A.M. Links: Bolton Suggests Clinton Faked Concussion, Samuel L. Jackson Wades Into Gun Debate, French President Pushes For Banking Reform, Gun Control Task Group Announced, Obama is Time's Person of the Year


  • John Bolton has suggested that Hillary Clinton might have caught a "diplomatic illness" that prevented her from testifying on the Benghazi fiasco. The State Department maintains that Clinton fainted and hit her head. 
  • Several networks are projecting that Park Gyeun-hye will win South Korea's presidential election. She will be South Korea's first female president.  
  • French President Francois Hollande has proposed splitting banks' trading and lending operations. 
  • A bill backed by Netflix that will make it easier to share film-viewing habits was passed by the House.

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  1. The announcement came shortly before the president was declared Time’s “Person of the Year.”

    Justice Roberts got shafted, by the way.

    1. the president was declared Time’s “Person of the Year.”

      Paging Barfman.

      1. Did he do anything at all this year besides campaign and kill people in the Middle East?

        1. Lowered his handicap.

      2. Meh. Hitler and Stalin were also Time Men of the Year.

        1. Yeah, well, “YOU” were Time Person of the Year as well, so there!

          1. Yeah, well, “YOU” were Time Person of the Year as well, so there!

            One of my proudest moments highlighted on my curriculum vitae.

            1. Same here, but for some reason employers are less than impressed when I show them my cover, what gives?

        2. You’re not supposed to tell us who else was Person of the Year. You’re supposed to phrase it as a question….

    2. Obama edged out Malala Yousufzai, a Pakistani girl shot in the head by the Taliban for advocating girls’ education, for the honor, Stengel said.

      Sorry little girl, but he is the fucking President.

      1. I think that little girl should have won.

        1. Oh come on, Obama is clearly better. He doesn’t let the Taliban shoot him in the head, he shoots them in the head. Obviously his plan is smarter than this little girl’s.

        2. You dogmatic racist (new phrase, inspired by Tony)

          1. Really? Where did he say that? I want to read it.

            1. He didn’t. I was just inspired by his overuse of the word dogma.

    3. Shouldn’t Romney have been Person of the Year?

  2. Samuel L. Jackson doesn’t think gun control is the right way to address mass shootings.

    Motherfucking gun control on these motherfucking planes.

    1. That’s the bravest thing a major star could do. Hat’s off.

      1. “I grew up in the South with guns everywhere and we never shot anyone. This [shooting] is about people who aren’t taught the value of life.”

        That’s the case to be made.

        I said that Mrs. Lanza didn’t even recognize how troubled her son was. If some people can’t take the role of motherhood seriously, we should just ban mothers!

    2. “… at the advice of his lawyers, who worry that liability could blow back.”

    3. You didn’t tell me he had a muthafuckin hand cannon!

    4. Adam Carolla was pointing out that Sam Jackson was staying in the suite next to him in Winnipeg, because he’s shooting a movie there. And why are they shooting in freezing ass Winnipeg instead of Hollywood? Huge tax breaks, tax subsidies, and less powerful unions, you know all those things Jackson, as a leftie water-carrying socialist detests. Well except for the tax subsidies, the film industry ought to be subsidies because it is such an amazing art form, like cowboy poetry.

      1. I remember reading some article quoting Ari Emanuel (Rahm’s brother and Hollywood agent) talking about how beneficial tax breaks were to the film industry. This is at the same time he’s giving money to shitlibs pushing for high taxes on individuals and corporations outside the entertainment sphere.

  3. A bill backed by Netflix that will make it easier to share film-viewing habits was passed by the House.

    Ugh. Netflix is going to share with the world what it already thinks: that I’m either a woman or a gay?

    1. We all think that already.

      1. Even the world’s worst ephebophile wouldn’t sit through Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants as many times as FOE has.


          1. Fist, I will watch Love Actually with you over, and over, and over again, forever, because Colin Firth. I know you understand.

            1. You know his part seemed really shoe-horned in there.

              1. Sort of. But it’s not like that matters.

              2. That’s what sh-

                Fuck it. Never mind.

            2. my wife and I watch that annually. and the Firth story line is my favorite. but not b/c of Firth.

              1. I think the Portuguese chick is hot.

                1. damn skippy

          2. That’s such a fake chick-flick. There’s way too much nudity and Bill Nighy to be a chick-flick.

            1. Take it up a notch and watch The ENglish Patient. Amateurs.

              1. English Patient is in the ideal in-flight film, particularly if you normally have trouble sleeping on planes.

                1. When I moved back to the US, I was welcomed with in-flight movies of Mannequin 2* and King Ralph. It almost made me renounce my citizenship.

                  *it might have been the first. Im not going on imdb and looking up the release dates, I just dont care.

              2. So I get to watch Willem Dafoe chew the scenery AND get credit for watching a chick flick?! Count me in!!!

                1. I am forced to admit I like “Love Actually”, and yes the Portuguese chick is hot. But the “English Patient” was the last time I suffered through a movie to get laid…I will never pay that price again. I will go to east Colfax if I have to and pay 19.95 for the tuesday special.

    2. “We are pleased the house has moved to modernize the VPPA, giving consumers more freedom to share with friends when they want,” the streaming company said in a statement. “We look forward to swift action in the Senate.”

      The bill is similar to a proposal approved last month by the Senate Judiciary Committee, minus language inserted by Sen. Patrick Leahy requiring police to obtain search warrants before accessing files stored in the cloud, including e-mail.

      It has the magic words “share with friends”, which for some reason everybody feels is just THE COOLEST THING TO DO?!

      1. Share with Officer Friendly! He’s everyone’s friend, except for criminals.

        And you’re not a criminal are you?!

      2. It has the magic words “share with friends”,

        Once again, this is why I don’t do the Facebook thing.

        1. I use Facebook, I just am smart enough to not click “Like” on pages outside of Facebook.

          1. Doesn’t matter, if you have a facebook account, the “like/unlike” controls register your visit when the page is loaded, even if you don’t click them.

          2. I hate those links anyhow, since they always seem to be terrible memory hogs.

        2. Because you don’t have any friends to share with?

        3. I don’t get it either. I bought a saw the other day on Amazon and it asked me if I wanted to “share” my new purchase. Why the fuck would I want to do that?

          1. You bought a saw?!? If only I’d have known. Now I have to return your damn Xmas present and get you a new one.

          2. call me crazy, but seems hitting the “share” button will only need to a flurry of new emails suggesting you buy this or that.

          3. OH, shit. Did I just share that Justin Bieber sex doll I bought as a joke gift for my housemate? This is gonna be an awkward facebook day.

            1. The one called Just-in Beaver?

              1. Are we facebook friends?

            2. For your “housemate”…

              uhh,… yeah.

        4. Facebook is kind of pointless if you don’t have friends.

          1. you know who else didn’t have friends?


            *runs out of room*

            1. “Hey, we all need friends in here. I could be a friend to you.”

              1. While only a movie, the thought of that liberal fuck Tim Robbins getting repetitively anally raped brings a smile to my face.

                Does that make me a bad libertarian?

