Scrappy Undergdog Small-State Senator Announces Re-Election Bid for President!

Poor President Obama, only a couple of years in office and he has to start running for re-election already. While holding down a full-time job, as one of his supporters remind us in the video above, the official start of his 2012 campaign! How can the world be so cruel!

Ed from North Carolina, Gladys from Nevada, Mike from New York: They get it. The past couple of years have kind of sucked, so there's only one clear choice for president: The guy who's been in office for the past couple of years.

The only clearer sign of Obama's disappointment both to his supporters and the country at large than this video to kickoff his reelection campaign would be an announcement that intends not to run. Or maybe the slogan, "Guns AND Butter: Obama 2012!" "Because Bush Deserves a Fourth Term"? Supply your own re-election slogans in the comments below.

Comments

[sage]

Poor President Obama, only a couple of years in office and he has to start running for re-election already. While holding down a full-time job, as one of his supporters remind us in the video above

Fuck his supporters. I hope they stay home this next time around.

[Barack Obama.]

I'm sorry to hear you feel that way sage. But thanks to the power of facebook and the twitter and the tumblr, all of my supporters will be there. Including Mickey, Donald, Minnie, and Goofy as well. Hope and Change -- Let's do it again! 2012

[Vermont Gun Owner]

He could always just neglect his current job like he did when he ran for president the first time.

[Mikey]

We'd probably be better off.

[Sophia Smith]

Hi! We are students at Smith College in Massachusetts. We invite you to take a survey assessing attitudes about lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, and transgender people. The survey should take between 30-40 minutes to complete and is completely anonymous. To thank you for your participation, you will be entered into a raffle for a $50 gift card on Amazon.com. Thank you in advance for your participation! http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/JPSYTLF

[Sean]

Fuck the poor

[Philip Crawford]

30-40 minutes? You have heard of selection bias I hope. What use would any data have from such an outrageously long survey?

Smith college is ripping you off. Sorry.

Lemme do some math for you. Let's say I make $40/hour. 30 minutes = $20 of my time. What value would I put on the (likely) very small chance at a $50 Amazon card?

Answer: None

[Spencer]

you've got to design a survey that takes about 10 minutes to get mass response. otherwise you're only going to get those who have strong opinions about the issue- on way or another- to spend the time to respond. You're not going to get anyone who doesn't have an ax to grind.

[Old Easterner]

I thought the 'Q' was for Questioning. How is queer different from gay or lesbian?

Anyway, nobody cares about LGBQT people except LGBQT people. Why not survey something that more than 3% care about?

Just in case it is on the survey: There is no "right to marry". And, equal protection is provided by issuing a license for any individual who wishes to marry one of the opposite sex.

[CJ]

I was bored enough to click. Several things come to mind:

1) I had no idea queer stopped meaning homosexual. One Wikipedia check later, apparently I'm queer, but that term's so broad that it's meaningless. It's also amazing that people who use the word queer because heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and asexual can't cover it all still use a scale of liberal/Democrat to conservative/Republican. How are binary labels supposed to describe a person's politics when four labels can't even handle sexuality?

2) Strong agreement/disagreement buttons switch sides on the screen from page to page. This poll's results will be completely screwed up because of that.

3) They'll also be screwed up because of statements like these:

There are many radical, immoral people in our country today, who are trying to ruin it for their own Godless purposes, whom the authorities should put out of action.

Even "have you stopped beating your wife" isn't this loaded. I agree there are many 1) radical, 2) immoral people who 3) are trying to ruin the country 4) for Godless reasons, but I disagree that 5) authorities should put them out of action. So no matter what my response is, it would be misinterpreted.

I want to be constructive, though, so I'll say that the survey also had much better questions in a similar vein, such as "It's best to trust that government officials will do what's right for us" (or something like that, I didn't copy/paste that one directly). Stick to stuff like that.

This country would work a lot better if certain groups of troublemakers would just shut up and accept their group's traditional place in society.

What certain groups? What traditional place? How are they making trouble, exactly? In what sense would the country "work a lot better" without them? Economically? Morally? In terms of civility? Better in a utilitarian way? How can I seriously reply to this statement when I have to imagine all of its subjects out of thin air?

[bill.]

I feel the same way about "lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, and transgender people" as I do about all other people not covered by those labels.

