At This Rate, All Crimes Will Soon Be Committed By TV Cops


While actual crime rates continue their multi-decade plummet (the most recent FBI violent crime statistics show a year-to-year drop of 6.2 percent in the first 6 months of 2010), the urge to fight crime through any means necessary is only getting more intense on America's television screens.

Who would have expected a Five-0 team where Danno and Chin-Ho Kelly do all the dramatic lifting?

The libertarian novelist and screenwriter J. Neil Schulman, who for reasons we probably shouldn't think about is hanging out at the Internet Movie Database message boards, shows how. When I was a kid, Hawaii Five-0 was the awesomest thing on TV. Now that I'm old, the awesomest thing on TV is Hawaii Five-O. But in a post titled "Hawaii Five-0 Fosters Official Lawlessness," Schulman points out a fairly disturbing difference between the overcaffeinated reboot and Leonard Freeman's relatively staid (though well caffeinated for its time) original:

My heroes are not Gestapo.

On last night's episode—Powa Maka Moana #1.18—Steve McGarrett demands to be let into a pawn shop for a search. The owner refuses, citing his 4th amendment rights: no search without a warrant. McGarrett then attaches a hand grenade to the anti-theft door and blows it down, committing felonies that Law & Order's prosecutor Jack McCoy would have charged to include assault and battery, attempted murder, reckless endangerment, and violation of civil rights. Hell, I'd charge him with terrorism and use of a Weapon of Mass Destruction. Is a hand grenade less powerful than the shoe bomb that sent Richard Reid to a supermax prison for life?

I want to see Steve McGarrett fired, doing a perp walk, hiring an attorney with his own money, losing his pension, and doing hard time.

For years we've been told that violence on TV creates imitation in real life. What, are police exempt from this theory? If a TV network makes felonies committed by a cop under color of authority entertainment, network standards and practices is complicit in fostering an atmosphere of lawlessness and disrespect for the Bill of Rights that can only encourage more official lawlessness.

Hey, new McGarrett, real cops don't slouch or blow up retail businesses.

While I have in the past applauded the new Five-O for its tacit encouragement of proper diet and exercise, the real reason to put McGarrett through the perp walk is that Alex O'Loughlin, who plays the part, is a charisma vacuum and the only weak point of the show. The Egyptian Mukhabarat-style tactics Schulman discusses are a world apart from the by-the-book methods employed by the original McGarrett—the rock-ribbed, dispassionate Jack Lord, who remained mindful of proper procedure and courteous toward all but the most felonious members of society. I'm not the first person to point out that the littler the dog the bigger the bark. Would a McGarrett as resolutely confident as Lord's have to break the rules like this?

Homer Simpson might point out here, "He gets results, you stupid chief!" And in fact the original Five-0 was sort of a throwback in a context of rightwing policiers that celebrated rogue cops. (Lucky for you I don't have time to uncork my thesis that the original Dirty Harry is more nuanced than its reputation suggests.) But if this McGarrett is already breaking the law before he's even had to take on Wo-Fat, what hope is there for the 50th (or is it the 51st?) state?

NEXT: This Land Is My Land, This Land Is Also My Land

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  1. Why are those cops ogling that 11-year-old girl? Or did we ask that same question several months ago in a previous thread?

    1. That “11-year-old girl” is Grace Park (Battlestar Galactica), and they’re ogling her because that’s what any red-blooded American/Hawaiian/Japanese-American would do.

      1. Don’t forget the Korean-Americans!

      2. I would literally cut off my left pinky for Grace Park. I just thought everyone should know that.

        1. I’ll see your left pinky and raise you an arm and a leg.

      3. That 11-year-old girl is like a road between Ft. Worth and Houston: No curves.

      4. I don’t find her attractive. Skinny is fine, but fucked up looking piggy snout of a nose is not.

        1. Buy some glasses:


          1. Lol! You would link to a pic that so obviously hides a complete profile of that snout. It’s a snout. Likely the result of shitty rhinoplasty at that.

            1. Hell yes! Pig. Snout!


              1. Man, they really did fuck that up. Or, the direct controlled source lighting of BSG was put to good use in covering up a flaw that can’t be hidden in the sunlight of Hawaii without going over budget on some serious CGI.

                one pic, http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dyn…..rk_320.jpg

                But every episode trailer of that show I’ve seen (never watched the episodes), that nose just looks awful.

