TSA: the "officer followed proper current screening procedures"


Of course she did. Watch the proper current screening procedures in action. And keep your children the hell off airplanes, if you can.

Link via the Twitter feed of Allah Pundit. Reason on the TSA here.

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  1. Thank heavens they’re on the job. America’s flights are threatened on an almost daily basis by 6-year olds.

    1. And apparently they regularly hide their diabolical bombs and guns in their straight, flat hair.

  2. I liked the preemptive Nuremberg defense: “That’s their job.”

    1. If the freakin’ MORONS that work for the TSA aren’t FUCKING smart enough to exercise even the smallest degree of discretion then they should be operating the goddamned fryer at Burger King.

      They are ‘following prcedure’ to avoid accountability, responsibility, and to protect their phoney-baloney, do-nothing, public-union empowered jobs. I hope there is a special place reserved in Hell for these jack-asses, right next to their gulag/concentration/work camp guard buddies.

      1. Hey, asshole. I spend a lot more time at BK than I do in the airports. Don’t fuck with my lunches.

        1. Ok, I’ll retract my BK suggestion – but what sort of productive work could we get these clowns to do? Shine shoes, maybe?

          1. Pylons at highway construction sites.

            1. Don’t blame the fucking hourly pukes for everything. They’re following Junior Stalinist Janet and her fearless leader Big Uncle Barry.

      2. The really special place in Hell is reserved for the politicians, political appointees, and senior bureaucrats that created and administer the DHS and TSA. They actually have the intelligence to know that security theater is unnecessary for transportation security, but useful for making US citizens compliant with government edicts. The little girl now nows that she must comply with the even the most absurd and humiliating demands of her overlords.

        1. Training the young ones today to grow the BDSM fetish community tomorrow.

          Now that’s stimulus!

  3. It actually was better than I thought it was going to be. Of course, this is more a function of my lowered expectations than the wisdom of having government workers putting their fingers inside kids waistbands. There wasn’t anything insanely inappropriate, like that cop mounting the drunk girl while chanting ‘Stop resisting’.

    1. The policy is obscene but the agent seemed to be going out of her way to make the best of this horrible policy. The agent’s respectful demeanor doesn’t make this policy any less invasive but her attitude made me think of her as a public servant rather than a tyrant.

  4. I hope the TSA have their stun guns on the ready because one of these little terrorists is going to bite back. The toddler in the background doesn’t sound thrilled either

    1. Maybe they should get a few pointers first from that baby squirrel pepper spraying cop.

      1. The last time I flew I was almost charged with sexual assault because my camel toe bit the TSA screener’s hand and wouldn’t let go. Not my fault she hasn’t been fed in almost a decade.

        1. don’t use my handle

          1. EOM

        2. Is this a spoof?

          1. Yeah, the real rather has a moose knuckle.

          2. Alas, no. Are you offering to blow out the cobwebs?

            1. don’t use my handle

              1. his ‘handle’ is raw and sore

        3. LOL. Genius.

          1. Yeah. I don’t know why Rather is complaining. She should have just kept quiet and not said anything and taken credit for it. For a moment I thought rather had written something really funny.

  5. If the officer followed proper procedures, then proper procedures are fucked up.

  6. Don’t fix; abolish.

  7. You know who else were just following orders…

    1. Darth Vader’s minions?

      1. A waitress in training?

        1. My clients?

          1. Amazon.com auditor?

            1. The Light Brigade?

  8. Let’s just call this what it is. Domestic Terrorism.

    Home grown terrorists in our midst. Hired, trained and funded by our own government.

  9. That little kid will grow up to be a libertarian, or a serf.

  10. I just witnessed a molestation!

    1. No, it’s only molestation if it’s done by a man who doesn’t work for the government. This lady is covered on both counts, so it’s A-Ok!

    2. No, it’s only molestation if it’s done by a man who doesn’t work for the government. This lady is covered on both counts, so it’s A-Ok!

  11. Brave men and women, performing essential government services.

    Keeping America safe.

  12. Tom “the groper” Daschle , “you can’t professionalize if you don’t federalize”

  13. Hey, if not for the ever-vigilant and highly-trained TSA officers, that girl might have smuggled dangerous and contraband Polly Pockets or My Little Ponies onto that passenger aircraft!

