TSA

Conquering the Terrorist Threat by Terrorizing Little Girls

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Michelle Brademeyer of Missoula, Montana, offers yet another example of how much better airport screening has become since the federal government took control of it. Brademeyer and her two chldren flew to Wichita, Kansas, the weekend before last for her brother's wedding. On the way back to Missoula, they shared a flight to Denver with Brademeyer's mother, who lives in California. Brademeyer and her kids, ages 4 and 6, passed through the metal detector without incident, but her mother made the machine beep. Unable to determine what had triggered the alarm, a transportation security officer informed her that she would have to wait for a pat-down. At that point, Brademeyer reports on her Facebook page, her 4-year-old daughter, Isabella, noticed her grandmother and excitedly ran back through the checkpoint to hug her. "They made very brief contact," Brademeyer says, "no longer than a few seconds."

Brademeyer says the TSOs at the checkpoint reacted to this breach of protocol by screaming at Isabella, telling her she would have to undergo a pat-down as well. They darkly suggested that her grandmother might have passed a gun to her during their brief embrace, even though Isabella was not carrying anything or wearing any clothing with pockets. They refused to let her go back through the metal detector, insisting that she be frisked. Isabella began crying and ran away from the TSOs, enraging them further. They threatened to close down the airport in light of the "high security threat" posed by the terrified little girl. Although they at first insisted that Brademeyer keep her distance from Isabella, they eventually let her follow her daughter into a separate room for the pat-down. To the dismay of the TSO doing the groping, Isabella would not stop crying even when commanded to do so:

My sweet four-year-old child was shaking and crying uncontrollably, she did not want to stand still and let strangers touch her. My heart was breaking. I will never forget the look of pure terror on her face. A TSO began repeating that in the past she had "seen a gun in a teddy bear." The TSO seemed utterly convinced my child was concealing a weapon, as if there was no question about it. Worse still, she was treating my daughter like she understood how dangerous this was, as if my daughter was not only a tool in a terrorist plot, but actually in on it. The TSO loomed over my daughter, with an angry grimace on her face, and ordered her to stop crying. When my scared child could not do so, two TSOs called for backup saying "The suspect is not cooperating." The suspect, of course, being a frightened child. They treated my daughter no better than if she had been a terrorist. 

It was an awful sight.

A third TSO arrived to the scene, and showed no more respect than the first two had given. All three were barking orders at my daughter, telling her to stand still and cease crying. When she did not stop crying on command, they demanded we leave the airport. They claimed they could not safely check my daughter for dangerous items if she was in tears. I will admit, I lost my temper. 

Finally, a manager intervened. He determined that my child could, in fact, be cleared through security while crying. I was permitted to hold her while the TSO checked her body. When they found nothing hidden on my daughter, they were forced to let us go, but not until after they had examined my ID and boarding passes for a lengthy amount of time. When we arrived at our gate, I noticed that the TSOs had followed us through the airport. I was told something was wrong with my boarding pass and I would have to show it to them again. Upon seeing the TSO, my daughter was thrown into hysterics. Eventually, we were able to board our flight.

The Daily Mail reports that when the family changed planes in Denver, "an airport employee," apparently alerted to the suspected terrorist in leggings and Mary Janes, "demanded to know which of the family was Isabella—and 'looked really confused' when the girl was pointed out to her." According to her mother, Isabella "has been waking up with nightmares" since the incident. Contacted by The Consumerist for comment, the Transportation Security Adminstration replied:

TSA has recently implemented modified screening procedures of children 12 and under that further reduce— though not eliminate—the need for a physical pat-down for children. In this case, however, the child had completed screening but had contact with another member of her family who had not completed the screening process. TSA has reviewed the incident and determined that our officers followed proper current screening procedures in conducting a modified pat-down on the child.

Current, maybe. Proper, no.

More on the TSA's standard operating stupidity here.

[Thanks to Tricky Vic for the tip.]

