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Politics

Conquering the Terrorist Threat by Terrorizing Little Girls

Jacob Sullum | 4.24.2012 2:31 PM

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Michelle Brademeyer of Missoula, Montana, offers yet another example of how much better airport screening has become since the federal government took control of it. Brademeyer and her two chldren flew to Wichita, Kansas, the weekend before last for her brother's wedding. On the way back to Missoula, they shared a flight to Denver with Brademeyer's mother, who lives in California. Brademeyer and her kids, ages 4 and 6, passed through the metal detector without incident, but her mother made the machine beep. Unable to determine what had triggered the alarm, a transportation security officer informed her that she would have to wait for a pat-down. At that point, Brademeyer reports on her Facebook page, her 4-year-old daughter, Isabella, noticed her grandmother and excitedly ran back through the checkpoint to hug her. "They made very brief contact," Brademeyer says, "no longer than a few seconds."

Brademeyer says the TSOs at the checkpoint reacted to this breach of protocol by screaming at Isabella, telling her she would have to undergo a pat-down as well. They darkly suggested that her grandmother might have passed a gun to her during their brief embrace, even though Isabella was not carrying anything or wearing any clothing with pockets. They refused to let her go back through the metal detector, insisting that she be frisked. Isabella began crying and ran away from the TSOs, enraging them further. They threatened to close down the airport in light of the "high security threat" posed by the terrified little girl. Although they at first insisted that Brademeyer keep her distance from Isabella, they eventually let her follow her daughter into a separate room for the pat-down. To the dismay of the TSO doing the groping, Isabella would not stop crying even when commanded to do so:

My sweet four-year-old child was shaking and crying uncontrollably, she did not want to stand still and let strangers touch her. My heart was breaking. I will never forget the look of pure terror on her face. A TSO began repeating that in the past she had "seen a gun in a teddy bear." The TSO seemed utterly convinced my child was concealing a weapon, as if there was no question about it. Worse still, she was treating my daughter like she understood how dangerous this was, as if my daughter was not only a tool in a terrorist plot, but actually in on it. The TSO loomed over my daughter, with an angry grimace on her face, and ordered her to stop crying. When my scared child could not do so, two TSOs called for backup saying "The suspect is not cooperating." The suspect, of course, being a frightened child. They treated my daughter no better than if she had been a terrorist. 

It was an awful sight.

A third TSO arrived to the scene, and showed no more respect than the first two had given. All three were barking orders at my daughter, telling her to stand still and cease crying. When she did not stop crying on command, they demanded we leave the airport. They claimed they could not safely check my daughter for dangerous items if she was in tears. I will admit, I lost my temper. 

Finally, a manager intervened. He determined that my child could, in fact, be cleared through security while crying. I was permitted to hold her while the TSO checked her body. When they found nothing hidden on my daughter, they were forced to let us go, but not until after they had examined my ID and boarding passes for a lengthy amount of time. When we arrived at our gate, I noticed that the TSOs had followed us through the airport. I was told something was wrong with my boarding pass and I would have to show it to them again. Upon seeing the TSO, my daughter was thrown into hysterics. Eventually, we were able to board our flight.

The Daily Mail reports that when the family changed planes in Denver, "an airport employee," apparently alerted to the suspected terrorist in leggings and Mary Janes, "demanded to know which of the family was Isabella—and 'looked really confused' when the girl was pointed out to her." According to her mother, Isabella "has been waking up with nightmares" since the incident. Contacted by The Consumerist for comment, the Transportation Security Adminstration replied:

TSA has recently implemented modified screening procedures of children 12 and under that further reduce— though not eliminate—the need for a physical pat-down for children. In this case, however, the child had completed screening but had contact with another member of her family who had not completed the screening process. TSA has reviewed the incident and determined that our officers followed proper current screening procedures in conducting a modified pat-down on the child.

Current, maybe. Proper, no.

More on the TSA's standard operating stupidity here.

[Thanks to Tricky Vic for the tip.]

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NEXT: Pippa's Well-Armed Parisian Adventure

Jacob Sullum is a senior editor at Reason.

PoliticsPolicyCivil LibertiesWorldTSAAirlinesTerrorismAirports
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  1. Hugh Akston   13 years ago

    Well I hope that little girl has learned who's in charge here.