And none of you/them are worth 30-40 minutes of my time.

[ClubMedSux]

I also feel the same way about "lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, and transgender people" as I do about all other people not covered by those labels. Well, except lipstick lesbians. I would say my feelings about them are quite distinct from my feelings towards the rest of the group quoted above.

[Spencer]

in your pants!

[Vermont Gun Owner]

My exception is transgender. I feel very confused by them, especially when people use pronouns to refer to them. I have no idea what anyone is actually talking about.

[AuthoritySux!]

I wanna play lacrosse!

[35N4P2BYY]

Obama 2012: "More charming than the other guy."

Or

"Don't be racist, vote Obama 2012."

Or

"Meh, what's the worst that could happen?"

[Barack Obama.]

Obama 2012: Don't wanna vote for me? That's cool. Hey, that's a nice small business you have there? Do you have a healthcare waiver? Taxes are a funny thing, aren't they? 2012

[Not an Economist]

But you guys without The One's glorious leadership, the country would be so much worse off. Think Somalia, only without the good parts. Those evil libertarians are the only the only thing keeping this country from being a true paradise.

[sasob]

In Somalia, towards the end, they started dismantling the country's infrastructure and selling it for scrap - even the power grid. Given the rate of copper thefts in this country we probably aren't far off.

[Steve]

Right, because last time he didn't have a job the entire time he was on the campaign trail...oh wait.

[Dave]

According to a realclearpolitics poll, 47.4% approve of his performance in his office.

Wow.

WTF does he have to do to lose approval??? Seriously??? Does he have to get on TV, tell all Americans to fuck off and then moon them???

Actually, he's basically already done that.

More proof that Americans are basically complete imbeciles.

[CatoTheElder]

When one considers that over one-half of the adults are dependent upon government in one way or another, it's really not surprising that about one-half of adults approve Obama.

Food-stamp recipients 40 million
Social Security recipients 60 million
Medicare recipients 45 million
Medicaid recipients 40 million
Unemployment recipients 10 million
Direct government employees - 22 million

Of course, there's a lot of overlap in the numbers above, but add in government contractors, NGOs, and other recipients of government largesse, and you've got a lot of people who have a strong interest in expanding the scope of the welfare/warfare state ... and no candidate is more promising toward that end than Barack Hussein Obama. Then add in yellow-dog Democrats, socialists, communists, and other intellectually challenged persons, and I'm pretty sure that the total is over 50% of the adult population. The only reason why approval ratings are lower than 50% is that he hasn't made good on utopia yet.

[Cyto]

Add to this the observation that under Bush the fraction of the population paying any income taxes at all dropped to approximately 1/2.

Obligatory apocryphal quote:

A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the majority discovers it can vote itself largess out of the public treasury. After that, the majority always votes for the candidate promising the most benefits

[Spencer]

I think raping a puppy could do it... unless it was sold as some type of carbon reducing initiative.

[Barack Obama.]

I could rape a puppy (without the carbon reducing initiative) and you people would still vote for me. *Wide toothy grin*

Let me be clear, the MSM will do all my dirty work for me. I'll just get them to say that President Obama woke up in the middle of the night and mistook the puppy for Michelle. Middle America will love that I care so much for my wife. The jackals on the Zoo morning shows will praise me for hooking up with my wife rather than an intern.

Obama 2012 -- Don't resist, you know you want it. Your check book says no, but your eyes say, 'don't be a racist.'

[ClubMedSux]

Look, asshole. He's our commander-in-chief. He was elected by the people. If he chooses to rape a puppy, I have FAITH that he did it for a REASON, and that our country is better off for it. And if you don't like it, then you can move to Iran.

[JoshINHB]

Beside,

General Petraeus says that a puppy raping by POTUS will protect the troops.

[Vermont Gun Owner]

He had to rape it to find out what was in it.

[Hobo Chang Ba]

Compared to the other half who will vote for whichever imbecile the GOP puts forward (which I'm assuming will likely not be smart guys like Johnson, Paul, Daniels or Christie), I'm starting to think it's hard to blame them. Hmm...Michelle Bachman or Obama? Santorum or Obama? Huckabee or Obama? I dread any of the above as much or more and SoCons/populist morons make him look reasoned by comparison. The GOP are for no good reason catering to the lowest common denominator, while the Democrats are stroking the paternalistic egos of technocrats.