                1. I’m not really a nose-man like you alan. I’m more into tits and vaginas.

                  1. What’s the point then? If they showed her tits and pussy, I’d probably watch the show, but as it stands, her boyish figure and smudgy face don’t so anything for me.

    2. Why are those cops ogling that 11-year-old girl?

      They’re interviewing her about Berlusconi…

    3. “I’m not the first person to point out that the littler the dog the bigger the bark.”

      Because they can’t do anything with their small, small penises – which is responsible for more police misconduct than all the Rambo, Schwarzennegger, and Bruce Willis movies combined.

  2. When I was a kid, Hawaii Five-0 was the awesomest thing on TV. Now that I’m old, the awesomest thing on TV is Hawaii Five-O.

    So, what you meant to say was “I don’t watch TV and this shit is why”?

    Personally, I’m still waiting on the remake of Hogan’s Heroes (oh, wait, was that what Heroes was?) though a remake of The Monkey’s tv show would be cool as shit too!

    1. Do you mean the Monkees or Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp?

      1. The latter being more awesome than our culture can handle today.

        We could use an Agency to Prevent Evil these days, too.

        1. Oh, Mata Hairi, with your sultry, simian ways.

          1. The allure of human-chimpanzee sexuality was further explored by Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes.

            Crazy times, the 70s.

            1. Damn dirty apes! Damn dirty, nasty dirty, hot apes!

              1. I’m surprised that Tim Burton didn’t remake the sequel (Beneath the Planet of the Apes): What Taylor did with the chimp woman and Nova after he realized he was on Earth.

      2. I loved Lancelot Link!


      3. You sure you don’t mean The Hathaways?

    2. …though a remake of The Monkey’s tv show would be cool as shit too!

      Actually, they did have the “New Monkees” in the ’80s.

      1. I vaguely remember this.

  3. Remember when Sonny Crockett executed at least on drug dealer a week?

    It took a little dehumanizing by television fiction to make it more socially acceptable for police to murder druggies.

    Who cares?
    They’re not human.
    They’re only druggies.

    1. Actually, I’ve been rewatching Miami Vice recently, and their respect for civil rights is in marked contrast to cop shows today. In that they actually had a little, as opposed to absolute zero today.

      1. It’s all the pastels. Made the cops calmer, less violent.

        1. That’s strange, I thought it was the Ferrari Daytona Spyder that did it.

          1. Nah, that induces drug use. The 308 on Magnum, P.I. was the subject of several studies demonstrating this effect.

            1. I thought it was Higgins who caused the drug use. You’re confusing me a lot today, ProL. I need to go talk to Icepick.

              1. Pay your tab at the club first.

              2. That’s understandable, as his role in Blazing Saddles is generally thought to have ushered in the widespread use of coke in the 70s.

            2. You fool. 308’s only induces British gentleman’s friendships. How else do you explain Higgins?

              1. Fucking refresh. How does it work?

              2. I never understood the buddys-therefore-gay thing. It’s not like it was Top Gun or something.

                1. I never understood the buddys-therefore-gay thing.

                  I blame Delvecchio.

                2. It might have something to do with the homo-erotic overtones that’s always been portrayed in the popular media, with all the lonely soldiering and only the filthy native women around to rape.

                  Colonizing the world was hard work you know. If you can’t have quiet and familiar solidarity with your best mate when no one else is around, what can you have?

                  1. I don’t believe it. I’m sure Oxford and Cambridge boys were straight or asexual and raped native women with the same fervor and aplomb as Americans.

      2. I liked Edward James Olmos. He was the only reason to watch MV.

        1. Castillo was admittedly awesome. When he went full ninja in that episode with the guy from Sledge Hammer!, it was the coolest shit on TV.

          1. Yeah, I remember that episode!!! All the Yakuza guys he apprehended kept swallowing their tounges rather than break “the code of silence”. He was searching for his daughter and went katana on the bad guys.

            David Rasche was the Sledge Hammer guy.

            1. Trust me…I know what I’m doing.

              1. Wow, I never thought I would see a “Sledge Hammer” reference on here. I use to love that show when I was a kid.

                1. I have the DVDs. It holds up somewhat, but not that well. It was intended, initially, for cable and would have been even more ridiculous if it had managed to be that, but it instead got picked up by network TV and had to tone down.

                  1. What would have been the best series ender ever, but a 2nd season was greenlit:

                    Trust me, I know what I’m doing

                    1. At what point are they going to fix the damned linking code.

          2. I wasn’t a big fan of the show, but he was great.

            Always thought it was weird that Crockett was supposed to be a former Florida football star. I guess he could’ve been a punter or something.