    Meanwhile, you’ve got a woman getting raped in a Denver airport concourse while two workers walk by and ignore it.

    1. …two workers walk by and ignore it

      I doubt it. The video will show up on the internet eventually

      1. yes, because rape victims always make shit up. stop using my handle, helle. i can have you banned in a second

        1. banned? is that better than rape-rape?

        2. you stupid piece of shit; i get banned

          1. fuck off, helle. POS

            1. What’s it like knowing you aren’t a man? I bet you sit to piss

              1. STOP USING MY HANDLE

                  1. now this is comedy gold

    2. Share48

      E-Mail News Alerts
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      Police: Woman Sexually Assaulted By Ex-Marine At DIA
      Police: Sex Assault Happened Inside Concourse A
      Russell Haythorn and Alan Gathright

      POSTED: 4:49 pm MDT April 12, 2011
      UPDATED: 8:05 am MDT April 13, 2011

      DENVER — A 26-year-old Oregon man was arrested and accused of sexually assaulting a female passenger inside Concourse A at Denver International Airport early Tuesday morning.

      Police said the violent sexual assault happened just after midnight Tuesday.

      Noel Alexander Bertrand, of Portland, Ore., was arrested just after midnight on a DIA concourse after two airline employees saw him attacking a woman and called police, Denver police spokesman Sonny Jackson said. Bertrand was booked on suspicion of felony sexual assault and assault. He was held at the Denver jail Tuesday on $10,000 bond.

      The 22-year-old victim, who is also from Oregon, told 7NEWS reporter Russell Haythorn she was flying to Illinois to interview at a convent.

      “I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t say anything,” the victim told Haythorn. “He grabbed me and held my neck to the ground. I started to stress out, and I couldn’t breathe very well. I started to tense up and I started to get an asthma attack.”

      She said she missed her connecting flight at DIA and didn’t have money for a hotel. So she decided just to spend the night at the airport.

      The woman said she went to Chef Jimmy’s Italian Bistro and Spirits on Concourse A and a man at the bar struck up a conversation.

      When the bistro closed, the woman said she took an escalator downstairs to find a seat. The man followed and sat next to her.

      The woman said the man asked if he could kiss her and she refused.

      “I sit up and he’s leaned in and he asks, ‘Can I kiss you?’ And when I tell him that’s too forward, before I could finish my statement, he had already pulled me in to kiss him. And he forcefully held me there,” the woman said.

      “And I’m sitting there with my neck kinked down, and I’m already frantic.”

      Suddenly, she said, the man grabbed the strings of her hooded sweatshirt and pulled, lifting her off the ground.

      The man then threw her on the floor, grabbing her head and pounding it on the floor, said the woman, who had a large bruise above her left eye.

      “I couldn’t reach anywhere. I couldn’t touch anything and I couldn’t breathe,” she said. “He told me to put myself in a position for him. He pulled my pants down and proceeded to assault me from behind.”

      The victim said the man tore off her clothing and sexually assaulted her for about 10 minutes on the concourse, which was deserted at that hour.

      Woman Says DIA Employees Witnessed What Happened, Did Nothing

      During the attack, she said two airport janitors passed by, and said nothing.

      “Another employee walked by, a female, and she looked and she walked away and kept walking. I was just so upset that I couldn’t focus on what was going on. I just kept getting my head thrown down,” she said.

      Finally, she said, two airport workers outside the terminal saw the attack through a window and called police.

      “One of the officers approached him from behind and pulled him off of me. As they were shouting when they were coming over, he wasn’t stopping. They had to pull him off of me,” she said.

      “He was trying to tell them that we were just having sex. It was a lover’s quarrel,” she said. “A woman getting beaten on the ground is not a lover’s quarrel.”

      7NEWS asked (airport spokesman)Coale if the airport is safe at all hours for women traveling alone. She insisted it is.

      “I would say, absolutely.

      1. Whoops, rogered that pull, sorry

      2. Any jarheads wish to correct this story with the usual refrain that “there’s no such thing as an ‘ex-marine'”?

        1. Police: Woman Sexually Assaulted By Ex-Marine former Marine At DIA


    3. OK, here is the requisite “rape is no laughing matter” for ya. Now, I’ve got to say, the fact that she was on her way to Chicago to interview at a convent is bizarrely amusing.

