A.M. Links: Benghazi Denials, Des Moines Register Endorses Mitt Romney, Hurricane Sandy Hitting East Coast

News from Benghazi to the Bundesbank


  • it's doom alone that counts

    The White House denied denying assistance to U.S. personnel in Benghazi, while the Secretary of Defense explained there wasn't a clear enough picture of what was happening to justify risking U.S. forces going in.

  • The Des Moines Register endorsed Mitt Romney, the first time the Iowa paper's endorsed a Republican since Richard Nixon.
  • The National Geographic Channel defends its TV movie about the Navy SEALs raid on Osama bin Laden's compound, out November 4, and denied it was re-cut to make President Obama look better. No TV movie in the works on Benghazi yet.
  • The Muslim holiday of Eid Al-Adha was marred by suicide bombings across Baghdad, the breakdown of the U.N-backed truce in Syria and an attack on a Catholic Church in Nigeria.
  • A Greek newspaper publisher who printed a list of wealthy Greeks that held Swiss bank accounts is facing prison time for violating data privacy laws.
  • German auditors want a physical check of gold the Bundesbank has stored abroad, including at the Federal Reserve in the U.S.
  • There's a storm coming to the East Coast, and it's already been blamed for a fall in early trading on the FTSE 100. 

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  1. Someone else take first today.

    1. And take away your reason for living?

      1. Green is such an unflattering color on you.

        1. No it’s not, it makes my belly look huge and really brings out the spots on my hands.

    2. I’m just happy to be here. It means power hasn’t gone out yet from Sandy.

      1. Get your looting rock ready.

        1. Oh, I live in the middle of nowhere up in the Catskills. 35mph winds for tonight, with gusts up to 65. I expect the power to go out, although I shouldn’t get it as bad as NYC or NJ.

          1. You’ll probably get a shitload of snow too and be cut of from civilization for a week.

            I get the impression that one of the problems with this storm is not so much intensity as size.

            It pretty much looks like this will take three to four days to pass completely, unlike the one to two days the average storm takes to pass over in the tropics and subtropics.

            1. Do you think Pat Robertson conjured Sandy up to suppress the Obama vote in the Liberal North East?

              1. Actually, it gives the media something to talk about other than Benghazi and the fact that Obama seems to be losing.

      2. Massive hurricane threatens to shut down New York city for 3 or 4 days, costing billions in lost business.

        So here is Bloomberg’s plan:

        Shut down the city a day early, making the loss 25-33 percent worse.

  2. …while the Secretary of Defense explained there wasn’t a clear enough picture of what was happening to justify risking U.S. forces going in.

    Apparently we need better drones.

    1. A lotta guys might say that the very lack of clarity *justified* risking U.S. forces going in.

      Of course, Libya’s a sovereign nation. Can’t be too careful about that.

    2. We also must need better CIA Agents with laser designators aimed at the mortars pounding our consulate into rubble.

      They need to start telling the truth or at least better lies.

  3. Madonna endorses Obama on stage to boos and walkouts.

    1. In Louisiana, where only racists live.

      1. racists can’t live in a chocolate city, can they?

        1. New Orleans isn’t in Louisiana! Louisiana is in the South.

          1. oh, you meant the other New Orleans.

            1. Yeah, the one that votes Democrat.

    2. Did she expect anyone to take her seriously, other than a few middle-aged gay men?

    3. Sure it wasn’t her music?

      1. Presumably the people were there for the music.

        1. That alone is fascinating.

          1. You mean his failure to grasp sarcasm?

  4. Kate Moss claims to have never used heroin nor been anorexic.
    Gotta sell the autobiography somehow.

    1. Hmm. She does make a convincing case.

    2. How does she expect to sell an autobiography which doesn’t have any heroin in it?

      1. PS – I’m not saying she did heroin, just that she should say she did.

      2. Wouldn’t including the heroin with the autobiography be a bit expensive?

        1. Ok maybe just the hardcover versions then.

    3. “Kate Moss: If I Did It”

  5. Oysters with herpes?

    1. They’re French oysters. Is it pronounced like Herm?s?

  6. Christina Hendricks says “Moooooooo!”

    1. Seems to me like she’s doing her best to cover them.

    2. WTF, she’s married to the snozberries kid from Super Troopers? There is no god.

      1. From his point of view, it’s evidence that there is.

  7. Jennifer Aniston shows off her cleavage while Florence Welch continues to look like a man.

  8. Woman claims TSA stole jewelery then deleted surveillance.
    Apparently they keep the footage for thirty days, which just so happens to be the amount of time it takes to go through the complaint process. How convenient.

    1. Man, that does work out pretty well for them. Serendipity!

    2. Procedures: Followed.

      1. Oh, there’s no double standard.

    3. Video under the control of the police is such a good way to hold the accountable.

    4. TSA has rules very similar to most police departments. If the video would exonerate their “officers”, it’s readily available. If the video would prove wrongdoing, it’s lost, or unavailable, or the video camera wasn’t working.

  9. The joys of socialised medicine, British style:

    Cystic Fibrosis sufferer is being refused a “chance of life” drug by the NHS despite the manufacturer offering it to her for free, it has emerged.


    1. but it will be different when we do it because our central planners are so much smarter than anyone else’s.

      1. Well they sure as shit wouldn’t be offering anything for free.

      2. Ours will truly be Top Men (excluding a few power bottoms).

    2. I know better, but please dont read the comments. Learn from the mistakes of others!

      1. No surprise that they bring out the lifespan argument.

        As if a lack of socialized medicine is to blame for America’s greater rates of obesity, car accidents, and gang related murders bringing down lifespan statistics.

        Irrational idiots are irrational.

        1. the real lesson here is that saying no is a necessary component of socialized systems. Their top men realize that money is not infinite, even if ours do not.

          1. Except for the part where the drug maker offered it for no cost.

            1. That’s just a capitalist trick. It’s like a heroin dealer giving the first taste for free. If that first patient gets better, then demand for the drug will take off. And then NHS will be too broke from curing Cystic Fibrosis to afford boob jobs and sex changes!

