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A.M. Links: Benghazi Denials, Des Moines Register Endorses Mitt Romney, Hurricane Sandy Hitting East Coast

News from Benghazi to the Bundesbank

Ed Krayewski | 10.29.2012 9:00 AM

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  • The White House denied denying assistance to U.S. personnel in Benghazi, while the Secretary of Defense explained there wasn't a clear enough picture of what was happening to justify risking U.S. forces going in.

  • The Des Moines Register endorsed Mitt Romney, the first time the Iowa paper's endorsed a Republican since Richard Nixon.
  • The National Geographic Channel defends its TV movie about the Navy SEALs raid on Osama bin Laden's compound, out November 4, and denied it was re-cut to make President Obama look better. No TV movie in the works on Benghazi yet.
  • The Muslim holiday of Eid Al-Adha was marred by suicide bombings across Baghdad, the breakdown of the U.N-backed truce in Syria and an attack on a Catholic Church in Nigeria.
  • A Greek newspaper publisher who printed a list of wealthy Greeks that held Swiss bank accounts is facing prison time for violating data privacy laws.
  • German auditors want a physical check of gold the Bundesbank has stored abroad, including at the Federal Reserve in the U.S.
  • There's a storm coming to the East Coast, and it's already been blamed for a fall in early trading on the FTSE 100. 

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NEXT: Facebook Being Used by Sex Traffickers in Indonesia

Ed Krayewski is a former associate editor at Reason.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Someone else take first today.

    1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

      And take away your reason for living?

      1. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

        Green is such an unflattering color on you.

        1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

          No it's not, it makes my belly look huge and really brings out the spots on my hands.

    2. Ted S.   13 years ago

      I'm just happy to be here. It means power hasn't gone out yet from Sandy.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

        Get your looting rock ready.

        1. Ted S.   13 years ago

          Oh, I live in the middle of nowhere up in the Catskills. 35mph winds for tonight, with gusts up to 65. I expect the power to go out, although I shouldn't get it as bad as NYC or NJ.

          1. Isaac Bartram   13 years ago

            You'll probably get a shitload of snow too and be cut of from civilization for a week.

            I get the impression that one of the problems with this storm is not so much intensity as size.

            It pretty much looks like this will take three to four days to pass completely, unlike the one to two days the average storm takes to pass over in the tropics and subtropics.

            1. Entropy Void   13 years ago

              Do you think Pat Robertson conjured Sandy up to suppress the Obama vote in the Liberal North East?

              1. PapayaSF   13 years ago

                Actually, it gives the media something to talk about other than Benghazi and the fact that Obama seems to be losing.

      2. CE   13 years ago

        Massive hurricane threatens to shut down New York city for 3 or 4 days, costing billions in lost business.

        So here is Bloomberg's plan:

        Shut down the city a day early, making the loss 25-33 percent worse.

  2. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    ...while the Secretary of Defense explained there wasn't a clear enough picture of what was happening to justify risking U.S. forces going in.

    Apparently we need better drones.

    1. Rich   13 years ago

      A lotta guys might say that the very lack of clarity *justified* risking U.S. forces going in.

      Of course, Libya's a sovereign nation. Can't be too careful about that.

    2. Drake   13 years ago

      We also must need better CIA Agents with laser designators aimed at the mortars pounding our consulate into rubble.

      They need to start telling the truth or at least better lies.

  3. sarcasmic   13 years ago

    Madonna endorses Obama on stage to boos and walkouts.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....ncert.html

    1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

      In Louisiana, where only racists live.

      1. wareagle   13 years ago

        racists can't live in a chocolate city, can they?

        1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

          New Orleans isn't in Louisiana! Louisiana is in the South.

          1. wareagle   13 years ago

            oh, you meant the other New Orleans.

            1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

              Yeah, the one that votes Democrat.

    2. Anomalous   13 years ago

      Did she expect anyone to take her seriously, other than a few middle-aged gay men?

    3. Ice Nine   13 years ago

      Sure it wasn't her music?

      1. Ted S.   13 years ago

        Presumably the people were there for the music.

        1. The Craig   13 years ago

          That alone is fascinating.

          1. Ice Nine   13 years ago

            You mean his failure to grasp sarcasm?

  4. sarcasmic   13 years ago

    Kate Moss claims to have never used heroin nor been anorexic.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....model.html
    Gotta sell the autobiography somehow.

    1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

      Hmm. She does make a convincing case.

    2. Eduard van Haalen   13 years ago

      How does she expect to sell an autobiography which doesn't have any heroin in it?

      1. Eduard van Haalen   13 years ago

        PS - I'm not saying she did heroin, just that she should say she did.

      2. Ted S.   13 years ago

        Wouldn't including the heroin with the autobiography be a bit expensive?

        1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

          Ok maybe just the hardcover versions then.

    3. Red Rocks Rockin   13 years ago

      "Kate Moss: If I Did It"

  5. sarcasmic   13 years ago

    Oysters with herpes?
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....ERPES.html

    1. Anomalous   13 years ago

      They're French oysters. Is it pronounced like Herm?s?

  6. sarcasmic   13 years ago

    Christina Hendricks says "Moooooooo!"
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....-City.html

    1. Anomalous   13 years ago

      Seems to me like she's doing her best to cover them.

    2. Also Ran   13 years ago

      WTF, she's married to the snozberries kid from Super Troopers? There is no god.

      1. Red Rocks Rockin   13 years ago

        From his point of view, it's evidence that there is.

  7. sarcasmic   13 years ago

    Jennifer Aniston shows off her cleavage while Florence Welch continues to look like a man.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....eroux.html

  8. sarcasmic   13 years ago

    Woman claims TSA stole jewelery then deleted surveillance.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....LETED.html
    Apparently they keep the footage for thirty days, which just so happens to be the amount of time it takes to go through the complaint process. How convenient.

    1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

      Man, that does work out pretty well for them. Serendipity!

    2. db   13 years ago

      Procedures: Followed.

      1. Ted S.   13 years ago

        Oh, there's no double standard.

    3. R C Dean   13 years ago

      Video under the control of the police is such a good way to hold the accountable.

    4. Andrew S.   13 years ago

      TSA has rules very similar to most police departments. If the video would exonerate their "officers", it's readily available. If the video would prove wrongdoing, it's lost, or unavailable, or the video camera wasn't working.

  9. invisible furry hand   13 years ago

    The joys of socialised medicine, British style:

    Cystic Fibrosis sufferer is being refused a "chance of life" drug by the NHS despite the manufacturer offering it to her for free, it has emerged.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/hea.....y-NHS.html

    1. wareagle   13 years ago

      but it will be different when we do it because our central planners are so much smarter than anyone else's.

      1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

        Well they sure as shit wouldn't be offering anything for free.

      2. Anomalous   13 years ago

        Ours will truly be Top Men (excluding a few power bottoms).

    2. robc   13 years ago

      I know better, but please dont read the comments. Learn from the mistakes of others!

      1. sarcasmic   13 years ago

        No surprise that they bring out the lifespan argument.

        As if a lack of socialized medicine is to blame for America's greater rates of obesity, car accidents, and gang related murders bringing down lifespan statistics.

        Irrational idiots are irrational.

        1. wareagle   13 years ago

          the real lesson here is that saying no is a necessary component of socialized systems. Their top men realize that money is not infinite, even if ours do not.

          1. sarcasmic   13 years ago

            Except for the part where the drug maker offered it for no cost.

            1. SugarFree   13 years ago

              That's just a capitalist trick. It's like a heroin dealer giving the first taste for free. If that first patient gets better, then demand for the drug will take off. And then NHS will be too broke from curing Cystic Fibrosis to afford boob jobs and sex changes!

              1. LibertyWolf   13 years ago

                As someone with a kid with CF, this is I hope not a vision of things to come here.

