Reason Morning Links: Public Union-Busting Bill in Ohio, New Charges for Manning, Obama Meets With Calderon

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  1. Study: Earth could be on the verge of another mass extinction.

    Small mammals FTW!

    1. I welcome our new rodent overlords

      1. We will kill you last, human!

        1. “This is the best ratburger I’ve ever had!”

          1. fucking seashells, how do they work???

          2. You will punished for your crimes, John Spartan. You will be forced to eat Taco Bell for every meal until you die. You will not last more than 6 of your human days, we suspect.

            QUAD-STEAK BURRITO HIM!

            1. John Spartan? Hello – time to die!

            2. No, he’ll make it at least a month…

            3. ..Herbert Camacho:

              I say pardon him.

    2. Progressives: “Not yet. But we’re still working on the criminalization of life.”

    3. Study: Earth could be on the verge of another mass extinction.

      Translation.

      We need a new scare to get people to surrender their freedom now that AGW is totally discredited.

      1. I’ve heard that dihydrogen monoxide is a deadly menace, maybe that could scare up some funding?

        1. I lost a friend to dihydrogen monoxide inhalation. Its no joke!

      2. How in the name of all that is holy did a paper with such specious conclusions, and reasoning a sophomore zoology student would laugh at, get published in Nature?! For cryin out loud, one reason we’ve discovered that so many species have recently gone extinct is that we’ve discovered so many more new species in the last 30 years than ever before. Mankind does alter the environment, with often poor results for biodiversity, see Amazonia. But to jump from there to suggest that we are on the precipice of a megaextinction like the end of the Devonian is so breathtakingly arrogant that I don’t know what to say, except that I now get to add Nature to my shitcan list.

        Discover magazine from 15 years ago would have been embarrassed to publish an article like this one. And Nature is supposed to be a leading generalist journal?

        1. After AGW the yeti, bigfoot, nessy, sasquatch, and swamp monster all look scientifically valid and this is far from those assertions.

        2. Nature has been in the tank with this bullshit for years.

    4. Small mammals FTW!

      Was there ever any doubt I’d prevail?

    1. How could this be? How could the dollar’s longtime most-favored-currency status be in jeopardy?

      Beats the shit out of me!

    2. But the dollar is worth a dollar’s worth of something! How could this possibly change?

      1. Right on!!

        1. Ben, I’m a little short at the moment…

          1. Tim, you’ll just have to wait for our evening tryst!

      2. According to Ben it’s worth gasoline and twinkies, but the model he uses to calculate inflation doesn’t agree with that.

        Ben is conflicted and mysterious. I bet he sparkles in the sunlight.

    3. I’d buy that for a dollar!

    4. There’s so much wrong with that article it’s astounding. There’s no way anyone will use the yuan as a reserve currency if it isn’t floating freely. As for the euro, we’re just coming off a crisis of confidence in the euro where people were seriously wondering if there would be a collapse in the monetary union and states would start peeling off right and left. Yet neither of these two issues are mentioned. Also, while the US has a deficit and debt to GDP issue, the following countries in the Euro Zone are worse (France, Germany, Ireland, Greece, Spain, Portugal, Netherlands, Italy, Austria, etc.) If creditworthiness makes the dollar questionable as a reserve currency, the euro itself has a bigger problem to deal. Will more countries do trade in yuan as China’s economy grows? Yes. Will a South Korean company and an Australian company do a transaction in yuans rather than dollars? NFW.

      1. What’s being talked about, seriously, isn’t converting from the dollar to the yuan or the euro. What’s being talked about is converting to a basket of currencies. That’s been tried before, and didn’t work too well. There is also talk of including commodities in the basket (namely, gold, although I think I’ve heard silver and even oil as well).

        When (not if) the dollar collapses, it will no longer be a viable reserve currency. Exactly what will replace it, nobody can say. Yet.

        1. Insects.

          1. Thanks to being brainwashed by cartoons, I would’ve guessed cheese.

            1. There’s a whole moon full of it! We’ll be rich, rich I tells ya!

        2. The commodities inclusion cracks me up. Silver is manipulated like a 12 year old catholic choirboy by a priest.

          1. While I agree that the Paper Silver market is fast and loose I would argue audited stores would make a fine inclusion into a basket…good luck with those audits.