            1. This was the ’80s. Burt Reynolds was a college football player.

              1. Yes, but he was also big enough to have actually played as a tailback. Don Johnson is kind of a runt, at least in terms of football.

  4. They should’ve titled my show Jack Bauer: SUGER KGB AGENT but then the PATRIOT act was passed so it’s all good.


    1. SUGER


      1. Who’s this SUGER guy? The ultimate badass?

  5. I have not watched the “new” Hawaii Five Oh…and I will not. I want my Kono and Chin Ho to be fat native islanders, not 11 year old chicks.

    And “Mannix” was the shiz at that time, Tim, even better than Five Oh. MANNIX, I say! He had the coolest car…

    That is all.

    1. http://www.google.com/imgres?i…..03&bih=596

      I mean, come on!

    2. I’ve watched the new version a few times. It is dismaying. Turned off the TV in the middle of one episode when the cops kidnapped and started torturing a suspect. They are supposed to be the good guys??

      Give me Jack Lord any day–along with Kam Fong as Chin Ho!

      1. You are clearly a man after my own heart – chaka!

      2. Also, “Zulu as Kono”….FTW!

        1. Yeah Kono was underutilized–would have liked to see more of him.

          1. I guess I need to speak up in defense of Kono’s replacements: Ben and Duke.

      3. I just wish there would be an episode where some big Tongan takes Danno by the scruff of hair on top of his head and busts him in his 5′ 2″ face.

    3. They should just drop the whole cop show pretense and just follow the bikini chick around for forty four minutes.

      1. this was the genius of “Baywatch”

    4. Mannix also had the hot secretary. There was never any implication of romantic involvement, but, heck you just knew they had it going on.

  6. Homer Simpson might point out here, “He gets results, you stupid chief!”

    Ah, McGarnagle… eases the pain.

    1. Police Chief: McBain! That cannon of yours is not regulation size!
      McBain: But how do you expect me to avenge my partner with this tiny pea-shooter!
      Police Chief: In my department we do things by the book!
      (McBain shoots book in Police Chief’s hand, blowing a hole in the wall) Bye book!

    2. Dammit McGarnacle!

      (I was into The Shield when I first saw that episode, and the parody was uncannily apt.)

  7. Dumb question, completely divorced from the main point of post, but why is the fact that Schulman hangs around IMDB message boards a disturbing thing? I fail to see how it is disturbing, considering that this is the internet.

    1. Because IMDB message boards are barely a step above YouTube message boards. If you don’t find that disturbing, you need to go read some YouTube comments.

      1. I’ve seen them, I am not at all bothered by it. Who cares? I don’t get why people are such puritans about the internet these days.

        1. Imagine if every commenter on here was John and MNG, Tony, Max, or shrike… then you would be 1/10 of the way to a YouTube message board.

          1. Christ – John & MNG, while they can be pains in the ass, make intelligent comments. Tony, while a borderline troll, is also not a moron – he’s just unable to get out of liberalthink much of the time.

            Shriek and Max are definite YouTube commenter material.

            Shriek11!!: UR not reel libertaryans, UR JustinByeber fanz who sux cox with so-cons LOL!!
            MaxMax46: FuckYa shreik! Libtards suck RonPuals coxk 2!

            1. You forgot the evar-poplar “Christ-fags and Fat Rush cocksuckers.”

      2. I tried to sign up for the IMDb boards so I could comment on how they’ve screwed up the “born on this day” pages, and got a message that I either had to give them a credit card number associated with an Amazon account, or my cell phone number. Not happening.

    2. I think the joke is that he’s not, you know, working. It’s like the starving “artist” who hangs out at the art gallery.

  8. Is there some kind of union instigation going on in Wisconsin right now?

  9. Adam-12, now there was a great show. You wouldn’t catch Reed or Malloy blowing up doors with hand grenades. No sir.

    1. Wasn’t that like Dragnet, based on actual cop stories?

      1. Yes.

        1. As TV cops go, libertarians could live with them.

          1. You know, maybe the portrayal of cops as law-abiding, rule-following, uncorrupt servants of the people is worse than what we see today.

            1. You may be on to something; lulling us into a false sense of security?

              1. That was when police still carried six shot revolvers and had no vests. They didn’t even wear seatbelts fer cryin…
                How did the world manage not to end?

                1. Back then, the black markets didn’t pay average criminals enough for them to afford reliable, high-powered firearms. So the cops were the beneficiaries of the old “Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight” adage. This truth, incidentally, is one of the reasons some cops are now openly anti-WoD.

