if you don't have a corpse to stand on. Sorry Hero. The good thing is that Rev Al proved that even a pretend corpse will do.

[The Late P Brooks]

authorities panicked and thought he was threatening violence.

Is anybody keeping track of how many "Me too, me too!" false alarm panic attacks and school shutdowns have happened in the past week?

If I wanted to rob a bank, the first thing I'd do is call 911 and tell them I saw a suspicious character dressed in black skulking around some school.

[A Serious Man]

Every single woman in America is now curvy, and that's a good thing.

[Episiarch]

I read the article, but...it doesn't say anything. I mean it literally says nothing. It's like eating air or sugar free Jello.

[Auric Demonocles]

It doesn't have to say anything. It had a picture of Christina Hendricks above it.

[Auric Demonocles]

Every single woman in America is now curvy

My experience from online dating tells me that this is apparently true.

and that's a good thing.

It vehemently disagrees with this.

[Jordan]

I don't think the Jezzies understand that curvy and morbidly obese are not the same thing.

[A Serious Man]

Exactly. I mean I'm not a chubby chaser, but at the same time it isn't a turn off for me if an otherwise attractive girl has a few extra pounds somewhere on her.

[Heroic Mulatto]

it isn't a turn off for me if an otherwise attractive girl has a few extra pounds somewhere on her [chest].

Jus' sayin'

[Auric Demonocles]

Curvy can be attractive. A lot of women who call themselves curvy are not.

[Mad Scientist]

I don't think Jezzies understand that women are so damned concerned about their appearance because of other women.

[Anonymous Coward]

There's a bright, red line between "curvy" and "rotund."

[Heroic Mulatto]

My dad taught me a long time ago that there was a difference between a woman with a big ass, and a big-ass woman.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

Your father was Sir Mix-A-Lot??

This explains much which was heretofore unexplained...

[Heroic Mulatto]

Your father was Sir Mix-A-Lot??

I wish!

[EDG reppin' LBC]

You'd be alot cooler if he was.

[Ted S.]

I think you mean "big ass-woman".

[Heroic Mulatto]

That would be Andressa Soares.

[Killazontherun]

Dead perp will not get in the way of finding someone to arrest. Via Drudge.

Shop Where Nancy Lanza Bought Gun Raided By Feds...

[Heroic Mulatto]

I hope they brought torches and pitchforks with them.

[Mad Scientist]

All indications are Thursday's raid was not directly related to the Newtown massacre investigation, but, as Besthoff reported, it was related to several other crimes committed at the store, including the recent theft of an AR-15 and the attempted theft of a .50-caliber long gun, both by a man with mental illness, Besthoff reported.

So they raided the store because it was burglarized? Why, that makes total sense.

[Episiarch]

Of course it makes sense: this is now no longer about anything except politics. It took zero time at all for this to go 100% political, just like the Trayvon Martin thing. Welcome to our brave new world.

[Mad Scientist]

Jane, get me off this crazy thing.

[Killazontherun]

That gave me a big, 'huh?!?!' too. A raid to investigate a reported crime.

[GILMORE]

Hey, the "crime" they were investigating was whether this gun-selling monster included the dreaded "flash hider" or infamous "bayonet lug" on their death-dealing tools of evil.

[Killazontherun]

Glad they are on the job to protect us from the big, bad scary men. Without the federal LEOs this country would be the Wild West all over again.

[Coeus]

Maybe Marcotte's the new director of the BATFE.

[Killazontherun]

Curious about what Jennifer Garner is up to of late. The subject matter of her next movie sounds very libertarian oriented:

Dallas Buyers Club

Loosely based on the true-life tale of Ron Woodroof, a drug taking, women loving, homophobic man who, in 1986 was diagnosed with full blown HIV/AIDS and given thirty days to live. He started taking the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved AZT, the only legal drug available in the U.S, which brought him to the brink of death. To survive, he smuggled non-toxic, anti-viral medications from all over the world, but yet still illegal in the U.S. Other AIDS patients sought out his medications forgoing hospitals, doctors and AZT. With the help of his Doctor, Eve Saks and a fellow patient, Rayon, Ron unintentionally created the Dallas Buyers Club, the first of dozens which would form around the country, providing its paying members with these alternative treatments. The clubs, growing in numbers and clientele, were brought to the attention of the FDA and pharmaceutical companies which waged an all out war on Ron...

[VG Zaytsev]

La Pierre spews pro gun hysteria

How do we protect our children right now, starting today, in a way that we know works?

The only way to answer that question is to face up to the truth. Politicians pass laws for Gun-Free School Zones. They issue press releases bragging about them. They post signs advertising them.

And in so doing, they tell every insane killer in America that schools are their safest place to inflict maximum mayhem with minimum risk.

