Conspiracy

Remembering 9/11: No, You're an Astroturf-Funded Protester!

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I happened to be at Ground Zero this weekend, as my wife was covering the anniversary events. Here was the view from our hotel window at around 9 AM on 9/11/11:

True story: Kid points at the near buildings and says "That's Manhattan!" Points at far buildings and says "That's KID-hattan!"

FWIW, I thought the footprint-fountains were pretty neat, and sources say they were staggering up close.

Since I was on babysitting duty, there wasn't much time or inclination to linger around the mass grave, but here are two other photos (taken on 9/10) of possible interest. First, a field full of flags near the tip of the island, one for every person killed 10 years ago:

Angels hat, Pinocchio shirt, American flags

And second, the NYPD has its very own Navy!

Yes you can put your mind at ease!

My favorite 9/11-themed moment came on anniversary morning (no pictures, alas). I was escaping the scrum and heading toward the Brooklyn Bridge, maudlin echoes of Paul Simon's "Sounds of Silence" croaking through the canyons, when I happened upon two reliably off-kilter protesters (the site was chock-a-block with Truthers, God Squadders, and God-Knows-Whatters, playing dueling sandwich boards). These two were from opposing camps–she a noseringed left-of-center something-or-other, he a possible LaRouchite. They had no audience, but they had the exact same suspicion:

She Bear: "Who's paying for you to be here?"
He Bear: "Who's paying for you to be here?"

Back and forth it went. It apparently didn't occur to either person that you could just walk down to Lower Manhattan with your sandwich board and insane fliers and start haranguing tourists all by yourself.

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  1. I don’t get it.

    1. Dude, it is CLEAR that the Angels hat represents the divine touch of humanity inherent in southern california and the pinochio shirt draws a striking parallel to the lies told by chinese flag makers…duh.

      1. In all seriousness you could actually construct a whole bunch of meaning from the munchkin’s attire and location of the picture…just sayin.

  2. Sorry, but anybody with a political opinion is either funded by Soros or the Kochtopus.

  3. It apparently didn’t occur to either person that you could just walk down to Lower Manhattan with your sandwich board and insane fliers are start haranguing tourists all by yourself.

    Without the libertarian decoder ring (and the monocle through which to see it), this message is impossible to comprehend.

  4. Is that an Aegis cruiser on the river in the first picture?

    1. I believe that’s the USS Cole.

  5. Te3n years later, still not56hing but a hole in the ground; they might as well use it as a landfill.

    And what the fuck are those things that look like giant stainless steel kitchen sinks?

    1. Message received. Implementing Plan Monocle as instructed.

    2. Use it as a landfill? Pfft…we have Staten Island for that, thanks.

    3. Yeah what the fuck? 10 years and nothing.

    4. You guys looking dumb… WTC1 can be seen under construction at the top foto on the right. The other 4 buildings are u/c as well.

      http://farm7.static.flickr.com…..773e_b.jpg

      The kitchen sinks are there to stay. They are the “memorial”.

  6. Typinge are hsrd.

  7. Just part of standard conspiracy theory. Anyone not agreeing with your flavor of crazy must be getting paid by the conspirators to discredit you.

    1. Everyone knows denial is a dead give away that you’re astro-turfing. Do you deny it? Ah ha!

  8. Hey, Matt went all the way uptown to Inwood!

  9. FWIW, I thought the footprint-fountains were pretty neat, and sources say they were staggering up close.

    Ta-da: there’s your monument. Stop building and don’t waste anymore money. You’re welcome.

  10. The colors sure look like they’ve run on the flags in that second picture.

    1. I believe each flag had the names of every victim on it; hence coloration. Also, I need to wipe off my lens now and then.

      1. Your baby sure does know how to mug for the camera! Thank god she looks like your wife 😉

  11. Unrelated note: Am I the only one who finds the 9/11 memorial ungodly depressing looking? I just can get behind the “water cascades down into this square, and then into NOTHINGNESS” look

    1. I agree, the water should flow upwards.

      1. At this memorial, we obey the laws of physics. All joking aside, it is a much more complicated probelm to pump water in sheets than to pump it in a pipe and distribute it. Pumping a 2D fluid against gravity any distance is a problem that would have your engineers hating you. Can’t think of a way off the top of my head to build a pump that would create an even head for those conditions.

        1. You just need a level trough. When it fills up it spills over in an even sheet.

          1. Yes. That’s how to make it go down the wall. How to make it climb up the wall in a sheet is hard.

    2. Agreed. I strongly dislike the…holes? drains? They’re sure as hell not fountains or pools. They look like water going down the drain (gee, no metaphor there) and are way too reminiscent of the WTC “bathtub”.