              1. As someone with a kid with CF, this is I hope not a vision of things to come here.

                Kalydeco has been nothing but amazing for the CF mutation, G551D, that it was designed to fix. If you don’t know, the cillia in CF lungs gets so weighted down with thick mucus that that it is very difficult to get anything out. So, this eventually causes scarring and doesn’t allow the body to get out all the bacteria that ends up in the lungs. So CF people routinely culture staph, MRSA, and all sorts of bad things. The correcter makes it so the body can process salt correctly, which thins out the mucus to normal levels. This allows people with the G551 gene to start getting lung function back, because the cillia can actually work. Bascially, NHS is giving her a death sentence by not allowing this.

                While my son doesn’t have that mutation, the company that makes the drug has found that using Kalydeco in conjuction with other correctors will help with his mutation also.

  10. Bloomberg’s Hurricane Boner

    He hard with excitement over the powers a disaster will give him over the populace.

    1. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Bloomberg Gracie wgah’nagl fhtagn!

    2. Good thing they aren’t zooming in on some woman’s tits, because that would be sexist.

      1. Almost got me to click!


  11. Joss Whedon made a funny, little anti-Romney ad. It’s liberal and douchey, but it’s innocent enough and I’m sure it’ll spawn a news, shortly-lived beloved series for fanboys to fawn over.

    1. No aggressive teenage girls beating up on Romney? Why would Whedon’s fanboys watch it, then?

      1. Maybe there’ll be more episodes. He didn’t start that channel just to load one video?

      2. “You know what would really make this pop? A 90-pound waif with martial arts and shooting skills!”

    2. The funny thing is, and he has noted it and hates it, but all of his heroes end up being basically libertarians.

      I think someone is lying to themselves.

      1. He got his jab at libertarians in the video too, or at least the Objectivists.

        1. Color me unsurprised that he’s too ignorant to pronounce Ayn Rand’s name properly.

          1. He can’t pronounce Alisa Rosenbaum? Poor guy…

      2. He admires and fears us, rob. He’s afraid he couldn’t hang in libertopia.

        1. As long as he keeps making the casting decisions he does, he’ll do okay.

    3. Lena Dunham should take note. That’s how you make a cutesy, but witty, political ad that exploits simplistic stereotypes about the other party.

    4. Mindless talking points from Whedon’s kitchen?

    5. Electing Romney will guarantee overpopulation. You’ve been warned.

      1. Electing Romney will guarantee overpopulation. You’ve been warned.

        Tell again how they are the “Party of the People?”

      2. Curses! Outbred again!

    6. I’ll bet he actually believes all that too.

    7. You know, now that I think of it. Because Whedon has such a big kick for writing strong female characters, I wonder how well he would do with an Atlas Shrugged adaptation?

      1. Dagne’s too old for him.

        1. If she was a vampire, she could be played by a much younger actress…

      2. Because Whedon has such a big kick for writing Kept Man fantasies of unrealistically powerful strong female characters

        That’s better.

    8. I’m not going to watch it; I want to continue to be able to enjoy his work.

  12. …and denied it was re-cut to make President Obama look better.

    That green screen scene with Obama digitally inserted leading the raid was in the original script. As was the noogie he gave the target.

    1. Did they tighten up his catchphrase after they got him?

      I think the original shoots were:

      “Osama bin Laden? More like Osama bin Deaden.”

      “Remember when I told you I’d kill you last, Osama? I bullshitted.”

        1. If you’ve got a terrorist organization? You didn’t build that.

  13. Terrorist’s family planning to sue British government for helping to kill him in CIA drone strike

    Al Qaeda planner, from Birmingham, played role in coordinating airline bomb plot

    Rashid Rauf’s family seeking a declaration by civil courts that intelligence sharing is unlawful


  14. Owl caught on camera picking off a domestic cat.
    Here kitty kitty! Who?

    1. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a domestic cat?

      Also, insert joke about hooters and pussy.

    2. Remember the story about the people upset when they found out that their cats were killing huge numbers of birds by putting the cameras on them?

      Yeah, this too.

      1. Turnabout is fair.

    3. They apparently didn’t post the photo of the disemboweled owl, taken five seconds later.

      1. Yeah. I’d take either of my cats v. a barred owl straight up. Of course, my cats are experienced killers. I suspect that if they ever decided to team up, they could take down a whitetail deer, no sweat.

        1. My parents had a cairn terrier (the breed that plays Toto in the Judy Garland Wizard of Oz) that would have tried chasing after deer if she weren’t always on a leash for her walks.

          One of the greatest small dogs I’ve known.

          1. I’ve got 5 westies. En masse, they’ll take a run at anything, and one or two of them don’t need the backup. They wouldn’t know what the fuck to do with a deer if they cornered it, but they’d damn sure give it their all to run one to ground.

            1. Got that on Youtube?

            2. They wouldn’t know what the fuck to do with a deer if they cornered it

              Start at the ankles and bite their way up.

    4. We had great horned owls in our neighborhood at a former residence.

      Those are some spooky birds. Huge, dead silent. Could easily pick off any cat, and most small dogs. They even gave my pits the willies.

    5. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost at least one cat to owls.

      1. Ditto. Though in our case a Great Horned Owl, which I think would take out most of the little kitties out there.

        1. Yeah, mine too. Those fuckers are huge.

      2. I’ve lost cats to coyotes, but not owls. To my knowledge anyway.

    6. Funny…and the owl is looking right at the camera, like it’s doing its version of Heismann pose or something…

  15. Who gives a shit about a Des Moines Register endorsement.

    1. Sage Rosenfels?

      Lara Flynn Boyle?

    2. If you look at the history of that paper’s endorsements, you’ll see it breaks a longstanding tradition.

      1. No it’s not. The last time a technocratic progressive-lite ex-Ma governor was in the final two, they endorsed him too. Remember Dukakis?

        1. Dukakis is so forgettable the only thing people remember about him is Jon Lovitz’s portrayal on SNL.

          1. I’d have guessed the only thing people remembered about Dukakis is this. (Safe for work.)

          2. No, people remember the cheesy grin while was driving the tank, and the dopey bunny suit while he visiting a semiconductor plant, and the dispassionate wonk-like analysis when discussing the appropriate criminal sanction for a violent attack on his wife.

    3. Liberals that live in Iowa perhaps.

    4. Hitler?

      Or are we not playing that game right now?

    5. agreed. I’ve never understood why anyone cares what a faceless editorial board thinks. And if you decide who to vote for based on a a paper’s endorsement, well, you deserve what you get I guess.