                Kalydeco has been nothing but amazing for the CF mutation, G551D, that it was designed to fix. If you don't know, the cillia in CF lungs gets so weighted down with thick mucus that that it is very difficult to get anything out. So, this eventually causes scarring and doesn't allow the body to get out all the bacteria that ends up in the lungs. So CF people routinely culture staph, MRSA, and all sorts of bad things. The correcter makes it so the body can process salt correctly, which thins out the mucus to normal levels. This allows people with the G551 gene to start getting lung function back, because the cillia can actually work. Bascially, NHS is giving her a death sentence by not allowing this.

                While my son doesn't have that mutation, the company that makes the drug has found that using Kalydeco in conjuction with other correctors will help with his mutation also.

  10. SugarFree   13 years ago

    Bloomberg's Hurricane Boner

    He hard with excitement over the powers a disaster will give him over the populace.

    1. db   13 years ago

      Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Bloomberg Gracie wgah'nagl fhtagn!

    2. $park?   13 years ago

      Good thing they aren't zooming in on some woman's tits, because that would be sexist.

      1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

        Almost got me to click!

        Almost.

  11. Caleb Turberville   13 years ago

    Joss Whedon made a funny, little anti-Romney ad. It's liberal and douchey, but it's innocent enough and I'm sure it'll spawn a news, shortly-lived beloved series for fanboys to fawn over.

    1. Eduard van Haalen   13 years ago

      No aggressive teenage girls beating up on Romney? Why would Whedon's fanboys watch it, then?

      1. Caleb Turberville   13 years ago

        Maybe there'll be more episodes. He didn't start that channel just to load one video?

      2. Red Rocks Rockin   13 years ago

        "You know what would really make this pop? A 90-pound waif with martial arts and shooting skills!"

    2. robc   13 years ago

      The funny thing is, and he has noted it and hates it, but all of his heroes end up being basically libertarians.

      I think someone is lying to themselves.

      1. Caleb Turberville   13 years ago

        He got his jab at libertarians in the video too, or at least the Objectivists.

        1. Randian   13 years ago

          Color me unsurprised that he's too ignorant to pronounce Ayn Rand's name properly.

          1. tarran   13 years ago

            He can't pronounce Alisa Rosenbaum? Poor guy...

      2. Brett L   13 years ago

        He admires and fears us, rob. He's afraid he couldn't hang in libertopia.

        1. T   13 years ago

          As long as he keeps making the casting decisions he does, he'll do okay.

    3. Bee Tagger   13 years ago

      Lena Dunham should take note. That's how you make a cutesy, but witty, political ad that exploits simplistic stereotypes about the other party.

    4. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

      Mindless talking points from Whedon's kitchen?

    5. Ice Nine   13 years ago

      Electing Romney will guarantee overpopulation. You've been warned.

      1. Big 'Orra   13 years ago

        Electing Romney will guarantee overpopulation. You've been warned.

        Tell again how they are the "Party of the People?"

      2. Rich   13 years ago

        Curses! Outbred again!

    6. $park?   13 years ago

      I'll bet he actually believes all that too.

    7. Caleb Turberville   13 years ago

      You know, now that I think of it. Because Whedon has such a big kick for writing strong female characters, I wonder how well he would do with an Atlas Shrugged adaptation?

      1. Eduard van Haalen   13 years ago

        Dagne's too old for him.

        1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

          If she was a vampire, she could be played by a much younger actress...

      2. Red Rocks Rockin   13 years ago

        Because Whedon has such a big kick for writing Kept Man fantasies of unrealistically powerful strong female characters

        That's better.

    8. Xenocles   13 years ago

      I'm not going to watch it; I want to continue to be able to enjoy his work.

  12. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    ...and denied it was re-cut to make President Obama look better.

    That green screen scene with Obama digitally inserted leading the raid was in the original script. As was the noogie he gave the target.

    1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

      Did they tighten up his catchphrase after they got him?

      I think the original shoots were:

      "Osama bin Laden? More like Osama bin Deaden."

      "Remember when I told you I'd kill you last, Osama? I bullshitted."

      1. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

        "Present."

        1. Auric Demonocles   13 years ago

          If you've got a terrorist organization? You didn't build that.

  13. invisible furry hand   13 years ago

    Terrorist's family planning to sue British government for helping to kill him in CIA drone strike

    Al Qaeda planner, from Birmingham, played role in coordinating airline bomb plot

    Rashid Rauf's family seeking a declaration by civil courts that intelligence sharing is unlawful

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....trike.html

  14. sarcasmic   13 years ago

    Owl caught on camera picking off a domestic cat.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....-meal.html
    Here kitty kitty! Who?

    1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

      How many licks does it take to get to the center of a domestic cat?

      Also, insert joke about hooters and pussy.

    2. robc   13 years ago

      Remember the story about the people upset when they found out that their cats were killing huge numbers of birds by putting the cameras on them?

      Yeah, this too.

      1. Brett L   13 years ago

        Turnabout is fair.

    3. Ice Nine   13 years ago

      They apparently didn't post the photo of the disemboweled owl, taken five seconds later.

      1. Citizen Nothing   13 years ago

        Yeah. I'd take either of my cats v. a barred owl straight up. Of course, my cats are experienced killers. I suspect that if they ever decided to team up, they could take down a whitetail deer, no sweat.

        1. Ted S.   13 years ago

          My parents had a cairn terrier (the breed that plays Toto in the Judy Garland Wizard of Oz) that would have tried chasing after deer if she weren't always on a leash for her walks.

          One of the greatest small dogs I've known.

          1. T   13 years ago

            I've got 5 westies. En masse, they'll take a run at anything, and one or two of them don't need the backup. They wouldn't know what the fuck to do with a deer if they cornered it, but they'd damn sure give it their all to run one to ground.

            1. Ted S.   13 years ago

              Got that on Youtube?

            2. Brett L   13 years ago

              They wouldn't know what the fuck to do with a deer if they cornered it

              Start at the ankles and bite their way up.

    4. R C Dean   13 years ago

      We had great horned owls in our neighborhood at a former residence.

      Those are some spooky birds. Huge, dead silent. Could easily pick off any cat, and most small dogs. They even gave my pits the willies.

    5. Warty   13 years ago

      I'm pretty sure I've lost at least one cat to owls.

      1. hamilton   13 years ago

        Ditto. Though in our case a Great Horned Owl, which I think would take out most of the little kitties out there.

        1. Warty   13 years ago

          Yeah, mine too. Those fuckers are huge.

      2. sarcasmic   13 years ago

        I've lost cats to coyotes, but not owls. To my knowledge anyway.

    6. gaijin   13 years ago

      Funny...and the owl is looking right at the camera, like it's doing its version of Heismann pose or something...

  15. VG Zaytsev   13 years ago

    Who gives a shit about a Des Moines Register endorsement.

    1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

      Sage Rosenfels?

      Lara Flynn Boyle?

    2. db   13 years ago

      If you look at the history of that paper's endorsements, you'll see it breaks a longstanding tradition.

      1. tarran   13 years ago

        No it's not. The last time a technocratic progressive-lite ex-Ma governor was in the final two, they endorsed him too. Remember Dukakis?

        1. db   13 years ago

          Dukakis is so forgettable the only thing people remember about him is Jon Lovitz's portrayal on SNL.

          1. Ted S.   13 years ago

            I'd have guessed the only thing people remembered about Dukakis is this. (Safe for work.)

          2. CE   13 years ago

            No, people remember the cheesy grin while was driving the tank, and the dopey bunny suit while he visiting a semiconductor plant, and the dispassionate wonk-like analysis when discussing the appropriate criminal sanction for a violent attack on his wife.

    3. kinnath   13 years ago

      Liberals that live in Iowa perhaps.