            1. 1) Fuckin’ Clich?, how does it work?
              2) Audit…next up, unicorn turd currency.
              3) Even if audited the manipulation of commodities price will still occur unless you plan on taking a huge percentage of silver off the market.

        3. If oil is in the basket of currencies, the government will drill baby drill.

          State control of oil resources has worked so well every place else it’s been tried…

      2. I think all of these articles suffer from the same problem. None of the really smart economic people can, plainly, state what is keeping the dollar as the de facto reserve currency: every other currency is worse.

        It’s like democracy being the worst form of government, except for all the others tried.

        1. Exactly right. Of course, we are well on the way to the dollar no longer being the least bad currency.

          The best case outcome is a controlled decline to, at a guess, half of what its worth now. Controlled declines have a way of getting uncontrolled, though, because markets don’t like being manipulated, and the collective power of all market participants eventually overwhelms the power of whoever is doing the manipulating.

          1. So, my plan to use ammo as my reserve currency is still a good one?

            1. Somewhere there has to be a gun that shoots nickels.

      3. Mo beat me to it. Also, he said it better than I would have.

        However, they may switch to a more stable currency, such as the Canadian dollar.

        1. One of the things that has been pushing the Loonie up has been the relatively lower deficit and debt in Canada. {Note: Relatively – the deficit is still too high @ 3% of GDP when growth is around 2%.)

          However, the Canadian economy is too small to support a reserve currency. Also the fact that the Loonie is so high is producing a huge balance of payments deficit, which will bring it back down in the long run.

          1. Isn’t the loonie a coin? And aren’t they having trouble securing enough metal to make em?

            1. When they converted to coins only instead of dollar bills, the coin had a loon on it, so they were dubbed ‘loonies’. Over time, the name has come to be applied to the currency itself, partly out of Canadian humor and partly because it’s faster to say than “the Canadian dollar” if it is necessary to specify what currency you are are speaking about.

  2. My heart goes out to the children in Ohio. This will surely mean mass starvation and many other privations.

    1. We’ll pave the private roads with their bones.

      1. Look, if you know of a more durable pavement than childbone, I’d like to hear about it.

        1. Were it possible to pave roads with Tony’s idiocy…

          1. Not a good material in terms of “workability”. It hardens too quickly.

            1. I’ve always found Tony’s idiocy contains its own retardant.

    2. My heart goes out to the children in Ohio.

      I posited that the WI teachers were literally taking food out of children’s mouths by striking. All those children who get school breakfast and lunches. Why do those teachers hate those children so?

      1. If you had to spend all day riding herd on the little barbarians, you’d hate them too.

    3. Poly, they’re already littering the landscape. My drive in to work from the lovely Cleveland suburb of Avon this morning was enhanced by the presence of hundreds – perhaps thousands – of poor, malnourished miscreants on I90, feral children ripped from their families and left to fend for themselves.

      I’d have run into more of them, but my Mustang is brand new, and I don’t want to ding up the paint just yet.

      So – ride to work – more delightful already due to the hordes of vagabond tots let loose into a cruel world. Thanks, Ohio Legislature!

      1. shine your shoes, guv’na?

  3. Geeks invade Mardi Gras!

    “With its slogan ? “Saving the galaxy one drunken nerd at a time” ? the Intergalactic Krewe of Chewbacchus looks to spike the annual New Orleans boozefest with a geeky shot of Comic-Con International.”

    1. How can anyone tell the difference between geeks and anyone else after 42 metric shit-tons of booze?

      1. The geeks will still blush when they see boobs?

  4. Obama to scold Mexican President Calderon over drug war violence, then promise $1.4 billion more in aid to perpetuate it.

    If only Calderon was ordering his own people shot, maybe our president would soften his tone.

    1. Hey, if Eric Holder is for it, I’m down.

  5. Obama Meets With Calderon

    Don’t tell Tubbs.

    1. Nice 80’s reset!

  6. “Walk outside, look around and imagine three-fourths of all the different kinds of life you see gone,” says Anthony Barnosky, a paleobiologist at Berkeley and lead author on the paper. “Ask yourself if you’d be happy living in that world.”

    Probably, if I could choose the three-fourths.

