America's Toughest Sheriff Will Let You Watch Baseball Undistracted


Sheriff Joe Arpaio will not be parading a chain-gang of illegal immigrants and DUI offenders in front of Chase Field in Phoenix today after all. The idea was ostensibly to have the men and woman convicts clean up for today's Major League Baseball All-Star game, but most publicity after the sheriff's initial announchment leaned negative, noting that this was just another look-how-tough-on-crime-I-am, America, stunt from the Maricopa County sheriff known for a laundry list of expensive lawsuits, and depressingly-high approval ratings (lessened recently). 

Arpaio know that making inmates wear pink boxer shorts with "Go Joe" (or "Vamos Joe" in the newly available bilingual-friendly version) is in America's interests, but distracting people from America's past-time is perhaps not:

"'If they had called and asked me to knock it off, I probably would have done it anyway,"' Arpaio said" according to the Phoenix New Times blog. "'I decided to let the people enjoy the game without any outside distraction.'"

Apraio deigned to let baseball fans enjoy the game without having to weigh heavy civil liberties questions or play Cool-Hand Luke. The rest of us tough-on-crime skeptics get to enjoy the (sadly tax-payer-funded) schadenfreude of Maricopa County being ordered to pay 200,000 dollars to a father and son who were held for several hours in one of Apraio's deputies' broad looking-for-illegals sweeps. Don't expect the light touch in law enforcement from a man who once teamed up with Steven Seagal and a tank in order to bring in a man suspected of cockfighting.

Reason has covered many of Sheriff Joe's shenanigans.

NEXT: BTW, How Do You Know That Politicians (and Newspapers) Still Don't Get That We Are Out of Money?

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  1. Joe Arpaio, you sir, are a motherfucking scumbag. Fuck you in the neck. Fuck your face. Fuck you, you scumbag.

    1. Tell us how you really feel

      1. I did. Fuck him. Got a problem?

        1. That’s not childish at all.

      2. the sheriff has a small penis.

    2. How would he get fucked in the neck? Not opposed to the idea, just curious.

      No homo.

      1. Well, if he lowers his chin, his chin, neck, and chest can hot dog bun your cock.

    3. Sheriff Joe has won a lot of elections. Tell everyone that you know who respects this character how much you hate them.

      1. Funny, Hitler won elections as well, yet not many seem to still support him.

  2. “Say it ain’t so, Joe!”

  3. The only positive thing I can find here, is that in studying, I discovered that man is mortal.

    So basically Joe is going to die someday, and that makes me happy.

    1. All we need is some iocane powder…

      1. You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you!

    2. I’ve vowed not to visit arizona until that fuckwit sheriff joe is dead and buried.

      Gotta have a good place to urinate.

  4. I would tune into the All-Star Game if they let Sheriff Joe throw out the first pitch, then had both teams starters beat him to death with bats.

    1. Technically doesn’t violate the NAP since he initiated the force, right?

      1. I think that Joe’s initiated aggression against enough people to allow almost anything under the NAP if you want to be…flexible.


      3. My adherence to NAP and pacifism has so many loopholes and exceptions that I’ve made for myself I fear that, one day, I will be sitting on a street corner somewhere lighting random passersby on fire out of “self-defense.”

        1. Philosophy is hard.

          NAP! NAP! NAP!

          1. Remember how I told you I’d set you on fire last, McBitch?

            I lied.

            1. NAP: Intellectual shortcut. Libertarian crib note.

              1. Great refutation. I’m in awe of your intellectual abilities.

                1. Previous comment was to anonypussy, not cap l. See I can refute things too.

                  Science is hard.


                  Take that Einstein!

              2. Does your whining come naturally or is it a thinly veiled attempt to hide the fact that your mind is vapid and you are unable to contribute anything of substance?

            2. Ignore. The. Retard. Trolls. cap-l.

              1. Sorry Episiarch, if you sarcastically say

                “[subject] is hard”

                Then repeat a foundation of that subject 3 times in all caps, it is totally refuted. We’re done, might as well pack up the bags, turn in the monocles and tophats, the anonypussy has won the debate.

              2. I try, I really really do.

                I think I may need some help. Is there a 12 step program for this sort of thing?

                1. You’re at it right now, so start ignoring now.

                2. Episiarch|7.12.11 @ 8:48PM|#
                  Ignore. The. Retard. Trolls. cap-l.

                  Do as he says, not as he does.

      4. Uh, for minarchists at least the force initiation has to immediately precede and/or be continuing when the retaliatory force is dished out.

