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I've Got Two Words for You: Lawn Darts
"Even outdated children's coats can pose risks, experts say." That warning nicely captures the spirit of this hysterical (in both senses) USA Today exposé of yard sales, those snakepits of recalled toys and no-longer-approved apparel. In what way can outdated children's coats pose risks? Health writer Kim Painter never quite gets around to telling us. Presumably she is not referring to the risk of taunts from peers who are scornful of your child's out-of-style hand-me-down clothes. Possibly she is thinking that an older coat might have a drawstring around the hood, which "can cause strangulation." Or maybe she means that the buttons could be attached with thread that the Consumer Product Safety Commission later deemed inadequately thick; after all, such buttons, if swallowed and lodged in a child's windpipe, can cause suffocation.
Painter also wants parents to be "extremely cautious" about "used cribs or other nursery gear," since "anything over five years old may not meet safety standards." The phrase "death trap" appears. Yet Painter is not talking about a crib that's so rickety it could collapse at any moment or so worn that your baby could be impaled by shards of wood; presumably you would notice such hazards. She is talking about a crib that's just like the one in which you, or even your older children, slept for years without injury, but that has been retroactively declared unsafe by government regulators. For Painter, who is dismayed by the fact that most people fail to return recalled products even though the government says they should, exercising independent judgment in assessing and addressing a putative hazard is unthinkable.
Some toys, for instance, have been recalled because they contain small, powerful magnets that, if removed and swallowed by a toddler, can cause internal injury. Upon hearing of this risk, you could a) immediately put the toy in a secure container and rush it back to the retailer before this lurking evil kills anyone in your family or b) decide to keep the toy away from little kids who might disassemble it and swallow the pieces. As far as Painter is concerned, only the first course of action is acceptable. Not panicking is not an option.
Painter is so mistrustful of your judgment and common sense that she warns you to "never buy or sell a used car seat or bike helmet [emphasis added]." Why? "If it has been in an accident," she explains, "it might not work properly." If you're the one selling a car seat or bike helmet, wouldn't you know whether it had been in an accident?
[Thanks to Jennifer Abel for the tip.]
|4.16.08 @ 1:32PM|#
This all sounds very wasteful. Is it ok to have masses of perfectly reusable stuff piling up in landfills because it's for the children?
|4.16.08 @ 1:33PM|#
You can not find Lawn Darts for love or money. I'd pay $2,000 for a like new condition set in the original packaging.
|4.16.08 @ 1:34PM|#
Holy crap. I never realized why I couldn't find sweatshirts with drawstrings around the hoods. I lament the fact that I can no longer keep the wind from rushing down my hoodie. Bastards.
|4.16.08 @ 1:34PM|#
I saw "lawn darts" and thought "F-16 Fighting Falcon."
Eh, the F-16s in our inventory probably aren't yard sale worthy,
but I'll take that guitar off your hands...
Abdul|4.16.08 @ 1:37PM|#
Warren,
I don't have any lawn darts to sell you, but I can give you a nice
pair of rusty railroad spikes.
|4.16.08 @ 1:38PM|#
Anyone who buys a used bike helmet is insane. It's like buying used underwear, you never know where it's been.
Abdul|4.16.08 @ 1:39PM|#
Also, based on personal experience, if you do get a vintage car seat at the yard sale, never mention this to parents in your child's yuppie play group. They will not marvel at your thrift. You will get to talk to the the very peristent lady from Family Services, though.
Elemenope|4.16.08 @ 1:39PM|#
I always figured Lawn Darts to be bocce for people who enjoyed more martial playing pieces, so they could pretend they were practicing to hunt and gather or kill crawling al-Qaida operatives or somesuch, instead of just throwing big heavy balls at some smaller, more taciturn ball.
|4.16.08 @ 1:40PM|#
Anyone who buys a used bike helmet is insane. It's like buying
used underwear, you never know where it's been what
kind of crack's it's covered up.
Irwin Mainway|4.16.08 @ 1:42PM|#
Yeah, well, look - you know, the average kid, he picks up, you know, broken glass anywhere, you know? The beach, the street, garbage cans, parking lots, all over the place in any big city. We're just packaging what the kids want! I mean, it's a creative toy, you know? If you hold this up, you know, you see colors, every color of the rainbow! I mean, it teaches him about light refraction, you know? Prisms, and that stuff! You know what I mean?
