Bread and Circus. And Chickens. And Tanks.

Sometimes, a story comes along that defies commentary.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio rolled out the tanks to take down a man suspected of cockfighting. West Valley residents in the neighborhood are crying foul after armored vehicles, including a tank, rolled into their neighborhood to make the bust.

Neighbor Debra Ross was so worried she called 911 and went outside where a nearby home had its windows blown out, was crawling with dozens of SWAT members in full gear, armored vehicles and a bomb robot.

“When the tank came in and pushed the wall over and you see what's in there, and all it is, is a bunch of chickens,” Ross said.

In a massive show of force on Monday, the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office executed a search warrant and arrested the homeowner, Jesus Llovera, on charges of suspected cockfighting

Llovera was alone in the house at the time of the arrest, and he was unarmed.“I think taxpayers should be shocked,” said Robert Campus, Llovera’s attorney.

Campus said he believes the operation costs tens of thousands of dollars.Deputies had no probable cause to believe Llovera was armed or dangerous, according to Campus.Campus said he believes the entire scene was basically a stage, to help actor Steven Seagal’s TV show, “Lawman.”

Seagal was riding in the tank.

My column on the sad spectacle of reality cop shows here. I also wrote about how the presence of reality show cameras may have contributed to the shooting of 7-year-old Aiyana Jones here.

(Thanks to Franklin Harris for the tip.)

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  • Abdul||

    Seagal was riding in the tank.

    At what point did he cry out: "Anyone here seen Bobbie Lupo?"

  • ||

    It's "Anybody seen Richie? I'm gonna keep comin' back until someone remembers seein' Richie."

    Or, another option is "Anybody seen Richie? Anybody know why Richie did Bobby Lupo?"

  • Barely Suppressed Rage||

    That Richie was a major-league asshole, too.

  • Abdul||

    You are quite the Segalogist.

  • ||

    Like with Mondrian, only with the earlier works.

  • ||

    "Anybody seen Foghorn Leghorn? I'm gonna keep comin' back until someone remembers seein' Foghorn."

  • ||

    I really think someone needs to phone in an anonymous tip on Steven Seagal's address. Say that they saw him with heavily armed people in body armor.

  • Tim||

    Arpiao, Segal, Qaddaffi. Whatever.

  • MNG||

    Yeah, but maybe they had RPGs (Rooster Propelled Grenades).

  • MNG||

    Or Rocket Propelled Gamecocks.

  • Jim||

    I give you full credit for effort.

  • ||

    Campus said he believes the entire scene was basically a stage, to help actor Steven Seagal’s TV show, “Lawman.”

    Ah well, if it's for TV then it's alright. I'm sure the show will be reimbursing the county and the neighborhood for the expense. Right?

  • ||

    Joe Arpiao is a perfect example of why we need to scrutinize local government just as much as we would Congress and the White House.

  • ||

    It's up to the local people to scrutinize local government.

  • ||

    It's a perfect example for why everyone should move out of Maricopa County, AZ.

  • Ray||

    Ding we have a winner.

  • ||

    I really really don't want them coming south to Pima County

  • AlmightyJB||

    There is a number of immature jokes here but I'm not gonna start them.

  • Barely Suppressed Rage||

    That's OK, there's plenty of others who will. Just see downthread...

  • ||

    A tank?! A fucking tank!? Did I miss the part when Maricopa County became Ho Chi Min City? Belfast? Sarajevo? Someone, for the love of god, take away this man's tank.

  • ||

    its a modified APC which civilians (incorrectly) call tanks

  • ||

    ok, well that's slightly less rediculous. But still, APC's for cockfighting, wtf?

  • The Gobbler||

    I think it is a great idea. Those cocks can kill:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/worl.....-cockfight

  • ||

    oh, so it's only a tank if it has a cannon? or is it the treads? Or only if it's under the command of the US Army?

    What part of Armored Personel Carrier makes it not-a-tank?

  • ||

    no big boom

  • The Gobbler||

    Just like your commentary.

  • Ray||

    Your wife knows what you mean. Or life partner.