    1. Starting with Berkleyites.

      1. Starting with Berkleyites.

        We’ll need to nuke them from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

        1. Do Berkleyites mostly come out at night? Mostly?

        2. >>Starting with Berkleyites.
          DNS>We’ll need to nuke them from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

          Sorry, dude, but I’m quite sure that Berkeley is one of those dipshit cities that declared itself a nuclear-free zone once upon a time. So, you’ll have to re-think your plan, I’m afraid.

          1. Neutron bombs? Then the buildings would still be left for normal people to inhabit after Teh Holocauzt.

            1. So, you’ll have to re-think your plan, I’m afraid.

              I have something more devious in mind: Round up the real life members of the Peacock Family, aka, the Westboro Baptist Church and drop them in Berkeley proper. Mutants, especially consanguineal, breed faster than rabbits.

              1. >>So, you’ll have to re-think your plan, I’m afraid.
                DNS>I have something more devious in mind: Round up the real life members of the Peacock Family, aka, the Westboro Baptist Church and drop them in Berkeley proper. Mutants, especially consanguineal, breed faster than rabbits.

                Now you’re using your head! Beserkeley is also of course one of those dipshit “sanctuary cities” for illegal immigrants. Your plan is perfect – these deadly interlopers would be welcomed with open arms by their very targets.

            2. Neutrons still involve a nuclear reaction.

              Now, if the idea was to use highenergy photons, and the initial proposal was gamma rays, you could switch to xrays and bypass the Nuke-Free regs.

              Substituting a different sort of nuclear weapon won’t work though.

              1. BLAST! Foiled again…

                1. NuclearFree BLAST! Tin-Foiled again…

                  FTFM

                2. WAIT A MINUTE – WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THIS SOONER!

                  We can unleash the NEWCULAR TITTIES on Berkeley! Yeah?! Not really nuclear, just NEWCULAR! PERFECT!

                  1. Eeee-xcellent.

                    *finger templing*

              2. Rail guns. Fully automatic.

                1. Rail guns. Fully automatic.

                  How do you recharge the caps that fast? Without exploding them I mean.

                  Gatling railgun maybe, with each barrel having it’s own bank of caps. Powered by the entire output of every powerplant west of the Rockies.

                  1. Rail guns…AND Newcular Titties. Nothing can resist.

          2. So Berkeley doesn’t have any X-ray machines or other radiotherapy devices? Oh, that’s right–they’re only “icky-nuclear free”.

            1. Just like MRI dropped the “Nuclear” from its name when it went mainstream.

              1. It’s really the KFC of radiology.

  7. Ohio Senate passes bill restricting collective bargaining rights of public sector unions.

    “Collective bargaining rights” is a nonsensical phrase. I guess “Bribery-driven extortion privileges” would be a little too on the nose for most people to accept, though.

    1. Indeed, you cannot call it a “right” when in fact it takes away the employer’s right to freely associate with whomever he or she wants. “Collective bargaining rights” is nothing more than yet another “right” by government fiat, like IP or welfare.

      1. private sector “collective bargaining rights” are that, and dont take anything away from the employer when done correctly.

        Or course, its more of a “right to attempt to collectively bargain” in that scenario. Just like freedom of speech doesnt require anyone else to listen.

        1. When do I get the chance to vote for a OM/Robc presidential race?

          1. Better make it before 2050.

            And that’s “Berkeleyite,” not “Berkleyite.”

          2. Ive been eligible last 2 elections. Not sure why the electoral collegians didnt throw any votes my way.

          3. Gonna have to see OM’s birth certificate…

            1. Fucking birthers, they never give up.

            2. RACIST!!!!11!

            3. Look more closely.

              Kenya see it now?

              1. That gives me a great idea for a team red presidential campaign commmercial:

                Fake Verizon guy walking around, says: Kenya hear me now?

                Cut to Obama, nodding while on his famous Blackberry.

                Cut back to fake Verizon guy: Good.

                Cut to Mike Huckleberry: I’m Mike Huckabee, and I approve this ad.

                1. So that’s when someone comes in and clubs Huckabee with a 5 iron, right?

                  1. Stop reading my campaign-ad scripts, Ska.

          4. When do I get the chance to vote for a OM/Robc presidential race?

            Isn’t robc’s main campaign promise that he will say “fuck of slaver” in a nationally televised debate? OM has his work cut out for him.