            2. Joey Joe Jo Jim Bob Shabadou?

          2. What are these friends you speak of and where may one acquire some?

            1. Well, at the monocle store there were child laboring friends on discount.

      3. You know what else you (well, some people) can “share with friends” ….

        1. artesan mayonnaise?

        2. Anal gonorrhea?

      4. Why do they need a law to let people share their records with their friends? Couldn’t they just make that an option, and let you opt in?

  4. ‘Welfare Spending Equates to $168 Per Day for Every Household in Poverty’

    “Based on data from the Congressional Research Service, cumulative spending on means-tested federal welfare programs, if converted into cash, would equal $167.65 per day per household living below the poverty level,” writes the minority side of the Senate Budget Committee. “By comparison, the median household income in 2011 of $50,054 equals $137.13 per day. Additionally, spending on federal welfare benefits, if converted into cash payments, equals enough to provide $30.60 per hour, 40 hours per week, to each household living below poverty. The median household hourly wage is $25.03. After accounting for federal taxes, the median hourly wage drops to between $21.50 and $23.45, depending on a household’s deductions and filing status. State and local taxes further reduce the median household’s hourly earnings. By contrast, welfare benefits are not taxed

    tldr version: welfare average income

    1. Who could possibly live on just over $61K a year.

    2. Oh that’s sustainable.

    3. I need to start getting me some of that there welfare. And here I am working a job like AN IDIOT!

      1. I need to start getting me some of that there welfare. And here I am working a job like AN IDIOT!

        Just because the government is spending the equivalent of $168 per day for every household in poverty, it doesn’t mean that you’d get anywhere near that much on welfare. It just means that the government is so inefficient that that kind of money does nothing to get people out of poverty. It also means that instead of funding monstrous bureaucracies, we’d save money if we just cut $50k checks annually to each family on welfare.

        1. Hell, I used to live on my own (i.e. no roommates) in DC (not the ‘burbs) on $35k.

          1. Hell, I used to live on my own (i.e. no roommates) in DC (not the ‘burbs) on $35k.

            I’m impressed.

            1. She didn’t say when she did this. Kirsten could be 90 years old and did this at the end of the 1940s.

              1. I’m guessing she used artisanal chamberpots.

              2. HA! Late 1990’s. The key is to live in one of those…what do you call them….”transitional” neighborhoods, and drink and eat at shitholes unless someone else is buying.

        2. Negative income tax.

          Convert the 30% efficiency to something probably about 90%.

        3. Just because the government is spending the equivalent of $168 per day for every household in poverty, it doesn’t mean that you’d get anywhere near that much on welfare. It just means that the government is so inefficient that that kind of money does nothing to get people out of poverty.

          The growth of bureaucratic bloat is going to do more than anything else to kill welfare programs. Just look at the growth of administrative offices in academia, which has outstripped growth in professors for years. For probably half the tuition cost, most colleges could cut a lot of the bullshit programs they have in place for their third-tier trash clerks and still have enough left over to give their less-tenured instructors a raise.

    4. Yeah, ZeroHedge had a really depressing article about that:

      …the single mom is better off earnings gross income of $29,000 with $57,327 in net income & benefits than to earn gross income of $69,000 with net income and benefits of $57,045.

  5. A bill backed by Netflix that will make it easier to share film-viewing habits was passed by the House.

    I can’t wait until the Fist of Etiquette ‘Broken Arrow’ clause goes into effect.

    1. Broken Arrow was a fine film with subtle performances from BOTH Slater AND Travolta, and it woke the nation up to the dangers of unsecured, domestic nuclear arms.

      1. You’re forgetting the most important part: HOWIE LONG’S FILM DEBUT.

      2. I kept thinking of Broken Bow instead.

  6. The announcement came shortly before the president was declared Time’s “Person of the Year.”

    Do you know who else was declared Time’s “Person of the Year”?

    1. Me?

      1. First a mirror, then a chair. How many inanimate objects can they get away with calling a person?

        1. It better not ever be a frackin’ toaster.

          1. +1 plan

        2. The announcement came shortly before CORPORASHUNS!!11! were declared Time’s “Person of the Year”.


        3. You’re a towel!

      1. There was only one computer back then?

  7. I wonder what proportion of Koreans are named either “Park” or “Kim”? Seems like an awful lot.

    1. Those are the most common family names.

      It’s important to remember that in Korean, the family name comes first, the individuals name second.

      1. I knew that much. But you’d think that for practical reasons they’d want to come up with some new ones. I think that “Nguyen” in Vietnam is even more prevalent.

        1. Come down to New Mexico and gaze in wonder at the proliferation of Lujans.

        2. Yeah, the last mayoral election in Ho Chi Minh City was Nguyen vs. Nguyen. Either way it was a Nguyen-win situation.

    2. My dry cleaner is named Rhee. Those three names are about 90% of the Korean Collective.

      1. where does the Lee clan fit in?

        1. Fucking transliteration. Rhee/Lee/Yee/Yi are all the same surname in Korean.

          1. Isn’t Lee Chinese?

          2. A friend of mine’s father spelled it E when he came to the country.

            He is the only person I know with a single letter last name. No computer system in the world gets it right. All of his credit cards have his middle initial as E.

            For example, lets same his name is John Doe E. His credit cards says “John E Doe”.

            And its really worse than that, because his given name is a smushed together english/korean name, so they are splitting his first name around the E. JohnDoe E – John E Doe.

      2. 5 last names account for something like 95%+. There was a weird issue with marraige laws, because (IIRC) the Koreans didn’t want no consanguinity, so you couldn’t marry someone with the same last name. They modified that a few years back so they’ll recognize such marraiges, but you have to leave the country to get married.

        Please don’t ask me why I remember this.

        1. That’s a dumb way of accomplishing the goal, anyway. I have first cousins I don’t share a family name with, and third cousins that I do share it with.

    3. I live/teach in Korea right now: Kim/Park/Lee family names make up something like ~70% of all surnames.

      And the given names are just as repetitive. At my school we put letters after the names of repeats so we can distinguish what class they’re in.

      We have at least 5 Kim So Young’s that I am aware of. It’s….not easy to negotiate.

      Hence why we love when kids readily adopt English names.

        1. Not that I’d be interested in. But you know what they say.

          They stay So Young and I stay…so Steve Smithy.

          Fuck. I got NOTHING!

  8. Hillary caught a “diplomatic illness”. That rocks.

    1. “I am not going to get into the details beyond saying that she’s on the mend,” Nuland said,

      adding, “as is the Benghazi, um, tragedy.”

  9. The State Department maintains that Clinton fainted and hit her head.

    Swooning like she did in that bin Laden raid situation room picture.

    1. War rooms are no place for a woman. Unless said war room has a stove or unfolded laundry.

      1. What if I’m in the War Room and I need a beer?

        1. Your War Room doesn’t have the recliners with the built in coolers? Sounds like you need to call Tony Siragusa and get the Ultimate War Room Man Cave makeover.

        2. What if I’m in the War Room and I need a beer?

          That’s what kids are for.

          1. I don’t let kids in the War Room at all. Not after that whole Uganda fiasco.

      2. No fighting in the war room!

        1. Or texting “May1” to the intended target of the hit.

    2. Personally I am hoping for Hillary Clintons quick recovery. How will this country survive without her

      Expertise in cattle futures and real estate

      Her willingness to be bi-partisan as shown by her keeping Republican confidential FBI files in her private quarters in case she need to read them and recommend a Republican to a Democratic administration

      Her heath care plan that brought both Republicans and Democrats together in voting it down.