    4. hamilton   13 years ago

      Hitler?

      Or are we not playing that game right now?

    5. gaijin   13 years ago

      agreed. I've never understood why anyone cares what a faceless editorial board thinks. And if you decide who to vote for based on a a paper's endorsement, well, you deserve what you get I guess.

      1. Ice Nine   13 years ago

        The Obama campaign will definitely care when newspapers all over the midwest follow suit, as is already starting.

    6. R C Dean   13 years ago

      I think it plays into the preference cascade against Obama. Its OK now to say you won't vote for the black(ish) man.

      1. Ted S.   13 years ago

        Is "mulatto" socially acceptable to use?

        1. T   13 years ago

          Well, it is here, at least according to one commenter. But I'm reasonably sure HampersandR etiquitte is not dispositive of the rest of society. At least, that's what my wife keeps telling me.

          1. Lord Humungus   13 years ago

            we have our own little society here!

          2. hamilton   13 years ago

            I think they freed th ampersands now. Lemme check: &&&&

            1. T   13 years ago

              Hmm. Let me check: H&R.

              1. LTC(ret) John   13 years ago

                Can I get a Hallelujah & an Amen?

              2. robc   13 years ago

                How about arrows?

                H&R
                h-R

                1. robc   13 years ago

                  Nope, greater than signs are still verboten.

                  I get the problem with less than signs, as it starts a tag, but a unmatched greater than sign shouldnt cause any problems.

            2. Jack the Reaper   13 years ago

              Perhaps the squirrels have all they need for the winter & are going into hybernation.

        2. Big 'Orra   13 years ago

          Is "mulatto" socially acceptable to use?

          Only if they are heroic...

          1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

            "In a sane and just world..."

            /Homage

      2. kinnath   13 years ago

        It's a big deal in Iowa.

        The editorial board has always been leftish, but the newspaper gets great respect from the national news organizations for running even-handed campaign analysis particularly regarding the caucuses.

        So when the board goes against an incumbent democratic president, it really is a big deal.

        1. CE   13 years ago

          So they're being consistent, by endorsing the leftist Romney.

  16. Ice Nine   13 years ago

    The Muslim holiday of Eid Al-Adha was marred by suicide bombings

    That's kind of like saying the Christian holiday of Christmas was marred by the singing of carols.

    1. Ted S.   13 years ago

      If I have to hear "Here We Come A-Wassailing" one more time....

    2. Rich   13 years ago

      "Deck we now our suicide vests!"

    3. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

      "Rudolph the Red Nosed Martyr"

      1. Ted S.   13 years ago

        Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related.

    4. invisible furry hand   13 years ago

      We three kings of Orient are
      Blowing up our neighbourhood bar

      1. SIV   13 years ago

        neighbourhood

        FOREIGNER! Git him!

    5. wareagle   13 years ago

      Allah rest ye merry infidels.

      1. Citizen Nothing   13 years ago

        Good Shiek el Maktoom looked out
        on Eid al-Adna
        Where jihadists roamed about
        Ululating fatwa.
        Brightly shown the desert sand
        on Mohammad's fighters
        Representing Muslim Bros.
        And of course al-Quaeda

        1. LTC(ret) John   13 years ago

          *golf clap*

        2. Kant feel Pietzsche   13 years ago

          Seconded

    6. sloopyinca   13 years ago

      Frosty the the Sandman
      Had a vest made out of bombs.
      And he'd walk their way as their kids would play
      And he'd blow up all their moms.

      Oh-oh, Frosty the Sandman
      was a jihadist they'd say.
      And some virgin chicks and a few with dicks
      would be his on Judgement Day.

      1. sloopyinca   13 years ago

        Boom-ity boom boom
        boom-ity boom boom
        Look at Frosty go.

        Boom-ity boom boom
        boom-ity boom boom
        Over dead bodies, ho.

        1. Randian   13 years ago

          Combined with CN's Wenceslas parody, and I declare this subthread an H?R Insta-Classic ?.

          1. LTC(ret) John   13 years ago

            Seconded!

          2. Rich   13 years ago

            Thirded! It's "blastfamous"!

    7. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

      "Eleven pipe-bombers pipe-bombing"

    8. Stormy Dragon   13 years ago

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wskT6YfVB6E

  17. Bee Tagger   13 years ago

    and denied it was re-cut to make President Obama look better.

    In light of Paul Ryan's recent pictorials, there had to have been an effort to re-cut Obama.

  18. invisible furry hand   13 years ago

    Octomum acts all surprised. Or she's so stupid she actually is surprised:

    'Nobody takes me seriously in job interviews because of all the negative things people say about "Octomom", like calling me a benefits parasite.

    'I can't get a normal job.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....z2Ah1vaVGJ

    1. Brett L   13 years ago

      Imagine you're a company and some lady comes to you and says she has 8 kids, all multibirths. Do you (a) watch you profits for the year migrate to the insurance company or (b) tell her she's not right for the job?

      1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

        (c) Release the hounds.

      2. sloopyinca   13 years ago

        First you ask her why there's a film crew in your office. Then you ask her why she's in your office. Then you call security.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   13 years ago

          Careful.

          Care. Ful.

          Don't want to come off as not being equal to woman's status.

          Lest we raise the ire of the Dun-Hams!

          1. Stormy Dragon   13 years ago

            Why would Jeff Dunham get upset about that? Have you heard him ragging on his ex-wife since the divorce?

            1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

              He doesn't count Stormy, his degree in Master's of Puppetry was earned in The School of Hard Knocks, not some fancy-schmansy Ivy League school.

      3. invisible furry hand   13 years ago

        It's not even that. Imagine you're a company and some lady comes to you and says she chose to have 14 kids as a single mother. What job do you have in your organisation that is so simple even a braindead muppet like her couldn't fuck it up?

        1. Enough About Palin   13 years ago

          There is a man with Downs Syndrome who works at the downtown Target cleaning scuff marks off the floor using a tennis ball on a long stick. I bet she could handle that. And I just want to say that I truly admire Target for hiring the DS guy. It provides income and socialization that he might not otherwise have.

      4. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

        (c) Since this is an HR professional's worst nightmare, from an EEOC POV, you simply accept the application, and say "We'll call." Remember, "We'll call" is the equivalent of the non-apology-apology.

        Technically, an apology was issued, but not quite in the way as might be expected.

        "We have you application on file," is another sure fire non-descriminatory-discriminatory, as equal opportunity to apply for a position has been satisfied.

    2. Ice Nine   13 years ago

      Those photos! Welcome to Hell.

      1. Rich   13 years ago

        Nadya's old house was destroyed by her children and was foreclosed

        Some kind of justice there.

  19. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    A Greek newspaper publisher who printed a list of wealthy Greeks that held Swiss bank accounts is facing prison time for violating data privacy laws.

    He needed WikiGreeks.

    1. LTC(ret) John   13 years ago

      When I finish groaning, I will admit that was funny.

  20. SugarFree   13 years ago

    Breaking News: Men Still Like Breasts; Feminists Still Angry That Men Like Breasts

    How. Dare. We.

    1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

      We. Are. Not. Amused.

    2. wareagle   13 years ago

      the feminists are pissed that men like boobs, yet every other DailyMail picture is of some woman showing her boobs. I can only imagine what teh comments say.

      1. SugarFree   13 years ago

        Actually, there is a petition going around to ban Page 3 girls, using the facile argument "You don't see naked women on the nightly news, do you?"

        In reality, the actual argument to be made is: "Why don't see naked women on the nightly news?"

        The Naked News was ahead of its time in so many ways.

        1. Ted S.   13 years ago

          If the women and gay guys want the equivalent Page 3 men, let them have at it.

          1. SugarFree   13 years ago

            Page 4 Dong Parade

            1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

              That's a good band name.