      1. What does it say about me that I saw that and immediately thought about classic movies: Heaven Knows, Mr. Allison

        1. Gee, I don’t know; it’s the rare person that thinks of coinking Deborah Kerr in an airport.

    4. Meanwhile, you’ve got a woman getting raped in a Denver airport concourse while two workers walk by and ignore it.

      Yes, but the rapist was a Marine, and we all know that without men like him, our right not to be raped would mean nothing.

      1. Why didn’t the word rape occur at all in this article about a rape?

        1. We’re like the anti-1984, all our bullshit language gets long and complex, to wear people’s minds down. Rape -> Sexual Assault, Tard -> Mentally Challenged, Black -> African-American, Suspect -> Person of Interest, etc.

          1. What’s especially stupid about the use of the term “sexual assault” in this article is that, using those words in their original, non-PC sense, she had already been sexually assaulted when the guy forcibly kissed her, and when he threw her on the floor and pounded her head on the floor, long before he tore her clothing off preparatory to rape. Implying that the sexual assault didn’t begin until she was penetrated is a bad joke.

  14. We should just stop letting people on planes. It’s the only way to keep us safe.

  15. The State at work. The face of that little girl tells all: “Why am I being violated?”

    “Because, little girl, that is what the State does.”

    1. the thought that the Dr. just stood there and watched this happening i can’t help wonder how disturbed his sleep is at night with “if only i had…” rolling around in his head…
      i hope all the “smartest people in the room” responsible for this end up in their own unique hell…

  16. I was explaining to my grandma the other day why I hate the TSA, and she told me that I shouldn’t, since the agents are just following orders. I guarantee you at least 40% of the populace shares that opinion.

    1. You should have watched HLN with Robin Meade this morning, while she was reading some viewer comments about this video. Some people were outraged, but one of them simply commented: The days of comfortable flying are over, get over it.

      The Fascism runs deep in these people…

      1. “it’s the new normal”

      2. Fred’s friend Bob hits the nail on the head:

        “They’re not the same Americans now. They crave authority,” he said. “They lust after regulation. They love being frisked, x-rayed, and felt-up at airports because it gives them a false sense of significance.”

        1. “Raaaaacist!!”

    2. Did you punch your grandmother in the face? Or is that just for when you have sex with her?

      1. I just hid her anti-clotting pills. My revenge is slow and viscous.

        1. Not by withholding anti-clotting pills, it isn’t.

          1. Fuck you and fuck your desire for my utterances to make sense. You’re just too old-fashioned to understand.

  17. Did Reason just open itself up to prosecution for distributing child pornography?

    1. My thoughts exactly. This is a video recording of child being molested. Pedophiles and statophiles will be furiously fapping over this footage.

    2. If not child porn, then Reason is guilty of treason by John Ashcroft’s standards. Because anyone who speaks of “lost liberties” gives “aid and comfort” to the terrorists according to Ashcroft, and nothing much has changed in this regard with Obama.

  18. she told me that I shouldn’t, since the agents are just following orders. I guarantee you at least 40% of the populace shares that opinion.

    Every time one of these stories appears, the quotes and comments run overwhelmingly to the side of, “I feel SAFER when this happens, and if you don’t want to be searched, don’t fly.”

    Fuck those people, and the school teachers who trained them.

    1. ^stand up and take a bow^

  19. In case you didn’t know, 911 changed everything. Anyone could be a terrorist, there is no way to know. The TSA is not allowed to profile. Profiling is wrong and it doesn’t work because I think it is unfair. You cannot search arabs because that is profiling. Anyone can be a terrorist. The Oklahoma city bombers were not in al qaeda . It is of course unlikely that the kid is a terrorist but you never know, a terrorist could have hid a bomb on the kid or the mother might be a terrorist and is hiding a gun on the kid. It is meant to keep us safe, you shouldn’t complain, they are doing their job. Some of us actually like to feel safe when flying.

    1. Troll or Sincerity?

      This is Henry Silva, tune in for the next episode of “Bullshit or Not!”

        1. Intelligent trolling is the best.

          (Or in this case, half-intelligent. But I still appreciated the post).