[Kate]

I think a lot of people (especially White Democrats) might tell a pollster that they approve of Obama's performance because they don't want to be thought of as a racist.

[Trespassers W]

"I'm a big ol' douchebag. PS This is Obama talking now."

[Trespassers W]

Nick, I believe it's spelled "underzog".

[TheSporadical]

"Barack Obama for President:
Building Bridges Between the Stars
In no way is he stupid.
In no way is his brain impaired.
It's just not true!
He's smarter than you
And he's better looking, too"

or maybe just:

"Barack Obama:
Stuff, People, and Freedom"

[Your Majesty]

Obama is going to pay for my gas and mortgage!

[TheSporadical]

Although I am quite fond of my own campaign slogan...

[Rewrite]

"Mama Obama: He knows whats best for you"

[Spencer]

Mamma Obama rolled out of bed and ran to the police station.

[JBold1]

"George is my co-pilot" Obama 2012

[Draco]

Obama... Because people who earn more than you, and have better benefits, pensions and job security than you, need friends in high places. Obama - the working man's* friend.

*(rapid voiceover) "working men" limited to unionized public sector workers.

[plisade]

Perfect!

[PS]

"Obama 2012: The only candidate legally licensed to violate the Constitution"

[J.E.C.]

Obama 2012: Because he hasn't managed to break all his promises yet.

[CoyoteBlue]

Death to the Kulaks! Crush the Hoarders and Wreckers!
http://gardenserf.files.wordpr.....begins.jpg

[WTF]

Obama 2012: How much worse could it get?

[Spoonman.]

Obama has managed to even piss off my Ed Schultz-watching father-in-law. I don't know who he thinks will put in any effort for him this time, even if lifetime Democrats still vote for him.

[Andrew D]

Obama 2012 - Selectively spreading the wealth around

[Tolly]

"OBAMA: He wasn't BUSHITLER then; he's not BUSHITLER NOW."

Who are we kidding? The same milquetoast liberals who voted him in - the ones giving us 'Chicken Soup for the Political Soul' in this campaign dreck, are the same ones who are gonna vote for him no matter what come November. They're just as mindless as the GOPers who pushed Bush back in when he was the CIC who violated everything the party supposedly stood for.

And really, show of hands from anyone who thinks the GOP is gonna have a strong candidate... I mean for chrissakes, Rick 'Frothy Mix' Santorum? Newt Gingrich??? It's like that Onion article where Zombie Ronald Reagan wins the party nomination...probably on the "Braaaains" platform.

[Cyto]

This is an excellent point. The current GOP field is dreadful. The only candidate with decent ideas is Ron Paul, and he's as unelectable as Huckabee. His son is doing a good job of venting my frustrations for me, but he's not going to run and probably isn't ready anyway. Christie might have been decent, but he's not running. And chubby guys don't get elected any more.

Nope, I don't see anyone capable of beating Obama. Heck, Kerry was a better candidate than any of these jokers and he couldn't beat a dreadful Bush that the country was already having serious doubts about.

[Hobo Chang Ba]

Uh, what's wrong with Gary Johnson? Mitch Daniels ain't bad either.

[CatoTheElder]

I just hope the 2012 campaign ads are this pathetic.

[Tom S]

Obama 2012 - Because most people still don't know what 'Astroturf' means.

[Spencer]

"Obama 2012- He'll say anything to get elected. Don't you want someone who wants the power so bad he's willing to say whatever it takes to get it?"

[Daniel 9:27]

Obama: Nation of Desolation

[JoJo Zeke]

Obama/Biden 2012: "Keep Swallowing."

[Mr. Soul]

Obama 2012: I put the C-I-A in Socialism!

[P Brooks]

More proof that Americans are basically complete imbeciles.

I blame

-wait for it-

our government-run system of public education indoctrination.

Surprise!

[P Brooks]

Moar HOPE, plz!

[Dongo Monog]

lol, pretty funny when you really think about it.

http://www.anon-tools.no.tc

[Tolly]

OBAMA 2012 - This time I really, really, really plan on changing things.

[JoJo Zeke]

Obama 2012: "I'll Call You. Promise."

[Predicador]

Obama 2012 - Plus ?a change, plus tu peut le croire. (The more it changes, the more you can believe it.)