How is any libertarian supposed to defend that insanity?

[Auric Demonocles]

What about that logic is wrong?

Do Gun Free zones not tell people that all law abiding people there will be unarmed?

Could someone looking to kill a large number of people not consider the chance of meeting resistance when determining a location?

[VG Zaytsev]

And even worse pro gun hysteria such as this:

The media call semi-automatic firearms "machine guns" ? they claim these civilian semi-automatic firearms are used by the military, and they tell us that the .223 round is one of the most powerful rifle calibers ... when all of these claims are factually untrue. They don't know what they're talking about!

Worse, they perpetuate the dangerous notion that one more gun ban ? or one more law imposed on peaceful, lawful people ? will protect us where 20,000 others have failed!

WTF????

That crazy shit just smears all defenders of the 2nd amendment.

[heller]

What about this

When it comes to the most beloved, innocent and vulnerable members of the American family?our children?we as a society leave them utterly defenseless, and the monsters and predators of this world know it and exploit it. That must change now!

The truth is that our society is populated by an unknown number of genuine monsters?people so deranged, so evil, so possessed by voices and driven by demons that no sane person can possibly ever comprehend them. They walk among us every day. And does anybody really believe that the next Adam Lanza isn't planning his attack on a school he's already identified at this very moment?

How many more copycats are waiting in the wings for their moment of fame?from a national media machine that rewards them with the wall-to-wall attention and sense of identity that they crave?while provoking others to try to make their mark? A dozen more killers? A hundred? More? How can we possibly even guess how many, given our nation's refusal to create an active national database of the mentally ill?

[VG Zaytsev]

Again, what part of that is pro gun hysteria?

[VG Zaytsev]

Oh yeah, it's this part

The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.

How dare he spout such pro gun hysterical nonsense.

[heller]

That's not even in the part I quoted you disingenuous obsessive little twerp. It's patently clear, unless you are deliberately ignoring La Pierre's words, that he is using pro-gun hysteria. Not only are you dead wrong, you can't seem to stop shouting out how wrong you are in multiple threads.

[Episiarch]

I warned him that obsession wasn't good for him, heller, but he didn't listen.

[heller]

All of it, especially the bold parts. Saying if we don't have more guns the children will be killed by monsters = pro-gun hysteria.

[VG Zaytsev]

Nothing that you bolded says if we don't have more guns.....

You seem to think that the general thrust of it takes an armed guy to stop and armed guy is pro gun hysteria.

But when I actually quoted that part of the speech you call me a disingenuous twerp - implying that was not the part you found hysterical.

And now you are misquoting your own quote.

So what the fuck are you talking about?

[heller]

No, you're a fucking fool.

Saying we leave our children defenseless means we need more guns to defend our children. Of course, that assumes that our children are under a grave threat, which is hysteria.

[VG Zaytsev]

And this obvious pro gun hysteria

Now, I can imagine the shocking headlines you'll print tomorrow morning: "More guns," you'll claim, "are the NRA's answer to everything!" Your implication will be that guns are evil and have no place in society, much less in our schools. But since when did the word "gun" automatically become a bad word?

A gun in the hands of a Secret Service agent protecting the President isn't a bad word. A gun in the hands of a soldier protecting the United States isn't a bad word. And when you hear the glass breaking in your living room at 3 a.m. and call 911, you won't be able to pray hard enough for a gun in the hands of a good guy to get there fast enough to protect you.

So why is the idea of a gun good when it's used to protect our President or our country or our police, but bad when it's used to protect our children in their schools?

What a monster!

[heller]

Only a dumb shit would think quoting something else proves he didn't use pro-gun hysteria.

[VG Zaytsev]

And only a dumbshit can think thatthe part that you quoted can accurately be described as pro gun hysteria.

[heller]

We've already determined you're a dumb shit, so I don't think you're opinion of me as a dumb shit can be taken seriously. It's sort of like a retard getting angry at a non-retard for no reason.

[Episiarch]

Having a little trouble letting that go, big guy? Obsession isn't good for you.

[VG Zaytsev]

Yeah I am.

Pro-gun hysteria makes it sound like he had a Piers Morgan level meltdown.

It's the first prominent public defense (as imperfect as it was) of gun rights since the hysteria started and it pisses me off to see it called anti gun hysteria by someone that knows better.

Especially when that is the exact same language used by the anti gun nuts. And it's still one of the headlines of a featured article on the home page.

[Auric Demonocles]

Ah, there appears to have been some history behind this, while I was off actually working for once.

[Zeb]

"Pro-gun hysteria makes it sound like he had a Piers Morgan level meltdown."

Yeah. Maybe it would have if he hadn't followed it with a whole article demonstrating nothing of the sort.

