Mitt Romney

King of the Wild Frontier

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Because your Super Tuesday just wasn't super enough without video of Mitt Romney half-rapping the words to "The Ballad of Davy Crockett" on the campaign trail: 

How long until we find out that Romney used to be a vocal Crockett critic? 

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  1. Damn, he’s whiter than Obama.

  2. How long until we find out that Romney used to be a vocal Crockett critic?

    Yes Suderman, let the snark flow through you!

  3. Doesn’t The Mouse own that song? Disney could destroy him for that travesty.

    1. Heh. For the first half of today’s lunch break I talked with coworkers and Disney’s copyright lawsuits came up.

    1. Seriously. No coonskin cap?

  4. Paul should, in response, publicly read Crockett’s famous “Can’t Do That” speech in Congress.

  5. It wasn’t a *bear*.

    It was a *bar*.

    And he didn’t “himself” a bar, he “killed him a bar”.

    He should stick with Americana closer to home. Didn’t Brigham Young shoot a woodpecker or somethin’?

      1. Zombie. Famine. Tanto.

  6. How about a constitutional amendment to ban candidates for any office singing.

    This would include the National Anthem, which they would only be allowed to lip synch.

    1. I counter with the following proposition: No candidate shall be qualified to run for the office of the president who cannot sing the National Anthem accurately and in key.

      1. Why do you think engineers would make bad presidents?

        1. We need some standards. And some engineers can sing. I saw a video of Dolph Lundgren, the King of Chemical Engineers, singing.

          1. He should have been the next Arnold Schwarzenegger.

            He could have been the Governor of California.

            1. He wants to be Governor of America after the Norsemen resume their invading ways.

      2. I second.

      3. And what exactly do you have against pop singers?

        1. Ah, I wasn’t subtle enough.

          1. Nor I, I guess. Or you’ve missed the pop singers who manage to screw the thing up.

            1. No, I meant you saw my implied insult.

              1. LOL. OK, let’s start over.

  7. In all seriousness, if we want a president that isn’t a career community organizer or a career politician? We’re gonna get somebody who isn’t good at this stuff yet.

    And when you’re running a private equity firm? You don’t have a lot of chances to get all folksy with everyday people–and that isn’t something that comes naturally.

    We’ve occasionally had to hold community meetings if we thought there might be some controversy about something we wanted to do. It’s better to let the people who are good at that sort of thing handle it.

    I mean, how many times do you think Equity Man Romney has had to get up in front of a trailer park full of people like that and try to connect with them on a personal level? Rap some Davey Crockett? Sounds good to me.

    If that doesn’t work, shoot a gun in the air or something!

    1. The point is, he shouldn’t be trying to “get all folksy”, because it’s fake.

      1. Oh, it’s fake when Obama does it, too! Obama’s just had more practice, so he looks natural when he does it.

        It’s all an illusion!

        Obama wouldn’t have anyone in the audience over for dinner, but somehow he’s folksy!

        I mean, what, we gotta go with career politicians ’cause the private industry executives aren’t good at faking it really well?

        1. I’m saying being folksy shouldn’t be the goal at all! Just be honest. I know that’s physically impossible for both of them.

          1. That’s kinda what I was jokin’ about with the shooting a gun in the air. If he was honest, he’s tell ’em they were a bunch of slack jawed yokels who shouldn’t have dropped out of school.

            I doubt he can tell the difference between college students and homeless people.

        2. Obama wouldn’t have anyone in the audience over for dinner

          If I was invited to dinner with ANY politician, I’d want to know what was on the menu.

          And, if Holder were present, I’d demand that someone else taste my food before I ate.

          1. You know what I mean, though. He’s like Oprah. She comes across like she loves everyone in the audience. And she might give them each a car!

            …but she wouldn’t go out to lunch with any of them unless it was absolutely necessary for a show.

            Jay Leno comes across as a regular guy. …but he’s a guy with like $50 million worth of classic cars in his garage. He comes out at the beginning of his show and shakes hands with everyone in the audience, but there’s no way he’d take any of them home to see them.

            No way.

    2. Mr. Plastic for President! Maybe instead of trying to morph into whatever constituency he’s in front of at the moment, he could connect with simple, honest answers. Preferably, answers that aren’t 180 degrees from the ones he gave yesterday. Why do you have to ‘perform’ to ‘connect’?

      1. There’s probably ten people I really care about in the world, and that’s being generous.

        There are a lot of people who care about the homeless–just not enough to donate one single dollar online to their local shelter. …and that’s how Romney feels about the thousands of people he stands in front of and meets everyday.

        And that makes him…just like everybody else. If you can stand in front of a large audience of strangers and connect with them like you really care about them–even when you don’t? I’m not sure that makes you an excellent presidential prospect.

        …but I think that’s the way people are treating Romney. And if we don’t get over that, we may end up with another four years of President Jackhole Fumbduck, who comes across like he really cares about you.

        And I mean, you, kilroy. Obama’s suffering for your sins, you know, becasue he loves you.

        1. WTF? Thinking a candidate should be honest and straightforward makes me pro-Obama? What universe do you live in? Romney is nowhere near just like everybody else. He wants to be POTUS and he’ll say or do anything to get the job. I’ll take someone who will honestly tell me what they really believe while knowing I don’t agree. That isn’t Romney or Obama.

          1. I’m not saying you’re pro-Obama. I’m saying if it all depends on a smooth delivery, then Obama’s gonna win again.

            No way Romeny’s about to out smooth Obama.

            In addition, what I’m saying is that Romney being willing to BS just about anything to get into the White House makes him…exactly like the alternative. There isn’t anybody real in politics.

            The whole idea that politicians really care about us is fake. That’s why I’m a libertarian. I’d rather make choices for myself. Because there isn’t anybody that really cares about me in Washington. There isn’t anybody that cares about me so much they should be trusted to make choices on my behalf. And blowing up the silly idea that any politicians really care about us should be a big part of what libertarianism is all about.

            Yeah, Romney’s fake. And so are the rest of them. They always have been fake, and they always will be.

            1. I refer you to someone I believe is not fake: Gary Johnson

              Now you can tell me how he can’t get elected. You can vote for someone genuine.

  8. Your name is Peter. LOL

  9. By the post title I thought it was going to be as embarrassing as Adam and the Ants.

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