Gay/Lesbian Issues

Well, At Least It's Not Aqua-Man: DC Reveals Which of its Heroes is Gay!

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After teasing all 50 readers left who actually care about DC Comics for what seemed to be 1,000 years (in a red-sun galaxy at least), the geniuses behind such third-rate underwear models as Matter-Eater Lad and Animal Man have finally revealed which of their new lineup of planet-savers will fulfill the secret fantasies of Mr. Ropers the world over by being an out-of-the-closet gay man.

The honor goes to the Green Lantern. Not the hunky GL recently portrayed by what's his name, the guy who played Sandra Bullock's beard in that movie where she was a tough-as-nails business gal from Canada who needed a green card to stay in the country. The old Green Lantern whose costume looked like something Cyndi Lauper threw up after eating breakfast with Lou Albano on the set of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun."

The original Green Lantern—a DC Comics mainstay for the past 70 years—will be revealed to be a gay man in next week's issue of "Earth 2."

Alan Scott—formerly a married father of two who first appeared in 1940—tips readers off to his sexuality early on in the comic when he gives his boyfriend a welcome home kiss.

"He's very much the character he was. He's still the pinnacle of bravery and idealism. He's also gay," "Earth 2" writer James Robinson told The Post.

The Emerald Guardian's sexuality was rebooted along with the rest of his fictional universe as part of DC's "New 52" initiative aimed at rejuvenating their characters.

Robinson said he decided to make the change because making the character young again meant erasing Scott's gay superhero son out of existence.

"The only downside of his being young was we lose his son, Obsidian, who's gay. So I thought, 'Why not make Alan Scott gay?'" Robinson recalled. "That was the seed that started it."

More here.

Well, at least it's not Aqua-Man. That would have been really insulting to gays, comic geeks, and underwater dwellers of all races, creeds, colors, and zoological classifications.

As a kid who spent hours of my childhood reading comics, I willingly confess to absolutely loving the generally awful attempts by mainstream comics to be "relevant"—I fondly recall plots where Superman gets beat up by activist Navajos for giving them Kryptonite blankets of something; where Green Arrow and Green Lantern drove around a United States exclusively populated by racists, corporate criminals, and hippies bearing remarkable resemblances to Jesus Christ; and where the "real" Captain America and the Falcon fight a '50s replacement who, along with his sidekick Bucky, are revealed to be anti-communist nutjobs (just like…Joe McCarthy!).

More power to such forces and less power to groups such as the American Family Association, who ask, "Why do adult gay men need comic superheroes as role models?" (Haven't they read their Fredric Wertham? The goal of comics is to turn healthy boys into homosexuals via exposure to the idyllic dream life of Bruce Wayne and "Dick" Grayson, not to sate the unnatural desires of post-pubescent deviants.)

But will the new DC lineup be any good, as defined by whatever counts as good smash-bang-kerplow action these days? That remains to be seen. The creators are saying that the gay Green Lantern won't be defined by his sexuality, which is problematic given what a boring old fart the character has been since the Truman administration. And DC is already behind the curve on this trend. Archie Comics, fer chrissakes, already held a gay wedding back in January, featuring an active-duty soldier!

NEXT: Seth Adams Was Still Alive After Deputy Sheriff Shot Him Four Times in Parking Lot of Family Business; New Details From Family Attorney, None From Police (w/ updates)

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  1. As a kid who spent hours of my childhood reading comics, I willingly confess to absolutely loving the generally awful attempts by mainstream comics to be “relevant” – I fondly recall plots where Superman gets beat up by activist Navajos for giving them Kryptonite blankets of something; where Green Arrow and Green Lantern drove around a United States exclusively populated by racists, corporate criminals, and hippies bearing remarkable resemblances to Jesus Christ; and where the “real” Captain America and the Falcon fight a ’50s replacement who, along with his sidekick Bucky, are revealed to be anti-communist nutjobs (just like…Joe McCarthy!).

    More power to such forces

    More power to brain dead leftist propaganda? Really Nick?

    1. Often, stupid, preachy, brain-dead propaganda becomes funny when they dial up the preachiness to 11.

      Think North Korea claiming that Kim Jong Il bowled a perfect 300 the first time he went bowling.