      1. The Obama campaign will definitely care when newspapers all over the midwest follow suit, as is already starting.

    6. I think it plays into the preference cascade against Obama. Its OK now to say you won’t vote for the black(ish) man.

      1. Is “mulatto” socially acceptable to use?

        1. Well, it is here, at least according to one commenter. But I’m reasonably sure HampersandR etiquitte is not dispositive of the rest of society. At least, that’s what my wife keeps telling me.

          1. we have our own little society here!

          2. I think they freed th ampersands now. Lemme check: &&&&

            1. Hmm. Let me check: H&R.

              1. Can I get a Hallelujah & an Amen?

              2. How about arrows?


                1. Nope, greater than signs are still verboten.

                  I get the problem with less than signs, as it starts a tag, but a unmatched greater than sign shouldnt cause any problems.

            2. Perhaps the squirrels have all they need for the winter & are going into hybernation.

        2. Is “mulatto” socially acceptable to use?

          Only if they are heroic…

          1. “In a sane and just world…”


      2. It’s a big deal in Iowa.

        The editorial board has always been leftish, but the newspaper gets great respect from the national news organizations for running even-handed campaign analysis particularly regarding the caucuses.

        So when the board goes against an incumbent democratic president, it really is a big deal.

        1. So they’re being consistent, by endorsing the leftist Romney.

  16. The Muslim holiday of Eid Al-Adha was marred by suicide bombings

    That’s kind of like saying the Christian holiday of Christmas was marred by the singing of carols.

    1. If I have to hear “Here We Come A-Wassailing” one more time….

    2. “Deck we now our suicide vests!”

    3. “Rudolph the Red Nosed Martyr”

      1. Rudolph’s red nose is not alcohol-related.

    4. We three kings of Orient are
      Blowing up our neighbourhood bar

      1. neighbourhood

        FOREIGNER! Git him!

    5. Allah rest ye merry infidels.

      1. Good Shiek el Maktoom looked out
        on Eid al-Adna
        Where jihadists roamed about
        Ululating fatwa.
        Brightly shown the desert sand
        on Mohammad’s fighters
        Representing Muslim Bros.
        And of course al-Quaeda

        1. Seconded

    6. Frosty the the Sandman
      Had a vest made out of bombs.
      And he’d walk their way as their kids would play
      And he’d blow up all their moms.

      Oh-oh, Frosty the Sandman
      was a jihadist they’d say.
      And some virgin chicks and a few with dicks
      would be his on Judgement Day.

      1. Boom-ity boom boom
        boom-ity boom boom
        Look at Frosty go.

        Boom-ity boom boom
        boom-ity boom boom
        Over dead bodies, ho.

        1. Combined with CN’s Wenceslas parody, and I declare this subthread an H?R Insta-Classic ?.

          1. Thirded! It’s “blastfamous”!

    7. “Eleven pipe-bombers pipe-bombing”

  17. and denied it was re-cut to make President Obama look better.

    In light of Paul Ryan’s recent pictorials, there had to have been an effort to re-cut Obama.

  18. Octomum acts all surprised. Or she’s so stupid she actually is surprised:

    ‘Nobody takes me seriously in job interviews because of all the negative things people say about “Octomom”, like calling me a benefits parasite.

    ‘I can’t get a normal job.


    1. Imagine you’re a company and some lady comes to you and says she has 8 kids, all multibirths. Do you (a) watch you profits for the year migrate to the insurance company or (b) tell her she’s not right for the job?

      1. (c) Release the hounds.

      2. First you ask her why there’s a film crew in your office. Then you ask her why she’s in your office. Then you call security.

        1. Careful.

          Care. Ful.

          Don’t want to come off as not being equal to woman’s status.

          Lest we raise the ire of the Dun-Hams!

          1. Why would Jeff Dunham get upset about that? Have you heard him ragging on his ex-wife since the divorce?

            1. He doesn’t count Stormy, his degree in Master’s of Puppetry was earned in The School of Hard Knocks, not some fancy-schmansy Ivy League school.

      3. It’s not even that. Imagine you’re a company and some lady comes to you and says she chose to have 14 kids as a single mother. What job do you have in your organisation that is so simple even a braindead muppet like her couldn’t fuck it up?

        1. There is a man with Downs Syndrome who works at the downtown Target cleaning scuff marks off the floor using a tennis ball on a long stick. I bet she could handle that. And I just want to say that I truly admire Target for hiring the DS guy. It provides income and socialization that he might not otherwise have.

      4. (c) Since this is an HR professional’s worst nightmare, from an EEOC POV, you simply accept the application, and say “We’ll call.” Remember, “We’ll call” is the equivalent of the non-apology-apology.

        Technically, an apology was issued, but not quite in the way as might be expected.

        “We have you application on file,” is another sure fire non-descriminatory-discriminatory, as equal opportunity to apply for a position has been satisfied.

    2. Those photos! Welcome to Hell.

      1. Nadya’s old house was destroyed by her children and was foreclosed

        Some kind of justice there.

  19. A Greek newspaper publisher who printed a list of wealthy Greeks that held Swiss bank accounts is facing prison time for violating data privacy laws.

    He needed WikiGreeks.

    1. When I finish groaning, I will admit that was funny.

    1. We. Are. Not. Amused.

    2. the feminists are pissed that men like boobs, yet every other DailyMail picture is of some woman showing her boobs. I can only imagine what teh comments say.

      1. Actually, there is a petition going around to ban Page 3 girls, using the facile argument “You don’t see naked women on the nightly news, do you?”

        In reality, the actual argument to be made is: “Why don’t see naked women on the nightly news?”

        The Naked News was ahead of its time in so many ways.

        1. If the women and gay guys want the equivalent Page 3 men, let them have at it.

          1. Page 4 Dong Parade

            1. That’s a good band name.

            2. After visiting your blog, I doubt they’d want to get into an IP fight with you, SF, if they also named it that.

    3. Anything that pisses off the Jezebel twats is cool with me.

    4. The best part is that it depends on a shitty translation. “Incentiva” is usually translated “encourage” not “make”. I’d translate it: “If we love, we should take care of them. Encourage women to get a breast screening.” But, of course, that would totally ruin the lynchpin on which the moral outrage hinges.