  • ||

    The lack of armor, tank gun, and suitability for destroying enemy armor

  • ||

    The lack of armor

    So, the "Armored" in the name is a misnomer then?

  • ||

    no its lightly armored against small arms fire & shrapnel. hauls a fire team. not intended to engage tanks

  • ||

    So, a tank is a tank because it fights other tanks?

  • Tonio||

    Basically, yes. Often confused with self-propelled artillery and armored personnel carriers by nonspecialists.

  • Tonio||

    Not because it of what it does, but what it's designed to do. True tanks are designed to fight other tanks.

  • Vermont Gun Owner||

    In that case we don't need any tanks at all, because if we don't have any tanks for the enemy tanks to fight, theirs are useless.

  • ||

    So, a tank is a tank because it fights other tanks?

    Somebody oughta send that Tienanmen Square guy a letter explaining that his act of defiance wasn't brave, since he wasn't actually facing down a tank.

  • Tonio||

    That was indeed a tank. But he would have been no less brave had he "only" faced down an APC - unarmed and all.

  • ||

    But he would have been no less brave had he "only" faced down an APC - unarmed and all.

    But APCs are benign, friendly, vehicles, where's the bravery in facing one down?

  • ||

    ""Somebody oughta send that Tienanmen Square guy a letter explaining that his act of defiance wasn't brave, since he wasn't actually facing down a tank.""

    After people made an attempt to explain what a tank is, you're still not getting it? Do you need flashcards or something?

  • ||

    After people made an attempt to explain what a tank is, you're still not getting it? Do you need flashcards or something?

    Apparently.

    Or maybe I'm just confused about what makes the deployment of an APC by civilian law enforcement any more appropriate than A Real Tank, and I'm just latching onto the definition of a tank because the people upthread supporting such a deployment would like the APC to seem like an entirely different animal.

    Despite everyone's attempts, I'm still not convinced in the validity of that assertion.

  • ||

    I don't think anyone is trying to assert the idea that it's more appropriate because it's an APC. For the most part, I don't think many here, if any, thinks Sheriff Joe has a legit reason for having an APC.

  • JD||

    APCs are sadly common among law enforcement agencies. The police department for the town where I grew up, population ~40k, had an APC.

  • MysteryFish||

    Because words have meaning?

  • ||

    I saw nothing in the article suggesting that the tank had been neutered.

  • kiazin||

  • Mensan||

    kiazin|3.24.11 @ 9:22AM|#
    The aforementioned tank: http://matchbin-assets.s3.amaz.....a_tank.jpg

    That's not a tank. It's an M109 howitzer. Why the hell does a sheriff's office need a 155mm artillery piece? Especially one with a 200 mile range. Is Arpaio planning to shell Mexico?

  • Troy||

    It probably isn't a tank. Probably an M113.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    What I want to know is -- What the fuck is wrong with the people of Maricopa County?

  • ||

    u gotta ask?

  • goob||

    I'm white. They don't bother me.

    But seriously, the only thing wrong with it is the politics. The weather is great, no natural disasters, no bad stuff to speak of.

  • ||

    Arizona: Laboratory of Democracy

  • Barely Suppressed Rage||

    As a holder of a biology degree, I can state with certainty that sometimes, what you get in your laboratory is some kind of nasty funk growing in a petri dish.

  • ||

    How many chickens were killed under the treads of this tank?

    WTF?! Who thinks a tank is necessary for police work? Even if you were going up against a heavily fortified guerilla force, a tank is basically a giant "kick me" sign for anti-vehicle weaponry. They're worse than useless in urban combat.

  • Kristen||

    Chickenhawks don't know from combat tactics!

  • Gregory Smith||

    I resent that stupid term, tell me, do you like healthcare? Are you a doctorhawk because you didn't study medicine? Stop being such a communist, in a free society people choose where they want to go.

  • Tonio||

    ^pwnd, Bitch.

  • zoltan||

    Shut it, chickenhawk.

  • Gregory Smith||

    F U, Zoltan, fucking commie.