    1. Father Jack   13 years ago

      Feck the TSA! Drink! Arse! Girls!

    2. Copernicus   13 years ago

      The whole thing started when TSA let a passenger travel the wrong way through the security checkpoint.

  2. Mad Scientist   13 years ago

    There's no way the little girl could even know if she was a terrorist without the government telling her.

  3. Warty   13 years ago

    Well, I had a lovely daydream of beating some people half to death. Anyone else?

    The TSA is a reliable generator of my red curtain of hate.

    1. Hugh Akston   13 years ago

      It's usually the public school administrator stories that do it for me. I indulge in little fantasies about suing school districts into oblivion and getting teachers/admins/resource officers fired in disgrace.

    2. SugarFree   13 years ago

      my red curtain of hate

      What a terrible way to refer to your labia.

      1. $?? ???? Sparky   13 years ago

        Seriously. I thought only the Jezzies called it that.

      2. Warty   13 years ago

        No, those are my purple gates of sorrow.

        1. Hell's Librarian   13 years ago

          THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

          1. Warty   13 years ago

            I'm jealous of your blue waffle, though.

            1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

              I thought it was a bearded clam you were packing. You often sing the praises of dwarven beards. I suspect you braid your poon hairs, Wartington.

              1. Hugh Akston   13 years ago

                Have you ever tried to braid goat hair?

                1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

                  It's more moral and honest work than being a TSA screener.

      3. Episiarch   13 years ago

        Well, he does hate it after all. It's so sad.

        1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

          Isn't it though? So much self-loathing should be reserved for card carrying Jezehellions. It's dreadful.

          1. Episiarch   13 years ago

            Why do you hate your lady parts, Warty? Why?

            1. Warty   13 years ago

              You've seen them. You should know.

          2. Episiarch   13 years ago

            Why do you hate your lady parts, Warty? Why?

          3. SugarFree   13 years ago

            They can pretty it up in rhetoric and curse words all they like, but at its base, Jezebel is little more than a Cathy cartoon.

            ACK!

            1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

              Cathy Guisewite is The Whore of Babble On.

            2. Hell's Librarian   13 years ago

              Meh, that was actually kind of funny for once. Although, I am not sure WTF "cleansing" is. I probably don't want to, either.

              1. nicole   13 years ago

                It's when you drink water/juice/god knows what instead of eating (at all). To cleanse your colon...

                1. $?? ???? Sparky   13 years ago

                  It started as an SNL skit, and now it's real.

                  If you want a good laugh, read the testimonials.

                2. Hugh Akston   13 years ago

                  Lemon juice (organic natch), cayenne pepper, and maple syrup.

                  You can drink as much of it as you like, but keep a bucket handy because you won't make it to the loo every time.

                  1. Hell's Librarian   13 years ago

                    Well, this is all rather mentally scarring horrifying. I am trying to avoid wondering why wearing a bikini is conflated with "cleansing." If someone has that bad a problem, perhaps wearing a swimsuit isn't the best choice of garment.

                    1. nicole   13 years ago

                      I hadn't actually heard this myself before, but I guess it makes "sense" that pre-bikini season, as weight-loss season, would also be cleansing season. If it made sense that there was ever any season for such things.

                3. Fat Man & Little Boy   13 years ago

                  That's what Kim Chee is for.

    3. DesigNate   13 years ago

      Considering I'm having a little girl of my own in about 10 weeks, my daydreams of these things have gotten remarkably more violent.

      1. Hell's Librarian   13 years ago

        Congrats on your impending kid. 🙂 And yeah, parenthood has a way of making a lot of things more primal, at least that has been my experience.

        1. Brian Combs   13 years ago

          I have a five month old daughter, so I'm starting to mentally prepare myself for the jail time I will receive if this happens to her.

        2. $?? ???? Sparky   13 years ago

          My kids are 11 and 16 but I still lie awake some nights thinking about things like this happening and the rage builds.

    4. Chris Mallory   13 years ago

      Do you want the first half or the second?

  4. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    TSA has reviewed the incident and determined that our officers followed proper current screening procedures in conducting a modified pat-down on the child.

    Finally, the TSA grows some balls. "That's right, we're assholes. What are you gonna do about it? ... Yeah, that's what I thought."

    Send the entire group through again if you needed to get your authority boner off. How tough would that have been?