                  1. I blame punks with cell phones.

                    1. Is there a taser app available yet?

      2. Yeah, but the names were changed to protect the innocent.

        1. That’s another difference. We don’t have innocent people on contemporary cop shows.

    2. True dat – also “Emergency” – Johnny Gage was my HERO!

      “Rampart, Rampart….”

      1. Also kicked ass. Especially the forest fire eps.

      2. I was a kid when Emergency was originally on, and remember asking my parents why they always took off the men’s shirts to administer the defibrillator, but never took off the women’s shirts to do it. 😉

  10. There were a couple of (old) 5-0 episodes about a master safecracker / criminal who was a 50 year-old guy. They were well plotted, and IIRC, the criminal got away. I don’t think they’d do that today.

  11. Kam Fong as “Chin Ho”.

    I’m certainly glad that they didn’t cast against type in those days.

    1. how about Zulu as Kono?

  12. THE ARC OF TERROR!!!!!!


    “Arc of Imperial Nuclear Terror” house cleaning.

    [Egypt in the crosshairs]

    Egypt is in the crosshairs of history, and in the sights of the Democratic Hypocrisy American-Israeli Military Industrial Complex “Arc of Imperial Nuclear Terror” running from its [Foothold Germany] thru Tunisia, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan [The Islamic Crescent], [Lynch Pin] Nationalist China, [Trip-Wire] Republic of Korea, to [Foothold] Okinawa, with its massive use of “Coalition of the willing” client state support. The very forces that seek to control, contain, intimidate thru the brutal force of puppet dictators and Emperors, and unchanging client Democracy’s of Hypocrisy. The [Global Spheres of Global Parity of Influence] must stand together the [BRICS] Brazil, The Russian Federation, India, The Democratic Peoples Republic of China, and The Union of South Africa, lending aid and assistance to the Egyptian Peoples, not allowing massive external interference, thru covert subversion of the revolution by the [CIA] Central Intelligence Agency/State Department], or the continued on going open intervention now underway between the [Joint Chiefs of Staff] and the heads of the former Egyptian Armed Forces Leadership, trained at the [School of Terrorism] in Ft. Benning, Georgia, and financially supports to the tune of [$Billion in USD’s$] Billion in United States Dollars and its forces of “The Coalition of the willing” client states.

    [Dictatorship or Equal Partnership]

    The Journey the Odyssey has begun, and history is all about the small steps and the large leaps forward, based upon lessons learned from the past, but with the full knowledge that what is past is past, and the present will determine the course of the future. [The Spheres of Global Parity of Influence] are on the march and must act in an aggressive supporting nature to other [Spheres of Regional Influence] acting as bulwarks, against and hold accountable the American-Israeli Military Industrial Complex and those client “Coalition of the willing” states, which are seeking to block by any means the Journey the Odyssey, of any an all [Spheres] seeking Freedom of Choice of Religion, Freedom of Choice of Governmental Structure, Control of their own Regional Resources, Establishment of like minded Regional Exclusive Association Memberships to address regional issues, to control their own destiny in the [21st] Century and beyond, without outside interference or control. The Global Revolution has begun and it is a fight between the past and the present for the future, the continued Democracy’s of Hypocrisy of the American Israeli Military Industrial Complex government of Washington, [D.C.] District of Clowns, with its economic strangulation by the long reaching tentacles of the [NYSE] New York Stock Exchange with its [Tyranny of the Bottom Line], the [CIA/State Department] spider and web masters of covert subversion, and its heavy handed [Military/CIA/Mercenary] Coalition of the Willing Client State, repeat with Black Op Prisons and torture, and its “Arc of Imperial Nuclear Terror” running from [Foothold Germany to Foothold Okinawa], or [The Spheres of Global Parity of Influence], a dictatorship or a community with equal partnership.