  • Robert||

    The story said all the chickens were euthanized. To prevent them from being used for cockfighting, I guess. Or meat. Or egg laying.

  • ||

    Or egg laying.

    *cough* Roosters *cough*

  • Robert||

    How do you know they were roosters? All I could see was they had wings and feathers.

  • ||

    Well, I just assumed that because it's called Cock fighting, they use cocks/roosters in the fights.

    Maybe good stewardship of a cock fighting ranch requires a harem of females for the winners, I dunno.

  • Tonio||

    *cough* city boy *cough*

  • ||

    Ohhhh, I'm soooo ignorant, god, how can i manage to survive.

    Wtf. Are you saying people actually use hens for cockfights? Or are you saying that "cock" is a gender neutral term for chicken (it wasn't where I grew up)? Or, the rancher is definitely laying eggs anyway, because how else does he maintain his supply of fighting birds?

    I guess i just lack the Country Wisdom to understand why eggs are necessarily involved in a sport featuring male birds.

  • ||

    Oh, or maybe you were calling robert a city boy.

    Fucking threading, how do they work?

  • ||

    Just to clarify, Wylie, my 4:08 was directed at Robert's 3:50. Note the indenting.

  • ||

    Just to clarify, Wylie, my 4:08 was directed at Robert's 3:50. Note the indenting.

    If you would care to note the indenting, everything after robert's post is on the same level. Still, excuse the heated defense of my country-upbringing.

  • Tonio||

    More to the point, Bob, the reason they're called cock fights is because they're fights between roosters (male fowl). Roosters naturally fight one another for access to hens, and humans have exploited this behavior for entertainment. Hens (females) are not aggressive, hence of no use in cock fighting.

  • Robert||

    Apparently all of you are missing a point that I can hardly believe I'm the only one who saw, and you think I missed a simple one. I know the names for the different sexes of fowl.

    Some guy who was once convicted of attending a cock fight gets his chicken ranch busted into and chickens all killed, on a charge of putting on cock fights. How do you know there's anything to that charge? Even if there's something to that charge, how do you know he was raising boy birds for that purpose?

    Anyone who's going to arrange for Steven Segal to be filmed on a death ride over someone's chicken coops probably isn't going to be scrupulous about the likelihood of conviction.

  • The Gobbler||

    " All I could see was they had wings and feathers."

    Much like the KFC 10-piece bucket.

  • Fluffy||

    Killing all the chickens in order to save them from being killed?

    How Deuteronomic.

  • Vermont Gun Owner||

    We had to kill them to find out what was in them.

  • Cliché Bandit||

    let's see, chestnuts, breadcrumbs, garlic, parsely. Yup looks good.

  • ||

    It's not like you'd be able to properly scrutinize their contents with them squawking and flapping blood all over the place.

  • Matrix||

    Those chickens were known drug dealers.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Gregory Smith. Cock rings. Dying with honor. Talk about a joke just waiting to be made...

  • ||

    "Coming in May: The Cock Hunter, starring Gregory Smith as Nick."

  • juris imprudent||

    He's still trying to figure out what is sexy about wrapping a dead rooster around his package.

  • Barely Suppressed Rage||

    The good Sheriff is enforcing the laws and protecting us from criminals.

    Is this a troll spoof, or are you serious? Because if you're serious - and I condition the following statement on that "if" - if you're serious, you're world-class, major-league fucking tool.

  • ||

    Remember that Donderoooooooooooooooooooooooclaimed that Rudy 9iulliani was a great libertarian, wel ol' Greg thinks Arpaio is a great libertarian.

    That's just the way that "real" libertarians think.

  • Barely Suppressed Rage||

    Evidently, he's got "libertarian" confused with "Stalinistic, sadistic, power-hungry, authoritarian asshole."

  • Gregory Smith||

    Evidently you've got "libertarian" confused with "anarchistic." Seriously dude, you sound like a progressive. Why do so many libertarians like the left, anyway? Are you closet gun haters? You remind me of Bill Maher saying that nobody needs to buy more than one gun a month.

