Remy: Grandma Got Indefinitely Detained (A Very TSA Christmas)


In seasons past, Grandma only had to worry about getting run over by a reindeer. With "Grandma Got Run Over by TSA," web sensation Remy gets us in the holiday mood with a song about Christmas, Homeland Security, and the joys of civil rights abuses.

"Grandma Got Run Over by TSA" is one of a series of collaborations between Remy and Reason.tv. To watch Remy's other videos, go here.

Approximately 2:25 minutes. Music by Remy. Video shot and produced by Meredith Bragg.

Visit Reason.tv for downloadable versions of this video as well as an mp3 of the song. Subscribe to Reason.tv's YouTube channel to get automatic notification when new material goes live.


Grandma got indefinitely detained now
coming home to visit Christmas Eve
You could say she had a right to counsel
but some folks in the Congress disagree

She was flying home to our house
when she got checked by TSA
thought she might be Abdulmutallab
when they looked at her X-ray

Her hair had recently been colored
she paid cash for her Christmas gifts
two things apparently the Congress
says just might make you a terrorist

Grandma got indefinitely detained now
coming home to visit Christmas Eve
you could claim there's no right to due process
but check the 5th amendment and you'll see

They say they need to have these powers
to help protect this free country
but if it takes these steps to do so
what is it we are protecting?

Now she's an enemy combatant
as if that makes any sense
the only thing that she's combating
is her unpredictable incontinence

Grandma got indefinitely detained now
trying to come visit Christmas Eve
they took her rights in order to…protect rights..
the most genius plan ever in history

Grandma got indefinitely detained now
never made it home on Christmas day
she always wanted to live in Miami
at least now she's 90 miles away

NEXT: Like Woodstock for Tyrants: Cuba Declares Three Days of Mourning for Kim Jong-il

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  1. Nothing about groping?

    1. After the agricultural city-State’s gambol lockdown comes grandma lockdown.

      Think of it as grambol lockdown.

      How’s that “we need agricultural city-Statism to protect our [fill-in-the-blank] rights working out for you yet?

      1. How’s being a fat fuck working out for you?

        1. Neuroendocrine disorders cause stress-related disease.

          “Civilization syndrome” is a growing health problem

          Obes Res. 1993 May;1(3):206-22.
          Visceral obesity: a “civilization syndrome”.
          Bj?rntorp P.
          Source: Department of Heart and Lung Diseases, Sahlgren’s Hospital, University of G?teborg, G?teborg, Sweden.


          1. We have already been over this. We apologize and wish to make it up to you by dropping you in the gambolicious paradise of your choice. Please be gracious and identify your destination.

            1. Libertarian paradise!!!

              Why aren’t you already there?


      2. Yeah, we know you always get cranky when the SNAP you hunted and the EBT you gathered run out for the month. Is you mother’s cooking really that bad? Or is it just she won’t gambol it down to the basement for you? Either way, you know it would stretch much farther if you didn’t all your TEFAP at the liquor store, right?

          1. Shut up, Godesky.

            1. I believe that should be “STFU, Godesky”.

      3. Uh huh.

    2. Now she’s an enemy combatant
      and not with us like we had hoped.
      But at least she didn’t struggle
      when the TSA insisted she get groped.

  2. she paid cash for her Christmas gifts

    How did they know this?

    1. sorry, that information is classified.

    2. The cameras, they are everywhere. Santa knows when you are naughty or nice, he has been watching, for your own good.

  3. I don’t get it; does this guy give great head?
    Reason needs to have its own New Year creativity contest:

    -Best NSFW/SFW videos
    -Bestest Bokless cartoon
    -Reason trouveur
    -Reason poetaster laureate
    -Slash fiction and whichever commenter gets mentioned the most gets a prize too

    1. That would definitely explain the constant hat tips to Alan Vanneman.

    2. -Slash fiction and whichever commenter gets mentioned the most gets a prize too

      A classic

      John/MNG (mmf)

      MNG touched the clammy skin of John’s chest. It was disgusting. MNG moved his hand down John’s chest and then touched his small penis and then his small nuts and then his small thighs. MNG was an Down’s Syndrome mongoloid and drank urine. rather was urinating and John was not hermaphrodite right now and MNG drank urine. And MNG glittered in the sun so they were in Warty’s basement. John had Klinefelter’s syndrome. People with Klinefelter’s syndrome have small testicles and reduced fertility. MNG is retarded even when he is in his special needs class. rather walked down into Warty’s basement and MNG could sense her urine with his enhanced retard senses. rather said “I’m peeing and you are a mongoloid and John is a hermaphrodite.” MNG nodded and John nodded. rather then said “You should have naked gay retard and hermaphrodite sex so I can watch and shit myself.” It was so not erotic and rather watched until the sun came up and they all went to school and did not tell anyone what happened.

      THE END

      1. You forgot the part about the sex dungeon.

      2. You sir, are no SugarFree.

  4. I reading the lyrics, because I have no youtube at work, and it doesn’t scan right. Is that just me?

    And yes, I admit I can sing the original frelling song in my head. Constant repetition will do that to you.

    1. The lyrics don’t seem to match the video exactly. It actually works just fine.

      1. It seems a little forced to me, but not terrible. Not Remy’s best work though.

    2. I reading the lyrics, because I have no youtube at work, and it doesn’t scan right. Is that just me?

      I think it might be.

      1. My reading good, typing not so good.

        Hell, I’m at least as literate as your average education major.

  5. Number 6: Where am I?
    Number 2: In the AIRPORT.
    Number 6: What do you want?
    Number 2: We want information.
    Number 6: Whose side are you on?
    Number 2: That would be telling. We want information… information… information.
    Number 6: You won’t get it.
    Number 2: By hook or by crook, we will.
    Number 6: Who are you?
    Number 2: The new number 2.
    Number 6: Who is Number 1?
    Number 2: You are Number 6.
    Number 6: I am not a number, I am a free man.

  6. I prefer Remy’s lyrics from “Lean Back.”

  7. With breasts that seem to defy gravity Gabriella was surely destined to be a nude model. One hundred percent natural, Gabriella tells us she inherited her incredible assets from her mother. Although mum’s are apparently twice the size!

    This Brazilian beauty is as passionate and temperamental as they come and has lots of life experience for her age. She loves to dance, can mix the best cocktails and at the end of a long day likes to relax by sucking on a fine cigar! The only problem for Gabriella appears to be that she is unlucky in love…

    Although established as a popular model for car shows around the world this was her first time ever doing full nudes. Gabriella however took it all in her stride – as the results show!

    And you won’t want to miss her videos, when the camera started rolling Gabriella turned into a wild cat in the springtime.

  8. Speaking of Christmas:


    Fuckin’ candy-assed backdown.

  9. I see Sen Fran Tarpington’s back. Where’s Sen F Lee Bailout?

  10. this is very funny – however, it is also sadly true – our freedom is being destroyed by this administration

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