      1. How dare you accurately manslate the language of an oppressed people.

        1. Spanish is an oppressor language. Who better than I to teach them to speak it? They have more words for force than Eskimos have for snow, and this is on the lowest end of the spectrum. (Also, think of the neologism “incentivize”.)

          1. Brett, I genuinely feared for your safety as the end of the Cowboys game yesterday. Had Dez Bryant’s right hand been two inches to the left, I believe you would have gone on a multi-state killing spree.

            1. It was close, sloop. You definitely would’ve seen “man arrested for attempting to kneecap Eli”.

              1. Eli sucked pretty hard yesterday. Fortunately for him, Romo sucked so hard in one quarter that it ended up not mattering. I am impressed with your week, though I’m amazed that someone picked the Browns and got a point out of it.

                1. Yeah. That was my bet. Trust Romo to fail. Also, statistically, the Browns were likely to beat someone besides the Bengals, and who better than Phillip Rivers to make that happen?

                  1. THIS^^^^

          2. Spanish is an oppressor language.

            Did you know that in a group of both men and women, the masculine form is used?

            1. I think I’m going to be sick…

            2. Apparently (and disappointingly), in Spain at least, they are starting to use “el o ella” and even “ellos y ellas” instead of just using the masculine as the neutral. I guess they have been paying to o much attention to PC bullcrap to notice that their economy was about to crash.

      2. Brett L beat me to it.

        I have to wonder what kind of dishonest hack takes the word “incentiva” and translates it as “make”, like we’re all so stupid we think that’s accurate.

        1. You are familiar with Google translate, no?

    5. At least breast cancer awareness month is almost over. Now we can get back to admiring them without being reminded of lumpy cancer boobs.

    6. Well, men not named “sarcasmic” at least.

  20. Teachers scared shitless of losing jobs for being bad teachers!

    For teachers, the biggest fear is that a poor evaluation could lead to job loss. Under the new Colorado law, teachers can be rated highly effective, effective, partially effective or ineffective. Starting in the 2014-15 school year, anyone who receives an “ineffective” or “partially effective” rating for two consecutive years will be stripped of the state’s equivalent of tenure status, said Katy Anthes, the executive director of educator effectiveness at the state Education Department. To qualify for tenure, a new teacher must be rated at least “effective” for three consecutive years.

    During the St. Vrain training session, officials from the state Education Department sought to tamp down fears that the new evaluations were designed to weed out or shame underperforming teachers. “It is not about a ‘gotcha’ game,” Mike Gradoz, a consultant with the department, told the teachers and principals. “It is about elevating the game so you get better at what you already do.”

    1. But don’t worry: there are barely any bad teachers anyways, and subjecting teachers to evaluations could harm the good ones!

      During a break, Mr. Mehsling said the new system ? and the mandated consequences ? would indeed make it easier for principals to fire low-performing teachers. “The elephant in the room that we are dancing around is the fact that public education has not done a good job on our own dismissing ineffective teachers,” Mr. Mehsling said.

      But, he added, such teachers represented only 1 or 2 percent of those in classrooms. The new systems, he said, could subject the best teachers to onerous observation and bureaucracy so that principals could justify firing a few bad eggs. “It is taking a sledgehammer where an ice pick would have been effective,” he said.

      Teachers: below standards, above evaluation.

      1. This sounds awfully familiar to the arguments against citizen review boards for the police. “It’s just a few bad apples, and the good cops will have to have burdensome oversight!”

        1. Funny how that argument never seems to work when we are talking about regulation of non-pubsec citizens.

        2. I like how he’s pretending as if nearly all of those teachers won’t be given anything below “effective” two years in a row.

          And it’s not going to change much–in a tight economy, the younger teachers will still get released in preference to the older teachers.

      2. “It is taking a sledgehammer where an ice pick would have been effective,” he said.

        maybe the sledgehammer was brought in because no one was willing to use the icepick. And if you believe that the 98-99% of teachers presumably NOT classified as being very good, I have an oceanfront parcel in TN for you.

        1. But Tennessee is landlocked! Man you are just doing terrible on your geography today, wareagle.

          1. I must have had that 1-2% of the really bad teachers that even the union would be okay with firing.

            1. So you’re saying you could use some re-education?

              1. from the looks of this site, we all could.

                Nice chat spot you have; be a shame if anything happened to it.

              2. Re?ducation, thank you very much.

                Please try to co?perate in the future.

            2. THIS!

              I had 2 teachers that I would consider good (and I taught at both the high school and university level and have an idea of what good teaching is/is not) throughout 12 years of school, and both teachers were fucking band teachers.

              I had teachers who were drunk. A band teacher during my senior year who wouldn’t bother showing up for 1st period for days at a time WITHOUT INFORMING THE SCHOOL SO THAT WE COULD HAVE A SUBSTITUTE (and we still managed to get superior ratings in statewide competition by directing ourselves). Verbally abusive teachers. Physically abusive teachers. Teachers who absolutely didn’t give a fuck. Teachers who willfully interpreted boredom from not being challenged as “bad behavior”, offering punishment rather than encouraging students with more challenging work.

              And out of 13 years of forced schooling, I can’t count only 2 that I would gladly deal with again.

              1. And out of 13 years of forced schooling, I can’t count only 2 that I would gladly deal with again.

                And with this fucking grammar, it shows!

    2. Do these people not understand that in the real world, it is standard to link job performance with job retention?

      1. That’s mean and possibly racist.

        1. That’s mean evil and possibly definitely racist.


          You rat bagging tea fucker.

        2. “Possibly”? Report for retraining, stat.

      2. This fatally misunderstands the role of public schools in looking after those who cannot look after themselves in the real world: children until they’re 18, and teachers until they’re retirement age

        1. and teachers until they’re retirement age

          If only looking after teachers ended with their retirement.

        2. Just keep everyone in school forever under the watchful eye of teachers. Our country will be the most educated and highly successful in history!

        3. The age of the end of childhood is officially 26 now, IFH.

      3. “You’ve never worked in the private sector! They expect results!”

    3. It’s almost like teachers think that measurements of their performance are entirely subjective even random, and that education outcomes are beyond their individual control.

      But STFU and give em a raise because thy’re so important.