  12. The Empire State building was erected in 2 years, under budget. The fact that we, as a nation didn’t erect two identical WTCs, but maybe 10 stories taller, reveals that we are steaming pile of camel dung. And now we have two big holes for that dung. Yea!

    1. I blame the failed lawyers turned politicians we elect to write stupid legislation used by lawyers to tie things up in courts that are run by failed lawyers who became judges.

    2. For all the political patronage involved in the Empire State Building (Al Smith was part of the syndicate that built it), it was still a private venture set up by private investors with a clear profit motive in view (although it has always struggled with actually meeting that goal).

      The WTC, on the other hand was from the beginning a socialistic venture built and financed by the Port Authority at the behest of business socialists like the Rokefellers. For almost it’s entire life it was a drain on the Authorities revenues, siphoning subsidies away from the toll and charges that should have been maintaining and expanding its bridge and dock facilities.

      The other thing that should cause libertarians disquiet is the fact that the land assembly for the project was a blatant example of eminent domain abuse.

      The original WTC was a financial boondoggle that provided office space that was not in demand. Any replacement wil be the same.

      The reason there’s not replacement building there is that there is no there there.

      1. It’s a shame that the WTC was such a financial and political boondoggle, too.

        The towers were marvels of engineering design.

      2. …Except that the replacements are well under way.

        1. Good to know that socialists can still get things done.

          Still took a while to get the bogus cost hiding plan in place, though.

    3. we are steaming pile of camel dung

      Speak for yourself, thanks.

  13. His brow furrowed, tighter still, eyes trained on the sandwich board. His hand traced great looping letters, led as those of a monk tracing the name of God. The room filled quickly with the acrid stench of his felt-tipped writing implements. Gluestick and glitter clung to his hand, smudging and returning to the page, a delicate interplay of genius and magic.

    I waited intently. Finally, he paused, and held it up against the dim light of his humble servant’s quarters for examination. Wiping away perspiration with his sleeve, he smiled, a grin of deep satisfaction. He hastily gathering his materials, fastened his monocle and turned to leave.

    “This, this is mine, m’lord?”

    “May it serve you well.”

    He muttered a brief incantation in the Old Tongue. The sequins on my herald for the long march against the Kenyan glistened almost imperceptibly and then fell dull again.

    Outside, he clambered into his wheelbarrow and, tossing a handful of silver coins at my feet, sneered to his Chinaman:

    “Onward, boy. Fell deeds await.”

    With that, his manservant quietly whisked him into the sunset.

    Thus ended my visit from the lich David Koch and his wheelbarrow. The poster read, “NOBAMA UNDOCUMENTED WORKER NOT MY PRESIDENT.”

    1. Outstanding +1

    2. That’s exactly how it happened for me too! All praise the Kochtopus!

  14. I saw pictures of the “Empty Pits of Eternal Despair,” otherwise known as the “9/11 Memorial” for the first time this weekend. I’m assuming the RFP explicitly called for something depressing, defeatist, and soul-sucking. If so, the architects nailed it.

  15. My mind kept returning again and again on Sunday to the thought, “How would the response of the Media, the pundits and the pols have differed if the 9/11 attacks had been directed toward targets in St. Louis instead of NYC?”

  16. No, you’re an astroturf-funded marsupial!

    Wait…

  17. Back and forth it went. It apparently didn’t occur to either person that you could just walk down to Lower Manhattan with your sandwich board and insane fliers and start haranguing tourists all by yourself.

    It does occur to them, but that’s the fastest way for crackpots to kneecap their opponents. Suggest money’s involved, then stand back and nod smugly.

    What if one of them were paid to be there?

  18. Oh, does it make me an asshole that I don’t really want to engage in any of the 9/11 festivities?

    I guess I just don’t like the idea of dwelling on that time I got punked.

  19. So, not to be all Nanny state and all, but one assumes there’s some reason toddlers and drunks won’t be tumbling into those fountains by the score, right?

    1. By the way, I like how I instinctively capitalized Nanny like the TV show. Pop culture defeats oppression again!

    2. Both groups have good parents?

  20. I would tap a mute Fran Drescher in a second…

    1. mute…or im deaf.

    2. You just want to wear her nanny outfit.

  21. So let me get this straight- the “memorial” is a pair of gigantic urinals?

    Works for me.

  22. How to make it climb up the wall in a sheet is hard.

    Try magnets.

    1. “climb up the wall in a sheet is hard”

      Tell me about it.

    2. Attaching the magnets to the water takes small hands, and we all know that NYF’nC won’t let you use child labor, even for such a noble purpose.

  23. I saw pictures of the “Empty Pits of Eternal Despair,” otherwise known as the “9/11 Memorial” for the first time this weekend. I’m assuming the RFP explicitly called for something depressing, defeatist, and soul-sucking. If so, the architects nailed it.

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