    [House Cleaning]

    The [The Spheres of Global Parity of Influence], can no longer sit idly by and take a wait and see approach, but must become actively involved, the building of the “Arc of Imperial Nuclear Terror” must be countered with their own “Spheres of Nuclear Parity” protective umbrella’s of modern missile delivery systems able to penetrate any and all defensive systems presented. They must end the [$USD$] based economic system cutting the tentacles ending the reach and grasp by the [NYSE] upon the economic legs of developing future association membership nations of developing [Spheres of Global Parity of Influence] drowning them in the sea of its Tyranny of the Bottom Line Debt. The Spider Webs of Covert subversion centered in their embassy’s must be swept away by the closing of the embassy’s of Washington [D.C.s] Democracy’s of Hypocrisy and working thru neutral government embassy’s if that’s what it takes, the hunting down of the Spiders of the [CIA] eliminating them by counter espionage methods, and to work together to stop any actions against any state by the Military Industrial Complex [Military/CIA/Mercenary/Coalition of the Willing Client States], to include the addition of any client state development based upon military support or training development. All this must be support by a Free Press and not a Controlled version of a Free Press, The Russian writer Mikhail Bakunin once said quote; [The people must be told everything.]Unquote, but it is up to the people to read what has been written, digest it, understand it, and then make their own decisions, holding those they placed into the public offices of the people; to act of the people, by the people, and for the people, accountable to fulfill those duties, monitored by its Free Press. In the [Arc of Imperial Nuclear Terror] it is necessary to do house cleaning and revolutions are just house cleaning and putting things back in order.


    1. I never guessed you for a Five-O fan, Herc! Welcome to da club, bruddah!

    2. Fartnoise! Fartnoise! Fartnoise! Fartnoise! Fartnoise! Fartnoise!



      1. Hahaha well played, anonbot

      2. +1 to da bot

    3. And yet the Muslim missionary got banned.

      Why does Reason hate Islam?

  13. And does any cop show ever have a uniform just go up and knock on a door anymore? It seems that every show I see, nothing less than a full assault by a squadron of paramilitary troops is undertaken for anything more serious than a parking ticket.

    I don’t like the trend, and it seems to be desensitizing people to goon squad tactics in real life.

    1. But dunphy said that they’re highly trained experts?!

      (looks at Jeffersonian with doe-eyes)

    2. I have been impressed with Southland this year.

    3. Read about Jason Kemp Grand Junction, CO 7/21/10

  14. TEXIFORNIA!!!!!!



    So, what are the pillars of society and not being a lettered man or a social engineer, and not really interested in being one but only an observer at the ending of life, we have noticed from living in various social environments, that some things seem to be unique to all neighborhood’s and would have to apply to the greater social engineering of society, and those would have to be;

    * Common Language: Well it make’s it a lot easier in a local neighborhood if you can speak to the other guy, growing up before the growing evolution of the North American Continent, we had [DP’s] Displaced Persons from [WWII] World War Two Europe primarily, and the parents would scream at the kids we are in America now, we are American’s you Speak American, plus a few ear pulling and open handed smacks to the face, but the message got thru, but it didn’t apply to Grandma or Grand-dad. So a common language seems to be a key, the movie Pillow Book is a good movie to demonstrate how important a common language is.

    * Common Regional Area with Geographic Boundaries: The boundaries were set in the city by streets generally, but could be divided by factory areas, parks, commercial areas, but generally there had to be a common regional area of safety, if you want a better idea get the movie Warriors, basically a Gang called the Warriors had to fight their way back to their turf Common Regional and Geographic Area, thru others turf. So a common area where you have the advantage of Regional knowledge and supremacy is a must.

    * Common Race: Now this is the point when all the liberals get up in your face and call you a racist and that in today’s society race has nothing to do with anything, that the Israel-American Empire is going to be a Black-African Heritage based society, the answer to that is well maybe. The Empire is in the process of social engineering the creation of a mix race society, portraying it as the new wave. Now, these things have a way of working themselves out we sort of figure, but we have lived long enough to have seen it ain’t gonna work, or the price can be very high. Fiddler on the Roof was a good example, the old Jew with all the daughters when along with pretty much everything and saw change as well it happens, but when it came to marriage outside the Religion and Social Group, Get Out And Never Darken My Door Again. Try being a Red Headed Whiskey drinking no prospects Catholic Irishman dating a dark haired, dark eyed brain Greek Orthodox, chick you don’t see to many My Big Fat Greek Wedding, like that’s going to happen.

    * Common Religion: The Jewish Religion has to be the proof of the pudding when it comes to the Common Religion. The Protocols’ of the Elders of Zion, a written method of keeping a nation without a Common Regional Area with Geographic Boundaries, and Common Race locations, a people who had decided on a [1] One True God Deist Religion, built an entire dogma, and social engineered group around it, that takes the cake, they did it and are still doing it, and it works.