        2. Agreed,robc. I have a right to bargain individually for my services, therefore I can ask another worker if he would like to bargain together. Or ask a hundred others. And my boss can say yes to say there’s the door. Maybe if a hundred of us agreed to bargain collectively, the boss would actually like doing one salary review instead of one hundred, but that’s his choice.

          1. I have a right to bargain individually for my services

            In the same way as collectively, you have the right to attempt to bargain individually for your services. If your employer ONLY wants to bargain collectively, he can. Which is why right to work laws are wrong.

            1. Please explain.

              If the employer only wants to bargain collectively, can’t he just tell the individual that? Or do the right to work laws actually prevent the employer from telling individuals he wants a closed shop only?

              1. Depends on where you are. Some places prevent the employees from voting a closed shop, but most expressly prohibit a closed shop. However, I don’t see how they could prevent an employer from saying the only credential he trusted for, say, machinists was a union card. I guess eventually a qualified individual could bring a civil rights suit under most state laws.

                1. I don’t see how they could prevent an employer from saying the only credential he trusted for, say, machinists was a union card.

                  Sure. But once hired, he could then quit the union. I think the owner would have a hard time in court arguing that he suddenly became less skilled.

              2. Right to work laws prevent a closed shop.

                1. Damn you fake name!!!

      2. its called the wagner act plus a ton of precedent. and the employeer retains the right of association by hiring those the employeer prefers.

        1. Hello, piss facktery! Glad to see you’re still an idiot! Keep up the good work!

          1. hi urine meet depends. its like abercrombie for you.

            1. Hello again, piss facketery! You first!

            2. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I took a shit in Ohio once.

              1. Sandi|3.3.11 @ 10:20AM|#
                At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I took a shit in Ohio once.

                And now it posts here.

        2. employeer

          It’s akin to “buccaneer”, which is derived from the French “boucanier”, roughly translated as “someone who smokes meat”.

          1. “someone who smokes meat”

            AKA a “cocksmoker”? Yeah, Orrrrrin’s probably a cocksmoker, too.

          2. “buccaneer”

            A terrible price to pay for corn.

            1. I beg to differ.

              1. I also beg to differ.

        3. Re: OhioOrrin,

          its called the wagner act plus a ton of precedent.

          Or, “Fornication by Consent of the King”

          Just because government said so, it doesn’t make it so.

          and the employeer[sic] retains[sic] the right of association by hiring those the employeer[sic] prefers.

          Not under the Wagner act.

          1. I thought that was “Fornication Under the Consent of the King.”

            1. It’s all just fbcotking to me.

    2. I was wondering myself where the Orwellian term “collective bargaining” came from. I guess saying that you have the right to be taxed by a union just wasn’t catchy enough.

  8. Army files 22 new charges against Bradley Manning, including “aiding the enemy,” which is punishable by death.

    Army folks are nothing else if not inventive.

  9. Wisconsin Republicans fine missing Democrats $100 a day

    “Now we’re merely haggling over the price.”

  10. If enacted, Ohio would become the biggest U.S. state so far to impose sweeping restrictions on public sector unions.

    Except those states that have been that way forever.

  11. Study: Earth could be on the verge of another mass extinction.

    Read the report – it construes the current rate of ‘extinctions’ (which actually means ‘we can’t find them with the resources we have’) as the preamble to a “mass extinction” event. Can anybody spell ‘dishonesty’?

    1. Can anybody spell ‘dishonesty’?

      It’s easy! Here’s how I remember.

      D.I.S.H.
      O.N.E.
      S.T.Y.

      Sea?

    2. We’ll be able to clone the other species and bring them back if they’re really needed anyhow.

      1. I for one welcome our eventual cloned Blue Tuna overlords.

        1. Me too!

        2. Damn- I was hoping for tilapia.

          1. Tilapia lack the strength of character required to conquer the globe.

            1. Lake Perch will reign supreme.

              1. However, the meek plecostomus shall inherit the Earth.

                1. So long. Thanks for all the fish.

              2. No dude, the Mackinaw trout always reigns supreme

        3. Osetia you heathens…I married a Russian and that shit is priicey.

    3. Fancy that. There was a story yesterday about how the Forest Service declared the Eastern Cougar to the extinct.

      Very, very sad. No more courgars. Like two paragraphs later the writer mentioned it took so long to declare the Eastern Courgar extinct because so many other breeds of cougar had entered the area and they were hard to tell apart.