      1. Yeah. I caught the irony after I posted it.

    2. “The goal of comics is to turn healthy boys into homosexuals via exposure to the idyllic dream life of Bruce Wayne and “Dick” Grayson, not to sate the unnatural desires of post-pubescent deviants.”

      Obviously, it worked.

  2. …tips readers off to his sexuality early on in the comic when he gives his boyfriend a welcome home kiss.

    Shouldn’t the fact that he had a boyfriend tip them off?

    1. Nothing short of a dick hitting up into an asshole with a pair of dangling balls beneath it will bring about that ‘ah ha’ moment for some people.

  3. So if the Green Lantern jumps off a bridge tomorrow will the management at DC comics be charged with a hate crime for outing him?

    1. Too soon! 🙁

    2. They must have been secretly watching him, or else they wouldn’t have known. Check their tweets.

    3. How about a storyline where Superman secretly spies on him using X-Ray vision and then tweets about it to the rest of the Justice League. Then he goes and jumps off a bridge.

  4. …and where the “real” Captain America and the Falcon fight a ’50s replacement who, along with his sidekick Bucky, are revealed to be anti-communist nutjobs (just like…Joe McCarthy!).

    And then the Falcon and Captain America fight each other because Cap wouldn’t stop introducing him as “The Black Falcon”.

    1. Yeah, but in his defense, the Falcon kept on calling him ‘Cap’n Whitebread’!

  5. Dude makes a lot of sense man, WOw.

    http://www.Privacy-Apps.tk

  6. That looks like it might jsut work. WOw.

    http://www.Data-Privacy.tk

    1. There’s no way to flag spam here…

  7. The creators are saying that the gay Green Lantern won’t be defined by his sexuality

    Considering that DC’s counterparts at Marvel have made homosexuality the Metaphor of the Moment for its own superhero universe, I don’t see how they can avoid it.

    1. That theme was getting pretty thick in the X-Men movies. I was thankful they didn’t go there in The Avengers. It’s just tedious and I prefer the focus on character flaws instead of victimhood.

      1. Even the 60’s era X-Men grew tedious with the discrimination theme.

        I can really only think of one political issue oriented story arch that really worked. The civil war series where they clashed over registration of super heroes. Of course, they decided to lame it up soon after by taking it all back with a bargain with Mephisto. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. The playing for keeps element of that arch is what made it interesting as a story. Invisible Girl leaving her husband, Thor royally pissed about his DNA used to create a FrankenThor by Reed and Stark, Captain America jailed and then assassinated, Spiderman’s screwing up and endangering his family by outing himself, what a tangled web.

        1. It seems the whole of Marvel and DC comic book history has been creating massive story arches and then pulling a St. Elsewhere in order to keep trading on the same characters with no real innovation. It gets old after a while.

        2. Of course, they decided to lame it up soon after by taking it all back with a bargain with Mephisto.

          Yeah, as I recall, they did something similar with the Onslaught storyline as well–heroes making the supreme sacrifice, only to have them all come back like some sort of Bobby Ewing dream sequence.

          Anyway, comic books have been written for the last 40 years or so by nerds, for nerds, not for the general teenage population. They’re geek empowerment fantasies against VAPID JOCKS UGH, which is why characters like Wolverine and Spiderman are so popular–nerds see themselves making clever quips before outthinking the big bully in battle. The reason Nathan Fillion’s “If I kill you, you’ll be awake” line from Firefly is so popular is because that’s exactly what nerds wish they had the balls to say to someone with more looks and ability than them, not the normal passive-aggressive microaggressions reaction that they typically have.

      2. The theme is pretty straightforward on any of the films that Bryan Singer was involved with. On the last one, they might as well have made Sebastian Shaw call all of the X-Men faggots.

        It’s just tedious and I prefer the focus on character flaws instead of victimhood.

        I think it’s pretty difficult for any openly gay director or producer to keep that theme out of the product. Their entire self-conscious is viewed through that lens and it’s going to inevitably influence their work.