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170 responses to “Conquering the Terrorist Threat by Terrorizing Little Girls

  1. Well I hope that little girl has learned who’s in charge here.

    1. Feck the TSA! Drink! Arse! Girls!

    2. The whole thing started when TSA let a passenger travel the wrong way through the security checkpoint.

  2. There’s no way the little girl could even know if she was a terrorist without the government telling her.

  3. Well, I had a lovely daydream of beating some people half to death. Anyone else?

    The TSA is a reliable generator of my red curtain of hate.

    1. It’s usually the public school administrator stories that do it for me. I indulge in little fantasies about suing school districts into oblivion and getting teachers/admins/resource officers fired in disgrace.

    2. my red curtain of hate

      What a terrible way to refer to your labia.

      1. Seriously. I thought only the Jezzies called it that.

      2. No, those are my purple gates of sorrow.

        1. THAT’S NOT FUNNY.

          1. I’m jealous of your blue waffle, though.

            1. I thought it was a bearded clam you were packing. You often sing the praises of dwarven beards. I suspect you braid your poon hairs, Wartington.

              1. Have you ever tried to braid goat hair?

                1. It’s more moral and honest work than being a TSA screener.

      3. Well, he does hate it after all. It’s so sad.

        1. Isn’t it though? So much self-loathing should be reserved for card carrying Jezehellions. It’s dreadful.

          1. Why do you hate your lady parts, Warty? Why?

            1. You’ve seen them. You should know.

          2. Why do you hate your lady parts, Warty? Why?

          3. They can pretty it up in rhetoric and curse words all they like, but at its base, Jezebel is little more than a Cathy cartoon.

            ACK!

            1. Cathy Guisewite is The Whore of Babble On.

            2. Meh, that was actually kind of funny for once. Although, I am not sure WTF “cleansing” is. I probably don’t want to, either.

              1. It’s when you drink water/juice/god knows what instead of eating (at all). To cleanse your colon…

                1. It started as an SNL skit, and now it’s real.

                  If you want a good laugh, read the testimonials.

                2. Lemon juice (organic natch), cayenne pepper, and maple syrup.

                  You can drink as much of it as you like, but keep a bucket handy because you won’t make it to the loo every time.

                  1. Well, this is all rather mentally scarring horrifying. I am trying to avoid wondering why wearing a bikini is conflated with “cleansing.” If someone has that bad a problem, perhaps wearing a swimsuit isn’t the best choice of garment.

                    1. I hadn’t actually heard this myself before, but I guess it makes “sense” that pre-bikini season, as weight-loss season, would also be cleansing season. If it made sense that there was ever any season for such things.

                3. That’s what Kim Chee is for.

    3. Considering I’m having a little girl of my own in about 10 weeks, my daydreams of these things have gotten remarkably more violent.

      1. Congrats on your impending kid. 🙂 And yeah, parenthood has a way of making a lot of things more primal, at least that has been my experience.

        1. I have a five month old daughter, so I’m starting to mentally prepare myself for the jail time I will receive if this happens to her.

        2. My kids are 11 and 16 but I still lie awake some nights thinking about things like this happening and the rage builds.

    4. Do you want the first half or the second?

  4. TSA has reviewed the incident and determined that our officers followed proper current screening procedures in conducting a modified pat-down on the child.

    Finally, the TSA grows some balls. “That’s right, we’re assholes. What are you gonna do about it? … Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

    Send the entire group through again if you needed to get your authority boner off. How tough would that have been?

    1. Tony Montana: The only thing in this world that gives orders… is balls.

  5. TSA has reviewed the incident and determined that our officers followed proper current screening procedures in conducting a modified pat-down on the child.

    Procedures were followed. What the hell are you people complaining about?

    1. Procedures were followed. What the hell are you people complaining about?

      The procedures that were followed.

  6. The only way that asshole has seen a gun in a teddy bear is if she put it there herself or it was shown to her in a TSA training video. Fucking liars.

    1. I’m sure it’s been included in the plot of a movie somewhere. And since everything that happens in movies are 100% realistic…

      1. The Last Boyscout. When his daughter hands him the hand puppet with the gun tucked inside. That’s what I’m betting.

    2. What? You didn’t have a gun bear growing up? Mine was a constant companion until I turned 9.

      1. I had Assault Rifle Teddy Ruxpin.

        No one fucks with you when you’ve got AR Teddy.