            2. sloopyinca   13 years ago

              After visiting your blog, I doubt they'd want to get into an IP fight with you, SF, if they also named it that.

    3. Anomalous   13 years ago

      Anything that pisses off the Jezebel twats is cool with me.

    4. Brett L   13 years ago

      The best part is that it depends on a shitty translation. "Incentiva" is usually translated "encourage" not "make". I'd translate it: "If we love, we should take care of them. Encourage women to get a breast screening." But, of course, that would totally ruin the lynchpin on which the moral outrage hinges.

      1. SugarFree   13 years ago

        How dare you accurately manslate the language of an oppressed people.

        1. Brett L   13 years ago

          Spanish is an oppressor language. Who better than I to teach them to speak it? They have more words for force than Eskimos have for snow, and this is on the lowest end of the spectrum. (Also, think of the neologism "incentivize".)

          1. sloopyinca   13 years ago

            Brett, I genuinely feared for your safety as the end of the Cowboys game yesterday. Had Dez Bryant's right hand been two inches to the left, I believe you would have gone on a multi-state killing spree.

            1. Brett L   13 years ago

              It was close, sloop. You definitely would've seen "man arrested for attempting to kneecap Eli".

              1. Auric Demonocles   13 years ago

                Eli sucked pretty hard yesterday. Fortunately for him, Romo sucked so hard in one quarter that it ended up not mattering. I am impressed with your week, though I'm amazed that someone picked the Browns and got a point out of it.

                1. Brett L   13 years ago

                  Yeah. That was my bet. Trust Romo to fail. Also, statistically, the Browns were likely to beat someone besides the Bengals, and who better than Phillip Rivers to make that happen?

                  1. Resto Druid FTW   13 years ago

                    THIS^^^^

          2. Auric Demonocles   13 years ago

            Spanish is an oppressor language.

            Did you know that in a group of both men and women, the masculine form is used?

            1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

              I think I'm going to be sick...

            2. Zeb   13 years ago

              Apparently (and disappointingly), in Spain at least, they are starting to use "el o ella" and even "ellos y ellas" instead of just using the masculine as the neutral. I guess they have been paying to o much attention to PC bullcrap to notice that their economy was about to crash.

      2. Randian   13 years ago

        Brett L beat me to it.

        I have to wonder what kind of dishonest hack takes the word "incentiva" and translates it as "make", like we're all so stupid we think that's accurate.

        1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

          You are familiar with Google translate, no?

    5. The Craig   13 years ago

      At least breast cancer awareness month is almost over. Now we can get back to admiring them without being reminded of lumpy cancer boobs.

    6. Mike M.   13 years ago

      Well, men not named "sarcasmic" at least.

  21. mad libertarian guy   13 years ago

    Teachers scared shitless of losing jobs for being bad teachers!

    For teachers, the biggest fear is that a poor evaluation could lead to job loss. Under the new Colorado law, teachers can be rated highly effective, effective, partially effective or ineffective. Starting in the 2014-15 school year, anyone who receives an "ineffective" or "partially effective" rating for two consecutive years will be stripped of the state's equivalent of tenure status, said Katy Anthes, the executive director of educator effectiveness at the state Education Department. To qualify for tenure, a new teacher must be rated at least "effective" for three consecutive years.

    During the St. Vrain training session, officials from the state Education Department sought to tamp down fears that the new evaluations were designed to weed out or shame underperforming teachers. "It is not about a 'gotcha' game," Mike Gradoz, a consultant with the department, told the teachers and principals. "It is about elevating the game so you get better at what you already do."

    1. mad libertarian guy   13 years ago

      But don't worry: there are barely any bad teachers anyways, and subjecting teachers to evaluations could harm the good ones!

      During a break, Mr. Mehsling said the new system ? and the mandated consequences ? would indeed make it easier for principals to fire low-performing teachers. "The elephant in the room that we are dancing around is the fact that public education has not done a good job on our own dismissing ineffective teachers," Mr. Mehsling said.

      But, he added, such teachers represented only 1 or 2 percent of those in classrooms. The new systems, he said, could subject the best teachers to onerous observation and bureaucracy so that principals could justify firing a few bad eggs. "It is taking a sledgehammer where an ice pick would have been effective," he said.

      Teachers: below standards, above evaluation.

      1. SugarFree   13 years ago

        This sounds awfully familiar to the arguments against citizen review boards for the police. "It's just a few bad apples, and the good cops will have to have burdensome oversight!"

        1. R C Dean   13 years ago

          Funny how that argument never seems to work when we are talking about regulation of non-pubsec citizens.

        2. Red Rocks Rockin   13 years ago

          I like how he's pretending as if nearly all of those teachers won't be given anything below "effective" two years in a row.

          And it's not going to change much--in a tight economy, the younger teachers will still get released in preference to the older teachers.

      2. wareagle   13 years ago

        "It is taking a sledgehammer where an ice pick would have been effective," he said.

        maybe the sledgehammer was brought in because no one was willing to use the icepick. And if you believe that the 98-99% of teachers presumably NOT classified as being very good, I have an oceanfront parcel in TN for you.

        1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

          But Tennessee is landlocked! Man you are just doing terrible on your geography today, wareagle.

          1. wareagle   13 years ago

            I must have had that 1-2% of the really bad teachers that even the union would be okay with firing.

            1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

              So you're saying you could use some re-education?

              1. wareagle   13 years ago

                from the looks of this site, we all could.

                Nice chat spot you have; be a shame if anything happened to it.

              2. Ted S.   13 years ago

                Re?ducation, thank you very much.

                Please try to co?perate in the future.

            2. mad libertarian guy   13 years ago

              THIS!

              I had 2 teachers that I would consider good (and I taught at both the high school and university level and have an idea of what good teaching is/is not) throughout 12 years of school, and both teachers were fucking band teachers.

              I had teachers who were drunk. A band teacher during my senior year who wouldn't bother showing up for 1st period for days at a time WITHOUT INFORMING THE SCHOOL SO THAT WE COULD HAVE A SUBSTITUTE (and we still managed to get superior ratings in statewide competition by directing ourselves). Verbally abusive teachers. Physically abusive teachers. Teachers who absolutely didn't give a fuck. Teachers who willfully interpreted boredom from not being challenged as "bad behavior", offering punishment rather than encouraging students with more challenging work.

              And out of 13 years of forced schooling, I can't count only 2 that I would gladly deal with again.

              1. mad libertarian guy   13 years ago

                And out of 13 years of forced schooling, I can't count only 2 that I would gladly deal with again.

                And with this fucking grammar, it shows!

    2. db   13 years ago

      Do these people not understand that in the real world, it is standard to link job performance with job retention?

      1. VG Zaytsev   13 years ago

        That's mean and possibly racist.

        1. mad libertarian guy   13 years ago

          That's mean evil and possibly definitely racist.

          FIFY

          You rat bagging tea fucker.

        2. hamilton   13 years ago

          "Possibly"? Report for retraining, stat.

      2. invisible furry hand   13 years ago

        This fatally misunderstands the role of public schools in looking after those who cannot look after themselves in the real world: children until they're 18, and teachers until they're retirement age

        1. mad libertarian guy   13 years ago

          and teachers until they're retirement age

          If only looking after teachers ended with their retirement.

        2. db   13 years ago

          Just keep everyone in school forever under the watchful eye of teachers. Our country will be the most educated and highly successful in history!

        3. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

          The age of the end of childhood is officially 26 now, IFH.

      3. Brett L   13 years ago

        "You've never worked in the private sector! They expect results!"

    3. VG Zaytsev   13 years ago

      It's almost like teachers think that measurements of their performance are entirely subjective even random, and that education outcomes are beyond their individual control.

      But STFU and give em a raise because thy're so important.

