A.M. Links: RNC Has a Theme, BoJo Endorses Gay Marriage, Todd Akin Pleas For Forgiveness, Thiel Unfriends Facebook


  • "We Built This" is to be the theme of the RNC convention. If by "This" they mean a vast military, the Department of Homeland Security, an expansion of the welfare state, and Gitmo, what's not to like?
  • Todd Akin is pleading for forgiveness in a new campaign ad after his comments on rape and pregnancy caused outcry. He has until the end of the day to heed the GOP leadership's recommendations and abort his campaign.
  • London Mayor Boris Johnson endorsed gay marriage saying he wants same-sex couples to enjoy the 'happy state' of marriage, something the once divorced adulterer would know a lot about. 
  • A rocket hit the plane of the U.S. Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Gen. Martin Dempsey in Afghanistan. Some minor injuries were reported. 
  • Ethiopian Prime Minister Meles Zenawi has died in Brussels after weeks of speculation about his health and whereabouts. 

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    1. FIST

    2. Worst movie ever made?


      1. Any list that says that Plan 9 from Outer Space is worse than White Chicks has no credibility with me.

        1. Plan 9 is a *great* film.

          Memorable quotes.

          1. Manos: The Hands of Fate. Hands down, worst movie ever.

            1. No way. Without it, there wouldn’t have been the MST3K episode on it.

              1. Always found it odd MST3K never riffed on Plan 9. Such a rich pile of derision material, all gone to waste.

        2. You people are retards.
          The Creeping Terror, hands down.

          1. That’s a horrible flick as well, CN, but Manos FTW.

      2. Batman and Robin? Nah. It’s got decent stroke potential with Alicia in her little Batgirl costume.

        1. Had they put the nipples on the Batgirl Suit instead of the Robin, I’d agree with you.

        2. It was pretty awful. I saw it in the theatre for some reason and was sort of embarrased for whoever made it (and for myself for sitting through it. I’d say it was certainly the worst I have seen in a theatre.

          1. Nah. I walked out of Pearl Harbor. On a date.

            1. Did he walk out with you?

      3. It’s definitely the gayest movie ever. Not that I expected anything different from Joel Schumacher.

  1. Newsflash! Christina Hendricks still has huge sagging tits!

    1. Man, do I wish I was Vince.

    2. Best gem from the comments: “It looks like she has lost some weight recently.”

      Not that her gradually getting bigger has to be particularly negative, mind you–some women still manage to look good even after putting on a substantial chunk of weight. But you’d have to be blind to think that she’s gotten smaller.

      1. Oh, and speaking of fat girls who were formerly skinny girls, the Jessica Simpson link is amusing in its own right:

        Jessica was spotted arriving at the gym today in her workout wear as she attempts to shift the 70 pounds she gained while pregnant as part of a multi-million dollar deal with the weight loss brand.

        Normally, a woman is supposed to gain about 25-50 pounds while pregnant, depending on how big they were before conception–and the latter number is only if they are actually underweight, because the baby needs more food. Jessica must have loved having the excuse she was always looking for to pig out on crap.

  2. Blinded by birdshit!

    1. That’s how you get MEGA-AIDS.

  3. Fight Club! 3 Delaware Daycare Employees Arrested For Encouraging Toddlers To Fight

    1. Theys gotta learm sumtime!

    2. Damn, I wanted to link that one.

    3. When I read the headline my initial thought was Crack Baby Basketball.

  4. Getting naked with monkeys!

    1. This is how we get AIDS!

    2. A university lab technician was arrested after he was found intoxicated with his pants down, surrounded by two monkeys who had been released from their cages.

      Oh come on, we’ve all been there!

    3. That’s when you know it’s time to move to Central America. No rep can recover from that.

      1. “Hey, monkey man, thrown any more parties in the lab? That one over there has been giving me the eye. What do you think of her?”

    4. Some people will do anything to be in a 3 way.

  5. Guns don’t kill people, bras do!

  6. Little Slaughterhouse On The Prarie!


  7. Megan Fox is still preggo!

    1. NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

    2. NOOOOOOOO!!!!

  8. First Lady serves ‘Cabbage Sloppy Joes’ and ‘Zucchini Fries’ to kids for state dinner

    nice way to carb the kids up.

    1. Next step: Diabetus.

      1. Next step: explosive diarrhea and cabbage farts, then diabeetus.

        1. I’d rather just skip to the ‘Beetus.

        2. My Grandmother used to make a dish with cabbage, beans, and bacon. It was de-lish, but man, look out!

    2. I’m trying to imagine the horror of a cabbage sloppy joe. Is that like a hot sauerkraut sandwich?

      1. “hot sauerkraut sandwich”

        Just walk away, SF. You are in control of your thoughts and actions. Just walk away.

        1. Is that one on Urban Dictionary?

          1. The closet that comes up. It’s fairly lame.

            Sauerkraut that bitch 8 up, 2 down
            Sau-er-kraut that bitch (v)

            1)A process in which an individual proceeds to tightly pack a woman’s vaginal cavity with sauerkraut, then eats it out of the vagina.

            Sometimes the sauerkraut is not eaten and other actions are taken, such as exiting the room and leaving the vagina filled with sauerkraut. This, and other certain visual aspects, lead toward alternate uses of the phrase.

            2) Packing the vagina with sauerkraut, then leaving.

            3) Covering or stuffing food with sauerkraut. This comes from the fact that a sandwich stuffed with copious amounts of sauerkraut and roast beef highly resembles a vagina after someone has ‘Sauerkrauted that bitch’. It is possible to ‘Sauerkraut that bitch’ with any type of food however, provided enough sauerkraut is available.

            4) A proposal to leave quickly. Originates from sprinting out of the room after filling a vagina with sauerkraut. It is interchangeable with other sayings such as let’s bounce or let’s roll.

            1. Why am I hungry for some ‘Kraut now?

            2. Sometimes the sauerkraut is not eaten and other actions are taken, such as exiting the room and leaving the vagina filled with sauerkraut.