  7. God fucking damn it. Seriously? Is it just the couple dozen of us lowly commenters here that see how fucked this is? What is wrong with U.S. citizens?

    1. Just an isolated incident. Procedures were followed. Nothing to see here. Move along, citizen.

    2. It’s incidents like this that will hopefully awaken the common man to the realization that government is no longer there to serve and protect the citizens, it is there to serve and protect itself.

      I’m amazed that the MSM doesn’t go after this more agreesively – but maybe it doesn’t becasue there isn’t any hint of racism.

      1. You’re joking, right? The MSM is statist to the core. They’d no sooner go after the TSA than they would the police.

        1. Only those in the government can be trusted with unlimited power, obviously.

        2. If this had happened to a black family I bet there would be more of an uproar beyond the nothing it has gotten.

          I know deep down you are right – the MSM is a de facto agent of the state these days.

          1. If this had happened to a black family I bet there would be more of an uproar beyond the nothing it has gotten.

            The media only cares about black people if they can be used to race bait headlines.

          2. Does anyone know if there have been any incidents like this occuring to blacks? Or is it only to whites? I can only recall it happening to whites.

            1. If they only target whites the agents can’t be accused of profiling and/or racism, and jeopardize…what, I wonder? Certainly not thier sacrosanct pensions/jobs/benefits/vacation time.

      2. It’s incidents like this that will hopefully awaken the common man to the realization that government is no longer there to serve and protect the citizens, it is there to serve and protect itself.

        There was a time when this wasn’t true?

        1. Probably not but it seems to have gotten way out of hand.

    3. What is wrong with U.S. citizens?

      I’m not sure there is enough time to cover all of it…

      Oh yeah…..stand still and cease crying!

      1. An unwillingness of parents to support BigOrbitalBoneRepair is the first problem that must be addressed.

    4. I had to walk away from the internet when I read this article yesterday. The fact that this lady would stand there and let these goons rape her baby and not kill somebody is beyond me. That’s why I haven’t been in an airport in about 8 years, though. Last time I flew, just the very idea of knowing what was going on and knowing it wasn’t fundamentally any different than the Jews shuffling on board the cattle cars put me so close to snapping that I knew if I ever flew again somebody was going to die.

      1. ^^THIS^^

        Any parent willing to watch their kids become traumatized isn’t getting any sympathy from me. You might not be able to leave, but you sure the fuck can break a nose or arm or two before you’re hauled away.

        1. Doesn’t sound like Dad was there.

          If it was my kid…

        2. You can leave. Well, technically, they may argue its a crime to leave after starting thru security, but fuck that. Rent a car and drive home.

        3. In truth this is my biggest fear of flying. If someone did this to my son (5) or daughter (9), they would get hurt. Then I’d get tazered or shot and end up dead or in jail. Far more likely scenario than terrorists.

          1. Same here. Depends on the lesson you want your kids to walk away with, I guess. “Kids, you saw Daddy get tazered because Dad doesn’t let strangers touch his kids” seems a better lesson than “Kids, I’ll let anyone in a uniform fondle you if it means we get to Disney land faster”.

        4. Getting violent would not help. For better or worse, most people have better things to do than to fuck up their lives making a principled stand. I doubt mom or dad going to prison for assaulting a TSA dick will make the little girl’s life better. Fortunately, most people in airports have better self control than some commenter on here. Not that I wouldn’t say “right on” if someone did kick the TSA dick’s ass, but it’s not going to help anything, really.

          1. You’ll understand when you have kids of your own.?

      2. “Rape”? really?

        I don’t like this either, those asshole behaved completely inappropriately (the TSA that is), but rape means something different from what happened here.

        1. “Finger bang” work better for you?

        2. All you need do is look up “rape”. It has less to do with sex than with domination. Somebody getting pissed off at a little girl publicly challenging his authoritah so he has to sadistically assert his dominance? That’s a pretty sick puppy right there.

          And while you may think teaching your kids that it is better to live on your knees than to die on your feet is no big deal, some of us know that if you live on your knees you will die on your knees.

    5. Look at it this way Joe, at least you have time to plan how to navigate your new little daughter through shit like this.

