The first full night of speeches at the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Florida, has led to one striking conclusion:
Many American politicans had ancestors born in other countries.
From Nikki Haley's Indian parents through Ann Romney's folks, who followed the Lamanites directly from the Old Country, everybody talked up their immigrant forebears.
Maybe you caught the highlights on TV. Maybe you've already watched them all, riveted to your phone, tablet or smellevision. Maybe you didn't watch any of the speeches. Here are some of the first evening's all-stars:
Former first lady of Massachusetts Ann Romney works for the first day in her life, claims women sigh just a little bit louder than men. (A phenomenon I have often observed.) "It's the moms of this nation—single, married, widowed—who hold this country together," says Mitt Romney's wife.
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker gets a loud and sustained standing ovation, talks about somebody who got a new job in the Badger State, praises Romney for choosing "game changer" Paul Ryan as his running mate. "With this pick," Walker says, "he showed us that the 'R' next to his name doesn't just stand for Republican. It stands for reformer."
New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie almost forgets to mention Mitt Romney in what Reason's Peter Suderman calls a "Self-Centered, Platitudinous Speech" that highlights "the GOP's Vision Problem."
"Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan are dedicated to restoring the home where married moms and dads are the pillars of strong communities," says former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum.
"While the Obama administration borrows over $3 billion a day just to keep the lights on, Republican governors have closed $65 billion in budget shorfalls, without raising taxes," says Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell. "You didn't build that," the Obama campaign replies, highlighting the role of federal largess in Old Dominion's recovery. "It's hard to take Governor McDonnell's attacks on the president's policies seriously when he admitted recently that those same policies of cutting taxes for the middle class and small businesses, investing in infrastructure, and supporting education have helped strengthen Virginia's economy," Obama for America Virginia press secretary Marianne von Nordeck tells the Richmond Times-Dispatch.
South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley says the state is on its way to becoming America's number one tire producer, criticizes the Obama NLRB for trying to block Boeing's effort to move to the Palmetto State.
Beloved Cliffhanger star Janine Turner tries to find Colorado, says God (him again?) built America.
House Speaker John Boehner, "a regular guy with a big job," talks about his days bouncing lowlifes from a bar. "The American people are still asking 'where are the jobs,' but President Obama only offers excuses instead of answers," says Boehner. "His record is a shadow of his rhetoric. Yet he has the nerve to say that he's moving us forward, and the audacity to hope that we'll believe him."
Just can't get enough? There are plenty more.