(note: 'tu peut' is singular, plural would be 'vous pouvez')

[JoJo Zeke]

Obama 2012: "Because the Thought of Joe Biden Being a Heartbeat Away from the Oval Office is SOOOOOOO Reassuring."

[Apple]

Obama 2012 - "Come on, it's just four more years. If you're still not satisfied in 2015, I won't run again in 2016. Deal?"

[TheSporadical]

Official...

Maybe you should stay with Obama
He could do your laundry 'n' cook for you
Maybe you should stay with Obama
You're really kinda stupid 'n' ugly too"

[Yo Mama]

You should never smoke in pajamas
You could start a fire and burn your face
Maybe you could move to Managua
You could go unnoticed in such a place

[Vergilius]

Obama 2012: "Hope Harder"

[JoJo Zeke]

Obama 2012: "God DAMN America."

[Cc]

Obama 2012: Because the Presidency is like Groundhog day: you need to keep trying until you get it right.

[creech]

"Obama 2012: In Your Heart you know he's Wrong."

[Tolly]

Obama 2012: Gawrsh - Being President is Tough!

Obama 2012: My Evil Doppleganger Has Been Captured!

Obama 2012: Wait, You Guys Really Bought All That 'Hope' Stuff? Hah!

[JoJo Zeke]

Obama/Biden 2012: "A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of SEIU."

[me]

Wow, that was nauseating. What a bunch of imbeciles.

[.]

Obama 2012 - CASH FOR CLUNKERS II.

[JoJo Zeke]

Obama 2012: "A Religion of Peace."

[Michael]

I can't say I was swayed by the earnest lesbian, the ambiguously ethnic types or the earnest old white guy that doesn't agree with Obama but is voting for him anyway for some reason, but then came the New York hipsters getting ready to do some bumps off of a record on the coffee table in their Williamsburg apartment. Goddammit, where do I sign up for this shit?

[Mark]

Obama 2012: Still Better Than Bush!

Obama 2012: Because I Still Haven't Closed Gitmo!

Obama 2012: Healthcare! Hey, Who Loves You Baby?!

Obama 2012: Nobel Schnobel, Who Needs Peace?

Obama 2012: Hey! I Still Look Young!

[dan]

"Politics is how we govern ourselves. That's what politics is."

Words of wisdom

[LarryA]

Obama 2012: Part Deux!

[Vermont Gun Owner]

Obama 2012: This time, it's personal

Obama 2012: No more change!

[TheSporadical]

Obama 2012:

"If you believe, clap your hands; don't let Hope die!"

[JoJo Zeke]

Obama 2012: "Because It's Different When I Bomb and Kill Brown People."

[Walter]

"OBAMA 2012: Next verse, same as the first!"

"OBAMA 2012: Our time is now!"

"OBAMA 2012: Momentum."

"OBAMA 2012: We simply can't afford transition costs."

"OBAMA 2012: Because firing anyone during a recession is cruel."

[JoJo Zeke]

Obama 2012: "Chavez 2.0"

[jcrue]

Obama 2012: Please don't fire me from my first real job before I learn how to do it.

[Jim Treacher]

Obama 2012: You're Pretty Much Stuck with Me, Rubes

[JoJo Zeke]

Obama 2012: "He's Black, You Know."

[David Lowenthal]

"Obama '12: Making the dollar as worthless as my policies since 2009."

or

"Obama '12: 4-MORE-BAILOUTS!"

[Cthulhu]

Every election, I run for President. My campaign slogan is "It's time to stop voting for the lesser of evils." For 2012, I can no longer use that slogan.

[Obama 2012]

Don't let me get tea-bagged.

[Mark]

Obama 2012: Four more years of unemployment benefits!

[Martin]

Yes we can fuck it up even more.

[altctrlsleep]

Why does Ed from North Carolina remind me of Hansel in Zoolander talking about Sting?

"The music he's made over the years I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that"

[spaceagedevice]

2012: "MMM MMM MMM, Barack's the same Obama"

[david axelrod]

The Audacity of Hopeless

[NotLinky]

Obama 2012: Because tyranny is cool.

[Jay]

Bachmann 2012: Because bat-shit crazy is worth a try

[Jay]

Newt 2012: Because adultery against cancer stricken wife is always forgiveable in pursuit of
political gain