    1. Tim   13 years ago

      Tony Montana: The only thing in this world that gives orders... is balls.

  5. Hugh Akston   13 years ago

    TSA has reviewed the incident and determined that our officers followed proper current screening procedures in conducting a modified pat-down on the child.

    Procedures were followed. What the hell are you people complaining about?

    1. Paul.   13 years ago

      Procedures were followed. What the hell are you people complaining about?

      The procedures that were followed.

  6. Zeb   13 years ago

    The only way that asshole has seen a gun in a teddy bear is if she put it there herself or it was shown to her in a TSA training video. Fucking liars.

    1. Loki   13 years ago

      I'm sure it's been included in the plot of a movie somewhere. And since everything that happens in movies are 100% realistic...

      1. $?? ???? Sparky   13 years ago

        The Last Boyscout. When his daughter hands him the hand puppet with the gun tucked inside. That's what I'm betting.

    2. BakedPenguin   13 years ago

      What? You didn't have a gun bear growing up? Mine was a constant companion until I turned 9.

      1. DesigNate   13 years ago

        I had Assault Rifle Teddy Ruxpin.

        No one fucks with you when you've got AR Teddy.

  7. Joe M   13 years ago

    God fucking damn it. Seriously? Is it just the couple dozen of us lowly commenters here that see how fucked this is? What is wrong with U.S. citizens?

    1. Mad Scientist   13 years ago

      Just an isolated incident. Procedures were followed. Nothing to see here. Move along, citizen.

    2. Restoras   13 years ago

      It's incidents like this that will hopefully awaken the common man to the realization that government is no longer there to serve and protect the citizens, it is there to serve and protect itself.

      I'm amazed that the MSM doesn't go after this more agreesively - but maybe it doesn't becasue there isn't any hint of racism.

      1. Episiarch   13 years ago

        You're joking, right? The MSM is statist to the core. They'd no sooner go after the TSA than they would the police.

        1. Joe M   13 years ago

          Only those in the government can be trusted with unlimited power, obviously.

        2. Restoras   13 years ago

          If this had happened to a black family I bet there would be more of an uproar beyond the nothing it has gotten.

          I know deep down you are right - the MSM is a de facto agent of the state these days.

          1. Bingo   13 years ago

            If this had happened to a black family I bet there would be more of an uproar beyond the nothing it has gotten.

            The media only cares about black people if they can be used to race bait headlines.

          2. Suthenboy   13 years ago

            Does anyone know if there have been any incidents like this occuring to blacks? Or is it only to whites? I can only recall it happening to whites.

            1. Restoras   13 years ago

              If they only target whites the agents can't be accused of profiling and/or racism, and jeopardize...what, I wonder? Certainly not thier sacrosanct pensions/jobs/benefits/vacation time.

      2. tarran   13 years ago

        It's incidents like this that will hopefully awaken the common man to the realization that government is no longer there to serve and protect the citizens, it is there to serve and protect itself.

        There was a time when this wasn't true?

        1. Restoras   13 years ago

          Probably not but it seems to have gotten way out of hand.

    3. fish   13 years ago

      What is wrong with U.S. citizens?

      I'm not sure there is enough time to cover all of it...

      Oh yeah.....stand still and cease crying!

      1. Sy   13 years ago

        An unwillingness of parents to support BigOrbitalBoneRepair is the first problem that must be addressed.

    4. Jerryskids   13 years ago

      I had to walk away from the internet when I read this article yesterday. The fact that this lady would stand there and let these goons rape her baby and not kill somebody is beyond me. That's why I haven't been in an airport in about 8 years, though. Last time I flew, just the very idea of knowing what was going on and knowing it wasn't fundamentally any different than the Jews shuffling on board the cattle cars put me so close to snapping that I knew if I ever flew again somebody was going to die.

      1. Sy   13 years ago

        ^^THIS^^

        Any parent willing to watch their kids become traumatized isn't getting any sympathy from me. You might not be able to leave, but you sure the fuck can break a nose or arm or two before you're hauled away.

        1. Drake   13 years ago

          Doesn't sound like Dad was there.

          If it was my kid...

        2. robc   13 years ago

          You can leave. Well, technically, they may argue its a crime to leave after starting thru security, but fuck that. Rent a car and drive home.