      1. Auric Demonocles   13 years ago

        I saw an Obama ad yesterday claiming that the key to getting the economy going strong was smaller class size.

        1. Brett L   13 years ago

          Didn't work in FL. Or maybe our classes just aren't small enough. Although, I don't know any out of work teachers, so I'd say the teacher full employment project can't grow the economy on its own.

          1. Auric Demonocles   13 years ago

            Is the student:teacher ratio 0 yet? Because that is the point at which class size is small enough.

            1. Anomalous   13 years ago

              It is in the rubber rooms.

          2. mad libertarian guy   13 years ago

            According to the Education Industrial Complex, class sizes are NEVER small enough. We have the smallest class sizes in history. We have more teachers than ever. And yet educational outcomes haven't improved one fucking bit in over 40 years of shrinking class sizes and spending unknown sums of money. But it's still not enough.

            1. Azathoth!!   13 years ago

              But education income is growing rapidly.

              And that's what they care about.

        2. db   13 years ago

          So everyone who's unemployed and had an average class size over 20 has to repeat high school? Will the government pay a stipend?

      2. Jerry on the road   13 years ago

        "You can't measure our effectiveness, now give us your money!"

  22. Rich   13 years ago

    German auditors want a physical check of gold the Bundesbank has stored abroad, including at the Federal Reserve in the U.S.

    How *dare* they! After all we've done for them!

    1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

      And after we saved their ass in WWII.

      1. robc   13 years ago

        Since no one in germany is a descendent of nazis (just ask them), we did.

      2. Delroy   13 years ago

        I thought we forgave them for bombing Pearl Harbor.

    2. R C Dean   13 years ago

      Someone pointed out that audits will certainly confirm the gold holdings of the first one to ask for an audit, but you probably don't want to be at the end of that line.

      1. robc   13 years ago

        Nah, everyone's gets confirmed, they just count the same gold over and over.

        1. T   13 years ago

          As long as all the auditors don't show up at once, they'll be fine.

        2. R C Dean   13 years ago

          they just count the same gold over and over.

          Every bar has a unique ID number. The audit consists of matching the owner's list of ID numbers to bars in the vault, and then (for the truly paranoid) testing the bars to make sure they are actually gold all the way through.

          1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

            If there is an audit, go long on aqua regia.

            1. Rich   13 years ago

              +24ct plating

    3. Tim   13 years ago

      Maybe they want that gold Clint Eastwood stole from them, with their own Tiger Tank.

      1. LTC(ret) John   13 years ago

        +1 positive wave

  23. SugarFree   13 years ago

    Chaos in Japan As "Potato Parties" Ravage Island Nation

    1. Brett L   13 years ago

      Incredibly disappointing. The Japanese have so much more potential for "potato parties".

      1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

        This site is blocked for me. Can someone please to explain?

        1. Randian   13 years ago

          They order a bunch of fries and eat them. Japanese people are pissed.

          No idea why.

          I swear that's all there is.

    2. Ted S.   13 years ago

      Isn't starch bad for you?

      1. wareagle   13 years ago

        just the kind from french fries. The type found in white rice, apparently not so much.

    3. Ice Nine   13 years ago

      Only fries? What, no roiyaru motte chi-zu?!

    4. Fluffy   13 years ago

      The best comment at the link is "Why isn't this a thing in America?"

      Come on, local McDonald's. Get on the case. Run a promotion where $1 buys you a supersized fries. Those pictures will be my lunch every day that week.

  24. The Late P Brooks   13 years ago

    For teachers, the biggest fear is that a poor evaluation could lead to job loss.

    Welcome to reality, parasites.

    1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

      Oh please, we're still at least 2 generations from actually doing anything about it.

      But yeah, I guess making them cry a little now, even with no effectiveness, is a good thing.

  25. Caleb Turberville   13 years ago

    What a pathetic ballot Michael Moore had to sign. No wonder he thinks that the only alternative to Romney is Obama.

    1. 0x90   13 years ago

      Michael Moore ?@MMFlint: "Here I am, voting right now, hoping this helps stop the lunatics from completely taking over"

      Michael Moore ?@MMFlint: "Romney - you see this? This is me cooking your goose. In Michigan. Where the trees are used to make ballots to defeat u"

      So impotent.

      1. Fluffy   13 years ago

        So what he's saying is that if Romney wins Michigan the salty ham tears will rival those that will arise from a Brown victory in MA?

      2. Randian   13 years ago

        Shouldn't Moore be a Green Party voter?

        1. John   13 years ago

          Good question.

        2. 0x90   13 years ago

          A vote for the green party is a vote for the rethuglicants, dontchaknow?

        3. mad libertarian guy   13 years ago

          Of all things that MM worships, power and authority are at the top of the list. Even if his moral compass dictated that he vote Green, his authority boner dictates that he vote Team BLUE.

          1. LTC(ret) John   13 years ago

            May I ask a favor? Please do NOT ever use the terms MM and boner in the same comment again!

            Thanks very much.

            1. SugarFree   13 years ago

              You shouldn't be afraid of your feelings, LTC.

              1. LTC(ret) John   13 years ago

                I am more afraid of the thought of that Fat Bastard wannabe waving around a woody for power.

            2. invisible furry hand   13 years ago

              doesn't it depend what the MM stands for? Mandy Moore? M&Ms;?

              1. db   13 years ago

                I love Peanut M&Ms;. Almost enough to get a boner.

            3. mad libertarian guy   13 years ago

              It's not like you'd be able to see it with his ample rollage covering it up anyways.

    2. Caleb Turberville   13 years ago

      Did Gary Johnson not get on the Michigan ballot?

      1. Randian   13 years ago

        No, you have to write him in due to GOP shenanigans.

        1. Caleb Turberville   13 years ago

          I'm not even sure I care to watch the results the night of. I have a biochem exam that morning, and I'll just find me a few episodes of MST3K to watch during the evening. And like the Sisyphean nightmare it is, everything will reset and restart like nothing ever changed.

          1. Mark   13 years ago

            hah i have a biochem exam too, so lovely ain't it

  26. Enough About Palin   13 years ago

    "The Des Moines Register endorsed Mitt Romney, the first time the Iowa paper's endorsed a Republican since Richard Nixon."

    That doesn't bode well.

    1. kinnath   13 years ago

      Last Friday's front page on the Register looked like a Romney campaign ad. It was really shocking to see that from the Register.

    2. Ice Nine   13 years ago

      No it doesn't. There's already a bit of a snowball effect apparent.

      1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

        I have noticed this as well. John posted a well-reasoned argument from Slate yesterday, and I must admit, it is fairly compelling.

        My "Obama's a lock stance," has now been submitted for reevaluation.

        1. Brett L   13 years ago

          I think he eeks out OH, WI, and Penn by a couple thousand votes each, loses the popular vote, and gets another 4 years. Unfortunately.

          1. Red Rocks Rockin   13 years ago

            He won't get Pennsylvania, and I doubt he wins Wisconsin. But the way things are breaking right now, if he gets the current ties, wins the toss-ups he's ahead in and flips Ohio, he wins.

            Whether he wins the EC or not, I still think he wins the popular vote, which I'm hoping for with all my might just for the spectacle of the left suddenly discovering how valuable the EC is once more.

            1. mad libertarian guy   13 years ago

              They won't. It'll be Bush v Gore all over again.

              The only way for them to acknowledge the importance of the EC is for Obama to with the EC, but not the popular vote. Then they'll be claiming how the EC is the savior of democracy.

        2. Ice Nine   13 years ago

          I repeat what I said here in early September - Romney wins big.

      2. Enough About Palin   13 years ago

        I was referring to the Nixon part.

  27. mad libertarian guy   13 years ago

    The New York Times, dishonest as per usual.

    But conservative critics of the Pell Grant program contend that as government pours more money into higher education ? whether in grants or loans ? the law of supply and demand dictates that it contributes to price increases.