      No lack of big cats in the area, just of one specific breed which is being replaced by other breeds.

    4. Does it have any estimate as to the rate of creation of new species?

      1. I’m pretty sure the environmentalists are in agreement with the creationists that this doesn’t happen because it would ruin their argument.

  12. At a news conference in Columbus with Ohio Democrats, representatives of fire and police unions complained the Ohio bill would take away their ability to bargain for safety equipment, such as bullet-proof vests.

    “This bill provides for our safety to be contracted out to the lowest bidder,” said Jay McDonald of the Ohio Fraternal Order of Police.

    My heart is really breaking right now. Bleeding like a stuck pig, in fact.

    1. I’m sure they’ll just do more asset forfeiture to bankroll their toys safety equipment

    2. I can see having permanent seats for fireman- or policeman- elected representatives on whatever group is responsible for safety equipment acquisitions.

      It’s not terribly far-fetched that the process would otherwise be used for cronyism, even with open bidding, at the expense of people’s lives. If they’ll do it with soldiers, they’ll do it with cops or firefighters too.

      Hell, I don’t mind just giving them a fixed safety budget and let their representatives figure out the most important priorities for using it, so long as they don’t get to haggle on the size.

  13. Obama to scold Mexican President Calderon over drug war violence, then promise $1.4 billion more in aid to perpetuate it.

    It’s actually an S&M thing between those two rascals…

    1. (Masochist to Sadist): Beat me! Beat me!

      (Sadist to Masochist): Nooooo.

  14. “aiding the enemy”

    What enemy? Who did he help?

    1. We’d tell you, but that is classified and divulging/hearing/guessing it is punishable by death

  15. I don’t know if this catched your attention:

    Low-flow toilets cause a stink in SF

    http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/……DTL&tsp=1

    Commentary from LewRockwell.com:

    Writes Jim Brownfield:

    [I]t says San Francisco is having problems with their sewer systems because of low-flow toilets that don’t provide enough water to clear out sewage from the system. According to the article, “The city has already spent $100 million over the past five years to upgrade its sewer system and sewage plants, in part to combat the odor problem.” They may start pumping 8.5 million pounds of bleach into the sewer system to combat the problem.

    The “upside” of low-flow toilets? According to the article: “Well, according to [Tyrone] Jue [,spokesman for the city Public Utilities Commission], they have helped trim San Francisco’s annual water consumption by about 20 million gallons.

    According to this website [ http://www.thehdmt.org/indicators/view/3 ], the Gross Annual Water Sales for San Francisco in 2007/2008 was 34,137,635 ccf. One ccf is 100 cubic feet which is approximately 748 gallons/ccf.

    That means the gross annual water sales for San Francisco is approximately 25,534,950,980 gallons per year.

    San Francisco saves 20,000,000 gallons/year from low-flow toilets.

    (20,000,000 (gal/yr) / 25,534,950,980 (gal/yr) ) * 100% = .08%

    So, San Francisco reduces water consumption by 8 HUNDREDTHS OF ONE PERCENT at the expense of hundreds of millions of dollars to the sewer system alone (not counting the cost to consumers of the low-flow toilets and associated plumbing problems), and they are now likely to add millions of pounds of the environmentally hazardous and corrosive bleach to their sewers.

    This seems wacko even by government standards.

    Ahhh, the ‘great feeling’ of doing something to ‘save the planet’!

    1. This was discussed as a potential, nay, certain, problem among wastewater treatment engineers when low flow toilets were first being required. This was predicted by experts and dismissed by politicians.

    2. Ohio Senate passes bill restricting collective bargaining rights

      While Wisconsin has gained more national attention, Ohio is far more important to the union movement. It has the sixth largest number of public sector union members.

      Pay no attention to that state behind Indiana.

    3. Writes Jim Brownfield: “…toilets that don’t provide enough water to clear out sewage from the system.”

      “Brownfield”, eh?

      1. IN OTHER NEWS:

        San Francisco Brown Trout added to Critically Endangered Species List; Extinction Imminent.