              That was kind of a letdown.

            3. I assumed this was a hilarious riff made up on the fly by SF. Then I googled “Sauerkraut that bitch.”

              1. I mean, how did this become a thang?

                1. I’m sure it had something to do with the Germans, CN.

                  1. I’m always amused by the fact that youporn has a category called “German”.

                    1. I’m sure there is one labeled “Japanese” as well.

                    2. I’m sure there is one labeled “Japanese” as well.

                      There is a whole subsection of nothing but Japanese women masturbating in public bathrooms.

                    3. **Goes to Youporn**

                      **Life changed forever**

                    4. See you in six months Drax

                  2. “Dude, what the fuck is wrong with German people?”

                2. It didn’t. Plenty of fake entries make it into UD. In fact, I’ve put a few there myself.

                  1. Plenty of fake entries make it into UD.

                    Fuck, no! If you can’t trust the UD, who can you trust?

                    1. Whatever. In any case, “Sauerkraut that bitch” has now entered my personal lexicon.

                    2. Sauerkraut Sannich 3 up, 4 down
                      A rotten vagina.
                      I had me some sauerkraut sannich last night. My mouth still stinks. Can I borrow a toothbrush? And some antiseptic?

                3. Apparently many women prefer it to the sausage.

            4. So, it’s a stuffed bird then?

              1. +1

    3. thanks for highlighting this gross lack of self-awareness. God forbid youngsters should get any protein, which their bodies need for growth. Instead, carb load them so they begin their path to overweight right now. And at govt expense, too.

      1. Don’t forget fat. Nothing wrong with having some good fat in the system.

    4. I’m pretty sure it’s a vegan meal as well. Because vegan carbo-loading is just what children need.

      1. Kids can be loaded up on just about anything. What they need is, to be kicked out the back door and told to, “go fucking play, you fat little bastard”.

    5. IIRC, this is known as the North Korean Diet

        1. and what was the grass fed by?

          1. the blood of the worker?

          2. The Shining Light of Dear Leader’s face?

    6. “All the kids are winners,” stressed Michelle Obama’s Deputy Communications Director Semonti Stephens to the children that attended the dinner.

      [eye roll]

      1. Did they all get participation ribbons for eating that garbage? If so they got ripped off.

      2. Yeah, that stood out to me as well. Boo hoo, it’s just not fair if there are both winners and losers; the losers might get self-esteem issues and absolutely nothing is worse than that.

  9. Mitt Romney Paid 30%, Not 13% In Federal Income Taxes

    The second and most important reason is the majority of the Romneys’ income is taxed twice ? first at the corporate level, and a second time when they report it on their personal income tax return.

    Taxable interest income accounted for $3.3 million of their $21.7 million in total income. Since companies are able to reduce their income dollar for dollar with the interest they pay out, interest income is not taxed at the corporate level, but only once as personal income. In the case of the Romneys, it was taxed at 35%, the top marginal personal income tax rate.

    1. Oh yeah…double-taxation…now there’s a debate that the electorate will find intoxicating.

    2. Attempting to explain double taxation on investment income in a 30 second ad or a minute of a debate isn’t going to work and nobody that thinks Romney’s taxes are an issue is going to read Forbes. The only thing that matters is the $21.7 million that makes Romney “rich and out of touch with the American people”

      1. In the Alinksy model, why explain it? Just say, “Mitt Romney and millions of senior citizens and middle class Americans who rely on investment income pay taxes twice to this bloated Obama government! And now it wants more!”

      2. I disagree. It’s an easy ad.

        “First they taxed your income…now they want to tax it again because you invested or saved it. It’s not right. Taxes should be once and done.”

        1. “…invested or saved it.”

          Hardcore Lib: THOSE EVIL FUCKING BASTARDS!

        2. How can we have a growing economy if everybody isn’t out there spending more than they bring in? Huh? HUH?!!

          1. That is exactly the model we have been operating on for at least 20 years.

        3. Taxed when you earn it, spend it, save it, invest it or give it away.

          1. Or die and leave it in a will.

    1. Rio 2016 should make that a demonstration sport

    2. That water looks damn cold.

  10. “We Built This” is to be the theme of the RNC convention.

    Please let the Starship number be the theme song for their convention.

      1. You know that anything smaller than a Class 3 will make Floridians grudgingly retreat from flooding but otherwise go about their business, right? We’ll be here, whatever the pantywaists from out of state choose to do. Also, the nearshore weather patterns are unfavorable. Coastal rain every day for a month means no heat buildup in shallower nearshore waters.

        1. Get a load of Willard Scott over here. Tell us what the five-day looks like across the Great Plains and who’s celebrating their hundredth today.

          1. Get a load of Matt Lauer over here telling Willard Scott what to do.

          2. Willard Scott would know that hurricanes are categorized, not classed. Or maybe he wouldn’t. He did go to my alma mater, after all. We never had a strong science curriculum.

            1. Yeah. I caught that. Too much time watching storm chasers chase tornadoes.

        2. That’s pretty much how we do it in SC. Everyone knows that the storm will most likely swing out and hit the Outer Banks instead of make landfall in SC. Of course the ones that do hit us directly tend to wreak havoc.

          1. Hugo rings a bell.

            1. Hugo rang the bell, ripped it off the house and threw it 2 miles down the road.

        3. A class 3 really isn’t a problem here unless you’re going to get hit by the storm surge. So Galveston is fucked, but I’ve been saying this for years: don’t build things you want to keep on coastal barrier islands.

          1. A class 3 really isn’t a problem here

            Yeah, Houston only really gets fucked up by tropical storms that stall out over top of it.

            1. Yup. Allison was a bitch. On the other hand, it was great shopping for real estate right after. We just drove through neighborhoods and looked for carpet on the curb. If the house you were looking at didn’t flood during Allison, it wasn’t going to.

              1. During Allison I lived in a house that had completely flooded out in ’94 when the same thing happened. I’m not gonna lie and say I wasn’t nervous. But apparently they fixed the drainage in River Plantation between ’94 and Allison.