        3. Timrek   13 years ago

          In truth this is my biggest fear of flying. If someone did this to my son (5) or daughter (9), they would get hurt. Then I'd get tazered or shot and end up dead or in jail. Far more likely scenario than terrorists.

          1. Sy   13 years ago

            Same here. Depends on the lesson you want your kids to walk away with, I guess. "Kids, you saw Daddy get tazered because Dad doesn't let strangers touch his kids" seems a better lesson than "Kids, I'll let anyone in a uniform fondle you if it means we get to Disney land faster".

        4. Zeb   13 years ago

          Getting violent would not help. For better or worse, most people have better things to do than to fuck up their lives making a principled stand. I doubt mom or dad going to prison for assaulting a TSA dick will make the little girl's life better. Fortunately, most people in airports have better self control than some commenter on here. Not that I wouldn't say "right on" if someone did kick the TSA dick's ass, but it's not going to help anything, really.

          1. $?? ???? Sparky   13 years ago

            You'll understand when you have kids of your own.?

      2. Zeb   13 years ago

        "Rape"? really?

        I don't like this either, those asshole behaved completely inappropriately (the TSA that is), but rape means something different from what happened here.

        1. Chris Mallory   13 years ago

          "Finger bang" work better for you?

        2. Jerryskids   13 years ago

          All you need do is look up "rape". It has less to do with sex than with domination. Somebody getting pissed off at a little girl publicly challenging his authoritah so he has to sadistically assert his dominance? That's a pretty sick puppy right there.

          And while you may think teaching your kids that it is better to live on your knees than to die on your feet is no big deal, some of us know that if you live on your knees you will die on your knees.

    5. $?? ???? Sparky   13 years ago

      Look at it this way Joe, at least you have time to plan how to navigate your new little daughter through shit like this.

      1. Joe M   13 years ago

        No girls yet, just two little boys. And hopefully, we won't need to fly anywhere.

        1. $?? ???? Sparky   13 years ago

          My mistake, I thought last week you said your new one was a girl.

          1. Joe M   13 years ago

            I'm not licensed to have daughters yet.

    6. Paul.   13 years ago

      God fucking damn it. Seriously? Is it just the couple dozen of us lowly commenters here that see how fucked this is?

      That's correct. Approximately 50% of the libertarian population is rather upset at this.

      1. Crackers Boy   13 years ago

        And the other half hasn't heard about it yet..

        CB

  8. ant1sthenes   13 years ago

    It's like someone perfectly hybridized the evil of Nazis with the brainlessness of Idiocracy. Though I guess Brazil predicted this.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   13 years ago

      Be safe be suspicious.

  9. Joe M   13 years ago

    TSA has reviewed the incident and determined that our officers followed proper current screening procedures in conducting a modified pat-down on the child.

    "Roolz are roolz, aftur all."

  10. Episiarch   13 years ago

    Yes, yelling at a 4-year-old is a tried and true method of getting them to stop crying. The TSA genius must have learned that in retard school, or, as they call it, "training".

    1. Joe M   13 years ago

      Look at it this way. The fact that they have no idea how to handle kids gives me hope that they haven't bred, and never will.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder   13 years ago

        Keep hoping. Their little spawn will be sucking at the teat of government before you know it.

        1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

          Too late.

      2. BakedPenguin   13 years ago

        This would be a reason for hope if there weren't so many bad parents.

        1. nicole   13 years ago

          Yeah. I'm pretty sure she learned this line from my mom.

    2. Paul.   13 years ago

      Yes, yelling at a 4-year-old is a tried and true method of getting them to stop crying. The TSA genius must have learned that in retard school, or, as they call it, "training".

      On my last trip the TSA asshat asked for my boarding pass. I handed it to him, but my passport was also in my hand.

      He looked at me like I was an idiot and said sharply, "Boarding pass!" at which time I huffed and shoved it closer to him."

      He figured it out.

      I don't know why I just told that story, except as a tangential to the hate I have for the TSA.

  11. Restoras   13 years ago

    I don't blame the TSA anymore at this point - they are just mindless agents of the state.

    Congress, on the other hand, apparently has plenty of time to investigate 'roids in baseball and engage in all kinds of idiotic theater about that, not too mention find lots of time to not put a budget together and spend us into oblivion.