      Her multiple winning of the Tammy Wynette “stand by her man” award

      1. Her unmatched luck in disposing of political and personal enemies in various accidents, all to allow her moderate centrist husband to become president and allow the nation to prosper for 8 years.

    3. Do we all agree that the two options in regards to Benghazi are:

      1) There’s a coverup.

      2) The administration is so dumb it’s going out of its way to make it look like there is a coverup.

      1. 3) Hillary Clinton has become a falling-down-drunk old lady.

        1. She’ll be a real hoot as President.

          1. Hillary “Andrew Jackson” Clinton.

            1. Hey, Andrew Jackson paid off the national debt and shut down the Fed. Let’s see Hillary do that.

      2. re: #2 – not so sure the administration is dumb so much as its hubris leads to the (often confirmed) belief that it can do anything and get away with it. Anyone pointing out the obvious will be blasted as racist, obstructionist, sour grapes loser, etc. The administration is simply following a strategy that has proven to work.

        1. But in that case what would they be trying to get away with? Being wrong about the video being related?

          1. 1. The CIA holding AQ suspects in Benghazi.

            2. Weapons deals being managed at the site. (Maybe even an exchange of prisoners for missiles).

            3. The “response team too-far-away” bullshit.

            4. Why was Africom Commander relieved that day?

            Something very fishy was going in Benghazi. The Administration decided they would rather see the people there killed than expose what was happening to uncontrolled American forces.

            Nobody has heard a peep out of General Hamm or the American Benghazi survivors.


            1. So that falls under case 1, not case 2.

              1. I think your #2 might be amended to say the administration doesn’t give a shit if there is a coverup or if it just looks like there is.

            2. To be fair, if I’m ever recovering from a serious injury in the hospital, pretty much the last person I want to see there is a congressman looking for a new political prop.

              1. I dunno. If I was in the hospital because some scumbag politician hung me out to dry in fucking Libya, I think a little chat with a Congressman looking to make a federal case of it would be quite welcome.

              2. Gosh, Stormy, any other government propaganda you want to spout today, or have you reached your quota?

                1. Ah yes, because obviously, it’s because that evil Obama is hiding the survivors from Rep. Chaffetz. It couldn’t possibly that they don’t want to meet with him during their recovery, because I mean like who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to meet such a notoriously awesome guy as Rep. Chaffetz.

      3. 3) The Obama administration, like 80% of the country, doesn’t care about Benghazi, even though the remaining 20% have somehow deluded themselves into thinking it’s a major deal?

        1. If they didn’t care about it, why are they avoiding anyone testifying on it?

          1. The administration cares, all right, because it IS a big deal. However, it also knows that its media acolytes are unwilling to make The Obama look bad and the few bloggers and writers who do report on Benghazi can be portrayed as kooks and outliers.

            I predicted prior to the election this story would go away. If Obama won, anyone bringing it up would be painted as a sore loser. If Romney had won, his team would have wanted to start fresh and pursuit of this would have been tepid at best. Either way, four families are told to go to hell.

        2. It is a major deal, and I am very sorry for people who don’t think so.

          1. Yes – they are expending a tremendous amount of energy to make it go away.

        3. Such august bodies like the UN and the BBC are looking into Benghazi, so maybe that will stroke Stormy’s Team Blue Boner.

        4. A US Ambassador was murdered. It’s a big deal.

    4. maybe she choked on a pretzel

  10. Whenever I hear John Bolton’s name, I am reminded of a running gag in Dave Barry’s History of the United States, where he would present some embarrassing scandal or episode in Richard Nixon’s political life and intone “This was widely seen as being the end of Richard Nixon’s Career”. Of course a couple of pages later, there would be Tricky Dick back again!

    John Bolton is one of the biggest fucking idiots in the pundit class, a man who appears so incompetent that he could screw up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Yet people keep asking what he thinks, and not because they want a good laugh.

    1. I can only think he has mounds of dirt on every player in DC.

    2. Remember, pundits get and keep their jobs because they say what the person paying them wants them to say and you are not the one paying.

    3. At least what you’re reminded of when you hear John Bolton’s name is better than what I’m reminded of.

      1. That’s worse than a Rickroll. Fuck you, Ted.

        1. Is that a cry for help?

          I have my browser set up not to play embedded video automatically, so I only get a giant “play” button and can see what the video is supposed to be before clicking on it.

          1. You won’t get me twice.

    4. Bolton’s popularity is a result of one of the big problems with Team Red right now: being an asshole to Democrats is considered more important than actual competence when selecting candidates.

      1. Except for Boehner, who can’t wait to be best friends with them.

        I swear that guy must walk into a car dealership and immediately offer $1000 over list price.

        1. And then start crying. The orange pussy strikes again!

    5. Bolton offered to serve in a hypothetical Ron Paul administration.

      I strongly suspect he would have got the job too. The supply of experienced diplomats who would relish disentangling the US from the UN and other foreign alliances is almost non-existent.

      1. this is why I don’t totally get the “Bolton is a boob” meme. He seems the only guy saying that the UN is useless. Maybe it’s the war boner he has re: Iran but hard to believe that anyone who talks about that genuinely believes it is a good idea.

        1. It’s the war boner.

          1. Yeah. But I did enjoy that Bush sent someone anti-UN to the UN like that.

            1. This is what I’m talking about. What did Bolton actually accomplish at the UN? Is the US any less involved? Is the UN any weaker? All he did was make a convenient strawman for internationalist to point to.

              I’d rather have someone who was more interested in accomplishing the agenda of disentangling us from the UN than someone who was more interested in the posturing of being an asshole in the UN. If Bolton wants to do that, then go be a TV comedian.

        2. I was at Leadership Program of the Rockies when he was a featured speaker…all the small Ls in the room (about 40%) were visibly ill having him there but as I have said before you can;t “fix” the republican party. He spent his whole time speaking of why it is so important to take preemptive action against Iran, nuclear if necessary. He is a fuck stick.

  11. Amnesty and the U.S. Labor Market
    The Employment Picture for Less-Educated Workers

    Of the estimated 11 to 12 million illegal immigrants in the United States, seven to eight million are thought to be holding a job.1 Rather than enforce immigration laws and encourage them to return home, President Obama and some in Congress have promised to push legislation that would provide work authorization and legal status to illegal immigrants. Most research indicates that the overwhelming majority of illegal immigrants have no more than a high school education.2 The president and his political allies seem to believe that the kinds of jobs done by such workers are plentiful. However, the findings of this report show that the employment picture is bleak for less-educated native-born Americans, who are the most likely to compete with illegal immigrants for jobs

    1. Wait, they took our jobs?

  12. Jim Sleeper: Gun Lovers, as ‘Normal’ Now as Segregationists Once Were

    To understand what we’re up against here, understand that many other gun enthusiasts think of themselves this way, too — and that they see their critics as moralists addled by silly delusions about human nature. They alone uphold honor against depravity: Southern segregationists thought their way of life necessary to channel the violence at the bottom of all society toward a safer, more stable order, refined by codes of honor and masterful stewardship of Negroes wise enough to accept their place in it.