                1. Allison was kind of a wakeup call for Harric Count Flood Control. We did some plant expansion work about 3 years after and the District made us use 1/3 of the site as retention ponds. Basically, if it wasn’t paved or structure, it was retention pond.

                  It also led to one of my all time favorite comments ever. A guy I know was pumping water out of the basement of one of the research hospitals. I’m on the phone with him about generators and he says “Ooops. Gotta go, I just pumped a dead monkey.”

                    1. Count Floyd?

                  1. Was his name Coley Mitchell?

                  2. ‘Pumped a dead monkey’?

                    Does that have anything to do with the threesome thread above?

              2. Allison hit just a few weeks after I moved to Houston for my first job out of college. I got to drive home in the middle of it. Needless to say, I now laugh at people here in CO who freak the hell out over a little rain.

                Likewise, a couple of years ago when they got a slight dusting of snow in Houston and the whole city practically shut down, I laughed my ass off again. The only thing that would have made me happier would have to been on a business trip to Houston so I could drive around in it and laugh at people in person.

  11. London Mayor Boris Johnson endorsed gay marriage saying he wants same-sex couples to enjoy the ‘happy state’ of marriage

    The happy state of marriage must come from government recognition and benefits.

    1. The happy state of marriage must come from the land of Unicorns and cancer-curing farts.

      1. the ‘happy state’ of marriage

        Citation Needed

    2. …government recognition and benefits.

      Otherwise what’s the point?

  12. Obama campaign’s spending outpaces its fundraising

    Last month alone, Obama spent nearly $59 million through his main campaign account ? $10 million more than he raised, financial reports filed late Monday afternoon show. The cost of his campaign so far: more than $325 million, not counting spending by the the Democratic Party committees aiding his re-election.

    By contrast, President Bush had spent $205.4 million to retain the White House at this point in the 2004 election

    1. Not unlike his Administration.

      1. Exactly. We should be applauding the genuineness of his campaign.

      2. This surprises anyone?

        1. It probably surprises all those disingenuous bastards who think Obama and his crew were smart and could handle money better than Bush and his cabal of super-villains did.

          1. think = thought

            1. Present tense works too. There’s still a lot of people out there who still don’t seem to get this.

              1. Case in point.

          2. Well that’s just dumb. Everyone knows that super-villains are very good with money.

    2. Of course their response to this information would just be that “OMG Citizenz United of course he haz to spend more! The EVUL Republicans are outspending him and that is the only way to compete!!!”

  13. Gov. Deval Patrick’s New Health Law Is Flat-Out Dangerous

    Described as “immensely complex” by the Massachusetts Hospital Association, the core of the 349-page law aims to control the state’s mounting medical costs by indexing healthcare expenditures to the gross state product (GSP) ? that is, the state’s total economic output. Starting next year, healthcare spending will be allowed to grow no faster than GSP ? and between 2017 and 2022, no faster than a half percentage point below GSP.

    Insurers and large hospitals in Massachusetts will also have to pay $225 million in surcharges over four years, starting in 2013. The measure’s backers project savings of $200 billion over 15 years.

    1. it has apparently never dawned on anyone that costs inevitably go up when people are under the false illusion that everything is free. In other words, when $20 co-pays mask the actual value of services, you cannot be surprised that those services get used a lot.

      1. it thinks legitimate rape victims are treated “free” at the ER?

        1. Way to miss the point

      2. I have been trying to pound this idea home to my girlfriend who is a nurse. She chastises me for not having insurance while I point out that I choose not pay $800/yr for possibly two trips to the doctor’s office. Then of course there is the simple fact that I could maybe pay $20 a month for insurance against catastrophic damage and still pay out of pocket for those couple of visits. The idea is anathema to her.

        1. I have been trying to pound this idea home to my girlfriend

          Wow. That’s a novel form of argumentation

        2. Where are you seeing these $20 a month catastrophic insurance policies?

          1. Yeah, probably more like $100 or a bit more. And I don’t know how long you will be able to get policies like that under Obamacare.

        3. I have insurance but it is pretty much the equivalent of flushing $112 down the toilet every month.

          1. That’s how insurance is supposed to work, no? I do the same on my house and car insurance (knock on wood). Insurance is supposed to be for things that you want to avoid happening if possible.

    2. As far as I can tell – and maybe I don’t understand all the intricacies of the law – this appears to literally have come right out of the last stages of Atlas Shrugged, or the last 50 years of the western Roman Empire:

      All health care establishments are allowed to have total billings equal to their previous year’s total billings times (1 + the rate of increase of the GSP).

      This appears to literally mean that if you invent a cure for cancer, you can’t sell it, if it would increase your billings more than the rate of increase of the GSP.

      It also appears to mean that if you have a private medical practice and a new doctor wants to join the practice, he can’t, because he would bring over new patients that would add too much to your total billings.

      I’d like to be disabused of my perception here, but nothing I can find appears to make any of what we might think of as obvious exceptions to the new rule.

      1. I don’t think it applies to each individual doctor but to expenditures overall. So, if you bring in a new doctor, you will be okay, provided someone else loses an equal amount of business.

        It would seem to pretty much end the building of new hospitals or the expanding of the healthcare sector. Considering that the healthcare is one of the State’s proudest and most important industries, insane would be too modest of word for this. Imagine California putting a cap of tech spending and you have a pretty good analogy to this.

      2. Not exactly. A new cancer cure could bump a superfluous treatment off the list.

        Of course, the state has no business in medicine anyway but since they are they get to triage as they see fit. The MA goal is to limit costs.

        1. Death Panels on the way!

          1. The state has no business in medicine anyway, Sarah.

            1. You really believe that sockpuppet. That explains why you have been sucking Obama’s cock for four years.

              1. That explains why you have been sucking Obama’s cock

                So you’re saying he’s you and Obama is his Paul Ryan.

            2. The state has no business in medicine anyway

              Well except for Obamacare, medicare, medicaid, insurance regulations, fda, licensing providers, taxing the shit out of everything.