    Was there ever a time that Congress demanded accountability from those it charges to protect and serve us? When did We The People become They The Sheeple?

    If it had been me I'm not sure I could control my rage at the TSO. Would I have ended up dead? Are those assholes armed?

    1. sarcasmic   13 years ago

      I don't blame the TSA anymore at this point

      I do. Nobody forced them to apply for the job. Fuck them.

      1. Restoras   13 years ago

        You know what - you are right. To bad I can't edit that post.

        1. Paul.   13 years ago

          The kind of people that would knowingly apply for a job they know everyone fucking hates? Yeah, those kind of people. Fuck 'em.

      2. Kwanzaa Cake   13 years ago

        Not to mention, "procedures" might permit them to do what they did to this girl, but I doubt they require it. Any person with an ounce of sense would have let her through. These fucking mindless government lackies do this shit because they get off on the temporary "power" they have. Elsewhere in life they'd be handing fries through the drive through window or polishing your floors. They've been granted authority for the first -- and only -- time in their lives, and they are going to fucking use it before it gets taken away.

    2. Hell's Librarian   13 years ago

      I don't blame the TSA anymore at this point - they are just mindless agents of the state.

      I was trying to think how I would handle this situation if I were a TSA hack, and I couldn't, because I can't imagine doing that job and looking at myself in the mirror. Seriously, working at McDonald's is at least honest work.

      1. sarcasmic   13 years ago

        They do it for the power. They can give orders and really fuck with someone's day if they don't obey.

        So yeah. Fuck them.

      2. Invisible Finger   13 years ago

        But spitting in a customer's food isn't sociopathic enough for some people.

        1. Mensan   13 years ago

          Spitting? That's an amateur move.

    3. $?? ???? Sparky   13 years ago

      You know who else were just mindless agents of the state?

  12. Kaptious Kristen   13 years ago

    Proper procedures were followed. Move along.

    I SAID MOVE THE FUCK ALONG!

    1. Hugh Akston   13 years ago

      STOP CRYING!

      1. fish   13 years ago

        STOP CRYING...that's so unprofessional....it's CEASE crying!

      2. Joe M   13 years ago

        This calls for a neologism: crysisting.

  13. Peter L   13 years ago

    Poor kid. I am imagining my daughters going through something like that, and having nightmares for weeks pretty much sums up how they would react.

    1. Loki   13 years ago

      In my case the nightmares would be caused more by seeing their dad go into full Hulk mode and beat a couple of the TSOs to death before getting shot by a sheriff's deputy.

      1. Dr. Frankenstein   13 years ago

        This is why I can't risk flying with my children.

        1. Paul.   13 years ago

          This is why I always fly with my child. I'm just waiting for the chance...

  14. sarcasmic   13 years ago

    This is why I don't fly.
    If someone singled out my daughter for a groping I would be going to jail for assault and battery.

    1. jasno   13 years ago

      This.

      Y'all keep bitching yet y'all keep flying. Don't like the TSA? Stop. Fucking. Flying.

      1. Paul.   13 years ago

        Y'all keep bitching yet y'all keep flying. Don't like the TSA? Stop. Fucking. Flying.

        And we bitch about gas taxes and we keep driving.

        We bitch about income taxes, yet we keep working.

        Funny that.

  15. JW   13 years ago

    "There's no crying in terrorism!"

    1. Loki   13 years ago

      TSO: "Janet Napolitano was my manager, and she called me a talking pile of pigshit. And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me grope 4 year olds. And did I cry?"

      4 Year old: No

      TSO: Yeah! NO. And do you know why?

      4 Year old: No

      TSO: Because there's no crying in terrorism. THERE'S NO CRYING IN TERRORISM! No crying!

      1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

        "Janet, anyone ever tell you that hairdo makes you look like a penis?"

  16. $?? ???? Sparky   13 years ago

    Maybe this is out of line, but what are the odds the mother was one of the "if you haven't done anything wrong" types?

    They treated my daughter no better than if she had been a terrorist.

    Would she have thought it was alright if it was somebody else's kid? I guess I'm just getting too cynical for this.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   13 years ago

      Odds are pretty high I would suspect. Mom probably wets herself at the sight of a head scarf.

    2. Joe M   13 years ago

      Hopefully not, but this could just be a case of snowflake.