    "Could the colleges charge what they're charging now in the absence of federal aid?" asked Neal McCluskey, an education analyst at the Cato Institute, a conservative policy research group. "The answer is no."

    Because libertarians are TOTALLY conservatives!

    And hold their love of all things government, whether effective or not, up like a beacon of truth!

    Experts from across the political spectrum say expanding college enrollment is not enough, that both quality and price must be addressed. Mr. Obama has taken steps to curb rising prices and link federal assistance to performance.

    "We're not just investing in the status quo; we're investing in reform," Mr. Duncan said.

    Experts say those attempts are limited, and may not work, but they go well beyond what other presidents have done.

    He hasn't accomplished anything, but he sure knows how to spend a fuckload of money doing it!

    1. Ted S.   13 years ago

      I figured out the higher education bubble 20 years ago when I was 18 and had to fill out financial aid forms.

      The politicians could figure it out too, but they don't want to.

      1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

        There's no incentive for them to.

    2. wareagle   13 years ago

      what "steps" exactly has POTUS taken to curb rising prices in an industry that is largely govt-run? And what authority would a president have over the costs of state institutions?

      1. T   13 years ago

        They're engaged in interstate commerce, and take federal money. The precedent has been set that he can tell them what to do all day long, and they'll have to suck it up.

        1. wareagle   13 years ago

          and tuition keeps going up every year. Whatever he claims to be telling them is being ignored.

          1. T   13 years ago

            Just because he's telling us something when he pertrouserates doesn't mean he's telling the schools that officially, now does it?

  28. Big 'Orra   13 years ago

    ...the first time the Iowa paper's endorsed a Republican since Richard Nixon.

    Well, we all know how well that worked out!

    1. R C Dean   13 years ago

      Pretty well, as far as winning the election goes.

      1. kinnath   13 years ago

        Mr. Nixon took 49 states that year.

    2. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

      Well he did win...

      1. wareagle   13 years ago

        and we didn't get into new wars.

    3. Big 'Orra   13 years ago

      Not snarky enough?

      Nixon won, liberty lost ... kinda like with Romney.

      1. Red Rocks Rockin   13 years ago

        That's presuming liberty is even in the running this year.

  29. The Late P Brooks   13 years ago

    the actual argument to be made is: "Why don't see naked women on the nightly news?"

    Candy Crowley.

    1. SugarFree   13 years ago

      What's wrong with giving John something to watch?

    2. R C Dean   13 years ago

      I'd be glued to the TV for Early Today, I'll admit.

      1. Randian   13 years ago

        But...but...but...

        *whispers*

        The View

        *shudders*

        1. LTC(ret) John   13 years ago

          I'd have to Elvis my TV.

      2. John   13 years ago

        Is Naked News still around? It used to be a nightly webcast with some decently attractive Canadian birds who got their kit off as the show went on.

      3. Shocked   13 years ago

        Fox and Friends First. Not regular Fox and Friends

  30. Auric Demonocles   13 years ago

    There's a storm coming to the East Coast, and it's already been blamed for a fall in early trading on the FTSE 100.

    There's 9 people in my immediate group at work, and only 3 of us aren't working from home today. Also my morning gym class was canceled today (though I didn't check my email in time). People seem to be getting way too worked up about this.

    1. wareagle   13 years ago

      it's unscientific but there is a clear correlation between coverage of storms and where they are anticipated to hit.

      Hurricane bearing down on the Gulf Coast? Who cares; just a bunch of racist rednecks and white trash anyway. Storm looking at East Coast? Oh my god; it'll make the storm of the century look like a misting.

      1. Fluffy   13 years ago

        Actually, I think the clear trend is for greater and greater hysteria in coverage of storms of ever-decreasing severity.

        Regardless of geography.

        By 2020 I expect round-the-clock frenzied cable news coverage of May afternoon sun showers.

        Assuming cable news still exists in 2020, that is.

        1. SugarFree   13 years ago

          There are at a minimum a dozen storms of the century every decade.

          1. John   13 years ago

            We have had three "once in a century" weather events in the last three years in Washington (Snowmagedon, the Dashio last summer, and now this). Either the Gods are trying to tell us something or maybe the weather isn't quite as predictable as they think.

            1. LTC(ret) John   13 years ago

              Say "100 year flood" to a National Guardsman from a Mississippi or Ohio River state and watch the eye rolling and scoffing begin.

            2. Lord Humungus   13 years ago

              Climate Change!

            3. mad libertarian guy   13 years ago

              Either the Gods are trying to tell us something or maybe the weather isn't quite as predictable as they think.

              Or, despite the scientific evidence telling us otherwise, they have to push forward the "cliMitt chanj iz cauzing massiv wether eventz wif MOAR FERKWENCY" meme. The media coverage is the setup for the argument that we must do something, which is the preface for more government programs.

              1. John   13 years ago

                Every weather event that deviates from the norm is because of global warming.

          2. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

            They have cover each one, on the chance that the last one was decidedly not the storm of the century...

            It would be poor form the allow them to be poor prognosticators, and allow them to keep their dignity and credibility.

            1. BigT   13 years ago

              They could wind up like seismologists in Italy.

            2. CE   13 years ago

              I can't believe they're not calling it "Stormageddon", like "Snowmageddon" and "Carmageddon", and the original "Armageddon" (the prophesied battle, not the impending asteroid, which it turns out, can be deflected with paintballs.)

              1. Auric Demonocles   13 years ago

                I've heard a lot of "Frankenstorm".

        2. CE   13 years ago

          And shutting down the city all week ahead of time, not just one day early.

          Just in case.

      2. Auric Demonocles   13 years ago

        How much is that related to the frequency of that type of storm hitting that area? A blizzard in Boston isn't a big deal, but if 2 inches hits Dallas it fucks up the Super Bowl a week later.

        1. Ted S.   13 years ago

          The Super Bowl never should have been in Jerry Jones' stadium in the first place.

      3. Zeb   13 years ago

        What you say is true to some extent, but I think it is mostly because the gulf coast and Florida get big hurricanes every year. It is more of a news story when they get into the mid-Atlantic and North East. The hype is still ridiculous, though.

        1. Brett L   13 years ago

          Actually, we haven't had one make landfall in 5 years in FL as a hurricane.

          1. Zeb   13 years ago

            Well, serious tropical weather systems, then.

    2. Mike M.   13 years ago

      Ever since that loose barge busted open the levee in New Orleans, the entire country has been infected with a chronic case of Hurricane Hysteria.

  31. Chinny Chin Chin   13 years ago

    Remember that sorority girl with the misspelled sign mocking Obama?

    Turns out she's an Obama supporter,and that was just her halloween costume.

    Seems that the young lass learned a valuable lesson in TEAM psychology...

    1. Randian   13 years ago

      A libertarian in the making?

      "The party I'm a part of because I'm tolerant and I think that homosexuals should be able to get married - the group of people that I associate with - can be just as cruel as the people I disagree with," she said.

      1. Eduard van Haalen   13 years ago

        I hadn't heard about this incident, but apparently it brought out a bunch of progressives who did not understand the human concept of humor.

    2. VG Zaytsev   13 years ago

      So a rich MA doucebag smears Alabamans as illiterate racist haters.

      When will the PC police knock on her door?

    3. SIV   13 years ago

      And people said awful things. They said she should be raped. They said she should kill herself.

      WAR ON WOMEN!

  32. The Late P Brooks   13 years ago

    I made a brief foray into the world of Morning Joke.

    1) Joe and Mika (sur-priiiise, sur-priiiiise) got an interview with the Ascended One. Judging by the look on her face, I'd say Mika's panties were soaking wet. She asked him what he planned to do with his second-term mandate. Seriously.