  • ||

    You're like Dondero but without all the fucks. I bet I could take a Dondero post and remove the fucks, and no one would be able to tell the difference. Fuck.

  • Vermont Gun Owner||

    You'd also have to remove references to handing out fliers for the LP during a snowstorm.

  • Cliché Bandit||

    while i agree with your opinions of DONDEROOOOOOO i must say he did actually volunteer with the LP on several issues and was an asset in that particualr situation...just sayin', fairs fair.

  • Vermont Gun Owner||

    An asset in all situations. He gave out fliers in the snow. THE SNOW. How dare you limit his awesomeness.

  • Jim||

    "Evidently you've got "libertarian" confused with "anarchistic."'

    Um, there is a LARGE crossover population of anarcho-capitalists within the spectrum of libertarianism. Rothbard was a huge influence.

  • Gregory Smith||

    I will never understand that, why would an anarchist, which is basically a criminal, want to do with libertarianism?

  • ||

    Unfortunately, he is completely Team Red crimson serious.

  • Jennifer||

    Hi, everybody! I have a blog, but can't get people interested enough to read it for its own sake, so I must resort to desperate link-whoring instead. Joe Arpaio is a great man! Anyone who dislikes him is a cockfighting sadist! Only a hypocrite could support diversity yet oppose animal torture. These and other insights are explored in greater depth on my blog. Read my blog! You'll find it by clicking on my name, and I'll cut and paste the address here too just in case you didn't realize that:

    --- MY BLOG ---
    http://feralgenius.blogspot.com/
    --- MY BLOG ---

    Did I mention I'm a BLOGGER who BLOGS about things on my BLOG? Blog blog bloggity blog blog, and I'd copy the address here again except I'm afraid the extra link might run afoul of Reason's spam filter (so much for libertarians' alleged commitment to free speech, and for a magazine called REASON you sure can be unreasonable sometimes, ha ha ha).

    Did I mention that I have a blog?

  • Paul||

    The irony...

  • ||

    God, you're pathetic. Not Jennifer, because it's clearer than day that this isn't her, but you are literally the worst spoofer I've ever seen. Go beat yourself in the head with a mallet until you improve, because anything would be better than this.

  • Kristen||

    It's rectal, isn't it?

  • ||

    Possibly. Or anonypussy. Or my stalker. Who cares? They're all pathetic and blur together anyway.

  • Kristen||

    HAR - I thought rectal was all of the above

  • Jennifer||

    Or he could be like Dondeeerrrroooo -- neither a spoof nor a sockpuppet nor a troll, but someone who is honestly, genuinely and sincerely batshit insane.

  • Jennifer||

    My 3:53 pm comment was supposed to appear AFTER Epi's remark about Pat King, not before. Threaded comments continue to suck.

  • ||

    someone who is honestly, genuinely and sincerely batshit insane

    He's too perfectly attuned to saying the things that will most irritate the commenters here. No batshit insane person would be that perfectly tuned. Like Tony, or Chad, it's just too damn perfect for riling people up, which is the absolute hallmark of a troll/sockpuppet.

  • Cliché Bandit||

    i know him, i assure you he is no troll/sockpuppet, that batshit is genuine.

  • Jennifer||

    In all seriousness, Epi -- a few months back I was going through the archives looking for something I'd posted, and did find a few spoofers pretending to be me. But the spoofers generally focus more on sex themes, offering to fuck every man posting here on my behalf and so forth.

  • ||

    There's also been a spoofer called Pat A. King (?) who has come on and posted stuff like what you wrote, and sometimes under regulars' handles, so I just assumed it was them.

    I originally thought Greg-o was real, because he has a blog that is actually updated, and who would go through that much work for a spoof? But I now think he's just an elaborate sockpuppet. That's a lot of work for a sockpuppet, though.

  • Russ 2000||

    That's a lot of work for a sockpuppet, though.

    I just assumed Gregory A Smith was just a refreshed version of lonewacko. But I never cared enough to click a link to confirm. Even if they are not exactly the same, they still close enough to trigger the "ignore" synapses.

