Soggy Like Sunday Morning Pizza: Ron Hart on GOP Presidential Candidates
Columnist Ron Hart gives his rundown on the folks who make it into the GOP presidential debates:
The godfather of Godfather's Pizza might be like that first slice of pizza when it is served piping fresh. However, he runs the risk of being like Rick Perry: Those later slices are soggy and cold, and you tire of them quickly. You could ask the waiter to put them in a box to take home, but deep down you know you probably won't want them later.
Rick Perry has been so beaten up by his debate performances that even going back to Texas and executing three folks didn't cheer him up.
Rick Santorum and Michele Bachmann are starting to waste our time. We are not looking for a Bible school teacher, but rather a minimal-government executive who will get the size and scope of government under control instead of codifying the Bible into law. Bachmann is Sarah Palin without the marksmanship. I think her campaign should be fined if she mentions all her foster children one more time. I don't want to see her birth certificate, but I would like to run a background check on her college degree.
Jon Huntsman and Mitt Romney look like the men in the Viagra commercials. However, each has some serious negatives to overcome. Jon Huntsman worked for the current administration as U.S. ambassador to China, and Romney implemented Massachusetts' infamous health care law, on which the despised Obamacare was supposedly based.
Which leaves us with the smartest folks in the race, Ron Paul and Newt Gingrich. In this shallow, TV sound bite race, the non-telegenic Paul and Gingrich do not stand a chance. I will vote for Ron Paul because he is the only intellectually honest one and also happens to be right on 99 percent of the issues. Sadly, there is no place for such a candidate in today's politics.
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Gillespie used the n-word in the alt text.
"Nazi?"
Belief in "bad words" is a belief in magic.
In political commentary it is the C word that bugs the hell out of me. Crazy.
Someone is "crazy" when you don't agree with the ideas or actions but are too lazy (or too stupid) to rebut them.
Great comment, Blight. I may actually quote you -- unattributed of course, so I sound intelligent and snooty.
Links?
Riggs must have slept in. I'm assuming Mr. Gillespie will be over to his cage to poke him with a stick and tell him to get back to work soon.
Do you want links on your pizza?
This analogy is full of fail. Cold pizza is awesome.
Pizza is like sex. Even when it's bad it's good.
Only bad sex I ever had came from a misunderstanding. I thought she was being figurative. She was making a breakfast request.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/rec.....index.html
Has to be refrigerator cold - room temperature cold sucks.
Pizza, that is.
Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure
Sprinkle on a little Italian dressing and it's a delight.
This (above) is not meant to imply any sort of support for Cain. He just ain't Abel.Heard about his publishing/money-laundering scam yet?
http://www.tucsonsentinel.com/.....ng-scheme/
Love cold pizza, and it usually isn't soggy either, so the analogy fails even further.
Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse; stand by for the inevitable Hartbot sockpuppet invasion.
This about sums it up. One party wants to be our Sunday School teacher and the other wants to be our mother.
Cold Pizza, Viagra ads, happy executions, fake college degrees...I think you need to borrow my Shit-disturbing tag
Jon Huntsman worked for the current administration as U.S. ambassador to China
That's Huntsman's "handicap"? I really don't have a problem with this. It would be different if he had been Secretary of State. Or is this just more RAH TEAM RAH idiocy from Hart?
Nah. Huntsman's handicap is that he is a big government RINO, and lacks the charisma to distract voters from this fact.
I will never look at ROMNIAC again without thinking "Viagra". So, thanks for that, Ron.
I always figured that Perry was a Viagra dude and that Romney was a Cialis guy.
When did Gingrich gain this new found 'intelligence' I hear so much about?
He's a smart guy, he's just horribly wrong on a lot of issues.
Many of them personal AND revealing.
It's probably a comparative thing. I mean, other than Ron Paul and maybe Cain, can you really say any of these people are smarter than Gingrich?
P Brooks is a BMW--- Bitch, Moan and Whiner.
Hart is funny as hell and is in 45 papers from California to Florida. P Brooks just acts like a Bozo on a blog where no one can tell him to go away.
The Noid was a Domino's ad character.
Just avoid the Noid.
He is right, Paul and Newt school the others but are not electable.
CNN leftie Anderson Cooper is like a corrupt mayor, letting them beat each other up while avoiding the rules. All of that helps his savior Obama.
if you have noticed, the only one to call out interviewers for sketchy questions or for promoting something other than a debate has been Newt, and he's done it to CNN and Fox. The others let themselves get dragged into fraternal pissing matches that make both participants look bad.
They look bad because they are bad.
Paul's the only one I could think of voting for, but it would be great entertainment to see Newt in a presidential debate with Obama. The Super Bowl of Presidential Debates!
A debate I'd love to see also. I think I'm settling on Paul-Gingrich ticket.
Like Hart said, if Herman Cain can bring pineapple and ham together on a pizza, then he certainly can bring this nation together.
Cain came out effectivly pro choice the other day, and (save Ron Paul) is probably they less evangelically socialy driven than the lot of them. Even vs. Obama.
Hart has to be my favorite humor writer working today in the op ed space.
Spanky I agree, P Brooks is an idiot and has a fake email. I am surprised Nick lets him blog like that.
Hart rocks!