          1. Intelligent trolling is the best

            When in Rome

      1. I suspect that Sam is Sincere.

        There was about a 50:50 split in the security:liberty count when this was reported on CNN.com this morning. These people are quite sincere. Just like the abortion debate with one side talking about life and the other about freedom; because the two start with different first principles, they can never agree.

        I really don’t care if some rentacop wants to stare at my scrawny body or have a grope, but when I think of my little nieces being subjected to this, it’s just more than I can take.

        The republic we’re leaving the next generation is a pretty poor comedown from how we used to live.

        1. Let me guess. Since Team Blue is the administrator which enacts the shit that goes on, the majority of “We need security” is from Team Blue, the “We need liberty” from Team Red.

          Once Team Red takes over again, everyone will do an about face.

    2. I felt much safer when I did not have to worry about being harassed by TSA thugs.

    3. Sam Sez: “In case you didn’t know, 911 changed everything.”
      No Sam. The murderous attacks of Sep. 9, 2011 did not change “everything”.
      Amendment IV of the United States Constitution still reads: “The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.”
      Repeating, “The right of the people to be secure in their PERSONS,..against UNREASONABLE SEARCHES…shall NOT be VIOLATED…”
      What part of this do you not understand?

      1. What part of this do you not understand?

        The “Sep. 9, 2011” part?

        1. OOPS!! Sep 11, 2001. MY BAD!

          1. Shit, Bernie, you just gave the fuckin plan away! Nice going, sisterfucker!

            Well, back to the drawing board.

      2. “”What part of this do you not understand?””

        Who gets to define reasonable, and how they got the authority to do so.

    4. Sam: Then bin Laden has won.

    5. Juanita, is that you?

  20. It is meant to keep us safe, you shouldn’t complain, they are doing their job. Some of us actually like to feel safe when flying.


  21. Only the Feds could come up with an agency where your job requirement is to molest children. And if you do enough of them, you probably get a rise….. eh, er… raise.

  22. Sometimes mockery is the best response.


    Not Safe For Work! On the plus side, at least everyone involved is a consenting adult.

  23. When TSA goons meet someone new do they admit they work for the TSA? Do they even admit it to their families?

  24. I agree with some of the comments above. This woman was not very thorough. I think every passenger should be able to give every other passenger a full body search. Then we’d really be safe.

    1. I think you mean cavity search. Yep. You meant cavity search.

  25. “Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery?” Patrick Henry, 1775

  26. note to self – don’t fly ever again.

    I think I’ll just charter a flight or drive over to Canada to fly out.

    1. So you’re admitting your plans to evade airport security?

      Please step over here and remove your shoes. No sudden moves.

    2. Canada is no better. We have the same bullshit policies imposed on us because of the American “way of life”. Same rules about shoes, same rules about liquids gels and aerosols.


      1. But do I have the really tough choice of going through a naked scanner or being felt up by a TSA goon?

  27. Make sure to cut the head off the kid’s teddy bear and toss the stuffing on the ground.

    Only way to be sure.

  28. It is so infuriating that Congress is proposing a Privacy Rights law that will stop corporations from collecting data, but still allow this kind of activity.


  29. Teach your kids to bite, kick, scratch, and scream.

    Teach them well.

    Because if they are being violated so badly that they are kicking, scratching, biting, and screaming then obviously there is a need to intervene by kicking the Airport Security Screeners (ASS).

    Of course the downside is that I would not be surprised if a 6 year old who bit and kicked faced federal charges and federal jail time for assaulting a government official – that’s the TSA for you.

    1. I’m guessing that a 6-year-old who bit and kicked a TSA goon would be protected by the conclusive presumption under common law that a child under 7 years of age is incapable of forming mens rea.

      1. They would blame the parent, which is why I suggest you also kick bite and roundhouse kick them in the face.


  30. Yeah yeah this is horrible and disgusting.

    But in all honesty that little girl didn’t seem to give a shit.

    As she gets older i suspect she will be more upset by having a video of her spammed all over the internet.

    Just saying.

  31. Don’t put up with this unconstitutional garbage! It’s all worthless security theater that does nothing to keep you “safe”. Boycott Flying ENTIRELY until sanity returns! Please join us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/…..1010710392

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