Turkeys Gobbler, Cobbler Only Recipients of Presidential Pardons This Year

The power to pardon is not just a novelty

White House

President Obama pardoned two turkeys yesterday, as per White House tradition. The turkeys were apparently chosen on the White House Facebook page, with the president making a joke about Nate Silver "nailing it," one of several references to his recent re-election according to the AP write-up of the event. Exit polls on election day saw Obama losing on issues like the economy but winning huge leads on "empathy" and "caring," which makes it a pity that the president's chosen to wield his constitutional power to pardon this year exclusively on the turkeys. The U.S. prison population remains the largest in the world, irrespective of who looks like they care. Happy Thanksgiving!

Comments

[PS]

Why doesn't he ever pardon a black turkey?

[protefeed]

Because it's politically inexpedient to end the WoBP (War on Drugs Beige People.)

Oh, you meant an actual turkey.

[Caleb Turberville]

Let me guess: Pardoning turkeys wasn't exactly what he had in mind when Obama first thought about becoming president?

[Groovus Maximus]

Wait until the end of his term.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Is pardoning turkey's even in the constitution?

[Caleb Turberville]

Blablahblahcommerceclauseyaddayaddayadda.

[Caleb Turberville]

Blah blah blah (commerce clause), yadda yadda yadda.

[RFID]

- If the turkeys were not pardoned, they would be butchered and sold for meat
- This would change the supply of turkey inside the state they were butchered in
- This would cause the state to import less turkey from other states
- This affects the price of turkey meat nationwide
- The federal government has the right to regulate interstate commerce
- The president can pardon turkeys

It all comes back to Wickard in the end.

[Vapourwear]

Everything comes back to that verdammmt miscarriage of justice.

[Xenocles]

I don't know who buys the birds, but in theory he could simply be participating in an overceremonious disposal of chattels. Not everything the President does has to be in the Constitution, just his exercises of power. There's no power to pardon an animal because the concept has no legal meaning.

What we should really be upset about is the mockery of the pardon power.

[Lewisite]

For all the good it did them anyway

"Wrong,...last seasons LOSERS" -the running man.

[AuH2O]

"Caring" isn't about results, its about feelings. I just find it sad and truly terrifying how many voters vote purely based on emotion.

This is why I think there needs to be a test to vote. Nothing major, just honest questions about the candidate's positions/actions. If you don't know what your guy feels about taxes or what have you, you shouldn't be allowed to vote.

[Caleb Turberville]

We already accept age limitations for those who vote. What's wrong with other kinds of limitations then?

[AuH2O]

The unfortunate history of literacy tests used to deny blacks the vote in the South is the true impediment, as are all those who screech about voting being the most important right.

[C. Anacreon]

I'm sure Sevo saw this. Yesterday's SF Chronicle had op/ed pieces by several first-time voter gals from Scripps College. Two said they voted for Obama because he would keep the Rs from banning abortion and birth control. A poorly written third voted for Obama because he would make it easy to repay her college loans so she could continue to be a creative writing major (and she would be using these talents to help the poor). The fourth said she voted for Romney because she appreciated small government and personal responsibility; however, she wished she could find a political viewpoint that both embraced these qualities plus the Dems support for gay marriage, choice and other freedoms. Oh well.

[protefeed]

Nothing major, just honest questions about the candidate's positions/actions. If you don't know what your guy feels about taxes or what have you, you shouldn't be allowed to vote.

It's an election to see who runs a large criminal gang. "Honest questions" would not be on the menu. Sample question for voters in Chicago in 2016:

Which most accurately describes the current national economic situation:

1) Soon-to-be-President-Elect Biden will inherit the mess Bush caused, and which President Obama (PBUH) has done a magnificent job of starting to turn around. The 15% unemployment rate is totally the fault of the Republicans.

2 - 9) (Insert a long list of answers, marking any of which will disqualify a potential voter)

[C. Anacreon]

The Dems insisted that voter ID laws would suppress millions of voters who through no fault of their own couldn't possibly get an ID. Now that the election is over, I am waiting for them to start outreach programs to help these millions of unfortunates get ID so they can do just about everything else in life they are deprived of. Coming soon, right?

[General Butt Naked]

Why shouldn't people base their votes on emotion?

I voted for Gary Johnson 'cause I like his haircut and he seems cool.
No biggie.

[Kaptious Kristen]

I, like, totally voted for him because he climbed Mt Everest and skied Tuckerman!

[Auric Demonocles]

I'm not sure if I'm more disgusted by people voting for Obama because he is "caring" or because he's "black".

[Groovus Maximus]

Does The Zero actually speak Jive?

[CE]

Only when visiting historically African-American inner city neighborhoods.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Kid Rock!?!?

[The Late P Brooks]

"If those people aren't guilty, why are they all in jail?"

[Palin's Buttplug]

He is doing the Catholic hand-jive left-handed and backward!

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Americans prefer to pump Canadian
oh it's talking about oil.

[juris imprudent]

So it said he pardoned two turkeys - where is the second one in the photo?

[anarch]

In white feathers.

[waaminn]

lol, I had no idea that turkeys were so cool!

http://www.Max-Privacy.tk

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Turkeys are not cool, anonobot. Get sentient, or get gone.

[Flatulent Monkey]

Is Ken Salazar (?) mounting the to be pardoned turkey a part of the ceremony?