              Right Shrikey?

              1. Obamacare is private insurance mandated by the feds. I already pay for private insurance so I won’t be affected.

                The rest all predated Obama.

                1. And Obama worked so hard to eliminate them.,

                  Do you still promise to kill yourself when Obama loses in November? Please?

                2. if govt is mandating that you buy a product, then govt is part of the process. And, it’s tough to call it “private insurance” when a lot of public money is to be used in funding the program. That’s quite a knot you have tied yourself into.

                  1. Yes, making deadbeats buy insurance is anti-liberty.

                    We agree.

                    1. That is right dipshit. You elected Obama to make sure poor people pay more for their health care by being forced to buy insurance.

                      Do you realize how fucking stupid you sound? Do you even think before you mouth your talking points? Of course not you are fucking sock puppet.

                    2. Not just “deadbeats”, cocksucker – it forces EVERYONE to buy a government-approved product.

                      Fuck that shit.

                    3. No, it’s a tax.

                3. I already pay for private insurance so I won’t be affected.

                  First they came for the Gypsies, but I did nothing…

                4. Yes, making deadbeats buy insurance is anti-liberty.

                  LOL–you say this as if it’s middle-class white people who take advantage of those “free” ER visits.

                  In 2007 the Census Bureau reported that more than 14 million people without health insurance earned annual incomes of at least $50,000, with 7.2 million of them making over $75,000.

                  In December 2007, the Association of Health Insurance Plans issued a report showing that nationwide annual premiums for private health insurance policies averaged from $2,613 for individuals to $5,799 for families.


                  Why should a middle class family that makes between $50K and $75K be forced to pay for their healthcare with a health insurance plan that would cost up to 10% of their before-tax income, when the cash-based system we had 60 years ago provided first-class healthcare at affordable prices?

        2. The MA goal is to limit costs.

          because history is full of examples of how govt has done just that.

      3. It’s the anti-dog-eat-dog rule, in real life.

    3. There’s no enforcement. It sets those targets, but if the providers miss them they have to come up with a plan to eventually meet targets.

      The bigger deal is the law creates a new agency that will have the authority to break up hospital networks that are suspected of anti-competitive pricing.

      1. So the $500,000 fines I’m reading about don’t exist?

        1. they’re only fined if they fail to cooperate with the new agency. so you’d have to miss targets and not submit a corrective action plan to be subject to the fine. and you’d have to not act in good faith to meet the plan before fines are imposed.

          1. “(q) If the commission determines that a health care entity has: (i) willfully neglected to file a performance improvement plan with the commission within 45 days as required under subsection (d); (ii) failed to file an acceptable performance improvement plan in good faith with the commission; (iii) failed to implement the performance improvement plan in good faith; or (iv) knowingly failed to provide information required by this section to the commission or that knowingly falsifies the same, the commission may assess a civil penalty to the health care entity of not more than $500,000. The commission shall seek to promote compliance with this section and shall only impose a civil penalty as a last resort.”

      2. The bigger deal is the law creates a new agency that will have the authority to break up hospital networks that are suspected of anti-competitive pricing.

        Which could have been fixed by simply mandating that hospitals openly list the cost of their services, as opposed to setting up a whole new government agency. But I guess the former wouldn’t provide “jobs” for a bunch of low-information, tax-sucking social workers.

  14. McCaskill still polling behind Mr. Legitimate Rape. How fucking bad is your campaign when people look at that asshat and think, “Fuck it, he can’t be any worse.”

    1. My girlfriend brought this moron up last night, and observed how our current society seems to be full of these sort of people–well-educated types who should theoretically know better about life in general, not just on rape and pregnancy.

      I pointed out that when you cater your education system to the lowest common denominator, incidents like this are the inevitable result.

    2. You got to figure he picked some votes from the ‘LRL’ (Legitimate Rape League) and some of those fence sitters from the “It’s not ‘rape’-rape” contingent.

      1. And don’t forget STEVE SMITH.

  15. Study: Red states more charitable

    The eight states whose residents gave the highest share of their income ? Utah, Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee, South Carolina, Idaho, Arkansas and Georgia ? all backed McCain in 2008. Utah leads charitable giving, with 10.6 percent of income given.

    And the least generous states ? Wisconsin, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Vermont, Maine and New Hampshire ? were Obama supporters in the last presidential race. New Hampshire residents gave the least share of their income, the Chronicle stated, with 2.5 percent.

    1. Red states also lead in porn use, welfare, divorce, and are the least educated.

      1. Red states also lead in porn use…

        Say what you will about the other Red State specific issues, but I fail to see a problem with this one.

        1. I see porn as a net positive for society but conservative leaders sure SAY don’t.


          1. Most people who are angry about porn are old school feminists. Liberals hate porn more than conservatives.

            1. Wait, I thought it was “my body, my choice.”

              1. It’s only “my body, my choice” when it comes to homosexuality and abortion, Elf. Other than that, neither Team believes in self-ownership.

            2. Damn, you are fucking stupid. Anti-porners like the FRC and Focus on the Family are conservative and so are all the blue laws in Southern states. Then there was the Meese Commission. Current feminists are not even anti-porn (see Susan Block) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_Block

              Dr. Laura is on your team, asshole.

              1. poor old Kitty MacKinnon, officially non-current

              2. And all of the old school feminists who claim that porn leads to rape are on your team retard.

              3. I think I must have missed the announcement. When did Obama declare that “most” would mean the same thing as “all”?

              4. And Fred Phelps is on yours.

                1. I’m not sure who you are addressing or which side you are saying Phelps is on, so, just to be clear, Phelps is a democrat.

                  “Phelps has run in various Kansas Democratic Party primaries five times…”

                  “Phelps supported Al Gore in the 1988 Democratic Party presidential primary election.”

                  1. That was addressed to Azathoth!!

                    Also, I’m not sure why that link didn’t work. Here it as plain text:


      2. and they are still far more generous than pompous, self-righteous blue states who hold a healthy lead in handing out other people’s money.