    2) The idiot from Boston asked the governor of Virginia(?) if the police were going to be out there arresting everybody who dared to venture out to the beach in defiance of government orders to stay home.

    1. T   13 years ago

      I dunno how it works elsewhere, but part of the deal with mandatory evac orders down here is that emergency response ain't coming once the evacuation deadline hits. You can stay, but you're on your own.

      1. Brett L   13 years ago

        Yep. Florida, too. Let Gaia takes the idiots she wants.

    2. VG Zaytsev   13 years ago

      I saw that too.

      Her first question was:

      "Why are the republicans making such a big deal about the Benghazi incident"

      1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

        I hate this woman. Also keep in mind the last name here. I think this type of thing runs in the family.

  33. tagtann   13 years ago

    That sounds like a pretty crazy plan to me dude. Wow.
    http://www.Anon-Yes.tk

  34. Fatty Bolger   13 years ago

    New Obama Slogan: They've Added An Exclamation Mark

    Previously, supporters of the president could wave banners and placards declaring, 'Forward' (see above). Now, with under ten days to go until election day, the signs read, 'Forward!'

    This is sure to put him over the top.

    1. invisible furry hand   13 years ago

      Silvio Berlusconi's slogan was "Avanti" which is Italian for "Forward!". Do the parallels end there?

      1. tarran   13 years ago

        Oh please let there have been Bunga, Bunga parties in the white house! Please! The lulz of watching the flailing of the progressive feminists as they try to deal with it would be epic!

      2. 0x90   13 years ago

        If Obama had half the balls of Berlusconi (so, roughly 50), I'd probably get out and vote for him, if only for the lulz. One of my favorites came back in June, when Berlusconi floated the idea of the Italian mint printing at will. More recently, this weekend, there was a pretty awesome FAIL committed by a telegraph blogger.

        I guess my point is: if we have to have a thug, couldn't we at least have one with style?

      3. Entropy Void   13 years ago

        "When the more stoic "Forward" slogan was first rolled out in April, some media outlets noted how the word had a historic link with socialism and Marxism. Predictably, this led to much hysterical screeching about how this obviously meant Obama was the new Chairman Mao or something."

        No, not Mao, Il Duce. Not the obsession with trains, the upshot portraits of him at the podium with the stare to the horizon, the worshipful posters, etc.

    2. Zeb   13 years ago

      They should put it in all caps too. Then people will know he really means it.

    3. Rich   13 years ago

      FWORD!

    4. Rich   13 years ago

      (I'll get around the spam-filter with this:)

      FWORD!

  35. The Late P Brooks   13 years ago

    Now, with under ten days to go until election day, the signs read, 'Forward!'

    "Faster, Lemmings! FASTER!"

    1. T   13 years ago

      Beat that horse harder. It'll get up in a minute.

  36. John   13 years ago

    Two days after the Libya terror attack, representatives of the FBI and National Counterterrorism Center gave Capitol Hill briefings in which they said the evidence supported an Al Qaeda or Al Qaeda-affiliated attack, Fox News has learned.

    Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/politic.....z2AhF7UhWZ

  37. invisible furry hand   13 years ago

    OK, which one of you is this?

    Nothing like jogging shirtless, wearing a horse head, in a #frankenstorm?. pic.twitter.com/62GEPL6I

    1. T   13 years ago

      Not me. I'd have worn a brightly colored speedo to contrast with my pasty white flab.

    2. LTC(ret) John   13 years ago

      Warty?!

  38. The Late P Brooks   13 years ago

    Ooh- Perky Butt-shaking Girl on Bloomberg is jabbering excitedly about storm cleanup in NYC.

    Krugabe must be in ecstasy.

    1. John   13 years ago

      Millions of broken windows. The entire state of New Jersey turned into a debris field. This is going to cause a boom!! A boom I tell you.

      1. BigT   13 years ago

        The Gulf Coast experienced a boom after Katrina.

        Of course, thousands had to move to Houston or stay in mold-infected trailers.

        1. LTC(ret) John   13 years ago

          There was no mold in those FEMA trailers, the formaldehyde had killed it all! I walked into one of those trailers and the fumes were so strong I almost puked.

    2. SugarFree   13 years ago

      Does the anchorwoman in grey always look that drunk?

      1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

        Yes.

  39. mad libertarian guy   13 years ago

    Average student loan debt among college graduates near $30k.

  40. John   13 years ago

    http://www.nakednews.com/

    There you go RC.

  41. The Late P Brooks   13 years ago

    jogging shirtless, wearing a horse head

    I go out as a moth-eaten Minotaur, in the style of Time Bandits.

  42. The Late P Brooks   13 years ago

    Does the anchorwoman in grey always look that drunk?

    "Drunk? I'm not drunk! I'm perky!

    1. SugarFree   13 years ago

      HD cameras are not kind.

      1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

        They are the florescent lighting of the digital photography world, Saccharin Man.

  43. mad libertarian guy   13 years ago

    Dicking over miniroities, one federal mandate at a time.

    When the Florida Board of Education voted this month to set different goals for student achievement in reading and math by race and ethnicity, among other guidelines, the move was widely criticized as discriminatory and harmful to blacks and Hispanics.

    But the state, which has been required to categorize achievement by racial, ethnic and other groups to the federal government for more than 10 years, intends to stand by its new strategic plan. Education officials say the targets, set for 2018, have been largely misunderstood.

    The end goal, they say, is that all students will be reading and doing math at grade level by 2023; the six-year goal is an interim step.

    The goals are calculated as part of a waiver granted by the federal government under its No Child Left Behind law. Florida is one of several states required to cut its achievement gap in half for all students by 2018, including those who are black, Hispanic, white, Asian, low-income, disabled or speak English as a second language.

    Need to cut the achievement gap? Just expect and demand less from minorities! Problem solved.

    Of course the pink elephant in the room is that teachers are livid over this (rightfully), yet they have NO PROBLEM WHATSOEVER with race based admissions standards.

    1. John   13 years ago

      Just tell every minority kid that the system is totally against them and they shouldn't even try to compete with the Asian and White kids. That will help things.

    2. Brett L   13 years ago

      Yeah. I've been enjoying the lulz of the people who have guaranteed that no action can be taken to fix the actual problem bitching about this. Stop supporting teachers unions and the myth that teaching is special, do everything possible to get parents involved and giving a shit, and this problem goes away. But no... then teachers couldn't bitch about their lives.

  44. nicole   13 years ago

    Fuckin' 90 Days 90 Reasons keeps bringing it, this time with national service. That one made me throw up in my mouth a little, somehow seemed even worse than "I am voting for Barack Obama because I've seen The Wire" (yes, seriously).

    1. John   13 years ago

      If you love national service join the military. But that is hard. These clowns want the federal government to pay them to do puppet shows for the poor.

      1. nicole   13 years ago

        And measure their effectiveness! So we can all put on effective puppet shows!

        1. 0x90   13 years ago

          * insert Big Bird reference here *

  45. Lord Humungus   13 years ago

    I've noticed signs of liberal desperation - at least on FB.

    One lesbian I know is going through her friends list and deleting anyone who did a 'Like' on Mitt Romney.

    In general - very little mention of the election at all - just some snarky jabs at Romney.

    1. John   13 years ago

      Shreek was on here this weekend linking to a site that allegedly had a million evangelicals who refused to vote for the demon Mormon. Yeah, they are getting really desperate.

      1. R C Dean   13 years ago

        I suspect that your truly wacko fundy probably believes Obama is a Muslim, and I can't believe they would vote for a Muslim over a Mormon.

        Maybe the christfags will just sit this one out. If so, I doubt that would change the outcome, as they tend to congregate (heh) in states where Romney doesn't need their votes to win.