  • Jennifer||

    I am shocked and appalled by the disdain my last post generated. What -- is Gregory Smith NOT a good role model for a self-described libertarian blogger? Is Joe Arpaio NOT a fine man whose main concern is "protecting the good people of Maricopa County" rather than "sucking up to Z-list celebrities like Steven Seagal?" Or -- most terrifying possibility of all -- is my sarcasm generator currently malfunctioning worse than a Fukushima nuke plant?

  • Paul||

    Yes.

  • ||

    Some of us are still waiting for Professor Frink's sarcasm detector to reach market.

  • Hugh Akston||

    I got it right off, Jennifer, and I lawled.

    You'll have to forgive the others. They're used to dealing with idiots patriots idiots like Gregory Donderooooooo.

  • ||

    -5pts for not including the word "blog" 50 times in this post.

  • ||

    I thought that actually was Jennifer imitating Gregory Smith. Something tells me he still won't get it...

  • ||

    And I should refresh more oftener.

  • ||

    Refresh smarter, not harder.

  • Warty||

    If that's not Jennifer, then there are too many layers here for my primitive caveman brain.

  • Gregory Smith||

    Dude, you don't even have advertising. Why bother blogging if you're not gonna profit?

  • ||

    Yeah, you don't bring a fucking tank to a cockfight. That's just a certain someone stroking is own cock. The police and the military are separate not just in the org chart but in the hardware. Cops don't need a fucking tank. That's bullshit.

  • ||

    Yeah, you don't bring a fucking tank to a cockfight.

    Well, if you really want to win...

  • ||

    If you really want to win, you'd bring a fox. At night.

  • Gregory Smith||

    Of course not! You bring aromatherapy candles and masseuses. You bring those Marxists from Deaf Poetry Jam so they can read rhymes about how much their lives suck. You bring hors' douvres. You bring pate de fois gras. You bring Hollywood celebrities that are going to cry about those poor rooster.

    But a tank that might protect police officers from dying in the line of duty? God forbid, right?

  • tarran||

    If you need an APC to protect your men from their fellow citizens, it means you or your men are either
    a) enforcing tyrannical laws
    b) behaving like a lawless gang
    c) paranoiacs

    In the case of Sheriff Joe, all three apply.

  • Gregory Smith||

    Following your argument, cops shouldn't carry guns or wear bulletproof vests either. Honestly, cops should go on strike and let the criminals run wild, if that did happen then maybe people like you would stop treating cops like they're the bad guys.

  • tarran||

    Oh this is too funny - a "libertarian" who thinks only the state can protect people from crime.

    So Greg, did you send your check into the Brady Canter to Prevent Gun Violence yet? You're probably their biggest supporter.

  • Def Poetry Slam Attendee||

    I really, really wish your malaprop was accurate.

  • ||

    Can we blame him for being a fascist fucking pig???

  • The Gobbler||

    "or whatever you call the places where cocks fight"

    What is Hit & Run, Alex?

  • Almanian||

    I LOL'ed a little

  • Lowdog||

    Dudes, I've lived in Maricopa County for over 20 years, and I still have no idea how this guy continues to get elected. His officers have beaten people to death, he's harassed and intimidated people, there's concerns he's basically stolen money, and yet he's still here.

    "But he's tough on crime" - is the usual mantra. Oh, and he hates immigrants, so there's that.

  • Kristen||

    Dudes, I've lived in Maricopa County for over 20 years, and I still have no idea how this guy continues to get elected

    See comment frmo Gregory Smith for your answer.

  • pmains||

    And the Tea Party loves him. LOVES him. The only guy they love more than Arpaio is that Nazi-loving Russell Pearce. Belligerence on immigration covers a multitude of sins, it appears.

  • ||

    The Tea Party is having him up in my area to speak. I've been retching so much that I've got the dry heaves.

  • pmains||

    On the plus side, Ron Paul won the Mesa Red Mountain Tea Party's straw poll.