    Many white Americans outside the South accepted this reasoning’s death-grip on the Congress, where long-serving Southern senators chaired many committees. They dismissed as regrettable but necessary, and, someday perhaps surmountable, the ranters and ravers at the fringes of White Citizens Councils and among unruly poor whites at the fringes of town or in the hollows beyond, and among egregious and sometimes-embarrassing Klansmen at night and sheriffs at noon.

    1. You know, when you’re derpsplaining to your base in a manner designed to piss off the people you have to convince to come over to your side, you ain’t going to get very far.

      1. Yeah, it’s like when I saw some link to a story yesterday about how they know people won’t just give up their guns, but maybe if they sell it as “giving up your guns for the collective good” they would. And I was like…I think it’s actually the opposite, guys. Phrases like “collective sacrifice” are not going to sell the people you’re trying to sell.

        But I guess I should just be relieved or something.

        1. individualism, how does it work?

          1. individualism, how does it work?

            in liberalville, if individualism was a good thing then govt would give it to you.

            1. in liberalville, if individualism was a good thing then govt would give it to you.

              Nice one!

        2. i’m still laughing about that.

          1. I am too. But I’m also crying…on the inside…or something. I don’t know, I have this marvelous ability to always be staggered by collectivism, even though I’ve seen it over and over again. I guess it’s the same thing that gives me the ability to re-watch or re-read Agatha Christie mysteries over and over again without remembering the reveal, but in this case much less cool.

        3. Shit like that make me want to buy more guns, not give them up.

    2. I can’t believe Balko works for that fucking rag. And allowed them to take over his blog, for cryin out loud.

      1. Well, one of two things is going to happen… he’s going to expose them to a bunch of new ideas… or he will be leaving in a year or so to pursue “other interests”.

        My money is on the later.

        1. Or he starts to come around to their point of view… I really hope your predictions are correct.

          1. Michael Totten left Instapundit, thankfully.

            1. When did Totten stop being a contributor in Instapundit? He was one of Reynolds’ “replacements” when he took his last vacation, which was like November.

      2. He still writes about whatever he wants, the comments are just a little more retarded. I have to admit I don’t read it a frequently I a used to though.

        1. the comments are just a little more retarded

          HuffPo comment threads make any random youtube video thread read like an old Firing Line transcript in comparison.

        2. The comments are unreadable, and that was about 50% of my enjoyment of The Agitator. That’s not even taking into account the dog-awful design and layout and downright non-usability of PuffHo.

        3. I don’t read it as much either. It just takes too much time to read anything on HuffPo. You know, because of the long hot shower you have to take immediately afterwards.

    3. Samuel L Jackson is a racist? Wow.

    4. The same segregationists who did their best to keep guns out of their citizens’ hands? Who is this jackass?

      1. Notice the tribalistic language at play here too–“To understand what we’re up against here.” In other words, gun owners are an enemy to be conquered, not one to be reasoned with.

  13. A bill backed by Netflix that will make it easier to share film-viewing habits was passed by the House.

    What about tv-viewing habits? They’re the new movies.

    1. Way past that. In Soviet America, TV watches you

  14. Give a squeeze, for cancer prevention:


      1. I may have been first, but the story suggests we are both winners.

    1. Sending to The Squeeze as we speak…

    2. But, I don’t have a wife!!!! If I am going to be checked, I want it to be fun!


      /envious of all you married and attached folks.

      1. (pouts!)

        /envious of all you married and attached folks.

        Don’t be. You are free to do whatever you want with whomever you want without someone trying to break into your phone to read text messages that have no relevancy to anything.

        1. ^^^^^^^^^ZOMG THIS!!!!!!!

          1. PSA: If your SO is looking at your texts, you are Doing It Wrong

            1. At least she’s still into him enough to be jealous.

            2. Yeah. That’s a firing offense for me.

              1. I just finished reading This Is How You Lose Her this morning, which is basically completely about cheating and other ways to destroy relationships, and there’s so much snooping. The last story is about a several-year relationship where the parties are engaged and the woman goes through all of the man’s email and finds he’s been cheating on her with like 50 different women (over a period of years). Of course, he was an ass, but fucking a, these people are in their 30s and still reading each other’s email? I’m not going to say I have never violated a boyfriend’s privacy, but I can truthfully say I haven’t done it since I was a teenager.

                1. I’m with you. If I think she’s lying to me, I’ll ask her. If I don’t like her answers, I’ll leave. But I will never, never, never snoop. Its a sure way to be miserable. Because the part no one admits is that even if snoopers don’t find anything, they still don’t trust you. Its relationship poison.

                  1. Exactly. Because if they trusted you, they wouldn’t be snooping!

            3. yeah…yikes. Snooping and jealousy are just stupid…grow some balls (or ovaries as the case may be) and accuse-await response OR get the fuck over it. This isnt rocket science.

        2. Jeepers creepers, dude! But then again, you picked her.

      2. I haven’t been able to play with mine, er, my wife’s for awhile now. Damn breastfeeding 🙁

        1. yeah, that does suck. They were the forbidden zone for a too long.

          1. One of nature’s cruel tricks.

            1. so true…so true.

      3. Wait until you have to come home to that wife.

        1. I look forward to it. I want to fall in love with my wife every day, even during the inevitable arguments and days of couch duty. Colour me a hopeless romantic.

          1. I look forward to it. I want to fall in love with my wife every day, even during the inevitable arguments and days of couch duty. Colour me a hopeless romantic.

            I imagine an American doctor living in the Ukraine has some serious street cred with the female population of his town. 🙂

          2. Hahahahahaha, oh Doc. Hahahahahaa.

            1. I laughed at that, too. I think he’s just trying to impress IFH with his 1700’s romanticism.


            2. I mean it with every fibre of my being. I don’t even watch pr0n, so on with you!

              Besides, Saccharin Man has been married for 20 years, by his own admission. I imagine he’s doing something right and perfectly true blue. And I will bet my left testicle he’s a kick-ass husband, and the right one that Mrs. SugarFree is a looker.

              1. Meh. I’m an OK husband, at best. She’s much, much hotter than I am and makes far more money than I do.

                Mostly I’m just trying to hang on until her looks go in order to fuck over her second husband.

                1. She’s much, much hotter than I am and makes far more money than I do.

                  I bet she has a PhD, too. Wait, MNG is a woman????


                2. you sir (@ SF) never cease to impress.

              2. I don’t doubt it Doc. Like Randian said below marriage has its own set of bullshit, like living with a woman and all of their double standards (especially when they are on the rag…) But overall it’s pretty great. I will say, should you take the plunge, separate bathrooms are absolutely necessary to maintaining your sanity.

          3. Good fer you GM. I’m sure you’ll be a good “catch” for someone.

      4. Just as a counterpoint, marriage has its own set of bullshit, but I like it overall.

    3. “Go ahead, squeeze the wheeze. Many people like to.”