        Honestly, the biggest surprise of The Avengers was that Whedon, with his Action Grrrrl dominatrix fetish, didn’t make Black Widow the superstar of the movie.

        1. I don’t think that is in any way unique to nerds. Same is true for the quips Clint Eastwood voiced in Dirty Harry or the Man With No Name trilogy, or Conan in the original adaptation.

          I’d like to elaborate but someone is vying for my attention just now.

        2. Well, Scarlett is no SMG. But she did her best.

        3. Actually, Black Widow does have the best part in the movie and, in a film that doesn’t really allow for them, the closest to what could be called a character arc.

          1. Actually, Black Widow does have the best part in the movie and, in a film that doesn’t really allow for them, the closest to what could be called a character arc.

            You could have taken Black Widow and Hawkeye out of the movie and hardly anyone would have noticed–like the Garfield Without Garfield strips, it probably would have made the overall story more compelling, too. The character arc inclusion was Whedon’s admission that they weren’t even necessary to the plot.

            1. Hawkeye, maybe. But he gave her a ton of good stuff.

      3. Well, as someone with your handle should be aware, Slayer=gay was pretty much the central metaphor on Buffy.

    2. Also, considering they’ve already made a huge frickin’ deal about, I don’t really see how they can avoid it either.

      Of course if they hadn’t then they wouldn’t have the smug self satisfaction about how progressive and ahead of the curve they are.

      1. Maybe in DC’s world, “not central to his identity” just means they aren’t going to be as over the top with it as Marvel has been with Northstar.

  8. I hope this is setting up a storyline where the Green Lantern Corps is hit with a discrimination lawsuit.

  9. If I remember correctly, back in the days of the “Green Arrow and Green Lantern” comic book. Green Arrow was the progessive preachy chap and Green Lantern was put in the role of the reactionary right wing libertarianish know-nothing. Little did we know that that was because Green Lantern was trying to hide his sexuality.

    PS I have not read comic books for ages so if I have the “wrong” Green Lantern let me apologize in advance to comic fanatics everywhere and in everyway.

    1. so if I have the “wrong” Green Lantern let me apologize

      The legion cannot be appeased.

    2. That was Hal Jordan. Who likes his women alien and underage.

      And he likes a bit of rough trade from time to time.

      1. OK, so physically she looks older now, but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s still mentally and emotionally only 13. Hal explains to her that even if this was OK (which it’s not!), he’s not going to date anyone right now, as his girlfriend, Carol, has recently died. And on this point he is very firm, and sad.

        Ha! Ha! She got old and hideous for nothing!

        1. Of course, when Green Lantern’s girlfriend Carol wasn’t dead, she was sometimes evil. And she wasn’t faithful. Hal turns his back, and the next thing he knows, Carol is out playing dominatrix with Superman: http://images.wikia.com/marvel……1_261.jpg

          1. That’s awesome. look up the Superman’s A Dick! collection of retro covers if you haven’t seen them yet.

    3. The Green Arrow graphic novels were quite violent and dark, IIRC. I don’t recall him being preachy at all.

      1. swampleg is referring to Denny O’Neil and Neal Adams 1970-71 run. Green Arrow was retconned to a drippy hippie trying to reform Hal’s Republican ways.

        1. I guess I should have apologized in advance for potentially getting the wrong Green Arrow. Who knew that the DC world had been rebooted so many times?

  10. You know who else was gay and wore gaudy rings?

      1. Tony Soprano?

        1. Funny you should mention that. Even the Sopranos ventured into gays territory when it came out that one of Tony’s soldiers (Vito?) was gay. He was getting it on with a firefighter.

    1. Terry Bradshaw?

      1. Goddamn it, beat me to it.

  11. The Emerald Guardian’s sexuality was rebooted along with the rest of his fictional universe as part of DC’s “New 52” initiative aimed at rejuvenating their characters. undoing all of the outing of characters that used to be homosexual so they can pick less popular ones.

    Fixed.

    Was anyone else here disappointed when the rebooted Question turned out to be Just Another Mystic rather than an Objectivist? I don’t think he would need to be used as a pro-Objectivist mouthpiece (i.e. Ditko’s run), but then at least he would fill a specific niche and be differentiated from the dozen other C-level mystics on the roster.