      1. No girls yet, just two little boys. And hopefully, we won’t need to fly anywhere.

        1. My mistake, I thought last week you said your new one was a girl.

          1. I’m not licensed to have daughters yet.

    6. God fucking damn it. Seriously? Is it just the couple dozen of us lowly commenters here that see how fucked this is?

      That’s correct. Approximately 50% of the libertarian population is rather upset at this.

      1. And the other half hasn’t heard about it yet..

        CB

  8. It’s like someone perfectly hybridized the evil of Nazis with the brainlessness of Idiocracy. Though I guess Brazil predicted this.

    1. Be safe be suspicious.

  9. TSA has reviewed the incident and determined that our officers followed proper current screening procedures in conducting a modified pat-down on the child.

    “Roolz are roolz, aftur all.”

  10. Yes, yelling at a 4-year-old is a tried and true method of getting them to stop crying. The TSA genius must have learned that in retard school, or, as they call it, “training”.

    1. Look at it this way. The fact that they have no idea how to handle kids gives me hope that they haven’t bred, and never will.

      1. Keep hoping. Their little spawn will be sucking at the teat of government before you know it.

        1. Too late.

      2. This would be a reason for hope if there weren’t so many bad parents.

        1. Yeah. I’m pretty sure she learned this line from my mom.

    2. Yes, yelling at a 4-year-old is a tried and true method of getting them to stop crying. The TSA genius must have learned that in retard school, or, as they call it, “training”.

      On my last trip the TSA asshat asked for my boarding pass. I handed it to him, but my passport was also in my hand.

      He looked at me like I was an idiot and said sharply, “Boarding pass!” at which time I huffed and shoved it closer to him.”

      He figured it out.

      I don’t know why I just told that story, except as a tangential to the hate I have for the TSA.

  11. I don’t blame the TSA anymore at this point – they are just mindless agents of the state.

    Congress, on the other hand, apparently has plenty of time to investigate ‘roids in baseball and engage in all kinds of idiotic theater about that, not too mention find lots of time to not put a budget together and spend us into oblivion.

    Was there ever a time that Congress demanded accountability from those it charges to protect and serve us? When did We The People become They The Sheeple?

    If it had been me I’m not sure I could control my rage at the TSO. Would I have ended up dead? Are those assholes armed?

    1. I don’t blame the TSA anymore at this point

      I do. Nobody forced them to apply for the job. Fuck them.

      1. You know what – you are right. To bad I can’t edit that post.

        1. The kind of people that would knowingly apply for a job they know everyone fucking hates? Yeah, those kind of people. Fuck ’em.

      2. Not to mention, “procedures” might permit them to do what they did to this girl, but I doubt they require it. Any person with an ounce of sense would have let her through. These fucking mindless government lackies do this shit because they get off on the temporary “power” they have. Elsewhere in life they’d be handing fries through the drive through window or polishing your floors. They’ve been granted authority for the first — and only — time in their lives, and they are going to fucking use it before it gets taken away.

    2. I don’t blame the TSA anymore at this point – they are just mindless agents of the state.

      I was trying to think how I would handle this situation if I were a TSA hack, and I couldn’t, because I can’t imagine doing that job and looking at myself in the mirror. Seriously, working at McDonald’s is at least honest work.

      1. They do it for the power. They can give orders and really fuck with someone’s day if they don’t obey.

        So yeah. Fuck them.

      2. But spitting in a customer’s food isn’t sociopathic enough for some people.

        1. Spitting? That’s an amateur move.

    3. You know who else were just mindless agents of the state?

  12. Proper procedures were followed. Move along.

    I SAID MOVE THE FUCK ALONG!

      1. STOP CRYING…that’s so unprofessional….it’s CEASE crying!

      2. This calls for a neologism: crysisting.

  13. Poor kid. I am imagining my daughters going through something like that, and having nightmares for weeks pretty much sums up how they would react.

    1. In my case the nightmares would be caused more by seeing their dad go into full Hulk mode and beat a couple of the TSOs to death before getting shot by a sheriff’s deputy.