      1. I saw an Obama ad yesterday claiming that the key to getting the economy going strong was smaller class size.

        1. Didn’t work in FL. Or maybe our classes just aren’t small enough. Although, I don’t know any out of work teachers, so I’d say the teacher full employment project can’t grow the economy on its own.

          1. Is the student:teacher ratio 0 yet? Because that is the point at which class size is small enough.

            1. It is in the rubber rooms.

          2. According to the Education Industrial Complex, class sizes are NEVER small enough. We have the smallest class sizes in history. We have more teachers than ever. And yet educational outcomes haven’t improved one fucking bit in over 40 years of shrinking class sizes and spending unknown sums of money. But it’s still not enough.

            1. But education income is growing rapidly.

              And that’s what they care about.

        2. So everyone who’s unemployed and had an average class size over 20 has to repeat high school? Will the government pay a stipend?

      2. “You can’t measure our effectiveness, now give us your money!”

  21. German auditors want a physical check of gold the Bundesbank has stored abroad, including at the Federal Reserve in the U.S.

    How *dare* they! After all we’ve done for them!

    1. And after we saved their ass in WWII.

      1. Since no one in germany is a descendent of nazis (just ask them), we did.

      2. I thought we forgave them for bombing Pearl Harbor.

    2. Someone pointed out that audits will certainly confirm the gold holdings of the first one to ask for an audit, but you probably don’t want to be at the end of that line.

      1. Nah, everyone’s gets confirmed, they just count the same gold over and over.

        1. As long as all the auditors don’t show up at once, they’ll be fine.

        2. they just count the same gold over and over.

          Every bar has a unique ID number. The audit consists of matching the owner’s list of ID numbers to bars in the vault, and then (for the truly paranoid) testing the bars to make sure they are actually gold all the way through.

          1. If there is an audit, go long on aqua regia.

            1. +24ct plating

    3. Maybe they want that gold Clint Eastwood stole from them, with their own Tiger Tank.

    1. Incredibly disappointing. The Japanese have so much more potential for “potato parties”.

      1. This site is blocked for me. Can someone please to explain?

        1. They order a bunch of fries and eat them. Japanese people are pissed.

          No idea why.

          I swear that’s all there is.

    2. Isn’t starch bad for you?

      1. just the kind from french fries. The type found in white rice, apparently not so much.

    3. Only fries? What, no roiyaru motte chi-zu?!

    4. The best comment at the link is “Why isn’t this a thing in America?”

      Come on, local McDonald’s. Get on the case. Run a promotion where $1 buys you a supersized fries. Those pictures will be my lunch every day that week.

  22. For teachers, the biggest fear is that a poor evaluation could lead to job loss.

    Welcome to reality, parasites.

    1. Oh please, we’re still at least 2 generations from actually doing anything about it.

      But yeah, I guess making them cry a little now, even with no effectiveness, is a good thing.

  23. What a pathetic ballot Michael Moore had to sign. No wonder he thinks that the only alternative to Romney is Obama.

    1. Michael Moore ?@MMFlint: “Here I am, voting right now, hoping this helps stop the lunatics from completely taking over”

      Michael Moore ?@MMFlint: “Romney – you see this? This is me cooking your goose. In Michigan. Where the trees are used to make ballots to defeat u”

      So impotent.

      1. So what he’s saying is that if Romney wins Michigan the salty ham tears will rival those that will arise from a Brown victory in MA?

      2. Shouldn’t Moore be a Green Party voter?

        1. Good question.

        2. A vote for the green party is a vote for the rethuglicants, dontchaknow?

        3. Of all things that MM worships, power and authority are at the top of the list. Even if his moral compass dictated that he vote Green, his authority boner dictates that he vote Team BLUE.

          1. May I ask a favor? Please do NOT ever use the terms MM and boner in the same comment again!

            Thanks very much.

            1. You shouldn’t be afraid of your feelings, LTC.

              1. I am more afraid of the thought of that Fat Bastard wannabe waving around a woody for power.

            2. doesn’t it depend what the MM stands for? Mandy Moore? M&Ms;?

              1. I love Peanut M&Ms;. Almost enough to get a boner.

            3. It’s not like you’d be able to see it with his ample rollage covering it up anyways.

    2. Did Gary Johnson not get on the Michigan ballot?

      1. No, you have to write him in due to GOP shenanigans.

        1. I’m not even sure I care to watch the results the night of. I have a biochem exam that morning, and I’ll just find me a few episodes of MST3K to watch during the evening. And like the Sisyphean nightmare it is, everything will reset and restart like nothing ever changed.

          1. hah i have a biochem exam too, so lovely ain’t it

  24. “The Des Moines Register endorsed Mitt Romney, the first time the Iowa paper’s endorsed a Republican since Richard Nixon.”

    That doesn’t bode well.

    1. Last Friday’s front page on the Register looked like a Romney campaign ad. It was really shocking to see that from the Register.

    2. No it doesn’t. There’s already a bit of a snowball effect apparent.

      1. I have noticed this as well. John posted a well-reasoned argument from Slate yesterday, and I must admit, it is fairly compelling.

        My “Obama’s a lock stance,” has now been submitted for reevaluation.

        1. I think he eeks out OH, WI, and Penn by a couple thousand votes each, loses the popular vote, and gets another 4 years. Unfortunately.

          1. He won’t get Pennsylvania, and I doubt he wins Wisconsin. But the way things are breaking right now, if he gets the current ties, wins the toss-ups he’s ahead in and flips Ohio, he wins.

            Whether he wins the EC or not, I still think he wins the popular vote, which I’m hoping for with all my might just for the spectacle of the left suddenly discovering how valuable the EC is once more.

            1. They won’t. It’ll be Bush v Gore all over again.

              The only way for them to acknowledge the importance of the EC is for Obama to with the EC, but not the popular vote. Then they’ll be claiming how the EC is the savior of democracy.

        2. I repeat what I said here in early September – Romney wins big.

      2. I was referring to the Nixon part.

  25. The New York Times, dishonest as per usual.

    But conservative critics of the Pell Grant program contend that as government pours more money into higher education ? whether in grants or loans ? the law of supply and demand dictates that it contributes to price increases.

    “Could the colleges charge what they’re charging now in the absence of federal aid?” asked Neal McCluskey, an education analyst at the Cato Institute, a conservative policy research group. “The answer is no.”

    Because libertarians are TOTALLY conservatives!