Taktix®|4.16.08 @ 1:42PM|#
"Even outdated children's coats can pose risks,
experts say."
Ahh, the catch-all phrase to legitimize some shit you just made
up.
Let me try:
My penis is 13 inches long, experts say.
|4.16.08 @ 1:52PM|#
Never one to miss a link to my favorite Leveebilly artist, Mike West, I present Yard Sale!
|4.16.08 @ 1:53PM|#
I'm a journalist, and I'm so fucking sick of the phrase "experts
say" that I'm ready to take an Uzi to the next dickbarb who uses it
in my office.
They ought to teach whole fucking courses on why you should NEVER
use "experts say."
They ought to have involuntary shock treatments built into computer
keyboards whenever the phrase "experts say" is typed.
"Experts" said that a reduction of 4 heart attacks in one year in a
town of 30,000 people was proof that the Helena, Montana, smoking
ban was protecting public health.
"Experts" are almost always professional hacks who have a
ideological axe to grind or who want to keep people scared enough
that the government grants keep flowing in.
So hear this: Any time you see the phrase "experts say" in a story,
roll up the newspaper and shove it up the ass of the next reporter
you see. Because "experts" are just a full of shit -- probably even
moreso -- than the fat, beer-smelling chronic masturbator next
door.
TallDave|4.16.08 @ 1:58PM|#
Hmm, lawn darts, a helmet, and a bike.
Does anyone else think that sounds like a fun new game?
|4.16.08 @ 1:59PM|#
You know what else fucks my eardrum? The use of the phrase
"public money."
If I were the editor of this sack of shit paper I work for, I'd
tell every reporter that if they ever use "public money" in a story
that they'd get a fucking broken beer bottle shoved into their
lower back.
The phrase is "taxpayer money." Fucking commie cunts I work with,
anyway.
|4.16.08 @ 2:01PM|#
Just when I convince myself that I can no longer read Reason
articles (because of the despair and anger I feel after)...I read
the comments section and my faith in humanity is restored ;-)
"Even outdated children's coats can pose risks, experts
say."
Ahh, the catch-all phrase to legitimize some shit you just made
up.
Let me try:
My penis is 13 inches long, experts say.
First Little Pig|4.16.08 @ 2:01PM|#
I demand a study of children mortality figures from five, ten,
15, 20, and 30 years ago and a thorough breakdown of what the
causes were.
I guarandamntee that all this child safety nonsense has little to
really protect children and has cost a great deal of money.
Does Kim Painter wonder how she survived childhood? Or how the rest
of us did? How about this: how many of you have even an anecdotal
story about a child you really knew of killed by one of the
culprits named in the story?
They can have my lawn darts when they pry them from the forehead of
my cold dead child!
alan|4.16.08 @ 2:03PM|#
Hey Ms. Painter, you missed your deadline by two weeks and two days. That joke you are pulling is some seriously twisted, crazy shit.
|4.16.08 @ 2:05PM|#
The fact that most recalled products are not returned is likely
for two reasons. Ignorance of the recall and disdain for government
regulators. My SWAG is that the split is 50/50. If
everybody knew about a recall ~25% of affected products
would be returned.
And it's is common knowledge that garage and yard sales is as is.
Caveat emptor.
Kim Painter isn't calling for regulation and enforcement, so I'll
not belittle her.
Bronwyn|4.16.08 @ 2:07PM|#
Put some training wheels on that bike (used, natch) and you got
yerself some real fun!
I've got two acres at my place, who's coming?
|4.16.08 @ 2:08PM|#
Warren - we should talk. I have a brand new set, box never been
opened. Retrieved them from my mom's basement last year when she
was moving, where they'd been sitting for 30+ years.
Of course I'm kidding. I'm sure that even talking about selling
lawn darts is a crime.
What would happen if I brought them out and played a rousing game
in my front yard with my son?
|4.16.08 @ 2:09PM|#
Cribs that you and your brother slept in may indeed be
retroactively dangerous. It was not until, I believe, the 60s, that
cribs with bars far enough apart to admit an infant's head and
cribs with drop-down sides that dropped down without apparent
cause, were banned. If you think these cribs are fine, put your
children and grandchildren in them.