  15. Starter home distillery

    Then I stumbled upon a device called an Easystill. Basically, it is a water distillation unit that can also be used to distill alcohol as well. The idea of spirit distillation is simple. Alcohol boils at a temperature less than water, so if you get temperature above 78 ?C but below 100 ?C, the alcohol becomes vapor, leaving the water behind. A still captures the vapor, cools it enough to turn it back to liquid, allowing you to capture it.

    The EasyStill does all that in a 110-volt tabletop device that you can store in the closet or garage when you are finished. The still handles about a gallon of mash at a time, so if you make a small 5 gallon batch of fermented mash, you are running the thing at least 5 times to produce a liter of alcohol. The process is slow to start but does work. I’ve made drinkable moonshine. It’s not for any serious distilling, but for cooking up a batch on occasion.

    1. I’m pretty sure that in the US you cannot legally own any distilling device without a federal license that gives the feds the power to search your premises at any time.

      1. Because “Fuck you, that’s why”

      2. I’m already committing 3-5 felonies a day as it is. Might as well try my hand at some whiskey or liquers.

        1. I’ve thought about it and even looked into it a little. The problem is acquiring the metal without raising suspicion. Someone is guaranteed to ask you what you are planning to build, so you better be prepared with a good lie.

          1. What? copper tubing and a 2 gallon pot. Buy them separately. Or ebay can be your friend.

            1. Sure, hand delivered by the BATF.

            2. Both of those are legitimate purchases for homebrewing.

              I bought copper tubing at Lowes for making a chiller.

              A 2 gallon pot is small for brewing, that easily passes the cooking test.

              1. I was thinking of making a cap for my 9gal brewpot and sending it to a thumper and then the worm.

            3. If they come asking just pull out a wort chiller and show it to them.

              1. I don’t know if they would ship to the US, but home distillation is legal in NZ, and there are several still makers.

          2. Buy a bunch of copper tubing and fittings and say you are making a wort cooler.

            1. Well, yeah. The worm would be easy. It’s the rest of it I’m talking about.

              1. Is making ice wine legal?

                1. Is making ice wine legal?

                  I believe so, but it isn’t wise.

                  Methanol is a natural byproduct of fermentation. When distilling, one is supposed to discard the head (first runnings) because that’s the methanol which boils/evaporates at a slightly lower temperature than ethanol.

                  When you take a fermented product and freeze it to remove the water and increase the alcohol you leave all the methanol in there.

                  It’s a great recipe for a nasty headache.

                  1. Its how ice beer is made.

                    There are also some questionable legality about it. No homebrewer/home winemaker would ever get caught, but it might not technically be legal.

                    1. I am thinking that, given that making wine is legal, all you need is a bucket and freezer to get to applejack. At least, as far as my cursory investigation tells me.

                    2. all you need is a bucket and freezer to get to applejack.

                      You’ll get a headache as well. Go ahead.

                      One of the purposes of distillation is it gives you an opportunity to discard the methyl alcohol and fusel oils. When they say double and triple distilled, they mean they’ve gone through the process a few times while discarding the head and tail, resulting in near pure ethanol.

                      Or you can remove frozen water crystals, concentrating the methyl alcohol and fusel oils, and have a crappy morning.

                    3. There isn’t that much methanol or ethanol in wine to begin with.

                    4. There isn’t that much methanol or ethanol in wine to begin with.

                      Are you proud of your ignorance?

                    5. Are you proud of your ignorance?

                      Want me to bring up the chromatography sheets or are you just going to be a fucking retard about that too?

                    6. Wine averages 15% ethanol, retard. Yes, retard, there isn’t a lot of methanol in it, retard, but that doesn’t negate the point that freeze stilling concentrates the methanol and fusel oils. Retard.

                      Like I said, retard, try it. See what happens, retard. I bet your retarded head will hurt like hell.

                    7. Yes, it still concentrates it. But concentrating very little of something into more very little of something still leaves very little of something.

                      Does that help any?

                    8. Does that help any?

                      Sure Tulpa, whatever you say.

                    9. 2-3 ppm of methanol from fermentation.

                      If you take out 1/2 the water, that basically gets you to 4-6 ppm.

                      High pectin fruits will have more methanol, and looks like red wines produce more than whites, due to the skins.

                    10. Does botrytis bring anything to the party, re, increasing the amount of either methanol or fusil oils?

                      Some of the worst headaches from booze I’ve ever had have been when I’ve overindulged with Sauternes or other late-harvest dessert wines.

                    11. The fusels are a much bigger issue. But, at least with beer, controlling your fermentation temp greatly reduces fusel production, so if the initial fermentation keeps fusels low, the ice distillation process wont have much to multiply.

                    12. I made some applejack semi intentionally a few years ago (left an old jug of cider that had gone hard outside for a while. I thought it was pretty good. I let it sit for a while uncovered. Perhaps that got rid of some of the methanol. In any case, I didn’t really have more than a few ounces, so I wasn’t getting drunk on it or anything.

                    13. “Jacking” refers to the ice distillation method. But you are still left with menthanol and the nastiness it provides.

          3. The problem is acquiring the metal without raising suspicion.

            There are plenty of stills behind prison walls. Granted, they aren’t making top shelf bourbon, but there is always a way to acquire materials, and assemble a still. Accumulate your parts over time, from a variety of sources, and pay in cash.

      3. Assault boilers. No sporting use.

      4. an addendum in the link:

        Making beer and wine at home in the US is perfectly legal. Owning a still (for water or making fuel) is legal. But making distilled spirits at home is currently illegal in all countries of the world except New Zealand.

        1. I AM making fuel! My body runs on a constant intake of liquid courage, which just happens to taste a lot like moonshine.

        2. Like lots of things, owning a still in the US is legal with a license.

      5. That’s false. You can absolutely own a water distillation system. You cannot fortify alcohol without denaturing it immediately.

        1. It is my understanding that you can own any distillation system that you want, provided you have a license. This way the feds have the power to inspect it whenever they want because you are at all times considered guilty until you prove your innocence my submitting to a search.

          1. True, but you don’t even have to have a license as long as you are doing water, denatured alcohol, or essential oils. Fortifying potable alcohol is the only thing you need a license for.

            1. I dunno. A while back I looked into getting a still designed for legal stuff for the purpose of doing illegal stuff, and I recall there being a requirement to fill out some paperwork and send it to the feds. The paperwork was a license to own the device for legal purposes while giving the feds the power to knock on my door at any time day or night to inspect the device and prove I’m not doing anything illegal.

              1. My experience is that you can purchase these things without a visit from the Feds. My friends’ experience is that after 5-20 years of making the stuff, the only people who’ve had visits about it are the ones who try to sell it. If you aren’t avoiding taxes on it, or making people blind, they don’t have time for you.

              2. Looks like you can just buy them. Here for example: http://www.brewhaus.com/Moonsh…..C150.aspx.

                Maybe you still need a license, but the sellers don’t seem to need you to have one.

            2. Even for denatured alcohol you need a license, IIRC. That way they can inspect your records to make sure you are denaturing.

              Its also the easiest way to run a still, just detour some of the product before denaturing. But you need to make the records line up.

          2. There seems to be plenty of distillation equipment available, and none of the sellers seem to require a license to sell them to you. One site I found even says that owning the still is legal, but using it to distill ethanol is not. So I suspect that there is a bit of a gray area. But it seems like you don’t get in trouble unless actually caught distilling alcohol.