        1. Uh, it was a joke, Commodore Humorless. I know exactly what the NAP is, and it goes for individualist anarchists too.

          1. individualist anarchist

            Love the label. It’s so cute and edgy. Look everybody! I’m an individualist, but I don’t want anyone telling me what to do (“aggression”), and I hate the state because…well, because it’s the state, so I’m also an anarchist! Love me?

            1. Does your whining come naturally or is it a thinly veiled attempt to hide the fact that your mind is vapid and you are unable to contribute anything of substance?

  5. Prison is dangerous enough without cockfighting.

  6. Whoever put that talking ad on the HnR page needs to spend some time with Sheriff Joe

    1. +10.

      please, no talking ads, please…

    2. I have flash turned off by default, and always visit reason with only cached images on (which also means I always see the alt-text before the image). Didn’t hear the talking ad.

  7. So cosmic justice would have Sheriff Joe getting busted in some huge payola scam followed by a prison term where he gets to learn about his feminine side from a 7 foot mexican with a Tattoo of Jose Guerena in the most painful way possible, right?

    1. You’ve been hanging out with SugarFree, and this is from one of his stories, right?

    2. This is my feeling. I really really want Joe Arpaio to spend the last years of his life in a Maricopa County lockup that he helped create, surrounded by the people he put there.

      Public defeat, ignominy, and the loss of his cushy pension would be nice runners-up, but I really want to watch him perp-walked out of a courthouse for good.

      1. Revenge fantasies. That’s healthy.

        1. It wouldn’t be revenge if I had nothing to do with it. I’d take some satisfaction from it considering the number of people he’s made miserable, but it wouldn’t be “revenge” unless he did something to me personally. Which is why I will probably avoid Maricopa county for the foreseeable future.

          Sweet, sweet comeuppance. Taste the rainbow.

      2. Dude, it’s entirely possible. He’s made so many enemies, been so corrupt, and done so much fucked up shit that if the Feds go after him, his enemies will crawl out of the woodwork and hopefully put the knife in him for good.

    3. wrong sheriff.

      Guerena is Dupnik’s territory.

  8. CAUSE AND EFFECT! ? Of Empire increasing the debt ceiling

    [OZYISM ASKS]: – – will the [EMPIRE] regime increase the debt ceiling?

    [HTS REPLYS]: Yes the American – Israeli Military Industrial Complex – the
    [EMPIRE] will in fact raise the debt ceiling as it has at least [70 ] times in the
    past that is a given.

    [OZYISM ASKS]: – – Will the increase of debt ceiling help the [EMPIRE] avoid
    a catastrophe?

    [HTS REPLYS]: No! the raising of the debt ceiling will not avoid an
    economic world wide catastrophe, in fact it will only bring it on must
    faster, there is no possible way that the debt can ever be repaid, and
    saying that everything is going to be better in the future by looking into
    some crystal ball is not reality.

    [OZYISM ASKS]: – – Will the increase of debt ceiling come with tax rises and
    spending cuts? If not , how will that work out?

    [HTS REPLYS]: It will in fact come with a tax increase but it may be more
    of an INFLATIONARY TAX increase, as their own DR. RON PAUL has pointed out many times, the value to its currency will decline
    on the international level making the cost of Wally World items increase
    along with the cost of Oil and other necessary resources for production,
    Rare Earth from China, Lithium from Afghanistan, Food and all costs
    across the economic spectrum.

    [OZYISM ASKS]: – Will US go on default?

    [HTS REPLYS]: The Empire crossed the default line a long way back, the
    reality of that default has not sunk in.

    [OZYISM ASKS]: – – Where will the cuts come from? More teachers lay offs?
    Or maybe cut aid to pregnant women and children.

    [HTS REPLYS]: The better question is where the cuts, not come from , will
    everywhere except from the [1 %] Empire wealthy, and the Military
    Industrial Complex the war machine.

    [OZYISM ASKS]: – – Will they cut funds from the military?

    [HTS REPLYS]: No! the Nuclear Choke Chain Blue and Gold Necklace
    running from the Black Sea, around the under belly of the [ME ] Middle
    East, to the Far East and then to the Pacific Arctic Region must be
    maintained, and used against those nations that have the oil and
    resources the [Empire ] must have to continue to exist.

    [OZYISM ASKS]: – – Will they increase the taxes? How will that affect
    anything and everything?

    [HTS REPLYS]: Again Inflation will be the tax , with causes sales tax ‘s to
    rise, and city , county, state, federal , rents, which are all taxes of one form
    or another will rise while unemployment will also rise, this is cause and
    effect with one effecting each other.