I had bought a beautiful wrought-iron crib and painted and repaired
it just as the intrusive federal government was raising a stink
about dangerous cribs. Mine was dangerous. I considered throwing it
away or making a plant stand of it, but in the end I got out the
hacksaw and cut it down. Too bad, I could have saved it for
you.
Glibertarian, I call it.
ed|4.16.08 @ 2:11PM|#
"bring a toilet paper tube. Anything that fits through the
tube is small enough to choke a child"
Sounds like something you'd hear at a NAMBLA meeting.
|4.16.08 @ 2:13PM|#
I'm a journalist, and I'm so fucking sick of the phrase
"experts say" that I'm ready to take an Uzi to the next dickbarb
who uses it in my office.
What paper do you work for, Jamie -- Humorous Profanity-Laced Rants
Weekly?
Zeke|4.16.08 @ 2:13PM|#
"Even outdated children's coats can pose risks, experts
say."
Bah! Little sissyfied, dress-wearing, bed wetters! In my day there
'taint nothing wrong with the warmth that those old asbestos and
lead lined coats gave you. Like sittin' by a fire!
I ain't felt warm in years...candy-ass Gore-tex™ Thinsulate™
crap!...grumble...grumble...
alan|4.16.08 @ 2:15PM|#
I grew up in a rural neighbor hood with a common area where
everyone dragged stuff to be burned. We kids would get our paper
trash together and pile it up.
Once it was lit some one would toss an aerosol can in the middle of
it, and we would play chicken and stand around the fire waiting for
the can to explode.
Also, we would wear heavy coats, sun glasses and shoot each other
in the woods with BB guns. I also wore my bros high school football
helmet though I would get teased for it.
There were not any drugs that I knew of in my elementary school,
but there was a healthy black market in fireworks. Reminds me, I
ran into the biggest delinquent I knew from those golden years, he
is now a Physicist at a university in California.
I wished Ms Painter was my mum, I would have given her a heart
attack.
Zeb|4.16.08 @ 2:17PM|#
Yeah, 5 years ago, babies were dying right and left from dangerous coats and cribs.
|4.16.08 @ 2:27PM|#
"Does Kim Painter wonder how she survived childhood? Or how the
rest of us did?"
No kidding. We played with lawn darts or any other type of dart,
dodgeball, got burned with easy-bake ovens, rode bikes and skates
without helmets, jumped on trampolines, climbed trees and jumped
off roof tops, swam in the ocean or the pool without life
preservers, AND wore drawstring hoodies.
heh, bones and teeth were broken but we lived to see another
day.
|4.16.08 @ 2:28PM|#
Taktix® | April 16, 2008, 1:42pm | #
"Even outdated children's coats can pose risks, experts say."
Ahh, the catch-all phrase to legitimize some shit you just made
up.
Let me try:
My penis is 13 inches long, experts say.
Yeah but are you willing to part with it at your next garage
sale?
|4.16.08 @ 2:29PM|#
Because my mother is a pack-rat, my daughter has made use of my
original (early '70's):
Changing Table
Sit 'n' Spin
Lincoln Logs
Stroller
Army Men
Rattles
...and more
|4.16.08 @ 2:32PM|#
BB guns and fireworks?! Of course, how can I forget those!
I will have to admit that my friends were pretty stupid at handling
them, and I know of one who blew off some fingers and another who
singed his eyelashes...
Bronwyn|4.16.08 @ 2:35PM|#
We used to drink sadiki (moonshine) on the beach, and always had
a spare bottle to bribe the security guards.
Then we played that great game where you make each other pass
out.
And we were a pack of boys and girls...
together!
Livin' on the edge, indeed.
Paul|4.16.08 @ 2:36PM|#
Yeah, and there's a place, that's like, near my house and stuff,
and it's
COVERED in water... and there's no fence around it. And a kid
could drown... and stuff. My new bumper sticker:
Nature is a death trap-- take precautions.
Jennifer|4.16.08 @ 2:37PM|#
I vaguely remember this Barbie knock-off lady motorcyclist doll
I used to have; the doll and her motorcycle were pretty lame, but
the wind-up motorcycle launcher was great for hurling
small projectiles across the room.