            1. Being the paranoid/cautious person that I am, there’s no fucking way I’d purchase anything like that without using cash.

              1. Yeah, that’s probably wise. Like if you buy grow lights (even for licit purposes).

                I wouldn’t think it would be too hard to make one out of copper, though.

                1. I wouldn’t think it would be too hard to make one out of copper, though.

                  As I said above, the hardest part is acquiring the sheet metal without raising suspicion.

                  1. Look up “alcohol is a fuel” at Amazon. Nice little ebook. And no one is looking as long as your plan is in the 2-5 gallon range. If you’re super paranoid, buy rings one place, sheet metal at another and copper at a 3rd.

            2. it reminds me of the day – the 80s – when buying a switchblade assembled was illegal, but yet you could buy a kit to make your own switchblade. Wait, wut?

        2. Additionally, if I owned such a system, I might have hypothetically used it to make a backstrap molasses rum last weekend. Half of which might have been used as a cheap white rum that I would hypothetically water down and redistill next weekend. The other half, again, completely imaginary, got put in jars with the oak chips I used to age a batch of hypothetical whiskey and will hypothetically be aged dark rum in 6 months to a year.

          1. I, for one, would like to – hypothetically speaking – sample some of this imaginary product.

            1. If you ever get down to north FL or southern GA, I’d hypothetically be happy to share.

              1. They have moonshiners in Killearn?

                1. I don’t know any. The ones I know (me excepted) live in places outside of town like Quincy, Havana, Coon Bottom, and such. No reason they couldn’t.

                  1. HYPOTHETICALLY

      6. You did notice that it’s a water distiller….So it’s illegal to own something to boil water and then collect the vapor into another container?

        1. So it’s illegal to own something to boil water and then collect the vapor into another container?

          It’s perfectly legal, provided you have a federal license.

          They want to know where every still is so they can inspect them without notice.

    2. that you can store in the closet or garage when you are finished

      So, just like….well, anything.

  16. Squeezing breasts could hinder cancer growth

    I’m sure some here would love to assist.

    1. I guess that explains why you don’t hear about very many porn stars that develop breast cancer.

  17. French psychiatrist sentenced after patient commits murder

    Another item for our forthcoming national conversation.

    1. “If a psychiatrist lives in fear of being sentenced, it will have very real consequences and probably lead to harsher treatment of patients,” said Canarelli’s lawyer, Sylvain Pontier.

      The court said Canarelli should have requested Gaillard be placed in a specialized medical unit or referred him to another medical team, as one of her colleagues suggested. Her stubborn refusal had equated to a form of “blindness”, the court president Fabrice Castoldi said.

      Gaillard had already been forcibly committed to a secure hospital on several occasions for a series of increasingly dangerous incidents.

      The victim’s son, Michel Trabuc, said he hoped the case would set a legal precedent.

      “There’s no such thing as zero risk, but I hope this will move psychiatry forward and, above all, that it will never happen again,” he said.

      Oh no, no problems here..

      1. Yeah, no way that could discourage people who need help from seeing a psychiatrist.

        1. No, Zeb, no one will be discouraged from seeing a psychiatrist by the fear that said psychiatrist might attempt to imprison them. They will be helped! How can you not see we’re just trying to help?

      2. Her stubborn refusal had equated to a form of “blindness”

        ADA, BITCHES!

    2. I hope he goes to the same prison as those Eye-talian geologists.

    3. If I were a practicing psych in France, I’d pull a Depardieu right about now.

  18. Where are the fathers?

    What I am suggesting, however, is that no amount of legislation is going to change what has gone wrong in the U.S. What is needed is a rebuilding of the cracked pillars on which a liberal society rests. But these pillars ? personal responsibility and the celebration of the difference between men and women ? have been on the chopping block for decades. This has been a boon to deadbeat dads. And unless it is rectified, the spate of senseless killings is bound to continue.

  19. Cops get a bunch of new toys.

    1. Criminals willingly handing over their guns eh?

  20. Video of eagle grabbing toddler. Real or fake?

    1. When are people going to do something about this eagle problem we are having?

      1. “The luxurious seats are stuffed with eagle down and the dashboard inlaid with the beaks of a thousand eagles. Also, there are some eagles under the floorboards.”

        1. Is there a luxury edition with much more eagle I could look at? I don’t want to miss out.

            1. Cowhide. They made gratuitously added the word “Corinthian” to make it sound mysteriously luxurious.

            2. Vinyl.

  21. Trooper caught on camera conducting illegal cavity searches. Nothing else happens.

    1. Why are cavities illegal, anyway?

    2. Nope. No double standard. It’s not rape when a cop does it.

  22. Ponnuru: Why Almost Everyone Is Wrong About Tax Reform

    The more closely you look at the tax code, the less promising the idea of broadening the base becomes. That may be why Mitt Romney’s campaign proposed imposing a cap on the total value of all deductions anyone can take (and why so many congressmen are now talking about the idea). It is more or less an admission that paring back the number and size of specific tax breaks is more political trouble than it is worth in revenue.

    The Bowles-Simpson model of tax reform — broadening the base and lowering rates — is the wrong one. Some tax breaks should be scaled back, to be sure. But the idea that the federal government can painlessly raise a lot of money from a base- broadening tax reform is a myth.

    1. the idea that the federal government can painlessly raise a lot of any more money from a base- broadening tax reform is a myth.

  23. Amanda Seyfried reveals how she created lifelike ‘slurping noises’ for Linda Lovelace biopic… with the help of a popsicle

    Lucky popsicle.

    1. She told him: ‘I have to go on record saying I’ve never done a live television show – after noon – without some kind of liquid courage. ‘I’m pretty drunk. To be honest with you Dave, I’ve had about three. I’m a big fan of whiskey.’


      1. I remember that

  24. I wonder if I can get Chrome to play nice with reason today…I’m lost without reasonable.

    1. I knew you othered me!

      /I keed. I keed.

    2. I think your problem is using Google’s (motto: Let’s be evil!) browser.

  25. Guy with barely working penis and an attraction to lesbians gives out dating advice.

    “I’m a 7. He’s a 4. How could he cheat on me?” Over the phone, Betsy sounded as confused as she was angry. Her boyfriend of two years had just confessed to an ongoing affair, and was now begging for forgiveness. In addition to being unsure whether the relationship was worth trying to salvage, my friend was mystified. For Betsy to call herself an “7” on the attractiveness scale would come across to most as grotesque false modesty. A gorgeous 36 year-old advertising executive, she’d been cheated on by Will, 38, whose resemblance to Paul Giamatti (at his schlumpiest) was striking.

    “I assumed he’d never cheat on me,” she said. Leery of inordinately handsome men (the sort that most would say were her aesthetic equal), Betsy had been relieved to find herself drawn to the funny, talented, but in the eyes of most, decidedly unsexy Will. “My calculus did involve his not being super-attractive,” she admitted; “at least partly because of how he looked, I took his fidelity for granted.” With the sexes reversed, dating Will was her way of following Jimmy Soul’s famous advice to the effect that “if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.”

    Maybe he cheated on you because of your insecurities, Betsy.