    And hold their love of all things government, whether effective or not, up like a beacon of truth!

    Experts from across the political spectrum say expanding college enrollment is not enough, that both quality and price must be addressed. Mr. Obama has taken steps to curb rising prices and link federal assistance to performance.

    “We’re not just investing in the status quo; we’re investing in reform,” Mr. Duncan said.

    Experts say those attempts are limited, and may not work, but they go well beyond what other presidents have done.

    He hasn’t accomplished anything, but he sure knows how to spend a fuckload of money doing it!

    1. I figured out the higher education bubble 20 years ago when I was 18 and had to fill out financial aid forms.

      The politicians could figure it out too, but they don’t want to.

      1. There’s no incentive for them to.

    2. what “steps” exactly has POTUS taken to curb rising prices in an industry that is largely govt-run? And what authority would a president have over the costs of state institutions?

      1. They’re engaged in interstate commerce, and take federal money. The precedent has been set that he can tell them what to do all day long, and they’ll have to suck it up.

        1. and tuition keeps going up every year. Whatever he claims to be telling them is being ignored.

          1. Just because he’s telling us something when he pertrouserates doesn’t mean he’s telling the schools that officially, now does it?

  26. …the first time the Iowa paper’s endorsed a Republican since Richard Nixon.

    Well, we all know how well that worked out!

    1. Pretty well, as far as winning the election goes.

      1. Mr. Nixon took 49 states that year.

    2. Well he did win…

      1. and we didn’t get into new wars.

    3. Not snarky enough?

      Nixon won, liberty lost … kinda like with Romney.

      1. That’s presuming liberty is even in the running this year.

  27. the actual argument to be made is: “Why don’t see naked women on the nightly news?”

    Candy Crowley.

    1. What’s wrong with giving John something to watch?

    2. I’d be glued to the TV for Early Today, I’ll admit.

      1. But…but…but…


        The View


        1. I’d have to Elvis my TV.

      2. Is Naked News still around? It used to be a nightly webcast with some decently attractive Canadian birds who got their kit off as the show went on.

      3. Fox and Friends First. Not regular Fox and Friends

  28. There’s a storm coming to the East Coast, and it’s already been blamed for a fall in early trading on the FTSE 100.

    There’s 9 people in my immediate group at work, and only 3 of us aren’t working from home today. Also my morning gym class was canceled today (though I didn’t check my email in time). People seem to be getting way too worked up about this.

    1. it’s unscientific but there is a clear correlation between coverage of storms and where they are anticipated to hit.

      Hurricane bearing down on the Gulf Coast? Who cares; just a bunch of racist rednecks and white trash anyway. Storm looking at East Coast? Oh my god; it’ll make the storm of the century look like a misting.

      1. Actually, I think the clear trend is for greater and greater hysteria in coverage of storms of ever-decreasing severity.

        Regardless of geography.

        By 2020 I expect round-the-clock frenzied cable news coverage of May afternoon sun showers.

        Assuming cable news still exists in 2020, that is.

        1. There are at a minimum a dozen storms of the century every decade.

          1. We have had three “once in a century” weather events in the last three years in Washington (Snowmagedon, the Dashio last summer, and now this). Either the Gods are trying to tell us something or maybe the weather isn’t quite as predictable as they think.

            1. Say “100 year flood” to a National Guardsman from a Mississippi or Ohio River state and watch the eye rolling and scoffing begin.

            2. Either the Gods are trying to tell us something or maybe the weather isn’t quite as predictable as they think.

              Or, despite the scientific evidence telling us otherwise, they have to push forward the “cliMitt chanj iz cauzing massiv wether eventz wif MOAR FERKWENCY” meme. The media coverage is the setup for the argument that we must do something, which is the preface for more government programs.

              1. Every weather event that deviates from the norm is because of global warming.

          2. They have cover each one, on the chance that the last one was decidedly not the storm of the century…

            It would be poor form the allow them to be poor prognosticators, and allow them to keep their dignity and credibility.

            1. They could wind up like seismologists in Italy.

            2. I can’t believe they’re not calling it “Stormageddon”, like “Snowmageddon” and “Carmageddon”, and the original “Armageddon” (the prophesied battle, not the impending asteroid, which it turns out, can be deflected with paintballs.)

              1. I’ve heard a lot of “Frankenstorm”.

        2. And shutting down the city all week ahead of time, not just one day early.

          Just in case.

      2. How much is that related to the frequency of that type of storm hitting that area? A blizzard in Boston isn’t a big deal, but if 2 inches hits Dallas it fucks up the Super Bowl a week later.

        1. The Super Bowl never should have been in Jerry Jones’ stadium in the first place.

      3. What you say is true to some extent, but I think it is mostly because the gulf coast and Florida get big hurricanes every year. It is more of a news story when they get into the mid-Atlantic and North East. The hype is still ridiculous, though.

        1. Actually, we haven’t had one make landfall in 5 years in FL as a hurricane.

          1. Well, serious tropical weather systems, then.

    2. Ever since that loose barge busted open the levee in New Orleans, the entire country has been infected with a chronic case of Hurricane Hysteria.

  29. Remember that sorority girl with the misspelled sign mocking Obama?

    Turns out she’s an Obama supporter,and that was just her halloween costume.

    Seems that the young lass learned a valuable lesson in TEAM psychology…

    1. A libertarian in the making?

      “The party I’m a part of because I’m tolerant and I think that homosexuals should be able to get married – the group of people that I associate with – can be just as cruel as the people I disagree with,” she said.

      1. I hadn’t heard about this incident, but apparently it brought out a bunch of progressives who did not understand the human concept of humor.

    2. So a rich MA doucebag smears Alabamans as illiterate racist haters.

      When will the PC police knock on her door?

    3. And people said awful things. They said she should be raped. They said she should kill herself.


  30. I made a brief foray into the world of Morning Joke.

    1) Joe and Mika (sur-priiiise, sur-priiiiise) got an interview with the Ascended One. Judging by the look on her face, I’d say Mika’s panties were soaking wet. She asked him what he planned to do with his second-term mandate. Seriously.

    2) The idiot from Boston asked the governor of Virginia(?) if the police were going to be out there arresting everybody who dared to venture out to the beach in defiance of government orders to stay home.