        1. Quit making fun of my name!

    4. Big deal. Anyone who has ever dared stroll amongst the bums, hypes and winos on City Hall Plaza or Market Street knows that San Francisco already smells like a toilet.

    5. If SanFrannies hate going to the bathroom so much, we don’t they stop? The whole place can do the pee-pee dance under their bladders burst. Call it a flash-mob.

      1. I heard that the only reason people have to urinate in the 1st place is because the Koch brothers pay-off CocaCola Inc.

        1. Urination is a capitalist plot, sure, but what most people refuse to accept is that defecation is just a by-product of the patriarchy’s obsession with anal sex. Anal sex robs wymmin of their reproductive role and, therefore their main system of economic support. And anal sex makes you have to shit uncontrollably. See! See the violence inherent in the system?

          1. Urination is a capitalist plot, sure, but what most people refuse to accept is that defecation is just a by-product of the patriarchy’s obsession with anal sex.

            I blame the Greeks and their new fangled notion of democracy.

            1. I blame the Greeks and their new fangled notion of democracy.

              You poor deluded person. Everyone knows it was witches what done the evil.

      2. Q: What is “urination”?

        A: What Israel was told in 1948.

    6. When I’m San Fran in a few weeks, I’ll consider it my civic duty to flush every toilet that I see, at least twice.

      1. Make sure they’re stopped up first.

        It saves or creates jobs.

    7. I understand that Sandi took a shit in SF once.

      Probably “forgot” to flush…

    8. no surprise ol mex is fullof shit.

      1. No surprise, OhioOrrin is incapable of writing complete sentences.

        1. or of even separating strings of alpha-characters into meaningful words…

      2. Hello again, piss facktery! Way to try to take on your betters! I’d admire your spunk, if you weren’t such a dumbass!

    1. Dammit, posted before I checked the link.

      1. You know what, Mr. Free…aw forget it. Too. Damn. Easy.

        1. Post a few bad links and they hound you to hell. They demand perfection in their free entertainment.

          1. On the other hand, your name will go down in history. There is that…

            1. I would have rather burned down Troy.

              1. Troy, Michigan still stands – go for it!

                1. I just thought of the title for a new CBS sitcom.

                  1. I gots to know …

                    Could it be “Ribbing the Trojans”?

                  2. A perky young working-class girl, working as a waitress in a Greek restaurant in a failing Midwestern town, is beset by suitors, including the owner of the Turkish place down the street.

                    1. Her name is obvious, of course.

                    2. Obvious doesn’t sound very feminine. What about Helen?

                    3. Did Helen go down in history?

                    4. >>”Did Helen go down in history?”

                      Oh man, did she ever!

                    5. Surely an improvement!
                      And don’t call me Shirley.

                    6. “Smellin’ Of Troy”

                    7. Misogyny is everywhere; it just looks different depending on where you’re standing.

                      So is stupidity.

      2. “BinxTheCat 08:45 AM

        I’m going to show my sexual naivety here – why the hell are [some] men obsessed with anal?

        Cimorene promoted this comment

        Cimorene 10:23 AM

        It’s become a sign of dominance. Most women don’t want anal, but if you can convince a girl to let you fuck her in the ass then it means she’s been subordinated to your desires. Or so the logic goes.

        I’m sure that the whole “tighter whole” thing is why most men say they want anal sex. But it’s not really about that, on the whole. It’s about domination.

        NB: I’m not talking about individuals who enjoy anal sex; obviously plenty of women enjoy it and plenty of (hetero) men like to engage it in (with women–presumably the reasons for homosexual anal sex are obvious) for the benefit of their partner and their own pleasure. But that’s not really what the culture of anal-sex-obsession is about. Anal sex as an act is distinct from anal sex as a cultural obsession. One is about sex, presumably; the other is about the subordination of women.

        See 1 reply Hide 1 reply”

        1. NB: I’m not talking about individuals who enjoy anal sex; obviously plenty of women enjoy it and plenty of (hetero) men like to engage it in (with women–presumably the reasons for homosexual anal sex are obvious) for the benefit of their partner and their own pleasure. But that’s not really what the culture of anal-sex-obsession is about. Anal sex as an act is distinct from anal sex as a cultural obsession. One is about sex, presumably; the other is about the subordination of women.