        1. …handing out and fleecing at the point of the prison-rape gun…


      3. IOW only poor, uneducated, porn addicted redneck divorcees on wellfare are stupid enough to give away their money to charity instead of relying on the all caring benefiscent state to provide a safety net hammock? Is that what you’re trying to say? ‘Cause otherwise I don’t see the point of your comment.

      4. Red states also lead in porn use, welfare, divorce, and are the least educated.


    2. I’d be curious to see how much correlation there is between high tax states and low tax states wrt charitable giving. I suspect that in states where people are allowed to keep more of their money charitable giving is probably higher. States with lower taxes are more likely to be “red” states. Gee, now where did I leave my shocked face?

    3. This has been noted before. The reason is that red states give their churches more money.

  16. Peter Thiel knows a sinking ship when he sees one.

    1. How soon until Obama wants to bail out this “too big to fail” Facebook?

      1. Maybe they can trade their GM stock for some FB stock.

        1. Nah. But I believe there will be a new “GOV” ETF on the way, soon.

          1. My bad. There is already a “GOV” REIT. I guess they’ll have to name the nationalized business index “NBI”, or something.

      2. This is all teh excuse he needs to nationalize! That guy at Slate was a prophetic genius! What fools we were to have doubted!

  17. Porn group: Filming to halt during syphilis probe

    A pornography trade group has called for a nationwide filming moratorium while performers are tested for syphilis and Los Angeles County public health officials investigate a possible outbreak of the sexually transmitted disease.

    One performer has tested positive, and the performer’s sexual partners are being notified, according to Joanne Cachapero, a spokeswoman for the Free Speech Coalition.

    Steve Smith could not be reached for comment, even though the intrepid reporter combed the beard woods for an interview.

    1. OK, I must live a sheltered life but what sort of sexual practice is a syphilis probe?

      1. That’s actually just what they call it when a European royal has sex. I believe because so many of them were syphilitic for so long, that even today they still carry the reputation.

  18. Rosie O’Donnell posted on her blog on Monday that she suffered a heart attack last week and doctors had to insert a stent. O’Donnell said she suffered symptoms after helping an “enormous” woman to her car.


    It would be unkind to suggest the identity of the enormous woman

    1. In Rosie’s own words:
      here is what happened
      on tuesday morning
      while walking in a parking lot in nyack
      i heard a loud commanding voice

      “can u help me”

      more of a demand than request
      a challenge ? a plea
      i turned and saw an enormous woman
      struggling to get out of her car

      So, *out of*, not “to” her car. “Journalism” these days. ** rolls eyes ***

      Anyway, I unkindly suggest it was this woman.

      1. while walking in a parking lot in nyack
        i heard a loud commanding voice

        I’m pretty this is a Tyler Durden situation.

        1. +1 Jack’s complete lack of surprise.

  19. He has until the end of the day to … abort his campaign

    or suffer a miscarriage of justice.

    1. Perhaps give birth to a new career?

  20. Canada wants to build $13B refinery with 3000 permanent jobs. I guess $50K+ refining jobs are something Americans won’t do now, too.

    1. They should refine their tar slop there. Its cheaper than piping that heavy shit cross-continent.

    2. Why do ‘they’ always refer to jobs as permanent? Maybe full time, maybe good paying, but by now aren;t unions the only ones who think a job is permanent?

      1. In this case, it means that there are 6000 construction jobs, but 3000 full-time jobs when the refinery opens. So the differentiation is construction v. “permanent”.

      2. The idea of any job being permanent is anathema to innovation and progress. The whole point, at least in my mind, of advancing technology is to free people up for shit they’d rather be doing. The whole reason you work at an oil refinery is because it beats working on a wooden ship hunting whales for their oil.

        1. Fuck, shrike is stoopid.

          1. Yes…it is?

            1. “Tar slop” shows the stoopid, at least for the moment and on this topic. He brings the stoopid every time he posts.

              1. Oh well that goes without typing…as the time approaches infinity.

  21. Ethiopian Prime Minister Meles Zenawi has died in Brussels after weeks of speculation about his health and whereabouts.

    If you have to leave the country you’re leading to get health care, maybe your permanent departure is for the best.

  22. Vaginal Tightening Gel ’18 AGAIN’ Goes on Sale in India.


    1. I hear Octomom was hired to promote it.

      1. “Now only two men can cartwheel in and out as opposed to a baker’s dozen! It’s like I’m sixteen again!”

        1. Those gentlemen callers just wanted to make themselves pretty for you, sockpuppet.

        2. so you have a completely white pair of lips?

        3. It used to be something that was more reserved for those who worked in adult industries and entertainment, but today many everyday people are turning to anal whitening for a variety of reasons

          Does anyone care to suggest even one of those reasons?

          1. Who wants to look bad while mooning?

          2. I cannot come up with a reason to let anyone or anything with the word bleach in it near my asshole.

            Assholes are best when you don’t know you have one.

          3. What bride doesn’t want to look his best for down there for the honeymoon?

            1. Fifth base is very important in America nowadays.

          4. “The name’s Artemis. I got a bleached asshole!”

        4. Typically, whatever the general public has to say about a product can be a good guide to your anus bleaching needs.

          No way. HyR is the only reliable source for this sort of information.

        5. “Anus bleaching is becoming very popular among mainstream Americans.”

          [citation needed]

      1. The country who promoted Lysol first as douche can hardly point fingers.

        1. I’m the whole country now? I’m mean… I have a bit of a weight problem, but it’s not as bad as all that.

          1. Did I write “country”? I meant “county”.

            1. Cuntry.

    2. where are the before and after pictures?

  23. http://dailycaller.com/2012/08…..ism-video/

    Occupy Wall Street goes full retard.