    The Israeli-American Empire only consists of the [2] Two Metropolis City, which really combined is a Mega-Metropolis of [NYC] New York City, and Washington, D. C. [District of Clowns], which have many if not all of the pillars of society Common Language Money and Power, Common Race Green Back Dollar Green, Common Religion Greed, and of course common regional area, plus most are inter-married or at least having intercourse with each other over money or physically, and now they are trying to do social engineering to preserve themselves in power, but this should have been started in [1492] when Columbus decided to sail the oceans blue, well they sort of did the GOLD was in South America, so all the basic’s of society a Common Society exist South of the Boarder between Mexico and the Yankee North. But the North American Continent is in a period of Evolution, Secession or Breaking Apart into at least [8] Eight Geo-Political Regional Common Regional Area’s with Geographic Boundaries:

    * The Republic of Alaska

    * America: The Confederate States of America

    * America: The United States of America

    * The Republic of California

    * The Republic of Cascadia: Carved out of Northwestern Washington State, and the Canadian province of British Columbia.

    * The Republic of Hawaii

    * The Mormon Republic

    * The Republic of Texas

    * The Republic of Vermont: Carved out of the New York State Adirondacks, Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine.

    [The Collapse from Within]

    The Israeli-American Empire failed to even, begin to build the pillars of society that ensure its being a lasting one.

    * A Common Language? NO!

    * A Common Religion? NO!

    * A Common Race? NO! But, now the social engineering is built upon the idea of having a mixed not Black, not White, non descript racial identity as the North American Race, with a combined racial identity, this idea hasn’t work either way it turned into either a White with Black features or a Black that has White features, much like a fashion statement in the [60’s] the Jackie Syndrome, in the [21st] Century the Imperial Media Messiah President Syndrome look, but there are many who do not want to live in a mixed race society, and you can see this in any city, some cities are all Black, this goes beyond just Color, the Irish neighborhood, the Italian neighborhood, the Jewish Ghetto, the Korean, Japanese, Little China Town, etc. etc. etc. Love seems to have its own agenda and rules, but it has to be understood it can come at a very high price.

    * Common Geographic and Regional Areas; NO! Again people who don’t want to be around other groups separate themselves into enclaves which each side knows what and where the boundary lines are, its Apartheid, and all communities and nations have some form of it.

    [A Time of Empire Evolution]

    The Empire has lost its moral authority, intellectually, financially, militarily having reached the point of being unsustainable, ungovernable, and is unfixable, governed from the Mega-Metropolis of [NYC] New York City, and Washington, D. C. [District of Clowns], by an oligarchy of jaded pros, the permanent inter-married residents locked in the Beltway whose only movement is from Pennsylvania Avenue, when they are in office, to K-Street when they are out and back again. The Empire has begun its decline from both without and within, the Southwest is in rapid Evolution as a Society based upon A Common Language Spanish, A Common Religion Roman Catholicism, and Common Heritage are in fact bring about the creation of what will be at least [1] One if not [2] Two New Republics on the North American Continent; The Republic of California and The Republic of Texas or [1] Large New Republic of what Texifornia. Make no mistake the Evolution is in progress, caused by the weakening of prolonged Wars of Economic Stimulus without maintenance of social structure or inter-structure, an a failure to get its Pillars built first, the New North American Continent will;

    * Evolution into an Afro-American Heritage Society in some regions

    * Evolution away from an Afro-American Heritage Society in other regions.

    * Evolution into Socialism from Capitalism in regions, while others seek Communism, or other form of economic system.

    * Evolution into English, French [Republic of Vermont], and Spanish Speaking Republics [Republic of California/Texas or Texifornia]

    * Evolution into Roman Catholic, Mormon, Jewish and other Republics.

    No matter what you choose to call it Change, Collapse, Evolution, Secession or Revolution, The PILLARS OF SOCIETY were never put into place, a piece of cloth on a pole, or a piece of paper behind bullet proof glass in a hermetically sealed environment, or long speeches are not substitutes for the Pillars. All Men are NOT created Equal, they were created Different and they choose to be among others who share those individual traits that make them different and unique, the State of Arizona is simply wasting its time, a New Republic in the Southwest in being born carved out the Empires Southwest.


    1. What the fuck is this shit?

      1. It’s our new pet.

        1. I DON’T LIKE SPAM!


          1. Do you have something that doesn’t have so much spam in it? I don’t like spam.

            1. Well, we’ve got spam, spam, spam, baked beans and spam.

        2. It’s our new pet.

          And if you can’t housetrain the little shit, it’s back to the pound with him!