Ah, the 70s. How did we ever survive them?
|4.16.08 @ 2:38PM|#
Is it sad that I had to look up lawn darts? I had no idea what
they were...
Which leads me to: If I'm young enough to not remember lawn darts,
am I young enough to let my kids use my crib? (1981). After all
that was post 1960s.
Seriously, though, I'm pregnant and spending a decent amount of my
non-Reason-lurking time baby shopping online. My husband found a
sports car shaped walker he REALLY wants for the baby. SO I looked
it up. Apparently Walkers are now bad.
Why?
26 kids have died since 1975. Why? Because their parents let them
use them upstairs and they fell down the stairs. So when I asked on
a baby message board if there was any other problem with them (as I
live in a 1 story house), I was told that a) didn't I know kids
have DIED and b) a few kids who were left 6+ hours a day in a
walker learned to walk/talk late.
I think we're getting the walker.
Paul|4.16.08 @ 2:38PM|#
Also, based on personal experience, if you do get a vintage
car seat at the yard sale, never mention this to parents in your
child's yuppie play group.
It is interesting how quickly and willingly yuppies became shills
for Big Carseat.
Paul|4.16.08 @ 2:41PM|#
26 kids have died since 1975.
Kimberly, statistically speaking, that means no kids have died from
walkers. I'd get the walker too.
The little tidbits they don't tell you about the 26 kids that died
is that Daddy was in the county lockup and Mamma was in the
bedroom, drunk of her ass while her six-month-old had the run of
the house for 14 hours.
Bronwyn|4.16.08 @ 2:42PM|#
Kimberly, watch out for those bumbo chairs, too. Kids have
DIED
because their parents set them in the chair on the edge of a
countertop and the kids tumped out.
*Recall Madness*
I will tell you that an essential purchase - when your weejun can
sit up - is the Babee
Tenda. My dad had one when he was wee (b. 1948) and I had one,
too (b. 1977), and now my son (b. 2007) has one. It's a classic,
and it's wonderful!
|4.16.08 @ 2:49PM|#
26 kids have died since 1975. Why? Because their parents let
them use them upstairs and they fell down the stairs. So when I
asked on a baby message board if there was any other problem with
them (as I live in a 1 story house), I was told that a) didn't I
know kids have DIED and b) a few kids who were left 6+ hours a day
in a walker learned to walk/talk late.
I think we're getting the walker.
Kimberly, take a bow. That's a threadwinner.
|4.16.08 @ 2:49PM|#
Ah, yes, more fun as a child in the 70s:
... no using silly seat belts so we could slide all over the place
in the back of the station wagon.
... building forts in the woods using hammers, saws and
nails.
... air rifles, sling shots, dirt clog battles (one always had a
rock or two in it).
What else were we going to do when there were no video games and
only 3 TV stations (not counting PBS or crap on UHF).
|4.16.08 @ 3:04PM|#
"Ah, yes, more fun as a child in the 70s:
... no using silly seat belts so we could slide all over the place
in the back of the station wagon."
yeah, that was great. I would lay inside the backseat window of my
dad's Ford LTD and imagine I was in a space capsule.
|4.16.08 @ 3:04PM|#
It's amazing that children always find a way to get hurt, no
matter how many protections you take.
My mom tried to cover all the corners in the house with foam so I
didn't hurt myself while learning to walk and I nearly took out an
eye by falling into the back of the console television.
There's just no winning.
Bronwyn|4.16.08 @ 3:06PM|#
Remember riding on the fold-down armrest in the middle of the
bench seat?
Or in the playpen stashed in the hatchback?
|4.16.08 @ 3:07PM|#
Congratulations to you too, Bronwyn! And I'll check out the
Babee Tenda.
In re-reading my post, it kind of read like I thought the lack of
walking/talking was a positive. I hope it was clear that I think I
can own a baby item w/o leaving my child in it for a ridiculous
amount of time (and I would bet that if you put a child in ANY
seat/walker/crib for an additional six waking hours they might
develop slowly). Just don't want to sound like a crazy idiot.
ed|4.16.08 @ 3:14PM|#
The case studies above prove the point that the Boomer generation was the greatest generation. Normandy, hell. We survived lawn darts and helmetless biking!
|4.16.08 @ 3:21PM|#
"Remember riding on the fold-down armrest in the middle of the
bench seat?"