  • Gregory Smith||

    Gee, I don't know, maybe the average person likes cops that are tough on crime. Maybe the average Jack Q. Taxpayer isn't crazy about illegal aliens sending their children to their public schools and then demanding taxpayer funded Hispanic education.

    Call me crazy, but do you even bother to talk to regular people in Maricopa county?

    Jesus F. Christ, since when does "libertarian" mean "pro-criminal"?

  • tarran||

    Jesus F. Christ, since when does "libertarian" mean "pro-criminal"?

    Since the state started making criminals out of people who had done nothing wrong?

    Greg, my hat is off to you, you're an even better sock-puppet than Neal was.

  • Pusillanonymous||

    Neil came back today and lol'd, I think. Somewhere.

  • Gregory Smith||

    There's nothing wrong with cockfighting? Gee, I thought it was a crime.

  • tarran||

    No victim, no crime, baby.

    I think cockfighting is disgusting, but it's not a crime.

    The other stuff you were whining about, moving without government permission, for example, is a very weird thing for a self de3sribed freedom lover to winge about.

    I don't like people sending their kids to government schools, either, but that's more a function of the existence of government schools. I notice that their existence does not bother you, so much as the fact that the socialist government schools are made available to more people than you would like.

    That's why I think you are a sock-puppet. I have trouble believing any person could be as totalitarian as you while thinking they were pro-liberty.

  • Almanian||

    Call me crazy

    Nah, I'm gonna call you a dumbass. Dumbass.

  • Vermont Gun Owner||

    Jesus F. Christ, since when does "libertarian" mean "pro-criminal"?

    It doesn't. That's why we are anti-Arpaio.

  • pmains||

    I'm a regular Maricopan, and I don't believe it's unreasonable to require a deputy who stole defense documents to apologize. Arpaio thinks that is too hurtful to his pwecious deputy's feewings. Wait, who's pro-criminal again?

  • ##||

    Gee, I don't know, maybe the average person is tired of the cops acting like stormtroopers in a Steven Seagal movie? Maybe the average Jack Q. Taxpayer isn't crazy about police officers shooting their children or setting them on fire with flash bangs while looking for a non violent offender at the wrong address?

    Call me crazy, but I doubt that the regular people in Maricopa County really want the police to make up the law as they go along or ignore it whenever it's inconvenient.

    Jesus F. Christ, since when doesn't "libertarian" mean "pro-liberty"?

  • Lowdog||

    And on cue, Greg comes in and confirms what I was writing...haha!

  • Lowdog||

    Sorry Kristen, I comment slowly... :)

  • A Serious Man||

    Well what's the point of having a tank if you aren't going to use it? What's the point of having Steven Segal if you're aren't going to use it?

  • Anonymous Coward||

    There's no force like excessive force.

  • ||

    I believe in using excessive force only in moderation. Or is it moderate force in excess? Nothing exceeds like excess anyhow.

  • NoVAHockey||

    There's a Steven Segal three-word movie title in there somewhere.

  • Jim||

    "Cocks of Justice"

  • Barely Suppressed Rage||

    Steven Segal is Out for Chicken!

  • ||

    Tag line: "Nobody's choking any chickens on MY watch."

  • ||

    See gall is THE chickenhawk !

  • Jim||

    The sequal is

    "Cocks of Justice 2: In Dark Meat Territory"

  • NoVAHockey||

    rule 34?

  • Brett L||

    Seriously, you didn't go with "Out for Cock"?

  • ||

    Steven Chicken Seagal

  • Tim||

    "Hiding in a tank from chickens" is as short as I can envision.

  • ||

    While it's not as funny as some of the suggestions above, I believe that "In Fowl Territory" fits the oeuvre nicely.

  • ||

    oeuvre

    Eggcellent. *monty burns finger templing*

  • H man||

    If I recall he was the cock puncher in the Onion movie.

  • ||

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Nice.

  • Barely Suppressed Rage||

    Maybe they thought it was a drive-through and were looking for some BBQ wings.