    1. McConnell’s pussification on the debt negotiations got you down, Herc?

        |7.12.11 @ 8:11PM|#
        McConnell’s pussification on the debt negotiations got you down, Herc?

        [HTS REPLYS]
        Indeed, Imperial Senator Addison Mitchell McConnell Junior [EVANGELICAL NATIONALIST–KENTUCKY PROVINCE] is an example of an Inferior Manhood, he will raise the debt ceiling of the American-Israeli Military-Industrial Complex [EMPIRE], just as the [EMPIRE] has done over [70] Seventy times before, count on it, in reality he and Imperial Senator Harry Mason Reid [IMPERIAL SOCIALIST–NEVADA PROVINCE] are not adversaries, no! They are ideological twins, both favor the [EMPIRE], both favor Wars of Economic Stimulus, both favor more and more Spending and INFLATIONARY TAX INCREASES, and the end of the day they are Peas in the Pod.


        1. Not that I disagree with your assessment, but why do you give Israel equal partner status as a co-governing body of [EMPIRE]?

    2. Herc – 2012!

    3. Does anyone ever read these? My mousewheel gets one hell of a workout whenever Herc posts.

      1. I hit the space bar.

      2. Bingo: Firefox – greasemonkey – incif.

        Also, SIV, sorry to hear Arpiao went after you with that tank.

        1. “reasonable” for google chrome is quite nice, too. The tophat/monocle icon takes it to 11.

    4. Cool story, bro.

  9. Man, I was reading the comments from some of the linked old Reason stories, and I think the this dudes supporters really are slavering idiots.

    Not a one of them are a thoughtful defense. They’re all either, “Well if he was really that bad, the ACLU would have gotten him by now, so all these accusations are false!”, or the more colorful, “Only brain-dead liberals defend criminals and lawbreakers! Go Sheriff Joe!”

    Apparently the chief prosecutor for that county attributes crime to “rights-happy individualism” (if only those idiots didn’t harp on their rights like a bunch of queers, we could clean up these streets!), and calls libertarianism a brain-disorder (because it interferes with the absolute and brutal application of law).

    Great guys.

    1. Arizona has really taken a big pendulum swing toward the authoritarian side in the last decade or so. Seriously, they dropped 9 places in that last survey for “free-est states”. I really regret moving here and will probably be moving to some major city in a blue state on the coast in the next few years.

      1. Move to Seattle, dude! Our police are almost as bad, but the people are much less supportive of them. You can’t do much better than that!

      2. I am seriously thinking about Canada right about now. If I can learn enough of the language, maybe the Czech Republic.

        1. Planning to Czech out huh?

        2. This is actually funny. Are you under some delusion about Canadia as being a reletively free country compared to the US? Try living in Quebec as an anglophone for a few years, and get back to me about how free you feel.

  10. Why the hell would anyone *hate* Sheriff Joe? Hell, I hate the folks who keep putting him in office. Why wouldn’t he keep doing what he’s doing? The fucking retards out there keep voting him in for it.

  11. THE TWO [EMPIRE] PARTIES–Peas in the Imperial Pod

    Now, the political situation in the American-Israeli Military Complex [EMPIRE] as degenerated into the Plutocracy of Hypocrisy, so much that the two parties, the Red Party [EVANGELICAL NATIONALIST] and the Blue Party [IMPERIAL SOCIALIST] are completely indistinguishable from one another, we saw Pig and Man sitting together, and neither could tell the difference!


    1. Wow, not only was this practically a tweet, it was also lucid and a reasonable good observation.

  12. That’s weird…. where’s Dunphy?

    You’d think he’d be here patiently explaining to us immature types how it’s at The Discretion of The Officer whether or not to let us do just about anything.

  13. Arpaio know that making inmates wear pink boxer shorts with “Go Joe”

    That would tempt me to shit my pants.

  14. Who are you to get doiwn on a great american libertarin like Sherriff Arpaio.

    What kind of libertarians don’t know that arresting dirty beaners and subjecting them to degrading living conditons is the real AMERRRICCAN WWWAAYYY!!!!.

    1. In Joe’s tents, everyone gets degrading conditions! Fairness abounds!

    2. Speaking of which, where has our darling hawkish libertarian been lately? Haven’t seen him around in awhile.

  15. —> I paid $32.67 for a XBOX 360 and my mom got a 17 inch Toshibalaptop for $94.83 being delivered to our house tomorrow by fedex. I will never again pay expensive retail prices at stores.I even sold a 46 inch HDTV to my boss for $650 and it only cost me $52.78 to get. Here is the website we using to get all this stuff,

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