Regulation

Contest: Guess Why This Jacket Has Been Recalled

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Last week, the Consumer Product Safety Commission announced a voluntary recall of this boys' jacket:

Ten points to the commenter who correctly spots the (visible) reason for the recall.

Answer: here. Note particularly what happened between 1997 and 2011.

Hint: Via Lenore Skenazy of Free-Range Kids.

Plus this, from the Reason archives.

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  1. Damn, for a moment I thought Nick died.

    1. That would require a manhunt for the jacket, not a product recall.

      1. A recall would be in order if The Jacket were on a search and destroy mission.

    2. If you can appreciate the beauty in both men and women and find yourself attracted to the person regardless of their gender, then Datebi*cO’M is the site for you. Here you can find hundreds of thousands of open-minded singles & couples looking to explore their bisexuality.rtgiuyopi

  2. Ten points to the commenter who correctly spots the (visible) reason for the recall

    It is the drawstrings, duh. What does my ten points get me?

    1. I thought it was because the design was so hot, it was ON FIRE!

    2. Perhaps you get a date on Datebi*cO’M.

  3. I’d guess its the toggles dangling from the end of the waist drawstrings.

  4. They should have recalled this jacket:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..ilson.html

    1. I’ve got a better idea. Outlaw capris on men.

    2. Those are some ugly tourists.

      1. when i went to france for the student exchange, my mother miraculously materialized one of those tourist windbreakers. I think she’s a witch.

    3. Surely Jude Law can do better. (Hint: I’m not talking about his fashion)

    4. I guess that wardrobe will dispel any rumors he’s gay.

  5. I’m guessing those dangly drawstrings could easily get caught on the heavy machinery that kids routinely work during their 12-hour shifts at the Libertarian Hate and Monocle Factory.

    1. Only 12 hours? Lazy kids these days!!

      1. each shift is only 12hours, but they have to work three of them in a row before they get a break.

        1. I’m thinking of opening either a spatsery, or a penny-farthing bicycle shop. I could use about two dozen street urchins with lovable lower-class British accents, but the local temp agency keeps hanging up on me when I call.

          Help a brother out?

          1. Not looking to pass the top hat, mind you… I plan on getting financing from the East India Company. I just need some lovable ragamuffins to do the dirty work.

    2. Call it a ranch and you can even get by with putting it in NM without MSM wrath.

  6. Ah, a siting of the mythical slippery slope:

    . In 1997, those guidelines were incorporated into a voluntary standard. Then in July 2011, based on the guidelines and voluntary standard, CPSC issued a federal regulation.

    1. Didn’t you post in an earlier thread about how things start as guidelines and later become mandatory?

      You already knew about this when you posted that, didn’t you?

      1. Not specifically, but it happens all the time in the healthcare field.

        We’re getting a good hard dose of it now from Medicare. I guess they must think that because we’re a hospital, we have our own lube supply, but they’re sure not bringing any.

        1. Not specifically, but it happens all the time in the healthcare field.
          There, fixed that.

          This is why I get so goddamned insane when they pass a moronic seat-belt law that will only be enforced “on top of something else”. Sooner or later, the nannies in charge decide that they just can’t rely on you to think for yourself and suffer the consequences.

          God, I hate our government.

          1. “Our” government. How cute.

            1. if you don’t renounce your citizenship and leave the country blah blah implicit agreement blah blah social contract. Fuck You, that’s why.

  7. The CPSC has determined that arms pose an entanglement hazard for children. All children with arms are to be recalled and replaced with children without arms.

    1. The cafeteria staff is complaining about the mice in the kitchen.

      I want to hire a new staff.

    2. No, even kids have a right to keep and bear arms.

  8. I thought it could lead children into playing soccer. Which is totally boring and lame.

    1. Jersey Shore has turned America’s men metro enough to make soccer acceptable.

      1. I refuse to pretend to like soccer. This is America. We watch football.

        1. They watch Football in Europe, too!

        2. This is America. We watch football.

          Yes, we do. Turn on ESPN2. There’s a great football game in America airing as we speak.