    1. I dunno how it works elsewhere, but part of the deal with mandatory evac orders down here is that emergency response ain’t coming once the evacuation deadline hits. You can stay, but you’re on your own.

      1. Yep. Florida, too. Let Gaia takes the idiots she wants.

    2. I saw that too.

      Her first question was:

      “Why are the republicans making such a big deal about the Benghazi incident”

      1. I hate this woman. Also keep in mind the last name here. I think this type of thing runs in the family.

  31. That sounds like a pretty crazy plan to me dude. Wow.

  32. New Obama Slogan: They’ve Added An Exclamation Mark

    Previously, supporters of the president could wave banners and placards declaring, ‘Forward’ (see above). Now, with under ten days to go until election day, the signs read, ‘Forward!’

    This is sure to put him over the top.

    1. Silvio Berlusconi’s slogan was “Avanti” which is Italian for “Forward!”. Do the parallels end there?

      1. Oh please let there have been Bunga, Bunga parties in the white house! Please! The lulz of watching the flailing of the progressive feminists as they try to deal with it would be epic!

      2. If Obama had half the balls of Berlusconi (so, roughly 50), I’d probably get out and vote for him, if only for the lulz. One of my favorites came back in June, when Berlusconi floated the idea of the Italian mint printing at will. More recently, this weekend, there was a pretty awesome FAIL committed by a telegraph blogger.

        I guess my point is: if we have to have a thug, couldn’t we at least have one with style?

      3. “When the more stoic “Forward” slogan was first rolled out in April, some media outlets noted how the word had a historic link with socialism and Marxism. Predictably, this led to much hysterical screeching about how this obviously meant Obama was the new Chairman Mao or something.”

        No, not Mao, Il Duce. Not the obsession with trains, the upshot portraits of him at the podium with the stare to the horizon, the worshipful posters, etc.

    2. They should put it in all caps too. Then people will know he really means it.

    3. (I’ll get around the spam-filter with this:)


  33. Now, with under ten days to go until election day, the signs read, ‘Forward!’

    “Faster, Lemmings! FASTER!”

    1. Beat that horse harder. It’ll get up in a minute.

  34. Two days after the Libya terror attack, representatives of the FBI and National Counterterrorism Center gave Capitol Hill briefings in which they said the evidence supported an Al Qaeda or Al Qaeda-affiliated attack, Fox News has learned.

    Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/politic…..z2AhF7UhWZ

  35. OK, which one of you is this?

    Nothing like jogging shirtless, wearing a horse head, in a #frankenstorm?. pic.twitter.com/62GEPL6I

    1. Not me. I’d have worn a brightly colored speedo to contrast with my pasty white flab.

  36. Ooh- Perky Butt-shaking Girl on Bloomberg is jabbering excitedly about storm cleanup in NYC.

    Krugabe must be in ecstasy.

    1. Millions of broken windows. The entire state of New Jersey turned into a debris field. This is going to cause a boom!! A boom I tell you.

      1. The Gulf Coast experienced a boom after Katrina.

        Of course, thousands had to move to Houston or stay in mold-infected trailers.

        1. There was no mold in those FEMA trailers, the formaldehyde had killed it all! I walked into one of those trailers and the fumes were so strong I almost puked.

    2. Does the anchorwoman in grey always look that drunk?

      1. Yes.

  37. jogging shirtless, wearing a horse head

    I go out as a moth-eaten Minotaur, in the style of Time Bandits.

  38. Does the anchorwoman in grey always look that drunk?

    “Drunk? I’m not drunk! I’m perky!

    1. HD cameras are not kind.

      1. They are the florescent lighting of the digital photography world, Saccharin Man.

  39. Dicking over miniroities, one federal mandate at a time.

    When the Florida Board of Education voted this month to set different goals for student achievement in reading and math by race and ethnicity, among other guidelines, the move was widely criticized as discriminatory and harmful to blacks and Hispanics.

    But the state, which has been required to categorize achievement by racial, ethnic and other groups to the federal government for more than 10 years, intends to stand by its new strategic plan. Education officials say the targets, set for 2018, have been largely misunderstood.

    The end goal, they say, is that all students will be reading and doing math at grade level by 2023; the six-year goal is an interim step.

    The goals are calculated as part of a waiver granted by the federal government under its No Child Left Behind law. Florida is one of several states required to cut its achievement gap in half for all students by 2018, including those who are black, Hispanic, white, Asian, low-income, disabled or speak English as a second language.

    Need to cut the achievement gap? Just expect and demand less from minorities! Problem solved.

    Of course the pink elephant in the room is that teachers are livid over this (rightfully), yet they have NO PROBLEM WHATSOEVER with race based admissions standards.

    1. Just tell every minority kid that the system is totally against them and they shouldn’t even try to compete with the Asian and White kids. That will help things.

    2. Yeah. I’ve been enjoying the lulz of the people who have guaranteed that no action can be taken to fix the actual problem bitching about this. Stop supporting teachers unions and the myth that teaching is special, do everything possible to get parents involved and giving a shit, and this problem goes away. But no… then teachers couldn’t bitch about their lives.

  40. Fuckin’ 90 Days 90 Reasons keeps bringing it, this time with national service. That one made me throw up in my mouth a little, somehow seemed even worse than “I am voting for Barack Obama because I’ve seen The Wire” (yes, seriously).

    1. If you love national service join the military. But that is hard. These clowns want the federal government to pay them to do puppet shows for the poor.

      1. And measure their effectiveness! So we can all put on effective puppet shows!

        1. * insert Big Bird reference here *

  41. I’ve noticed signs of liberal desperation – at least on FB.

    One lesbian I know is going through her friends list and deleting anyone who did a ‘Like’ on Mitt Romney.

    In general – very little mention of the election at all – just some snarky jabs at Romney.

    1. Shreek was on here this weekend linking to a site that allegedly had a million evangelicals who refused to vote for the demon Mormon. Yeah, they are getting really desperate.

      1. I suspect that your truly wacko fundy probably believes Obama is a Muslim, and I can’t believe they would vote for a Muslim over a Mormon.

        Maybe the christfags will just sit this one out. If so, I doubt that would change the outcome, as they tend to congregate (heh) in states where Romney doesn’t need their votes to win.

        1. Yeah. How many live in a compound snake handling fundementalists live in Ohio and Wisconsin? By next Monday MSNBC is going to look like a scene out of Hitler’s bunker.