  • pmains||

    And my favorite part -- "115 birds were euthanized on the spot." Well done, Sheriff Joe. No one is going to abuse those chickens anymore.

  • Jim||

    "Euthanized" on the spot? Should my bullshit translator be reading, "were blown the fuck up & crushed under treads because what's the point of bringing a tank out somewhere if you don't use it?"

  • ||

    "We have destroy the <object> to save the <object>", used to be a joke. Now it's SOP.

  • Dylboz||

    And they saved the ever-lovin' shit out of 'em!

  • Nipplemancer||

    holy fucking shit. this is a news item straight out of bizzaro world. I guess Sheriff Joe won the WOD and can focus his attention on other things now.

  • Robert Evans||

    None Dare Call It Cock. Or Sheriff Joe doesn't, anyway. Here's what his Facebook entry for March 9th had to say on this:

    "Just returned from the scene of a rooster fighting operation in Laveen where posse member Steven Segal was assisting our Deputies."

  • Barely Suppressed Rage||

    Oh fuck, I'm gonna puke. He's not only a major-league asshole, but he brags about it on FB?

  • Rock Action ||

    He's not only a major-league asshole, but so he brags about it on FB.

    FIFY?

  • Kristen||

    I'll just start calling him Starfucker Joe

  • ||

    posse member Steven Segal was assisting our Deputies

    So it's legal for a civilian to assist a law enforcement operation? Can i take a ride-along and and dish out some beatings when the cops pull someone over? The idea never seemed appealing before, but if I get to participate in some consequence-free state sanctioned violence, then I'm totally onboard.

  • Matrix||

    Seagal is a cop in Louisiana.

  • ||

    Why did i have to hit wikipedia to confirm this fact, wtf is wrong with me.

    Oh, yeah, here's why:

    "Seagal Enterprises markets an energy drink known as Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt, as well as an homeopathic oil product line.[19] Seagal personally endorses this drink, saying, "I have traveled the world creating this drink; there is none better that I know."[19] He also has his own aftershave called Scent of Action."

  • ||

    ""called Scent of Action."

    That's funny. That's why you take a shower before leaving the house.

  • Barely Suppressed Rage||

    Arpaio's next target: barbering without a license.

    I can see the SWAT team crashing through the door, full body armor, ACOG-equipped M4s at the ready, screaming, "DROP THE COMB! DROP THE COMB! GET OUT OF THE CHAIR AND DROP THE COMB!!"

    Then they get out their field testing kits and take samples of that blue water in the comb jar...

    Woe be unto the guy who is holding a pair of scissors when that shit goes down.

  • ||

    And Greg will be ranting about upholding the law...

  • ||

    they get out their field testing kits and take samples of that blue water in the comb jar

    And if it turns blue, it's 100% pure.

  • Vermont Gun Owner||

    Dude, have you seen those razors barbers have? We can't risk good cops being hacked to pieces by unlicensed barbers on a rampage.

  • ||

    There was a recent series of raids on barbor shops in D.C. Supposedly the inspectors were looking for business code violations, but they used SWAT teams to serve the inspection papers. That allowed the SWAT teams to look for other crimes, such as drug violations. It was just so much easier to use business license violations to gain complete control of a business, then to do some police work and actually see if there were drug crimes going on first. For all the time and money of the raids, they only turned up some trivial drug possessions.

  • Mensan||

    They must have learned that from the cops in Orlando.

  • creech||

    Good thing Michael Vick didn't do his dog-fighting in Arizona. Suckers would have used a squadron of F-15s.

  • ||

    Ummm, no. They have long-established procedures for dealing with canine assailants, and they don't involve airstrikes.

  • alan||

    How is this NOT a foreign invasion on US soil? His name is Arpaio, for fuck sakes! When is the Air Force going to napalm this menace once and for all?

  • ||

    Or just deport his ass. He could do the paperwork himself.

  • Vermont Gun Owner||

    Nuke him from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

  • Alan||

    If Sea-gal's television show were really a reality show, it would be called "Outlaw".