    1. This is why I will never marry an American woman.

      1. Where do you get this shit?

        1. You really need to see UKR wimminz. Though admittedly, they are refreshingly honest and quite blunt…

          And you can go stuff it, Frog Worshiper! -P

          1. Blunt and honest sounds like code for “will bring a borscht pan down on top of your head in the middle of dinner”

            1. No “code”. Is everything a dog-whistle with you? -D

              I simply mean, if they like you, they say so upfront. If they don’t, you know it. If they think you are cute, they say so. If you are ugly, expect to hear that, too. No games or other such nonsense, and a thick skin is recommended. But the payoff is Slavic women are notably loyal, unlike women in the USA. There’s a reason why all the good ones are already taken, TAO.

              Just don’t piss off a UKR wimminz. I have seen one fight b’twixt two gals already, and they hit with closed fists.

              1. Sounds ideal to me. I hate fucking games with women (well, that kind of games).

                1. “Fucking” in the intensifying sense above, of course.

      2. I married a furriner AND she tukurjerbs all your “programmers”. Anyway, GM, I couldn’t agree more. Most (not all, but every one i dated) American women are absolutely crazy. Not saying the woman I married isn’t woman like (they all cra cra) but to a much lesser extent and is very upfront about how dumb I ma so it makes it easy for me. “I need you to buy this particular thing for me for x-mas. Take a picture with your phone right now so you get the right kind.” Hell, it is like heaven.

        and yes, I miss a lot of signals, so she quit trying to send them and now sends e-mails.

    2. I hate him for quoting Jimmy Soul more than for anything else now, all thanks to you SF.

    3. “I thought I could treat him like dirt because I don’t find him attractive. How could he do this to me?”

      1. That’s what I got from the story.

      2. yup…even the ugly dog expects to be scratched now and again.

      3. That sounds exactly like what she was saying. She hasn’t figured out that even ugly dudes can get tail if they have that je ne sais quoi? THe Squeeze looks like George The Animal Steele, but I’m pretty certain he’s had more than most men’s share of ass in his life.

        1. You’re dating a guy who looks like The Animal? I mean, like back fur and all?

          I have to meet you, Kristen. You sound like a scream.

          1. He has a little back hair, but not a forest. It’s more the bald head and Quasimodo face that resembles The Animal.*

            *this is said with all affection – I think he’s sexy as hell.

            1. Does he have a stuffed toy he calls “Mine”?

              1. Turnbuckles must not be safe in the Kaptious Household either.

    4. Maybe he cheated on you because you falsely claim to be a “7”. The Hardy-Weinberg scale of rating women is subjective, people. Some people’s 7’s could be another man’s 3; not even fuckable!

    5. “My calculus did involve his not being super-attractive,”

      Good lord do women suck at math.

      1. “Penises are HARD!”

    6. if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife

      I think the real key would be to find a wife who thinks you are more attractive than she is (and hopefully is actually more attractive than you without realizing it).

      1. I think the real key would be to find a wife who thinks you are more attractive than she is (and hopefully is actually more attractive than you without realizing it).

        You mean a happy marriage is like a mutually beneficial transaction where each party thinks they are getting the better end of the deal? I suppose next you’ll be telling me this is how the free market works to maximize happiness. How can you know what will make you happy without the government telling you so?

        1. You mean a happy marriage is like a mutually beneficial transaction where each party thinks they are getting the better end of the deal?

          I haven’t been married, but I’m extending the principle from my successful relationships. My current girlfriend is way hotter than I am, but for some bizarre reason finds me irresistible.

          How can you know what will make you happy without the government telling you so?

          Mostly I kept trying stuff till I found something that made me feel happy, then I kept doing her.

    7. “My calculus did involve his not being super-attractive,” she admitted; “at least partly because of how he looked, I took his fidelity for granted.”

      So I saw no need to fulfill his sexual needs. And then he cheated, why????

      Stupid bitch got what she deserved.

    8. He may have cheated because, you know, you implicitly thought he was unattractive and he was looking for someone who would make him feel attractive.

      I have a very hard time believing that someone who leads with a “uggo boyfriend has no business cheating on me!” didn’t let that attitude permeate the relationship.

      1. There are some women who feel the best way to diss a woman rival is to seduce her husband.

        1. That too. And then women reinforce it by being more mad at the other woman.

      2. Yeah, someone thinks I’M a 4, I’m stepping out for sure.

    9. I am not a very attractive man. The only times in my life when women have actively pursued me have been when I was in a relationship. I am fairly certain that being a man in a serious relationship ups your “attractiveness” by like 2. Other women see you are in a relationship and they think “well, there has to be something about him she likes. I would like to find out what.”

      I am probably wrong.

    10. Interesting Jezebel article.

      I don’t think there is a simple answer as to why that guy cheated. But the story does prove that there is at least one wrong way to “ensure” your guy doesn’t cheat.

      Personally, I think most people cheat because they’re shallow, selfish weasels. You have to rise above your weasel-ish tendencies to stay committed to someone. It’s hard to do.

  26. Dude seesm to be talking a whole lotta smack lol


  27. It seems the girlfriend of MMA fighter Ray Elbe got a little overexcited during sex and, how shall I put this, “misjudged her landing.”

    1. Yeah, that’s nothing to laugh at. When you hear a “POP!” it’s time to stop.

    2. Elbe says he expects to make a full recovery — and was ordered to take “anti-erection pills” for two weeks.

      They make Lindy West pills?

    3. IIRC, Dr. Drew once something like this addressed on Love Line. The caller, a kid, had ostensibly slipped out and rammed into the bedpost.

      1. Niiice cut and paste, Yoda.

      2. I remember this all too well. Unless there were two of them, the one I heard was they are having sex and she came down on it. When he called in, only the lower half of his penis would become erect. Dr. Drew told him to seek immediate medical attention, and the kid replied that it happened six months ago. Dr. Drew told him there probably wasn’t much a doctor could do for him at that point.

        1. See below, Saccharin Man.

    4. Elbe told the whole story — in painfully graphic detail — on an MMA website … explaining how he was having sex with his GF, who was “on top” … when she bounced a little too high, and crunched Ray’s erect penis.

      According to Ray, his penis “fractured” … and “blood was everywhere.” Ray says he immediately passed out from the pain.

      Feel his pain (and now mine) through the power of synesthesia!

      1. I don’t even have one of those things, and I’m slightly dizzy reading that.

        1. Then I will spare you the details of how, in the ER, priapism, via The Little Blue pill, is not relieved when an erections lasts for more than four hours. -D

          Let’s just say, it’s not pretty…

            1. Yep. Think 10 gauge needle, an incision, and a Penrose drain.

              Other methods involve a large syringe, depending on the size of the member and how veiny it is.

              1. The amount I am ooged out by that description is entirely dependent on how much and what kind of anesthesia is given.

                1. None really, unfortunately. When you have Sildenafil or Ta-DA!-lafil in your system, I can only give a local, like lidocaine (WITHOUT EPINEPHRINE, or the penis blood flow will totally constrict and your pecker rots off), because an opiate with contribute to further decrease in BP. And the local is not super effective, as the patient can still feel the pressure and sensation of what I am doing.