        1. John   13 years ago

          Yeah. How many live in a compound snake handling fundementalists live in Ohio and Wisconsin? By next Monday MSNBC is going to look like a scene out of Hitler's bunker.

    2. sarcasmic   13 years ago

      One lesbian I know is going through her friends list and deleting anyone who did a 'Like' on Mitt Romney.

      She's just being tolerant by not tolerating intolerance!
      The more intolerance she refuses to tolerate, the more tolerant she is!

      1. Lord Humungus   13 years ago

        She's generally one of the nicest gals I know. And this is one reason why I hate politics - normally polite people can become raving team maniacs.

        1. sarcasmic   13 years ago

          But then if you decline to talk about politics, you're immediately accused of being on the politically incorrect side of the issue until you prove your innocence.

          For example someone in the office recently brought up the gay marriage question, and everyone (including myself) who politely said we'd rather not talk about it got a good ten minute verbal gang rape from those who did.

          That's tolerance in action.

          1. LTC(ret) John   13 years ago

            "a good ten minute verbal gang rape"

            I think we need to use that descriptor several times, over the next few weeks. Nicely done.

    3. tarran   13 years ago

      Keep in mind, the new FB post ranking system is also at work.

      If you keep hiding stuff with Romney or Obama in the text, I believe it stops putting them in your feed.

  46. 0x90   13 years ago

    Who knows, but imagine Obama getting beat by a cipher like Romney. Just let that sink in for a minute...

    1. John   13 years ago

      He is not really a cypher. Romney is just a boring mainline Republican of the type who would have been voting for Kennedy fifty years ago.

      1. Lord Humungus   13 years ago

        So the country is slowly tilting left. We now have a 'real' leftist competing against a 'moderate'.

        1. John   13 years ago

          Pretty much. In a sane world Romney would be the Democratic nominee and someone like Paul would be the Republican one. But the new left took over the Democratic party and drove people like Romney over to the Republican Party and this is what we get, full leftard versus old school Democrat.

          1. mad libertarian guy   13 years ago

            Yet it's the Republicans (and libertarians) who have turned the right in to the most extreme, fringe, out of the mainstream party ever.

      2. 0x90   13 years ago

        But when viewed in contrast with the image of His Magnificence, that is exactly what he is.

  47. The Late P Brooks   13 years ago

    Maybe the christfags will just sit this one out.

    They'll write in Santorum.

    1. sarcasmic   13 years ago

      He got Dave Mustaine's endorsement. How bad could he be?

    2. Troy muy grande boner   13 years ago

      Wouldn't that make the ballot sticky?

  48. John   13 years ago

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/edu.....ledge.html

    13 year old girls given birth control without parents' knowledge. Since someone under 18 can't consent to medical treatment, this is really just forced birth control. It is nothing but Progressives trying to forcibly implement population control of the poor.

    1. sarcasmic   13 years ago

      Looking at it another way, isn't it better to put sexually active kids on birth control than to perpetuate generational welfare?

      1. John   13 years ago

        I don't care. It is worse to violate the rights of parents.

        1. Whiterun Guard   13 years ago

          If they were decent and good parents, their kids wouldn't need birth control.

          1. sarcasmic   13 years ago

            I know your comment was a snark, but what is the kid supposed to do if they can't bring up the subject at home without their parents' heads exploding?

        2. Francisco d Anconia   13 years ago

          So do the kids have any rights, or do the parents own them? If they have some, which?

          1. John   13 years ago

            The kids' can't consent legally. Now if you want to lower the age of consent to 13, that is a different argument. But if a kid can't consent to sex or to a medical procedure, the kid can't consent to a birth control shot.

            1. Francisco d Anconia   13 years ago

              My wife was asking me about a MT ballot initiative that would require parental notification prior to abortion. (notification, not consent, so the following is a stretch)

              What say you? Do the parents have the right to tell the child no abortion even though the child is the one that will be stuck with the kid for the next 20 years

              1. robc   13 years ago

                I dont think there is a distinction between that and any other outpatient surgery.

                And the others require parental consent.

                1. Francisco d Anconia   13 years ago

                  Apparently there is nothing prohibiting it now or it wouldn't need to be an initiative.

                  LR-120

                  1. Francisco d Anconia   13 years ago

                    In MT, if you are a pregnant minor, you can consent to your own treatment.MINOR'S CONSENT TO MEDICAL TREATMENT

              2. John   13 years ago

                The parents can say the kid can't get a tattoo. The parents can say the kid can't get plastic surgery. There is nothing special about abortion. Either the kid is competent enough to make medical decisions or they are not.

          2. Brett L   13 years ago

            Children are wards of some guardian. While they do have some rights, mostly pertaining to their physical safety, exercise of any right that requires an adult responsibility (or liability should it be found they are acting beyond what is a right) is the province of their guardian. I'd further argue that any rights protecting them from state power should be exercised by default when their guardian is not available for consent, (strip searches in schools, for instance) but the Supreme Court disagrees with me.

    2. Brett L   13 years ago

      I might argue that the age of consent might be more correct, but I also believe in a single age of adulthood.

    3. R C Dean   13 years ago

      I hate to break it to you, but parents in the US have no right to consent to, or prohibit their minor children from receiving, birth control.

      Since birth control is a Constitutionally guaranteed right (according to SCOTUS), parents have no authority to prevent their li'l snowflakes from getting it.

      1. John   13 years ago

        So you are telling me a kid can't get life saving medical procedures without the consent of their parents but they can get birth control. Yeah, that makes sense.

        It is a consent issue. You can't say kids are adults and can get birth control but then cannot consent to sex or make medical decisions without their parents.

        Well, you can do that. But when you do you are saying that there is something special and important about birth control and that is just another way of saying you are engaging in forcible population control, which is my point.

        1. mad libertarian guy   13 years ago

          Funny that.

          13 year old girls: Able to consent to birth control, but no to the fucking which might make said birth control necessary.

          1. robc   13 years ago

            You would think the person giving her the birth control might be a wee bit concerned about the rape that is about to occur.

            1. Eduard van Haalen   13 years ago

              As long as they're keeping down the population of undesirables, they're doing the Lord's work, according to various Progs who believe in the Lord's work but not the Lord himself.

    4. Brett L   13 years ago

      The lawsuits should be pretty righteous in the next 20 years or so. Hormonal birth control has some rare but extremely nasty side effects that are going to generate class action suits by aggregate. Were I a doc, I wouldn't be jumping up and down to write that script to someone who had a pretty good claim that they couldn't understand what they were consenting to.

  49. The Late P Brooks   13 years ago

    In a sane world Romney would be the Democratic nominee

    We're all Rockefeller Republicans, now.

  50. Brett L   13 years ago

    Is someone going Galt?

    MOSCOW (AP) ? A vessel with a nine-person crew and 700 tons of gold ore onboard has gone missing in stormy seas off Russia's Pacific Coast.

    1. sarcasmic   13 years ago

      With ore? I doubt it.

    2. Fatty Bolger   13 years ago

      You just gave Clive Cussler his next book idea.

  51. Fatty Bolger   13 years ago

    National Geographic Presents: Situation Room Thunder: Obama Kills Osama

  52. Dunphy (the real one)   13 years ago

    "The National Geographic Channel defends its TV movie about the Navy SEALs raid on Osama bin Laden's compound, out November 4, and denied it was re-cut to make President Obama look better. No TV movie in the works on Benghazi yet."

    they can at least breathe a sigh of relief in that due to CITIZEN'S UNITED (y'know that evil pro 1st amendment court case that was supported by the ACLU), the govt. can't censor its tv movie, like they did with the documentary about hilary clinton that prompted the CU case in the first place.

  53. Entropy Void   13 years ago

    Woo Hoo!

    http://www.whogottherole.com/v.....president/

    1. Entropy Void   13 years ago

      ... or perhaps I should have said, "Shiny!"

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