    2. One lesbian I know is going through her friends list and deleting anyone who did a ‘Like’ on Mitt Romney.

      She’s just being tolerant by not tolerating intolerance!
      The more intolerance she refuses to tolerate, the more tolerant she is!

      1. She’s generally one of the nicest gals I know. And this is one reason why I hate politics – normally polite people can become raving team maniacs.

        1. But then if you decline to talk about politics, you’re immediately accused of being on the politically incorrect side of the issue until you prove your innocence.

          For example someone in the office recently brought up the gay marriage question, and everyone (including myself) who politely said we’d rather not talk about it got a good ten minute verbal gang rape from those who did.

          That’s tolerance in action.

          1. “a good ten minute verbal gang rape”

            I think we need to use that descriptor several times, over the next few weeks. Nicely done.

    3. Keep in mind, the new FB post ranking system is also at work.

      If you keep hiding stuff with Romney or Obama in the text, I believe it stops putting them in your feed.

  42. Who knows, but imagine Obama getting beat by a cipher like Romney. Just let that sink in for a minute…

    1. He is not really a cypher. Romney is just a boring mainline Republican of the type who would have been voting for Kennedy fifty years ago.

      1. So the country is slowly tilting left. We now have a ‘real’ leftist competing against a ‘moderate’.

        1. Pretty much. In a sane world Romney would be the Democratic nominee and someone like Paul would be the Republican one. But the new left took over the Democratic party and drove people like Romney over to the Republican Party and this is what we get, full leftard versus old school Democrat.

          1. Yet it’s the Republicans (and libertarians) who have turned the right in to the most extreme, fringe, out of the mainstream party ever.

      2. But when viewed in contrast with the image of His Magnificence, that is exactly what he is.

  43. Maybe the christfags will just sit this one out.

    They’ll write in Santorum.

    1. He got Dave Mustaine’s endorsement. How bad could he be?

    2. Wouldn’t that make the ballot sticky?

  44. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/edu…..ledge.html

    13 year old girls given birth control without parents’ knowledge. Since someone under 18 can’t consent to medical treatment, this is really just forced birth control. It is nothing but Progressives trying to forcibly implement population control of the poor.

    1. Looking at it another way, isn’t it better to put sexually active kids on birth control than to perpetuate generational welfare?

      1. I don’t care. It is worse to violate the rights of parents.

        1. If they were decent and good parents, their kids wouldn’t need birth control.

          1. I know your comment was a snark, but what is the kid supposed to do if they can’t bring up the subject at home without their parents’ heads exploding?

        2. So do the kids have any rights, or do the parents own them? If they have some, which?

          1. The kids’ can’t consent legally. Now if you want to lower the age of consent to 13, that is a different argument. But if a kid can’t consent to sex or to a medical procedure, the kid can’t consent to a birth control shot.

            1. My wife was asking me about a MT ballot initiative that would require parental notification prior to abortion. (notification, not consent, so the following is a stretch)

              What say you? Do the parents have the right to tell the child no abortion even though the child is the one that will be stuck with the kid for the next 20 years

              1. I dont think there is a distinction between that and any other outpatient surgery.

                And the others require parental consent.

                1. Apparently there is nothing prohibiting it now or it wouldn’t need to be an initiative.


                  1. In MT, if you are a pregnant minor, you can consent to your own treatment.MINOR’S CONSENT TO MEDICAL TREATMENT

              2. The parents can say the kid can’t get a tattoo. The parents can say the kid can’t get plastic surgery. There is nothing special about abortion. Either the kid is competent enough to make medical decisions or they are not.

          2. Children are wards of some guardian. While they do have some rights, mostly pertaining to their physical safety, exercise of any right that requires an adult responsibility (or liability should it be found they are acting beyond what is a right) is the province of their guardian. I’d further argue that any rights protecting them from state power should be exercised by default when their guardian is not available for consent, (strip searches in schools, for instance) but the Supreme Court disagrees with me.

    2. I might argue that the age of consent might be more correct, but I also believe in a single age of adulthood.

    3. I hate to break it to you, but parents in the US have no right to consent to, or prohibit their minor children from receiving, birth control.

      Since birth control is a Constitutionally guaranteed right (according to SCOTUS), parents have no authority to prevent their li’l snowflakes from getting it.

      1. So you are telling me a kid can’t get life saving medical procedures without the consent of their parents but they can get birth control. Yeah, that makes sense.

        It is a consent issue. You can’t say kids are adults and can get birth control but then cannot consent to sex or make medical decisions without their parents.

        Well, you can do that. But when you do you are saying that there is something special and important about birth control and that is just another way of saying you are engaging in forcible population control, which is my point.

        1. Funny that.

          13 year old girls: Able to consent to birth control, but no to the fucking which might make said birth control necessary.

          1. You would think the person giving her the birth control might be a wee bit concerned about the rape that is about to occur.

            1. As long as they’re keeping down the population of undesirables, they’re doing the Lord’s work, according to various Progs who believe in the Lord’s work but not the Lord himself.

    4. The lawsuits should be pretty righteous in the next 20 years or so. Hormonal birth control has some rare but extremely nasty side effects that are going to generate class action suits by aggregate. Were I a doc, I wouldn’t be jumping up and down to write that script to someone who had a pretty good claim that they couldn’t understand what they were consenting to.

  45. In a sane world Romney would be the Democratic nominee

    We’re all Rockefeller Republicans, now.

  46. Is someone going Galt?

    MOSCOW (AP) ? A vessel with a nine-person crew and 700 tons of gold ore onboard has gone missing in stormy seas off Russia’s Pacific Coast.

    1. With ore? I doubt it.

    2. You just gave Clive Cussler his next book idea.

  47. “The National Geographic Channel defends its TV movie about the Navy SEALs raid on Osama bin Laden’s compound, out November 4, and denied it was re-cut to make President Obama look better. No TV movie in the works on Benghazi yet.”

    they can at least breathe a sigh of relief in that due to CITIZEN’S UNITED (y’know that evil pro 1st amendment court case that was supported by the ACLU), the govt. can’t censor its tv movie, like they did with the documentary about hilary clinton that prompted the CU case in the first place.

    1. … or perhaps I should have said, “Shiny!”

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