Yup, I thought it was a built-in booster seat.
I also remember going to the beach in an old station wagon, the
bottom of which was so rusted out it had holes. Many a shoe was
lost.
But my favorite was my friend's dad who had a steel van with seats
only for the driver and the front passeger. We just rolled around
in the back- and got some good bumps from it too!
Congratulations Kimberly.
Avatar300|4.16.08 @ 3:24PM|#
"My mom tried to cover all the corners in the house with foam so
I didn't hurt myself while learning to walk and I nearly took out
an eye by falling into the back of the console television."
Was the TV okay?
|4.16.08 @ 3:25PM|#
Was the TV okay?
It was kinda a piece of shit, really. What what can you expect from
a TV that's designed to sit on the floor?
Bronwyn|4.16.08 @ 3:30PM|#
Just don't want to sound like a crazy idiot.
I hate to break it to you, but this is Hit & Run.
According to some, we all just a bunch of crazy idiots :)
Episiarch|4.16.08 @ 3:33PM|#
Do people like Painter really worry--to this
extreme--that children are going to get hurt, or do they get off on
their own hysteria?
It seems like they get off on the drama of worrying and the fake
moral posturing.
Because if you actually, truly do worry to this degree, there is
something seriously wrong with you. Take a fucking Valium. Hey,
maybe that's why our parents let us play the way they did--Valium
was everywhere!
|4.16.08 @ 3:51PM|#
Episiarch - "Because if you actually, truly do worry to this
degree, there is something seriously wrong with you. Take a fucking
Valium."
Spend 15 minutes on a message board at babycenter.com or
thenestbaby.com or read a pregnancy book. People worry this much.
And people think that you are truly a terrible person who doesn't
deserve children if you don't worry this much (about the
appropriate things - I have my own set of worries, they just don't
tend to involve objects).
Bronwyn - at least I fit right in then:)
|4.16.08 @ 4:07PM|#
"Ah, yes, more fun as a child in the 70s:
.....Bottle Rocket Wars.
There is nothing more fun than shooting explosives at each other.
Yeah, we used to intentionally try to shoot each other with these
things. We would design these awful "guns" to help point these
indefatigably inaccurate devises.
And I recall no one ever got hurt or no one was pussy enough to
admit it.
|4.16.08 @ 4:13PM|#
" ... no using silly seat belts so we could slide all over the place in the back of the station wagon."
On of the dads who was part of a carpool we had owned a Ford
station wagon with the hard plastic "floor," which he used to wax
up for maximum slickness. He would put all of the seats down, pile
all of us in the back, then proceeded to make sharp turns,
accelerations, decelerations, take dips--anything to enhance the
ride. We would get thrown around, sliding and hitting (hard) the
front seat, the rear door, and even the ceiling. What a ride!
|4.16.08 @ 4:24PM|#
"Ah, yes, more fun as a child in the 70s:
.....Bottle Rocket Wars.
There is nothing more fun than shooting explosives at each
other.
You have to be a child to do that? My friends and I used to, uhhh,
never mind, you's think we were being childish.
Scooby|4.16.08 @ 4:39PM|#
Bottle Rockets? Can't aim those too well.
Roman candles, on the other hand... it was like German soldiers
waiting for the *ping* of a GI's M-1 running out of ammo- count out
the eight shots 'til the other guy had to light a new roman candle,
then you could move from behind cover. The more clever of us would
sneak some 12 ball roman candles into the field of battle
Leah|4.16.08 @ 5:08PM|#
The vast majority of parenting message boards are filled with
nutjobs, and people who want to legislate parental caution piss me
off.
That said, I do get irritated with the "I survived, so it must be
fine!" mentality. As parents, we try to protect our kids until they
grow mature enough to protect themselves. My nearly-2-year-old
would love nothing better than to stand on top of the dining room
table and dance around. Kids don't have a built-in safe mode.
Therefore, the parents have to do some of the worrying for
them.
A lot of kids DIDN'T survive getting thrown in the back of the
pickup truck. Just because you did doesn't mean that it is safe,
just that you didn't get killed.