    1. They retconn him as just a conspiracy nut long before the 52 reboot.

      1. The Justice League Unlimited cartoon version of The Question was fun, though. It was like crossing John Galt with Fox Mulder — and then he turned out to be right!

        1. Also, the late Dwayne McDuffie, who worked on the JLU cartoon, told me he did have Galt’s torture scene in Atlas Shrugged in mind when they did a similar scene with The Question.

  12. It’s not like this is anything groundbreaking. Marvel has had gay characters for years. Maybe not any of the really top tier characters, but there are several LGB characters in the various X-Men books.

    1. They have been rebooting Northstar to major player status for quite awhile.

      1. I haven’t really followed it closely for about 10 years, but I paid attention enough to know that Shatterstar and Rictor (both on X-Force at one point, I have no idea what book they are in now) are gay, and are apparently a couple.

        1. Northstar just proposed to his dude. There is going to be a wedding soon! To think, I subscribed as a kid to find out such boring details as if Jean Grey could be redeemed after committing genocide.

    2. DC has actually had a number of regular gay characters and superheroes for close to 20 years. (I distinctly recall that Tasmanian Devil, not to be confused with the WB cartoon character of the same name, was revealed to be gay in the early 1990s.)

      This was hyped as a “major” character being revealed as gay. Since I’m pretty sure that Alan Scott doesn’t have his own title these days, that was a bit deceptive on DC’s part.

      1. Extrano was the first, I think: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extrano

  13. Hmm, might we see an appearance of the bi-love bot?

  14. Well the Green Lantern comic books have always been gay, so now we know why. Meh. I’m still waiting for the launch of Officer Littledick Dog Assassin.

  15. It’s scary that 35 years after I last read anything from DC Comics, I still remember what “Earth 2” is.

    A bit of a cop-out, really. DC would have been braver to make the Earth 1 Green Lantern gay, since he’s the more famous one.

    1. That’s what I was thinking.

      We’re going to make a statement! Just with one of our lesser known characters so we don’t run the possibility of losing readership, you know.

      1. I’m amused that wiped one gay character out of existence in order to do this, too, ruining a potentially interesting dynamic (hero dad with gay hero son).

  16. Mogo would not approve.

    Also Hal Jordan is the only true Green Lantern.

  17. So, wait, they made the character whose weakness is wood gay? Real subtle there, DC.

  18. 1. Agree on Hal Jordan.

    2. Is anyone else getting guiltily tired of this let’s-make-everything-gay thing? I mean, I’m pro gay marriage etc. (or more specifically pro leave everybody the fuck alone and mind your own goddamn business), but now I can just see decades and decades of trying to make up for the Awful Civil Injustices done to the gay community, culminating in a formal apology from the US Government. I have Facebook friends posting about how they totally will shop JC Penney now (to which I silently call bullshit on their hipster white asses BTW) because they have ads featuring gay people. Jesus Christ.

    And get off my goddam lawn.

    1. “Gay advertising” is probably effective at targeting a certain population–98% of whom are not gay. It essentially is a shorthand way of proclaiming “look at how urbane and hip we are!” More or less the same thing as adding some squeaky Jenny Feist sound-alike singer into the jingle.

      1. Well, yes. And it is cool to see people actually thinking about stomping on other people’s liberties and all that. But these same folks don’t give a crap about bombing brown people in Afghanistan or drug war horror in Mexico and yet all of a sudden feel like they’re Rosa goddam Parks for buying a comic book.

        Maybe I just hate branding.

        1. Nothing wrong with hating branding. Just think of some Pete Campbell-level douchebag on Madison Ave. dreaming up this stuff.

      2. “look at how urbane and hip we are!”

        ^THIS^

        The only reason DC is “outing” a “major character” (who it turns out isn’t even all that major) and the only reason JC Penney and others are doing “gay advertising” is just to say “look at how progressive and cool we are compared to the flyover country rubes”.

        They’re really just looking for a nice warm rush of self satisfaction that come from being a holier than thou smug douche bag.