          Shorter NB: It’s not anal sex-anal sex. Unless it’s anal sex.

        2. “It’s become a sign of dominance.”

          This is corroborated by the rules of NCAA wrestling. The way one wins a match is by forcing one’s opponent to get down on all fours while one presses one’s groin to the opponent’s backside.

          No wait, that’s how the matches begin.

    2. “He assaulted me with his mind!”

      or

      “Brain and brain! What is brain!?”

      1. “He assaulted me with his mind!”

        Easily countered by blinding the assailant with science. Damn noobs.

  16. Sounds like Gaddaffi is pretty fucked if he can’t beat a bunch of angry teenagers in a battle anymore.

    1. Gaddaffi Duck: “And I’d have hung onto my dictatoriship, too….if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids!

      1. I blame Hanna-Barbera for the turmoil in the Middle East.

        P.S.

        Almanian, Gaddaffi Duck would say, “Of course you realize this means war!”

        1. ….and then lisp and spit a lot. Yeah, you’re right.

          1. Funny. That’s exactly what I saw in the video of Guh-Daffy’s speech.

  17. Study: Earth could be on the verge of another mass extinction.

    If you assume that the respective species’ troubles today are independent events — which they are surely not as they are correlated by being those species that mankind’s expansion has troubled.

    In other words, every species has a probability that man will wipe it out. Surely the ones we see today are those with the highest probabilities. Extrapolating from today’s numbers is simply painting those selected high probabilities onto all species — explicitly contradicting the obvious reasons today’s species are going extinct and the other species aren’t.

    This “study” sounds like a high school math exercise gone awry.

    1. This “study” sounds like a high school math exercise gone awry.

      The “study” suffers from extreme fauna bias: it assumes that modern humans are an aberration of the ecosystem, instead of regarded as part of the ecosystem and considered a successful, thriving species. The academics love the whole Darwin “survival of the fittest” meme, except when humans are involved.

      1. The academics love the whole Darwin “survival of the fittest” meme, except when humans are involved.

        That’s because whatever humans do is not “natural”.

    2. I imagine they mentioned AGW to try and get around this criticism. You know, throw a couple unrelated ideas on the table and then link them by proximity.

    3. Hey, I’m always impressed and very concerned when someone makes predictions about half a millenia into the future. They must know what they’re doing after all.

      1. Go rent Idiocracy.

  18. Apropos of nothing, the great Leonard Pitts Jr. will be laying his wisdom upon those of us who toil in my midsize Midwestern temple of information today. I’m still trying to decide whether or not to attend.

    1. Haven’t read Leonard for a couple of years (since I cancelled the local paper), but I always enjoyed his work.

      1. At times he seems reasonable, which is a lot to say about a nationally syndicated columnist these days.

  19. I’m still trying to decide whether or not to attend.

    If you don’t show, you’ll be reported to the SPLC for your racist ratbaggery.

    1. Oh, I’m sure the SPLC put me on a list a looooong time ago.

    2. No, conservative blacks don’t count as real blacks.

  20. “He assaulted me with his mind!”

    Ummm, what?

    1. Images of using a brain as a cudgel floating through my head.

  21. Yesterday, I was talking to a couple of acquaintances, down at Ye Olde Purveyore of Refreshmente; the topic of global unrest came up, and at some point in the discussion, I made a disparaging comment regarding the job performed by our current Secy of State.

    After a brief interlude of spluttering and harrumphing “But- but- It’s Hillary! And she’s the Secretary of State! That’s like NEXT IN LINE FOR THE PRESIDENCY! She’s like awesome smart and stuff!” they got down to business: “SARAH PALIN WOULD HAVE BEEN WORSE!!!!SHE’S TEH STOOPID!!”

    1. “SARAH PALIN WOULD HAVE BEEN WORSE!!!!SHE’S TEH STOOPID!!”

      LOL, next time I’m negotiating with my boss for a raise I’ll try that one on him. After all, the logic must be unassailable, since it’s progressive logic.

  22. I blame Hanna-Barbera for the turmoil in the Middle East.

    Hanna and Barbera: history’s greatest monsters.

    1. More like history’s cheapest monsters.

      1. Foiled….again!

      2. And don’t forget *racist* monsters.

        “Queeks Draw, I theen…”

        “Now hoooooold on thar, Baba Looey! I’ll do the “thinnin'” around here, and doooon’t you forget e-it!”