People definitely worry too much. People banning Looney Toons
because of gunplay are dopes. The walker thing is another example
of stupidity - just don't use the walker near an ungated
staircase.
But that doesn't mean that I'm going to let my kid ride without a
bike helmet or shoot at her friends with BB guns (which, by the
way, my cousins played that game and one ended up with a BB
embedded in his cheek about 1/2 an inch from his eye socket, so I
didn't play that game - though I did do plenty of hunting and
target shooting).
I absolutely think that people who try to make the government make
our whole society kid-safe are both nuts and irritating and,
really, dangerous. But railing against parents who make decisions
aimed at trying to keep their kids safe is silly too. Especially
when your reasoning is because "I did it and survived." That's just
not logical.
This would have been more coherent but I was trying to keep the
toddler from pulling a glass carboy (for beer brewing) down on her
head at the same time. I hope it still makes some sense at
least.
|4.16.08 @ 5:20PM|#
.....Bottle Rocket Wars....Roman candles, on the other
hand...
Once, I had a pack of 200 bottle rockets for a battle. I shot them
all off in one glorious salvo across the hedge. It was beautiful
man, just beautiful. I couldn't stop laughing.
The other kid then went with nuclear option and responded with a
roman candle. I kid you not.
|4.16.08 @ 5:37PM|#
Well said leah. Cute kid too.
I thought for a minute that Painter was just my wife's nom de
plume. She went around the other week and threw out all the hard
plastic water bottles we had in the house (missing my gym bottle,
which I lilke very much, in the process -- in your face!).
Dangerous man-made chemicals in them, don't you know. Read it in a
magazine somewhere. Chemicals that might hurt you. Maybe. Kinda.
Sorta. Experts say. On every 2nd Tuesday.
I don't let my kids ride without a helmet, unless we're talking in
front of the house stuff, in spite of my best friend's questioning
of my manhood as a result. I also bought 2 of the safest cars (not
SUVs) I could afford; they're built like tanks and would likely
flatten a Prius, one on one.
I owe it to my kids to protect them from serious injury as much as
possible without being a complete dork. I've been trying to teach
my boy how to climb trees, but most of the ones around here have
the lower limbs trimmed off, for asthetics, not safety (I hope).
They need to fall down and get hurt sometimes, just not with
massive head trauma.
Back when same friend and I rode motorcycles, he always went
helmetless, but not me. I gave him shit about it once - once. He
was a big boy and could make his own decisions was how I looked at
it. He rolled the dice and came out a winner, never went down too
badly that he was hurt, though a couple friends of ours did end up
in the hospital from bike accidents. Odds are he could have ended
up a vegetable too, but such is life.
|4.16.08 @ 5:50PM|#
Ok. I'm changing the invite from a previous thread:
Harding's Birthday.
Harding's Tomb.
H&R Lawn Jart Tournament.
Be there.
(I'll bring the Jarts.)
SIV|4.16.08 @ 6:20PM|#
Some toys, for instance, have been recalled because they
contain small, powerful magnets that, if removed and swallowed by a
toddler, can cause internal injury. Upon hearing of this risk, you
could a) immediately put the toy in a secure container and rush it
back to the retailer before this lurking evil kills anyone in your
family or b) decide to keep the toy away from little kids who might
disassemble it and swallow the pieces do nothing,The
Lord will recogize his own.
As a child I played with small magnets,mercury, blasting caps, lawn
darts etc.I'm still around. Anyone remember racing to discarded TVs
to salvage the magnets? Christ they were probably full of PCBs and
dioxin.
|4.16.08 @ 6:31PM|#
Leah, I agree. And the reason I know that 26 kids died b/c their
parents were idiots (using walkers) is that I wanted to see if they
were dangerous. We have to protect our kids - and do know more now
than we used to.
On the other hand, a lot of it is ridiculous. (When the stat 26
deaths in 33 years is supposed to scare you, something is wrong).
And the legislation is ridiculous - especially based on those
statistics. But while I won't necessarily NEVER EVER use a used
crib (as one book in particular cautions me), I will certainly be
cautious and make sure the one I do use is safe:)
(And, well, I'm the girl who won't let my dogs chew rawhide if I'm
not supervising - choking hazard - so I may actually be as bad as
the rest of them when the baby comes. But the push to outlaw
rockers, used cribs, etc (and there is one), is just as ridiculous
as a push to outlaw rawhide.)