    1. There was a time they weren’t?

      1. They used to try to at least hide it.

    2. Goes? They were that out of the gate. Hence, Stupefy.

      I’ve wondered whether someone would try to co-opt the largely aimless scam. It’s clearly being financed and supported by some element within the Democratic Party, which apparently believes that some sort of unrest helps their party, but without a clear mission, it seems to me that someone could push the “movement” towards a more tangible goal. Of course, communism would go over here–even now–like an SF-authored children’s book, so it figures that would happen with at least some of these morons.

      1. …an SF-authored children’s book…

        Bi-curious George?
        Are You There, God? It’s Me, Ron Jeremy?
        Pippi Longsucking?

        1. Little Hump on the Prairie?

        2. Yes, something along those lines.

        3. Are you there, STEVE SMITH? It’s me, Margaret.

        4. The Hard-on Brothers Mysteries

        5. James and Giant Penis

        6. Jumanjizz

        7. Heather has Two Donkeys

        8. One more Roald Dahl:

          Charlie and His Chocolate Factory

        9. Mrs. Frisbee and the Twats of Nymphomania

    3. “Progressive labor is a revolutionary communist organization,” Golash said during an Occupy DC “People’s Assembly” on August 19.

      No shit. Shocked face.

  24. Steve Landsburg puts it better than I could have here.

    Which is to say, I expect that Akin is wrong on the particulars, but the female body does have an influence on conception. I don’t expect it to break along neat monogamous/rape lines, hence Akin being wrong. (also see the first link of yesterdays 400+ comment thread)

    Is it too much to ask when you are arguing against a scientific point (even one as badly stated as Akin’s) that you at least make an attempt to add some research to the rebuttal?

    1. I loved him in Barney Miller.

    2. Not a biologist, myself, but my understanding of rape as a means of conquering people, comes from a few trips to Mexico, and, uh, looking around.

    3. anomdebus, please, when a Hate Orgy is going on, you don’t interrupt the ecstasy to ask if it’s a good idea.

    4. Some statements are dumb enough to dismiss out of hand. I think that Akin’s was one of those.

  25. Peter Thiel, the angel investor of Facebook, sold a majority of his stake in the social media giant.

    I hope the government bought it.

  26. There’s just so much wrong with this story, I don’t know where to begin.

    Maybe we can start with them beating on the guy who screams, “I surrender” and then High-fiving afterward.

    Or maybe it’s when they enter a house without a warrant or probable cause and taze the man inside.

    Or maybe it’s the case being assigned to the APD IA Division, and one single charge of misdemeanor battery and two offices being placed on “administrative duty.”

    Fucking pigs.

    1. All for marijuana possession

    2. The chief then criticized Holland and other reporters in the room, saying reporters should call his office if they receive information that APD officers may have committed a crime.

      That would be a better course, Schultz said, than “trying to hide behind the open records act ? and say: ‘We gotcha.’

      Hide behind the open records act? Why not stop covering up this sort of behavior and there won’t have to be any ‘gotchas’.

      1. All investigations are to be done internally in closed-door sessions to ensure accountability.

        /Police Chief Shithead

        1. Stop hiding behind transparency!

  27. http://www.reuters.com/article…..2920120812

    I find this lawsuit endless entertaining. But it is also a pretty sorry statement on the men involved. These guys are tenured federal employees. They cannot be fired. And is it that hard to humiliate a woman?

    1. Sexual harassment in that department could have been way worse for them if Sis was, you know, no homo.

      1. Is it really that hard to deal with a woman who wants to get into a dirty talking contest? Really Miss? You would like me to do what with my cock? Well, lets just talk about that a bit. Some broad ever said that to me, I would turn her so red people would think she was sun burned.

  28. Best caption EVAR.

    1. always good to see that pic of him doing his debauched Mr Bojangles act

  29. Police officer lies on arrest report.
    Taxpayers forced to pay settlement.
    Nothing else happens.

  30. The Atlantic’s Matthew O’Brian calls Nial Ferguson a big meany.


    1. I guess The Atlantic are the last people on Earth still reading Newsweek.

    2. It’s sad that the Atlantic has become such a swamp of Obama propaganda.

      1. It is terrible. And it is not even interesting. Basically, O’Brian argues that Obama should get a pass for doing nothing about the deficit since Congress refused to pass Simpson Bowles, a plan Obama never supported.

        1. I find that fascinating – a pro-Obama writer who, by all rights, should know that POTUS appointed and subsequently ignored the panel, yet the writer marches on as though that is not true. As a bonus, he counts on reader buy-in to advance the narrative.

          It’s why I keep saying liberalism can only survive with a massively uninformed population.

          1. His audience are people like Tony and Shreek who will believe or repeat anything.

      2. See also: Time. Not like they were great before, but it’s basically just turned into an unofficial DNC newsletter.

  31. So, there’s this TNT show called Perception, and it has Levar Burton as a Dean of a College of Neuroscience. And whenever he is on screen, I can’t help but make the joke, “And the Distinguished Professor of Reading…”

    (Filed Under: Reasons it is good I live alone)

    1. Fuck. I finally read this comment. Now I have the goddam song stuck in my head. I hope you encounter STEVE SMITH.

    2. My wife and I were making jokes about that last night as we were getting caught up on the DVR’ed episodes of the show. Which incidentially is actually pretty good if a bit formulaic

  32. Note to all police officers: Don’t move to Pensacola, Florida. You might not have as much fun as you do in other departments.

    1. the incident was found through a routine supervisory review of the videotape and was not the result of a complaint.

      I’m shocked. Seriously. No sarcasm. I’m shocked.

      1. Guys, based on my experience with cops in several towns here in MA, there are good police departments and there are bad ones.

        My town, for example, have guys who are pretty good and see themselves as peace officers.

        Two towns over, the police are a dangerous street gang that are to be avoided at all costs.

        Go two towns over the other way, and you have a “Respect ma ahtorite” group that cares only about maintaining a semblance of order.

  33. I think we just saw this election cycle’s “I’m not a witch” ad. If a candidate actually has to release an ad clarifying that they’re not in favor of rape, they should probably just give up.

    1. I think if you are too stupid to tap dance around the abortion rape question, you are probably too stupid to hold any kind of public office.