      1. This is why I can’t risk flying with my children.

        1. This is why I always fly with my child. I’m just waiting for the chance…

  14. This is why I don’t fly.
    If someone singled out my daughter for a groping I would be going to jail for assault and battery.

    1. This.

      Y’all keep bitching yet y’all keep flying. Don’t like the TSA? Stop. Fucking. Flying.

      1. Y’all keep bitching yet y’all keep flying. Don’t like the TSA? Stop. Fucking. Flying.

        And we bitch about gas taxes and we keep driving.

        We bitch about income taxes, yet we keep working.

        Funny that.

  15. “There’s no crying in terrorism!”

    1. TSO: “Janet Napolitano was my manager, and she called me a talking pile of pigshit. And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me grope 4 year olds. And did I cry?”

      4 Year old: No

      TSO: Yeah! NO. And do you know why?

      4 Year old: No

      TSO: Because there’s no crying in terrorism. THERE’S NO CRYING IN TERRORISM! No crying!

      1. “Janet, anyone ever tell you that hairdo makes you look like a penis?”

  16. Maybe this is out of line, but what are the odds the mother was one of the “if you haven’t done anything wrong” types?

    They treated my daughter no better than if she had been a terrorist.

    Would she have thought it was alright if it was somebody else’s kid? I guess I’m just getting too cynical for this.

    1. Odds are pretty high I would suspect. Mom probably wets herself at the sight of a head scarf.

    2. Hopefully not, but this could just be a case of snowflake.

    3. Whatever the mother believes doesn’t mean the kid deserves what she got.

      1. Yup. Mom may be a full-on soccer mom safety nazi twunt, but that doesn’t mean a four year old kid deserves to be terrorized by TSA goons.

        1. Yup. Mom may be a full-on soccer mom safety nazi twunt, but that doesn’t mean a four year old kid deserves to be terrorized by TSA goons.

          I’m on the fence on this.

          It’s the safety nazi procedure-following, zero-tolerance twunts that got us where we are today. Society: needs more self awareness because this shit doesn’t happen in a vacuum.

          1. Better the soccer moms than their innocent children.

      2. No it doesn’t, I certainly agree with that. And hopefully this girl will remember this for the rest of her life. Maybe even to the point that she’ll be able to do something about it when she grows up. Maybe every terrorized child will grow into someone with a better outlook on how people should be treated.

        1. Or perhaps their memories of abuse at the hands of agents of the state will turn them into something much more dangerous – libertarians.

          1. Say it ain’t so! If she’s a libertarian, she’ll steal elections out of the hands of those who rightfully deserve them — Republocrats and Democricans.

    4. I dunno. Having undergone trying to schlep a wailing kid through security (and it wasn’t nearly as egregious back then as it is now… was right after the Shoe Bomber so everyone had to take off their damn shoes, but they weren’t doing the patdowns and such), I can personally attest to it becoming very frazzling very fast. (Kid was screaming and crying because her teddy had to go thru the belt scanner, which involved removing it from her hot little hands, but at least the agents at that time were understanding and trying to move faster and help calm her down, they weren’t screaming at her and terrorizing her.)

    5. “Would she have thought it was alright if it was somebody else’s kid? I guess I’m just getting too cynical for this.”

      We live in the age of helicopter parenting. Moms reporting anybody that happens to damage the fragile psyche of their little shits to the cops. They don’t want anyone touching or looking at their kid without having them thrown on a sex-offender registry, but for some reason, this is totally cool.

  17. They’ll review their procedures, not change them and then review them again when this happens again.

    9/11 let every authoritarian fantasy that these shitbags always wanted to play out be implemented.

    And no sympathy for the TSA workers themselves. They either don’t know what they are doing is wrong, or don’t give a shit. Either way, we’d be better off having them dig ditches or break rocks or whatever kind of job moral idiots are suitable to do.

    1. And no sympathy for the TSA workers themselves.

      Seriously. You’re pretty much scum if you have no qualms about screaming at a little girl in pursuit of your cherished procedures.