    2. I can just see decades and decades of trying to make up for the Awful Civil Injustices done to the gay community

      Just wait for the gay reparations civil suit.

      They’ll settle by setting the Star-Spangled-Banner to a thumping house music soundtrack

  19. Oi, what’s with the hating on Animal Man? Seems to be a well received new line with the reboot, and the upcoming Swamp Thing/Animal Man crossover looks awesome.

  20. Ahh, fuck, I made a bet they were going to go softball* and make it Wonder Woman (she’s already pretty butch, and hey: it would totally increase her male-readership. Win-Win)

    [*note: no i don’t mean women who play softball are all lesbians, i meant they were going to in the end avoid going Gay-Gay, male-on-male, pumping house music and sweaty gym locker room-gay, and instead go lesbo… which ultimately seem less controversial. call me crazy]

    1. You are crazy.

    2. They already have this with WW any time they want just by doing a few Paradise Island episodes. (which I would buy of course).

  21. A brief history of superheroes and homosexuality:

    I’m doing this from memory, but, as I recall, before Northstar was outed by Marvel as gay, he was 1) the biggest jerk this side of Sunfire (notoriously jerky Japanese mutant superhero) 2) outed as a fairy (no, a literal fairy, seriously) 3) dead. Then he got better, the fairy bullshit was forgotten, and Marvel decided to make him gay and not so much of a jerk.

    He was also, at one point, a French-Canadian separatist, I think, but I forgot the details. At the time, it had something to do with his being generally a jerk.

    Then he was dead, killed by a psycho, mind-controlled Wolverine. Then he was resurrected as an evil assassin. Then he got better. And now he’s married, and a really nice guy beloved by all, since everyone has forgotten that he was once a controlling jerk who tried to run his crazy sister’s life for her. (Did I mention he was a controlling jerk as well as just a regular jerk?)

    To be continued…

    1. Now, on to Alan Scott, the original Green Lantern, whose powers were mystical rather than sci-fi, who was the one and only Green Lantern until falling sales killed his comics in the late 1940s. When DC brought back the Green Lantern in the late 1950s, it was a completely revamped version (Hal Jordan), who was now part of an entire corps of Green Lanterns protecting the entire universe. Later, it was revealed that Alan Scott and the other WWII-era heroes still existed on an alternate Earth called Earth-2. In the 1980s, the alternate Earths were merged into one (long story), so Alan and Hal now existed in the same timeline, with Alan going in and out of retirement.

      Now the DC universe has been rebooted, so that Alan is back on Earth 2, apart from Hal and the rest of the mainline DC heroes. But this time. The Earth 2 heroes are younger, rather than older than their mainline counterparts.

      Now, the old, WWII Alan Scott wasn’t gay, and he had two adult children, one of whom was gay. Like Northstar, Alan’s gay son Obsidian spent various periods being evil and/or dead before being outed as gay.

      But now that Alan is too young to have adult kids, he’s gay. To my knowledge, this version of Alan Scott has never been evil or dead, but give it time.

      Hey, it’s comics, folks! Excelsior!

      P.S. It’s Aquaman. No hyphen. ‘Nuff said.

  22. I guess I should also have apologized in advance for potentially getting the wrong Green Arrow. Who knew that DC had rebooted this franchise so many times?

    1. Major reboots every 20-or-so years, with countless minor reboots between Crisis on Infinite Earths and The New 52.

  23. I post this a week ago or so. Where’s my hattip?

    1. “posted”

  24. Seeing the costumes these guys wear, I’ve just always assumed that all of them were gay and have been the entire time.

    1. “Let’s see…which is the gay one? I would guess it’s the guy with the really flamboyant costume, perhaps the guy with the cape…did I guess right?”

    2. I think that is by design. It allows the pubescent male reader to write them all off and fantasize about all the half naked superhero/supervillian women running round without threat of competition.

      Good point of view porn works in a similar way.

      1. It also allows female comic-book readers (shut up) to imagine some of the male super heroes becoming *ahem* intimate with each other.

  25. Animal Man

    Actually i hear that was/is a good comic.

    The Grant Morrison run was supposedly great.

    1. Grant Morrison is my favorite Scottish writer.

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