          1. Arsenal-Newcastle was great Tuesday afternoon, although I am a Newcastle fan so I was disappointed in the 94th-freaking-minute. AAAARRRGGGHHH

  9. I’d have guessed something having to do with the EU.

  10. True story:

    Our son, who is Very ADHD, had a jacket like this. One day, at little league, he was standing near a chain-link fence outside while some adult was talking. He tied the drawstring around the fence, in a tight knot, and then started yanking on it, hard, pulling the knot tighter and tighter and basically tying himself to the fence. We eventually had to cut it away. He was 9 years old at the time. I told the kid that was a dumb thing to do and not to do it again. I guess I should have sued.

    1. This one time … at band camp …

    2. I told the kid that was a dumb thing to do and not to do it again awesome, and we highfived.

    3. Sounds like drawstrings on jackets are the least of your worries. Where are all the matches in your house?

  11. Wait, you had your kid tied to the fence, and then you cut him loose? I’m not following.

    1. missed your ritalin today?

  12. Bar Refaeli, still hawt!

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..shoot.html

  13. I’m gonna go contrarian and say they could choke on the collar. But I’ll split my 10 point with anyone above if the real reason is they were afraid they’d tie their peckers up with the strings, leading to premature priapism. You can’t be too careful with priapism.

    1. “And Nurse: Keep an eye on that priapism!”

      “Oh, I will, Doctor.”

  14. Children will hang themselves on the string.

  15. Incidents/Injuries: None reported

    Manufactured in: China

    Impossibru!!!

  16. I’m calling shenanigans on this contest.

    You can’t award points when you link to the answer right away. noobs.

    1. Yah that’s pretty lame.

      1. You say that like I looked at the answer before answering myself. Of course I did. Incentives, how do they fucking work?

  17. My guess without readjng comments: zipper goes all the way up and can catch neck skin if uncarefully zipped up.

    1. I was thinking along the same lines. Maybe skin caught in zipper, or fully zipped, the neckhole is too narrow and could cause suffocation. I’ll go look at the answer now.

  18. The logo’s on the wrong side?

  19. I thought it was going to be that the zipper looks like a tongue depressor and children would choke on it playing doctor (phrasing!).

  20. It’s red. That will attract sharks if anyone goes swimming with it on. Obviously.

    1. And Bulls!!!

  21. That thing is a damn fire trap!

    1. My kids use smokeless tobacco, so they’d be fine.

  22. it says the jacket’s drawstrings offer an “entrapment hazard”

    do these drawstrings offer a blowjob in exchange for a line of coke or something?

  23. At least we are getting closer to the government’s ultimate goal of making anything that’s not prohibited, mandatory.

  24. Here in Columbus today, all the local TV news and the newspaper, The Dispatch, had stories about the dangers of stairs in homes. Thank god that the children’s hospital educated us that if you fall while carrying your baby down the stairs you might get hurt. Maybe the CPSC will all require us to put bright yellow warning stickers on our stairs.

    1. Remember: When descending stairs with a baby, always toss them down ahead of you.

      1. If you are going to go that route, remember to put a pitchfork rack at the bottom of the stairs. That way the baby won’t crawl off while you are safely descending the stairs.

    2. Maybe the CPSC will all require us to put bright yellow warning stickers on our stairs.

      Naw … they will go for the more expensive fix … airbags.

    3. The mandating of home elevators will create many jobs and jumpstart the economy.

  25. Guys, it’s the dyes used in the red coloring. Known by the state of California to cause cancer, preventing its sale.

    Where are my 10 fucking points? I expect a shout-out in my morning links.

    1. aw fuck, it was the drawstring. Oh well.

  26. The maxipad on the front is offensive to feminists.

  27. Remedy: Consumers should immediately remove the drawstring and return the jacket to Umbro for a full refund.

    They make it sound like defusing a bomb that’s about to go off. Seriously though – what the fuck is wrong with people? You’d think the problem could be considered solved at “remove the drawstring.”

  28. Nobody has yet pointed out this part of the story:

    “Incidents/Injuries: None reported”

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