    3. SugarFree   13 years ago

      Whatever the mother believes doesn't mean the kid deserves what she got.

      1. T   13 years ago

        Yup. Mom may be a full-on soccer mom safety nazi twunt, but that doesn't mean a four year old kid deserves to be terrorized by TSA goons.

        1. Paul.   13 years ago

          Yup. Mom may be a full-on soccer mom safety nazi twunt, but that doesn't mean a four year old kid deserves to be terrorized by TSA goons.

          I'm on the fence on this.

          It's the safety nazi procedure-following, zero-tolerance twunts that got us where we are today. Society: needs more self awareness because this shit doesn't happen in a vacuum.

          1. Joe M   13 years ago

            Better the soccer moms than their innocent children.

      2. $?? ???? Sparky   13 years ago

        No it doesn't, I certainly agree with that. And hopefully this girl will remember this for the rest of her life. Maybe even to the point that she'll be able to do something about it when she grows up. Maybe every terrorized child will grow into someone with a better outlook on how people should be treated.

        1. Loki   13 years ago

          Or perhaps their memories of abuse at the hands of agents of the state will turn them into something much more dangerous - libertarians.

          1. grylliade   13 years ago

            Say it ain't so! If she's a libertarian, she'll steal elections out of the hands of those who rightfully deserve them -- Republocrats and Democricans.

    4. Hell's Librarian   13 years ago

      I dunno. Having undergone trying to schlep a wailing kid through security (and it wasn't nearly as egregious back then as it is now... was right after the Shoe Bomber so everyone had to take off their damn shoes, but they weren't doing the patdowns and such), I can personally attest to it becoming very frazzling very fast. (Kid was screaming and crying because her teddy had to go thru the belt scanner, which involved removing it from her hot little hands, but at least the agents at that time were understanding and trying to move faster and help calm her down, they weren't screaming at her and terrorizing her.)

    5. Sy   13 years ago

      "Would she have thought it was alright if it was somebody else's kid? I guess I'm just getting too cynical for this."

      We live in the age of helicopter parenting. Moms reporting anybody that happens to damage the fragile psyche of their little shits to the cops. They don't want anyone touching or looking at their kid without having them thrown on a sex-offender registry, but for some reason, this is totally cool.

  17. SugarFree   13 years ago

    They'll review their procedures, not change them and then review them again when this happens again.

    9/11 let every authoritarian fantasy that these shitbags always wanted to play out be implemented.

    And no sympathy for the TSA workers themselves. They either don't know what they are doing is wrong, or don't give a shit. Either way, we'd be better off having them dig ditches or break rocks or whatever kind of job moral idiots are suitable to do.

    1. Joe M   13 years ago

      And no sympathy for the TSA workers themselves.

      Seriously. You're pretty much scum if you have no qualms about screaming at a little girl in pursuit of your cherished procedures.

    2. Loki   13 years ago

      They either don't know what they are doing is wrong, or don't give a shit.

      Maybe I'm just too cynical, but my money's on the latter. I think you'd have to be some kind twisted perverted sociopath to actually want to work as a TSA screener. They're just a bunch of pathetic little shitstains who only took the job because of the misplaced sense of AUTHORITAY. The feeling of superiority that those fuckwads must feel when they get to humiliate a senior citizen, or feel up a crying 4 year old probably gives them colossal fucking stiffies.

    3. Zeb   13 years ago

      I'd guess that most either don't give a shit, or actually believe that they are doing good. Always watch out for people who think that they are doing good.

    4. Paul.   13 years ago

      And no sympathy for the TSA workers themselves. They either don't know what they are doing is wrong, or don't give a shit. Either way, we'd be better off having them dig ditches or break rocks or whatever kind of job moral idiots are suitable to do.

      Imagine yourself working for the TSA. Now imagine a 4-fucking-year-old running back through and hugging your grandmother. Your choices are:

      1. Scream at the 4-yo and demand she's going to get physically handled by a group of strangers.
      2. Smile, and calmly inform her that she'll have to go back through the security checkpoint like she did before... without patdown BECAUSE THERE'S NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HER HUGGING HER GRANDMA TWO SECONDS AFTER GOING THROUGH THE CHECKPOINT AND SPENDING THE LAST FOUR YEARS IN THE PRESENCE OF PEOPLE THE TSA HAS NEVER MET.