    2. I want whatever he’s having.

      1. That guy makes me misty for Wahid Al-Whatshisface from this morning.

  15. I want to see Steve McGarrett fired, doing a perp walk, hiring an attorney with his own money, losing his pension, and doing hard time.


    They can put him in the cell next to Jack Bauer.

  16. “Well, it hasn’t got MUCH Spam in it…”

    1. If this keeps up we’re screwed. Hopefully the Reason intern is back from lunch and checking the comments.

    2. Well, there’s spam egg sausage and spam, that’s not got much spam in it.

  17. Strange? For Schulman, its downright normal. Don’t get me wrong, I like the guy and his work, but he’s definently a bit on the nutty side.

    As an aside, I highly reccomend his novel Alongside Night. Superior to Atlas Shrugged in almost every way possible (no speeches!)

    1. OK, I don’t mean to pick on you in particular, but the constant Atlas-hate, especially among libertarians, is really freaking tiresome. It’s like some ritual to ward off evil. Or it’s supposed to indicate some kind of special libertarian street-cred.

      The standard jab at Atlas (OH NOES SPEECHES) is pretty weak. There aren’t that many of them, and the shorter ones (e.g. Francisco’s root-of-all-money speech) are worth re-reading on occasion. Otherwise, it’s got a great f—ing long-ass plot, great f—ing characters (especially the villains, and excepting the big man himself, who is perfect and therefore kind of uninteresting), some great f—ing dialogue. I’m supposed to forget all that because of one long speech (just like I’m supposed to forget the rest of the Fountainhead because Rand couldn’t resist spelling out her rape fantasy.) And Rand’s cinematic literary style is totally underrated, as documented by Kirsti Minsaas among others. It might have been even better in Russian, but then nobody would have read it.

      I like Alongside Night (I bought one of those autographed copies from LFB and treasure it), but it’s superior to Atlas Shrugged in one way: the absence of that one long plot interruption in the form of Galt’s speech. Which, personally, I skip because I know that stuff, but only because it was later put in essays where it belongs. If I were reading Atlas back in the 50’s, I might feel different.

      Alongside Night is fun and worth reading, but honestly I can’t remember much about it besides the Revolutionary Agorist Cadre, the Friedman-analogue, and some kind of subterranean bases.

      1. Whoa, calm down there. I wasn’t trying to badmouth Atlas. It’s a great book for what it is. I just find Alongside Night to be better written.

        1. Yes, I like Rand’s books, but she wasn’t exactly a flawless author. However, she is an important one.

  18. So no love for Southland here?

  19. Detroit 187 anyone?

    1. Haven’t watch it. Is it worth a watch?

      1. No. It’s awful.

    2. Too unrealistic. Nobody actually lives in Detroit anymore. It’s kind of like trying to make the Martian Chronicles into a reality show.

      1. Wait a cotton pickin’ minute.
        I live in Detroit. Since there’s lots of fuckin’ people around constantly pissing me off, I conclude that others do as well.

        Haven’t bothered to watch the friggin’ welfare funded show.

        1. Are you for or against the Robocop statue?

          1. Who is against a crowd-sourced Robocop statue?

            1. I can’t imagine how anyone could be opposed to such a thing.

          2. I’m a libertarian. Naturally I’m against a publicly funded or maintained Robocop statue.

            If the private sector wishes to finance it, it’s not really any of my friggin’ business, is it?

            The newly surfaced need in Detroit for RoboCop may be a fluke, inspired by a whimsical tweet on Twitter, but it is proving bizarrely compelling. This Detroit need is perverse on its face. But ever since the call went out last week to erect a large public, but privately funded, statue of the cyborg/cinematic hero of the 1987 movie, people ? at least 963 ? have answered.

            1. Yes, privately funded, of course. After all, we are not communists.

              1. We’ve got a Mary Tyler Moore (as a hat throwing Mary Richards) statue in downtown Minneapolis:


                1. Same thing.

                2. Man, that fuckin’ thing is a rube magnet….

  20. “Book us, Danno.”

    No one thought to use that? Even in alt text?

  21. My wife and I have watched most episodes. I lived above Pearl Harbor as a young child (Army brat) when the original series aired – I remember my parents telling me they were filming a show where we were, at one point. I fondly remember the original – especially the opening shot of the B-52 landing gear. Anyway, my wife loves new version, I am disliking each new episode. Besides the blatant civil rights violations, they do stupid cop things. For instance, Dann-O drives up to the mansion owned by his ex-wife’s husband, with his ex-wife and 8-ish child in the car. He sees that the house has broken in to – so, he gets out of the car, and clears a mansion by himself. Unbelievable, even by the sci-fi standards I hold dear…

    1. I watched a few episodes. It has beautiful scenery, is very easy to watch, and is more than a little dumb. So yeah, all the makings of a hit show.