    2. They either don’t know what they are doing is wrong, or don’t give a shit.

      Maybe I’m just too cynical, but my money’s on the latter. I think you’d have to be some kind twisted perverted sociopath to actually want to work as a TSA screener. They’re just a bunch of pathetic little shitstains who only took the job because of the misplaced sense of AUTHORITAY. The feeling of superiority that those fuckwads must feel when they get to humiliate a senior citizen, or feel up a crying 4 year old probably gives them colossal fucking stiffies.

    3. I’d guess that most either don’t give a shit, or actually believe that they are doing good. Always watch out for people who think that they are doing good.

    4. And no sympathy for the TSA workers themselves. They either don’t know what they are doing is wrong, or don’t give a shit. Either way, we’d be better off having them dig ditches or break rocks or whatever kind of job moral idiots are suitable to do.

      Imagine yourself working for the TSA. Now imagine a 4-fucking-year-old running back through and hugging your grandmother. Your choices are:

      1. Scream at the 4-yo and demand she’s going to get physically handled by a group of strangers.
      2. Smile, and calmly inform her that she’ll have to go back through the security checkpoint like she did before… without patdown BECAUSE THERE’S NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HER HUGGING HER GRANDMA TWO SECONDS AFTER GOING THROUGH THE CHECKPOINT AND SPENDING THE LAST FOUR YEARS IN THE PRESENCE OF PEOPLE THE TSA HAS NEVER MET.

      So regarding the ‘patdown’ of the 4-yo. WTF?

      They can send her back through the metal detector. That patdown thing was completely unnecessary and illogical, and was used specifically to intimidate the family and the 4-yo.

      Fuck these tsa motherfuckers, and I’m going to continue to berate the living fucking tar out of every cowardly fuckstick who works for that organization, until they quit in tears because they wake up having nightmares every night.

  18. TSA has reviewed the incident and determined that our officers followed proper current screening procedures in conducting a modified pat-down on the child.

    How reassuring it is for parents to know that this happened exactly like it was supposed to and that this procedure will continue to be implemented by the petty criminals we hired to ensure the safety of our nation.

    1. The safety of the nation was secured against airplane attacks when we bolted the cockpit doors shut. Fuck, even United 93 did not make it to its target when the terrorists were flying the plane. The rest of this shit is almost completely pointless.

  19. Land of the free, home of the brave, my fucking ass.

    1. Land of the free enslaved, home of the brave cowardly.

  20. I’ve taken to opting out and getting groped. I try to take note of the reaction of other passengers. Some encouraging nods, some eyerolls. most seem to want to avoid eye contract.

    Based on nothing but my own observations, people won’t object until its their turn to be abused by the system.

    I’m dreading taking my 3-year-old on a family trip later this year.

    1. I always opt out. I’m thinking of getting some kind of teeshirt made for when I fly.

      1. I opt out too. I am usually the only one.

        Pro-tip: if flying in warm weather, wear a skirt (kilt, whatever) or really tiny shorts- they tend to grope a little lower on the thigh that way. Freedom!

        1. Thanks, want to go on a plane with me sometime?

        2. Guess I’m going to have to pick up on of those Australian Football uniforms after all.

        3. Shorts are a good idea, but I would add a more direct deterrent.

      2. I’m thinking of getting some kind of teeshirt made for when I fly.

        Despair.com’s ahead of you.

        1. No offense, but what antisocial networking shit are they trying to push on people?

          The page caused my browser to freeze while I was trying to load it in the background, and when I got to the page, it was on element 36 of 255 — with the T-shirt photo visible and the status bar saying it was trying to connect to Facebook.

    2. The eyerolls would piss me right the fuck off. They’re clearly the dipshits who have bought into the whole “it’s for your own good, you don’t want the terrorists to win do you?” bullshit.

      Little do they realize the terrorists already won. The second we started willingly exchanging even a little freedom for “security”, they won.

      1. By “they” do you mean the terrorists, or the ruling class?

        1. The ruling class knows full well what they’re doing. The “they” is refering to the sheeple rolling their eyes.

        2. By “they” do you mean the terrorists, or the ruling class?

          Yes.

          The ruling class need the terrorists to remain the ruling class.

      2. You just made me think of something great. When you step out for your pat down, stand there in a Jesus on the cross pose. If anyone meets your eyes just say “I’m doing this for you”.