                  Fun Medical Fact: The Little Blue Pill’s discovery was the accidental side effect of research for anti-hypertensive drugs. It’s initial indication was for TX of high blood pressure.

                  1. Yeah, now I’m ready to pass out.

                    1. Compared to what I normally do in my job, this is child’s play. -D

                      But I have no doubt you can out-program circles around me and design all sorts of tech that would take me days to figure out.

                      DIVISION OF LABOUR!

                    2. Don’t let a software or hardware developer hear you call what I do “programming”! I do front-end web development. That’s the “Basket-Weaving Major” of the web development world.

                    3. Soooo, we had a boobie thread earlier, what happened to that?

    5. “Yes, Ray, you can FX your penis!”

      During an erection, the penis is engorged with blood. If the penis is bent suddenly or forcefully while it’s engorged, the trauma may rupture the lining of one of the two cylinders in the penis (corpus cavernosum) responsible for erections ? resulting in a penis fracture. The trauma is usually related to aggressive or acrobatic sexual intercourse or, in some cases, aggressive masturbation.

      A penis fracture is a painful injury that’s often accompanied by an audible cracking sound, followed immediately by dark bruising of the penis due to blood escaping the cylinder. In some cases the tube that drains urine from the body (urethra) may be damaged as well, and blood may be visible at the urinary opening of the penis.

      A penis fracture requires urgent medical attention. A penis fracture can usually be diagnosed with a physical exam, and prompt surgical repair is typically recommended. Left untreated, a penis fracture may result in deformity of the penis or the inability to have or maintain an erection (erectile dysfunction).

      1. “Tell them it looks like a battered highway cone!”

      2. I nearly passed out reading this…

        1. Wimp.

      3. escaping the cylinder

        the engine of industry needs repair.

  28. I grew up in the South with guns everywhere and we never shot anyone. This [shooting] is about people who aren’t taught the value of life.”

    I am impressed with Mr. Jackson.

    1. “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. lessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper”

    2. Sam is leaving the plantation on this one.

      That’s not racist, is it?

  29. Sorry to break this to you guys, but I think we are going to see some form of gun control pass. All they have to do is name it the “Sandy Hook Prevention of Child Murder Act”, and they can paint anyone who opposes it as a heartless monster. Of course, the Repubs can write their own bill, but we all know how likely that will be.

    1. “SHPCMA”?

      Nah, it’ll be “Charlotte, Daniel, Rachel, Olivia, …’s Law”.

    2. I will bet against it. The House and Senate are half-full of Republicans who think they are going to be President. A Republican who votes for gun control is dead as a Presidential candidate.

      1. Romney was a gun control supporter.

        1. In one iteration of the ROMNIAC program.

        2. In a vague, deniable Massachusetts way – and it still hurt him.

          A straight up and down vote in the U.S. Congress is far worse.

    3. “Sandy Hook Imitation Thwarting” Act.

      1. 🙂

        Yesterday I mentioned that I have an instinctive opposition to proposed legislation of the “[insert name of photogenic victim here]’s Law” type. I also instictively oppose legislation where the naming is a feel-good acronym.

    4. I’m curious at to what the NRA is going to say on Friday

      1. I do not have a good feeling about it at all.

        1. same. they’ve gone dark. a colleague represents an ammo manufacturer and he’s not getting his calls returned from NRA HQ

          1. The NRA isn’t going to compromise and sell out in a news conference.The danger is they do it during the legislative process behind closed doors.

          2. They have some kind of statement about how they’re going to make a statement on Friday, and it says (PDF) that “The NRA is prepared to offer meaningful contributions to help make sure this never
            happens again.”

            1. saw that. just they have to realize that the gun control side is not interested in working with them.

              1. NoVA, you will find this quite interesting.

                1. Thanks — I completely forgot that was in there.

            2. The left is going to howl over those “meaningful contributions”. The NRA represents its members.They are not the Republican Party nor are they a trade group for the firearms industry.The NRA is a civil rights organization. They will not propose ANY rollback in gun rights in a news conference/public statement.

      2. why does the NRA have to say anything? No one expects the beer and liquor industries to say anything when people get drunk and cause car wrecks. No one is holding Big Drunk responsible for the Cowboys’ player who crashed a car and killed a teammate.

        1. Because soccer moms are retards.

          1. Including the hot, MILFY ones?

            1. Based on my experience in suburbia, yes indeed.

              I expect a different kind of moron when we move back into the city.

        2. As pointed out yesterday, no one is holding Big Gay responsible for Penn St. Rightly so.

          1. They are holding a dead man responsible.

      3. The NRA is about to put the spotlight on the fact that they hate the idea of average citizens having guns. This is why I did a little digging and found the National Association for Gun Rights.

        1. JPFO is my choice.

        2. GOA is good too.

          see my above hatred of the NRA

          1. below…FUCK THREADED COMMENTS!

            1. I’d prefer SAF. GOA had some shit about that jackhole sheriff in Phoenix being a “protector of the Constitution”. I read that and knew they should not be taken seriously.

      4. The NRA actually authored the Brady Bill. I will never give them a dime. You want a gun rights lobby go with GOA.

        1. Or just learn to make your own bullets.

    5. if any legislation is passed, it – of course – won’t actually tackle the “problem”, but will instead by a feel good measure.

      1. Prohibition: This Time It Will Work! I Swear!

    6. They’re putting Biden in charge of it.

      If it were a winner, Obama would take the lead himself. Perhaps this is also clearing Hillary’s path as thanks for the timely concussion?

    7. Any GC actions by this Administration will be done via Executive Order, implementing existing legislation. Who’s going to say “No”? The GOP, who stood by while W expanded the powers of the office?

  30. By the by, this Google Images this is bullllllshit.

    1. s/b “Google Images ‘thing'”

  31. Prison guards use these to stop riots. Should be enough to put down psychotic pipsqueaks like the Lanzas of the world, while the cops take their sweet time, and liberals cower.


  32. Georgia supervisor, coworkers and four others cashed 1,300 U.S. Treasury checks before authorities caught them. More than 171 Postal workers arrested in 2012

    The former supervisor at an Atlanta mail distribution facility, a coworker and four others pled guilty this month to stealing $3 million in U.S. Treasury checks, including veterans benefits, tax refunds and Social Security checks. By the time authorities figured out the scheme, the small theft ring had stolen or cashed 1,300 federal checks, officials said.


    1. And they would’ve gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for those meddling kids.

  33. Would you support my Patriotic Eugenics Plan?
    1. We need to keep abortion legal and make it free to all who want it. Those who get pregnant, and then decide they don’t want to have children, are not the genetic stock we want in our nation.
    2. Free birth control to all who want it. The fact is that we have a large population of undesirable stock who either can’t afford birth control, or are too stupid to buy it. Either way they reproduce, and we pay for it. This needs to stop.
    3. End the welfare system for parents. If they can’t take care of their children, they will be taken away and raised either by competent parents or the state. It would save money and discourage reproduction among these people.
    4. Pay women 2,500$ each to get sterilized, 250$ a year to go on long term birth control. Men get 500$ to get sterilized. Sterilization reversals will not be covered. Prisoners who get or have gotten sterilized will receive special treatment in prison.
    5. Give tax breaks to middle and upper class Americans to reproduce more and improve the gene pool.

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