      1. The funny thing is, he probably thought he was being very clever.

        1. Part of being stupid is not knowing it.

  34. I’ve had to recreate my iTunes library and reimport the playlists, and of course iTunes fucks up and inserts wrong songs. This has a touch of genius about it, however


    1. I think iTunes was desperately trying to reject that data.

    2. Fucking iTunes has been truncating some of my songs lately. If I copy them to my desktop, delete them from iTunes, then add them back, they work fine so it isn’t the song file itself. It’s kinda starting to piss me off.

  35. Tony Scott, Dead At 68; Women Affected Most By Passing

    Yes, Scott made lots of movies about tough men and the women they fall for. But other action directors could take a note from him in remembering that women can tote a gun as the lead rather than simply as a love interest, and that love interests have priorities and principles of their own.

    1. World to end tomorrow…

      They really do their best to live up to the stereotype don’t they?

      1. It’s a lot of hard work that goes into being that irrelevant.

    2. Oh yeah, when I watched the director’s cut of True Romance with the extended motel scene fight between Patricia Arquette and James Gandolfini, I was thinking the whole time, “man, this was written and directed by men who truly love women.”

      1. I forgot about that fucking awesome movie. This must be rectified! TO AMAZON!!!!

      2. Tarantino and Scott have the nerd’s bipolar view of women–Dulcinea types who they can white-knight and put on a pedestal until those same women fail to live up to the nerd’s completely unrealistic standards of behavior and devotion, after which they become worthless whores to be completely scorned.

        1. How many people can critique Tarantino with Cervantes? Well played.

  36. http://www.abc15.com//dpp/news…..ummer-heat

    PHOENIX – The City of Phoenix could face a lawsuit if the city doesn’t apologize to a Valley woman for telling her she could not hand out free bottled water to people in the summer heat.

    Dana Crow-Smith said a City of Phoenix worker came up to her during the First Friday festival in downtown Phoenix last month and told her she was violating city code by handing out free water because she did not have a permit.

    1. What was the concern? She might have been handing out poison or something? Like the razor-bladed Halloween apples that never happened?

      1. undercutting local restaurants?

        1. Restaurants that have to give free water to their patrons anyway?

          Interesting Side Note: In China, you have to pay for water at most restaurants.

          1. In China you had better be paying for water in restaurants, otherwise you’re not drinking bottled water – bad idea.

            1. They usually boil it. If you demand cold water, they are like “Whelp, they’re your bowels buddy.”

              1. It’s that “usually” part that is the rub.

      2. The concern was that a private citizen was charitably donating her time and resources. If people started doing that en masse, the city’s monopoly on providing services to the needy might be questioned.

        Those city workers have families to support, Drax. Why do you want their children to starve just so a bunch of homeless people can stay hydrated when it’s 115 degrees?

        1. Maybe it’s because I actually do want them to starve. Occam’s Razor, Bitch!

    2. so there might be a lawsuit if there is no apology? Sure, that makes sense. Compound public sector stupidity by sticking the taxpayer with one more expense. Let the media shame govt; that should be enough. Goddamn; people and their incessant desire to sue someone over everything.

      1. Suing is easier than working. So is voting.

      2. Let the media shame govt

        You mean when they don’t have the govt’s cock tickling their tonsuls, right?

  37. Makes ya proud, don’t it?

    Did Gibson acquiesce in this settlement solely to end the expense, distraction, danger and agony of a federal criminal prosecution?the usual reasons for shouting “uncle” to Uncle Sam? We will never know. Why? Because federal prosecutors required, as part of the “criminal enforcement agreement,” that Gibson not only “accept[s] and acknowledge[s] responsibility for the conduct” alleged, but also that the company’s “public statements regarding this Agreement will not contradict the statement of facts” set forth in an appendix to the settlement agreement.

    Put another way, Gibson is now forbidden to tell the world the whole truth about its conduct and its reasons for settling a case it previously claimed publicly, including in an opinion piece in this newspaper, involved no criminal conduct on its part. In exchange for agreeing to read the government’s script, Gibson regained its ability to conduct business without a federal sword of Damocles dangling over its corporate head.

    Torquemada, updated.

    “I repent me of my sins, and beg the forgiveness of the Church.”

    1. Interesting bit about FBI interviews in there:

      The FBI has a formal, binding policy that forbids its agents from conducting witness or target interviews with the aid of electronic recording…

      Instead, one federal agent does the questioning while the other takes notes. Those notes, once typed up in a “Form 302 report,” become the official version of what the interviewee said. A witness deviating from that version risks up to five years imprisonment for making a false statement to a federal official, even if the statement was not made under oath. In this way, it is the FBI agent, not the witness, who controls the witness’s official story.

      Remind me never to talk to the FBI, ever.

      1. No kidding. That is fucked up.

      2. I’m sure there is nothing nefarious about this. After all, audio recorders are so bulky and expensive, you couldn’t expect an agent to carry one around all the time.

        1. To be fair, the government is often decades behind in technology.

      3. So the witness doesn’t even get to sign off on what was written in the report? Fuck that shit, I’m with Han Solo over here.

      4. my answers would be: “I want a lawyer”, repeated endlessly until they get annoyed and leave the room.

      5. That sounds to me like a 5th Amendment issue. They are denying a defendant the opportunity to review evidence underlying the prosecution by prohibiting recording of witness interviews.

        1. The quotation doesn’t say that recording aids are off-limits to the person being interviewed, just that the FBI aren’t allowed to use them.

  38. You would think that after suffering a massacre Sikhs would be the first to understand the mainstream media wisdom that guns are bad, personal ownership is dangerous and only the professional agents of the state should have them because your safety is their highest priority and even there they know better than you. Some people just can’t be taught!


    I am a certified handgun instructor at a small firearms supply store in the Milwaukee area. I work as the on site instructor conducting classes and evaluations for new members. About a week ago, I was conducting a class and one of the employees from the store politely interrupted my class, took me aside and mentioned to me that a “representative from the Sikh Church in Oak Creek is here to speak with an instructor.” I was a little nervous and wasn’t quite sure what to expect, as the vicious attack on their church had happened so recently and had seemed to have such a devastating effect on their congregation.