JD|4.16.08 @ 6:38PM|#
My theory is that there's a fixed amount of panic in the world. Now that parents mostly don't have to worry about their kids dying of typhus or dysentery or whatever, that same amount of panic gets applied to all the more minor things, like death by walker.
|4.16.08 @ 6:48PM|#
Now that parents mostly don't have to worry about their kids
dying of typhus or dysentery or whatever, that same amount of panic
gets applied to all the more minor things, like death by
walker.
I'm worried about death by walker, all right. Death by Walker,
Texas Ranger, that is. Dude's one bad mofo.
|4.16.08 @ 7:10PM|#
My mom used to give me and my brothers a jar of mercury and tell
us to go play. And most of us made it to adulthood without severe
drain bamage.
You know, it's just bad journalism, nothing that serious. But for
some reason it sent all the blood to my head. It's so incredibly
insulting to anyone reading it. I keep having a fantasy where I'm
her editor, and I fired her on the spot for even writing that
shite. But, of course, USA Today had no compunction printing it as
if it was anything other than utter crap. It made me want to find
the nearest yard sale, buy the oldest crib they have, and chew all
of the lead based paint off of it.
|4.16.08 @ 7:55PM|#
Damn, I just remembered a time where my dad brought home a jar
of metalic mercury and let me stick my hand in it, just to show me
how cool it was. God knows where he got that.
We used a free used crib given to me by my mom's dentist. Both of
my kids survived it and it still sits unassembled in my basement,
ready to kill unsuspecting infants at a moment's notice.
robc|4.16.08 @ 9:47PM|#
This would have been more coherent but I was trying to keep
the toddler from pulling a glass carboy (for beer brewing) down on
her head at the same time.
Better Bottles. I still use my glass carboys too, but ending up in
the emergency room getting stitches while 5+ gallons of sweet,
delicious beer sits on my garage floor is a worry of mine. Better
Bottles solves that problem.
Mr. X|4.16.08 @ 11:11PM|#
For those interested in lawn darts, there is at least one
company on the web (based in Britain) that sells replacement parts
for repairing one's existing set of lawn darts. Last I
checked, they sold replacements for all of the
components of a standard lawn dart.
I would imagine that a handy person could do a lot with a box full
of replacement lawn dart parts.
Brian|4.16.08 @ 11:23PM|#
Don't you know that the government does a MUCH better job of
raising your kids than you can ever hope to. So just sit back,
relax, and let the government do the parenting for you.
It does occur to me that "family values" worked best when those
values were instilled by your family, rather than imposed by a
bureaucrat.
Dak|4.17.08 @ 12:14AM|#
I'm worried about death by walker, all right. Death by
Walker, Texas Ranger, that is. Dude's one bad mofo.
I, too,
am not a fan of walkers.
|4.17.08 @ 10:00AM|#
Recent post(s) on my blog about Jarts:
http://divisionoflabour.com/archives/004560.php
|4.17.08 @ 12:39PM|#
My favorite scene from the TV show Mad Men is when the little
girl comes running into the ktichen with a plastic dry cleaning bag
wrapped over her head. The mom freaks out . . . because her dry
cleaned dress might have been dropped on the floor by the little
girl.
Ah, the good old days.
|4.17.08 @ 12:43PM|#
I know, an anecdote is not data, but:
We had a walker for our oldest (daughter). One of those seats slung
in a ring with 4 swivel wheels. Lots of fun for her and seemingly
safe... Anyway, when she started to walk on her own, she had a
pronounced tendency to tiptoe everywhere, which we blamed on the
foot/leg position promoted by the walker. Took her years to develop
a more normal walking style.
So I'd watch out for that, and keep the time in the walker down to
something reasonable.
|4.17.08 @ 12:57PM|#
It is legal to play jarts - just not to buy/sell. This came up on another blog recently - http://divisionoflabour.com/archives/004560.php
|4.17.08 @ 4:41PM|#
this discussion reminds me of one my favorite onion
stories:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28331
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