      So regarding the 'patdown' of the 4-yo. WTF?

      They can send her back through the metal detector. That patdown thing was completely unnecessary and illogical, and was used specifically to intimidate the family and the 4-yo.

      Fuck these tsa motherfuckers, and I'm going to continue to berate the living fucking tar out of every cowardly fuckstick who works for that organization, until they quit in tears because they wake up having nightmares every night.

  18. RedDragon6009   13 years ago

    TSA has reviewed the incident and determined that our officers followed proper current screening procedures in conducting a modified pat-down on the child.

    How reassuring it is for parents to know that this happened exactly like it was supposed to and that this procedure will continue to be implemented by the petty criminals we hired to ensure the safety of our nation.

    1. Kwanzaa Cake   13 years ago

      The safety of the nation was secured against airplane attacks when we bolted the cockpit doors shut. Fuck, even United 93 did not make it to its target when the terrorists were flying the plane. The rest of this shit is almost completely pointless.

  19. Bingo   13 years ago

    Land of the free, home of the brave, my fucking ass.

    1. Loki   13 years ago

      Land of the free enslaved, home of the brave cowardly.

  20. NoVAHockey   13 years ago

    I've taken to opting out and getting groped. I try to take note of the reaction of other passengers. Some encouraging nods, some eyerolls. most seem to want to avoid eye contract.

    Based on nothing but my own observations, people won't object until its their turn to be abused by the system.

    I'm dreading taking my 3-year-old on a family trip later this year.

    1. Hugh Akston   13 years ago

      I always opt out. I'm thinking of getting some kind of teeshirt made for when I fly.

      1. Dagny T.   13 years ago

        I opt out too. I am usually the only one.

        Pro-tip: if flying in warm weather, wear a skirt (kilt, whatever) or really tiny shorts- they tend to grope a little lower on the thigh that way. Freedom!

        1. $?? ???? Sparky   13 years ago

          Thanks, want to go on a plane with me sometime?

        2. Bingo   13 years ago

          Guess I'm going to have to pick up on of those Australian Football uniforms after all.

        3. Hugh Akston   13 years ago

          Shorts are a good idea, but I would add a more direct deterrent.

      2. Loki   13 years ago

        I'm thinking of getting some kind of teeshirt made for when I fly.

        Despair.com's ahead of you.

        1. Ted S.   13 years ago

          No offense, but what antisocial networking shit are they trying to push on people?

          The page caused my browser to freeze while I was trying to load it in the background, and when I got to the page, it was on element 36 of 255 -- with the T-shirt photo visible and the status bar saying it was trying to connect to Facebook.

    2. Loki   13 years ago

      The eyerolls would piss me right the fuck off. They're clearly the dipshits who have bought into the whole "it's for your own good, you don't want the terrorists to win do you?" bullshit.

      Little do they realize the terrorists already won. The second we started willingly exchanging even a little freedom for "security", they won.

      1. sarcasmic   13 years ago

        By "they" do you mean the terrorists, or the ruling class?

        1. Loki   13 years ago

          The ruling class knows full well what they're doing. The "they" is refering to the sheeple rolling their eyes.

        2. Paul.   13 years ago

          By "they" do you mean the terrorists, or the ruling class?

          Yes.

          The ruling class need the terrorists to remain the ruling class.

      2. $?? ???? Sparky   13 years ago

        You just made me think of something great. When you step out for your pat down, stand there in a Jesus on the cross pose. If anyone meets your eyes just say "I'm doing this for you".

        1. NoVAHockey   13 years ago

          bonus points if a virgin weeps at your feet.

    3. Kaptious Kristen   13 years ago

      I opt out too. I also opt out of a private grope and do it right there in public.

      One time one of the dimwitted TSA drones (who was a very nice young lady with a "degree" in "criminal justice" from ITT Tech) asked why, and I told her she wouldn't understand. And what I meant by that was she was totally 100% incapable of understanding.

      1. $?? ???? Sparky   13 years ago

        Plus if you told her the actual reason it would have just delayed you even further as she called for backup.

      2. Paul.   13 years ago

        dimwitted TSA drones

        Unnecessary redundancy, just say TSA-- that presumes dimwitted and drone.

  21. heller   13 years ago

    Excuse me sir I just needs to check inside ya asshooooole.