        1. bonus points if a virgin weeps at your feet.

    3. I opt out too. I also opt out of a private grope and do it right there in public.

      One time one of the dimwitted TSA drones (who was a very nice young lady with a “degree” in “criminal justice” from ITT Tech) asked why, and I told her she wouldn’t understand. And what I meant by that was she was totally 100% incapable of understanding.

      1. Plus if you told her the actual reason it would have just delayed you even further as she called for backup.

      2. dimwitted TSA drones

        Unnecessary redundancy, just say TSA– that presumes dimwitted and drone.

  21. Excuse me sir I just needs to check inside ya asshooooole.

    1. OH MY!

    2. I’m a big boy.

  22. When my scared child could not do so, two TSOs called for backup saying “The suspect is not cooperating.” The suspect, of course, being a frightened child.

    This is all anyone need to know about the TSA.

    1. Seriously, how much of a clueless boot-licking by-the-books asshole do you have to be to utter those words about a child?

    2. And what the fuck did they suspect her of?

  23. “You’re a fiesty little one, but you’ll soon learn some respect.”

    1. Soon we’ll all be fit with a restraining bolt.

      1. Shock collars seem the more effective way to go.

        1. Heart plugs.

    2. Bad analogy. The Jawas could be reasoned and bargained with.

  24. TSA has reviewed the incident and determined that our officers followed proper current screening procedures in conducting a modified pat-down on the child.

    So, TSA is saying that, on the whole, chasing a screaming, frightened child through the airport in order to seize her and pat her down, is exactly how they want situations like this handled in the future.

    1. Actually, they’d like to use tazers on anyone non-complaint. But even a sociopath can recognize that looks bad to the rest of the sheep.

      1. how long before they’re using cattle prods?

  25. TSA is under the executive branch. Obama could stop the patdowns and x-rays with an executive order. Call your losers in congress and give them a piece of your mind.

    Nazi TSA agent harasses and tries to intimidate me:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3v571Yo82I

  26. “My mommy always said there were no monsters – no real ones – but there are.”

    1. This sums it up very well. Thanks, Newt.

  27. I don’t know how the rest of you go through life without the ability to induce aneurisms in the skulls of your enemies. It must be terribly frustrating.

    1. You could probably freak a TSA dupe out if you stared really hard at them and said you were doing that to make their head explode, just like in Scanners.

  28. This is absolutely infuriating and is a clear of example of what happens when government employees rely on procedures rather than any sort of thought.

    However, for those who are scared of taking their kids on a plane, I will offer the counter example of my recent experience flying internationally with my 2 kids, 4.5 and 2. The TSA agents were actually very patient and helpful and made security a breeze.

    Let’s be honest – these horror stories are going to get highlighted because good service doesn’t make news. And Reason is going further highlight these stories because it fits with their view that the TSA is less than useless (which I agree with). But let’s not overreact to these kinds of stories by refusing to fly because of an overblown fear of TSA agents.

    1. This is absolutely infuriating and is a clear of example of what happens when government employees rely on procedures rather than any sort of thought.

      This shit is everwhere. And I fear it was my generation that was the beginning of it. Somewhere, possibly the baby-boomers, started teaching kids in school that you could avert any tragedy by creating procedures to avoid them.

      I can’t get a handle on it, but it’s everywhere, and it’s heavily prevalent in my daughter’s school. At least a couple of times a month I have to debrief my child on some incident that happened at the school, and teach her that by using judgement and thought, a situation could have been avoided, instead of just clamping down tighter on rules.

      1. It’s all about buck passing. If you follow the proper procedures, no matter how fucked up the outcome, then you can’t be blamed.

  29. TSA: The Birthday Clowns of security.

  30. “TSA – we put the Line in Air Line.”

    CB

  31. I didn’t know it was possible to pin a badge to a bag of trash.

  32. The infamous video of the TSA agents swabbing the little boy in the wheelchair for possible explosives reminded me of the Milgram experiment. That is what happens when you insist to ordinary people that they do things in the name of following orders that they ordinarily wouldn’t do.

    These agents, OTOH, come across as the kind of people who have no friends.

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