  23. Has Bailey posted about the new climate study at project at Berkeley?

    http://m.guardian.co.uk/scienc…..pe=article

    It’s already being trashed by some because the Kochs are among it’s sponsors.

  24. (Unconfirmed) Sheepfuckers Rejoice at ruling in Indiana court.

    OK, this one could actually affect Reason and H&R posters with the likes of Joel Pile and other random fuckwits out there. (Well, at least until it’s deemed unconstitutional–fingers crossed)

    WTF was this judge thinking? Did he get the abridged version of the Bill of Rights or something?

    1. That’s fucked up, but probably inevitble.

      *sigh*

      Just have to keep using my made-up person in gmail, yahoo, hotmail, etc. etc. His life is so much better than mine, anyway…

    2. The judge ruled that The Star and IBJ must turn over the identifying information, which typically tells a poster’s Internet protocol address or Internet provider. Using that, an attorney can subpoena the Internet provider for the poster’s real name.

      RC Dean, I may have a little job for you…

      WTF was this judge thinking? Did he get the abridged version of the Bill of Rights or something?

      I’ll bet His Honor recently spied criticism of his rulings and decided “Nice comment boards you have there, shame if something happened to them…”

  25. In a half a million years, some enterprising young buck will be churning out a cottage industry level effort based upon “Ancient American texts”, written in barely decipherable Bureaucratese, and making dire predictions strangely relevant to his time.

  26. Shocked. Shocked, I tell you.

    The TSA says the screeners will not be fired, but will be disciplined and sent to remedial training, according to CBS New York. The station adds TSA spokeswoman Ann Davis “would not elaborate on the kind of punishment they would face.”

    1. Good thing they aren’t unionized.

    2. *sputtering*

      Well, they’d better get a STERN talking to!

      A STERN talking to!

    3. “There have been a number of additional security layers implemented on aircraft since 9/11 that would prevent someone from causing catastrophic damage with small cutting devices,” the TSA says in a written statement to AP.

      The news agency writes that the TSA “cited armed air marshals, bulletproof cockpit doors, pilots carrying firearms, flight crews trained in self-defense and ‘a vigilant traveling public who have demonstrated a willingness to intervene.’ “

      Glad to see the TSA finally admitting it is redundant and useless.

  27. Documents Reveal TSA Research Proposal To Body-Scan Pedestrians, Train Passengers

    Giving Transportation Security Administration agents a peek under your clothes may soon be a practice that goes well beyond airport checkpoints. Newly uncovered documents show that as early as 2006, the Department of Homeland Security has been planning pilot programs to deploy mobile scanning units that can be set up at public events and in train stations, along with mobile x-ray vans capable of scanning pedestrians on city streets.

    http://abcnews.go.com/Politics…..d=13037467

  28. Iowahawk takes Krugnuts to schol.

    Texas sudents outperform their Wisconsin counterparts in 17 out of 18 areas.

    1. Krugnuts is a hack idiot.

  29. As a product of some of Ohio’s public education I say the teachers should have had their breathing rights taken from them. Thank god for parents that required me to think and learn at home.

  30. The absolute best journalists anywhere. No question about it.

    The first Senate hearing considering U.S. EPA’s proposed 2012 budget quickly veered off course into skirmishes over the status of climate science and language passed in the House continuing resolution two weeks ago which prevented EPA from implementing greenhouse gas regulations, underscoring the challenges in budget discussions ahead.

    Because questions about whether your policies are based on bogus claims has no relevance to your budget.

    1. Exactly. Why on earth should whether you are spending money on projects that are outside your legal scope or based on bad science come up in a budget hearing?

  31. Nice; apparently, Chrysler is recalling a bunch of minivan-type vehicles, because they have a exhibited a disconcerting tendency to just shut themselves off while whizzing down the road.

    I’ll stick with my old-fashioned mechanical ignition switch, thanks.

    1. It’s Chrysler. Their electrical engineers have been mildly retarded monkeys since the early 50’s.

  32. Sex 101: Northwestern Class Watches Live Orgasm

    I’m pretty sure I took the online version of this class.

    1. Fucksaw. I have no other comment, I just wanted to type the word “fucksaw”.

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