  22. I can’t watch any cop shows at all anymore….thanks Radley.

    1. Same here, the only two that I still watch are “The Closer” and “Southland”. Both have featured police beating the crap out of people and abusing their power with impunity.

      1. “The Closer” is one of my favorite shows, but it bugs me when Brenda & team violate people’s civil rights six ways to Sunday. My only hope is that perhaps it will wake folks up to the fact that cops are like your prom date; they will tell you anything to get from you what they want.

    2. +1.

      If you really want to get pissed, watch those “Policewomen of X County” shows. I’m pretty sure that one of those title sequences features the line “There’s never a bad time to use a taser.”

  23. Everyone knows the A-Team was superior in every way to every TV action drama EVAR. Because of Dirk Benedict. *flutters*

    1. Oh good grief! Dirk “The Face”? Whatta tool!

      I liked George Peppard myself. Yeah, he had some snow on the roof, but I remembered him from the Banecek show…and he was pretty suave.

      1. I didn’t watch the show, yet I was still weirded out when Murdock played Oppenheimer.

  24. The X-Files did a lot of pointing-guns-at-citizens-and-yellin’ too.

    Friends would (gently) remind me that it wasn’t real.

    1. I remember in one episode one of the G-men literally taking shots in the dark.

    2. “The truth is not out there”
      –Bart Simpson

  25. When I was a kid, Hawaii Five-0 was the awesomest thing on TV.

    When I was a kid, it was Hawaiian Eye.

  26. I was just raving today about how awesome the new 5-0 is. In fact, I was telling a guy about using a hand grenade an dudes with that shitty “I know my constitutional rights” attitude.

    5-0 is just like Cobra in installments. Horrible acting, breathtakingly stupid plot twists and retarded violence.

    The other thing that always gets me is how cool the computer equipment is on the show. Yesterday they were using “biometric data” from a security camera (i.e. they scanned the features around the perp – who was wearing a ski mask – eyes) and comparing it with the eyeball scans of a bunch of other thugs.

    Seriously, that is like an order of magnitude better than CSI’s sissy ass “zoom in and enhance” computer system.

    The only downside to 5-0 is that Hawaii has the stupidest crooks ever. None of them ever dummy up until they get a lawyer. All of them spill the beans within 5 minutes.

    One last interesting note is that all the cops and good guys in 5-0 drive Chevy’s, while all the crooks drive Fords.

  27. Lucky for you I don’t have time to uncork my thesis that the original Dirty Harry is more nuanced than its reputation suggests.


    If you can’t distill it down to a paragraph then you have no business being a TV and/or movie critic.

  28. Grand Junction, CO 7/21/2010 Colorado State Troopers said they were coming in.
    Jason Kemp says you can not come in without a warrant. State Trooper broke open the door and pepper sprayed Jason.
    Again you can come in without a warrant. Colorado State Trooper broke on the door again and shot and killed Jason Kemp. He was in his house and he was unarmed, he demand a warrant and the State of Colorado had him shot and killed.
    Two State Troopers appear in court in Grand Junction 3/8/11 Stay tuned to this real life story.

  29. Funny how I found this thread. I was attacked by police – a sexual assault to start with in order to provoke my resistance. I was then tased, brutalized and maced. I was charged with two felonies. I imagine that’s the way they usually get their asses covered by the DA. I couldn’t afford a decent attorney…and my court-appointed one din’t bother to put on much of a case. So I got fucked. Well, after I got out of jail, I din’t have any dignity left – so I seriously considered becoming a prostitute…and by way of that, I met up with a cop who was screwing around on his fiance – whom I was told was frigid. I could understand why if she was – he had the lilest dick I’ve ever felt – could barely tell that I was having sex. And it makes me realize – when I was attacked, there was a point at which I was made unconscious. I don’t know how long I was out. And it’s very possible that these cops raped me and I wouldn’t have even known – because their dicks may have been too lil to be able to tell later.

  30. Scottsdale Police Officer James Peters (SCOTTSDALE, AZ) – An unarmed Arizona grandfather was blasted in the head this week by a police officer who killed the man because he “thought” he had a weapon.2-16-2012 Colorado State Trooper that shot Jason Kemp has a court date 4-2-2012

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