[VG Zaytsev]

Today the National Rifle Association broke its silence on the Sandy Hook massacre, and its strategy seems to be fighting anti-gun hysteria with pro-gun hysteria

First, fucking sentence.

And no he does not follow it with any indication that La Pierre was anything but a madman frothing at the mouth to exploit the crimes just like proggies such as Morgan have done.

[heller]

So Sullum has to say everything he doesn't mean so that idiots like you don't take offense? Why is it Yokeltarians are always complaining about what people don't write instead of what they do? Is it because they're illiterate?

[VG Zaytsev]

Gee I don't know. Maybe because summarized the half of the speech focusing on defending self defense and gun rights as pro gun hysteria just like the fucking gun grabbers are doing

[heller]

If that's what you took away from the post, you're illiterate.

[Anonymous Coward]

You would think that for all of the trained attorneys America has in elected positions, someone would appreciate the concept of "mens rea." For all of these "wise" leaders we have, someone would understand the simple notion that a person who intends to kill will act on that intent by the most expedient means possible. If Adam Lanza didn't have access to a firearm but did have access to chemicals, a steel pipe, fuse and a detonator, walked into Sandy Hook Elementary with a bomb under his arm and killed 20 children, would we be talking about "Pipe Control" right now?

[Zeb]

We'd probably be talking about controlling some of those chemicals.

[Anonymous Coward]

A three-day waiting period before you can buy fertilizer?

[A Serious Man]

There a lot of mass shootings at gun shows and shooting ranges?

[VG Zaytsev]

Sullum, in an early post today referred to that as pro-gun hysteria. And everyone jumped my ass for calling him a douche for doing so.

[RBS]

That's because you're an illiterate douche.

[VG Zaytsev]

Thank god for this voice recognition software.

[heller]

You see VG Zaytsev is making a very logical point: Not everything La Pierre said is pro-gun hysteria, therefore La Pierre did not say use pro-gun hysteria.

[VG Zaytsev]

Look, if you want to call some of what he said crap, fine I'll agree. Some of it was completely unworkable, creepy even.

But it's not fucking pro gun hysteria.

And also half of the speech is a solid defense of gun rights. I wish that he'd gone further and called for allowing concealed carry by the staff in schools, it was probably a tactical decision not too. Even so it was the most prominent defense of gun rights since the massacre last friday and it didn't deserve the smear job that Sullum did to it.

[heller]

Yeah it is. Jacob quoted the part that was and called him out for it. I don't see why you've gone full out Canceling My Subscription! mode over this.

[GILMORE]

"Quit moaning you open-borders America-Killer. How dare you consider yourself a defender of the constitution you MexicoCanamarican New World Order Gay-lover who thinks my kids should do drugs while being taught there is no God"

*VG - the above is perhaps why people think you're being a little silly for making a huge issue about this.

(i.e. pulling the "more Pro-Gun than this @#*(&$@ rag!~!" card)

[VG Zaytsev]

I'm not sure who you're quoting there but it isn't me.

[GILMORE]

That sound you heard was the joke going over your head.

[Anonymous Coward]

Mass killings are okay when authorized by the CIA and carried out via Hellfire missile.

69 Pakistani children < 20 American children.

[VG Zaytsev]

Randian says so,
so it must be true.

[Auric Demonocles]

They weren't shot, so it doesn't count as gun violence. Who cares about other kinds of violence (unless it's domestic)?

[Anonymous Coward]

I would imagine their parents/relatives/various kin are more concerned with missile violence than gun violence.

[Jordan]

Progressives don't care about government-inflicted violence; hell, it gives them a huge boner. They only care when a subject steps out of line.

[Caleb Turberville]

Wasn't the largest school massacre in American history carried out by explosives?

[Mad Scientist]

It sure was.

[GILMORE]

"69 Pakistani children < 20 American children"

ppppt.

1 American Child GREATER THAN Entire population of Pakistan

Any American child is worth more than most nations in the Southern hemisphere. An American child is a precious and magical and irreplacible snowflake which will power the future like a flux capacitor on Barry Bonds' cocktail sauce. An American child is like the last living snow leopard wrapped in precious gems which shits saffron scented ambergris.

I support corporal punishment however

[mad libertarian guy]

Actually, it's mad libertarian guy.

Why, oh why did my hat tip have to come in Reason 24 fucking 7?

[Mad Scientist]

You'll be capitalized and like it!

[mad libertarian guy]

Apparently.

[GILMORE]

Why, oh why did my hat tip have to come in Reason 24 fucking 7?

becawse you have been veewy veewy nawwty

[Enjoy Every Sandwich]

Thanks to the fiscal cliff impasse shoving aside the farm bill, the feds may have to follow protectionist dairy regulations that could cause milk prices to more than double.

Any bets on how long it will take the Left to call this "market failure"?