    1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

      OH MY!

    2. Joe M   13 years ago

      I'm a big boy.

  22. Hugh Akston   13 years ago

    When my scared child could not do so, two TSOs called for backup saying "The suspect is not cooperating." The suspect, of course, being a frightened child.

    This is all anyone need to know about the TSA.

    1. Bingo   13 years ago

      Seriously, how much of a clueless boot-licking by-the-books asshole do you have to be to utter those words about a child?

    2. Zeb   13 years ago

      And what the fuck did they suspect her of?

  23. Loki   13 years ago

    "You're a fiesty little one, but you'll soon learn some respect."

    1. NoVAHockey   13 years ago

      Soon we'll all be fit with a restraining bolt.

      1. $?? ???? Sparky   13 years ago

        Shock collars seem the more effective way to go.

        1. perlhaqr   13 years ago

          Heart plugs.

    2. Paul.   13 years ago

      Bad analogy. The Jawas could be reasoned and bargained with.

  24. R C Dean   13 years ago

    TSA has reviewed the incident and determined that our officers followed proper current screening procedures in conducting a modified pat-down on the child.

    So, TSA is saying that, on the whole, chasing a screaming, frightened child through the airport in order to seize her and pat her down, is exactly how they want situations like this handled in the future.

    1. T   13 years ago

      Actually, they'd like to use tazers on anyone non-complaint. But even a sociopath can recognize that looks bad to the rest of the sheep.

      1. sarcasmic   13 years ago

        how long before they're using cattle prods?

  25. StoptheTSA   13 years ago

    TSA is under the executive branch. Obama could stop the patdowns and x-rays with an executive order. Call your losers in congress and give them a piece of your mind.

    Nazi TSA agent harasses and tries to intimidate me:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3v571Yo82I

  26. Karl Hungus   13 years ago

    "My mommy always said there were no monsters - no real ones - but there are."

    1. db   13 years ago

      This sums it up very well. Thanks, Newt.

  27. Killazontherun   13 years ago

    I don't know how the rest of you go through life without the ability to induce aneurisms in the skulls of your enemies. It must be terribly frustrating.

    1. juris imprudent   13 years ago

      You could probably freak a TSA dupe out if you stared really hard at them and said you were doing that to make their head explode, just like in Scanners.

  28. A Frayed Knot   13 years ago

    This is absolutely infuriating and is a clear of example of what happens when government employees rely on procedures rather than any sort of thought.

    However, for those who are scared of taking their kids on a plane, I will offer the counter example of my recent experience flying internationally with my 2 kids, 4.5 and 2. The TSA agents were actually very patient and helpful and made security a breeze.

    Let's be honest - these horror stories are going to get highlighted because good service doesn't make news. And Reason is going further highlight these stories because it fits with their view that the TSA is less than useless (which I agree with). But let's not overreact to these kinds of stories by refusing to fly because of an overblown fear of TSA agents.

    1. Paul.   13 years ago

      This is absolutely infuriating and is a clear of example of what happens when government employees rely on procedures rather than any sort of thought.

      This shit is everwhere. And I fear it was my generation that was the beginning of it. Somewhere, possibly the baby-boomers, started teaching kids in school that you could avert any tragedy by creating procedures to avoid them.

      I can't get a handle on it, but it's everywhere, and it's heavily prevalent in my daughter's school. At least a couple of times a month I have to debrief my child on some incident that happened at the school, and teach her that by using judgement and thought, a situation could have been avoided, instead of just clamping down tighter on rules.

      1. Mad Scientist   13 years ago

        It's all about buck passing. If you follow the proper procedures, no matter how fucked up the outcome, then you can't be blamed.

  29. Invisible Finger   13 years ago

    TSA: The Birthday Clowns of security.

  30. Crackers Boy   13 years ago

    "TSA - we put the Line in Air Line."

    CB

  31. The Morrigan's Pet   13 years ago

    I didn't know it was possible to pin a badge to a bag of trash.

  32. NickM   13 years ago

    The infamous video of the TSA agents swabbing the little boy in the wheelchair for possible explosives reminded me of the Milgram experiment. That is what happens when you insist to ordinary people that they do things in the name of following orders that they ordinarily wouldn't do.

    These agents, OTOH, come across as the kind of people who have no friends.

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