    1. A heart warming story on HyR.

      Well, I’ll be damned.

  39. http://www.rollcall.com/news/L…..os=htmbtxt

    Congressman feed at various Washington troughs with big donors. Check out the guy in the picture. Representative Billy Long has clearly not missed many meals and has never mixed in a salad.

    1. I like Charlie Palmer and Hill Country too. but damn hit the Hill gym once in awhile.

      1. I have been meaning to try Hill Country. Having lived in central Texas, I am a total snob about that stuff. So I am a bit skeptical. I really like Carmine’s across the street though.

        1. I like it better than Capital Q up on H, which unfortunately closed a few weeks ago. Haven’t been to carmine’s but have heard good things.

      2. Any good NC BBQ recommendations? Rocklands doesn’t do it for me.

        1. http://www.carolinabrothers.com/

          haven’t been myself b/c it’s in ashburn. but i’ve heard it’s really good. FWIW.

          1. Ashburn?!?! Fuckin-a. Well, next time I’m out Dulles-way, I’ll see about popping in. But shit, man, if I’m gonna go all the way to Ashburn, I might as well just keep going til I get to North Carolina.

            1. Carolina barbecue. Aaaaaah! I did a bbq tour through the Greenville – Goldsboro area earlier this summer. Heaven.
              B’s in Greenville. Skyline Inn in Ayden. Grady’s in Dudley.

              I repeat myself: Aaaaaaah!

            2. I’m an Ashburn resident who has been to Carolina Brothers a couple of times. I was unimpressed. Save yourself the trip.

              My mom, a NC-native, tells me that there’s a place on Route 1 near Mount Vernon that has excellent and authentic NC BBQ. I have not tried it yet, but my mom knows her stuff, so I trust her judgement.


              If you want “Alabama BBQ” that is super excellent go to Dixie Bones in Woodbridge. It is widely considered the best BBQ of any type in the DC region.

              1. Thanks. Will have to try that.

              2. That’s right by my house (and on my way to Tubby’s Chili Parlor). I’ve noted it as a place to check out in the future because small shacks always have the best BBQ. Now I’ll move it on up the list of places to try!

  40. Todd Akin is pleading for forgiveness in a new campaign ad after his comments on rape and pregnancy caused outcry.

    Somethin like this?

  41. Kickstarter’s Project of the Day is one for sloopyinca: “Super tasty, super spicy, preservative-free artisan hot sauces.”


    1. I make my own hot sauce, does that make me an artisan?

      1. Where’s your permits, RBS? And are you paying enough taxes to make up for the hot sauce you’re NOT buying from the store?

        1. /snark

          BTW, you didn’t make that hot sauce. Someone else made it for you.

      2. If you’re not making it on a rooftop in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, you’re not an artisan.

        1. It’s Red Hook now. That’s where the true hipsters have gone off too.

    2. How fucking hard is it to make vegan friendly hot sauce? That’s like making vegan friendly pico de gallo. Fuck these douches and their buzzword sales pitch.

    3. Salt and vinegar aren’t preservatives?

      I think it is great that people are into making good, quality food items in traditional ways. Those types of things are often the best tasting food. But the idiotic language that so many such producers have adopted is pretty annoying.

    4. About half the damn Food category on Kickstarter is frikkin’ hot sauce.

      Seriously, dudes. We are not exactly desperately short of hot sauce options. You want to fill an artisanal need, go mayo.

      1. Urban Honey flavored artisanal mayo.

      2. A lot of people seem to get really worked up by stupid Kickstarters, which I personally don’t understand, as it’s quite literally one of those problems you can simply ignore and it will go away.

  42. For a politician, this is pure balls:


    “Even taken at its worst, if the allegations made by these two women were true, 100 per cent true, and even if a camera in the room captured them, they don’t constitute rape,” Mr Galloway reportedly said. “At least not rape as anyone with any sense can possibly recognise it. And somebody has to say this.

    “Woman A met Julian Assange, invited him back to her flat, gave him dinner, went to bed with him, had consensual sex with him, claims that she woke up to him having sex with her again. This is something which can happen, you know. I mean, not everybody needs to be asked prior to each insertion.”

    Apoplexy is imminent… this guy’s in Australia so maybe it’ll take a few days to reach our shores.

    1. It’s unbelievable, isn’t it.

      A small correction: he’s not in Australia, he’s in the UK. The report is actually taken from the New York Times

    2. Podcast partially transcribed…

      It might be really bad manners not to have tapped her on the shoulder and said, “do you mind if I do it again?”. It might be really sordid and bad sexual etiquette, but whatever else it is, it is not rape or you bankrupt the term rape of all meaning.


      And correction: he’s British, not Australian. My bad.

    3. Eh. You can count on George Galloway to take the stupidest path to an issue, even on the rare occasion that I almost agree with him.

      And screwing a one night stand while she’s asleep is pretty creepy. Its one thing to have rollover sex with your live in, but the first night calls for a bit more courtesy.

    4. I mean, not everybody needs to be asked prior to each insertion.

      I know this is supposed to be the money quote (excuse the pun) but it’s not actually that shocking a statement.

      Do you have to re-establish consent every time you switch positions?

      In a narrow enough time frame, it’s not really possible to establish when one sex act ends and another begins. It’s pretty much all one extended act of “fucking with occasional breaks”. Once consent is extended it should default to lasting until withdrawn.

      1. After all, think of it this way:

        If I run up to a girl on the street right now and grab her in the spoon position, it’s a sexual assault.

        But if we have consensual sex and fall asleep and we wake up in the spoon position, it’s not a sexual assault.

        Why not?

        Because claiming that the “chain of consent” broke when we fell asleep and has to be re-established when we wake up is fucking stupid, that’s why not.

  43. lol, that pompous windbag just looks corrupt as the day is long lol.


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