    I've heard that there's been an uptick in the number of police officers being killed lately. Perhaps it the beginning of the civil war?

  • ||

    the civil war

    So, we're agreed that it's inevitable then?

  • ||

    If we have a civil war, we need to remember that Sheriff Arpasshole has tanks. We need anti-tank weapons is all I'm saying.

  • ||

    Look, if Iraqis can manage some IEDs, I think some good-ole American elbow grease can manage.

  • Vermont Gun Owner||

    He can keep his tanks. I've got something far more sinister: a 4 foot deep river and some cliffs.

  • ||

    Damn, i've been shopping around for good geographical features, but Home Depot was fresh-out and Ace wanted to much for installation.

  • Vermont Gun Owner||

    Just dig a moat.

  • ||

    Yeah, you try getting a permit for that.

    Rivers and Cliffs are "nature" so you actually get carbon credits for installing them on your property.

  • pmains||

    Meanwhile, Melendres v. Arpaio has been tied up in the courts for 3 years. It appears that MCSO was deleting potentially damning emails. Joe Arpaio claims that he doesn't remember writing any part of his own books and certainly doesn't agree with their contents. It's a complete circus.

  • Cliché Bandit||

    from the link:
    "Plaintiffs formally requested documents in a Rule 34 document request on February 25, 2009. "

    Woah...what kind of court you got over there?

  • Troy||

    So steven, after a career as some kind of shitty wannabe actor, is now a 1/2 assed wannabe cop?

  • ||

    Which is even funnier because with very little effort he could be a Full-Asssed Actual Cop.

  • ||

    As Matrix @ 4:49PM pointed out, he is.

    *commencement of self-flagellation*

  • tarran||

    One infuriating thing to me is that the guy has a black belt in Aikido, and this shit is very strongly in the "you're not allowed to do that" phase space of Aiki.

    He's supposed to know better.

  • ||

    Did he know any better when he beat the crap outta his wife? Is there any wonder why he wants to be a cop?

  • ||

    ""One infuriating thing to me is that the guy has a black belt in Aikido, and this shit is very strongly in the "you're not allowed to do that" phase space of Aiki.""

    Right. I was thinking the same thing. O Sensei would not be happy.

  • sean||

    I bet Seagal earned his black belt as much as Elvis Presley earned his black belt

  • Brett L||

    Have you seen the Elvis Comeback Special? He kicks a bunch of city-slicker ass using kung fu wearing a Canadian Tuxedo. Don't tell me it wasn't earned!

  • ||

    Sometimes, a story comes along that defies commentary.

    This story has failed to defy commentary 160 times, and counting....

  • ||

    A tank? I doubt it.

    But this is still a horrifying example of fame-hungry Joe playing to the gallery, as usual.

    Seagal can be forgiven, as his IQ is below room temperature, and riding in a tank to bust a cokfighting suspect probably seemed like a plan to him.

  • ||

    Seagal can be forgiven, as his IQ is below room temperature

    I assume you are referring to room temperature in degrees centigrate?

  • ||

    Many people in Maricopa county are sick of Joe who is a punk and a bully. He is also a coward.

  • SIV||

    IIRC, quite a few of the regular douchebags here support a cockfighting ban.

  • ||

    Some of us support the murder ban too but we still think the cops have to follow proper rules to enforce it.

    You know like the ones in the Constitution. You know that piece of paper Greg Smith thinks is just for fucking pussy commies to follow.

  • ||

    Sheriff Joe for DHS dirctor !!!

  • ||

    Throw the criminal animal abusers out of the USA. Send them back to their uncivilized barbaric 3rd world countries where they belong !!!

  • دردشه عراقية||

    Thanks

GET REASON MAGAZINE

Get Reason's print or digital edition before it’s posted online

  • Progressive Puritans: From e-cigs to sex classifieds, the once transgressive left wants to criminalize fun.
  • Port Authoritarians: Chris Christie’s Bridgegate scandal
  • The Menace of Secret Government: Obama’s proposed intelligence reforms don’t safeguard civil liberties

SUBSCRIBE

advertisement